A/N:
Since it's referenced in this chapter, the comic pages referencing Dick's rape by Mirage are in The New Teen Titans issue #84 for those who didn't read/don't remember and want to look it up for a refresher on what exactly happened.
~*~
"Shit shit shit shit, Batsy is not gonna like this," Hal muttered to himself. He bit his lip for a moment, before finally giving in and calling for Batman over the JL communicator. He really hoped this wouldn't be a case of killing the messenger.
"This had better be important, Green Lantern. I was in the middle of something," Bruce's growl came through the comm. Well damn, he already sounded pissed — although he kind of always sounded pissed. Whatever. There was never any winning with Batman.
"Trust me, you're gonna want to see this," Hal said. "Or...hear this."
"What is it? Send it over the JL network."
Hal took a deep breath, and pasted the link. "I just want to preface this by saying I wasn't looking for it, I was just chilling on Twitter, and I happen to follow a bunch of superhero tracker stuff and—"
"Just send the link, Lantern."
"Right." He pressed send.
He heard the moment Bruce opened it, the recording starting to autoplay with the now-familiar, breathy, "Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit," of the filmer, and the squeal of a protesting window being shoved open over top of the yelling from the rooftop. "—that feel, motherfucker? Stronger?! You thought I was stronger than that?"
Hal heard the tap, as Bruce paused the recording.
"Thank you for telling me, Green Lantern. I'll speak with the rest of the JL."
Bruce ended the transmission before he could respond.
Well. That could've gone worse.
~*~
As soon as he hung up on Hal, Bruce was contacting Barbara. "Oracle," he demanded, sternly.
"If this is about the situation, I know, I know, I'm working on damage control right now," Barbara said.
"How did this happen?"
"I fucked up, I know. I wasn't paying much attention, I was working on the case with you, and on some cases with the Birds of Prey, and I thought the first few alerts were nothing. Do you know how many people post whole blogposts or Reddit threads of some small snippet of noise they caught out of their window that they think is a vigilante? I only caught on when it made its way to Twitter this morning and started gaining traction, and now it's been reposted so many times I can't completely wipe it. People will have downloaded it and all I can do is just keep doing damage control."
Bruce sighed. "What are we going to tell Nightwing?"
"He already knows, I talked to him and apologized this morning when I found out. I told him to expect that Vicki Vale has probably already gotten a recording — there's almost no chance there won't be some stupid article about it. I've deleted a lot of the tweets, but it's still kind of blowing up."
Bruce sighed again. "Don't worry about it. It's too far gone now. Could you tell the rest of the bats, if they don't already know? Red Robin is calling me right now, so I'm betting he knows."
"Fine. You tell Red Hood though. You didn't catch it either."
He paused. "If Nightwing knows, he knows too."
"You're still calling him. He's called me three times and I can't keep sending it to voicemail."
Bruce heaved the most put-upon sigh yet. "Fine. Batman out." The investors in the Wayne Enterprises conference room would have to wait a few more minutes.
~*~
Jason bit his lip, adjusted his headphones, and replayed the video.
By this point he was positive he had the whole seventeen minute and forty three second video memorized — from the frantic, hushed swearing of the civilian who'd made it at the beginning, to their rambling when he and Tim had showed up.
He was pretty sure he had the rambly explanation on the original post (predictably on the Batwatcher subreddit) memorized too:
I was just 'Wing watching for the night, not expecting to see shit, as usual (especially since he seems to be spotted in Gotham more often than here now), but then I saw Nightwing jump onto my apartment building's roof. Even wilder, *the Red Hood* fucking showed up a few minutes after; I don't think I've ever heard of sightings of him all the way in Blüd, but you gotta believe me. I didn't catch any pics, but I know what I saw. I thought they were both long gone (a few minutes later I heard a man saying "stop it, I said stop" or something like that and I just assumed it was someone on the street, but now I think it might've been Nightwing), but then like five or ten minutes later one of them started screaming — pretty sure it's Nightwing, you'll see why in the vid. Obviously, I started recording as soon as possible, almost dropped my fucking phone out the window.
