Thank you for reading! I wanted to update a bit early today as I've got a busy day ahead of me so I hope you enjoy!

Tris

I've just stepped out of the shower when my phone chimes with a text. I wrap my hair in a towel and grab the phone off the bathroom counter.

Tobias.

My heart does a funny flip-flopping thing that leaves me breathless.

Tobias: I wish you hadn't left.

What does that mean? Is he saying he wishes I'd stayed and spent the night in his bed? And if so, why does the thought of that make everything inside me go haywire? My chest feels too small for my heart and lungs. My belly is fluttering, and the hot, tight feeling of desire that's been missing from my life for five long, lonely years has come roaring back to remind me that while Al is gone forever, I'm still very much alive.

And I want this man.

My phone chimes with another text from him.

Tobias: Sorry if that's too blunt. (He includes the smiley face and red-face emojis.) But it's true. I wish you were still here.

Before I can give in to my propensity to overthink everything, I respond to him.

Tris: I wish I was still there, too.

Tobias: Really? You do? dies

I laugh out loud at his silly reply and send the laughing and crown emojis followed by a text.

Tris: Drama queen.

Tobias: No, seriously. Today was just so . . . perfect. It was an absolutely perfect day, and that's because of you.

Tobias: And you. I enjoyed it, too. So much.

My phone rings, and it's him, asking to FaceTime with me. I run my fingers through my wet hair and take the call. "If I look frightening, it's because I had no time to brush my hair."

"You couldn't look frightening if you tried."

I swallow hard at the sight of him sitting up in bed, his chest bare and the sheet gathered around his waist. Is he naked under there? I zero in on the golden hair that covers his chest and abdomen, arrowing down toward the sheet. I lick lips that've gone dry as I check him out. "You should see me first thing in the morning." The words are out before I take a second to contemplate what exactly I'm saying.

He responds with a wolfish grin that melts my panties. Oh wait, I'm not wearing any. Crap. "I'd love to see you first thing in the morning. When would you like to do that?"

I giggle like a silly girl, which is exactly how he makes me feel. Like I'm once again young with my heart still intact the way it was before tragedy shattered my world and crushed me. I've forgotten how it feels to be lighthearted, whole, happy, excited for the future. These emotions wash over me in a tidal wave of elation that meeting Tobias has brought back into my life.

"I apologize for being inappropriate," he says, bringing me back to reality.

"You were joking. I know that."

"Um, well, no, not really. I can't stop thinking about being with you and kissing you and how amazing that was."

"It was pretty amazing."

"I'm glad you think so, too."

"I do."

"So yeah, not joking about wishing I could see you first thing in the morning, and all the rest of the time, too."

He's so cute and so sexy and so . . . I have to stop myself from diving straight off the cliff into whatever this is with him. I have to remember the years I spent in school preparing for my new job. He is my job for the time being, and as much as I want to take that dive, I probably shouldn't do that right now. Although, after kissing his face off, it's a little late to be warning myself off him.

"I know what you're going to say."

I eye him skeptically. "So now you're a mind reader and a brain surgeon?"

He laughs, which makes him even sexier, if that's possible. "Yes, they teach us how to read minds in neurosurgery school. It's part of the first-year curriculum. And what you were going to say is that we're working together, and this isn't the time for it to become anything more than that."

"They taught you well in neurosurgery school."

"Thank you. I am good at what I do. When I'm allowed to do it, that is."

The sadness I see and hear from him has my heart going out to him. "Are you getting crazy being cut off from work?"

"A little. It's been years since I went this long without drilling into someone's skull."

I sputter with laughter. "You're sick."

"I know it must seem that way to someone who doesn't do what I do, but to me, skull-drilling is just another day at the office."

"It's a really amazing thing to be good at."

"I always thought so, too, until it was taken from me." He sips from a beer bottle. "I got an email from Lauren."

Hearing that, I sit up straighter. "You did? What'd she say?"

"How sorry she is for everything that happened, that she never intended for my career to be impacted. That she'd like another chance with me. Yada, yada."

"That's such bullshit! What did she think would happen when she set you up to be caught naked with her by her husband, who was also your biggest boss?"

"Easy, tiger." He flashes that sexy grin that makes me feel powerful and powerless at the same time, and yes, I know that's as crazy as it sounds. But there you have it.

"I deleted the email and blocked her so I never have to hear from her again."

"Good."

"It felt good."

"She never intended to mess up your career. Whatever. She knew exactly what she was doing, and she didn't give your promising career the first thought when she launched her insane scheme to get rid of her husband."

"You're very sexy when you're pissed. Remind me to rile you up more often."

"Tobias! Stop. I'm dead serious."

"I know you are, and it means so much to me to have your support and your friendship and your professional expertise. You have no idea how much."

