*Chapter 11: Rem's Discoveries*
Returning our attention to the misfortunate Mr. Director, he was now in a padded room at the hospital and continuously being evaluated by Dr. Freeburg.
"So tell me, sir." the psychoanalyst began. "Why is it that you seem to only want to subsist on small rodents and insects instead of normal food? There's nothing wrong with the hospital cuisine, surely?"
"...Because blood is life?" Mr. Director replied with a sort of deranged grin on his face.
"Erm...yes that's right. But why do you feel compelled to do such things?"
"Because Mister Master Boy wills it so?"
"And just who is Mister Master Boy, sir?"
"Why...only the supreme Lord of Chaos and Darkness!"
"Uh-huh..."
Dr. Freeburg wrote into his notepad, nodding while ignoring the crazed glee in Mr. Director's voice. Then there was a knock at the door.
"Yes?" the psychoanalyst called out.
A guard politely peered into the room and leaned towards the doctor.
"Excuse me doctor, but the patient seems to have some visitors at the moment."
"Oh?" Dr. Freeburg replied sounding a little interested and intrigued.
"Yes, sir; they're his two nephews and niece."
"Huh...that's odd." Dr. Freeburg murmured, looking through his paperwork. "I don't recall there being any record of next of kin...oh well, alright. But only ten minutes."
The doctor quietly departed while the guard ushered in the 'visitors'. Mr. Director jumped when he saw that they were Yakko, Wakko, and Dot.
"Thanks a bunch, Roy." Yakko said heartily.
"Now if you'll be so kind as to give us a little privacy." Dot added sweetly.
"Uh, are you sure, kids?" the guard asked tentatively. "This man isn't quite all there; he might get violent."
"Don't mind us." Wakko assured him. "He's just our crazy uncle. We can handle him."
In spite of his misgivings, the guard shrugged and left them alone as they wished, but remained close by in case if he heard screaming in the next three minutes. Back in the cell, the siblings suddenly turned their goofy grinning expressions into serious ones.
"Are the Master Boys and the Mistress Girl gonna free me?" Mr. Director cried, sounding hopeful.
"Not quite, Mr. Pennzoil Head." Yakko said. "For now, we've got a job for ya."
"A new job?"
"That's right. You just play nice with the man in the clean white coat so that you don't have to stay in this room all the time." Dot told him.
"And keep an eye out for our nosey neighbors." Wakko added.
"Nosy neighbors?"
"Correctamundo." said Yakko. "At some point, we'll need ya to help us give them the boot."
"Hoyle!" Mr. Director cried. "I shall obey, Mister Master Boy!"
Dr. Freeburg and the guard had started eaves dropping behind the door out of curiosity and slight suspicion. When the Warners were done with their errand, they suddenly slammed the door open, nearly crushing the poor doctor and guard, whistling as they departed.
XXXXXX
Rem woke on Monday morning in the usual manner, and found Alice in the kitchen making tea and having already taken a shower. Eyeing the clock on the microwave, Rem had plenty of time for breakfast before getting ready for class.
"Hey, Rem?" Alice called out. "Do you think you could sit down? We gotta talk."
Although Rem was a little surprised, somehow she knew that something like this was coming.
"Uh, sure." she said, taking a seat at the table.
Already, Rem could tell that Alice was in a mental struggle to divulge what she had to say. Unsure of how to begin.
"Just give it to me straight, Alice." Rem told her blonde dorm mate, resigning herself to whatever bad news was in store.
"...Dad's out of the ICU." Alice finally said. "Had to amputate his left leg."
Rem grimaced.
"That sucks." she rasped.
"Well, they didn't have much of his choice." Alice continued. "Anyway, the hospital wants him to stay a few more weeks just to be sure, but they think he's gonna be okay."
"Definitely good news...but that's not exactly why you wanted to talk."
"No, it isn't."
Alice was now straining against the urge to burst into tears.
"...Because of dad's injury, he's gonna have to relocate to Silicone Valley for his job. All that traveling is gonna be a huge strain..."
"So you're moving." Rem finished, feeling like a jerk for sounding full of dread at the prospect.
