Welcome to the failed attempt of Carter Angst!

Hopefully, you will be able to see this chapter as there have been numerous problems with the website for the last day or so

The sound of flicking pages echoed around the room, Carla was rummaging through her journal, well both of her journals which she had managed to scribble her way through since being here, she realised how she hadn't been honest but with Peter looming every now and then she couldn't really be honest because then he would know about Azalea. She knew she needed to tell him and that it was only fair, she was much saner now and she thought about a couple of weeks prior when she couldn't even bear to think about Azalea's paternity, it just seemed easier to let Peter carry on being her father because at least she knew that her daughter was being looked after no matter how wrong it was for him to do that. She pleaded with her mind to let her tell him but there was something that always held her back and that was the fact that Peter had done so much for her, yeah it was a stupid mistake and yes she totally consented to sleeping with Ray but she knew that it would hurt Peter so much if he was to find out and he didn't deserve that and Carla truly hated herself for it.

"Hey" Dr Williams enters the room, Carla holds her hand up to silence him as she continues to flick through her journal "I was wondering if you wanted to talk, about yesterday?"

"I've said all that's needed to be said" Carla turns to face him and shrugs "It is what it is, what else can I do?"

"Tell Peter the truth?"

"I can't do that" she laments "Yes I know it's all my fault and I was stupid to sleep with Ray...but if I told Peter then he will drink, Aziza will be even more traumatised, I can't do that to her...unless...no I cant"

"Speak to Michelle?" Dr Williams suggests, Carla sighs and hums slightly, a plan forming in her head

"Ok" she nods thinking it through in her head briefly "Get Michelle here"

Dr Williams did hat Carla said, he rang Michelle and got her here urgently, in a way Peter was hurt that she got to see Carla over him but right now all that mattered was keeping Carla happy. Michelle dressed in something a bit more colourful which she hoped wouldn't trigger Carla to the extend where she would regress but by her surprise, Carla was very welcoming of her presence and immediately hugged her friend. Dr Williams sat in the room whilst they started off making generic conversation about Carla's children wondering when Carla was going to drop the bombshell which could essentially ruin her relationship with Peter and her family set up.

"Why am I here then, you obviously called me here for a reason" Michelle sighs tilting her head to the side, Carla takes Michelle's hands into hers

"When are you going back to Ireland?"

"Well, I was planning on doing that when you were out of this place-"

"I want you to go by the end of the week and I want you to take Zi and Azalea with you" Carla states, Michelle, frowns before chuckling slightly in response "I mean it"

"Why?"

"I need to tell Peter the truth, the truth about what really put me in here-"

"I thought you just..."

"It's not what you think" Carla whispers standing up and biting her lip, she begins to pace the room "Azalea isn't Peter's"

"What?" Michelle laughs slightly glancing to Dr Williams who just shrugs slightly "You have got to be kidding me, then who's is she if she's not Peter's, I'm sorry I don't believe you would be so stupid to cheat on Peter"

"I did" Carla starts "Ray Crosby"

"No...you wouldn't go there, Carla are you sure you're ok-"

"It's true" Dr Williams smiles glancing to Carla, Carla smiles back before glancing to Michelle who was resting her head in her hands

"How then?" Michelle questions, her gut-wrenching at the possibility of Carla being raped as she knew what Ray was like

"I was working for him, you know the development..."

"Oh my god!" Michelle states Carla sighs with tears in her eyes "He was...I knew it was odd you going back into Underworld, it didn't make sense considering everything you said when you were sectioned last time"

"I know...I was under contract with him, I didn't know about it until...well until he made it clear then I worked for him as there was no way of getting out of it...well there was but I didn't want to go through court cases, the possibility of Peter going back on the sauce and Aziza being traumatised by it, that kid has been through too much"

"So you though the easy way out was to just go along with it even though you knew the implications it would have on everyone?"

"When I fell pregnant...the guilt it was eating me up and Ray released me from the contract because he couldn't have me blabbing you know what he was like"

"Did he rape you?"

"No, entirely consensual, me and Peter were going through a rough patch" Carla murmurs, Michelle just laughs dryly at the whole thing "Will you help me, I don't know what to do?"

"I will yes," Michelle says bringing her in for a hug "What do you need me to do?"

"I need you to pack some bags for Azalea and Aziza, their passports should be in the study, if Azalea doesn't have one can you just take them to a short term let or something. You can make your escape when I call Peter here to tell him everything, you'll have to be quick though, I plan on doing this today"

"Ok, yeah" Michelle nods kissing Carla on the forehead, she turns to Dr Williams and smiles "Look after her yeah?"

