"Meelo, you are almost ten you can meditate without disturbing everyone." Tenzin was scolding the boy as they all came back in for lunch.
"I wasn't doing anything!" The boy protested. "Ow!" he yelped as Ikki swatted at him.
"You throw buggers at me!" Ikki screech hitting her younger brother again. "Ow! Grr" she cried as Meelo hit her back.
Jinora and Asha who had been coming towards Lin, Kya and Katara stopped to look back at the chaos. Pema watched Lin falter slightly walking in front of her holding the tea as she cared out some snacks a few paces behind. Lin could feel her head start to pound as she listened to the two kids and Tenzin yell. She stifled a groan as she almost fell forward gripping the back of the chair hard and nearly dropping the tea she had just retrieved.
"Lin!" Kya exclaimed concerned standing. Tenzin's attention immediately went to her as well as he and Asha came over to her.
"Im fine it'll pass." Lin waved them all off pulling out the chair herself and sitting down. Ignoring the buzzing in her head and black spots in her vision.
"You mean this has happened before?" Katara said, catching the meaning of her words.
"Yes it only happens if i'm overwhelmed or stressed now." Lin said dismissively trying to wave off their concern.
"Lin you probably had major brain damage." Katara fretted. "Don't move and let me see." As she came over to her bending water out of a flower vase.
"I didn't exactly have access to a healer out there besides meditation helps most of the time." She grumbled as Katara bent the water around her head.
"You meditate now?" Kya asked, surprised.
"Have to, only way not to get overwhelmed by these." Lin admitted.
"So you knew how to meditate but didn't remember us?" Bumi asked sitting down next to his sister and took a bite of his apple.
"Physical stuff came back to me if it was triggered but memory never did. Beside I was told to meditate but it came easy to me." Lin shrugged. "Would you stop hovering, I'm fine." She snapped lightly at Tenzin who was still standing over her, who rolled his eyes and huff slightly at her.
"You didn't say you still had them. You said you used to have them." He accused her, crossing his arms.
"No, I just didn't correct you." Lin said dryly. They had begun to borderline ignore each other as the awkwardness of their situation had begun to set in for Tenzin but that didn't mean they still couldn't bicker. He hadn't said anything to her all day spending most of the morning teaching the airbenders as she hung out with Kya and Katara. Pema had been in and out mostly doing chores, which was good because the less Lin had to interact with her the better. She felt bad for the young woman and knew it must be even more awkward for her.
Pema was afraid to lose Tenzin, she loved him more than she had thought possible. For her it had been love at first sight. She knew that he was her soul mate. For him it had been part of a healing process, he grew into loving her and caring about her deeply. She knew that she knew she had loved him first and harder. His first marriage had been all over the papers before she ever came to the island and Lin's death had been the biggest story for weeks on end. She understood he had been in pain because of that and loved him for it because he cared about everything so deeply. But with Lin back she needed to know where she stood. Still she had more or less been pushed to the side by him ever since Lin came back. She resented that, she wasn't just going to sit back and accept that kind of treatment. Though the last four years of wars and revolutions she had begun to look beyond herself and started to seeing she could be more than just a mother. She had enjoyed helping people with Prince Wu and had been much more involved in the community ever since. It had given her new confidence and self worth part of that was not being shoved to the side for just being a mother in the city and at home.
"Can we talk?" She asked when he came into their room that night.
Tenzin froze for a split second, before agreeing. "Yes I think we need to." there is resignation in his voice.
"I don't know what's happening here." she says unsure how to bridge the subject. She had never been one for being direct. Back when they had started dating it had taken her weeks to work up the courage to finally tell him she had a crush on him.
Tenzin sighed as he moved about the room in his normal routine. "A lot is happening. I don't quite know either, to be honest."
Well that wasn't helpful, Pema thought to herself. "Well, what is going on with Lin?" Pema asked, throwing caution to the wind. "I mean she was your wife." Pema doesn't look at him while she speaks instead focusing on turning a comb over in her hands.
"Yes," Tenzin muttered to himself more than to her. "What do you want me to say Pema, I- it's complicated because yes, I love her, but I don't want to hurt you and the kids and," He paused fishing for the right words. "I don't know what I should do."
"You already hurt them." Pema sighed. "Ikki wasn't thrilled not knowing about Lin and neither was Meelo but that's more defensible." Ikki in particular was not thrilled about either being lied to or with Lin and Asha being here. She had more or less sulked away from everyone as she thought they all lied to her, her entire life.
"I thought she was dead." Pema almost winces as the words come out harsher than she had anticipated and she thinks he meant.
"If you leave you're going to hurt them." Pema said plainly because it was a fact. Rohan was still to young to know the difference though and Jinora old enough to understand. "Do it now, when it's easier and don't hurt me over this by dragging this out."
"I don't want to hurt anyone!" Tenzin protested.
"What do you want, Tenzin? Because you've only mentioned obligation not anything you really want." Pema argued, beginning to get irritated at his avoidance. If he stayed and didn't want to stay because he loved her then it was only going to massively blow up in everyones face and that was the last thing Pema wanted. She wanted to treat this like a bandaid and just rip it off now.
