Eagle Valley, Indiana, 2000 Elsa is 20, Anna is 17
Sunlight streamed gently through the windows in Anna's room, illuminating her NSYNC and Britney Spears posters covering the walls. She rolled over, pulling her giant stuffed snowman into a hug as the warmth of the morning sun roused her.
As the haze of sleep melted away, the memories of the previous day came flooding back. The prom. Hans. Elsa. A shiver runs through her body despite the sun's warmth as she contemplates what might have been, had it not been for her time-traveling older sister coming to her rescue.
I've got to thank her today if she's still here, she thought to herself before hearing a gentle rustling outside her door.
The softest of knocks sounded against her door, the pattern a familiar one, three knocks, a pause, and then a single knock. Elsa - her Elsa, not the time traveler - was waiting outside. "Come in," she whisper-shouted in case her parents were still asleep.
The door softly opened as Elsa came, closing it gently behind her. "Hey."
"Hey sis!" Anna said with a yawn.
"How… how are you doing this morning?" Elsa asked hesitantly, inspecting Anna's black eye and bruised cheek from the previous evening's assault.
Anna shrugged, unsure what to say. "Did… did the other Elsa leave?"
Her sister nodded, sitting down on the corner of the bed. "Last night, after you went to bed. She… I've never seen anything like it, Anna."
"I did, when I was 15. It's something, isn't it? Like a blizzard made of lightning, but on her skin. I hope… I hope it doesn't hurt."
"She didn't look like she was in any kind of pain, but she definitely feels it," Elsa said, absentmindedly rubbbing the corner of the blankets with her thumb and forefinger with a frown.
Anna sat up and gently touched Elsa's arm. "Hey… I know that look. What's wrong, sis?" At a mute shake of the head, Anna pressed on. "You know… you know you can talk to me about anything, right?"
"I…" Elsa looked down at her hands, shame and guilt keeping her from looking at her sister. "I feel like I failed you, Anna. Like I'm a terrible big sister." She took a deep breath as Anna watched silently. "I should have been there to… to protect you from Hans."
"You were there, sort of!" Anna joked, attempting to lift her sister's mood without much success. "Besides, everything turned out fine. You were there when we needed you to get us out of there. And you're here for me now, and you've been here for me so much. I couldn't ask for more from the best sister in the world, Elsa." She wrapped her arms around Elsa's middle, holding her close.
Elsa couldn't breathe. Not because Anna's hug was too tight, just because she was… so close. So very close. Anna had always been a hugger and a toucher, but everything felt different after she confessed to her older self the previous night. Giving voice to her feelings, even if it was technically only to herself, made them real. She strained to keep her thoughts proper, to conceal and not feel the heat, the closeness, the twisted attraction she had to her own little sister.
"Elsa, you're so tense. What is it? What's going on?" She scooted next to Elsa and put an arm around her shoulders. "You don't have to feel guilty, Elsa. I mean, think about it. In a way, you were there because future you is literally you, right? And you always come back whenever I need it the most, whenever something bad might happen. So you were there."
Anna kissed her sister on the cheek, inhaling the subtle warm scent of her skin. Her face gently flushed as she nuzzled her face into the side of Elsa's neck, struggling to resist her desires. She wanted nothing more than to grab Elsa's face and kiss her full on the mouth. Subconsciously, her hand had already moved to Elsa's jawline.
"Anna…? What are you thinking? What's going on with you?" she asked, leaning to the side to look her sister in the eye.
"I… I just… I'm sorry, Elsa. I, uh…" Anna took a deep breath of her own. "I have to tell you something, Elsa. Promise me you won't laugh at me?"
Elsa nodded. "Of course not, Anna. Like you said, you can tell me anything." She carefully took one of Anna's hands and clasped it for moral support, studiously ignoring the warm feeling that blossomed in her heart while doing so.
"I, uh… I kind of fell in love with future you," she said, blushing furiously.
"Future me?" Elsa murmured, eyes wide in surprise.
"Remember when I was 12 or 13 and I used to lug around my MiniDisc player all the time?"
Elsa rolled her eyes. "God yes, that thing was like a security blanket to you. I remember a couple of years later when my future self came to visit, she said that she'd left some long message on it for you and that you might have fallen in love with her?"