"I will" Dr Williams smiles, Carla brings Michelle in for a hug again and they say their goodbyes

"Tell the girls I love them ok?" Carla confirms, Michelle nods grabbing her jacket "Bye 'Chelle"

"Bye babe"

Carla then asked Dr Williams to phone Peter who agreed he would come because she was eager to speak to Carla anyway considering what happened yesterday. They weren't going to be meeting in Carla's room instead they were going to be meeting in a special room which was designed for difficult meetings, there was also going to be a couple of nurses there to make sure things went smoothly for Carla. Peter arrived and they started off in Carla's room just talking but Peter could sense something wasn't quite right as Carla wasn't asking him to hold her or give her any affection like she usually did which made him quite worried.

"Can we move room now?" Carla asks Dr Williams who nods watching her take Peter's hand and lead him out of the room into the other room which they had set up "I need to tell you something Peter and you're not going to like it, at all"

"Come on it can't be that bad" Peter chuckles breathlessly glancing around the room seeing a series of nurses at in the room with them, deep down he knew it was bad but he was just trying to brace himself

"We need to talk about Azalea..."

"What?" Peter questions with a frown glancing around the room before his eyes focus on Carla "What about her? You don't want to put her up for adoption do you?"

"No, no...nothing like that..." Carla trails off biting her lip, Peter just rubs his forehead "There's no easy way to say this but...she's not yours"

"What?" Peter stands up and glares at her, she holds her ground and looks into his eyes "I don't believe you"

"It's true, I'll even do a DNA test" Carla states, Peter sinks back down into the comfort of the chair he was previously sat on, Carla goes to take his hand but he swipes his away "I'm sorry"

"Sorry?" Peter questions incredulously "You're sorry?"

"I am"

"You seem it" he spits angrily, "You let me bring up another man's kid thinking it was mine and you didn't tell me! After I told you everything about...oh my god! You did it because of Abi didn't you?!"

"Yes, I did" Carla nods in agreement knowing that Peter probably did a quick sum in his head to figure it out "I just...I don't know I felt so inferior to Abi at the time-"

"So you slept with someone?"

"Yes"

"Right who?" Peter questions pacing the room, Carla sighs not knowing whether to reveal this, things had gone too far and she knew it and it wasn't fair that she should keep it from him but she didn't want Peter to go and punch the living daylights out of Ray

"Are you sure you want to know-"

"Tell me, Carla!" Peter shouts, she sighs rubbing her forehead

"Ray Crosby..."

"What?" Peter pulls a face, Carla just bites her lip "No you're lying if this is some sort of a sick joke-"

"It's not!" she shouts tearfully, her emotions overtaking her body "I slept with Ray and I hate myself for it which triggered me to relapse, I didn't mean to do it! We were struggling and then we weren't being us..."

"You made it perfectly clear you didn't want to sleep with me!" Peter exclaims Carla sighs wiping her eyes "You were the one who didn't want to have sex, was it that I wasn't good enough for you?!"

"No, it wasn't! I didn't even want to have sex with Ray, I was hardly in the mood due to that medication I was on!" Carla exclaims "I'm sorry I am but I didn't know what else to do-"

"Well telling me the truth would have been a great start!" Peter shouts bashing his fist on the wall, Carla's lip trembles slightly "Why did you lie?"

"Because I was embarrassed, I felt like a hypocrite!"

"Why didn't you say no?"

"I don't know!" she exclaims before crying, she pulls at her hair "I really don't know why I did it or why I didn't tell you sooner, the guilt was eating me up I was blaming myself and...then it led to being in here"

"And I'm meant to feel sorry for you? Is this what it's about?" Peter questions with a strained laugh, Carla just sighs and shakes her head "So what now?"

"I don't know, I just thought you should know..." she whispers, Peter's eyes widen and he storms out of the room leaving Carla to glance to Dr Williams who smiles at her sympathetically, she wipes her eyes and tries her best to compose herself before leaving the room and going back to hers...

Peter was angry, he was fuming he just felt like his world was ripped out from under his feet the fact that he had been bringing up another mans baby, holding that baby against his chest, their skin touching, it made him feel sick. He rushed home determined to block out the sound Carla's voice in his head telling him that she cheated on him. He rushed home and entered the house, the lights were off which was rather odd as he left the unit rather late after his argument with Carla. He went upstairs and looked for Aziza and Michelle but as soon as he entered the bedroom he saw that Aziza's bedroom was a mess he looked through the cupboards and saw that all her clothes had gone, he ran into Azalea's nursery and the same thing there before taking his phone out to ring Michelle at which she didn't answer causing him to run down the stairs in a blind panic; then he saw it, a note sitting by the kettle, he picked it up and read it leading to confirm that Carla had put this plan together for his own wellbeing, allowing Michelle to take the girls away, that's what hurt the most...