Chapter 13

Naruto panted heavily, bending over putting his hands on his knees. He had only dropped Sakura off at the hospital a couple hours ago but Jiraiya was pushing him hard today. Naruto looked over at his sensei and noticed something was off, he seemed on edge. Naruto stood up and stretched his arms over his head walking over to where Jiraiya was leaning against a tree.

"What's up," Naruto asked, raising his eyebrow at his master.

"Not a whole lot just watching you make little progress with your training today," Jiraiya said, waving his hand dismissively.

Naruto furrowed his eyebrows and frowned, "No. There's something you're not telling me and I want to know what." Naruto stared at Jiraiya unwavering. Jiraiya sighed, rubbing his hand over his face.

"Sometimes ignorance is bliss, kid," he looked at Naruto and saw his student wasn't planning on dropping this anytime soon. "Alright, alright. A team leaves today, they're going after Sasuke Uchiha," He looked over and saw Naruto's stunned face. "They will try to bring him back but," Jiraiya trailed off. Naruto nodded his head numbly.

"Who's going," Naruto's voice was flat, void of emotions.

"Shikamaru, Kakashi, Kiba, Neji and Tenten. They'll meet with a team from Suna and go from there." Naruto just frowned, nodding his head. He turned on his heels and started walking back towards the village. Jiraiya didn't even need to ask where he was going, he already knew.

Naruto's mind was swirling. He never gave up on Sasuke, he just had been so prioritized with bringing Sakura back that his friend was put on the back burner. He knew he didn't want to leave Sakura in the village without him but he couldn't risk her coming with and getting hurt. He was torn. He wanted to stay but he wanted to go with and make sure Sasuke came back alive. He still had an unwavering faith in his friend that he could be redeemed in the village's eye. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't realize he was already at the Hokage tower.

His feet were moving on their own accord and he was suddenly outside Tsunade's door knocking twice before walking in. Tsunade's face was pissed when she looked up, then sighed when she saw it was Naruto. She leaned back in her chair and rubbed her temples.

"Naruto, I know what you're going to say and I just can't allow it," Tsunade sighed looking at the determined boy. Naruto walked in shutting the door behind him, he went right up to her desk.

"Tsunade you have to let me go. I can get through to him, I can bring him back alive," Naruto argued, trying to keep his emotions in check.

Tsunade studied him for a moment before leaning forward, folding her arms on the desk. "I don't think Sakura is ready to go on a mission yet, she is in a fragile state. She was doing well but on the wrong step and she could spiral," Tsunade knew that bringing up Sakura's well being would make Naruto back down.

"That's why Sakura will stay behind. I can't handle it if anything happened to her," Naruto sighed, rubbing his hand over his face. "I need to go Tsunade. If it was any other mission I could let it go but I need to do this."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow and looked at him shocked. Jiraiya had told her of his declaration that he wouldn't leave the village without Sakura. Tsunade narrowed her eyes, "What if I do let you go? What would you do if Sasuke killed one of our own or a comrade?"

Naruto sucked in a breath and looked down at his feet. "I would do what needed to be done," he looked at her seriously. " If I'm there, I can stop him. Make him realize he doesn't have to go down this path alone. He is my friend Baa-chan, my best friend."

Tsunade exhaled and threw her head back, "You will be the one to tell Sakura. I don't really know how she will react to Naruto. She depends on you, she gets a bit more independent everyday but I hope you thought this through. If something happens to you and you don't come back Sakura will be gone forever."

Naruto nodded his head. He hadn't thought of that possibility, but would Sasuke really kill him? He was unsure, but it was a risk he was willing to take if it meant saving his friend. He shook his head looking at Tsunade with new fire in his eyes, "I will come back to her. I need to do this Tsunade." Tsunade nodded and watched Naruto turn to leave. She watched him sadly before reaching for her bottle of Sake.

Sakura had no clue where Naruto was. He wasn't at the training grounds or the apartment. Her stomach grumbled lightly reminding her that she should eat something soon. It dawned on her that probably at the ramen stand, she smiled to herself before making her way through the crowded streets. She rounded the corner and could see a couple of her old friends by Ino's father's flower shop. She took a deep breath planting a phony smile on her face. Ino, Choji and Sai were all laughing when they noticed Sakura. She waved half heartedly, the smile not quite reaching her eyes.

Ino was stunned for a second before smiling warmly and calling out, "Hey Sakura." Sakura walked a little closer but Ino noticed she stopped several feet away looking at them all warily. "How you doing forehead," Ino asked. Choji elbowed looking at her disapprovingly. Ino shrugged lightly.

