10-24-2020

Part 1 of the gala. This is direct continuation of the last chapter.

As per the facebook poll, Ana will be wearing the Jenny Packham Cindy Petal dress :)

CG's speech is literally from Grey by EL JAmes, I made some minor changes to fit it to this scenario. I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING except for the plotline variation of the story. Just wanna put that out there before i'm hit with some copyright shiz.

I cannot be this way with you, I cannot feel this way so soon.

Her eyes were wide and her voice wavered as she spoke. "I don't want to have any more biological children, Chris."

Chris stared at her for a few moments. Ana swallowed and moved away to create some distance before abruptly sitting up. This felt like the eerie calm before the storm.

"You really don't want to have anymore children?" He asked. A part of him was feeling rejected. Karma was the only word that resounded loudly in his head.

"You're more than welcome to get the vasectomy reversal but I'm not going off the shot." She said a little firmly.

"You're on the shot?" What the hell? He thought before sitting up.

She looked at him confused. "Yeah, I mean... I wasn't going to take a chance getting pregnant again."

"But you said you weren't dating that—" He paused. She wasn't dating...

"The shot isn't just to prevent pregnancy. I had made the decision to start dating early this year and went on the shot four months ago after I stopped breastfeeding. I just never got around to the dating part..." She tightened her jaw and moved to get off the bed. She didn't want to be near him for some reason. "I told you, I had given up on you and I needed to move on. I'm a human being. I need love and affection too and—" Her voice trailed.

She wanted to feel desired. Motherhood was profound and fulfilling but her own personhood lacked in so many ways. She was lonely.

"So that's your final decision, you don't want anymore children with me?" His voice was now cold.

She looked at him. He wasn't getting it. He was taking it personally. "I can't go through what happened again. I can't lose Spencer again." Her voice grew thick and her eyes filled with tears. All her rational and irrational fears were coming up to the surface. "There was so many things wrong with me during my pregnancy, I have barely recovered, I will not put myself or Belle at risk by getting pregnant again." They stared at each other. "You want to get the reversal, go ahead. I fully support you. I'll even throw you a party and bake you a cake but please don't expect me to fall in line with your plans for life no questions asked."

He was taken aback by her tone. It wasn't new but it was still something he had to get used to. "I won't leave you, Ana. I'm here to stay."

He still doesn't get it. Ana shook her head in frustration. "We have been in each other's life for five minutes and you're already making these plans. There is so much we don't know about each other. I mean you have this entire lifestyle you were a part of that I have no understanding of and the biggest thing here is that you were literally engaged to be married a month ago and now you're in bed with me telling me you want to have another baby—I mean, you want us to what... go from 0 to 60 in a second? And—"

"I told you, I didn't love her it was a marriage of convenience, how many times do you want me to repeat that fact." He said firmly, narrowing his eyes at her.

"SEE! That is what I don't understand about you. Fine, when we met and we slept together, it was a mutual decision. We both were vulnerable but you made the decision to leave. You made the decision to come back and never look into me. You claim that you just found yourself in a relationship with Lillian and then randomly got engaged to her to marry her. All I see is impulsiveness... it astounds me that a person of your intelligence with this level of success can be so emotionally cavalier in his personal life."

Chris had no comeback but his anger won over.

"YOU were impulsive too. You ran. Instead of talking to me, you ran."

"RAN? I was already on my way out of the country. You were in the air coming back to NYC. And my so called impulsiveness was me trying to do the right thing because SHE WAS YOUR FIANCE just five minutes ago. What the hell was I supposed to think?"

She tried to control her temper but it was hard.

"Is this how you're going to punish me now? I am trying Ana. I want a life with you and I want us to move forward together. Everything I have I want to "

Ana scoffed before looking up, trying her best not to lash out and cry and maintain some sense of calm.

"It's so easy for you. You get to come back and there's room for you here. You've walked into a well oiled machine but there is so much that you don't know. I just told Belle you're her father and she doesn't understand. Parenthood requires sacrifice Chris, I am running two businesses and raising a toddler. I don't have fucking time to go through the ups and downs of a pregnancy and put my life on the line like last time. I mean, as it is, I barely get 15 minutes to myself where I can just sit in a corner and cry because that is the only way I can process my negative emotions which are a lot. Other times, I need to be present and collected for Belle."

Chris looked down at the bed, taking in what she was saying. She was making sense but at the same time his own insecurities and desires were at war with the voice of common sense.

