A/N – Trigger warning - depression, self harm.

This is set in the period where Harry's Nimbus broke, but before he gets the Firebolt for Christmas. The idea was from a teacher's group where we were discussing how unrealistic Hogwarts was as a school - I mean, who keeps a school open when a giant Basilisk is trying to kill students? Another teacher commented that Harry would have some serious psychological issues stemming from the Dursley abuse, and he'd probably have PTSD from all his run-ins with Voldemort.

Harry was sat at breakfast. He had quidditch training after breakfast but wasn't looking forward to it. He'd have to use one of the school brooms. An old Cleansweep which was about 10 years old and had a mind of its own. It never did what Harry wanted it to. Hermione was already in the library. Ron was sat with him, looking tired. "Hey Harry, after practice can you help me with the charms homework Flitwick gave us? I can't make head nor tail of it."

"Sorry can't. I told Professor Lupin I'd see him after practice. He's going to meet me at the Quidditch pitch," replied Harry.

"Bloody hell why does Lupin love you so much Harry?" asked Ron, "didn't he catch you out of bed Tuesday? He didn't even get you in trouble."

"He does not love me" replied Harry testily, "Anyway, I've got to go and grab a school broom. I'd better get going. See you tonight at dinner." Harry got up and left Ron sat there by himself.

Quidditch practice was frustrating for Harry with the school broom. He missed the snitch several times as the Cleansweep was just too old and slow. Oliver told him off on several occasions. He saw Professor Lupin sat in the stands watching him with 15minutes to go of practice left. He waved. Lupin waved back. Finally practice was over. Harry went to shower. Remus decided to wait for Harry outside the men's change rooms. From outside he could hear a heated discussion between Harry and Oliver about Harry's performance today at practice. He entered the changerooms and told the pair of them to give it a rest and shower. They grumbled off to shower. Fred, or was it George, came to talk to Remus, asking him about timing spells which he had mentioned in class the previous day. Remus explained to Fred how to do one until Harry finished in the shower. Harry quickly exited the shower wrapped head to toe in several towels, and grabbed his bag. As he did, George, or was it Fred, grabbed the towel which was wrapped around Harry's torso, asking why he needed five towels. Harry immediately made to grab the towel that George took, pulled it back and wrapped it back around. George shouted "Oh, likkle Harry poo, all shy for the Professor."

"George, shut up and leave me the fuck alone" screamed Harry. This started Oliver again "Who the fuck do you think you are Potter?" shouted Oliver.

Remus quickly moved to stand between the two boys "Right. That's enough from all of you. Harry, go and get dressed. Oliver, is practice over? Fred, George, time to head back to the castle please. I can explain that timing spell later. Find me after dinner tonight?"

Fred and George were the first to grab their things and go. Remus turned to Oliver and said quietly "Harry's not having a good time, let me work on him" Oliver nodded, Remus just replied with a little smile "Thanks, Oliver, you're a good guy. I'll see you Monday in class."

Harry came out of the change rooms to see Remus still sat there waiting for him. "Ready to go?" asked Remus. Harry nodded. "Let's take that school broom back to the shed first, hey?" Harry walked out of the changerooms and started walking before he said "Professor, I don't really want to do this now." Remus looked around, checking to see if anyone was nearby. "Harry, we need to talk. You can't just go around taking your temper out on others." Harry glared at him. "Ok Harry, we do this now or before dinner. Your choice," replied Remus calmly in the face of Harry's foul mood.

"Before dinner" replied Harry, still angry.

"Sounds good. You know where my office is," replied Remus factually before turning and leaving Harry and his bad mood to himself.

Remus walked back to his office, slunk down in his chair and let out a huge groan. Harry was being a pain. He wondered if Harry would actually come to see him. No, thought Remus, this isn't Harry's fault. If he's seriously depressed like on Tuesday night, he's not giving me a hard time. He's having a hard time. Remus grabbed his money pouch and his travel cloak and headed out to Hogsmeade to get some more chocolate.

Remus came back and opened the Marauder's map. He whispered 'trovare Prongslet'. He could see Harry's name light up with red sparks in the Gryffindor tower. He walked out to the corridor and found a Gryffindor student "Ah Colin, how are you? I was wondering are you going back to the Gryffindor Common room any time soon?"

