31. Weakness
Rating: T
Verse: None. Just my stream of consciousness
Inspiration/Idea: me
"I love you."
Madara held her closer. Sakura rubbed her nose against his pectoral. Normally this was when a return sentence would follow. But with him it won't. No matter. She didn't crave it, not anymore. But maybe she should tell him just that. So that he doesn't feel pressure to try, or gods forbid – pretend something!
"Madara?" She glimpsed up. "It's ok that you don't love me… I… I think that maybe it is better this way… Better for you. Maybe I even prefer that you don't. You said you never loved anyone, and I maybe it was what enabled you to go through all this… All this that you've done with your life… You don't have to start now for me. With the way you are now - nothing can hurt you. And if on the scale there is you staying unhurt and me getting my selfish satisfaction out of you returning my feelings then with all my heart I prefer you unhurt. That's... ok. So, please, don't fall in love with me. I would hate to rip a hole in your armor, to weaken you this way. I love you too much for that. I can live with my love not returned if thanks to it I know you're safe forever. Loving someone is wanting him happy and safe from harm. I'd rather chop my hand off than put you in harm's way."
"I find it very surprising when you worry about my safety… It really isn't that necessary, and definitely needs some getting used to…"
"Does it irritate you? I'm sorry, I cannot help it…"
"Well, I don't want you to worry. But no, it doesn't irritate me. It is rather… endearing. No one did it for a very long time. And rest assured. I don't have many weaknesses."
"Oh, great Uchiha Madara," giggled Sakura, "do you even have one? But that is exactly what I'm talking about. Now you have no weaknesses. I don't want them to appear."
"Where did you get this fixation about love being a weakness?"
"Uhm.. From Sasuke I guess… That's more less his words. It was his motto; he would have carved it on his forehead if he could. When I was younger it was driving me crazy. I wanted to shake him, punch him, smash that idiotic idea out of his head. I think I felt personally offended by it - I was assuming that he would automatically start loving me once he dropped that attitude. Gods, how stupid I was. On so many levels." Sakura cover her face with her palm. Shame was a permanent feature in all her recollections connected to Sasuke.
"But my Sasuke-issues apart," she picked up, "I used to think that not loving someone, not being able to love, was some flaw. Some malfunction in a person. Or at the very best something to be pitied as such a person would miss out on the most important things in life. But being around you has changed my mind. Sasuke always said bonds were weakness. I hated when he was saying that. Everything was boiling in me. With every freaking fiber of my being I wanted to prove him wrong.
You never said that. You just said that you never loved. You never said you were happy or proud about that. You don't provoke me to prove you wrong. And all I feel is acceptance and relief."
"Relief? Why?"
"Because only the one whom you love can really, really hurt you. Your soul, I mean of course. And this way I know I never will. I will never hurt you. And neither will anybody else, because I don't have to worry about someone hurting your body, right? I'm so lucky in this aspect, I still cannot believe how lucky I am... I want to sing and dance in praise to all the gods that I must never fear about you."
AN: So, with this drabble we come to the end of the month. It was a real journey and I'm grateful to all that have joined me for the ride! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did :) Thank you for all the comments, they were truly needed during this marathon!
AN2: There is a voting poll for the favourite story of this collection on my profile. Please, if you enjoyed it, spare me a minute and leave your vote! I really like data, so after me feeding you with stories, please give me some feedback!