"My professional expertise, such as it is."

"You're doing great, Tris. Your ideas feel right to me, and even if it doesn't work to sway the board, it'll all have been worth it to have met you and to have spent this time with you."

I'm so bowled over by him that I respond with humor rather than the emotion that's coursing through my veins like an out-of-control freight train that can't be pushed back into the station no matter how hard I try. Not that I'm trying all that hard. "Especially that time we went to jail."

He smiles. "Especially that. We'll always have jail. In other good news, some of the residents who've been working with me on the research have reached out to the board in New York to let them know they're crazy to let me go, especially when we're so close to a real breakthrough."

"That's amazing. Someday in the not-too-distant future, all of this will be a bad dream that you finally woke up from."

"Not all of it has been bad," he says in a meaningful tone that leaves no doubt he's referring to me.

I run my fingers through my hair, trying to bring order to it. "We have something in common, you and me."

"What's that?"

"We both thought we had it all figured out until it went to shit."

"True. Although your thing was a thousand times worse than mine."

"Heartbreak is heartbreak, no matter how it happens."

"We'll have to agree to disagree on that. Losing your young husband the way you did is far worse than what's happening to me."

"I still hate that she did that to you when you've worked so hard for the career that's now hanging in the balance."

"I have to believe it's going to work out. Even if I can't practice at Chicago general, I'm still a well-qualified physician. It's not like I'm going to suddenly be unable to make a living anywhere."

"I'm glad you're feeling more positive about it."

"I'm trying. You've been a huge help to me, Tris. Seriously."

"It's been fun. My first week on the new job has been far more interesting than expected."

"Especially the time in jail."

"The beach was pretty nice, too."

"Way better than jail."

"Stop talking about jail!"

"Never," he says, laughing.

I'm tired, but I don't want this conversation to end. I could talk to him all night and never get enough of the sound of his voice or the amusing things he says.

"Hey, Tris?"

"Yes?"

"I want to take you on a real date. Can we do that soon?"

I ought to say no. I ought to try harder to keep the boundaries in place between personal and professional, but in light of what's already happened between us, it's too late for such concerns. "Sure, that'd be fun."

"You had to think about it for a long moment there."

"It's not because I don't want to go out with you. I'm just concerned about the personal versus professional thing."

"I get that. I should be far more concerned about it after Lauren, but this is nothing like that was even before it went bad."

"How is it different?"

"Because you're you, and that makes everything about this special and unique."

"You know how to make a girl all fluttery inside."

"Yeah?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Are you tired?" he asks.

"A little. You?"

"I could sleep, but talking to you is more fun."

My phone chimes with a new text from Abuela that I quickly read. 'Loved meeting your friend Tobias today. He seems like a special young man. You don't like when I interfere, so I'll only say that you light up around him. Sweet dreams, mi amor. Xoxo'

"What're you smiling about?"

"A text from Abuela. She liked meeting you."

"I liked meeting her and the others. You have a great family."

"Wait until you meet the rest of them. You may not think so."

"I'm sure I will."

"Do you come from a big family?"

"I have a few cousins, but they're mostly older than me. I don't know them very well. It's pretty much been me and my mom since my dad left."

"You don't see him at all?"

"Maybe once or twice a year when he gets to New York. I'd prefer not to see him, but my mom encourages me to do it. She doesn't want me to have regrets."

"She sounds like an amazing person if she can think that way after he was unfaithful to her."

"She's all about forgiveness, even if we don't necessarily forget. But it took her a long time to get there after everything happened."

"I understand that. I decided to forgive the man who killed Al because it hurt me more to hate him than it did to forgive him. I won't forget what he did, but I forgive him."

"That's really admirable. I'm not sure I could do that. I've barely been able to consider forgiving my father for what he did."

"I found out the man's family was evicted from their apartment. He was robbing the store because they were out of formula for his infant daughter, and he was desperate. He'd had issues with police in the past. When he saw Al in uniform, he panicked. I honestly don't believe he intended to shoot or kill him."

"Wow."

"Two lives were ruined in the span of a second. When I heard the whole story, I asked the prosecutor to request life in prison for the shooter rather than the death penalty. I didn't think Al would approve of me seeking a life for a life in this case."

"I give you so much credit for being able to think that clearly, at twenty-four, after losing your husband and best friend so senselessly."

"It helped to focus on the details of the case rather than wallowing in grief, not that I didn't do plenty of that, too."

"I'm so, so sorry you went through that."

His kind words leave a lump in my throat. "Thank you. I miss him, but I accepted a long time ago that I'll always miss him and love him. That'll never change."

"Of course it won't. Can I ask you . . ."

"What?"

"It's none of my business."

"It's okay. You can ask. Aren't we past the point where my business isn't your business and vice versa?"