"You have this gigantic empire that you alone run, do you really think you can handle fulltime parenthood? These are things you really need to think about. Belle is a fairly easy kid, thank god but still she require love, affection and most of attention. Her world is small and she gets attached really easily. I've tried to keep her life and wants simple but there is a lot that you need to learn and it will take time."

"I am willing to put in the time and learn. You need to give me a chance."

"I am giving you a chance but it can't be at full speed. She needs time too, it has to be gradual. Just like you and I need to gradual. Just because we love each other doesn't mean this between us will end up working out. It may become very apparent in the coming months that maybe we're just better off as co-parents." Her voice trembled. It was a scary thought but still a reality they could have to face.

He stood up and raised his voice a little. "How can you say that? I cannot accept anything less than being with you. I told you, I am not leaving and I will do everything I can to prove to you that I'm here for you both."

"In this dynamic, I come first because I'm not wearing the oxygen mask, I cannot help Belle. I'm sorry but that's just the way it is. 95% of my decision making is with Belle in mind. Yes, Belle needs a father but she doesn't need the both of us together especially if it becomes apparent that we're not compatible."

"Sometimes it feels like you really don't want to be with me." He snapped. "As if you're fighting us with every fiber of your being."

She shook her head in disappointment. "This conversation is too big and complex for this small pocket of time. I have to be in front of a camera in another two hours and look happy and then tonight I have to be in a different headspace to deal with everything. I can't do this right now." She mumbled.

"Yeah, go ahead. You're always this happy person for the world but with me, I guess I'm never going to experience you that way." He muttered.

"Fuck you, Chris. That person you see on youtube... that's Belle's mom. The woman I want to be. Happy. Not this heartbroken and beaten down version. I don't want Belle to remember me like this when she looks back on her childhood. And everything you think you know about me from all these videos and press, it's all highlights of the highlights. The shit I've been through, there are things I cannot even verbalize so don't come at me with your petulance." She seethed. "I have been dealing with loss and some form of abuse my entire life, so excuse me for wanting to a different version of myself."

He ran his hands through his hair. Confrontation wasn't something he was used especially when it meant getting called out on his shit. He wasn't in a position of power right now. A place where he was comfortable. That was something he had to learn fast. He wasn't a Dom anymore, he wasn't Ana's boss he was her equal though it had become increasingly apparent that he barely had a leg to stand on in the wake of how everything transpired since he had come into her life.

On the other hand, Ana hated every second of this conversation. She didn't want to have to rehash everything but it was all connected and it was all still fresh. It influenced all her choices and there was no escaping that, not for the foreseeable future at least.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way." He mumbled. "Not entirely, it's just that you're this really self-contained version of yourself with me, unless you're interacting with Belle and I want that part of you too."

"I don't know what to say to that." She replied distractedly. "Belle brings it out of me as far as who I am with you, this is all new. I don't know how to be... " She paused and looked down trying to find her words. "That night was... I can't explain it and now, I don't know what you expect of me. I've been through even more hell and back since then and there's this chasm between is that I'm trying not to let take over but I need time. I don't know what I'm capable of in a relationship. I've never been in one. I've always been in caretaker or survival mode. I don't know how to be—" she shrugged.

"Tonight, I just want to be myself or some version of that. I'm only 25 years old and there's so much I haven't experienced and now I'm a mom. I couldn't even handle a night out of partying in the Maldives so tonight, I want to try again and be young and just some version of myself. I want to dance with my friends and not be a mom for a few hours even though it's impossible because I'm always thinking about her." She said nervously, tucking thick locks of her hair behind her ear. Desperately trying to rationalize her simple desires in front of him.

Chris only nodded and turned to walk out. He had nothing more to counter with. He was too challenged and still feeling rejected.

"If you're leaving, don't do it without saying goodbye to Belle. Never ever leave without saying goodbye to her." Ana said a little aggressively that she initially intended to.

He looked back and saw her tense expression and nodded again before exiting the room.

After washing her face and calming herself down, Ana walked downstairs and heard Belle crying.

"Nooo Chwis nooo goooo." She wailed in his lap.

"She's not entirely happy with the idea of me leaving." He mumbled standing in the kitchen, holding Belle whose tiny arms were wrapped around his neck while she cried.

Ana took a deep breath and gestured him to sit down.

"Bellie, want to come to Mama?"

"No." She spit out. Ana bit her cheek trying not to laugh. This was a first.

"Do you want a surprise?"

Belle pulled back and look at her mother. Big tears fell from her eyes and Chris wiped them.

"I'm going to refer to you as Chris for now only because she's upset and I need to her cooperate." She looked at Chris who nodded. "Baby, Chris has to go and get you a surprise."