Fucking *Red Robin* and then Red Hood again showed up partway thru the vid, and then ALL the bats showed up at the end, it was fucking crazy. I grew up in Gotham and used to Batwatch all the time, and I never saw more than like 3 at once, absolute tops.
You know the drill: download and repost as much as possible so it doesn't get completely wiped. I seriously can't believe I fucking caught this. Batman is gonna murder me. If I turn up dead, you know what happened.
The post was almost as frantic as their gibbering at the beginning of the video.
"Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit," the filmer babbled, as they shoved their window open.
"—that feel, motherfucker? Stronger?! You thought I was stronger than that? Does that feel fucking weak to you? You useless fucking goddamn piece of shit bastard! Did you like that? Huh? Was it worth it, you son of a bitch? Did that feel good?" he heard Dick screaming.
"Oh my god," the person filming whispered. "Holy shit."
"Did you enjoy tricking me into thinking someone I cared about, someone I trusted, was touching me? Was taking advantage of me?" The voice in the recording took on an ever-more-hysterical note as he continued shouting.
"Did you think I needed another fucking rapist? You think I haven't fucking been through enough? Think you get to put your grubby hands on me just because you wanted to?" He let out a sob.
"I am so fucking sick of this shit!" he said. "I am not a fucking sex toy! I am a PERSON!" By the end his voice had ramped back up to a scream, somehow even louder and more hysterical than the last. "A person! A living, breathing human being! And I am so goddamn sick of you people. Do you fucking hear me?! I am sick of this shit. You do not get to just USE my body as a fucking TOOL to get yourself off."
Jason's heart ached at the pain in his voice and the dehumanization he'd been made to feel.
"Please!" A different voice shrieked, pleading.
"You don't get to talk now," Dick thundered. "You did your fucking talking. Now you listen to me. The next time you speak, it will be to beg forgiveness at the feet of whatever higher power may exist — and I pray that they are even less merciful than me."
There was an awful, ear-splitting shriek.
"Where's your magic now, huh? You can make yourself look and sound like someone else, but you can't defend yourself?"
The voice screaming in pain broke painfully in the middle. It was incoherent - the scream of one whose entire world is pain, with no room for anything else.
Dick's voice dropped so that it was unintelligible in the recording, and Jason didn't know if it was because he remembered how Dick had sounded through the comms, or if the recording had caught how cold and mocking his tone was.
"—hope you fucking enjoyed touching me, because you're never gonna touch anything else ever again." Dick's voice raised to an audible level again, though it was partially drowned out by the screaming that began again toward the end.
"Is this what you wanted? Huh? Is this what you fucking wanted?" His voice was back to hysterical. "Nobody's gonna fucking miss you, you waste of fucking air—" his voice caught on another sob, and the voice screaming in agony broke again.
Jason felt sick, but he didn't stop the shaky video, which mostly just showed the shadowed brick of the apartment building next door with the occasional glimpse of the window frame.
Dick's voice had dropped again so the words couldn't be made out anymore, and abruptly the screaming stopped.
The disturbing silence only seemed to incense him further, though, and he continued ranting back at full volume. "Stupid dumbshit goddamn motherfucker, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! I hope you feel every bit of suffering I'm going to feel; I hope every single time I think about this, you're overcome with pain so bad you can't fucking breathe. I hope you never recover from tonight, and I hope you choke on every damn breath you take when I'm having nightmares. You like magic so much?! I hope you fucking like it then, you sack of irredeemable shit! I hope you fucking enjoy it when I resurrect your worthless corpse just to make you suffer more. Is this what you thought was gonna happen? Huh? Is this what you thought of when you were planning this? Is it worth it? Was it fucking worth it?"
There were a couple beats of silence, and then the ever-increasing roar of motorcycles before the civilian filming spoke up again in a rushed whisper. "Oh my god. Oh my god nobody's ever going to believe me. I swear to fucking god, Red Hood just jumped from the roof next to my building onto mine — I didn't catch it, but holy shit — and Red Robin just pulled up like a bat out of hell at the same time. He's just idling on his bike on the street right below my fucking window staring up at the roof."
