"Well, boss, I'm just as surprised as you are. Who would have guessed that Diva was an amazing cook?" Perry intentionally made loud smacking noises as he ate the plate of leftovers that Eva sent for him. "Boss!" Finally reaching his breaking point, he slapped his hand against the bar top. "What's the matter with you? You've been spacey all day."
John looked at him inquisitively. He hadn't heard most of what Perry said. "I haven't been listening. What's up?" Thoughts of Eva had been distracting him constantly. They hit a rough patch in the middle of dinner but were able to work it out. It was the hug that she surprised him with that kept him so distracted. He told her he wanted her friendship with no pretense, but that was far from the truth. The feeling of her being in his arms again just felt right.
John signed off on the January schedule and slid it over to Perry. Now that the administrative paperwork was out of the way, he was free to relax for the rest of the weekend. Though relax was a subjective word. He'd made plans with Eva, so she would be keeping him company for a large chunk of time. She was actually a little late for their afternoon outing.
Perry just shook his head. "Nothing important." From John's mood, he guessed that things hadn't gone as well with Eva as he planned. His experience as a bartender told him to let this thing go. Whatever was between them was something that he wouldn't dare dabble in. "Oh, I left some more 'demos' in your office. There's a whole host of people who think they can fill Diva's shoes, but I'm skeptical.
"Mhm." John wasn't exactly in the mood to hold auditions for whomever would take Eva's place. The crowd really enjoyed the entertainment, so he knew it would only be detrimental to the bar if he didn't fill the void that she was creating.
"I say good riddance!" Jill's familiar voice rang out from beside them.
"Gee, I wonder why that is." Perry eyed her suspiciously. After everything that happened, she had some never showing up here.
"Jill, welcome." John nodded at her politely. He wasn't expecting to see her again so soon. "What brings you by?"
She slid into the barstool beside him smiling brightly. "Just wanted to pop in and say hello. See how the holiday was for you both. I can see that someone's mommy took care of them." She hinted at Perry's plate. "Smells amazing."
Perry had the thought to tell her that he was eating Eva's leftovers, but he knew that would just cause a headache for John. He would just have to endure Jill for now. "Tastes even better."
John checked his watch again and wondered what was keeping Eva. Her bad timing meant that she would run into Jill, and John wasn't in the mood for any drama. There wasn't a quick and tactful way to get rid of her, so John would have to find a way to keep the peace.
"What about you, John? You didn't spend Thanksgiving all alone did you?" Jill was still disappointed that he turned down her offer. In her mind, it was her best chance at kindling a romance between them.
"Not all of it. Definitely not traditional, but I guess that's how I like it." He opted for a simplistic truth. There was no need to get her all fired up about Eva when she would be appearing shortly. John had the brilliant idea to text Eva to meet him upstairs at his apartment. The plan would have worked except he heard the sound of her phone getting a text message.
"A little help." Eva was dragging a large cardboard box with one hand and balancing a plate in the other.
John noted her appearance as he hurried over to help her. She looked more casual than he'd seen her before. Dressed in all black with complimentary black dangling earrings, her hair was pulled back into a ponytail with a bump in the front to complete the look. He took the box from her and dragged it out of the way. It was a good enough distraction to stop him from staring.
"Here." Eva plopped the plate down in front of Perry. "I'm sure you probably don't want this, but John forgot to grab it. It's just a bunch of sweets." She saw that Perry was already digging into the other leftovers she sent. "John, I've just got to grab a couple more things and I'll be ready." Jill was between them, but she looked past her as if she didn't even exist. At this point, Jill owed her an apology, and she was willing to wait her out for it.
Jill looked between the two men as Eva left. It was obvious now that John had turned down her offer to keep Eva company. Perry just gave her an 'I told you so' grin as he shoveled more food into his mouth. "John, do you have a minute?" She smiled though she was seething on the inside.
"Probably just a minute." John situated the box where it wouldn't be bothered by anyone. "Come on back." He started back towards his office to grab his jacket. Playing clueless really wasn't going to cut it. If Jill was going to go off on him, he wanted it to happen privately. They stepped into his office and she slammed the door behind them.
"Okay, I think I deserve an explanation." She stepped past him and tossed her purse into a chair. "I thought you wanted to be alone for Thanksgiving."
John didn't acknowledge her anger. He didn't owe her an explanation, but he would give her one anyway. It was way past time to clear the air between them. "Are you mad that I wasn't alone or mad that I was with Eva? Either way, it's really none of your business." He walked around her and grabbed his keys and jacket.
"None of my business? Why don't we just cut the crap? I saw the way you were looking at her. You could have told me that you had feelings for her. I've been chasing after you like some idiot and just let me." She put her hands on her hips angrily.
