"I know the law!" Their suspect finished his long, rambling statement with.
Deeks resisted the urge to groan loudly at it as Kensi rolled her eyes. They heard this far too much when they were interrogating people and only something like ten percent actually used it properly. And this guy was not one of the ten percent.
"Look, do you want lawyer?" Kensi asked, which was unusual considering they normally let the suspects raise that with them. "They will be able to tell you about the laws surrounding this."
Anything to get this guy to stop talking and whining. But the guy didn't take her up on it.
"I don't need no lawyer. I know I'm right."
Deeks sighed heavily. If someone offered you a lawyer you damn well took it. Especially when it involved a federal investigation.
"You're really not," Deeks told him.
Not that that changed the guy's mind. Actually, it made him more smug and stubborn. Never a good combination in a suspect. Well, maybe it was. Made him more likely to slip up. Not that he was going to slip up if he didn't say anything beyond proclaiming that he was right.
Sensing that he was near the end of his tether Kensi thankfully gathered the papers in front of them together and said, "Why don't we give you some time to think your options over."
Yes, yes, perfect idea. Deeks agreed with her wholeheartedly. Anything to get him away from this guy.
Without waiting for a response, the two of them stood up. Deeks almost stumbled in his eagerness.
"Can we please provide suspects with something that educates them on how that law works," Deeks complained as they left the interrogation room.
Sam chuckled at that but had an equally pained look on his face.
"That implies that these guys read."
"Yeah," Deeks said, sitting in the nearest chair. "He's probably one of those guys that try to insist that the Buy one get one half off applies to everything in the store rather than just the socks like it says on the sign."
His teammates just stared at him for that comment.
"What?"
"That was oddly specific," Callen replied.
"Well, it's true," Deeks grumbled, folding his arms, not wanting to provide any further explanation. It was just too frustrating.
"Oh, not this again!" Kensi exclaimed, realisation coming over her.
"You know what he's talking about?" Sam asked incredulously.
Kensi ignored him in favour of giving Deeks an incredulous look. "Are you still hung up on that?"
"It was incredibly annoying and I got so much second-hand embarrassment that I really didn't need!"
That didn't clear up the confusion for Callen and Sam but Deeks, for once, was not in the mood to explain. They looked to Kensi who rolled her eyes.
"Deeks isn't allowed anywhere near the customer service desk again," she said by way of explanation.
"Me? Really?" Deeks demanded, feeling completely outraged. "I'll have you know that I am a model customer. Polite. Courteous. Keep all my receipts. It's other people who are the problem."
"Isn't it always?" Callen muttered.
"Exactly!" Kensi replied to Deeks. "Other people. Who you get worked up over unnecessarily!"
"It's not unnecessarily!" Deeks felt like he had to object. "They were holding everybody up! Over a misread sign despite it being in big bold letters!"
Come on! The sign hadn't even been trying any of the sneaky tactics of saying the "Buy One Get One Free" in massive letter with the "only applicable to socks" in tiny writing. Nope it quite clearly said "Sock Sale - Buy One Get One Free". How on earth did anyone think that that applied to everything in the store? And what was the point in arguing with a poor cashier over it? It wasn't like they could change the prices! But no, the lady decided that she needed to vent all of her anger right there and then and they'd all had to watch and listen until security dragged her out.
"Getting back to the matter at hand," Deeks said, not wanting to relive that painful memory. "Do we get this guy a lawyer?" He nodded at the screen that was displaying the interrogation room.
"Technically, he doesn't want one." Callen pointed out. "In fact, he quite clearly said that he didn't need one."
"But he very clearly does need one."
Callen shrugged. "He passed on it so we can't be held accountable."
Kensi gave him a doubtful look. "Does it work like that? We don't want him getting off on a technicality."
The man was responsible for at least a dozen Marine deaths and was going to be the cause of a lot more if they didn't get an admission from him soon. They all turned to look at Deeks.
Seriously, just because he had been a lawyer did not mean he knew every single law... okay maybe it did.
"It's all recorded so we're off the hook," he said with a shrug.
It wasn't like they had coerced or tricked him into not wanting a lawyer. They had actually point blank asked him. It was his problem if he refused their kind offer. Kind for them anyway so they didn't have to hear him talk anymore.
"What about locking him in a room with a load of mirrors for company?" Kensi suggested. "He could spend his days talking to himself."
"Nah, this kind of guy needs people to listen to him," Sam said critically. "He needs to be at the centre of attention."
"Exactly! It might actually shut him up."
"Pretty sure solitary confinement is against the law," Callen said. "When there's no reason for it."
"Is being annoying not enough?" Kensi demanded with no real heat behind it.
She knew that solitary confinement was traumatic and not something to throw around lightly but Deeks didn't blame her for joking about it, this guy was annoying.
"Maybe we should set Hetty on him," Callen said after a few beats of silence.
They all shook their heads at that. That was just cruel. And also, probably against the law.