Epilogue: Full Circle

How to love someone who is broken

.

Gently, lay your hands on their soul like a whisper

and find the places in which they are broken.

Then love them until these fractured places

Become crevices, and the crevices become

thin, white scars that they only just barely remember.

.

-Nikita Gill

.

September 13th, 2041

I closed the book in a huff, pressing the X with unnecessary force. It was technically a draft, but hopefully, it was the last one. The book was ready to hit the shelves and online marketplaces as far as I was concerned, but the writer was a perfectionist. We had been going back and forth with the drafts for the last several months. It was already Friday, and hopefully, it was close to five, because I was ready to call it a day.

I checked my cell phone, and it was indeed 4:46. Close enough. I realized I had an unread text message that had been sent nearly ten minutes ago: Meet me in 15?

I'm on my way, I answered back.

I shut down my laptop and put away in the drawers the few objects scattered on my desk. I slid my laptop in its bag and carried it with me out of the office. I said my goodbyes to my personal assistant and then to the receptionist of 'Grey Publishing'—Christian's over the top gift for our first wedding anniversary—. I climbed into the elevator that was the furthest to my right and went up two floors.

Andrea, her hair now silver instead of blonde, her eyes covered with smart glasses, and her clothes as pristine as always, was sitting behind the desk. She was on the phone, and the other assistant, Maggie, was nowhere to be seen. She smiled and waved when she spotted me, having grasped many years ago she needn't hung up or put a call on hold just because of little old me. I gestured at the closed door several meters in front of me, and she nodded, signifying I could go ahead.

I walked towards the door and knocked twice before opening it, not waiting for an answer. Sitting behind the desk there was the man I had expected to see little over thirty years ago: albeit not balding or with a tiny peen complex, he was mature and his hair was already turning grey. He was elegant in his late fifties, and his penetrating eyes were even more impressive now that they matched his mane.

Christian smiled at me before placing one index finger against his lips, requesting me to be quiet. Then, he pointed at his office couch, where a four-year-old brunet boy was taking a nap. I smiled fondly at my slumbering grandson before closing the door softly behind me and walking towards the large desk.

"I was hoping I could interview you for the paper, Mr Grey," I spoke softly enough not to wake Henry.

"I'm sorry, but I don't give interviews, less of all without an appointment, Ms…?"

"Steele, Sir. Maybe you could make an exception for me?" I asked, batting my eyelashes and playing with the neckline of my dress.

"Are you flirting?" chipped a childish voice from behind me. Our youngest daughter had just left the nest and now our grandson was cock-blocking us.

"Weren't you napping, Hen?" asked him Christian.

"No more," answered the little boy, shaking his head adorably.

"Where's Regina?" I asked my husband, also choosing not to answer Henry's question.

"She said she had a meeting on the first floor, but I think she was lying and our kids are planning something."

"Tomorrow we're celebrating our thirtieth wedding anniversary, and they're as over the top as their old man. Of course they're planning something."

"Surprise plan on floor five!" exclaimed Henry excitedly, proudly showing off five fingers.

The fifth floor? That's where Bex's lab was.

"Your mommy and aunt Bex are on the fifth floor?" I asked him.

"Mommy, and aunt Bex, and uncle Teddy, and uncle Collin and aunt Belle! For the party tomorrow!"

"Thank you, sweetie," I told him before turning to look at Christian. "Someone needs to teach him not to tattle-tale before he starts kindergarten."

Christian put his things in order and picked up Henry, while I grabbed the boy's toy bag. We took our private elevator to the fifth floor, where we were greeted by the wide-eyed receptionist.

"Hello, Jasper. Are our children here?" I couldn't possibly claim to know the name of every GEH's worker, but Rebecca worked on that floor and I obviously knew the receptionist.

"I… Yes, ma'am," he answered, reaching out for the phone. We clearly weren't meant to be there.

"No need to bother them," I assured him. "When they're done, would you let Regina know we took Henry to our house?" Our eldest daughter and her family lived only a fourth of a mile away from us, so she'd have no trouble picking up her son there.

"Of course, Mrs Grey."

