Chapter 12:

It was well past mid-night when she pulled up to the house. It was bathed in darkness but yet there was still something so inviting about it, no matter how many years have gone by it would always be a home to her, it was the place she grew up, the place where her dreams began to take shape. She knew she shouldn't be here, but she didn't want to go home tonight, not alone to an empty house. It had been a long day and she was exhausted. She walked up to the porch and grabbed the key under the arm of the porch swing. She crept into the house, dropped her bag and keys on the coffee table and stood in the center of the living room.

She closed her eyes and breathed. She was starting to second guess herself as she wrapped her arms around herself. 'I shouldn't be here' she thought. She didn't have a right to be, not anymore but still, she couldn't make herself leave. She needed to feel safe and loved and she didn't know where else to go. Before she even thought through the implications, she was walking down the hall to the last door.

She opened the door and was instantly assaulted with the feel of it. There was the warmth of his body radiating through the room, the lingering smell of his aftershave combined with soap. Just standing in the door made her feel calm, her breathing became more manageable and her heart slowed down. That should have been enough. She knew she should turn and leave before anyone was the wiser, but her feet were moving before she could even think to stop them.

She gently pulled back the covers and slipped in. She moved as close as she could without touching him and took a few deep breaths.

"Ray?" he asked sleepily as his eyes fluttered open.

"Hi," she said in a broken whisper.

"What are you…"

"Daddy had a heart attack," she squeaked out before she began to cry.

Deacon was half asleep and confused to her presence in his bed, but he scooted over and gathered her into his arms as she wept. When she finally calmed down, she told him what had happened. Finding out about her mother's affair with her mentor Watty, learning it was her own father who drove her mother off the road the night she died and finally the fight she and Lamar had that lead to his heart attack. It was as if everything she had known about her family was a complete fabrication. They had all lied to her, her father, Watty and Tandy. They all claimed it was to protect her, but she knew better, they were protecting themselves. She was angry that her family had betrayed her but more than that she was devastated, feeling like she was losing all those precious memories of her mother. She always lived with the belief that her mother was taken away from her by some accident in the middle of the night but now she knew the truth, that her mother was leaving her to be with someone else.

"I know I shouldn't have come here but I didn't know where else to go," she said sniffling and trying to wipe away her tears. Deacon didn't know what to say and for Rayna his silence was deafening. "I'm sorry, I'll go," she finished as she slid out the bed and from his soothing embrace.

"Ray, it's late and you're upset, you're not going anywhere," he said as he sat up a little to look at her. "Stay, I'll get you something to sleep in," he motioned to get up, but she put up her hand.

He couldn't see in the dark, but she had a slight smile on her face. "Don't, I can do it."

He watched her silhouette as she walked over to his dresser, pulling open one drawer and then another. He watched as she pulled her shirt over her head and shimmed out of her jeans. He watched as she put on a pair of his boxers and then threw one of his tee-shirts over her head. She hesitated for a moment then seemed to shrug before un-hooking her bra and dropping it to the floor with the rest of her clothes. He then watched as she made her way back to the bed picking up a pillow.

"What you are doing?"

"I'm getting a pillow, so I can sleep on the couch," she said unsure of herself.

"Get in Ray," he demanded a little annoyed.

She was closer now and he could almost make out her smile. She bit her lip, hesitating but when Deacon pulled back the comforter she got in and nestled against him her head on his chest. "You're on my side."

"It's my side now," he said closing his eyes and bringing his arm around her as he began to trace circles over her back like he did a million times before. She immediately relaxed and in doing so muscle memory took over and she wrapped one leg around his causing him to sigh.

"Deacon?"

"Yeah?" he asked drowsily.

"Thank you," she said burrowing just a little closer.

He chuckled softly. "Like I even have a choice when it comes to you Ray."

They both drifted off to sleep more content and peaceful than they had been in months. This was Deacon and Rayna at their core. Sure, they had the music and a physical passion that could light a fire, but it was in moments like these, entangled with each other in the quiet of the night, that they felt most like themselves. When they felt loved, secure and happy. In the morning they wouldn't be able to escape their troubles, they never had been, but for the next few hours, under the cover of darkness, they both surrendered themselves to one another.

