May the stars guide us home - a Finalizer story

by cliffdiving

Fallen out of favor after Kylo Ren's ascend as Supreme Leader General Armitage Hux has lost his place of prominence within the First Order. He and his crew onboard of the Finalizer are sent on a mission to the Outer Rim to investigate a series of strange disappearances clearly meant to get rid of them. What they find there will change their fates forever.

14. Revelations

When the people with authority don't have to answer to the citizens of the galaxy, the result is tyranny. – Mon Mothma, Chancellor of the New Republic

---

Briseis stepped off Ellesmee's underground train, a slightly annoyed look on her face. Stars, that breakfast with her mother had been as exhausting, as she had dreaded.

With Khendrik up on the Finalizer, Zenia had concentrated all her disapproval at her children's latest decisions in life on her daughter.

Briseis sighed. Unfortunately, she did not agree with her mother's assessment that Khendrik's and Tasha's marriage was still salvageable at all. But then she had never warmed up to her sister in law. That insistence that a career in the military was something inadvisable was the same her mother had levelled at her for years.

Kriff, if she had to listen one more time to the accusation that she was wasting her real talents…

Using an elevator up to the street level, Briseis smiled, as she saw Masir already waiting at the place she had described to him, at least some of her annoyance disappearing instantly.

She felt a little flash of unease at the thought that she had not mentioned him to her mother at all, just grumbling something unintelligible, when she had asked, if there were some news on the romance front.

However, she could imagine quite vividly how Zenia would react to the news that Briseis was dating not only a military man, but also a member of the First Order.

"Hey," Masir greeted her with a broad smile that showed his dimples and a kiss. "Who would have thought we would have a whole day to ourselves?"

Briseis grinned as well at the thought, linking her arm with his and guiding him into the direction of the inner-city ring. "If you are not averse to a little walking, we could go by foot and stop at the market to buy some food. We can cook lunch at my flat then."

"Sounds like a plan."

Strolling through Ellesmee with the First Order Captain turned out to be a lot of fun. While Briseis loved her city, she had lived here with a few interruptions for all her life, so it was great to see it through the eyes of a visitor, Masir's ardent interest in every new street they discovered contagious.

When they reached the big open market place, his hazel eyes sparkled. "Wow, I don't think I have ever seen so many fresh fruits and vegetables at one place."

She laughed. "We get most things from Terenia, it is very fertile." The older woman at the market stall she often frequented greeted her with a friendly smile.

"What do you think about some sweet potato risotto with goat's cheese for lunch and some golden melons as dessert?"

Her companion blinked. "I only understood half of it, but I'm sure it is delicious."

Briseis bought the necessary ingredients, knowing she would not have much at home after being away for so long, before pulling Masir to the other end of the market.

"It's not far from here anymore."

As they passed another row of buildings, they could see the ocean in the spaces between the houses. "Oh, you actually live near the sea?"

"Mmmh," Briseis guided him to the entrance of one of the buildings, opening the gate with her code. "I kind of splurged a little on my apartment. It is not all that big, but the terrace has a direct ocean view. We had that when I was a child and I really wanted it again."

They had taken the elevator up to her floor and finally stepped into her home. "Wow," Masir's eyes widened more than a little. "Yeah, that's what I call a view."

Briseis felt a little pride that he liked her home and followed him, as he walked onto the terrace. While the flat was actually only one room and the bathroom, a small open kitchen to one side and a small partition separating her bed from the rest of the room, the terrace was spacious and let in the sea breeze and the sound of the waves.

"I've only been to the sea a few times in my life," Masir said. "Galatea City was far from it and we did not have the credits to go there, when I was a child. And well, after I joined the Order, there were no opportunities any more…" For a moment, Briseis wondered, why he had really joined the Order. He had once told her it had been for the money, but somehow she thought it was not the whole story.

"I always loved it. It nearly broke my heart, when Mum sold our house at the sea, after Dad's death." She stepped next to him and stared at the waves. "I can understand her decision today. Too many memories and it was good for all of us to move into Aunt Thalis' house. With five children there was always something going on there. But then I was incredible angry at her."

Masir looked at her, his eyes compassionate. "He was in the military, wasn't he?"

"Mmmh, yes." Briseis sighed. "He was Elaine noe Sa'onserei's sworn protector. So when the shuttle of Selene's parents exploded he was onboard as well." A tragedy that had only forged the two girls even closer together.

"Oh, so Khendrik…"

"Followed in Dad's footsteps," Briseis nodded. "A fact that Mum always hated. She's permanently afraid that something will happen to him. And that I also joined the military did not make it better."

"What would she have preferred?" there was open curiosity in the Captain's eyes.

"Well, she loves to mention that I had a spot at the Conservatorium at Coruscant, so I guess becoming a professional singer like her," she shrugged. "But I also aced the entrance test into the Flight Academy and while I cannot imagine my life without music there just is something about flying…" She trailed off, unsure how to describe it.

"It makes you feel like the whole Galaxy is in reach of your fingertips." Masir said, the look on his face understanding.

"Yes," Briseis smiled at him, not really surprised that he instantly got, what she meant. "I mean I really love Ellesmee, but somehow it always felt too small to spend all my time here."

They decided to go inside and prepare the food, then. The blonde Zi'daya had to laugh loudly, when it turned out Masir was abysmal at it, skewering the potatoes she gave him to peel. He frowned, when she saved them hectically. "I guess I am a little too used to just getting my food in the Cantina by now."

"Don't worry," Briseis teased him. "You have me to teach it to you. Although that seems quite the daunting task." She took a sip from her wine, having poured them both a glass, when she had put a generous amount in the risotto. Perhaps a little daring with it not even being noon, but it was their free day after all.

Sitting at the table a while later and savoring the food, Masir made an appreciating sound. "Mmh, that's so good. I see you have even more talents than I thought. I will probably never go hungry ever again."

The look in his laughing, hazel eyes made warmth settle comfortably in Briseis' stomach, before a thought whispered through her mind. It was not the first time he made a comment that indicated he planned to be part of her life for longer than just this mission. However, they had never discussed how that might be possible.

"Have you ever thought of leaving the Order?" without considering the implications, she let the question fall between them. It immediately caused the expression on his face to change, a lot of his cheerful warmth replaced by a much cooler look.

"There is only one way to leave the Order." There was a stark finality to his tone.

Briseis felt dread rise up inside her. No longer able to remain seated at the table, she stood up, busying herself with carrying her empty plate to the sink and starting to rinse it off.

"Briseis…" Masir's voice was pleading. "Let's not discuss this today."

The blonde Zi'daya stopped pretending she was occupied with the plate and looked at him. "And how in the blazes of the universe do you think it will be possible that we ever see each other again after this mission?"

She had been able to ignore the fact that their relationship was doomed from the start for some time, loosing herself in some fantasy that it would just go on like this. She and the others staying on the Finalizer, the mission dragging on indefinitely. But this was all it was, wasn't it? A fantasy.

While she was quite sure after their last conversation that Selene had not planted the virus yet, they needed an alternative. She could think of only one possible solution. Because accepting First Order rule was definitely no option.

Masir got up as well, stepping closer to her, a troubled expression on his face. "I don't know. But perhaps…" He drew his hand through his brown locks in agitation. "Whatever there is between the General and Sa'onserei it might change things. If she supports him in High Command, this might be a permanent alliance. The Finalizer might come here more often," some kind of desperate hope flashed over his face. "Or perhaps Hux will install a permanent presence of the Order here. I could apply for a transfer…"

Briseis could not help a sarcastic laugh escape her, making him stop. "Stars, you don't really expect Selene to betray her people's interests for a few romps between the sheets. She would never forget her duty like that. There will be no First Order presence in Ellesmee."

The First Order Captain stared at her, realization dawning on his face. "Because you don't really consider us allies. No," she had not known his eyes could be that cold. "you see us as the enemy."

"Oh please, you don't want to tell me you honestly want that autocratic bunch of warmongers to rule the Galaxy?" Briseis could not help the abhorrence in her voice.

"I am a Captain of the First Order. Anything else would be treason," for a moment she felt, as if she was looking at a stranger, so emotionless was Masir's face. He scoffed. "And believe me, I know quite well it was not all flowers and rainbows under the New Republic."

"At least the Republic did not have to destroy entire planets and murder countless innocents to reach its goals." The Zi'daya shook her head. "No, the First Order has to be stopped and…"

Masir moved so quickly, she made a surprised sound, the noise caught by the way he put his hand over her mouth, caging her in against the kitchen counter.

"Don't Brie…" his voice was dangerously soft at her ear. "Don't say anything I will have no choice but to report."

And standing in her own kitchen, her heart hammering in her breast, for the first time since she had met him, she realized that for all intents and purposes he was actually her enemy.

She felt tears rise up in her eyes at the thought. Masir's eyes widened, obviously thinking his actions had caused them and let go of her immediately.

"Oh, stars, Briseis, I am so sorry." He buried his face in her hair, pulling her towards him. "That's not what I wanted."

She looked at him, softly touching his face. "I know."

His hazel eyes were solemn, as he regarded her. "It might look a little challenging at the moment, but we will find a way, okay? Because blast it," he put his hand at her nape touching his forehead against hers. "I am not letting go of you. I promise it."

It might have been easier to believe him, if she had not tasted the desperation on his lips, as he kissed her then. Still, she did not protest, when he hefted her up on the kitchen counter, nor did she stop him, when he started to push up the summer dress she was wearing, instead wrapping her legs around him and drawing him closer.

She woke up hours later on her bed, the setting sun over the sea telling her she had been asleep a lot longer than she had planned. Looking over she realized that Masir was awake as well, an unreadable expression on his face, as he watched her.

"You should have woken me up," she murmured.

"Mmmh," he smiled softly,"you needed the sleep. After all you did not get that much last night."

Briseis grinned. "And whose fault is that?"

Reaching for her comms and reading some messages from Selene and Elodia, she threw a glance over at him. "The others are going to the Art festival this evening. Want to join?"

The Galatean nodded. "Yeah, why not."

When they made their way over to the Art district, Briseis scrutinized him unobtrusively. Outwardly, everything between them was okay again, but she could feel a tension in the air that had not been there before. She nearly sighed, as she took in his uniform. There was no way anyone could miss the fact that he was a member of the First Order. And since her mother was a prominent member of the ninth house and deeply involved into the festival's preparation she would be there as well.