The camera was shaky, but Tim could clearly be seen on the street below. "What is he doing— oh holy shit, I think he saw me." The video blurred as the filmer scrambled backward. "I hope I got some footage of him, I'm too scared to go back to the window — I don't want the bats to fucking delete this shit, I've had pics go missing before."
All that could be heard from the roof was indistinct mumbling for several minutes, before there was a sharp bark of laughter that broke off into sobbing.
"Holy shit," the civilian mumbled again. "I think Nightwing's fucking lost it. I don't— well, I haven't heard any gunshots so I guess the Red Hood isn't putting anybody out of their misery."
"Stop drawing it out! I can't deal with this again. I can't..." Dick's voice faded into mumbling again at the end.
"Definitely losing it," the filmer commentated. "I probably would be too, though." They listened for another few long minutes. "That might be all for tonight, I can't hear shit. Red Robin's still on the street below my window, though. I don't know if I should...turn it off?
"I should probably upload this ASAP so people can start reuploading before the bats can delete it. Don't wanna miss anything though— oh fuck, oh fuck," the camera shakily tilted up out the window and caught several shadows moving toward the rooftop, and a blur of red and black as Red Robin grappled up. "That's like. Holy shit, like all the bats and birds and everyone is, like, converging on the roof. What the fuck, I've never seen so many in one place at once — did I get that? Please tell me I caught at least some of them on video."
A siren sounded in the distance, and a door slammed. "Fuck, was that the roof door? Jesus fuck oh my god that's the Batmobile."
The camera shakily tilted out the window onto the street below where the bright yellow of the Signal's costume was plainly visible as he helped put...something into the backseat of the Batmobile.
"Oh my god, oh my god is that the person Nightwing was beating the shit out of? Jesus, there's no way they're alive, that's prob'ly why Red Hood didn't bother to shoot 'em — I wonder if Bats is getting rid of the body. He's all justice, but I bet he'd hide a body for Nightwing. There's no way one of them hasn't fucked up and killed someone at least once."
The Batmobile tore off with a squeal of tires, and the person filming sighed. "I guess that's it."
The video ended, and rather than clicking replay for a fourth time, Jason scrolled down the replies.
He had been watching a reupload on Twitter, and the replies were, predictably for Twitter, all over the fucking place.
SEXY IN A RAT KINDA WAY @gthmbbydoll
"The next time you speak it will be to beg forgiveness at the feet of whatever higher power may exist I pray that they are even less merciful than me" What a fucking RAW ASS LINE oh my g-d. Like I feel bad for Nightwing, but also HOLY SHIT
Blüdhaven Bitch @loserloserloser
@gthmbbydoll Ikr??? Like. Not glad he was in the position to have to say that but like, WHAT A LINEEEE
Robin is my son uwu @bbrobin
@gthmbbydoll @loserloserloser Idk still kinda feels disrespectful to make light of??
SEXY IN A RAT KINDA WAY @gthmbby
@bbrobin That's fair
*Princess* @gothamslut
Hnng, anybody else think Nightwing absolutely just fucking losing it is kinda hot? Like,babe SNAPPED. Always had a thing for bad boys ig. Damn. Wish we could've SEEN it.
KATHY'S BAT ACCT @batsnburds
@gothamslut Yikes, read the fucking room, he just got r*ped, maybe don't thirst after him rn????
Like did you miss the whole section of the recording about not objectifying him????????
Nightwing's Baby Mama @NgtwngsA$$
@batsnburds Chill, it's Not That Deep. We all know Nightwing's the hottest vigilante out there so mind ya business and keep scrolling. Thirsting's a god given RIGHT with an ass like that
*Princess* @gothamslut
@NgtwngsA$$
WendyWilliamsWarpedSip img
OwO *glomps you* @batmanisafurry
@gothamslut @NgtwngsA$$ Ya'll r the literal worst of the worst wtf who says that. Gross.