"Yeah...obviously it's not going to be right away. It'll be during Christmas break. Mom's already looking into other schools...not boarding ones. I just wanted to tell you before..."
Poor Alice was on the verge of tears again. Rem got ahold of her hands and gently squeezed them.
"Alice, it's okay." Rem said softly. "And don't worry about me; I'll be okay on my own. It's not like I'm totally helpless or anything."
"Well...I wouldn't know about that." the blonde sniffled. "You almost started a fire making pizza."
"That was a one-time thing, and it wouldn't have happened if the damn instructions weren't so vague." Rem protested.
"You often forget to study."
"Alice, my grades aren't that terrible."
"Sure, but they could be better."
Alice got ahold of a tissue and blew her nose after dabbing her baby blue eyes.
"You will graduate and go to a good college, won't you?" she said.
"Of course, Alice." Rem replied. "Not sure about college, but I'll definitely graduate."
"And you'll write to me, right? I mean, not every single day but...you know?"
"Sure. Whatever you want, Alice."
The blonde teen let out another sniffle and grabbed a second tissue.
"C'mon...we're gonna be late for class." she said.
XXXXXX
Since Alice made her announcement, she and Rem spent more time together for the remaining weeks of the term. In this way, Rem's homework actually got done before arriving in the homeroom and her Math grade picked up slightly. Rem was so wrapped up with Alice's impending departure that she nearly forgot about the Warners. To her credit, they seemed to have disappeared from the school again for just a bit, and came back.
The odd thing was - if Rem had noticed - they seemed keen on keeping a closer eye on her, even with her and Alice being practically joined at the hip. However, it did get Rem thinking at the very least if they intended to extend their stay as transfer students, they would probably jump at the opportunity to fill in the void that Alice would leave behind.
...I can just picture Dot Warner racing to Sister Margaret to apply for being my new dorm mate.
Of course, the school certainly didn't allow co-ed dorming.
One week later brought about Thanksgiving weekend. Most of the student body would be departing the school for their respective homes. Rem of course was among the very few that would remain, something that Alice was very much desperate to keep from happening. The blonde teen had tried appealing to Sister Margaret to allow Rem to accompany her to Sacramento so she wouldn't spend the holiday alone, but the nun gently told her that while she trusted Alice and her parents with Rem's welfare, it just could not be done. Rem, having already resigned herself to this fate, practically almost kicked Alice out of the school's front steps.
"Go home, Alice." Rem ranted. "You really don't need me there. Your dad definitely needs you a helluva lot more than I."
"..I know...but it just isn't right." Alice muttered.
"You want me to be happy? Have turkey with your folks. Spending the holiday with the nuns doesn't bother me at all."
...Been doing it for three years, and I imagine I'll be during it for a couple more.
After much coaxing, Alice finally went on her way to meet her mother at the state capital. To placate her fretful dorm mate, Rem attended the church service that the nuns were organizing. Again, the Warners were absent, but considering the possibility that they might have gone home too, Rem didn't think it was anything out of the ordinary.
That evening, after nearly falling out of a food coma from Thanksgiving dinner, Rem went back into the photo lab to develop more pictures. With most of the students gone, she had the entire lab all to herself. She played soft music in the background, allowing her to soothe away any school or personal related stress. Rem immediately set to work filling the metal tubs with development fluid and arranging clips on the clothesline above them.
As time lingered on and got later, images began to appear on the wet photosensitive paper. Rem eyed the clock, wondering if she should take a coffee break. Then, something suddenly caught her eye in one of the tubs. Carefully, raising the picture out of its bath with a special pair of tongs, the teen gave it a second look. From all appearances, it seemed to be her being squeezed into a hug. Only problem was, no one else was in the picture with her. She was alone, with just the iron fencing and shrubbery in the background.
...okay, what the hell is this?
Perhaps the photo didn't fully develop was her first thought, but after giving it an additional fifteen minutes in the fluid, the oddity remained. Rem had put the correct amount of fluid in the tub, so she wasn't quite sure what went wrong. Stranger still, the entire photo was very much thoroughly developed at that point.
Then Rem suddenly recalled something after observing that framing was also crooked.