John chuckled and looked at her in awe. "That wasn't obvious from the first time we met?" He recalled their first interaction. "I told you point blank that I wasn't interested."
"No," she interrupted. "You said that you were working on yourself and that it wouldn't be fair to put me through that. I was willing to help you through whatever that was, but instead you'd rather be with her."
John stared at her for a moment. In the past, he had trouble with women because he would let them get close, but he was never able to verbalize what he was feeling. This time he kept Jill at arm's length and was clear that he wasn't interested in her. He was baffled that things had still turned out poorly. "That was me being kind, thoughtful, or whatever you want to call it. I offered you friendship because that's what I was interested in. Anything beyond that is on you."
Jill crumpled into the closest chair and immediately started crying. "I know that. Why would you want me? Why would anyone want me?" Her hiccupped sobs distorted her words.
John knew better than to go to her. This mess was something of her own creation. He wouldn't go apologizing when he had been direct and sincere with her. "Eva and I are friends. Maybe that turns into something more and maybe it doesn't. That shouldn't have any effect on our friendship."
"Are you kidding? How can it not? She ruined my life." She stopped her tears long enough to laugh bitterly.
"Sounds a little dramatic." John folded his arms across his chest and checked his watch. Perry would only be able to keep Eva at bay for so long. "I heard about what happened at the grocery store." He hoped to pull some honesty out of her with that revelation.
"Figures. She went right to you to tattle. Bitch. She probably went to the board too." She swiped her hair out of her eyes and tried to regain her composure.
"Actually, she didn't mention it at all. Perry had the video pulled up and was laughing it up with a couple of cooks." He saw the sickened look of regret on her face. The sad thing was that she was very much now like the Eva she so very much loathed. "Welcome to the future. Everyone lives with their cellphones waiting to find or be the next viral video."
"That's just great." She settled into the chair even though it was clear that John was ready to leave. "Terrific."
John felt his phone buzz in his pocket. When he checked, he saw a message from Eva, "Should we reschedule?" All the times that he made Evangeline take a backseat while he dealt with others' drama came to mind. He wouldn't put Eva through that too. "What I saw was someone who maybe needed some time to get herself together. It happens to the best of us."
"I don't know what to do, John. My whole life is falling a part. I'm falling a part." Her eyes were begging him to stay.
Despite her silent plea, John started to slip his coat on. "I know you've had a rough go of it for the last little while, but that's what the holiday is all about. Reflecting on the positive instead of the negative." He waited to see if she would make a graceful exit. She made not motion to move, so John would make the decision for her. "I'll let Perry know you're back here. Take all the time you need."
"Thanks." She looked at him with disappointment written all over her face.
"I'll see you later." John departed and left the door open behind him. It was hard to leave a friend in need, but he knew it was best for both of them this way.
Eva looked out the window at the passing scenery. Winter was still a few weeks away, but the leaves had fallen from the trees and a bitter cold had settled in. She was hoping for a white Christmas even though it was still too early to forecast.
The thought of Christmas made her uneasy. She had a good enough reason to miss Thanksgiving, so Lisa was understanding. Now she was planning to miss Christmas as well and hadn't found the right way to break the news. It was just another annoyance on a growing list of things to handle, but she was up for the challenge.
She glanced over at John and remembered how he'd broken through her tough exterior. Her life would be a lot easier if people were as easy going as he was. That was her thought, but she could see the tension in his jaw.
Back at the bar, he emerged from his office with a forced smile that she and Perry had picked up on. Since it was about Jill, she chose not to ask about it. Whatever had happened was really getting to him. The long ride to Olympia had started out nice. Then John turned on the radio and allowed the soft jazz to cover his end of the conversation.
Eva reached over and muted the volume. She got no reaction from. He was clearly lost in thought and on autopilot. "John, is everything okay?"
He blinked as if he'd awoken from a dream. He tried to recover but noted that the radio was now off. It was obvious that he hadn't been paying attention to her. "Yeah, guess I was just focused." The look on her face was clear enough to say that she wasn't buying it. "I was thinking about Jill. She was pretty upset."
'It's obvious that you're worried about her. Why don't we just do this another time?' That was what the voice inside of her was saying. "I'll bet. Did she tell you what happened?" The desire to spend time with him overrode any sense of noble self-sacrifice.
"Didn't really get into it. I'm sure she would have told me if I asked." John slowed the speed of the car. They weren't in a rush. It was better to be more careful if his attention was going to be divided. "We had plans and I'd already kept you waiting." He made sure that she knew he was choosing to spend time with her. It wasn't that he didn't care about Jill. He just cared about Eva more.
"That's pretty considerate since I made you wait on me." Eva smiled on the inside.
"So, what's the story with Jill?" He grabbed his can of soda and took a sip before setting it back down in the cupholder.