KATHY'S BAT ACCT @batsnburds
@gothamslut @NgtwngsA$$
WhatCanISayExceptDeleteThisGif
Wonder Woman step on me @mccrick87
Final proof Nightwing is the worst "superhero" (if you can even call him that). Didn't fight the guy til AFTER? Weakkkkkk
YEEHAW TIME @greenlanternbabeyyy
@mccrick87 FUCK YOU
Comrade Elmo @MetropolisHateAcct
@mccrick87 fuck u
Scarecrow Suck My Fking Ass @bootythief
@mccrick87 Fuck you!!!!!
Superman fanboy @supesismyreligion
@mccrick87 Way to fucking victim blame, asshole. Men can be raped too. He's not weak for it happening wtf is wrong with you
OwO *glomps you* @batmanisafurry
@mccrick87 Nvm, THIS guy is the literal worst
Wonder Woman step on me @mccrick87
@greenlanternbabeyyy @MetropolisHateAcct @bootythief @supesismyreligion @batmanisafurry WHY ARE YOU BOOING ME I'M RIGHT! WHY IS HE EVEN IN THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, WEAK ASS BITCH
[plant emoji] @poisonivystan
@greenlanternbabeyyy @MetropolisHateAcct @bootythief @supesismyreligion @batmanisafurry
@mccrick87 is right, you're all just on Nightwing's side because he's pretty. Nightwing's not gonna fuck you, give it up!
TheyHatedJesusBecauseHeToldTheTruth img
One Bitch Two Bitch @RedBitchBlueBitch
@mccrick87 @poisonivystan fuck you!
Red Robin @ActualRedRobin
@mccrick87 Fuck you, you don't know jack shit u sentient shitstain
And @poisonivystan ur a fucking disgusting excuse for a human being
Scarecrow Suck My Fking Ass @bootythief
@mccrick87 @poisonivystan holy fuck, you guys even got Red Robin out here to tell you what dicks you are (and once again, fuck you)
23 more replies
One "It's Not Unusual" @batstanbabe
"Did you think I needed another fucking rapist?"
ANOTHER
[insert approximately 5,000 crying emojis]
Rat King @allmyuwus
@batstanbabe "i am not a fucking sex toy. i am a PERSON. a PERSON. a living breathing human being."
[insert 50 million crying emojis]
All the Nightwing thirst and the ass jokes are starting to feel really icky now
One "It's Not Unusual" @batstanbabe
@allmyuwus Agreed
*Sad Clown Honk* @BooBooTheFool
@batstanbabe @allmyuwus Who could have predicted that objectifying and dehumanizing ppl was bad and gross, actually /s
Rat King @allmyuwus
@BooBooTheFool no need to be a dick. Like everybody does it, and it's mostly a joke. It's not like we *knew*
*Sad Clown Honk* @BooBooTheFool
@allmyuwus Yeah that's kinda the point. You never know what people have been through. Which is why you shouldn't do it at all
Red Hood can GET IT @vigilantewatchh2
Ngl hope Nightwing actually beat him to death...dude deserved it #KillAllRapists
Trent @batmanisbetterthanyou
@vigilantewatchh2 How can you joke like that?????? The vid was fucking disturbing. Like hello? Do you want vigilantes to just murder people now??
Red Hood can GET IT @vigilantewatchh2
@batmanisbetterthanyou I wasn't joking... but go off ig (i said what i said lol)
Jason closed twitter and let out a sigh. Yeah, he really shouldn't have been looking at this shit in the first place.
He felt kind of better though, knowing Tim had seen that asshole's tweet. He had no doubt that Tim had already installed malware on all the asshole's (and, no doubt, his stupid friend's too) devices. Small victories.
"It's fine, I'm fine," he heard Dick say from the living room — for probably the fourteenth time that day. People had been calling nonstop pretty much all day.