"Thank you. Have a good weekend Jasper."

"You too, Mrs Grey, Mr Grey. And congratulations on your anniversary."

"Thank you," we chorused.

"Bye-bye!" exclaimed Henry happily, waving.

"Goodbye, Henry."

It was no surprise, truly, that our kids were planning something for us. They all shared Christian's love for music and had had their own 'band' even since Belle could use a tambourine. They had even uploaded some videos of covers in a few platforms once they were older, and they had received plenty of kudos and views. Teddy had his father's talent in playing the piano, and could also play some popular songs in a guitar. Gina had gone through several instruments but had turned out to be as thick as me. On the other hand, while our five kids could sing, she was the one with the most impressive voice. Bex had chosen the cello at a young age, and Belle had favoured the guitar. Collin was the most versatile, and so far he could play the piano, guitar, bass, violin and drums. Before buying him the violin, we had—ironically enough—asked Elliot to soundproof the music room. He couldn't understand why we didn't just kick them to the basement.

In conclusion, it was only to be expected that they'd sing a song or two for us on our special day.

Additionally, I had caught Belle and our daughter-in-law Bianca going through some old pictures.

September 14th, 2041

Once again, our backyard had been turned into a venue. It had happened half a dozen times in the last twelve years, as we took turns with the Nolan family to host the charity ball destined to raise money for the local orphanages.

This time around, though, much like nearly three decades ago, chairs had been arranged in a semi-circle by Mia and her team—roughly ten years ago, she had grown tired of the bakery, put someone else in charge and became an event manager—. The enclosed pool had been turned into a dance floor, and a large off-white tent sheltered a small stage and four long tables that seated twenty-four people each.

Most of our guest had already arrived and were mingling, eating appetizers and drinking cold beverages served in trays by Mia's waiters. Christian and I had been forced to wait upstairs in our bedroom by said woman, who had insisted we make a grand entrance. It was not our wedding but our anniversary and vows renewal ceremony, yet Mia had managed to convince us to stay hidden and let our family welcome the guests. In turn, we had put our foot down and insisted it would not be a black-tie event, but a cocktail one instead. Thus, the atmosphere in our backyard, under the late afternoon sun, was both fancy and relaxed.

Our children—now between eighteen and twenty-nine years of age—were mixing with our guests: their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, a few of their closest friends, our two daughters-in-law Bianca and Emma, our grandson Henry, our granddaughter Joanne, and our neighbours.

When we had first moved to our house back in 2011, we hadn't had much time or inclination to meet our neighbours, as we had quickly gone from newlyweds, absorbed in each other, to new parents, sleep-deprived and always busy. When our children had started going to school, we had met several adults close to our age. Through the years, we had become close to a few fellow parents and gained priceless friendships.

Eventually, the master of ceremonies—Elliot, per his begging request—announced it was time to sit down so the vow renewal ceremony could begin. As our guests found their seats, Christian and I made our way out of our bedroom and down the stairs hand in hand, closer than ever in the event of our thirtieth anniversary.

After much debate and several days of pursuing with my three daughters—two who dearly love to shop—, I had found a white dress that rose to the occasion. It was off the shoulder, with a crisscrossed bodice and a tea-length skirt. In my hands, I held my bouquet of white, blue and silver satin roses—the one I had had made for our wedding three decades ago.

Next to me, Christian was wearing a light grey suit with his old silver tie. The latter rarely saw the light of day anymore, for we didn't wish for it to get ruined due to overuse.

We walked unhurriedly across the living room and towards the kitchen, knowing the light translucent curtains would be enough to keep us hidden from our guests. Once standing by the backyard's door, I peeked through a window, looking for Mia. She was supposed to give us the signal to walk down the aisle, as the song for the occasion had been kept a secret from us. My sister-in-law was standing at the right of the last row of chairs, but her eyes were focused on our guests, who weren't done picking their seats. Thus, I let my eyes wander and noticed not one person, but five dashing young adults standing by the lake, in front of the chairs.

"Christian, look!"