This was the photo that Yakko Warner had taken at that charity even of himself and her.
Only somehow, he wasn't in it. At all.
Rem was completely stumped for a logical explanation to this...weird phenomenon. She never seen anything like this happen before, even in her worst looking pictures. With the desire for knowing what happened nagging at her, the teen went into the adjacent studio which housed the computers for the digital photographers. The hardware was pretty scarce since the school didn't have enough funding for two computer labs. Nevertheless, Rem used the internet browser to look up 'people who don't show up in photos'. She felt a bit ridiculous typing all that out, bit what else could she put in the search box?
The results were...interesting to say the least. They were mostly tied to technical issues surrounding digital photography on smart phones. Rem knew at this point, she had to be a bit more specific, so she went deep into thought she then recalled that Yakko seemed to have the strength of the Hulk, and that his body temperature was way below normal. He also seemed to be able to pop up from just about anywhere in the blink of an eye. So Rem added 'and have super strength and speed' to her search que, ignoring her feelings of sounding more ridiculous.
The result she got back this time around caught her full attention.
They were very much supernatural in nature. One in particular seemed to have all her description rolled into one subject.
Vampires.
Now Rem didn't just feel ridiculous, she felt like an absolute idiot to even think about stuff like this. After all everyone knew that vampires don't exist for heaven sakes.
But Rem couldn't help considering the possibility, especially after recalling all the other odd things attributed to Yakko and his siblings. They never ate or drank anything, and they seemed to disappear a few times. Then Rem recalled how Yakko started to act weird when she got a paper cut and the fact that she seemed to black out for a bit shortly afterward. On top of that, they were virtually nowhere to be seen during the earlier church services.
With all that said, the possibility of the Warners actually being vampires became alarmingly real.
What was worse, Rem realized, if some myths about vampires not being able to enter someone's building unless they had permission were true, they were essentially free to enter her dorm thanks to Alice's earlier invitation. A prospect that made Rem turn instantly pale.
"...holy mother of God." she croaked.
xxxxxx
As the half full moon was still hanging low in the sky, Rem made a mad dash to the nearest supermarket, constantly looking in every direction while clutching a rosary in her sweater pocket, and nearly tripping over her own feet. She didn't care if she got annoyed glares from the workers inside the store for coming in fifteen minutes before they closed early for the holiday.
Rem later came out with two plastic bags filled with garlic cloves. She couldn't go to the hardware store to get wood to carve into a stake since they were closed already. Still, Rem had an endless supply of holy water waiting for her back at the school at least...except it brought up another confused thought.
...I live less than twenty feet from a flippin' church; how the fuck are they able to waltz around the school yard without melting?!
Regardless, Rem raced all the way back to her dorm, resolving to just using the katana that hung on her wall. After all, she could still dispatch a vampire by slicing his head off. As soon as she was inside, Rem hastily dumped all the garlic onto the counter near the stove, intending to leave them all over the dorm. The teen would have to figure out how to explain all this to Alice without freaking her out later.
"You in a rush to cook dinner? There's a Denny's around the corner if you missed Thanksgiving turkey."
Rem jumped around and let out a startled yell when she suddenly heard Yakko's voice right behind her. He stood casually in the kitchen, playing with a paddle ball.
"Well that's a nice, nolstal-ACK! IT BURNS US! IT BURNS US!"
Rem had quickly snatched one of the cloves of garlic and thrusted it forward, causing Yakko to naturally recoil away.
"GET THE FUCK AWAY, YOU. BLOOD. SUCKING. SHITLORD!" Rem shrieked.
"Okay, okay, okay! So ya caught me red-handed." Yakko conceded while still flinching away from the garlic. "We were gonna break it to ya eventually."
"Oh like when?!" Rem yelled, still keeping her guard up. "After you drain me dry?!"
"Eeeeehhhhh, that wasn't necessarily our intention."
"...So your brother and sister are undead too?!"
"Well it does run in the family, Rem."
"Holy crap..."
Rem nearly sank to the floor with shock and horror when the reality of what she uncovered hit her hard. Yakko wanted to step forward and help her stay on her feet but couldn't go near her because she had a tight grip on the garlic.