Clark had been the first, and Jason had sleepily picked up while Dick was having his morning meltdown in the bathroom. Clark had had to go back to work — which was where he'd found out about the situation — but he'd promised to call back later on his lunch break. Diana had always been Jason's favorite since he was a little kid, but he had to admit Clark had a comforting way about him.
Talking with him like that had reminded Jason of when he was Robin, before he died, and the way Clark would mediate between him and Bruce. Or hearing from Bruce how Clark was once again getting involved with the arguments between Dick and Bruce. No matter what, he knew he could trust Clark to have Dick's back — even with his insistence that he should have heard, should have been able to intervene. Jason had just tiredly told him to shut up.
"Uncle Clark...come on. You may be Superman, but you can't be expected to hear literally everything at once. You were busy with Luthor's shenanigans again, it's not your fault."
Babs had called next, thankfully once Dick was done in the bathroom. Dick had sounded utterly apathetic as he'd talked to her, accepting everything she told him with a dead-sounding voice.
The calls had barely let up since then (including an awkward and unfortunate call to Jason from Bruce). Diana, Roy, Donna, Selina, Kory, Wally, Kate, and plenty of others Jason hadn't caught had all called Dick, trying to check in. He'd tried to tell Dick it was okay to turn off his phone, because he was clearly (and understandably) upset, but Dick had just shook his head and picked up the next incoming call.
At least all the calls were hopefully keeping him off of social media.
~*~
The next day, it didn't matter whether Dick had managed to stay off of social media or not. The Gotham Gazette had run a stupid fucking editorial asking 'DO GOTHAM VIGILANTES HAVE TOO MUCH LEEWAY?' which was, of course, all about the video.
A video has surfaced over the past few days, which appears to contain audio of the vigilante known as 'Nightwing' beating a person to death in Blüdhaven. The audio is graphic, and viewer discretion is advised should the reader seek it out.
The audio seems to imply that Nightwing's violent actions were a reaction to the victim having raped him. As citizens of this city, though, we must ask ourselves: is it safe to allow someone who commits such acts to run about unchecked? Nightwing has been known to show up in Gotham often, and no matter the circumstances, murder — or attempted murder — is still a crime. How can we feel safe knowing that at any time a vigilante could decide to take a life?
Nightwing has already stepped over the line before. Several years ago, he turned himself and a fellow vigilante in for the murder of Blüdhaven resident Mr. Roland Desmond. He was acquitted, but now that he has shown himself willing to step over the line again, is it safe to let him continue to walk a free man?
The whole article was utter bullshit, but at least plenty of people didn't seem to agree with it; #fuckthegothamgazette and #istandwithnightwing were trending on Twitter.
"I don't care about it," Dick had said, when Jason tried to bring the article up over breakfast. "I just don't care, they can say whatever they want."
He still sounded dead and numb, but Jason decided to let it go and instead focus on action. A nice, strongly-worded letter to the Gazette couldn't go wrong.
~*~
Jason found himself smiling at the editorial page a day later. They were still being stubborn assholes, but it was a step up from yesterday's article.
Yesterday our office received a package containing a threatening note signed by the Red Hood — another Gotham vigilante who has shown himself willing to commit murder — along with a loaded gun. Unfortunately, the Gotham City Police Department was unable to obtain any fingerprints or DNA from either. The gun, however, appears to be the murder weapon used in several drug- and gang-related homicide cold cases.
The note, which was in relation to yesterday's article, listed (along with some rather unsavory language toward our writers) the name and personal information of the victim of the violence displayed by the vigilante known as Nightwing in the recording that we reported on yesterday. The note also said that this man (who will remain unnamed) is currently a patient at Gotham General Hospital, and not, as we (and the unnamed maker of the aforementioned recording) speculated, dead.
Our reporters were able to confirm that the man in the note is indeed in Gotham General Hospital in the Intensive Care Unit, comatose and in critical condition; however, there is no proof that he is actually the victim. Certain injuries point to it being a possibility, or even perhaps likely, but there is no definitive proof.
