A.N.
HI! I was inspired to write this chapter after looking at July's peaceful, starry eyes when Annie sings maybe. She is just so precious. I can only imagine what she was thinking about. I would encourage all of you to carefully look at the orphans and their expressions during certain scenes, to try and capture the truly enormous emotion that goes through their minds.
"Thank you Pepper!" Duffy exclaimed as the elder orphan put a slight bit of her porridge on her plate. The orphans had established a tradition of singing to a girl and filling up her plate on her birthday.
Duffy was very grateful, and was happy to take advantage of one of the few times that Pepper showed her nice side.
"I left you the worst part!" Pepper joked.
As Duffy began digging in, Annie led the orphans at the table in singing.
"Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you!" All the girls at the other tables joined in, until the orphanage was full of song lauding their good friend Duffy.
One girl at the table never enjoyed this day as much as others. July's birthday is important to her personality, it gives her her name! But the exact date was unknown, so she never knew for sure how old she was. They always celebrated on the fourth of July so it coincided with another holiday. Her backstory was one of the least known of all the girls at the orphanage. She only knew what Kate told her, and Kate knew almost nothing. According to Miss Hannigan, July was one of two infants, (the other being Tessie), that were abandoned at the orphanage after their parents died. Tessie came with a paper noting her birthday, name and who her parents were. July on the other hand was left unmarked.
July was very young, only 4. The thing that made her very sad was not knowing who her parents were. It killed her to think about it. At least Annie knew her parents were alive and coming back for her. Because of this feeling of grief, July spent all of her time with Kate, along with Tessie. She wasn't as sensitive as Molly, and wasn't as scared as Tessie, but she still shared a steadfast bond with Kate, ever since Kate took her in and put her whole heart towards taking care of her.
When all the girls had finished their work and chores, they began to play with a rubber ball by hiding it and seeing who could find it first. But July did not want to play. Tessie came over and asked her what was wrong.
"I don't want to play unless I'm happy, and I can't be happy when my mommy and daddy are dead."
"Oh my goodness! Don't talk like that! We have Kate! And we have Annie and we have friends to make things better!" Tessie reminded her.
"But it isn't the same. I just don't want to play right now."
July went to her room. It was daytime, but the curtains were shut. She lied down on her bed in between Tessie's and Duffy's and curled up in a little ball. In her mind she went through the possibilities of what a mother and father might be like, let alone what hers may be like. Would her father wear a top hat and her mother a silk blouse, and would they dine out every Friday with silver in hand. Or would her father be in suspenders and cap, as her mother, wearing a stained linen dress, might take care of her and her brothers and sister until he came back from his long hard day at work? What work would he do? All July's little head could do was imagine. Imagine who they were and who they could have been, for she knew neither. All she knew was that they were taken away from her and she will never see them again. She began to tear up.
After about an hour Kate came to check on July. She knew that July wanted to be alone, but she didn't want her to be sad. She found July lying down on her bed with wet eyes.
Kate walked over to July and asked her if it was okay for her to sit next to her. July nodded.
"Are you thinking about your parents?" Kate asked.
"Yes."
"I wish you could have known them. I know they must have really loved you."
"Maybe."
There was a long pause before Kate started talking again. "I love you very much, July. I am so lucky to have you as my friend" Kate spent every day of the last four years with July. She loved her with her whole life.
"I love you too Kate." July cried as she got up to give Kate a hug.
July relaxed on Kate's lap until she felt better. It took a while, but July
stopped thinking about her parents' love and started to think about Kate's. She knew that although this orphanage gave no relief from suffering, she still had Kate to dry her tears and take care of her, because she needed it.
It was hard for Kate, but she did what needed to be done for July and Tessie, because she loved them. And if missing play time to just sit with July was needed, it was her responsibility. And Kate was fine with that.