Waving at Elodia, Mitaka, Samara and Shima, when she saw them near the entrance, they made their way over to them. "Where is Selene?" she asked Shima, after greeting them all.

He shrugged and grinned. "Caught up in some freaky game of hot and cold with Hux." He motioned to her friend, who was dancing animatedly near the stage and then to the General, who was in discussion with one of the Council members, although his eyes were glued to his Co-Commander.

Shima raised an eyebrow. "Want to bet how long it takes until he snaps?"

"Stars no," Briseis shuddered," I will stay far away from that mess."

"Do you want to get something to drink?" she asked Masir. As they walked over to a beverage stall, she saw another stall selling chocolate fruits. "Oh, we have to get those, they are delicious." Laughing at her enthusiasm the Captain went over and bought her some. Popping one chocolate covered grape into her mouth immediately, Briseis sighed in delight. She took a strawberry and raised it to Masir's mouth. There was more than a little heat in his eyes, as he ate it, letting his tongue swirl around her finger provocatively.

"So you did find you way here after all," Zenia noe Shi'seko's voice made her daughter freeze in something not unlike horror. Briseis felt her cheeks turn red, as she quickly stepped back from the First Order Captain. Blast it, that was not how she had wanted her mother to find out about him. Her ash blonde hair cut razor straight at her shoulders, the regal structure of her face somehow fitting her rather hawkish nose, Zenia had always cut an impressive figure. Now her face showed mostly disapproving surprise. "And who might the young man be?"

Briseis swallowed. "Oh, sorry. Captain Trach, my mother, Zenia noe Shi'seko." She saw something flicker in Masir's eyes at the formal introduction. "Mum, Captain Trach is my…mmh colleague on the Finalizer. He is the wing leader there. I am showing him the city today."

"Nice to meet you, Ma'am." The Galatean's wide smile wavered more than a little at the glacial look on Zenia's face, as he shook her hand.

"I see," her cool blue eyes scrutinized him, taking in the First Order uniform, before returning to her daughter. "Well, if your duties allow it, the family is at the usual spot. Everyone will be happy, if you come over for a while." Alone, her tone indicated. "Captain Trach," with a last nod, she turned around, mixing with the crowd again.

And leaving Briseis to stare after her in dismay.

"You should have warned me that you wanted me to remain your little First Order secret. I could have played the role of your … colleague a bit better then," there was definitely anger crackling in Masir's voice. As she looked at him, she was not surprised to see it flashing in his eyes as well. "I am sorry. I did not want to… "

"You did not want to make me feel, as if you are ashamed of being together with me? Save it, Brie, it's already too late for that," with those words he walked away from her, returning to Mitaka and the others.

Anger both at her mother and at herself burning through her wildly, Briseis made her way over to her family. Barely greeting her aunt and her cousins, she took her mother by the arm. Zenia

raised her eyebrow. "Oh, already lost Captain Trach? That was quick."

"Very funny, Mum!" Briseis hissed. "Would it have killed you to be a little more polite?"

Zenia's face showed not the slightest remorse. "I did not know politeness towards the oppressors of the galaxy was a requirement today."

Before her daughter could explode at that, she went one. "Have you completely lost your mind now, Briseis? Stars, I did not want to believe Atemis, when she said she saw Selene feed chocolate cake to General Hux in the Purple Leaf today. It's always the same. That girl does something completely reckless and irresponsible and you follow her like some fool."

"Is feeding people cake now prohibited, or what?" Briseis growled. Wonderful, now she was starting to defend Selene and Hux.

"She was feeding cake to the man, who destroyed an entire starsystem." Zenia's tone was that of utter condemnation.

"You don't understand. Masir is not like that." The blonde Zi'daya could hear the slight desperation in her own voice.

"He's a good looking man, I will give him that. Obviously, that's enough to excuse a little murder these days." When Briseis shook her head in renewed anger, Zenia touched her arm, her voice showing her concern. "I just don't want you to get hurt. What kind of future does this have, my dear? Are you content to be just a little diversion on a mission for him? Or do you think he will leave the First Order for you?"

"You don't even know him. But that has never stopped you from judging people, hasn't it?" Briseis tried to hold on to her ire, but as awful as it was, her mother's words caused all her doubts to rise up again.

"Well," Zenia's face was solemn. "For your sake, I hope I am wrong. Although that is seldom the case."

---

Masir watched with more than a little trepidation, as Briseis talked with her mother, the two women very obviously arguing. He did not need to be a physic to guess, what the topic of their argument was.

Blast it, today had confirmed all his worst fears regarding Briseis' real allegiances. And if that was not bad enough the way she had nervously tried to conceal their relationship in front of her mother, had been like a stab directly in the heart. He looked around slowly, suddenly not longer in the mood for the lively atmosphere of the festival. As his gaze snagged on Hux, he wondered for a moment, if it was not actually his duty to report to the General. It was after all more than clear that there was something going on with the Zi'daya.

But Hux seemed to be completely preoccupied with glaring at every man, who was dancing with Sa'onserei. Masir would have loved to tell him that perhaps it would be a good idea to just ask her for a dance himself instead, but he still wanted to live, so he refrained.

He glanced over at Briseis again. Stars, she was looking livid, her anger even visible from afar.

"Hey Trach, where did you leave Brie?" Sa'onserei seemed to glow in a pink and white dress decorated with feathers, as she stepped next to him, obviously taking a break from dancing.

"She is talking with her mother," he nodded in the direction. "Who kriffing hates me."

Sa'onserei paused for a moment and then she chuckled to his surprise. "Ah, don't worry. She hates me as well."

"What?"

"Oh, yes. She once told me it would be entirely my fault, if her children end up in an early grave. She thinks I'm completely irresponsible and a bad influence on Brie and Khendrik." Her expression turned pensive. "I can't even blame her for it. There were a few things we did when we were younger…" She sighed. "I probably should not have dragged them with me and my brothers through half the galaxy, trying to avenge our parents. It's fear, you see. She is deeply afraid she will lose them as well."

Masir threw a curious look at her. Briseis had never mentioned that part of her past. "That sounds like quite the story, Commander."

Sa'onserei smiled at him with something between amusement and embarrassment. "Ah, I think it is quite okay, if you call me Selene. After all you and my best friend are an item." She blushed a little. "And she told me about the hangar…"

The Captain felt heat rise on his cheeks as well. "Ahem, of course." He coughed. "And I did not really see all that much…"

"Mmmh," Selene's expression told him, she knew he was only polite. She glanced over to Briseis again. "Oh, now she has done it."

"Done what?"

Selene scoffed. "Zenia has an unrivaled ability to anger her daughter to a point, where she will do exactly what she does not want her to do just to prove something."

And indeed Briseis was coming over to them again, the pale blue summer dress she was wearing flowing around her legs with her agitated stride.

There was more than a little wildness in her turquoise eyes, as she grabbed Masir's hand and dragged him to the dance floor, not even giving him any opportunity to protest.

He noticed the music had changed, the rhythm a lot more sensual than before. Briseis put her arms around his neck, her body moving against his quite provocatively. Despite trying to hold on to his annoyance with her, his hands went around her waist nearly automatically, her touch holding an allure he just could not resist.

She looked up at him, genuine remorse visible on her face. "You have every right to be mad at me," she murmured. "I know it's no real excuse, but I actually panicked a little. I mean, I knew how Mum would react and when she suddenly turned up like that…"

Masir sighed, his anger already cooling down. "So I guess she is no fan of the Order?"

"No, not really," Briseis frowned, but then she suddenly grinned at him. "But then she is no fan of a lot of things." She moved her hip against his and let herself fall back, her hair fanning out behind her. She laughed at his breathless gasp. "And I won't let her ruin this."She winked. "I know what a lucky girl I am after all."

"A lucky girl?" Her hands went into his hair. "Oh yes, really lucky."

She kissed him then, her tongue tangling with his wildly. He might have lost all awareness of his surroundings at that point, drowning in her taste, desire blazing through him. When he finally looked up again, he realized with a start that somehow his hand had found its way to her leg, rising it up daringly against his hip. Even amidst the quite open Zi'daya, they were garnering a few amused glances.

Briseis stepped back and gave him a cheeky smile.

Before he could say anything, a good-looking blonde picked her up with an excited squeal of "Brie!" twirling her around. Since Briseis laughed loudly in joy, he surmised she knew him and decided to use the little break to get a grip on his turbulent emotions.

When he returned to the others, General Hux, the expression on his face showing, he was not at all amused by his officer's behavior, stopped him. Wonderful, the Galatean thought, now he will probably take his annoyance with Selene out on me.

"It might have slipped your mind Captain Trach, but there is still a regulation 321b in the First Order. Not to speak of proper conduct in public."

And like so many times before Masir could just not stop himself from snapping back at his superior, despite knowing he would only make it worse, his frustration with the whole situation making him careless. "Oh really, because I am the only one here violating that regulation." He scoffed. "At least I have enough sense left to take certain activities to my quarters and not use a public hangar."

Those piercing green eyes narrowed at him dangerously, the icy tone of Hux' voice making the Captain shudder in sudden fear. "What did you just say?"

Stars, had he really thought Selene had softened Hux? He swallowed hard, waiting for the General to really tear into him now.

But Hux was suddenly not longer looking at him, concentrating instead on something behind him, the expression on his face showing barely constrained fury.

Masir slowly turned around, not wanting to risk getting his attention again.

He immediately saw, what had incensed the General. Selene was dancing with the good-looking blonde that had greeted Briseis so enthusiastically earlier. If you could call that dancing. Although it fitted the wild music, it looked more like grinding their hips together, Selene's hair flying around every time he dipped her.

"Ah," Captain Khi'sheko had joined them with his wife. "I did not know Leander was back again on Ellesmee. Probably already for the Midsummer Festival." He threw a look at Masir. "He is one of Briseis' many cousins."

So that was, why she had been happy to see him. "What is he doing?"

"Ah, well. Export, Import." Khi'sheko laughed. "You get my drift." Meaning he was basically a smuggler. Khi'sheko tilted his head, as if contemplating something. "Mmmh, I did not know there was something going on between him and Selene again." By now Briseis' cousin had bent Selene back dramatically signaling the end of the dance, his lips gliding over her neck.

"Going on?" Although he did not look over to them, Hux finally joined their conversation, his voice more than a little rough.

"Oh yes, they were an item for some time." There was a suspiciously innocent look on the Zi'daya Captain's face, as he scrutinized the General for a moment. "Although it was never exclusive."