"No Mama... Chwis my fwennnn." She began to cry again. Chris kissed her temple. It tugged at his heartstrings to have her crying like this.

"Yes he is but he's going to bring you a surprise for foodie time. You like mac and cheese?"

Belle nodded rubbing her eye. "Bellie wike mac and sheese."

"Well, remember Mrs. Taylor? She's making some and Chris has to go pick it up. When he comes back he'll bring mac and cheese for you okay? That will be your surprise."

"Supwise?"

"Yes, Belle, I'll bring you mac and cheese." He told her.

"Choco ice-cweam?" She asked.

Ana snorted a laugh. "Hashtag priorities."

"Yes, choco ice cream too." He smiled and kissed her cheek.

"So he has to go okay, but he will come back with your surprise." Ana reminded her.

Belle nodded and they walked over to the front door.

"I love you Belle, I'll see you tonight." He whispered in her ear and blew a raspberry in her neck for the first time, which made her squeal and laugh out loud. The sounds made his heart soar, knowing he could make her happy too and do something normal dads did.

"Chwis bwing mac an sheese an choco ice-cweam." Belle nodded.

"Yes ma'am." He laughed and put her down after kissing her forehead. She looked up and waved at him with a big grin which he returned. He looked at Ana and things were strained between them for now but he leaned down and kissed her temple. "I'll see you tonight."

Ana nodded and gave him a weak smile.

Harpers Bazaar had reached out to the Christine Spencer wanting to document her getting ready process as one of the honorees at the star studded Time 100 Gala event.

That meant from 3pm to 6:30pm, a two person camera crew would be documenting the entire process of them getting ready and being silly in a hotel suite at the Mandarin Oriental at the Time Warner building, where the Time 100 Gala would be held at the Jazz Lincoln Center a few floors below them.

The entire time was spent pampering and primping Ana. In once instance, Ana and Belle wore sheet masks and did a funny bit, acting like ghosts and scaring everyone but for the most part, Belle sat on the table in front of her and talked up a storm while watching in awe as the make up artist, hairstylist and manicurist worked on her mother. All in all, Harpers Bazaar was getting some grade A Belle content while Ana was really just the supporting actor in this little film.

By 6:00pm, Ana was fully dressed in a powder pink, Jenny Packham ball gown that had a bandage top. Her hair was done in subtle waves, hanging against her back while her make up was a bold and bright red lip with a simple eyeliner and mascara. She didn't want to go overboard because she never really ever did that. Also, this was going to be her first ever red carpet event.

Over the last 8 months she had been invited to a myriad of events but would always decline because she hated the idea of being away from Belle. It was only recently that she had been trying to push herself to take meetings without Belle. Still, she tried to remain within a quick 10 minute walk of her location. While talking to her therapist, it was obvious that separation anxiety was the next big thing they had to tackle but now with Chris back in her life and his expectations, she was feeling the pressure and it was getting overwhelming.

"MAMA pwincess dwess." Belle squealed when Ana walked out all ready to show her girls the final look. "Mama bootiful." She cheered and asked to be picked up.

"Thank you Bellie. You're my princess too, always." She kissed her cheek. "Both you and Spencer." She whispered quietly trying not cry.

Today was an honor she desperately wished she could share with her parents, Anabelle and Spencer. It felt enormous. Someone who had been told for years that she wouldn't amount to anything and for that entire time believed it wholeheartedly that it shaped her mindset for the years that followed after emancipation, she was now considered an influential person in the social landscape of things.

It was an honor she would share with 99 other people, one of them being the father of her children. The universe had a funny way of bringing them together. She was now in a sense on equal footing with him. Did it matter though? That was the question that echoed through her mind. After everything, did she really need him? After years and months of pining and needing him, now that he was here, she found it hard to let go of that sadness that brought her to this point.

Was love enough for them to overcome everything? Just because she loved him didn't mean that could work this out. They were different people with different histories, hers far more damaging than his, even though she wasn't entirely sure what else he had to tell her beyond the BDSM part of his life. There were things that she had experienced and seen that she could never tell him about her past. She had barely scratched the surface with it in therapy. Running two businesses all while raising a child was exhausting and on some days, she didn't have the emotional bandwidth to go back into the abyss to try and make sense of it all.