"Yes, I'm heading back now, why?" replied Colin.

"That's great, if you see Harry Potter, could you please remind him that he's supposed to come and see me now"

"Sure" replied Colin

"Thanks, Colin" finished Remus as Colin wandered off.

Remus went back to his office, which was now occupied by Minerva McGonagall.

"Ah, Minerva, what can I do for you?" Remus asked.

"You are close to Potter," she started, "apparently he's being, to use Woods' words, a right git."

"Ah, yes, well that's one way to explain him at the moment. I was supposed to see him after Quidditch today, but he just got in a fight with Oliver and the Weasley twins. He's supposed to see me now, but as you can see, he's absconded," replied Remus.

"I am concerned about him, Minerva. His moods are all over the place lately. I found him crying in a broom cupboard on Tuesday night, and…and" Remus didn't know whether to say it or not… "I think he's been self-harming" he got out. "In the change rooms after quidditch practice this morning, he was very careful to try and cover his whole body. George Weasley, or maybe Fred, grabbed one of the several towels he was using to cover his body, and Harry flipped out. I managed to see some cuts along one of his arms, but I don't know if there's a logical explanation."

Minerva looked shocked "This is quite serious, Remus."

"I know, that's why I've sent a student to remind Harry to come and see me" replied Remus.

"Do you think he'll come?" asked Minerva. Remus walked over to his desk to look at the parchment which still had Harry with red sparks coming off his name in the Gryffindor common room. Remus could see that Colin was also in the common room now. "Probably not" replied Remus.

"I assume you've got your special map back" said Minerva with what looked like a faint smile.

"Ah, yes, I've set the search function on so it will alert me whenever Sirius comes in the castle. Quite useful really, and to think we only created that function so James could stalk Lily," he replied.

Minerva gave a smile. "If Potter isn't here by dinner, I'd grab him at dinner. Do you want to deal with the boy, or shall I?"

"I think I'd best do it" replied Remus, "maybe I can tempt him with dessert. Know what his favourite is? Otherwise its more of that gooey centred chocolate cake."

"Oh, you and your chocolate, Remus. If you didn't have to deal with monthly transformations, you wouldn't be as skinny as you are," started Minerva. Remus just gave small chuckle "But the boy is partial to treacle tarts."

"Right, I'll go down to the kitchens and ask. I want my steak blue for dinner tonight. Full moon coming and all" he replied.

Remus took the map with him down to the kitchens so he could give his requests to the kitchen. Of course the house elves were obliging of his requests. They agreed to send the blue steak to the teacher's table and then send a few treacle tarts to his office. Remus headed off to the Great Hall for dinner.

Remus ate his steak but noticed that Harry wasn't at dinner. He went over to where Ron was sat with Hermione and the rest of the Weasleys and asked if they had seen Harry. "Not since Quidditch. He was being a right tosser, professor" they told Remus.

"So, he's not in the Gryffindor common room?" asked Remus.

"No" they replied. Either they were exceptionally good liars or Harry had been dodging them all afternoon.

Remus went back to the teacher's table and spoke to Minerva "What is the password for the Gryffindor common room?" he asked her quietly.

"Flibbertigibbert" replied Minerva, "good luck."

Remus thanked her then walked to the Gryffindor Common Room. He could see from the map that Harry was still sat on his bed. He walked up to the portrait and gave the password. The portrait opened and Remus walked in. He remembered walking into the common room as a first year, when he was barely tall enough to get his leg over the portrait hole without falling over. The room hadn't changed one bit. He walked towards the right of the room, where the corridor to the boys' dorms was. He walked up to the third-year dorm and walked in. "Harry, I know you're in there" he said as he walked in. He walked over to where the map said Harry was. He stood there. He checked under the bed. He wasn't there. He then looked at the blankness on Harry's bed and said "Harry, it's me. You were supposed to come and see me two hours ago. Take your cloak off and let's have that chat." Nothing happened. Remus sat on the edge of the bed. "Harry, you're not in trouble. I just want to talk to you, to help you." He sat there for a little while longer until Harry's head appeared. "Have you eaten?" he asked Harry. "I'm not hungry" Harry replied.