"Exclusive?" Masir really hoped Hux did not believe that tone was in any way conveying indifference or his next meeting with High Command was definitely doomed.

"Oh yes, you know, if you have a casual relationship and both parties are allowed to sleep with other people as well," Khi'sheko explained very helpfully.

That little information was obviously the last strain on the General's control, because he suddenly marched over to his Co-Commander without even saying goodbye to them.

"Shima! You know as well as I do, that was years ago. Selene is not interested in Leander at all,"

Khi'sheko's wife complained, as they watched Selene trying to calm down an agitated Hux, finally giving up and dragging him towards the entrance.

Her husband was nearly doubling over in laughter by now. "Sorry darling, that was just too easy." He shrugged. "Don't worry, I am sure Selene will thank me at some point."

"I sincerely doubt that. It will only get her into a lot of trouble with the Council, if anyone noticed." His wife shook her head and went over to Elodia and Briseis.

Khi'sheko looked at Masir. "You are not going to tattle on me, aren't you Trach?"

The Captain thought about the way Hux had admonished him just a few minutes earlier and grinned. "No, definitely not."

The brown-haired Zi'daya laughed and patted his shoulder. "Good man!" He glanced at Briseis for a moment. "So you and Brie." He smiled broadly. "You know I actually think you are good for her."

Masir looked over at her as well. "She is a hell of a woman."

Khi'sheko leaned closer to him, still smiling, and murmured. "That she is. And I love her like a sister. So if you ever hurt her, just be aware that I will gut you like a ghest," he winked and patted his shoulder again, before going over to his wife, kissing her and dragging her to the dance floor.

Masir took a deep breath. This evening was turning into a little too much drama for his liking.

"Oh stars, finally you are alone," he glanced up to find a nervous looking Dopheld Mitaka next to him. "I really need your help, Masir."

"With what?" Taking in the worried expression on the Lieutenants face, the Galatean began to fear that it was something serious.

"It's about Elodia." Glancing over at the pretty aide, a faint blush appeared on Mitaka's face. "You know that she and I… I mean we are kind of a couple."

Masir smiled. "Yeah, it is kind of hard to miss. But what is the problem? I thought you talked with her about that whole assassin thing and that was all in the past."

"Mmmh, that is not the problem no." Mitaka stared at the ground, avoiding the Galatean's eyes. "It is just we are getting really close to each other. And I think she wants to… I mean I am not sure what she wants, but I really thinks she wants to… you know…"

Masir laughed. "She wants to get naked with you?" He winked. "Well, I would say go for it."

Mitaka sighed, took a deep breath and said without pause. "ButIhavenotsleptwithawomanbeforeandIreallydonotknowwhattodo."

His friend stared at him, needing a moment to even process what he said. The Lieutenant's eyes narrowed. "And if you laugh now I am never going to talk with you ever again."

Masir slowly counted to three in his head, telling himself that any amusement would only hurt his friend now. "Mmh, no of course not. I mean there is nothing wrong with that. You kind of waited for the right girl, he?"

"To be honest the opportunity just never came up. I do know the basics of course. I even read a manual I found…"

"Dopheld, to be frank? That topic is a little bit like flying a TIE. All manuals in the world can't really prepare you for the real deal," the Captain nodded sagely. "There just comes a moment where you have to jump into the cockpit and take a dive."

"Jump into the cockpit…yeah I think I got it." Mitaka looked over at Elodia again, his face turning nervous again. "Do you think it might be possible that she also…I mean perhaps…"

"Sure it is theoretically possible." Masir watched, as a Zi'daya guy stepped up to the aide, asking her to dance. "How long did you say she lived here?"

The Lieutenant blinked his big brown eyes. "Oh stars…"

Masir decided to have mercy on him. "You want my advice? Just talk with her about it. Being honest is the best option."

But as he saw Briseis' mother and her cousin standing on the side with their friends, their eyes condemning, as they watched them, he realized that might not always be the case.

---

Selene groaned softly, as she turned one more time on the bed, flinging her arm over her face to keep out the morning light. Her body feeling deliciously heavy she definitely still lacked the necessary energy to deal with the fact that she would probably be late for the planned breakfast with her grandmother … and she was in the wrong room again.

Very slowly, she opened one eye to a slit, searching for the man responsible for her predicament. She blinked in slight confusion at finding the space next to her already empty. But now that she was a bit more awake, the sound of the shower reached her ears.

For a second, she felt a little disappointment that Armitage had not asked her to join him, before she chastised herself. Hadn't she slipped up enough yesterday without running to him eagerly directly after waking up?

Perhaps it was quite fortunate that she had a few moments to herself to sort out her feelings.

Selene sighed, sitting up on the bed, the sheets still draped around her naked form. After their little tryst at the seaside tower, the realization that their relationship was turning much more emotional than was advisable had been weighing on her mind. Her own words that he could make love to her every night had haunted her, their implication that she desired something far beyond the physical from him only too clear.

She bit her lip. And it was true, wasn't it? She yearned for his touch, but she also wanted to know his thoughts, share his confidences and light the shadows on his face. She wanted him. Her Co-Commander with his sharp mind and his unexpected humor and that smile that seemed to be reserved just for her.

However, she was still the heir to the Zidan system and he was still a General of the First Order. The man responsible for Starkiller base. There were icy winds howling in the chasm between them, it being too wide to ever be bridged.

She closed her eyes. And she could never ever have him.

Selene had tried to put some much needed distance between them on the festival, but that plan had backfired spectacularly, hadn't it? She made a tormented face, as she detected her dress on the floor in front of the bed, the way a whole trail of feathers led to the room's door telling quite the story about last night's conclusion. She could only hope Samara would not be too upset about the wrecked garment.

Hux had ripped it off her last night without any care for the delicate material, as they had stumbled into the room, both caught up in a whirlwind of conflicting emotions, desire and anger on the forefront.

When he had finally snapped, after she had ignored him for hours, and hissed at her that they needed to talk, she had known instantly that this was not a discussion for the public. She had still been surprised by the way he had pressed her against a wall and kissed her passionately the very moment they had stepped out of the lights of the festival and into a darkened ally.

Not for long so, his eyes flashing even in the half-light, as he had inquired, if she honestly expected him to be okay with their arrangement not being exclusive. Laughing in incredulity at the absurdity of the question and asking him, if he really thought she had the time and energy for double that drama had probably been not her wisest idea.

"Just be aware that I don't share," he had basically growled at her, "at all," before his lips had descended on hers again forcefully.

That had been the moment, in which she realized they would not be returning to the festival, even if their abrupt departure would definitely sent the rumor mill running.

They had both held on to the vestiges of control inside the shuttle she had flagged down to get them back to the palace and on the way to his rooms, but the tension had sizzled between them. She annoyed that he thought he could lay any kind of claim on her, he very obviously more than a little jealous.

Selene had been of a mind to just leave him at the door of his room, but he had immediately dragged her inside and then…

Then her Co-Commander had been a man on a mission and that mission had obviously been to drive her insane with need. She blushed a little, as she remembered how she had writhed and moaned on the bed in utter abandon, as he had pleasured her again and again. One memorable time she might have even cried out his name quite loudly, as he had pounded her into the mattress, the bed knocking against the wall, her fingernails scratching over his shoulders wildly.

Stars, she really hoped the guest room next to them was not occupied.

When he had finally let her sleep, after what felt like hours, she had felt much too exhausted to even protest, as he had put one arm around her possessively, the tone of his murmured "Stay," more an order than a request.

The smug male satisfaction that had flashed over his face here and there had told her that had probably been a grave mistake, if she wanted any boundaries between them to remain standing. Not to mention the fact that she had no idea how to leave this kriffing room without causing a scandal now. How could she have been so foolish?

'Well, you kind of let the man bang out all of your remaining brain cells last night, girl,' a self-depreciating part of her mind whispered. Selene sighed and picked up her comms, she had detected next to the bed on the floor. Time to ask for a favor.

"Elodia, best of aides in the entire galaxy, could you bring me some clothes and matching shoes from my room? And something for my hair?"

There was no way she could step out of the room in that dress, after all. Thankfully, it was not long until her comms blinked with a response.

"Will be there in five minutes. Hux' rooms, I presume?" There was a laughing icon behind her friend's answer, but she would probably have to live with a little of Elodia's ribbing.

The smile on Hux' face, as he stepped out of the bathroom and looked at her, was definitely too self-satisfied for her peace of mind. He was looking unfairly composed, back in his uniform again, not a hair out of place.

"Ah," he came closer to the bed, "you are finally awake," his smile deepened, as he took in the way she was still naked underneath the sheets.

Selene narrowed her eyes at him, not even trying to hide her annoyance with the situation. "You are aware that we are scheduled to have a breakfast with my grandmother in not even twenty minutes? How do you suppose I get there without any clothes?" She threw an accusing glance at the heap on the floor. "My dress seems to have been destroyed miraculously last night."

"I am so sorry for that," the way her Co-Commander's lip twitched in amusement, indicated he was not sorry at all. What was it with all the smiles this morning? Uggh, it was if one night of sexual debauchery had been enough to loosen him up completely. And wasn't that cliché?

What was even worse she found it increasingly difficult to hold on to her annoyance, when he smiled at her like that, soft green eyes shining with genuine – dare she think it? – happiness.

"You want one of my shirts?" Hux asked her, his hand beginning to fiddle with the sheets that kept her covered.

Oh sure, she bet he would love that. Her running around in his shirt. Perhaps she should write 'Property of Armitage Hux' somewhere on her body for good measure.

Blast it, she had to nip those possessive tendencies in the bud or he would use her desire for him to get the upper hand in their relationship permanently.

"I thought we agreed to be discreet about this," she ground out. "Me doing the walk of shame back to my room in a First Order shirt is not exactly that." His hands had by now found her bare skin underneath the sheet, making it somewhat hard for her to concentrate on what she was saying. "I told you before. Me staying here all night is a foolish risk, we can't take. My grandmother…"

"Your grandmother knows exactly, what we are doing," he interrupted her with a raised eyebrow. "Don't have any illusions about it." Unfortunately, she suspected the same. Hearing the assessment from him, made unease rise up inside her. She feared, she needed to prepare herself for quite an unpleasant conversation, then.

"As for last night," Hux leaned closer to her, his lips whispering over her neck. "I had the impression you quite thoroughly enjoyed, how I made love to you."