His low chuckle makes me feel warm all over, my skin prickling with nearly painful awareness of how much I want this man.

"Tris . . ." He sounds agonized, and I can't imagine why. "I like you so much. You have to know that."

"Why do I hear a 'but' coming?"

"No buts. I like you. I like you so fucking much it's not even funny. I like everything about you."

"That's a lot of like." He's adorable and sweet and sexy as all hell. "I like you, too."

"It's just . . . My life is such a ridiculous mess right now, and you . . . You haven't been with anyone since Al died, and . . ."

"What's wrong, Tobias? Just say it."

"I don't want to hurt you."

I lick my lips and note the way his gaze homes in on the movement of my tongue. He doesn't try to hide the fact that he wants me fiercely, and knowing that empowers me. "I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."

"I know that. You're the strongest, most courageous person I've met in a long time. The last thing in the world I want to do is come sweeping through your life like a brush fire and leave ashes in my wake. I have no idea where I'm going to be two weeks or a month from now. It would kill me if, you know . . ."

My tremendous affection for him grows and multiplies as he shows his concern for me. That puts him light-years ahead of the other men I've dated since I lost my husband. "I have every reason in the world to stay far away from you. I worked my ass off to land this job, and I'm determined to have this career for as long as I can before I'll have to take over the restaurant."

"I don't want to do anything to fuck that up for you, sweetheart."

"I appreciate that you care. That matters to me. But if I've learned anything from what I've been through, it's that life is short and right now is all we're promised. I like you. I like how I feel when I'm with you—and even when I'm not. For the first time since I lost Al, I want to know where it might go from here. If you end up somewhere else, I'll deal with that when it happens."

"And your job?"

"I'm not going to tell anyone that this has become something more than a job. Are you?"

"Hell no."

"Then it ought to be fine."

"'Ought to be' doesn't always go the way it ought to."

"Trust me, I know." I try to organize my thoughts into some semblance of sense. "You said today was a great day for you."

"It was the best day. Maybe the best day I've ever had."

"It was the best day I've had in five years, Tobias. I'm well aware of all the reasons why I need to be careful, but I'm so tired of being careful, of sticking to the sidelines while life goes on without me. I want to live again, not just exist."

"Tris, you're killing me. I want to be there with you so badly it's taking everything I've got to stay put."

"I wish you were here, too, but I think we should both take a pause, think about all of this and make a logical decision about where we go from here."

"I already know where I want to go from here."

I lose my composure and giggle again. I love that he makes me laugh the way I used to, before life backhanded me across the face. "I'm serious, Tobias."

"So am I. I'm as serious about this as I've been about anything."

"You're just coming off a major disappointment—"

"I've left her so far behind it's like she never happened. Finding out she set me up the way she did ruined any feelings I had for her. I swear to God this isn't a rebound, Tris. Not even kinda."

"My head is spinning a little."

"Mine is, too, but it's the best feeling. Isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Get some sleep. Tomorrow is another day. We'll figure this out."

"I'm looking forward to seeing you in doctor mode at the clinic."

"I'm looking forward to it, too. See you in the morning?"

"Yes, you will. Go to sleep."

"You too."

"Don't want to let you go."

I turn off the light and settle in under the covers, the glow from my phone bright in the darkness of my bedroom.

He does the same on his end, plunging us both into darkness. "I wish I was in bed with you, holding you and kissing you and other stuff."

"What other stuff?" I ask, breathless once again.

"The good stuff."

"It's been so long for me that I can barely remember the good stuff."

He groans loudly. "Stop."

"Don't want to."

"Tris."

When I close my eyes, all I can see is the image of him sitting up in bed, the covers pooled at his waist, sexy man chest on full display. I was better off before I knew his chest looked that good.

I fall asleep with a smile on my face. When I wake hours later, the first thing I notice is that the connection is still live. I watch him sleep for a long time, wishing he were here next to me.

I should probably be concerned that I've lost all perspective when it comes to him. I couldn't care less about all the reasons why it might be a bad idea to get involved with him from personal or professional standpoints.

I don't care about anything other than being with him, and that's so far out of character for me as to be laughable. I always care. I always do the right thing and stay in my lane. I never do anything that would be considered risky, especially since I lost Al.

Two days after meeting Tobias, I feel like a new version of myself, and I like this new version a whole lot. If I've learned anything from what I've been through, it's that life isn't a dress rehearsal. It can be taken from us at any time, and we need to fully embrace every minute we have. I haven't done that the way I should've since my world was turned upside down.

I'll be damned if I'm going to miss out on this chance to fully live.

Dr Tobias Eaton had better look out. He has no idea that New Tris will be greeting him in a few short hours, and New Tris wants him.

Badly.