Mia had insisted she had arranged a surprise for us regarding the officiant, knowing the ceremony didn't have any legal implications and virtually anyone could do the job. It would seem the duty was to be shared by our five kids. They were standing side by side, from oldest to youngest, wearing varying shades of blue. Teddy, our oldest, was dressed in an oxford blue suit. The clothes of his siblings grew lighter according to age: Regina was wearing a short navy blue dress, Rebecca, a royal blue one, Collin, a cornflower blue suit, and lastly, Belle, an ice blue dress.

Once everyone was seated, our kids stood straight and proud on the wooden dock, in front of five microphones. Upon a signal I couldn't discern from where we were standing, the five of them started singing at the same time:

Wise men say

Only fools rush in

But I can't help falling in love with you

Luckily, my husband had been keeping an eye on Mia, so he was able to offer me his arm and walk me out the door when she waved for us to get out of the house.

Shall I stay?

Would it be a sin

If I can't help falling in love with you?

Our children kept singing a cappella like angels as we walked towards the aisle, all those expensive singing classes having paid off. Our guests didn't seem to know whether to look at us or them. I couldn't have been prouder. Unsurprisingly, I was already shedding a few tears.

As we walked down the short aisle arm in arm, they sang the chorus:

Like a river flows

Surely to the sea

Darling, so it goes

Some things are meant to be

And finally, when Christian and I had reached our talented children, we turned to look at each other as they finished the song:

Take my hand,

Take my whole life, too

For I can't help falling in love with you

But I can't help falling in love with you

I beamed at our children, and they smiled back at us.

Without further ado, Teddy began talking: "We have gathered here today, in the love of friendship and family, to celebrate the renewal of the marriage vows between Christian and Anastasia."

"Good relationships never stop growing," continued Gina. "Like fine wine, they get better with age. Our parents have now been happily married for thirty years."

"They have travelled a long journey full of love and laughter, with the occasional tears and pain," spoke Bex. "Through better and worse, they have stayed together."

"One of the greatest blessings of marriage is the joy and responsibility of raising a family," added Collin before continuing with a playful grin. "Christian and Ana have truly been blessed to be the parents of my siblings and me. But we were even more blessed to have them as parents," he concluded with a warm smile.

"Every day of our lives, they have shown us that marriage is a precious gift," spoke Belle, "a lifelong dedication to a partner, and a daily challenge to love one another more fully and more freely."

"With this understanding," concluded Teddy, "Mum and Dad, I invite you to join hands and renew the promises you gave to each other on your wedding day."

Smiling as widely as he had thirty years ago, Christian began speaking clearly and loudly.

"When we first met, I had no idea you would be so important to me. And I still didn't fully comprehend it the day we got married. We didn't have love at first sight, but with every fight and every challenge and every laugh, I fell more in love with you. And in three decades, I never stopped falling. I know, much like I did back then, that I never will stop.

"So on this day, I still do take you to be my best friend, my lawful wife and my forever love. I promise to keep encouraging you, inspiring you and challenging you. I promise to take you on age-appropriate adventures," I chuckled, "to nap with you and to cuddle with you as we watch movies. And I promise to let you talk through them, even if our kids hate it."

I snickered. Our children had always complained about that.

"I promise to keep listening to everything you have to say, so long as you say it loudly enough." The crowd laughed. "I also promise to stay stubborn and bicker with you and compromise with you.

"And through it all, I promise to love you irrevocably, deeply and steadily, with all my heart and every cell of my body.

"Let these thirty years be proof that our love will never fade, that we will always find strength in one another, and that we will continue to grow side by side. And not just grow old, but also wise! Never forget that I belong with you, you belong with me, and I will always love you."

We beamed at each other like fools in love before I began my speech.

"When we first met, I had no plans of falling in love with you. I didn't expect to get to know you, adore you and love you. I didn't expect to marry you, or have children and grandchildren with you. Grow old with you.

"Yet on this day, I still do take you to be my best friend, my faithful partner and my one true love. I promise to keep encouraging, supporting and believing in you. I promise to remain your rock and your sunshine when you need me the most. I will keep laughing with you, crying with you and being stubborn with you. And I will keep compromising with you.