Her eyes flickered to his, him using her words from yesterday making her tense up. She would have been able to sum up some righteous anger, she thought, if what she found on his face had been in any way a smug expression. Instead, it was a nearly boyish elation that shimmered in his clear green eyes, slight insecurity mixing in, when she did not react to his comment right away.

It made something inside her go all soft and warm towards him. He would need to be more careful with the sun today, if he did not want to burn, she noted absentmindedly, as she took in the slight color on his nose and cheekbones. There were even two or three cute new freckles there.

"Armitage," she murmured, trying to hold on to the rest of her sanity, "you know I did. But…"

A sharp knock on the door saved her from saying anything completely unwise.

When Hux looked over in slight surprise, she pulled the sheets up around herself again. "That's Elodia with my clothes," she explained.

"Mmh, then it seems you found a solution after all. I will check up with my crew in the meantime," her Co-Commander made no immediate move towards the door though, but instead bent forward to claim her lips in a tender kiss. Wait, were they kriffing doing goodbye kisses now?

When the kiss started to become more intense and his hands began to wander again, she finally summed up enough resolve to put her hand to his chest and move backwards.

"You have to let her in," she commented.

"Of course," with a last lingering look down on her breasts, he moved towards the door.

Selene had to suppress a chuckle at seeing him blush slightly, when Elodia greeted him with a cheeky "Good morning, General," a grin on her face, as she stepped into the room. It seemed he was not as nonchalant about this, as he had pretended after all.

"Miss Brentiss," he nodded one last time in Selene's direction. "We will see each other at the breakfast, Commander."

Elodia gave her friend a very amused look, after he had vanished through the door. "I do hope he does not also call you Commander in bed," she laughed.

"Stars, no," the Zi'daya heir shook her head with a slight eyeroll. "He probably thinks it is improper to call me by my first name in front of you."

Her aide raised her eyebrow, starting to pick up the feathers on her way to the bed, finishing with the destroyed dress. "Because there is a plausible, innocent explanation for this and the fact that you are butt naked underneath that sheet that doesn't involve you two screwing each other's brains out last night?"

She placed a cloth bag on the bed next to Selene. "I brought you a dress, shoes and some cosmetics." She tilted her head at Selene. "But first you will have to shower. There is no way to tame your hair into anything resembling civility otherwise."

Selene sighed and finally clambered out of the bed, letting the sheet fall down. Elodia followed her inside the bathroom. There had never been any false modesty between her and her friends.

The Zi'daya heir had to suppress a groan, as the hot water of the shower cascaded over her body. Blast it, there were muscles hurting in her body, she had not even known existed. She would have loved to draw this out. Unfortunately, she was pressed for time, so she went through the task of washing her hair quite efficiently.

"So," she asked a few minutes later, stepping out of the shower and toweling herself dry," how noticeable was it that we left together?"

"Mmh," Elodia was leaning against the room's tiled wall, a cute black and white dress with a bow in the front hugging her form. "You want the reassuring answer or the truth?"

Selene gave her a look. "Now you have already worried me."

"Well," her friend passed her clothes over to her and she started to put them on, the comfortable, pale blue dress one of her favorites. "Leander was searching for you, after you left with Hux. And he wondered quite publicly where you might have vanished to."

"And you don't think that was a coincidence?"

"Zenia and her friends were latching on that little titbit like some vultures." Elodia's dark eyes held a lot of irritation. "I swear, if I have to listen to one more story about some incredible nice person they knew on Hosnian Prime I am going to scream. That planet was inhabited by saints it seems. Briseis was furious."

Selene sat down on a little stool in front of the mirror and started to dab on some concealer on the slight shadows under her eyes. Her gaze met her friend's for a moment. "They are not wrong, you know."

Elodia stepped behind her and began to untangle her hair. "I know that. It's the self-righteous tone that drives my crazy. Obviously we are accused of consorting with the spawns of pure evil."

Selene rubbed her temple in dismay. She could already imagine what Zenia's faction would have to say about this in the next council meeting. The vote for First Order support in the council had been a close one.

Her aide's fingers were skillfully braiding her hair, her dark eyes holding a curious gleam, as she watched her in the mirror. "So what is going on between Hux and you?" She laughed." Besides the obvious, of course."

Selene let her fingers trail over the basin in front of her, trying to decide what to say. "I wished, I knew. I mean the sex is phenomenal, but apart from that… " she trailed off.

Elodia sighed. "Oh, I envy you."

Selene threw a surprised look at her. "I thought you and Mitaka had overcome that whole thing about your past."

"Yes, but it is all very proper between us. We kiss and that's it. I mean I tried a few times to take it a step further, but it is, as if he is still unsure."

The fair Zi'daya shook her head slightly at her friend's obvious insecurity. "Don't worry, he is completely into you. He is probably just very shy."

Elodia smiled. "But back to you and the General. I can tell you he was more than a little jealous yesterday, when you danced with Leander. Might have something to do with Shima telling him that the two of you were an item once."

"What?" Selene stared at her, "that was years ago. And not for very long."

"Oh yes, I thought he would explode, when Shima mentioned it was very casual and not exclusive."

"Stars, so that was, where he got that ridiculous notion from." She had wondered about that.

Elodia's grin turned downright naughty. "And I guess he made sure, you know what you will be missing, if you ever end things with him."

"If I had any sense left, I still would. This is turning a lot more complicated than it is advisable." Selene turned to her friend, biting her lip. "As awful as it is, I am starting to care a lot more than I should."

"Is that really so awful?" Elodia touched her shoulder in support. "Have you ever considered he might have some feelings for you?"

"You do know, who we are talking about? Armitage Hux, General of the First Order? The man behind Starkiller? I sincerely doubt he ever had any feelings for anyone in his whole life." Selene tried to ignore the whispers in her head telling her she knew that was not true and shook her head. "He may feel some kind of possessiveness towards me, but that's all. Probably, because he has cooked up some twisted fantasy in his mind with him ruling the galaxy and me as his mistress. That is how the other Generals all do it, isn't it? Marry some proper Imperial chick and keep the girl they like to fuck in some fancy property on the Core Worlds."

"Because you would be such prime material for that role." Elodia's eyes were pensive. "Are you sure you don't just want to believe that, because of what it might mean, if the opposite was true? What I can tell you is, the way he is looking at you, when he thinks no one is watching, is definitely not plain lust. More like you are the most amazing thing he has ever seen and he longs for just one little touch. "

The Zi'daya heir stared at her friend, her words making her heart beat faster against her better judgement. Her mind flew back to all the instances in the last weeks, where she had caught him softening up towards her. The way his eyes lightened up, when she entered a room. How he smiled at her with genuine warmth. The expression on his face yesterday, when he told her he wished this could last.

"It doesn't matter," her voice was flat. "We still have to go through with the plan."

"Do we?" Elodia gave her a solemn look. "You helped me leave the Red Hounds, perhaps…"

"That was different. You had no choice."

"There is always a choice, Sel." Elodia's eyes turned sad. "I could have decided not to kill those people. I just made the choice that my and my family's life were worth more than that of countless others."

"That's not even comparable." Selene's voice shook. "There is no way to overcome this. I've always known, what he has done and since I am foolish enough to care for him despite it, I will have to live with the consequences."

"Selene…"

"What do you suppose is the alternative? That we miraculously get the Finalizer on the side of the Resistance and everything is forgiven and forgotten?"

"And killing off every member of the First Order instead makes us better in what way exactly?"

"They started this war, not us. And after this, the war will be over. There will finally be no need for any more conflicts."

"Well, that's perfect then, isn't it? Who cares about a few sacrifices on the way," Elodia's face was fierce.

"You forget one thing, Elodia. Even if, there was a possibility to get them on our side. I cannot trust him. We cannot trust them."

"Funny. The last time I checked, we were the ones planning to stab them in the back and blow up their ship and not the other way round."

The words hit Selene like a blaster bolt to the chest, making her close her eyes for a moment. She took a deep breath. "I can't do this now. I am already late for the breakfast."

Elodia's eyes flashed, but she finished her hair with a few gestures. "Here, everything done."

When they stepped back into the bedroom, Selene bent down to retrieve the knife Hux had bought her from the floor. As she put it back on her thigh, Elodia whistled. "Wow, nice. Where did you get that?"

Selene could not help a slight blush appearing on her cheeks. "Well,…"

The dark-skinned aide's eyes widened. "Hux gave that to you?" She laughed in slight disbelief. "Honestly Selene, the man buys you a diamond encrusted dagger for stars know how many credits and you still wonder what his intentions are? I don't really think he is dreaming of you becoming his mistress. There are a few societies in this galaxy, where this would count as an outright marriage proposal."

"It was not that expensive…" Selene murmured, feeling a little defensive. She found the idea of permanently wearing something, he gifted to her, a lot nicer than she should.

"You can be such a snob." Elodia gave her an indulgent look, as they made their way to the door. "I am not."

"Yes, you are. It is, because you have been filthy rich all your life. You have no concept of money."

When they arrived in the dining room, everyone else was already present, but thankfully, breakfast had just started to be served.

"Selene, my dear, there you are," her grandmother's smile was wide, as she greeted her with a kiss to the cheek. "Sit here between me and the General."

"General Hux," Selene kept her face carefully composed, greeting her Co-Commander, as if they had not just parted twenty minutes ago. "I hope you had a good night's rest?"

"Very much so, thank you Commander," Hux' voice was equally polite.

Oilena scooped a few colorful fruits on her plate, scrutinizing the two of them with an innocent expression on her face. "Well, you both have such a nice color on your faces. It seems yesterday's activities have done you some good."

"What?" Against her better judgement, Selene could not help the slightly panicked tone in her voice.

"You were showing the General our wonderful city and the beach, were you not darling?" Her grandmother's smile had turned a little predatory. Blast it, Selene thought, Hux was right, her grandmother knew exactly what was going on between her and her Co-Commander.

"Yes, of course," she said a bit breathlessly. She was saved again by young Pip piping up, his voice enthusiastic. "Ellesmee is really such a beautiful city. I've never been anywhere so amazing ever before. We were at the beach and there were people there that used some wooden boards to ride on the waves…They tried to show me, but I fell in all the time." He laughed good-naturedly.

"Ah, you mean surfing." Elodia smiled at the blonde trooper. "It's not so easy to get the hang on it, but once you do it's real fun."

After that, all the troopers joined in with stories of their day in the city. Selene saw Hux take a deep breath, obviously close to saying something and quickly touched his knee under the table. When he threw a glance at her, she imperceptively shook her head. The animated chatter took the spotlight away from them and really, could he not let the soldiers have a little fun for once?