"She told you that?" Anna raised her voice. "What- how long have you known that?"
"A couple of years," she grinned sheepishly. "I didn't say anything because it was really sweet and since future me only pops in every so often, I figured it didn't cause any harm." Elsa smiled at the memory of her future self bemoaning the awkward situation she'd accidentally created.
Anna rested her head in her hands, hunched over in embarrassment on her bed. "I can't believe she told you! Anyway…" Anna mumbled into her hands.
"I… didn't understand anything you just said, Anna, because you were talking into your hands," Elsa smirked.
"You were asking what's going on with me, so I was getting to that part. I… uh, well, like I said, I sort of fell in love with future you, right?" Anna squirmed nervously. "Well, that uh… I mean, one thing led to another, and… Imighthavefalleninlovewithyoutoo," she exhaled.
Elsa blinked.
She blinked again.
"Elsa, please say something."
Elsa couldn't. She couldn't believe her ears. Anna… loved her? Not as a sister, but fell in love with her, not the future version of her? Years of subtle clues all snapped into place, like watching ice crystals cover a wet window in the middle of winter. The constant hugs and touching. The odd kisses on the cheek. The frequent sleepovers.
And as her logical brain processed her memories, her emotions exploded like fireworks in July, singing for joy inside her. Her older self must have known! That's why she was so adamant the previous night that Elsa be truthful with Anna. Anna must have told her future self about her feelings. As quickly as her heart lifted at Anna's confession, guilt washed over it like a tidal wave.
"A-Anna… that's…" she struggled to find the words as a maelstrom raged in her heart, hope that she could express her love at war with guilt over her deviance. "You- you can't fall in love with me. It's not… it's not right, Anna."
Anna's face fell. "What do you mean, it's not right? It feels right, Elsa. You love me so much that in the future, you break the laws of space and time to come save me from myself. And I love you for it, for who you are right now and who you will be in the future. You're… you're smart, you're gorgeous, you're everything anyone could ever want!"
Anna stared into Elsa's eyes with a fiery gaze. "You're everything I could ever want," she declared, running her hands down Elsa's shoulders and arms.
Conceal, don't feel, Elsa repeated to herself over and over again in her head, mesmerized by her sister's intensity. "Anna, I know you love me - as a sister. Just like I love you, as a sister. But romantic love? Anna, sisters can't fall in love with each other!"
"Yes they can, Elsa!" she shouted. "Sisters ca-" Anna paused mid-sentence, her eyes widening as she digested her sister's words.
Elsa's hands flew to her mouth, covering it in shock as she realized what she'd just said, what she'd let slip.
A slow smile crept across Anna's face. "Elsa…" she cooed. "Oh, Elsa. I… I get it now." Her smile broadened. "It isn't just guilt about not stopping Hans, is it? It's guilt because of how you feel. How you feel… towards me. You think you're protecting me by hiding your feelings. You're in love with me too, aren't you?"
Elsa burst into tears. "I'm s-s-s-so s-sorry, Anna! I- I didn't mean it! I didn't mean to feel this way. I- I've been trying to hide it for so long. I know- I know it's wrong, so wrong to feel this way about you, I'm so sorry!" she sobbed, hugging herself tightly.
"Hey, it's okay Elsa. It really is," Anna soothed.
"No! No it isn't, Anna! It's disgusting! It's wrong! It- it's- I'm supposed to be the one who protects you, who looks after you, and all I've done lately is fail! I couldn't save you from Hans and I can't stop these- these- perverse feelings I have for you!" She curled herself into a ball at the end of Anna's bed as she cried.
Anna pulled at her arm for a bit but found only resistance, so she decided to try a different tack, one she knew Elsa couldn't resist. "Okay, then let's think about this. Tell me your reasons - very clearly - why it's wrong, Elsa. Let's debate."
Elsa had been the leader of the Eagle Valley High School debate team, the youngest ever as a freshman, one of her proudest accomplishments of her youth. She slowly sat up, sniffling, and looked her sister in the eye. "I know what you're doing, Anna," she huffed, "but fine. Okay, reason one: incest is against the law."