On some days, she only wanted to focus on moving forward and being the version of herself she desperately wanted to be which was Belle's mom. The kind, optimistic, sometimes sassy woman that people saw on Youtube. Her online persona wasn't fake. It was still a part of herself, a part that was heavily inspired by Anabelle but living comfortably in her shadow meant that she never sought the room to test out what she was capable of. Maybe her mother was like this too? She remembered some little vignettes of her mother being cheeky with her father and them laughing in the kitchen while he kissed her neck.

Could she and Chris ultimately have that? Could she move past all this and eventually have more of his children if her body was strong enough? Could they be happy, could she allow herself to be happy? She wanted a full life and for the last two years it looked very different. She was going to start the process of adoption in another 2 years once Belle started school but now... she shook her head this was too much to think about this second.

What would Anabelle say right now? She wondered.

Ana idly played with the pearl necklace she had wrapped around her wrist to fashion as a bracelet. It was her mothers and a small way of keeping her with her tonight, in addition to the two delicate bracelets she wore around the same wrist under the pearl necklace. Both bracelets sported the letter A. Anabelle had gotten it for them on Ana's 18th birthday. A keepsake for them to wear all the time. Later on when Ana turned 21, they both got matching tattoos on the curve of their hips. Ana on her left side, with Anabelle on her right. The word 'Namesharer' in tiny cursive script, a play on the expression of them being joined at the hip since they had come into each other's lives.

Sitting around around with Belle and Alice as she remained lost in her thoughts, watching Tangled. Ana watched the scene on TV play in front of her, Rapunzel reminded her of Anabelle a bit. She had her enthusiasm and hunger for life. While waiting for Jose to show, her phone pinged bringing her out of her web of jumbled thoughts.

6:13PM Taylor Swift: Just got done getting ready. My red carpet time slot is 7:10PM, what's your room number?

6:13PM Anastasia Steele: YAY! Mine is 7:20PM, Room #5403. Just got done too. Waiting for Jose.

Five minutes later they heard a knock and Alice went to answer. After hugs with Taylor, she walked in and cheered making Belle lose her mind in excitement.

"TAYWOR SWIFF." She squealed and ran towards her favorite music artist.

"God, I love how she says my name." Taylor laughed as she picked up Belle, hugging her. "Belle, I wish I could take you with me everywhere."

They laughed and caught up. Jose joined them 10 minutes later, donned in a dark blue tux and looking like a self proclaimed snack.

"MI CORAZON!" Jose's voice bellowed prompting Belle to wriggle out of Taylor's lap and run to her uncle who picked her up with much fanfare, throwing her up in the air.

"Tio, mi cowason." She hugged him and played with his bow-tie. "Tio Pwince." She looked at him.

"That's right baby girl, I'm a Prince. Now, let's hope I can also find a Prince for myself tonight." He chuckled.

"Taylor, can you help with your matchmaking skills?" Ana teased

"I got you." She winked at Jose and they all laughed. "By the way, Cooper is already here. He's on the red carpet now, I think."

Before leaving, they recorded a dance video to post for the Christine Spencer weekly dance insta post to Taylor's song, "The Man." They all danced around the room while Alice recorded them.

Goodbyes with Belle were a fairly easy affair. The little human never tires of watching Frozen so it's easy to slip out after a quick goodbye kiss since her eyes and brain are glued to the screen.

Once the trio got on the elevator to head down to the welcome area for the Gala where the press was waiting, the nerves took hold of her and slight shiver ran through her body. Her arm was in Jose's and he could sense her

"Hey." He whispered gently. "You're gonna kill it tonight."

Jose knew how to read Ana. She was an open book to him and he was going to stick by her till the end of time. She was his family. He'd been alone too for all this time. Sure, he had friends but family was something he was still trying to find and build.

She looked up and gave him a weak smile and nodded. "I hope so." She had a rough idea of what she was going to toast to tonight, all she had to do was make sure her nerves get the best of her. She would have to channel Namesharer's energy and remember her words.

"Don't you get scared when you put yourself out like that." Ana asked.

"I'm putting out pure and good energy Namesharer, I'm in control. No one can hurt me. People need that energy which is why the come back for more. Trust me, be your amazing unapologetic self and they'll hang on to your every word." Anabelle looked back with a genuine smile. She was a pro at charming a room but Ana liked being in the shadows.

The red carpet was crazy. Flashes went off as she posed for pictures with both Jose as her date and alone for the step and repeat. Reporters clamored to ask her questions.

Who are you wearing? How does it feel to be on this list? Where is Belle tonight, how is she? Who are you most excited to see? Who's your date for tonight? What is the future of digital media and personal branding? Are your nervous for tonight?