Some time into the breakfast, her comms beeped with a message from Tay and she frowned. Obviously, he had finally been able to decipher the data from Venya station. But he had added a comment to only bring those up to the Research center, she and Hux trusted.

As she looked up, she saw Hux was staring at his comms as well, obviously reading a similar message from Opan.

"I fear, we will have to go up to the Research center now. Thank you very much for your hospitality, Shue." Her Co-Commander inclined his head in her grandmother's direction and stood up. "Sergeant," he addressed Tank," you and your squad should already start organizing the supplies. Mitaka and Trach, with me."

When Selene tried to get up as well, her grandmother took her arm, leaning closer. "If you would stay a little longer, Selene, there are some things I want to discuss with you. Damaris will fly you up later." The Zi'daya paused for a second, before giving the members of her crew a sign that they should accompany Hux. She knew there was no way to avoid this conversation, so it was probably better to get it over with.

As everyone started to leave, the Shue watched with an appreciating look on her face. "Well, there is something to say about those First Order uniforms." She had switched to Zi'daya. "Especially from behind."

Seeing that Selene was not in the mood to answer to that comment, Oilena stapled her face on her hands, smiling broadly again, her golden eyes glittering.

"So, General Hux," she tilted her head a little. "A very interesting young man, isn't he?"

Selene looked at her grandmother, contemplating how to play this. Confess immediately or deny until the bitter end?

"Interesting, indeed," she murmured after a few moments.

"I know what you did," her grandmother's voice was soft, the words making her heart beat faster, "your brother told me everything."

She was going to kill Tay.

"And while I have to chastise you for your recklessness, it might turn out to our advantage in the end. Even if it will not be easy to get this through the council. I will keep the information from the public as long as possible, but…" Mmmh, what? Selene stared at her, completely at loss what to say.

"Trilla is a useful ally to have and if you get that defense system to work…" Oh, she was talking about the mining station. Selene suppressed a relieved sigh and met her grandmother's gaze. "I am not so sure about that. The people we lost…"

The Shue took her hand and pressed it for a moment. "I know. But as terrible as it is, I fear the General is right with his assessment that we are no random target. This has something to do with Rhea. If it had not been the mining station, it would probably have been another Zi'daya settlement."

Her eyes turned hard. "Whatever they are, they have to be stopped. Could you use the defense system?"

Selene shook her head. "The stability problem remains, I reached some kind of dead-end with all my ideas."

Her grandmother's eyes narrowed at her. "Have you asked General Hux about it? He is good at those engineering things, isn't he?"

Her heir gave her look. "I can hardly ask him to build a weapon for me."

"My dear," Oilena patted her hand and winked." I am sure you will find a way to convince him."

'Sometimes,' Selene thought, waiting for her grandmother to finally address the vermook in the room, 'I really wished she would not include her own family in her games'. But the Shue only continued to smile at her, her expression strangely amused.

"Now, darling" she made a shooing motion, "you should get up there and see what your brother has discovered."

As Selene made her way to the door, her grandmother's voice stopped her one last time. "I never wanted to be one of those leaders, who are unable to let go, you know." Her intense golden eyes were focused completely on her. "I plan to give it all over to you in due time. So it is only prudent that you decide in which direction our people's fate goes." The Shue's face was calm. "And your own."

The words resonated through Selene's head, while she made her way to the shuttle. She did not know, if it had been her grandmother's intention, but much more than her brother's accusations they had been a stark reminder that she had a duty towards her people.

Our people's fate. And your own.

Because there could never be one without the other.

And she realized, as she looked out of the shuttle's window, the familiar view of Ellesmee beneath them, what she, Selene, wanted for herself was at terrible odds with what needed to be done for her people's sake.

For the first time in her life she felt, as if being the heir was a weight on her shoulders that pressed her down, stealing her breath.

She just did not know what to do.

When she entered the meeting room up in the Research center, there were no traces of the turmoil in her heart to be found on her face, though.

"Selene," her brother greeted her, something like excitement shining in his eyes. "I was just explaining that we were able to recover some visuals from the moment of the attack. The audio is abysmal but…" his face turned grave. "what we can see is quite interesting."

"I never doubted you." Selene commented, as she sat down next to Elodia. She could not resist the temptation to needle him a little, though. "I hope Captain Opan was able to help you?"

Tay's eyes narrowed for a moment, but then an amused smile played around his lips. "Very much so, thank you sister." He concentrated on his screen, starting the transmission. "But then I don't have to tell you about our allies surprising skills, don't I?"

Selene blinked a little, as the blue-eyed First Order Captain leaned forward and commented. "It is actually First Order policy to share those skills with the less fortunate out there in the Galaxy in order to help them reach a higher level of development." There was definitely a twinkle in his eyes.

Tay coughed, although Selene was quite sure he only did it to hide a laugh. Oh, she knew that look. It seemed her brother was on the prowl. For a moment, she contemplated, if she should warn Opan, but when she glanced at the First Order Captain, she realized there was a challenging edge to his faint smile. He probably did not need her help.

As the screen started to show the inside of the mining station, everyone stared at it in concentration.

"You did not get anything from outside?" Selene asked.

"No," Tay shook his head," only darkness from one moment to the next. I actually think we were very lucky with that one, it was positioned directly above the action and that is why we see more than just shadows. "

"The action?" Hux inquired.

"You will see." Tay and Opan exchanged a grave look that made unease rise up in Selene.

There was something moving in the background of the screen. The Zi'daya heir frowned as three figures dressed in floor length dark robes moved closer to the camera. Try as she might, she could not see anything under those dark hoods. The only thing she could tell was that they were tall, a lot taller than any human was.

The middle figure raised his or her arm, the long fingered hand eerily white, and hissed something in an unknown language, the words distorted. For a moment, nothing happened, but then one by one, people dressed in the outfit of the miners slowly shuffled closer. Their faces had the same blank look, Selene had seen on them, when they had been in the mining station.

"Stars, that looks like some kriffed up Sith ceremony," Shima's voice was shocked.

"You might be quite close to the truth, Captain." When Selene looked over at Hux, there was more than a little unease on his face. His eyes met hers. "Glad you did not go down there?" he asked. She nodded faintly. Blast it, she did not want to think about the fact, how close they both had been to death on this day.

By now, the first person had reached the dark robed figures. And then two things happened at once. The figure in the middle threw back its hood, revealing its face and with a sharp gesture of its hand the miner, a stocky middle-aged man, was released from whatever spell he was under.

Selene's heart felt, as if it would jump out of her breast, as she saw the terror on his face. For a second his captor's face did not look monstrous at all, dark liquid eyes and elegant, lean features, their expression nearly tender beneath the gleaming, hairless head, as he regarded the man in front of him. But then the eyes began to swirl with the same darkness Selene had seen in Pa'lenna's eyes, his mouth suddenly opening wide like a maw. The pleasant expression transformed into one of such terrible hunger, that she felt a primal fear go through her. Shadows writhed around the miner dragging him closer, the man whimpering, obviously too afraid to cry out.

Then glowing blue lights flashed between them, the victim's body shaking like a leaf in a storm, as he was rising up from the floor, suspended in the air by an invisible force.

The look of intense pleasure on the attacker's face made nausea rise up inside the Zi'daya heir.

"Stars above," Elodia's whisper interrupted the silence in the room, everyone transfixed by what happened on the screen.

As the man dissolved into flecks of dust, drifting up into the air, and the other two figures lowered their hoods as well, calling a victim closer to them, Tay paused the transmission. His voice was deliberately unaffected. "It goes on like that for perhaps an hour. Then there is a change in their behavior…"

"Trach, Mitaka, if you breathe even a word of this to anyone, it is straight out of an airlock." Her Co-Commander's icy voice made Selene stare over at him in disbelief. His face was completely pale and the way his gloved hand had seized the edge of the table in a death grip, showed her he held on to his control by a thin thread. It seemed she did not even need to ask him, if her theory about Snoke had been right. The truth of it was written all over his face.

"What?" Masir seemed more incredulous than frightened by his superior's threat. Briseis threw a worried glance at him.

"As I wanted to say, there is a change in the behavior around the one hour mark…" her brother continued, as if he had not been interrupted, shuffling his notes around. The view on the screen showed the same three figures, but now a glass container had appeared next to them. When they drained their victims now, shining blue pearls began to slowly flow inside the container.

"I was right," Selene murmured absentmindedly, the truth still too shocking to really register.

"It seems you were right about a lot of things," Armitage's voice was hoarse and when she looked over at him, she saw an abject horror in his green eyes, his pupils blown wide. Noticing his hand tremble slightly on the table, she had to fight the urge to go to him immediately.

Kriff, this was affecting him deeply. But then she thought back to the day on the Finalizer he had told her about his time with Snoke. Even then, it had been clear it had completely terrified him. In addition, seeing the same thing that happened to him play out on the screen in front of them, must bring back all those memories. She needed to interrupt this.

"Ah yes, the theory that those are force users." Tay seemed quite oblivious to the General's reaction. "It holds a lot of merit. We also analyzed the blood you got from Trilla and while it does not match with any known species, it does show the same distinctive markers the Jedi all had. Only in a lot higher concentration. Now that is no proof, but…"

"Who has seen that footage?" Her Co-Commander's voice was still rough.

"Only Sa'onserei and me." There was a peculiar expression on Opan's face, as he answered his superior, nearly accusing. "We sent everyone else out, when we realized we found something."

"You don't have to wonder. That theory about it being force users is correct," the look on Hux' face was defeated.

Tay opened his mouth, but Opan beat him to it. "He was one of them, wasn't he?" Selene was a little surprised. She had expected that kind of challenging tone from Masir, but not from the calm and collected Information officer. But then all of this must be quite the shock for the First Order members. "Snoke."

"Yes," her Co-Commander stared at the table in front of him, his eyes slightly unfocused.

"And you knew that?" Now there was real anger crackling in Opan's voice. The Zi'daya at the table remained quiet, transfixed by the unfamiliar drama between their allies.

Hux finally looked up at his officer, his face more troubled than Selene had ever seen it. "No, I didn't. Not until now." He threw a glance at her. "I mean Selene and I suspected after the Victorinox, but…"

"And you judged it more prudent to share that information with her than your own officers."

Ooch, Selene flinched. To her surprise the General let the insubordination completely slide, just looking at Opan for a moment with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Wait," Mitaka's voice was disbelieving. "that means the Supreme Leader was actually a member of that race of … life sucking aliens?"