~*~
"So. What did you want to talk about?" Jason finally asked, stuffing another fry into his mouth and shifting on the uncomfortable vinyl of the shitty diner booth seat.
Kory sighed and leaned her head on her hand. "Just...Dick. I am worried about him, and I do not know whether it is really my place to try to help, since I really...did not do a good job last time. I do not want to fail him again, though."
"Right," Jason said, trailing a fry through ketchup and not looking up at her. "The Mirage incident. I've been meaning to ask about that. What exactly happened?"
She looked down at the table, frowning. "There is not much to tell. She pretended to be me, they slept together, and the next day she dropped it on us both. He had no idea, but I was so mad, I...I did not handle it well. I felt betrayed, but that is no excuse — I said some awful things. I... I kept asking him which one of us was better, and Pantha called him a slut and I just...let her."
Jason blew out a slow breath. "You're my friend and you know I love you, but...fuck you. You know he still thinks that, right? Right after it happened, he called himself a slut."
Kori closed her eyes. "I am sorry," she said quietly. "I am sorry. I apologized later, once I had thought about the situation and realized he was in a worse position than I was, but...that does not really make up for it. I should not have guilted him over it in the first place, and I should not have let her say that. It was not his fault."
They fell to silence for a bit before she spoke up again.
"I should have known. When I broke up with him, he seemed convinced it was about that, no matter how I tried to explain that it was not."
"You guys broke up when I was dead, right?" Jason asked.
"Not long after you died, yes. I had hoped that after nine years we would be able to be on better terms. As I am sure you have noticed, we have been pretty distant ever since then. I have tried to be a friend, but we are more like acquaintances, and apparently nearly a decade has not changed that. I do not know how to be there for him right now."
"He never says anything bad about you, I don't think he dislikes you."
Kory sighed again, and stole one of Jason's fries. "Well that is just it, is it not? He does not dislike me, but he is not particularly fond of me either. I just...do not know if that means me trying to get involved and be supportive is just making things worse, or..."
Jason shook his head. "Wish I had an answer, but I don't think I do. Just...do whatever seems right to you. A lot of times I think even I'm making it worse by trying to be there for him, so... I really don't know."
Kory nodded tiredly and stole another fry. "Okay, yes, I suppose. Do you have any leads on the new Outlaws case you sent out?"
"Yeah..."
By the time Jason was done having lunch with Kory, his spirits were much higher. They immediately plummeted again, however, when he entered the flat to hear Dick crying again.
"I'm sorry Donna, I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me," he heard through the wall, and he sighed, turning back around and leaving the apartment quietly.
He got back onto his bike and started it up, sending out a quick text and then taking off again.
~*~
Back in the bedroom, Dick took his phone away from his face after it chimed, indicating he had a message. He sniffled and wiped at his eyes.
"Hold on a second Donna, I got a message."
Jay
I'll bring home stuff to make dinner around 7 okay? Love you
4:16 PM
"It's from Jay. He's being horribly nice again. I hate this, I don't know how to handle it. I feel like I'm just taking advantage and turning around and being an asshole and pushing him away, but I don't know how to stop. And especially in the mornings, when it's so fresh in my mind all over again, he's right there and it's him — he looks the same, he sounds the same — and it's just so hard to remember that it isn't him, and—" he cut off on another sob.
"And— I know it's not really him, I do, I know he would never, but I just keep remembering when it was happening, the betrayal was the worst part. Thinking he'd planned it, thinking he didn't care, that he wasn't going to stop. I can still feel it, exactly how it felt, the fear, the panic. Even though I know it's not him, my instincts say it is."
Donna made a sympathetic noise. "I'm sorry Dickie, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to tell you; I can listen but I don't know what to tell you. Does it help if maybe he's not there when you wake up? Maybe he could sleep on the couch, or stay at Roy's place or another of your safehouses for a bit or something?"
Dick sniffled again and wiped his face with his sleeve. "He offered to, but I feel even more like an asshole kicking him out of his own apartment."