She gracefully answered all questions with enthusiasm and sass before her time was up and walked with Jose towards the elevators that would take her to the auditorium where all the tables were set up for the event.

Christian had an earlier time slot that incidentally coincided with Bradley Cooper's on the red carpet. He eyed him suspiciously and tried his best to smile for the cameras but it's not what came to him naturally, not like Ana anyway. Mia chided him and he rolled his eyes.

Even Ava called him on facetime and gave her two cents while he was on his way to event.

"Remember to smile Uncle Christian the cameras love that. And don't be a butthead to Aunty Ana. Aunty Mia and Mom told me Bradley Cooper will be there. You have to be nice."

Reporters were feral. Everyone wanted the chance to have him answer questions. He barely attended events as public as this and interviews were rarer so this was as good as it was gonna get.

While the Times reporter kept the conversation strictly on the honor of being included on the list along with questions about his foundation and who was looking forward to meeting tonight, other outlets wanted to know how single life was and why his engagement ended, was he interested in someone, what did he look for in a woman. Christian replied with a growling no comment to all and walked off.

After they received their table number at the welcome table in the cocktail hour in an intermediate space outside the auditorium, it turned out that Kate and Elliot were sitting next to them along with some celebrities that Mia excitedly harped on about but his mood was dampened by the fact that Ana still wasn't here. His eyes kept landing on the Bradley Cooper fucker who was like a little social butterfly of a tart meeting everyone and shaking hands and hugging all as if he was at a frat party.

There were 6 large digital screens spread out around the room that displayed the cover starts. Christian's screen was directly across from Ana and Belle's across the room. They were cinemagraphs of all the cover stars or moving images, subtle smooth and never movements on loop. Ana's image with Belle showed her lips curling into a smile and winking at the camera while Belle scrunched up her features to make a funny face. Something that made her look Ana.

People surrounded her screen and took pictures of the display and with it. He patiently waited to get a glimpse of her. She hadn't updated instagram yet, he had checked enough times. The wait was killing him. He half heartedly talked to people, thankful that Mia was able to help out while he anxiously looked towards the room's entrance.

Ana and Jose got off the elevators and walked with Taylor to the welcome table to get their table numbers and mark their attendance. Since Taylor and Ana were going to be on stage and some point tonight they had some extra things to take care and be aware of.

Ana keep her gaze most fixed below the horizon line. She didn't want to lock eyes with anyone while she walked into a room of people. It was a defense mechanism to keep her nerves intact before she could feel comfortable enough to deal people. It was either that, she kept her gaze fixed on Jose, talking to him so that no one would interrupt them till she felt a little calmer.

Thankfully, Jose had immediately spotted her digital cover moving image and they walked straight towards it. Taylor had gotten lost in the sea of people and meet and greets. When Ana and Jose arrived at her digital screen there were people hovered and excitedly taking pictures. Ana watched with a smile on her face from a distance. All these people wanted pictures with just a simple of image of them. It felt strange.

"I wish they were here." Ana whispered with teary eyes looking at Jose.

"They are." Jose smiled. He knew what she was referring to. "They brought you here, Annie. Every single one of them gave you the strength to be here."

She nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat, walking towards the screen. She greeted some of the people and asked if she could take a quick two minutes for a picture. They all moved and Jose stood to take pictures of her. A simple one followed by some funny ones where Ana mimed pinching Belle's cheek with a cheesy grin.

Christian watched from a far. She looked breath-taking and he could see people around the room looking at her every now and then. She did a series of little dances and twirls, which he now recognized, were for a boomerang. He was learning new social media lingo thanks to Mia, Kate and Ava.

There were people here and there approaching her, wanting to take a selfie and talk to her. She was a natural and fully engaged with everyone she spoke to till from the corner of his eye he spotted his arch nemesis from the night heading straight towards her.

"Fix your face, Grey." Kate whispered.

"My face is fine." He growled, his eyes fixed on his enemy's approach.

"You look like you need to take a constipated shit." Kate snorted a laugh and quickly pursed her lips but it was too late, Elliot and Mia were desperately trying to control themselves but the giggle fit was too strong and contagious.

He gave Kate a warning look. "I'm never taking any of you any where again."

"Bitch please, I'm here repping my own company." Kate sassed and sipped on her delicious wine.

He rolled his eyes and looked back towards Ana clenching his fist in his pocket and trying his best not to expire at the scene in front of him.

Bradley waited patiently for Ana to get done taking a selfie with a gala attendee after a bro hug from Jose.

"Damn, can I get a picture?" He laughed as soon as she was free to talk.