"Well," Masir gave a sarcastic laugh, "that explains, why he always left all public appearances to you."

"Mmh," Shima cleared his throat, clearly reluctant to interrupt the tension between the First Order members in the room. "Not to be disrespectful. But how could you not have noticed this for years?"

Hux drew his hand through his hair. "There is the very likely possibility that he used some kind of mind control on High Command. There are some instances where I remember feeling some kind of doubt, but then he always…" he trailed of, obviously lost in his memories.

"Oh, then he used his powers on you as well? That's interesting." There was more than a hint of curiosity on Tay's face, as he looked first at the General and then on his notes.

"Tay," Selene tried to interrupt, suspecting, where this was going.

"Because we still don't know how they do that feeding thing. Is it only the life force or something else? Did he also feed on you? Mmmh, that would mean they don't necessarily have to kill to feed." Completely caught up in his theories, Tay started the recording again, at a point, where a doomed miner was writhing in obvious pain in front of his captor.

Selene's eyes flicked to Armitage. As she had feared, his face had turned deathly pale again, his eyes fixed on the screen, his breath shallow.

"There seems to be something else. Perhaps the emotions, they seem to enjoy pain and despair…"

"Tay, stop it now." Selene's voice whipped through the room in agitation, but in the same moment, her Co-Commander had jumped up from his chair so forcefully that it clattered to the ground. He was out of the door, before she could stop him.

"Armitage!" She jumped up as well, tearing after him.

When she reached the corridor, she cursed. Blast it, he was a lot faster than her with those long legs of his.

After hesitating for a moment, she decided to go outside. That was the most probable place after all.

It took her nearly ten minutes of searching along the streets around the center, but she finally found him sitting on that small wall at Nebula square, his eyes unfocused, as he stared down at the city.

"Hey," she carefully sat down next to him. For long seconds Armitage did not react, but then she saw his jaw clench.

"You must think me incredibly weak…" he murmured, without meeting her eyes. "First I let this monster manipulate me for years and then I can't even talk about it without losing it." He swallowed hard. "It's pathetic."

"No, it isn't." she put her hand on the side of his face, trying to get him to look at her, but he resisted. "Selene, please not." His eyes closed, a shudder going through his whole body.

His breath hissed through his lips slowly.

"I'm afraid." It was barely more than a whisper.

And Selene felt her heart go out to him so wildly, it hurt in her breast. She let her head touch against his softly. "And you think I am not? Stars, I'm terrified."

He finally turned to her then, his eyes opening again. She was not really surprised to see more than a little wetness in them, their normally clear green color misty. Armitage bit his lip for a moment. "It is just … I know exactly how it feels like. To have those things tear into your mind. To have your whole self drained out of you. And I…I am not sure I have the strength to face that again."

She let her hand trail over his cheek, not dropping her gaze. "You are a lot stronger than you think." When he scoffed, she shook her head. "You faced one of them countless times and your still here. That is more than anyone else can say. Don't sell yourself short."

Her Co-Commander took a deep breath, visibly pulling himself together. "We have to find a way to defeat them." Selene nodded. "I know."

"We still don't know what kind of transport they used to get there. Probably some kind of starship. In addition, we have no idea how many of them exist. I mean, those three are obviously dead, however if they were only a small scouting contingent…"

Selene watched him, as he started to analyze the new information rationally, a reassuring sign that he was all right again. She was trying not to let her horror that there might be a lot more of those creatures out there show on her face. For the first time she contemplated, if there was even a way to stop them.

No, she thought harshly, looking down at Ellesmee, failure was not an option.

Rhea had done it somehow. And so would they.

As another question crossed her mind, she glanced at Hux again. "Can I ask you something?" she said hesitantly.

"Yes, of course."

"You mentioned that you think that Snoke used some kind of mind control on High Command. Does that mean…I can't help asking myself, if your decisions in that time…"

Hux turned very still, a coldness returning to his expression that she had not seen there in a long time, when they were alone. "If my decisions in that time were my own." Those green eyes met hers, their gaze more than a little piercing again. "Or to be more precise, if it was me, who decided to use Starkiller Base."

"Yes," Selene knew, it was probably not entirely fair to ask this now, when he was clearly vulnerable, but part of her had to know. Even if they had never talked about the fact that he had destroyed a whole starsystem in the name of the Order, it remained a shadow between them. And the more she cared for him, the more it haunted her mind.

"I fear I will have to disappoint you," her Co-Commander's voice was cool. "That decision was entirely my own. Snoke was even against it at the beginning." He gave a sardonic laugh. "He probably bemoaned all the missed victims for him and his kind."

"But why?" Selene heard the nearly pleading tone in her own voice. She needed to get to the bottom of this. Because, if there was no understanding on his part how terribly wrong this decision had been, no remorse for all the lives that had been lost, there was no way she could really feel…

"It was a purely strategic decision," there was a lot of tension on Hux' face, as he continued, his eyes never leaving her. It was, as if he was waiting for a certain reaction from her. "While the Order is the mightiest military force in the Galaxy at the moment, we never had even a fraction of the resources the Empire had. If the New Republic would have been able to rally its own forces…It was supposed to be one decisive strike that ended the war at once."

"There were ten billion people in that star system," the words fell between them like hammer blows.

Something flickered in his eyes and he swallowed. "I know. But how many would have died in a drawn out war?" Hux looked away from her, his jaw clenching again. "I weighted the options and made the decision, as protocol demanded. Yes, the casualties are regrettable, but if this war is over, if order is finally reestablished in the galaxy, everyone will have a better life and there will be no need for any more conflicts."

Selene felt something icy go through her at his words. How similar to those she had thrown at Elodia this morning. But didn't every war seem like the last one until the next?

A vicious circle of strike and counterstrike that never seemed to end. And they were caught in the middle of it.

"Don't you feel even the slightest remorse?" she stood up, no longer able to remain seated next to him.

Hux watched her, his green eyes having lost all their warmth, their color reminding her of cold glass. "So," he ground out, "that is it, isn't it? Your morals are finally catching up with you and you are starting to realize what an awful mistake you have made. Letting a monster in your bed."

Selene gasped at that, despair welling up inside her. No, not only in her bed, she feared she was letting him into her heart as well.

And if she had any sense left, she had to end this as long as she still could.

But when she looked at him, she saw the stiff way he held himself, his face an emotionless mask. He had clearly put up all his walls between them.

Because he expected her to turn away from him. Had probably expected her to from the start. Because he actually thought, she was making a mistake.

And that told quite the story about what he thought about himself, didn't it?

She should leave, she realized and not waste her hopes on some minuscule signs that he might be able to change. If she believed in him, she would only be disappointed in the end.

But wasn't that like everyone else in his life had always treated him? As a disappointment? A failure? Who had ever believed in him?

Ignoring the surprised look on Hux' face, as she sat down next to him again, she said

"I told you once before. I have my own opinion. Would you do it again, if you had the choice?"

Something shattered in his eyes then, the cold receding in front of her, being replaced by such a look of vulnerable wonder that her heart clenched. Elodia's words from earlier flashed through her head: 'He looks at you like you are the most amazing thing he has ever seen and he longs for just one little touch'

"No," his voice was very soft. "The result did not justify the means in the end."

Selene had to suppress a sigh. Well, that was not all that much, but she would take what she got.

She raised her eyebrow and changed the topic for the time being. "You were very adamant that nobody should find out, what Snoke really was."

"Mmm," Hux frowned. "I actually thought I could use that information against Ren, but it might not be a good idea. Opan's and the other's reaction showed me it will probably only cause unnecessary doubts in the ranks."

Selene scrutinized him, feeling that she had to tread very carefully here. It was a little like that time, when she had nursed the Sabercat back to health. Every little step towards progress and trust so hard won, every misstep earning her a bristling snarl. "And what do you feel about it?"

Surely, he had at least some doubts?

"While Snoke was clearly misusing the position of Supreme Leader that does not change the foundations of the Order. They remain true. Through order we will achieve peace in the galaxy. We will just have to concentrate on the fundamental teachings of the Order again."

The General seemed to have caught on to Selene's disbelief, because his eyes turned nearly desperate. "Because if not, then everything I have done is…" and finally she did get a reaction that showed her that he was questioning those teachings a little bit, his hand trembling on the stones next to her, a muscle ticking on his jaw. "It would all have been in vain."

However, it was also clear she would not get him to admit more today. Tank had told her after all how hard it was to even think of breaking rules that had been drilled into you for all your life.

"There is no decision only what duty demands of us." And if there was no decision there could also be no personal responsibility… Stars, even after all this months she had never really understood how insidious the First Order's propaganda really was.

Perhaps she was asking for too much too quickly.

But she had a sinking feeling they were already running out of time.

---

Hux had to suppress a sigh, as Selene got up, saying they should return to the others. Going back to the meeting room and facing his officers and her crew, after his pathetic display of weakness, was the last thing he wanted.

Not to speak of the things he had let Selene see just now. All his doubts and fears out in the open. There was still a big part of him that could not comprehend, why she did not turn away in disgust. "Because she is good. And she cares for you," it was a soft whisper in his mind.

But she shouldn't. The fact had never been more obvious to him than here on Ellesmee. Seeing her homeworld, her people, the way she interacted with them, so full of life and laughter.

He did not belong in her life, was only casting a shadow on her happiness. However,…his mind returned to last night. "Armitage, please I need you," her body underneath his, her fingers in his hair, the way she had begged him for more. Kriff, he was already addicted to that feeling. He could not let go of her even if he tried.

"Do we really have to return?" he asked.

"Mmh," Selene gave him a pensive look. "Actually, after what we found out today, there is something we should check out." She pulled out her comms. "I will just tell the others to resume without us."

She reached out her hand to him. "Come."

After a few minutes of walking, Hux realized they were going to the very edge of the cliff, where Rhea's starship perched.

"You want to visit your ancestor's chapel?" She nodded. "As exhausting, as it will be, we should talk with the Shepherd. There might be something interesting in Rhea's old things."

"Exhausting?

She rolled her eyes. "You will see."

When they stepped into the ship's entrance, the General saw that, while the outside still looked like a star cruiser, the inside had been completely cleared out, only the outer hull remaining. Directly behind the entrance there was a separated area in both directions, obviously holding the graves of the ruling family.

Selene took a deep breath. "If it is okay for you, I would like to pay my respects to my parents. It has been some time since I have been here."