"You and the kids aren't an obligation." Tenzin said firmly.
"You know what I mean." She snapped "if you love her more than me. Leave because I'm not living in her shadow."
"You know he has always loved you." Pema said, coming up beside the older woman.
Lin looked over at her, her gaze measured. Both women have yet to really size each other up. Admittedly that was because Pema had been avoiding that as she had just figured out where she was on any of this mess. "Maybe but that was a long time ago." She said her voice carefully controlled.
Pema shook her head sadly. "No he wants you. He was looking for the opposite of you in me, thinking he could move on but he never did. Now you're back and he can leave." Pema told her honestly or maybe she was just justifying it to herself, she had lost track.
Lin appraised her for another long moment before saying, "No, I wouldn't ask that," as she letting out a breath. Pema waited for her to go on because she really didn't know what to say or really if she truly meant that. "You and I, we don't need him. Asha and Jinora don't need him, maybe even Ikki doesn't. Those other two kids do need him though. I've raised a kid on my own. I can't imagine raising three." Lin said ruffly shaking her head.
"Asha turned out pretty great." Pema offered. She was the one who could imagine raising a kid completely on her own with what sounded like serious health issues at least early on. Not to mention having literally no support or memories.
Lin snorted and gave her another appraising look. "I got lucky that she took after Tenzin and Katara instead of literally anyone else in our families." she muttered. "And it bothered her growing up without a Dad, it bothered me, now that I can remember it. So no I wouldn't ask him to do that to his kids."
In that moment Pema was once again reminded of her first impression of Lin. A warrior who could carry the world on her shoulders that same look was about her now, because Pema could tell she was one hundred percent sincere. She was willing to take losing Tenzin for the kids sake, kids she barely knew. Pema admired that about her. Part of her wanted to take her offer and be done with this mess, Lin would leave and she'd never have to deal with this again. Part of her, the logical part of her, knew that it had felt like sometimes she had barely been a substitute for this woman for the last 15 years. How the hell would she even get back to there, now that they both knew Lin was alive and well somewhere in the world. And she was strong too, she could be, would be fine.
"Lin, I've never been you and I never will be." She glances over at the older woman who is studying her. "I've always come in second behind you. I knew that long before now."
"I'm sorry." She means it too, Pema can hear it in her voice. "He shouldn't put you through that."
"It wasn't like that most of the time. I'd never noticed most of the time, then all the sudden something would remind him of you and it would be clear as day. I make it sound worse than it was." Pema tells her not wanting her pity.
"Still for the boy's sake he shouldn't do this." Lin muttered looking back out to the city.
"Maybe, but we're all going to be miserable if this continues." Pema says. "If he doesn't want to stay then I don't want him to. I don't have a sham marriage." It's true. Pema doesn't want this but she can't keep sleeping in the same room as him and pretending everything is normal like before Lin. Lin and Tenzin were getting on each other's nerves over it too. Lin still admitiment over not making a move on him and he, still trying to convince her otherwise. She had talked with him the other night they were both on the same page their marriage needed to end before they started hating each other. Even if Lin didn't love him it was clear to Pema that she couldn't take his pinning even then. He would always love Lin more than her and she was just going to have to let him go for them both.
"I talked to Pema and we both agree it's over between us." Tenzin said finally. They had been standing looking out over the the temple for a while chit chatting
"What about the kids, Ten?" Lin ran a hand through her hair. "I hated growing up without a dad and Asha didn't like any better either."
"It's different. I'll be around." Tenzin protested.
"You and I both know that's not the same and being a dad meant the world to you." Lin said.
"Lin," Tenzin started.
"No Tenzin think" Lin implored him, cutting him off. "You've barely thought about this! Ever since we met again you've just been dead set about this."
She could see his jaw clench. "I love you!" He retorted angrily. The silent stretched on for a long minute as Lin crossed her arms, not backing down. Then he tried a different tact, stepping close to her and speaking quietly, said. "I've loved you since we were kids. And every day I get to spend with you is a blessing because I somehow follow more in love with you." He grabs her, pulling her closer and she could feel his hands on her waist burning through her clothes.
She closed her eyes and put a hand on his chest in an attempt to stop him. "Tenzin…" she warns him. He was reciting their wedding vows to her and she could feel her resolve on this weakening.
"You complete me. You are the strongest, most selfless, most amazing person I've ever met. And it was an honor to finally call you my wife and that's still what you are to me." His forehead is now resting against hers as she peaks up at him through her eyelids. "I love you and now that I know you're still alive I'll follow you anywhere to be by your side."
Lin closed her eyes again. "You have to be sure about this" she warns him.
She can feel Tenzin's joy in her agreement. "Lin I was never as sure in my life. The first time and now."
"Okay" she nods against him. She feels him pull back and cup her face with his hands studying her before kissing her finally. She kisses him back. It starts hard and passionate but soon turns long and slow as they both lose themselves in rediscovering each other. They had a long road of head of them putting back together their marriage but they'd figure it out she was sure.
****this takes place over a few days I just couldn't really figure out how to cohesively connect this chapter. also there is probably only an epilogue coming up.