Chapter 14: Fairy Godmother?
After the disaster that was dinner, Shrek and Braedey began to make their way over to try and talk to Fiona. Braedey was still feeling angry over what King Harold did, but right now, he needs to help out Fiona.
"Fiona? Fiona!" Shrek called until he pushed the doors open with Braedey alongside him.
Braedey then noticed someone was with Fiona inside the room. There was a woman in a blue dress with fairy wings and a wand in hand next to the ogress. "I'm sorry. Are we interrupting something?" Braedey asked. He even took notice of the small puppy in Fiona's hands.
"Oh, uh, Fairy Godmother, furniture..." Fiona said nervously. "I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek."
"Your husband?!" Fairy Godmother replied. "Wait a minute. When did this even happen?!"
"Shrek was the one who rescued me." Fiona pointed out.
"But that can't be right!" Fairy Godmother snapped.
"Well, it did happen, and I was there to confirm it." Braedey stated firmly.
"Oh, great, more relatives." Shrek deadpanned.
"She's just trying to help." Fiona frowned at her husband.
"Good, she can help us pack." Shrek replied. "Get your coat, dear, we're leaving."
"It's only been one day and you already want to leave?" Braedey asked incredulously.
"When did you decide this?" Fiona asked her husband.
"Shortly after arriving." Shrek shrugged back.
Fiona sighed. "We're so sorry..." She said to her fairy godmother.
"No, no, no, that's all right." Fairy Godmother soothed. "I need to go anyway. But remember, deary, if you should ever need me, 'Happiness is just a tear drop away'." She then took out a calling card.
"Okay." Braedey then took the card, taking note of the card.
"Thanks, we got all the happiness we need!" Shrek said sarcastically. "Happy, happy, happy!"
"So I see..." Fairy Godmother flew out of the window and came to a pink flying carriage, which had a handsome young man as the driver. "Let's go, Kyle."
With a crack of the whip, the carriage flew away with a cloud of pink fairy dust in its wake. Braedey scoffed at the pink, waving his wings at the dust, blowing it away.
"Very nice, Shrek." Fiona glared since the ogre had sent her fairy godmother away like that.
"What?" Shrek replied. "I told you coming here was a bad idea!"
"You could at least try to get along with King Harold." Braedey spoke up maturely. "I mean, I did give him a tongue lashing just after that dinner fiasco, and I don't think he had anything else to say after that."
"You know, somehow I don't think I was gonna get 'Daddy's' blessing even if I wanted it." Shrek countered.
"Do you think maybe it might be nice if someone asked me what I wanted?" Fiona spoke up.
"Sure, do you want me to get Braedey to pack for you?" Shrek smiled.
"You are being selfish, Shrek." Braedey crossed his arms.
"You're behaving like a-" Fiona was about to say with a glare, but then stopped herself.
"Go on, say it." Shrek insisted.
"Like an ogre!" Fiona then finished.
"Well, here's a newsflash for you; whether your parents like it or not, I AM AN OGRE!" Shrek glared back.
The poodle puppy began to bark at Shrek. Braedey snarled, and roared loudly and ferociously at the puppy to shut it up. The poodle puppy then shivered and curled up out of fear. The roar even made the two ogres look over at the Nightfury humanoid.
"I cannot believe what I am hearing from the two of you!" Braedey snapped, his dorsal plates pulsing blue with energy. "After your marriage, you had a month-long honeymoon, the two of you getting along and expressing your love for one another. But literally, just after one day here, you're at one another's necks!" He made his way over to the doors out. "Shrek, Fiona made changes for you. Think about it." With that, he walked out the room, slamming the door behind him, leaving both Fiona and Shrek rather stunned.
Braedey sighed to himself, leaning up against the wall, calming himself down, the pulsing in his dorsal plates fading away. Then, he could hear something from upstairs, so he began to make his way along there.
Meanwhile, King Harold was on a ranting rampage regarding what has happened at the dining table, as well as hearing what he just heard from the bedroom balcony, which was up one level above and nearby Shrek and Fiona's room.
Meanwhile, King Harold was on a ranting rampage regarding what has happened at the dining table, as well as hearing what he just heard from the bedroom balcony, which was up one level above and nearby Shrek and Fiona's room.