Hux nodded in assent, slowly following her along the corridor. Like in most places of worship, there was a solemn atmosphere in the air and he felt a little like an intruder.

A simple stone plate marked the place, where his Co-Commander's parents were buried, a beautifully painted picture on the wall behind it showing their likeliness.

Elaine noe Sa'onserei and Bertrand y O'sera.

Selene's mother, Hux noted, had shared her daughter's looks, her hair and eyes the same distinctive color, while her husband had slightly darker hair, his face holding a soft smile, as he looked at his wife, who smiled back at him tenderly.

Standing in front of the picture, Selene's face showed a deep melancholy. "Even after all those years I sometimes can't believe they are really gone."

Hux' hand hovered over her shoulder, unsure if she would even want him to touch her in this moment. "You were very close?"

"Yes…although I was not the easiest child to deal with, especially in the last years." Pain flashed over her face. "My last words to them were words of anger. And I always regretted that."

Hux finally closed the distance between them and slowly stroked her back. "I am sure they knew you did not really mean it."

Selene sighed. "You know, I spent years of my life trying to bring the culprits to justice. But…in the end it did not really matter. It did not bring them back." Her eyes hardened. "Although I suspect we never touched the ones, who were really behind it. Just those they paid to do it."

She took his hand and pulled him in the direction of the main room again. It was filled with rows of seats, big windows letting in the sun. Directly in the middle of the wall on the other end another impressive painting was hanging, dominating the whole room.

The General's eyes widened as he took the picture in. It showed a woman in a flowing blue dress holding up a shining stele over her head with both hands, several people around her in various positions of protecting her, the man next to her with a raised blaster. He did not need to ask, who Rhea was. The resemblance between Selene and her ancestor was actually eerie.

"Rhea noe Sa'onserei and her crew." Selene's voice held a slightly weary tone, as she read the words under the picture to him. "And it is in our darkest hours that a lonely guiding star may shine the brightest."

"She looked very much like you." Hux said carefully. Something about that unnerved him quite a bit. If those life-sucking creatures had it out for Rhea, they would have no problem identifying her heir after all.

"Ah, Selene," a jovial voice sounded out behind them, making them both turn around. An older man with an impressive white beard, dressed in a dark blue robe, approached them with a nearly glowing expression on his face. "Finally, how wonderful! Oh, I just knew it would be this year." He beamed at Hux, his blue eyes sparkling. "So you are from off planet, young man? No problem, we are quite tolerant on Ellesmee." He put his arms around both their shoulders. "Now, you are a little late. However, I might be able to squeeze you in that weekend after the Midsummer festival. We actually had a cancellation a few days ago…"

Hux stared at the old Zi'daya, completely flabbergasted. The man did not really think, he and Selene…

"Shepherd!" Selene narrowed her eyes, clear annoyance in her voice. "We are not here for a …" she paused, a flush rising on her cheeks. "Marriage ceremony. We wanted to ask you some questions about Rhea. General Hux and I are only working together."

For a moment, the cheerful expression on the Shepherd's face wavered, before he looked down, one eyebrow rising up at the fact that they were still holding hands.

Selene quickly let go of Hux' hand. "Ahem, we are working very closely together."

"I see," the man's voice was amused. "Well, how can I help you then, my dear?"

"We are searching for information regarding the time before Rhea left the Core Worlds." Selene explained. "I know there was some kind of conflict she was involved in, so anything about that would be useful. Any notes or reports, perhaps?"

"Ah yes, your brother asked about that a few weeks ago." The Shepherd went to a wooden cupboard on the side of the room. "I told him we unfortunately have not much from this time. Rhea kept barely anything from her life, before she defected. But a few days ago I remembered something… there were a few old journals." He pulled out a few old looking books with a frown. "Unfortunately, they are written in some old Core World version of Basic I can't read, so I am not sure that is what you are searching for."

Selene carefully took the books from him. "Can you read that?" She asked Hux.

He threw a glance at the first few pages. "No, only bits. I was not really raised in a Core World family after all." He thought for a moment. "Mitaka may be able to. He is from old Imperial stock."

"Elodia perhaps as well. Her mother was a teacher on Corellia."

The Shepherd cleared his throat. "Now, since those are priceless artifacts from Rhea's time, I would be very thankful, if you did not remove them from the chapel."

Selene exchanged a look with Hux. "And if we would sent you two of our people to have a closer look at those?"

"You want to leave Mitaka and Miss Brentiss here on Ellesmee?" The General asked a little surprised.

His Co-Commander nodded. "We don't have the time to do the research ourselves and I actually have another lead regarding Rhea I want to follow offplanet. We can leave them one of the shuttles with hyperspace capabilities so that they can return to the Finalizer, once they found out more."

After they had gotten the Shepherd's consent and said their goodbyes, the old Zi'daya tilted his head, scrutinizing them with a beatific expression on his face. "You are sure I should not block that weekend for you just in case?" His smile turned very wide. "Or you could have an autumn wedding. I always loved those, so many beautiful colors."

"No, thank you." Selene looked, as if she was close to exploding, as she grabbed Hux' hand and dragged him out of the chapel. "Stars, that man…" she grumbled, as they made their way along the cliff.

"He is probably just concerned about the succession." Hux commented. Somehow, the whole topic rubbed him the wrong way. "Isn't there some kind of pressure on you to continue the line or something like that?"

"What? No!" Selene laughed. "Deacon already took care of that."

But still, she would surely marry at some point. Probably one of her own people. Someone like that dashing smuggler from yesterday. Some passionate Zi'daya guy, who would sweep her off her feet and dance with her under the stars. They would marry and have half a dozen children. And she would forget that he ever existed. Or even worse like that kriffing Hutt had said, she would remember him as a terrible mistake.

"Why are you not married, yet?" the question came out of his mouth, before he could stop it. Because like last night, there was a strange, irrational urge rising up in him to have some kind of claim on her. The mere thought that another man would touch her was unbearable. Blast it, he just wanted her to be his.

The thought burned threw him, steeling his breath away. It was inadvisable, completely impossible and wrong on so many levels, but still an irrefutable fact. He wanted Selene to be his not only for the duration of this mission. No, permanently.

"I am not too old to be still unmarried," completely unaware of the turmoil in his head, the fair Zi'daya scoffed. "But if you must know, there just wasn't any real contender in my life in the last years. My last steady relationship was at university."

She gave him a playful look out of her golden eyes, her lips twitching. "I could ask the same so. No wish to continue the Hux line with some proper Imperial girl from the Core Worlds so far? You must be quite the catch in the First Order. All the other Generals are already married after all."

Hux' answering laugh was a little harsh. "Because that family name is so prestigious. No, same as you, I never met anyone to really consider marriage with. I mean, there was Lieutenant Kandia…"

"Wait," Selene gave him a very curious look, "You had something going on with one of your own Lieutenants?" She whistled. "I did not take you for such a rule breaker."

"It wasn't against the rules." The General felt more than a little defensive. "It is actually allowed, if proper code of conduct is observed."

She giggled. "Let me guess there is some kind of official form for that in the Order." How did she…oh she was making fun of him.

"Very funny."

"So is that Lieutenant Kandia still on the Finalizer? I don't think I met her." It might be his wishful thinking, but there seemed to be a slight edge to Selene's voice.

"No, she isn't and you will probably find the story hilarious. After I promoted her to Captain, she very publicly dumped me. I was already out of favor and she obviously decided to cut her losses. She dropped some nice little hints that it was, because of my unsatisfactory performance in the bedchamber. "

"What?"

"In a way she had not much choice. She clearly did not want to marry me anymore and since everyone knew we had been intimate her reputation would have suffered, if she had not given some explanation for breaking it off."

"Marry her?" His Co-Commander had come to a hold, the curiosity on her face making him a bit uneasy. Why were they even discussing his past relationship like this?

"So you were in love with her?"

"No," he shook his head. "it was kind of expected since I had been sleeping with her for some time and well, she is a commendable officer, so I thought…"

Selene started to laugh. "Stars, you don't really want to tell me you wanted to marry a woman, because she is a commendable officer."

"A lot of successful marriages in the First Order are based on common values and goals…"

"Yeah, you know why normal people marry? Because they love each other."

He scoffed. "At least they think they do."

Selene froze, tilting her head. "Wait, you actually don't believe love exists?"

Only sentimental fools believed in love.

"In my experience most people confuse physical desire or the wish to have some kind of belonging with the feeling…"

"So my parents just had the hots for each other, or what?"

Hux coughed, sensing he was treading on thin ice here. "Well, there might be some exceptions."

"Aha," to his surprise Selene suddenly grinned, obviously deeply amused by something. She flicked his nose. "It's cute." "What?" "How someone so intelligent can be so incredibly dumb."

---

Selene stepped onto the café's terrace next to the river, waving in greeting, as she saw that her brothers were already seated on the secluded table right at the water, they liked to occupy, when they came here.

"Oh, have you finally been able to tear yourself away from your Co-Commander?"

Giving Deacon a kiss on the cheek before she sat down, Tay only received a frown. Yes, she had left Hux and the crew to deal with the supply topics, but she did not think his tone was justified.

"Stars, are you still angry at me?" When Selene just continued to stare at him furiously, Tay sighed. A slightly annoyed expression in his golden eyes, he murmured. "Fine, I was out of line the other night. Satisfied now?" Her middle brother was as bad as she was at apologizing.

Deacon ignored the tension between his two siblings, his face lighting up in joy, as a waiter approached their table with three plates, mountains of waffels on each of them. "We ordered you your usual, Selene," he commented, barely waiting until the plate touched the table until he dug in.

"Is there some kind of starvation on Terenia?" Tay asked with a raised eyebrow. "No," Deacon inhaled another piece of chocolate covered waffle with a blissed out smile on his face, "but I have to share with three growing children at home … and a pregnant wife."

After eating in silence for a while, Deacon finally looked up. "So," there was a twinkle in his brown eyes. "you and Armitage Hux. Can't say that is something I would have expected."

"Tay!" Selene's voice was angry. "Don't look at me." He raised his hands. "I did not tell him. He already knew. But then it is hard not to notice you two eyefucking each other all the kriffing time."

"Mmmh," Selene ate a piece of her own waffle, deliberating what to tell her brothers. Something that calmed them down perhaps.

"It is obviously nothing serious. You know, more like enemies with benefits. No risk of any feelings getting in the way. Brilliant, isn't it?" She resolutely ignored the whisper in her head that while that might have been her original plan that ship had crashed and burned ages ago.