"Well if he offered—"
"Still," Dick cut her off. "He offers all sorts of shit, I would still feel bad taking him up on it. He's already being so understanding and I don't want to push it." He took a deep breath, and when he spoke again his voice was small and shaky. "I'm so fucking afraid it's gonna be too much one day and he's gonna leave me just like Kory did.
"I just don't want him to leave me." Dick sounded genuinely scared. "I don't want him to leave me, I need him here, as selfish as that sounds. I love him, I want him around, and he's still a major part of my support system, but at the same time it's so hard to have him here when he looks and sounds like... I don't know. It's complicated. I don't know what I want. I never seem to know anymore. And I just can't stop pushing him away and I'm terrified it's finally gonna be too much."
"Oh Dick, he's not gonna leave you, he loves you."
Dick let out a short, humorless laugh. "You don't know that. Just love isn't enough, Donna, don't be naïve. He's gonna wake up and realize any day now that he doesn't have to be dragged down by me."
"Dick..." There was a beep, and she sighed, apparently giving up on trying to talk him out of his pessimistic thoughts. "Wally's calling me. Do you want me to add him to the call?"
"Yeah, go ahead."
There was another beep, and then, "Hey Donna!"
"Hi Walls," Dick said.
"I was just talking to Dick and I added you to the call, I hope you don't mind," Donna said.
"Not at all! I was gonna call you next anyway, Dick. How you holding up?"
"Ehhhh," Dick said. "Just. Ehhhhhhhhh."
"That's fair; what's up with you, Donna?"
"Not much. I think Diana has been hooking up with Mera and Arthur, and it's getting a bit awkward because she's trying to hide it from me for some reason."
"Ooh spicy," Wally said, and Donna and Dick both laughed. "I suppose she's a good choice though, since she can actually go to their place underwater without dying, right? Although I suppose there's always Clark."
Donna snorted. "I'm pretty sure Lois isn't one for sharing, but who knows. Plus, they can make those air bubbles for people, right? I bet Batman has some sort of underwater scuba suit or something too."
"Ew, I don't want to think about Batman getting laid, it's too weird. Him and Catwoman's shit is weird enough without more," Wally said.
"Yeah, I'd rather not think about...that," Dick agreed. He did actually really like Selina, but their...relationship was pretty fucking weird. The animal personas weren't really a help with that.
"Just wait until you guys find out how you were made," Donna teased.
"Oh, did B birth me now?" Dick asked, at the same time Wally said, "You're made of clay, you don't get to talk."
Donna laughed so hard she snorted, and eventually the other two joined in.
"I concede, enough talk about that sort of thing," she finally said, when she caught her breath. "How's Linda doing?"
"Oh, fine," Wally responded. "I'm pretty sure she still loves the cat more than me, but what's new? He's got a nice new cat condo, which he hasn't used once. The box it came in, however..."
"Cats," Dick and Donna said in unison.
"Exactly," Wally sighed. "Cats."
~*~
Dick felt a lot better after talking with Donna and Wally for a few hours. Jason had come home at some point and was singing show tunes to himself as he cooked, and Dick found himself humming along to 'The Phantom of the Opera' as he put away the clean laundry that had been dumped on Jason's desk chair the past weekend. Whatever Jason was cooking smelled amazing.
Jason tapped on the bedroom door and nudged it open. "Dinner's ready, sweetheart. You going out on patrol with me after?"
"Yeah. One second," Dick said, finishing folding a shirt, and setting it on the pile.
Jason set his plate down in front of him as he slid into his chair at the table.
"Thanks Jay," he said warmly.
"Mhm." Without thinking, Jason tilted his head down and puckered his lips for a quick kiss.
Dick felt his good mood dissipate. Right. This was real life, where he was constantly holding his boyfriend at arms length and disappointing him. He shook his head slightly and looked down at his plate.
Jason grimaced. Ah, fuck. He'd already done that like half a dozen times in the last couple of weeks. He really didn't mean to, it was just an automatic muscle memory thing, but he knew that didn't really help the situation.