"Bow down and accept me as the Queen and I'll consider it." She sassed with a wink and they hugged.

For Christian watching from a far, the hugged lingered for a little too long and so did the kiss on the cheek. Mia nudged his shoulder telling him to snap out of it.

It had been decided that over the family chat that they couldn't really be seen in close proximity to each other and that Mia and Kate could definitely come and talk to Ana but only if she was far enough from Chris. She didn't want people putting two and two together. As it is, having their covers on display was anxiety inducing enough. If anyone pointed out the similarities between him and Belle, it could cause mayhem.

"How you been, Steele?"

"Fabulous as always." She said with an air of sophistication. "Nah, just busy. Belle is kicking my ass here and there. How is Lea?"

"Kicking my ass too." He conceded and took out his phone to show her some new pictures. "Look at this kid. She's got me wrapped around her finger."

"God, how do you not just eat her up." She gushed over the photos.

"Can you talk to her for a minute, I told her I'd be meeting you."

"OF COURSE. I'd love to." She beamed at him. Once the facetime call connected she waved animatedly and talked to Lea, promising that she'd be coming to LA soon and they would have a girls date with Belle.

Christian again, watching from afar, saw Ana laughing heartily in conversation with him and fully engaged, talking on the phone with someone and in turn showing pictures on her phone, no doubt of Belle. Her face lit up when she talked about her so he knew it was definitely that.

Pretty soon, everyone started walking through the doors into the auditorium where all the tables were setup for the event. Ana looked around stealthily for Chris but couldn't see him in the sea of people walking in. She continued to run into people, mostly celebrities she had known on social media but never had the chance to meet in person. All in all, she probably only 10 or 20 people personally excluding Chris and his family. This event would change that. She would finally meet some of the people she'd been talking to on online for the past few months.

The all took their assigned seats. Chris table had his family, some actors according to Mia and some political players. He had a clear view of Ana who was 5 tables away from her, but her seat meant her back would mostly to him. It also meant he had clear view of her conversing with Bradley Cooper who sitting right next to her on her right, with Jose to her left, followed by Taylor Swift. He could see how Cooper monopolized her time.

What he didn't know was that they mostly talked about work.

The evening began with a speech from the CEO of Time Mangazine, welcoming and congratulating everyone on the list for the extraordinary work they've done. Between speeches from other cover stars about topics on saving democracy, the importance of freedom, personal experiences of meeting people from other cultures and learning profound lessons to performances from prominent music artists such as Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Janelle Monae, Shawn Mendes etc.

For Ana it was like having a front seat to the best concert in town. She knew all the words to all the songs and sang her heart out with her friends. Jose and her laughed. For a moment as she swayed in her seat she was reminded of her time in high school dance classes with Anabelle. How she would force her to dance and open up.

Namesharer, you said your mother was singer or maybe a dancer that means you have the genes just let loose will ya. Let go of the sadness. Look at me, daughter of a stripper with a heart of gold, shakin what her mama gave her.

After a speech by Trevor Noah about the noble work of a comedian in these trying times, the next musical guest was introduced.

Maggie Rogers took the stage and performed a two song set. Her first song was Burning that got everyone up on the feet including Ana, Jose and Taylor who stood from their seats and swayed, interacting with other guests on the tables next to them.

Christian watched her be young and carefree. Enjoying herself the best she could. He wanted to text her but also given their fight or discussion whatever name it could be given, he didn't want to make her sad again.

While Belle looked like a mini replica of him, all her mannerisms were Ana. Anytime Christian saw Ana scrunch up her nose and burst out laughing, it reminded him of Belle doing the same, her round blue eyes just like her mothers, with the power to look deep into your soul and take whatever they needed. Even some of Ana's animated movements he could see Belle had picked up, especially the one shoulder pop, cocking her head to the side and most of all, the clasping of hands and close to her chest. It was a wonder to see.

Similarly for Ana, all she saw in Belle was Chris. Now even more so, in those tiny passing micro expressions when she'd smirk or pout. How she fought sleep and tapped her chin with her index finger. She noticed that Chris did that when checking emails on his phone. Belle also furrowed her brows when she was serious like him. She finally had a reference to match it to instead of wondering if that was how Chris was.

Once the song was over and they were out of breath from laughing and dancing, they sat down and waited for Maggie to play her next song called Say It.

It was Ana's favorite and often reminded her of her first night with Chris. She tried her best not to listen to love songs because they all reminded her of him and didn't want to be sad, but Belle in comparison gravitated towards love songs and swayed to them. It was why Lover by Taywor Swiff was her favorite too.