"Hmmm, come on, let's go to my office. The other students will be back soon," replied Remus.

"I don't want to be seen by the others," replied Harry.

"Hmmm, I might still have some floo powder in my pocket. Would you be ok to floo to my office?" asked Remus.

"Fine" said Harry uninterested.

Remus got up, and Harry followed him. "Ok, when you floo, say you want to go to Lupin's office" he told Harry. Harry threw a handful of the powder that Remus gave him into the fire in the Gryffindor common room and said, "Lupin's office." Remus followed him quickly.

Once in the office, Remus motioned for Harry to sit down. He saw the treacle tarts on the table. He turned to Harry and offered him one "I know you said you weren't hungry, but maybe I can convince you to try one? How about a cup of hot chocolate?"

Harry took a treacle tart, as Remus conjured two large mugs of hot chocolate, then asked Harry how he'd been the rest of the day.

Harry just looked away and shrugged, then looked back at Remus and unloaded "Those school brooms are utterly infuriating. Wood was being a prat – telling me off for things I couldn't help. Who does he think he is? Then to top it off, George and Fred were being morons – teasing me all the time for stupid things."

"Hmmm, sounds like today hasn't been a good day for you. Did you hide under the cloak when you got back from practice?" asked Remus.

Harry nodded, "I'm not really in the mood for talking to people."

"That's understandable. Things haven't been easy for you. Your broom was broken through no fault of your own and others are not considering the impact that has on you," replied Remus. Harry just looked at him and started munching on the treacle tart he was given earlier. Remus thought he almost looked happy eating it. He decided to go for the kill. "Harry, I was wondering if you could show me something. You see, in the change rooms, I thought I may have seen something. I want to check," Remus stated.

Harry just looked at him, suspiciously. "What is it?" he barked back.

"Harry, could you please roll up your sleeves for me?" asked Remus. Merlin, thought Remus, if I'm wrong about this, Harry will lose all trust in me.

"Why?" barked Harry as he stood up and got his wand out.

"Harry," Remus said calmly, "I'm worried that I saw some scars on your arms that indicate that you are hurting yourself. I'm actually really worried for you." He kept calm and looked at Harry. Luckily for Remus, he didn't have to draw his wand to protect himself against Harry, but he didn't expect Harry to simply start crying again.

"Professor, sometimes I do it so I can feel something…. anything" Harry chocked out between sobs.

"Oh Harry" said Remus as he stood up and moved to pull Harry into a large hug, "Shhh, Harry, I'm here for you. Take as long as you want" he told the boy.

After quite some time, Harry eventually stopped crying and Remus broke the hug. "Sit" Remus told Harry. "Harry, I'm not a psychologist. The most I can do is tea and sympathy. I am legally obliged to complete a form which will go to Professor Dumbledore about this."

Harry looked at Remus with a look of dread. "Harry, there is nothing I can do to stop this report now. However, I hope that it will help you. The psychologist will be able to meet with you more often. You'll be given the help you need to get through this," Remus told Harry.

Harry looked at him, not saying anything. Remus decided to continue. "Harry, have you got scars or fresh wounds at the moment?"

Harry nodded in response. "Ok, show me, I have some potion that can lessen the scars and help to heal the new cuts," Remus told him. He went to the nearest draw in his desk and pulled out two bottles. "Here, show me," he told Harry. Harry obliged this time and showed Remus the cuts, ranging from old cuts that were scars to fresh cuts. Remus did as he said and applied the two potions to all cuts. "I'm no Madam Pomfrey, but they should start looking better by the morning." He said to Harry, before adding "Harry, it's almost third-year curfew. Did you want anything to eat from the kitchens?" Harry shook his head. "Ok, well I'll take you back to the common room then. Here, take this plate of treacle tarts with you. If you don't eat them, share them with the others in your dorm." Remus walked Harry back to the common room, making small talk with him the whole time. He watched Harry walk into the portrait then turned and left. But Remus didn't go direct to his office. He went to Minerva's office instead.

Remus knocked on the door before Minerva replied "Come in." Remus carefully walked in and sat down. "I just finished seeing Harry. He has been in the Gryffindor tower since Quidditch practice ended, under his invisibility cloak, which explains why the others hadn't seen him." He started.