"Laws made by old, rich, white men to protect their dwindling opportunities, and Indiana's laws are strictly about sexual intercourse, which we haven't had," Anna said with a grin.
Elsa frowned, making mental notes in her head like the debate champion she was. "Fine. It would be hurtful to our family, especially our parents, if we engaged in a romantic relationship."
Anna grimaced. "Yeah, I'll give you that, especially Papa. I think Mama's a lot more open-minded than you give her credit for, but yeah, Papa wouldn't be thrilled."
Weakly smiling, Elsa continued as though reciting from memory. "Incest causes birth defects."
"For real?" Anna threw her sister a long look. "Elsa, did you even stop to consider that we're both female and we literally cannot in any way have babies together genetically? What church pamphlet are you reciting this from?"
Elsa coughed. "It's not a pamphlet! I was just… umm… researching. Anyway, the final point in my argument is that incestuous relationships exploit a power imbalance."
"Elsa, I'm pursuing you! How is that a power imbalance?"
The blonde stammered, "Uh… because… um… okay, fine, I can't think of one right now."
"So other than old white men trying to tell us what we're allowed to do with our bodies as consenting people of age, and Dad being upset, you really don't have much of a case," Anna gave her sister a smug grin.
"Anna… that isn't how debate works, and you know it. I made two points you can't refute," she said, frustrated.
"It is so! You scored two points, but one of them is weaker and worth half a point at best, and I strongly refuted two other points you had that were ridiculous, so I'm ahead by half a point, miss Debate Queen," Anna smiled, triumphant.
"It's not half a point, Anna! Incest is against the law!"
"Only once I have sex with you!" she rebutted, enjoying the view as Elsa choked and turned bright red immediately, mouth hanging open as her entire train of thought derailed. Anna gently stroked Elsa's shoulder. "Listen, all we've done is confess our true love for each other, right? Nothing else, and I don't see anything wrong with that at all. I'm not asking you to do anything other than be honest with me, Elsa. Be honest with yourself."
Anna drew her sister into a tentative hug. "Do you love me?"
Elsa relented, letting Anna hug her from the side. "I do, too much."
"Do you believe that I love you in the same way?"
Elsa nodded, wringing her hands together as her eyes grew watery once more.
"Then please believe me when I tell you that you haven't done anything wrong, and neither have I. We have every right to love each other in every way that we want," Anna murmured. "All I'm asking for is honesty, Elsa. Now, what are you really afraid of?"
Elsa turned away, looking out the window. "Being hurt and hurting you, Anna. I… I want this so bad, but I just- I don't want to screw up your life or mine doing something wrong."
Anna touched her fingers to Elsa's cheek. "You won't hurt me, Elsa. You have and you will go to the ends of the universe for me. I don't care what anyone else thinks or says as long as I have you. Does this-" she asked, clasping her sister's hand, "feel wrong?" A brief shake of her sister's head answered her. "True love is never wrong, Elsa."
She cupped Elsa's chin in her hands and tentatively pressed their lips together for a too-brief moment. They both savored the moment, eyes closed, feeling the other's breath hitching, the softness of their lips, their bodies hugged together.
"That didn't feel wrong either," Elsa whispered as Anna tightened their embrace.
The alarm clock next to Anna's bed went off, playing her favorite pop radio station. Anna smiled, recognizing the song instantly and stroking her hands down Elsa's back as they held the hug a few moments longer, basking in her sister's warm embrace. She started to sing along gently in Elsa's ear.
"Tomorrow's getting harder, make no mistake. Luck ain't enough, you've got to make your own breaks. It's my life, and it's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever."
Elsa pulled back for a moment to look into Anna's eyes, then lunged forward to kiss her in a way that was anything but tentative.
Author's Notes
This interlude is literally the next day after Episode 10, and it exists at the request/suggestion of Enrico Dandolo and Matjojo over at Elsanna Shenanigans who asked if we'd get to see Elsa's confession to Anna.
Originally, this entire chapter was just inferred, as you'll see in upcoming chapters of the story, but the more I thought about it, the more these two folks are correct. While this is a crossover of Quantum Leap and The Time Traveler's Wife, at its core it's an Elsanna story - and it's silly to have Elsanna and not show the most important part, the creation of that relationship.
Happy holidays, my friends.
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