"I promise not to obey you, never to be docile and to keep you guessing as often as I can. Which, admittedly, has got harder after three decades. I promise to never stop frustrating you and challenging you. That has gotten easier with time." Our guests laughed.

"But most importantly, I promise to love you unconditionally for the rest of my life. For while you are everything I never expected and more than I had ever imagined, you have proven to be the only partner I will ever need, and the only one I will ever want. I will love you forever and beyond.

After a few seconds of silence and several happy tears, our five children chorused together: "We now pronounce you as much in love as you were thirty years ago."

"You may now kiss," added Belle.

Clapping thundered around us as our lips met chastely.

We had already taken several pictures with our children, daughters-in-law and grandchildren before the guests' arrival, so we moved straight to the dance floor as the sun set behind the house. A single spotlight was turned on in the middle of the pool's enclosure to make up for the fading light.

"Please make room for Mr and Mrs Grey as they share the first dance of the evening," spoke Elliot from a mike placed by the windows opposite the sliding doors that opened to the yard. He stepped aside and Regina took his place. Recorded piano music began playing from the loudspeakers and Christian and I started to dance. Not ten seconds later Gina's impressive voice filled the room as she began singing 'All of Me' from John Legend.

After twenty minutes of slow dancing, Elliot requested us to move to the tent, where dinner would be served. The area was full of chatter and laughter as our guests sat wherever they wished. Only the table closest to the lake had assigned seats, as it had been reserved for my husband and me, plus our closest family members: Grace and Carrick, Mum and Dad—Bob had passed away a few years ago and both of my parents had moved to Lynnwood, half an hour north from me—Teddy, his wife Bianca 'Snow' and their daughter Joanne, Gina, her wife Emma and their son Henry, Bex and her boyfriend Sean, Collin, Belle, Kate, Elliot and their kids Eva and Alex, and Mia, Ethan and their girls Jackie and Jasmin.

Once everyone had finished the second course, our kids climbed up the stage to steal the show for the last time. Collin sat behind the drums that took up a third of the small stage, and Belle grabbed a guitar. The latter shared a microphone with Teddy, while Gina and Bex stood behind the reminding one. As they sang 'No Matter Where You Are' by Us The Duo with energy and enthusiasm, a video of pictures was projected behind them. Starting with the photo from my graduation that had been taken by the press not two weeks after we had officially met, the video showed Christian and I become closer together: there was us in Georgia, at the Masked Ball, during Christian's twenty-eighth birthday, in New York, and in Montesano.

My eyes watered as I watched pictures of Christian proposing, our bachelor/bachelorette party in Aspen, the rehearsal, and our wedding. A few pictures of our honeymoon were quickly followed by our first Christmas and New Year's celebration, and then there I was, big as a house and pregnant with Teddy. One by one our kids started appearing on the screen before growing taller and louder and more talented as the years passed. There was Teddy between Christian and me before his first school play, Gina kicking ass either in kickboxing or debates with us cheering on her, Bex and her epic science projects smiling as proudly as us, Collin with his many instruments or playing basketball while we celebrated his victories, Belle dancing ballet or buried among books by my side… Them posing with us after graduating High School and College, our eldest two getting married and giving us grandchildren to spoil… As the song grew to a close, the video showed us kissing at the vows renewal ceremony.

Clapping followed, and then an hour and a half of dancing. Afterwards, we cut the white three-layered cake, decorated with pearls in correspondence with our anniversaries' traditional gift. As our guests ate either the cake of other offered sweets, such as pies and ice-cream, Christian and I stepped onto the small stage.

"Excuse me. My wife and I were hoping to have your attention for several minutes before going back to the dancefloor. First and foremost, we want to thank everyone's presence, not only today but in the last several years."

"Today we are surrounded by our closest family and friends," I continued. "Those who we have had the pleasure to know for at the very least a decade, and who we know will remain in our hearts for many years to come. And we have realized that, as you've all known us for so long, most of you mustn't remember the story of how Christian and I met and fell in love. So tonight, we invite you to walk down the memory lane with us, and beg you indulge us as we tell you our story."