Sure, Jason apologized every time, but that didn't mean it wasn't potentially making Dick feel pressured or guilty. Really, Jason didn't have a problem at all with the reduced contact — he missed it sometimes, but what he missed was how it used to be, not how it would actually be if he tried to kiss him now. The issue was, he was well aware if he didn't get a handle on himself and stop fucking up, it wouldn't matter what he said, Dick would still think that he was getting impatient about not being able to touch or kiss him.
He pulled out his own chair, and sat down heavily, laying his hand on the table next to Dick's but not touching.
"Sorry sweetheart, I'm just on autopilot."
Dick nodded vaguely, still not looking at him, and nibbled on his garlic bread.
"I'm not..." Jason took a deep breath, wiping his other hand over his face. "I can't tell if I'm making things better or worse by saying all this every time, or if you even believe me. But I really am okay with this, and I'm not trying to push you or anything."
There was a small clink as Dick dropped his bread back onto the plate. He picked up his fork instead, and pushed his food around in silence for a few minutes before finally speaking up.
"I miss kissing you," he mumbled. "I just...it's..." he trailed off with a sigh, and let his fork fall onto the plate too.
"Hey. Dickie. Look at me?"
Dick finally met his eyes.
"It's okay," Jason said, trying to channel all the reassurance and conviction he had in him into his eyes and voice.
He laid his hand on top of Dick's — slowly, giving him time to move away if he wanted.
"This alright?"
Dick nodded, and flipped his hand under Jason's so he could intertwine their fingers. Jason stared down at their hands, rubbing his thumb over the side of Dick's, and had a sudden thought.
He only debated for a minute before deciding, fuck it, why not ask? The worst that could happen was Dick calling him an idiot.
"So, uh, feel free to call me a fuckin' nerd and shove me into a locker..." he started, and Dick sighed. This was surely going somewhere eventful.
"But, you remember when I made you watch the original Star Trek series with me?" Jason continued.
"I'm unlikely to forget. Not that it wasn't good, it was just...long."
"Okay, yeah, well I watched all of Grey's fuckin' Anatomy for you, so—" he paused, interrupting himself. "Anyway. Not everyone kisses with their mouth."
Dick's brows furrowed. "What are you even talking about?"
Jason made a frustrated noise, and held his free hand out toward Dick with the first two fingers together and extended forward, and the rest curled into a loose fist.
Dick looked dubiously down at it.
"Like Vulcans?" Jason pressed, and he saw understanding finally dawn in Dick's eyes.
Oh great, and now Dick was laughing at him. It was very quiet, almost under his breath, but he was definitely laughing.
"You're absolutely a fucking nerd and I'm going to find a locker just to shove you into," he said, but he extended the fingers of his free hand the same way, and pressed the pads to Jason's.
A small smile played around the corners of Dick's mouth, and Jason couldn't help but grin back. He crooked his fingers slightly against Dick's, and...this was actually kind of nice. Not the same as regular kissing, obviously — they were just two humans, not Vulcans with extra sensitive fingertips — but there was a nice solidness to it. A centralized, reassuring contact, a bit of pressure just to say I'm here and I care about you.
"Well maybe I am, but I did find a solution," Jason said, still grinning.
Dick looked at him with such softness that Jason felt a small lump start to rise in his throat.
"God, I love you so much."
Jason swallowed hard in an attempt to speak normally. "Love you too, angel."
He didn't want to fuck things up by drawing attention to it, but Dick had actually said it. He'd said he loved him. For the first time since That Night, he'd actually said it — and not even just in response to Jason saying it, but completely unprompted on his own.
Dick still loved him.
"You're really stupid," Dick added, in the same unbearably soft, adoring voice.
Jason's smile widened. "Yeah," he agreed fervently.
Dick actually still loved him.
He didn't mind being called stupid. It was, after all, probably true — he'd done and said plenty of stupid things in his life. But he thought he rather liked his stupid ideas if they got him this.