"I knew this would happen!" The king mumbled to himself.
"You should. You started it." Queen Lillian replied as she was reading a book in bed before going to sleep.
"Me?!" King Harold asked out of shock. "I can hardly believe that, Lillian. He's the ogre, not me!"
"I think, Harold, you're taking this a little too personally." Queen Lillian countered back. "This is Fiona's choice."
"But she was supposed to choose the prince we picked for her." King Harold stated back. "I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this... thing?" He asked.
"Fiona does. And she'll never forgive you if you don't." Queen Lillian replied back simply. "I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold. Oh, you act as if love is totally predictable. Don't you remember when we were young? We used to walk down by the lily pond and... they were in bloom..." Lillian sighed to herself.
"Our first kiss." King Harold agreed, remembering back. Then, he got back on topic. "It's not the same! I don't think you realise that our daughter has married a monster!" He pointed out.
"Oh, stop being such a drama king." Queen Lillian sighed to herself, looking back to her book.
"Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong!" King Harold spoke out sarcastically. "La, di, da, di, da! Isn't it all wonderful! I'd like to know how it could get any worse!"
"Hello, Harold." Fairy Godmother's voice darkly said to the king of Far Far Away. This startled the king as he knew when the Godmother sounded like she wasn't happy.
"What happened?" Queen Lillian asked with a sigh.
"Nothing, dear!" King Harold chuckled. "Just the old... hunting wound playing up a bit!" He stepped out to the balcony. "I'll just stretch it out here for a while." He then closed up the doors leading out the balcony.
"You better get in. We need to talk." Fairy Godmother said to the King, although in a darker tone of voice.
"Actually, Fairy Godmother, I was just off to bed." King Harold said with a small yawn. "Already taken my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy. So, how about..." He got caught by one of the Godmother's two guard. "...we make this a quick visit. What?" He quickly said, now getting into the carriage.
With a crack of the whip, the pink carriage flew away with a trail of pink fairy dust in its wake, heading off to somewhere. Unbeknown to anyone onboard the carriage, Braedey was flying right behind the carriage, his wings carrying him silently across the wind, as he managed to fly up to the carriage, and held onto the underside, listening in to what was happening inside the carriage.
"So, what's new?" Harold nervously asked to the Fairy Godmother.
"You remember my son, Prince Charming." The Godmother gestured to a flowing blonde-haired young man sitting next to her.
"Oh, yes, Charming, uh, how are you?" Harold asked nervously. "Is that you? My goodness! It's been years." Harold smiled nervously. "W-W-When did you get back?" He asked.
"Oh, about five minutes ago actually." Prince Charming replied, sounding insulted. "After I endured blistering winds, scorching deserts, and I climbed the highest room of the tallest-" Harold began to become very nervous by the outburst.
"Oh, shush, shush, Mummy can handle this." Fairy Godmother stopped her son, then took over for him, sounding more deathly and dramatic. "HE ENDURED BLISTERING WINDS AND SCORCHING DESERTS! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower. And what does he find?! Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess is already married!"
'Wow, I can definitely tell where that prince gets his behaviour from.' Braedey thought to himself.
"Erm, it wasn't my fault... He didn't show up in time." King Harold countered.
"STOP THE CAR!" Fairy Godmother then yelled out. This caused the floating carriage to stop mid-air. "Harold... You've forced me to do something I really don't wanna do... " She glared at the king, as she rolled her window down.
"Where are we?" King Harold asked. He then saw they were now at a drive-thru spot.
"Well, hi there!" A woman greeted. "Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy. May I take your order?" She asked.
"My diet is ruined!" Fairy Godmother glared to Harold. "I hope you're happy."
'This is ridiculous.' Braedey thought incredulously, shaking his heads as Fairy Godmother and Prince Charming took their orders. 'After all that ranting, they take a lunch break?'
The carriage then quickly flew off again after the Fairy Godmother was given her food and a toy axe that came with Prince Charming's meal.
"We made a deal, Harold, and I assume you don't want me to go back on my part." Fairy Godmother said to King Harold.
King Harold sighed deeply. "Indeed not."