Deacon rose early and watched the woman he held in his arms. Her hair was a mess, she had mascara and tear streaks down her cheeks, and she was slightly snoring, but Deacon couldn't think of a more beautiful woman. He was one of the only people who ever got to see her like this, open and vulnerable. He guessed that was what made the last twenty-six years together so damn amazing and so damn hard. He shared in his AAA meetings and opened up about his past but there was a side of him that he could never open up to anyone but her. That's why it hurt so much that she couldn't trust him and that she couldn't open herself all the way again. She did once and he smashed her world both literally and figuratively. He had to live with that fact, and he accepted it, but he couldn't accept always being at arm's length, close but never close enough to interweave their lives together as one.

He knew last night was a reprieve, a gift as so many moments with her seemed to be anymore but the sun had risen and so had the reality of their lives. He bent his head and kissed her on the forehead. "I love you Rayna," he whispered before slipping out of bed to start his day.

He showered and dressed then checked on the girls to make sure they were up and starting their day. Daphne was their early morning riser. She had always been that way but Maddie, like her mother was a late sleeper and terrible morning person. Maddie was still in the bathroom when Daphne appeared in the kitchen ready for her breakfast. Deacon sat a plate in front of her and watched her as he sipped his coffee.

"Your staring Dad."

"Sorry baby, I was just thinking about what you were like when you were a baby," he said smiling at her.

"Really? What was I like?" she asked excitedly. Her parents didn't often reminisce about the past and she loved it when they gave her a little peek into the life she couldn't remember, the life they had as a family.

"Well, I was just thinking Maddie's like your momma, she sleeps in late and is terrible in the morning."

"Tell me about…," she said rolling her eyes "… I have to live with them."

He laughed but continued. "You have always been like me, up and ready to face the day with the sun. When you were very little, I used to get you from your crib, and I would put you in bed with me and your momma and give you a bottle. After you were done you would snuggle up right next to her and fall back asleep. Two of the prettiest girls in the world, side by side."

Daphne smiled widely. One the rare occasion that her parents did talk about the past it was usually about Maddie or all four of them. It was nice to have a memory of just her and her parents. "Dad?"

"Yeah baby?"

"Do you miss it? Us being a family?" she asked, no trace of sadness, only curiosity.

"We're still a family," he tried skirting around the question, but her small face let him know that his answer wasn't acceptable. He rubbed a hand over his face and through his hair. "Yeah baby, I miss it."

It was then that Maddie made her entrance and he knew he was off the hook with Daphne at least for the time being.

"Moring sweetheart." Maddie didn't answer, instead she rolled her eyes and walked towards the spot at the table with a full plate of breakfast. Before she could sit down, a vibration sounded through the room and Maddie's head snapped up towards the living room where her attention was now on a woman's purse sitting innocently on the coffee table.

Maddie's eyes were as big as saucers and a red streak of anger shot up her neck. "Are you kidding me!" she spat at her father who was looking a little confused.

Daphne followed her sister's gaze and hopped of her chair towards the offending bag. The phone beside it was still ringing. She looked down and when she recognized the name and face, she picked it up. "Hello?" she was silent for a few seconds before turning to her father in confusion. "Dad, where's mom?"

"She's still sleeping baby. Who is it?"

"Dad said she's still sleeping," she responded to the person on the phone.

Another few seconds and Daphne brought the phone over to Deacon. "Aunt Tandy wants to talk to you," she said handing him the phone and sitting down.

Deacon walked out of the room to continue the conversation with Tandy. Maddie was still standing when Daphne asked if she was going to eat breakfast.

"Mom's here," she said aloud.

"I guess," Daphne shrugged.

"She slept…"

Daphne looked around and into the living room. Then her eyes widened as she looked up at her sister. "In dad's room!" she exclaimed as smiled spread across both their faces. "Maddie, when's the last time mom and dad slept in the same room?"

"I don't… I think not since he moved out of our house." Maddie still stood in awe. She was angry when she thought her dad had snuck Stacie in the house while they were sleeping but knowing that it was her mother made her so incredibly happy.

"Wow," Daphne said in awe.

"Yeah… wow," Maddie said, finally shaking herself out of her trance, sitting down to eat. "Eat up Daph, were gonna be late," she said messing her sister's hair and smiling ear to ear.