Eva looked at him with raised eyebrows. If she didn't tell him, he'd just hear it anyway from the rumor mill. "I didn't mention that I saw Jill the other night ago at the grocery store. She's still pissed and she got a little carried away. We argued very publicly. Neither of us noticed the school secretary there. She recorded everything and sent it to the principal."
"Didn't really look like an argument to me; more like an attack." John was surprised that she continued to give Jill the benefit of the doubt or paint her in a favorable light. He questioned whether Eva ha truly been mean to her or if Jill was just overly sensitive.
"I should have guessed if Perry knew that you would too." She absentmindedly fingered the tab on his soda can. "The principal called me early this morning to talk about it. She was already on thin ice because of her lack of involvement with the student. Very careful words were used, but Jill's too much of a liability right now. She's been suspended effective immediately."
"I thought you said she'd be fine because of her tenure." He glanced between her and the road. Jill's situation was unfortunate, but he was more concerned that her new availability would mean she'd be at the bar even more frequently.
"Fine doesn't mean beyond punishment." She bristled at the harshness of her own words. "If we didn't have that run in at the grocery store, I'm sure things would be different. Those two incidents back to back are cause for concern. I think they just want to give her some time to reflect on her actions. She'll probably be back at the start of the spring semester." Eva tried to put a positive spin on it, but Jill's fate was very much in the air. It was probably inappropriate, but the principal mentioned that Jill had been disciplined on other occasions. John would have to get that information from her.
John shrugged his shoulders. "Guess she'll just have to wait and see what happens." He again let his thoughts wander and silence filled the air.
Eva waited patiently for a few minutes before speaking up again. "John, you're doing it again. You used up all your words yesterday?" She smiled at him warmly. This time she would make sure that he knew when she was joking.
"That must be it." He sighed and adjusted the temperature in the car. "What do you want to talk about?" It had always been easiest for him to just sit and listen with the occasional head nod.
"Whatever's on your mind. You are clearly distracted, so I'm sure whatever I was planning on talking about would go in one ear and out the other." She adjusted the vents facing her that were now blowing out cooler air.
Of course, she wouldn't let him off that easy. "Okay, maybe you can give me a woman's perspective on something." He couldn't tell her exactly what he was thinking, but he could be a little more open.
"Ooh. Well, I'll give you my opinion. Just don't hold it against me." She quickly surmised that whatever was distracting him was probably related to a woman.
For a moment, John thought better of broaching the subject. "Jill has feelings for me." He chose the most direct approach. "I told her up front that I'm not interested in more than friendship, but somehow she was reading that maybe there could be more. It's the kind of thing that you brush off as a misunderstanding, but it ain't exactly the first time it's happened to me."
A wide smile grew on Eva's face. "Nice humble brag." She poked at his arm playfully. "Guess you think you're a total stud, huh?"
"Oh boy." Despite being embarrassed, John smiled as well. "So, maybe before it was on me. I said 'just friends', but I blurred the lines enough to cause a problem. I was totally upfront with Jill." He thought back to the kiss at the coffee shop. There was no way that she could have misinterpreted that. He told her exactly what was going on.
"Well, it sounds like you learned your lesson from before. If you're just talking about Jill, I wouldn't stress over it. She is very intense; like I love you on the first date intense." Eva let a little extra information slip, but John wasn't interested romantically so it wouldn't do too much harm. "She will meet some other guy and she'll lose interest." The best answer was to distance himself from her, but there wasn't a good way to say that so that she didn't look jealous. "So, John McBain is Mr. Irresistible. Thank you for so graciously taking this outing with me. I'm sure all of your ladies are just wearing poor Perry out."
John laughed out loud. Many women at the bar had made offers to keep him company. The older women especially loved him. It was great for business and, of course, flattering.
"And what exactly is it that makes you so irresistible?" Eva liked the sound of his laughter almost as much as she liked watching him squirm.
"Besides my sparkling personality? Probably my sense of humor. I'm a pretty funny guy." He looked over at her and saw the smile on her face. For a moment, it felt like old times.
"Okay, that and what else?" All the laughing left her parched. She sipped her water and looked at him out of the corner of her eye.
"I'm a pretty good lay." His completely uncharacteristic answer caught her off guard. Water sprayed out of her mouth onto the dashboard and windshield.
"John," she squealed at the mess she made.
He reached over and opened the glovebox to reveal a roll of paper towels. "I told you I was funny." He winked at her and watched as she started to clean up.
"I will definitely give you that one." Eva couldn't stop smiling. Being with John was starting to feel very comfortable. Whatever was budding between them needed to be addressed before one of them turned into Jill. She resolved to have that conversation sooner rather than later.