"And the suspected self-harm?" Minerva asked him.

"True. There's some scarred ones and some fresh-looking ones. I gave him some potions to help with healing. Ideally Poppy could have a look and do a proper job, but I highly doubt he'd allow that" replied Remus.

"You do realise what this means?" asked Minerva.

"Yes. Do you have the form? I can start it tonight, have it to you tomorrow and we can set the wheels in motion to get him some help. Whatever his current psych is doing, it's not helping him so much," said Remus.

"Mmm, maybe he needs to go to St Mungo's to see a different healer. Someone who will look at things more holistically" replied Minerva, "Anyway, let me find that form so you can start on it tonight, and I'll start to update the risk management plan." She opened a filing cabinet and handed Remus the form. He thanked her then left.

Remus got back to his office and looked at the form. He sat there for a while just staring at it. How on earth did things get so bad, he thought. That laughing smiling baby that he used to know.

The next morning, first thing he did was submit the form about Harry's self-harm to Professor Dumbledore. Albus thanked him then suggested they go to eat breakfast.

The next day, Minerva caught up with Remus. "About Harry…." she started, "he's going to St Mungo's to see a healer in mental maladies. He's asked if you could accompany him."

"Sure. When is he going?" he replied.

"Tuesday morning. Expect to be there all day I assume," replied Minerva.

"But I have classes on Tuesdays," he said thoughtfully.

"Yes, but don't you want to throw some of your nosier students off the trail of the full moon. I thought it would be a good idea" replied Minerva cunningly.

"Good point. Floo or side-along apparition again?" asked Remus.

"Either is fine" she replied.

Tuesday morning rolled around and Remus was careful not to be seen – he asked for the house elves to bring his breakfast to his office, before Harry came to his office to Floo to St Mungo's. Remus thought Harry looked a bit ill last time they apparated to the hospital, but he still brought a block of chocolate in his cloak pocket, just in case Harry was a bit queasy after taking the Floo network.

Once they got to St Mungo's, Remus noticed that Harry was looking a bit pale, so he offered him some chocolate. Harry looked at Remus as if to say, 'how typical of you?' and refused the chocolate. Remus pocketed the chocolate and they headed out to the mental maladies ward where Harry had a long day of appointments lined up. Luckily Remus had brought some books with him to keep him busy. As Harry went to the first appointment, Remus took the first book out of his cloak and tapped it with his wand so that it became the correct size. Harry kept coming and going as the day rolled on. At lunch, Remus pulled out a package of sandwiches and pastries he received from the kitchen and unshrunk it, before grabbing two bottles of pumpkin juice from his cloak that he also got from the kitchen. He offered some to Harry, who ate a little of one sandwich before deciding he wasn't hungry.

Finally past five in the afternoon, Harry was sent home. Remus didn't want to pry to much into Harry's new situation, so he simply made small talk as they walked back to the Floo network fireplaces in the hospital. Once they got back to Remus' office, Harry turned to Remus and thanked him for going with him, before leaving for dinner. Remus decided not to eat in the Great Hall that night, just like when he is recovering from a transformation.

The following day, Poppy Pomfrey caught Remus in the staff room while he was marking. She asked to have a word with him about Harry. "I've just got his paperwork back from St Mungo's. I see he wrote you down as the adult to contact," she started.

"What?" stated Remus surprised, "he never told me that. I mean it's fine, but, wow." Poppy smiled at him "Kids, huh?"

"But Poppy, what if he needs something and I'm y'know, unavailable" he asked her.

"That's a good point, I will tell Harry that he needs a back up person, maybe his head of house, in case Professor Lupin is busy…. Hunting grindylow specimens for his class" she said with a smile.

"Yes, sounds good" he said smiling back, "Poppy, do you know what the healers have suggested for Harry to do to get better? Are you able to tell me?"

"Yes, you are his nominated contact, so legally I can tell you anything you ask. They've given him a daily anti-depressant potion, and he will now see the psych twice a week, instead of once a fortnight. Also, he's seeing a new psych now. Seems the old one wasn't the best fit," she responded.

"Ah, good. I truly hope this works for Harry," said Remus.

"We all do" replied Poppy.