Daphne smoothed her hair back into place and looked up at her sister, one eyebrow raised. "If you're going to be this nice, mom should stay her more often. I could get used to this." Daphne ended nodding her head in approval.

"Me too Daph, me too."

It was about an hour later when Rayna started to stir. She stretched and opened her eyes slightly before closing them and curling back into a ball. Despite her sore throat and puffy eyes, she had the best sleep she had in a long time. She smiled trying to hold onto the delicious dream she was having but couldn't quit remember it. Then something did float to the top of her consciousness, she recognized this room and this bed, but she shouldn't be in it. Realizing suddenly where she was, she shot up from her prone state. She was fully awake now and her eyes were darting back and forth as the events of the previous night where running through her head. Then as if on cue Deacon knocked on the door and came in.

"Ray," he said his voice quiet. He opened the door all the way and smiled softly when he saw her. "Good you're awake," he said as he walked up next to her and handed her a cup of coffee. She took a few sips then looked up at him in apprehension. "How you doen?"

"Ummm… okay"

He looked up at her suspiciously. He knew there was no way she was doing okay after what she had told him about her family the previous night. He assumed she was doing what she always did and was trying to put it in a box and bury it. What he couldn't know was that that her heart was racing, and she was reaching a new level of panic internally as she processed that she has spent the night wrapped in his arms. That box was most definitely buried, and she was treading on dangerous ground having it come so close to the surface.

He did notice that she pulled the covers up a little closer to her chest. He sighed assuming that she was starting to shut down emotionally and there was no point in trying to get her to talk about how she was feeling. "Tandy called; she's worried about you."

"I'll bet she is," Rayna murmured.

"Seriously Rayna, she didn't sound so good this morning, she's been calling since last night and when she went to the house this morning, she panicked a little when you weren't there."

"You're defending her now?" she asked with an edge in her voice. "Never thought I'd see the day."

"I'm not… she's your sister and she's worried. I know you're pissed at her right now, but she is the only other person in this world who knows what you're going through and y'all are gonna need each other." He sat down on the bed beside her and placed a hand on hers. She pulled it away as if it burned. "Fine," he said standing back up. "You should also know that the girls know you were here last night."

"What?" she exclaimed, her eyes mimicking those of Maddie earlier.

"They noticed your purse in the living room and when Tandy called looking for you, Daphne answered your phone."

"Oh," she said a little embarrassed. "What did they say?"

"Nothing really," he started, shoving his hand in his pocket. "I did tell them about Lamar though, told them you were upset and stayed here. They accepted it."

"Okay. Thank you… for telling them," she said giving him a sad smile. The room was silent for a minute before Rayan found her voice again. "I guess I should start this day."

"Yeah, go for it," he took a few steps towards the door then stopped, leaning up against the doorframe. She looked up at him expecting him to say something, but he just stood looking at her, sipping his coffee. "What?" he finally asked.

"You just gonna stand there and watch me get dressed?" she asked still holding the blanket against her.

"Yupp"

"Deacon!"

"What, not like it isn't anything I haven't seen before besides…"

"Besides what?" she said smiling now.

"I need to supervise." He was smiling at her.

"Supervise what?" she asked a blush rising.

"That…," he said pointing at her with his coffee "…is my favorite tee-shirt and I want to make sure it doesn't grow legs and walk out of here," he finished eyeing her.

"First of all, this isn't your favorite tee-shirt, not even your second or third. Secondly, I do not steal your things," she said primly. "Now can you please leave so I can get up and get dressed?"

"First of all, yes, you do steal my things and you have been ever since I let you move in with me. Secondly, your right, that isn't my favorite tee-shirt and you know that because somewhere stashed away in that big fancy house is my first, second and third favorite tee-shirt and I ain't letting you get your hands on my fourth." She looked at him incredulously while at the same time a grin spread across her face. "Lastly, I will leave so you can get dressed but only because you said please." He walked through the door a matching grin on his face.

"Deacon!" she yelled, and he pooped his head back through the door. "Did the girls leave me any breakfast?" He looked at her with one eye closed contemplating. "Bacon and eggs and I'll consider looking for those favorite tee-shirts?"

"Deal!" he said nodding his head. He headed back to the kitchen shaking his head, knowing that she had no intention of looking for those tee-shirts let alone giving them back.