Standing in the open light
Within the swelter of the night
I found myself staring at you
And every time our fingers touched
I felt like it would be too much
And too little to hang onto

She sang along to every word thinking of Chris, trying to look around for him but it was hard because every where she looked she'd lock eyes with someone who she sort of knew and would have to wave and smile. There were two levels in the room. What if he was sitting on the top level looking down? It was frustrating. She could text him but a part of her was also afraid. What if he didn't reply. This afternoon didn't go well and she was still reeling her self.

Once the song was over, Bill Gates took the stage to introduce the next speaker who happened to be none other than Christian Grey. Graphics in the form of pictures and B-roll video footage played of his trip to Sudan to show the efforts of his foundation's work. Ending with some footage of his Times 100 shoot at the Nomad hotel.

"Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause of Christian Grey." Bill announced.

The room filled with applause and Ana eyes followed everyone else to see Chris walking up from the far corner of the room. So that's where he was.

Her jaw dropped a little. She'd seen press of him at charity events and he could wear the hell out of a tux but watching him walk across the room was a treat.

"Sorry, Jose... but that's a snack." Taylor laughed. "Heard he broke off his engagement. His fiance was gorgeous. Seriously thinking of telling Joe I need a quick break to date this guy and get an album out of it." She giggled.

"I'll happily fight you." Camilla Cabello called out from two seats over.

"Bring it, Cabello." Taylor challenged.

Ana looked around and noticed women drooling over Chris. She suddenly felt a cloud of doubt come over her. What did he see in her? Compared to Lillian, compared to all these accomplished women in the room, how did she have a chance? What if he woke one day and decided again that she wasn't worth it?

He was an enigma and the world was enamored by him as a person and his intelligence. Most of all, here he was trying to eradicate world hunger. Something that could change the course of history... she knew she couldn't compare herself to him like that. They came from different circumstances but there was no doubt but she silently wondered what made her special in his eyes outside of the fact that she as Belle's mother. Was he still holding on to that night like she was and did this mean that the spell would eventually break again.

Her nerves were getting the best of her again.

"What do you think Ana?" Taylor's voice brought her back.

"What do I think what?" Ana asked a little confused.

"He's hot right?"

"Uhh..." Ana looked back at Christian who was shaking hands with Bill Gates and grabbed the mic from him to face the crowd. "Yeah, sure." She mumbled with a shrug and looked to Jose.

"The man looks like he needs a shot or three of tequila. Brother needs to lighten up." Bradley chuckled.

"Well, he's working to eradicate world hunger, I think we can cut him some slack." Ana snapped in Chris' defense.

"Are you his PR person?" He teased.

Ana giggled, turning to look towards the stage. "No, I just think what he's doing is very admirable and we should appreciate it and look past the superficial."

The room had gone silent and Chris stood with one hand in his pocket and began to speak.

"I'm profoundly grateful and touched by the great compliment accorded to me by Time Magazine this evening. It offers me a rare opportunity to talk about how important philanthropy is to me. Our aim at the Grey foundation is to develop viable and ecologically sustainable methods of farming for third world countries; our ultimate goal is to help eradicate hunger and poverty across the globe. Over a billion people, mainly in sub-Saharan Africa, South Asia, and Latin America, live in abject poverty. Agricultural dysfunction is rife within these parts of the world, and the result is ecological and social destruction. I have known what it's like to be profoundly hungry. This is a very personal journey for me and as of some recent revelations in my personal life, even more so." He looked directly at Ana for a few seconds before continuing on. She gave him a small smile and tried her best to keep her tears at bay.

"At Grey foundation, we have made tremendous progress in soil fertility and arable technology. We are pioneering low-input systems in developing countries, and our test sites have increased crop yields up to thirty percent per hectare. We are proud of the students who join us through internships to work at our test sites in Africa. The work they do there benefits the local communities and the students themselves. Together we can fight hunger and the abject poverty that blights these regions"

"But in this age of technological evolution, as the first world races ahead, widening the gap between the haves and the have-nots, it's vital to remember that we must not squander the world's finite resources. These resources are for all humanity, and we need to harness them, find ways of renewing them, and develop new solutions to feed our overpopulated planet."

Everwhere Ana looked, she saw people watching Chris with rapt attention. Women giggled, smiling at him. Men revered him. All eyes were on him, hanging on to every word he said.