"So Fiona and Charming will be together..." Godmother then replied.
"Yes." Harold frowned.
"Oh, believe me, Harold, it's what's best." Fairy Godmother said before biting into her dinner. "Not only for your daughter, but for your kingdom."
They soon arrived back at Harold's balcony. Harold was shoved out onto the balcony himself. Unbeknown to them, Braedey had let go from the underside, and he was now listening carefully as to what was going on.
"But what am I supposed to do about it?" King Harold asked, feeling lost and hopeless. Then, Godmother threw the axe into his arms with a smirk.
"Use your imagination." Fairy Godmother stated, then shuts the door and the carriage flew off again into the darkness.
Braedey, who was now hiding underneath narrowed his eyes while the carriage flew away. He couldn't believe that the King was forced to have Charming be the one to go and rescue Fiona, but he had to resist the urge to vomit, for he sounded so smug and obnoxious.
'I should keep an eye out for whatever might happen later on in the future, especially with that Godmother.' Braedey thought to himself, as he made his way along back to his bedroom to rest.
Later on in the evening, King Harold was making his way towards a pool at the end of the Pinocchio River. He was making his way towards a location known as the Poison Apple Inn. The Poison Apple Inn is a bar where villains go to. The sign for The Poison Apple is an apple with the bar name written on it.
With a cloak covering his form, King Harold began to make his way towards the front door. He knocked on the door once he came up to it.
An eye came out from the hatch. It looked down to see King Harold standing there. "Oh." The hatch closed, then the door opened up to show a cyclops man. "Uh, come on in, Your Majesty." He greeted to the king.
King Harold nodded, as he entered the bar. Inside the bar, there was many villains who were drinking, fighting one another. Captain Hook appeared to be playing the piano. A dart flew by as King Harold walked, and there were two living trees who were arm-wrestling. The Headless Horseman let out a noisy belch after he had a drink.
"Uh, excuse me?" Harold spoke up nervously.
"Do I know you?" A female frog with red lipstick and a martini smirked to the king.
"Uh, no, you must be mistaking me for someone else," Harold smiled nervously, before looking to the bartender behind the table. "Uh, excuse me? I'm looking for the ugly step-sister." He asked.
A rather masculine looking woman with eye shadow and lipstick with a mole turned her head and glowered toward him.
"Ah, yes, there you are," Harold laughed nervously. "You see, I need someone to be 'taken care of'."
"Who's the guy?" Doris asked King Harold.
"Well, there is two, to be more precise, and they're not guys persay, one is... An ogre." Harold replied quietly, but somehow, everyone else overheard that, all going silent. "And the other... a Night Fury."
"Night Fury?" Some whispers echoed around the bar. "Those dragons? Nobody deals with those."
"Hey, buddy, lemme clue you in." Doris said to King Harold. "I know one fella who can handle the job, and frankly, he don't like to be disturbed."
"Where could I find him?" Harold asked.
Unbeknown to the King, a large furry figure in a ragged wine red-coloured cape with a golden colored circular-shaped clasp, as well as a black hood to conceal their appearance, was listening to the conversation of what was going on. The blue eyes seemed to show some curiosity but concern in its eyes, and the figure began to make its way out of the bar.
Harold walked over to the back of the bar, where there is a lone room. Harold creaked the door open. "Hello?" He spoke.
The only light shown in the room was from the moon shining through the window. There was a pair of boots up on a table before the King, as a pair of slanted green eyes glowed in the darkness. "Who dares enter my room?" A Spanish accented voice demanded.
"Sorry! I hope I'm not interrupting, but I'm told you're the one to talk to about an ogre and dragon problem?" King Harold asked to the figure.
"You are told correct." The Spanish voice spoke back. "But for this, I charge a great deal of money."
King Harold then got a bag of money from his coat. "Would... this be enough?" He asked.
The boots faded into the darkness, as a sword was suddenly whipped out, King Harold flinching from this, as the sword sliced open the bag, revealing lots of golden coins.
"You have engaged my valuable services, Your Majesty." The Spanish voice spoke calmly to the King, the green eyes looking to King Harold.
"Just tell me where I can find this ogre and dragon."