"Look, I'll come clean if ya get rid of the poison ivy there." Yakko promised in a softer tone.
"What's that supposed to mean?!" Rem demanded in a raspy voice.
"For one thing, it involves your very own backstory. And some peace of mind."
"I highly doubt that..."
"I solemnly swear not to eyeball your neck. Scout's honor."
Seeing him place one hand over his unbeating heart, and not trying to hide other to cross his fingers made Rem finally relent and extend her trust.
For now, anyway.
xxxxxx
An hour later, the pair were sitting at the kitchen table with Rem clutching a mug of hot herbal tea so hard that it might have broken the handle off if she had more strength, and almost not believing a word of what she was told.
"So what you're telling me, is that I was a vampire in another life, and somehow I got offed and came back as a normal person?" Rem muttered, still not believing a word of it. "...how the hell does that even work?!"
"Beats me." Yakko replied with a shrug, leaning back in his chair with his feet planted on the table and playing around with his paddle ball again. "But since it kinda worked for Francis Ford Coppola, I suppose it ain't the most outlandish plot line."
Rem didn't make eye contact with him, staring into her cup instead.
"...And what makes you think that I'm your person?" she asked in a quiet tone.
"You tell me." Yakko replied again pointedly, arching a brow. "The nightmares notwithstanding."
Rem went silent again as her brain started working. He had a very valid point, and now that she really thought about everything, as dumb and complete crap as it sounded, it did seem to make sense. It was entirely possible that all the dreams and nightmares were actually memories that her subconscious was constantly smashing into her skull like a sledgehammer. It also explained why she felt strangely antisocial and uncomfortable around people. Why she always felt like the odd man out and didn't seem to belong here.
Why she felt so damn empty her whole life.
However, Rem remained unsure about this...revelation. While it seemed to make sense and fit together like a complicated puzzled, a part of her still felt like this was just a load of crap and Yakko was leading her on.
"...I don't know, Warner." the teen sighed, feeling rather exhausted.
"It's a big pill to swallow, I get it." Yakko quipped, suddenly appearing behind her. "I sure wasn't expecting a coven sister - slash - lover that I've been looking for well over two hundred years after she turned up missing to be mortal."
It was that moment Yakko realized that he got a little too passionate and said more than what he should've as Rem gave him quite a bewildered expression.
"Huh?" she sputtered.
"What?" Yakko quickly interjected.
There were a few seconds of awkward silence before Rem spoke up again.
"Listen Warner, while I appreciate you not bullshitting me, I-MPH!"
Before she could finish, another strip of 'CENSORED' tape suddenly appeared on her maw, cutting her off.
"We can still do without the potty mouth." Yakko told her admonishingly while placing his hands onto his hips.
Rem's mute response was an extremely annoyed expression before pulling the tape off.
"Gah! Oh, give me a break!" she exclaimed. "You're a blood sucking creature of chaos, and you can't stand the slightest bit of profanity?"
"I'd prefer to hear strings of cello from you." the elder Warner said in a dignified tone, folding his arms.
"But I told'ja before, I don't know how to play cello." Rem protested.
"Have ya given any thought on trying?"
"...Well no."
"I'll tell you what, you give it one whirl, just one, and we'll see who's pulling who's leg. Deal?"
Rem stared at the vampiric toon boy as he extended his hand to her. After a few tentative moments, she took his offer into consideration.
"Alright, Warner." she said reluctantly, slowly shaking his hand.
Then sounds of someone walking down the hallway alerted them.
"Oh crap, that's gotta be one of the nuns doing a contraband check." Rem cried. "You can't be here!"
She rushed towards one of the windows, and, in spite of the icy cold air outside, threw it open.
"You can turn into a bat...right?" the teen sputtered.
"Well of course I ca-URKK!"
"Then make like one outta hell and beat it, before she sees you here after curfew!"
Rem had grabbed ahold of Yakko and somehow managed to thrust him out the window. Yakko quickly transformed himself into a bat in order to avoid falling at least two stories and smashing a parked vehicle nearly flat. Rem then hastily closed the window.