"Exactly thirty years, four months and five days ago, Anastasia Rose Steele walked into my life," began Christian. It wasn't technically a lie, for up until then, it had been him the one walking into the room I was kneeling at. "She was days away from graduating from college and had gone to my office to interview me for Washington University's paper. I was expecting a shy scared little thing who I'd forget about in a day or two, but as you all know my wife well, I don't need to tell you I was in for a surprise! The years and experience have increased her confidence, of course, but even back then she was a force to behold, impossible to intimidate. I was taken with her immediately: she was beautiful and self-confident, and uninterested in going out of her way to please me just because I was some well-known CEO."

"Just for the record, I had never heard of you before that day," I reminded him playfully, making our audience laugh. Every adult above forty currently sitting in our backyard had heard about Mr Grey long before they had had the opportunity to meet him.

"She wasn't afraid to tell me what she thought," he pointed out, his tone of voice making it clear it wasn't meant as a compliment. Our guests chuckled and giggled. "So naturally, I asked her out to dinner…

"But I was busy with finals and a bit warry of this rich stranger with the world in the palm of his hand, so I refused. But he practically begged, so I relented. And I'm glad I did.

"At first, our relationship was unstable at best. We fought just as often as we agreed, but we found each other interesting, and funny, and kind… so we decided to stick together, and eventually part without broken hearts when our relationship naturally expired…

"We wouldn't make good fortune-tellers. We were heads over heels in a matter of weeks, but never having been in love before, we didn't realize what was happening. My friend Kate and my mother insisted we were helplessly in love with each other, but I stubbornly refused to agree. I used to think Christian was the opposite of the kind of men I wanted to marry, but once again I was proven wrong."

"Against our wishes, but in favour of all odds, we did fall in love with each other," concluded Christian. "One day, I stopped just seeing GEH's growth and success in my future, but also a blue-eyed brunette who had stolen my heart. I fell in love with her, and I knew she would protect and care for my heart like no other.

"So, much too soon according to the rest of the world, in this very backyard, I asked her to marry me; to share the rest of her life with me. Not many know this, but I gave her time to consider it: as many days or even weeks as she needed. She thanked me for my patience, and less than five minutes later agreed to become my wife."

"We didn't care for a long engagement and incessant wedding planning, so we got married five weeks later," I added. "On Tuesday we will be celebrating exactly thirty years of being happily married. For this occasion, we are thankful not only of each other but also of all of you: all the family and friends who have accompanied us with love and support, through good and bad, in sickness and health."

"So we ask you to raise your glasses and toast with us for the last happy three decades, and for the many decades to come. Cheers."

"Cheers!" exclaimed back our guests.

"I love you," I whispered to Christian before kissing him.

"I love you too, baby. Much more than I thought I would ever be capable of. Thank you for loving me when I was broken, and for teaching me to love both myself and you."

And we lived happily ever after

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Also, the name of the 'children' were taken either from Once Upon a Time characters or the cast.

The version of 'Can't Help Falling in Love' I have in mind is the one from Pentatonix.

On May 2016 I first read the one-shot that inspired this story, Dirty Little Secret by SdaisyS. I was left wanting more, so I decided to write the story I wanted to read, not knowing I'd finish it four years later and upload it here. Yet here I am, over 160,000 words later, with this monster of a story I never thought I'd be capable of writing.

As I said before, endings are hard for me to write (you woudn't believe the number of incomplete stories from various fandoms in my computer), so I'm super open to suggestions about this epilogue! Seriously, I would even re-qrite it if you told me so.

I'm not ready to let these guys go after four fears of an on-and-off relationship, so stay tuned for more (but be patient with me; did I mention this took me four long years plus months of quarantine?). I've got two ideas in my head (a continuation and Christian's POV) so make sure to follow me (author, not story).

This chapter was for fundays, VampireQueen-D, Foggynights, Anne Shirley Blythe, Tammi, myPhiladelphia, my-completeness, Anne Shirley Blythe, Joy98, and everyone else who's accompanied me during the last two months. Thank you for your constant kind words and encouragement. Stay safe!