"Enemies with benefits?" Tay gave her a mock amazed nod, then he turned to Deacon, his voice contemplative. "How in the blazes of the universe does she come up with this bantha crap?"

Deacon put a finger to his lips in thought. "Mmh, perhaps we should not have let her fall on her head so often when mum and dad made us look after her as a child."

"Very funny!" Selene scowled at their antics.

"No, really Selene. Let me tell you something. Friends with benefits or enemies with benefits or however you want to call it. It never works. Eventually there are always feelings involved," Tay stole a strawberry from her plate. "And believe me I am an expert on the topic."

Deacon chuckled. "That he is."

Their sister shook her head. "No, I have it completely under control."

"Fine," Tay fixed his gaze on her. "So I guess you never cuddle? Not even after you have done the dirty?" A slightly disgusted expression flitted over his face. "No kisses, when you don't plan to have sex? No reassuring hugs? No deep, understanding conversations? No running after him and holding his hand, when he feels bad?" Selene's mouth opened without a sound coming out. This felt like a kriffing interrogation.

"Stars," Tay shuddered. "Could you please stop that? I think I am going to be sick."

"What?" Selene complained. "I did not say a kriffing word."

"You don't need to. Your face turned all lovey dovey. It's terrible!"

Deacon put down his fork for a moment. "Now, Tay…"

"No," their brother shook his head. "She has done it this time. I mean, I tried to imagine the five craziest stunts you might pull during this mission, Selene. But my brain was definitely not imaginative enough to come up with this level of insanity."

The Zi'daya heir crossed her arms in annoyance at her brother's theatrics. "Aren't you exaggerating a little bit here? It is not as if anything bad happened only because I slept in the wrong bed a few times."

"Oh, then I guess you have already planted the virus and just forgotten to tell me?" Tay's accusing glare caused Selene to squirm slightly on her chair.

"To be honest there was no opportunity yet."

Her brother's eyes widened in utter incredulity. "No opportunity? To get into his quarters? Stars, you are sleeping with the man."

Selene stared at her waffles, a slight blush rising on her cheeks. "But it never happened in his quarters. There was that one time in the training rooms, then his office.. oh and the hangar…"

Tay gagged. "Wait, are you on some kind of messed up mission to desecrate every room on that ship?" He got up. "I lost my appetite." His eyes flashed, as he bent down to Selene one last time. "Plant that kriffing virus, sister."

"He spoke, never to be seen again." Deacon's voice was dry, as he watched him go. After a moment, he peeked at the waffles Tay had left behind. "Do you want those?"

Selene shook her head, more than a little vexed by Tay's words again.

"Don't let Tay bother you, Sel. You know how dramatic he can be." Deacon slid over the still full plate to his place. "What did he do the other night, though? It is rare that he apologizes."

His sister sighed. "He crossed the mum and dad line." Might not be fair to go and tattle to Deacon, but then Tay's words had really hurt her. She could use a little cheering up.

"What?" Deacon's face was angry for the first time. "Stars, what is wrong with him? We never do that. Blast it, he can be such a little shit."

Selene scoffed. "Middle child syndrome. You were the prince and I the cute, little troublemaker; he never got enough attention."

Deacon laughed, but his face turned serious quickly. Despite her joke, he had obviously seen in her eyes that this really affected her. "Hey, you do know that mum and dad would be proud of the woman you have become, don't you?"

"You can't know that." Her voice was barely a whisper, pain constricting her chest.

Deacon softly tugged on a strand of her hair, his brown eyes warm. "Yes, I can. Because I am."

One single tear escaped her then, slowly rolling down her cheek. "You're the best brother in the galaxy, you know?" He smiled, his finger wiping away the wetness on her skin. "I do try."

Something somber flashed in his eyes. "Don't go through with it, Sel." "With what?"

"The plan. It will only bring you unhappiness."

She stared at the river for a moment. "I might not have a choice."

"Are you sure of that? Circumstances have changed, perhaps you need a new plan."

"The Resistance is losing, Deacon. It is the only way to stop the First Order. And as much as I wished it was different. I just can't trust him."

Taking in her brother's skeptical expression, she wondered. "Why are you so supportive of this?"

Deacon shrugged. "I fell in love with a senator's daughter while undercover on a mission to destroy a Black Sun cell. Believe me, I know sometimes we just can't help, what we feel."

"Now, while I do admit I care for Hux more than I should, I would not go so far and call it…"

Her brother interrupted her with a wink. "I was not talking about you." He grinned. "You do know he has feelings for you, do you?"

Selene had to look away, her heart heavy. Yes, but sadly it was not enough.

"This is going to turn out like Corellia." Deacon's next words made her stare at him again, as he mentioned their last mission trying to avenge their parents. He had been against it as well, Mel already pregnant with Taran, but Tay and she had insisted on going through with it. "There are lines that should not be crossed. We did. And innocent people died."

"This is different. I will admit we took that whole revenge thing too far at that point. But this is about survival. And there are no innocents here."

"And who decides that, Sel?" Her brother's face was calm. "Don't play judge, jury and executioner for the galactic senate. No one should. It's going to destroy you."

"The senate is no more. The Resistance…"

"Really? I think you will be surprised how quickly all our old Core World friends will turn up again, after you conveniently took care of the First Order for them."

"Leia would never…"

"Leia is waning." Deacon's voice was sad. "And while Dameron is a nice chap, those vultures will eat him alive."

Selene narrowed her eyes at him. He was not wrong, but… "And you want me to come up with some brilliant plan that somehow solves this whole mess."

He smiled. "You are an intelligent girl, I have a lot of trust in you. The last thing this galaxy needs is another round of death and destruction. We need to remember that no one is a lonely star…"

"And we are all connected blabla… please don't cite kriffing Rhea at me. I so had it with the woman. I mean, she defeats the most evil creatures in the galaxy and leaves us what? Some spaced out advice to love each other and skip happily into the sunset. Really helpful. I can practically feel our enemies quiver in fear."

Deacon raised an eyebrow at her outburst. "Or perhaps Rhea has already given you all the information you need and you are just too blind to see what is directly in front of you."

"What?" but with that last cryptic remark, her brother pulled out his comms. "Mel and the kids are going down to the beach. You're coming with us?"

---

Dopheld blinked tiredly at the book in front of him, the scraggly writing in it blurring in front of his eyes, as he tried to concentrate. Stars, Rhea had an awfully, messy handwriting. While the form of Basic she had used for her notes was actually not that far from today's version, her small, nearly illegible words were a pain to decipher.

He looked over at Elodia, who had just called over the droid they had borrowed from the Research Center, to copy and enlarge a section she found interesting.

"Found something?" he asked.

"Mmh, perhaps." Elodia frowned at the book in front of her. "She is mentioning a few disappearances on this page. So that might be the right book."

They had quickly realized that the books were no actual journals, but more or less a place where Rhea had scribbled down some notes, everything disjointed and not making a lot of sense.

Elodia sighed. "Blast it, it is back to a whole list of food supply on the next page. I suppose the weight of the potatoes Rhea's crew ate in a month is not really going to help us." She rubbed her back tiredly, stretching slowly.

"But it still might be the correct book." Dopheld tried to stay positive.

Elodia gave him a smile, before looking at her comms. "Stars, it is already nearly midnight. We should continue tomorrow. We are not going to solve this in a day."

They had started their work this morning, coming here directly after the others had left for the Finalizer, setting up a small space for research in a separate room of the chapel.

Meeting the energetic Shepherd who cared for Rhea's chapel had been quite the experience Dopheld thought. He had never been asked about his marital status that often in one conversation.

After locking the journals safely away, they left the chapel, Elodia throwing a look at him. "You want to come over to my place? It is not far from here," she smiled. "We could have a nightcap there."

"Yes, sure." Dopheld agreed, but his thoughts raced. Did she really meant only a nightcap? His mind returned again and again to the conversation he had with Masir two nights ago.

Reaching Elodia's apartment, after strolling through the quiet, nightly city, she let them in through the door. She lived on the ground floor, the entrance in a courtyard holding one of the distinctive jacinda trees.

Dopheld noticed the warm colors she had painted her rooms in with a slight smile. It was very much her.

"It is not very big," she explained. "But I like it."

"It is very cozy," he murmured, still not able to get rid of his nervousness.

She told him to sit down on the sofa and got them both a small glass of Corellian brandy. Stripping of her shoes, she snuggled down on the sofa next to him quite comfortably, her head leaning against his shoulder. Taking a sip from her glass, she sighed.

"That was a long day." He made an affirmative sound to her comment, absentmindedly playing with her black locks. She looked up at him with a smile and he could not help himself, bending forward to catch those tempting lips in a sweet kiss. But still, even when he lost himself in her taste, her hands sliding over his arms, pulling him closer, Masir's advice whispered through his head.

After a few minutes of kissing, Elodia let herself slide lower on the sofa, her pull a little more insistent, as she drew him on top of her. There was an excited shimmer in her dark eyes, her breath quick and shallow. "You know, you could just stay here tonight," she whispered.

Taking in the way her breasts were rising and falling under the tight blouse she was wearing, Dopheld felt want curse through him hotly. Blast it, he just had to tell her.

But what tumbled out of his mouth instead was…"I don't think this is a good idea."

Elodia's eyes widened in confusion. "Why?"

Yes, why had he said that? However, it was, as if he was in some kind of panic. "I mean we are not married. Not even engaged. It is not proper…people might think…"

"What? That I am easy to get?" The dark-skinned aide had sat up by now, moving away from him.

"No, of course not." Dopheld began to realize, he had messed this up royally. He needed to make her understand it was only, because he cared for her, that he said those things.

"I just don't want anyone to think you are some kind of …ahem loose woman, because you just slept with a man."

"Loose woman? You mean a whore." Elodia's eyes were icy, when she got off the sofa.

"I fear, you are around ten years too late for those considerations," she ground out, marching towards the door to her bedroom. "Perhaps it is better, if I remove my immoral self from your presence then, to avoid corrupting you."

The sound of the door slamming shut behind her, hit directly into Dopheld's heart.

---

Ahhh, so many feelings ;-)

I would love to hear your thoughts on the newest developments and revelations.

In the next Chapter "Rebel Heart" Elodia and Dopheld will continue their research on Ellesmee while Selene and Hux go on a undercover mission in Resistance friendly territory to find out more about Rhea's past.