Castiel woke slowly, refusing to open his eyes just yet. He instead chose to orient himself to the sounds around him. Over the past day and a half he had familiarized himself with the beeps and hisses of the machinery in his room. This time was slightly different. His steady heart rate was usually closely echoed by Dean's, but now the hunter's heart was racing. The former angel listened harder and could pick up the ragged breaths and small shifts of movement next to him.

Blue eyes cracked open and adjusted to the surrounding ambient light. He rolled slowly onto his side, trying not to jostle his stiff wrapped limbs. With his new vantage point, he sought to confirm his suspicion. Dean was mostly still, but his face was clenched, as if in pain, and his fists were tight. The angel frowned, right in his assessment. He had never been clued in to Dean's dreams like this. In previous times, when he found the hunter dreaming, it was always because Dean prayed in his sleep, likely without even knowing he was doing so. This time, he was just a witness. He could no longer lift a finger and stop them.

Frowning, Cas wrestled with the decision before finally deciding to intervene. "Dean." He said, keeping his voice soft. When it didn't work, he cleared his throat and called out again, raising his volume. "Dean."

The hunter started awake, blinking quickly taking a second to orient himself. He took in a deep breath, held it for a moment, before letting it out in a huff. "Cas." He grunted at last, his heart rate starting to slow to a more reasonable pace.

"You were dreaming." Cas said, tilting his head with sympathy.

"Yeah." Dean replied softly.

"I could do nothing to help but wake you."

"Thanks."

Cas fell silent, feeling not for the first time inadequate. Since the fall, he had been witness to too many struggles of the Winchesters that his former self could have corrected handily. He once again felt an immense guilt settle in on his shoulders.

Dean meanwhile scrubbed his hand over his face, blinking a few more times to shake the last tendrils of tiredness. He absently ghosted his hand over his ribs, sore from the rapid breaths from earlier. He looked up, studying the former servant of heaven and frowned. "It's not your fault, you know."

Cas' eyes snapped back to the hunter, widening slightly, surprised his inner thoughts were so easily read. He frowned, focusing his gaze away, finding himself unnerved by meeting eyes with Dean. "I'm not used to being so limited." He said, echoing a sentiment he had talked about numerous times over the past weeks. He shifted his weight, looking pointedly at his limbs. "I cannot even walk right now, and I will not be able to for weeks."

"Yeah, me either."

"My point exactly. In times previously not only would I have healed by now, but I would be able to fuse your bones back together as well." He sighed. "I just feel so incredibly… human."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yeah, welcome to the club."

"Thanks." Castiel replied flatly. "Except I used to belong to a much better club."

It was Dean's turn to snap his gaze back to the former angel, and he frowned, for a second seeing the Cas he met in a bombed out alternate future. It took him a moment to realize Cas was staring back.

"Dean… what's wrong?"

Dean shook his head slightly, pulling himself out of a spiral of thoughts that had no benefit now. "Nothing." He cleared his throat. "Just reminded me of… never mind, It's not important."

Cas kept his gaze steady for a second before letting it soften and look away again. "Alright."

The hunter held his breath, holding an internal debate in his head on whether or not to talk about what was on his mind with Cas. Finally he released the tension that had built in his shoulders and sank down into his bed a bit more. His entire life was built on bottling up whatever thoughts or concerns he had at the moment, and he owed Cas better than that. "Do you remember when Zachariah sent me to the future… to see what could happen if I didn't say yes to Michael?"

Cas furrowed his brow. "The future you changed by reconnecting with Sam?" he confirmed. "I do. Why?"

Dean hesitated, feeling incredibly silly and rethinking sharing. They never spoke much of it. He gave Cas the barest recap at the time. Croatoan virus, Sam as Lucifer's vessel, confirmation the colt existed. Nothing about details, about meeting Cas or even about meeting himself. They were just details he didn't mention, and the angel didn't ask.

"Dean?"

"I found this camp where some of the last survivors were living." Dean started, knowing full well he was taking his sweet time getting to the point. Not that he even knew what the point of talking about this even was. "I was there. Or future me I mean. I… he… whatever, he was in charge of the camp."

"That makes sense." Cas said, still not sure where this was going.

"Sure." Dean said, clearing his throat. "I ah, I met… you were there too."

Cas nodded. "Of course." He tilted his head at Dean's confused look. "Wherever you were during the apocalypse, barring my death, I would follow your lead."

"Yeah." Dean said weakly, recalling Cas following Dean right to his death in the end.

"I don't see-"

"You were human then too." Dean interrupted. "Had been for over a year."

"Oh." Cas said simply. "When the angels left?"

"Yeah."

Cas considered this for a moment. "I guess that means that I am capable."

Dean flicked his eyes up at Cas again. "Yeah." He said, weaker than before. As a barely functioning drug addict willing to throw your life away for some dick-bag version of me.

"Is there more?"

Dean bit his tongue, deciding not to let on to Cas just how poorly his other self had taken to his humanity. He paused before backtracking slightly. "Why were you so sure that you would have been there…"

"I am here now." Cas said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yeah, you're here in the hospital with me, sure. And living at the bunker. Not slogging through an apocalypse with no end in sight that was started by me. Not..."

"Not what Dean?"

It took a moment for Dean to begin speaking again. Cas had expected him to deflect again, and was surprised when he didn't. "Me. The other me. You and a couple others… he sent you in to die as a diversion so he could sneak in and try to cap the devil."

"Oh."

"Oh?" Dean asked incredulously. "Just oh?"

"I'm guessing it was a tactically sound plan."

"Dude, I sent you to your death. And you… you knew. I saw it in your face, you knew."

"Of course I knew. I followed you on a similar mission in this timeline, fully aware it was likely we would all die."

"That's not the point-"

"Dean. I don't know what misplaced guilt you are carrying for the actions of a man you didn't become, but you should do your best to move past it." the former angel said, careful to keep his voice soft.

Dean furrowed his brow, his face hot as he tried to formulate a response. "I just don't know if following me is the best thing for you. Now that you're human, I mean." Cas didn't fall so hard just because the angels left him, that much he knew. He had something to do with it. "You might be better off on your own, I mean."

"Dean-"

The hunter sucked in a breath, letting out a short forced laugh. "Never mind. Sorry Cas… god I hate drugs. Don't have my head on straight." He cleared his throat again. "Dreams have me spinning a bit, that's all."

"Dean." Cas said firmly, in a voice that Dean couldn't ignore. The former angel waited until Dean made eye contact again. "I am where I want to be. I am not leaving."

"You want to be in a hospital?" Dean tried easing the choking tension with a bit of humor. He squirmed under Cas' unfaltering gaze and finally frowned defensively. "Fine. Okay, whatever."

It was Cas' turn to roll his eyes. "Right now, let's focus less on the past."

"Yeah." Dean sighed, feeling utterly drained and more than a little embarrassed at his over-sharing. He let the seconds roll into minutes, determined not to speak again, fearful of entering true chick-flick territory.