John groaned and stretched as he walked to the refrigerator. Today had been a long, eventful day and he was exhausted. He'd spent hours with Eva shopping for holiday decorations for the bar. At her insistence, they also picked out several things for his apartment. She argued that he needed to make the place feel like home and he conceded.
The whole trip was pleasant. They laughed and joked like old times. It was hard for John to reconcile that Eva was not supposed to be Evangeline. When she wasn't being combative, she was the Evangeline that he knew so well.
"Enough slacking, McBain. We're almost finished." Eva stared at him with her hands on her hips. After her performance at the bar, she schmoozed with the patrons as usual. She was still feeling energetic, so convinced John that it was a good time to start redecorating is apartment.
He grabbed a beer for himself and a water for her. "We're done." He handed her the water and walked past her to the sofa. "I'll take care of the rest and you can come by and critique it later."
"If you say so." Eva spun around and watched as he flopped down. "Okay, I'll just get out of your hair."
"You're not in the way. Stay as long as you like." He kicked his feet up onto the coffee table and stretched his arm out across the back of the sofa.
Eva set her drink down on the table and sat down with a cushion in between them. "Thanks for keeping me company today. Being alone is not always all it's cracked up to be." She unzipped her boots and kicked them off so that she could put her feet up on the sofa.
"Shopping is not my favorite thing, but it was nice just hanging out with you." He leaned forward to set his beer down and scooted in closer to her.
"So, I guess we should just talk about this," she blurted out suddenly. Him being so close to her was making her nervous.
"Talk about?" He turned toward her and looked at her with interest. He could tell that she was nervous for some reason.
She looked at him as if were obvious. Motioning between them, "I mean about us." Now it was her turn to be embarrassed. Either he was being dense, or he was paying her back for her teasing him earlier.
He shrugged as if he didn't know what she was talking about. It wasn't his intent to give her a hard time, but he wanted to hear what she had to say first. He wasn't going to put his foot in his mouth and assume that his romantic feelings mirrored hers.
"John," she bowed her head as she started, "please don't make this harder than it needs to be."
He scooted in closer and cupped her face gently. "You can tell me anything." The few hairs that brushed against his hand reminded him of how much he liked to run his hands through her hair.
She turned her head unable to withstand his intense stare. Her eyelids lowered as she tried to steady her heart. "You're not making this easy." She leaned in closer to him.
John leaned in too. Their forehead bumped together lightly. It took everything inside of him not to pull her in for a kiss. Instead, he combed his fingers gently through her hair.
"I think I have feelings for you." She looked up into soulful blue eyes. Mr. Irresistible was a sarcastic nickname, but he had drawn her in with no real effort.
"I know I have feelings for you, Eva." He moved in to kiss her and she backed away. Just like that the spell was broken.
"Then what are we supposed to do now? Just fall into bed and have sex every now and then?" She didn't have Evangeline's experience. A casual relationship was not something she could handle. "I'm sure you can tell me how well that worked out for you before."
"That wasn't why my relationship with Evangeline didn't work." Eva pulled away from him and he let her. "I wasn't ready to be the man that she needed. We may have started off casually, but our relationship was anything but."
"Okay, so then we date?" Eva didn't mean to come off as hostile, but it was her natural instinct when she was scared or uncertain.
"Would that really be so strange?" John wondered why that seemed so offensive to her. "Isn't that what people do? You hang out, get to know each other, and after a while you figure out what you're feeling."
"You two were together for months and you never figured it out. Things ended painfully for you two before. I'm not as strong as she is. I can't handle that." Eva was trying hard not to fall back into old habits, but she knew that a serious heartbreak would set her back.
John shook his head. "Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. Not every relationship ends in heartache. Things ended like they did because I was…well, I was an idiot. I let someone get between us. That kind of breakup is usually complicated." The ghosts from Llanview had followed him to Washington. "I don't want to hide anything about my relationship with Evangeline from you. I was in the wrong."
"Then maybe I'm just not sure I can trust you with my heart. How do I know I can trust you?" Eva could see the pain in his eyes. He wasn't trying to sugarcoat the past and deceive her. That was reassuring, but she needed more than just puppy dog eyes to drop her guard.
John was again reminded of a similar conversation that he shared with Evangeline. He convinced her then that he didn't intend on breaking her heart, but that's how things ended anyway. Now he was ready make the same assertion to Eva. "You can trust that I will be honest with. You can trust that I don't want to make the same mistake again."
"John," Eva started to move away, but he pulled her in, "I don't want to get hurt."
John moved the hair away from the side of her head and whispered into her ear. "Just get to know me first. Then you can decide on what you really feel. I won't hurt you again."
Eva turned her head and looked at him again. The way she felt in his arms was all that she could really believe in. It was too late to slam on the brakes. Her heart would ache whether they were together or not.