"Our aim is to provide solutions, and it's our job to get the message out there. It's through GEH's telecommunications division that we intend to supply information and education to the developing world. I'm proud to say that we're making impressive progress in solar technology, battery life, and wireless distribution that will bring the Internet to the remotest parts of the world—and our goal is to make it free to users at the point of delivery. Access to education and information, which we take for granted here, is the crucial component for ending poverty in these developing regions."

"We're lucky. We're all privileged here. Some more than others, and I include myself in that category. We have a moral obligation to offer those less fortunate a decent life that's healthy, secure, and well nourished, with access to more of the resources that we all enjoy in our lives."

"I'll leave you with a quote that has always resonated with me. And I'm paraphrasing a Native American saying: 'Only when the last leaf "has fallen, the last tree has died, and the last fish been caught will we realize that we cannot eat money.'

His eyes remained mostly fixed in Ana's general direction since her table was in the middle of the room and directly in front of the stage. She watched him with a smile and awe.

The room erupted in applause and Ana stood up along with many others peppered around the room. She stood up more for Belle and Spencer, to show that they would be proud of their father for all that he was trying to do for people who were less fortunate across the world.

He lingered on the stage for a few moments, looking straight at Ana with a small smile before leaving to go back to his seat. People reached out to shake his hand but she noticed his tense demeanor all of a sudden at the onslaught of attention as he quickly dashed to go back to his seat and get away from the over enthusiastic spectators who only wanted to wish him well.

If only they knew how his aversion to touch was such a problem.

Ana asked for her phone from Jose who was keeping it safe. She checked it every now and then to check on Belle. Everything was fine so far, Sawyer had delivered a bowl of mac and cheese for her which made Ana smile and they were now in Chris's room, watching paw patrol. Belle was living the life.

9:24PM Anastasia Steele: That was quite an inspiring speech Mr. Grey. I'm in awe of you and most of all, we love you.

9:24PM Christian Grey: I love you and I'm sure you'll out do me in shortly.

9:25PM Anastasia Steele: I doubt it. It's hard to compete with the nobility of trying to end world hunger.

9:25PM Christian Grey: You'd be surprised at the effect you have on people including myself, baby.

The man had a way with words that was arresting. It was evident from his letters and in that moment she wished that things were simpler. That there wasn't any pain or loss between them.

The night went on. Dinner got served and done with, people roamed around the room in between other speeches and performances. Ana got to finally meet some of her online friends from the past few months in real life and catch up. Most of them were parents too and they talked about everything from terrible twos to teenage drama. She fangirled and met some of her favorite music artists, taking pictures at the photobooth while Bradley introduced her and Jose to some of his actor friends.

It was almost 10:15PM and she had been told by one of the event co-ordinators that she would be the last speech of the night before the the final music performances then the after party. She took her seat and everyone was called back to sit down again. She looked around and noticed that Bradley wasn't around but chalked it up to him schmoozing again in some far part of the room till she noticed him walking from stage right.

"Ladies and gentlemen, how are we doing tonight?" He bellowed and the room cheered in delight. "Damn, that liquor must be real good." He winked and everyone laughed. "Well, I'm here to introduce to you a very special honoree on the Time's 100 list. I may or may not have begged to be the one to introduce her because since Chrissy beat me to writing her profile in the magazine."

"WHATEVER COOPER LET IT GO." Chrissy Teigen yelled from a far corner making Ana gasp, covering her mouth and the room laugh again.

Chris however was not laughing but sulking like a teenager. He could see Ana beaming a smile and wished to be on the other end of it even though he just was a while ago but alas, he was greedy of wanting all her attention and affections.

As Bradley continued to speak, a video of Ana and Belle from her Nomad shoot played in the background along with a few clips of them from their youtube videos.

"It is no secret that I have a tremendous amount of respect for women and I credit my own mother for teaching me a great deal about that. The woman I am about to introduce to you tonight is as authentic as it gets. Her strength and resilience in the wake of such tragedy and loneliness is nothing short of inspirational and a lesson for young girls and boys, heck even an old but handsome guy like me..." Everyone laughed and Ana rolled her eyes. "...to always go with kindness and bravery. My daughter watches her videos and tells me she hopes to be like her when she grows up. I am proud that I get to call her my friend and have the opportunity to learn from her about life and parenthood. Please allow me the honor to introduce to you the incomparable Anastasia Steele of Christine Spencer." He gave a signature smile with his eyes fixed on Ana.

The whole room cheered loudly and applause rang through the entire space with an intensity that seemed like it would never end.

To be continued...

A/N: Let me know what you think about this chapter and please leave a review. Eager to hear your thoughts.

Burning – Maggie Rogers

Say It – Maggie Rogers.