"I'm doing alright," Sakura chuckled. The three seemed to relax a bit. Ino opened her mouth to say something else but Sakura cut her off. "I'm actually looking for Naruto. So I'll see you guys around," she offered lamely, giving another small wave.

"Oh well he at Ichiraku's stand with Hinata," Sai offered. Ino stomped on his foot and glared at him. Sakura froze. She started to feel her breathing pick up and she felt her hands beginning to tremble. Naruto and Hinata together reminded her of her time in the cave. The pain that they would inflict on her while in Hinata's body, the smile on Naruto's face. She shut her eyes and tried to calm herself.

Ino saw that Sakura was struggling to breath and she staggered a little bit. She stepped forward reaching out for her, "Sakura are you okay?" Sakura's eyes shot open and she leaped back, distancing herself from Ino. "Hey it's okay," Ino said softly while holding her hands in the air.

"I'm sorry," Sakura gasped, shaking her head. "I just was thinking about something, I should really get going," Sakura sighed walking away from them quickly. Sakura was debating on going to find Naruto at all now, she didn't think she could handle seeing them together or Hinata at all yet. Over the course of her six months home she had yet to see Hinata once and she was thankful for that. She didn't not like her, she was a sweet person, she just was reminding of her days in the dark and she couldn't let her mind go back there.

She was growing closer to the ramen stand and her anxiety was through the roof. She was determined to just get passed unnoticed. She was just about to be in the clear when she heard her name. She slowed her walk and listened in on their conversation, her curiosity getting the better of her. .

"You and Sakura look really happy," she heard Hinata sigh. "You guys have this ease about you."

She heard Naruto sigh, "I'm sorry Hinata-chan. I wish thing were different, but Sakura needs me and I just-"

"You don't need to explain Naruto-kun. I will always hold a spot in my heart for you. Sometimes things just don't work out the way you hope they would," Hinata's voice sounded sad. Sakura felt like she was invading something she wasn't meant to be a part of. She heard them shift to standing position and quickly ducked in a nearby ally.

She pressed her back against the wall and tried to keep herself calm. She peeked her head out and saw them hugging. He pulled away kissing the top of her head gently. She felt her heart clench and she pulled her head back smacking it against the wall. "I hope you find the love you deserve," she heard Naruto say sweetly. She squeezed her eyes closed and waited for a few minutes before peeking back out. She saw they were both gone. She exhaled deeply and felt her legs shaking. She sunk down to the ground and put her head in between her knees.

She was a horrible person. It was clear these two cared for each other and she was just standing in the way. She felt tears cloud her eyes. She had been naive to think Naruto just loved her again, it was nothing but the guilt he had for her capture. She wiped her tears and stood up on her shaky legs and forced herself to walk. Each step she felt her legs were weighed down with bricks. She didn't know what to do or where to go. She sighed as she made her way to the apartment. She walked in and looked at the clock. Naruto would probably be heading to the hospital soon to pick her up. She walked upstairs and to the bathroom.

She slowly stripped off her clothes and looked at herself in the mirror. She had small scars all over her shoulders and chest. They had faded but they were still there just like the pain. Sometimes she would get a burning feeling where one of her scars was, like a little reminder that she would never be the same. She looked into the mirror and frowned, tracing her scars. Her body was never anything to brag about but now her once smooth skin was marred. She couldn't see how anyone could ever find her attractive or desirable. She had deluded herself all this time. Naruto had seen the real her before her outside appearance was altered, he was smart to distance himself from her all that time ago. She was ugly, it was as simple as that. If she was a good person she would have let him go a long time ago but instead she clung to him.

She gripped the sink looking down at her hands. She knew what it was time to do; she just didn't want to do it. She had been selfish for far too long. Naruto deserved the love he wished Hinata would find, they could give that to each other. Sakura looked back up in the mirror and couldn't stand to see herself anymore. She yelled and punched the mirror sending glass all over. She took a few more ragged breaths, she turned and shut the bathroom door before going kneeling down to pick some of the shards of glass. She went to pick up one off the bigger piece and felt it dig into her hand. She opened her hand and found a deep gash. She dropped the piece of glass and sat there for a few moments just looking at her bleeding hand. Her knuckles on her other hand were bloody as well but she couldn't feel any pain.

She sighed deeply before healing herself and slowly standing. She walked over to the shower and turned on the water. She could feel glass stuck in her foot and she leaned against the wall taking out the few pieces throwing them back to the ground. She opened the shower door stepping into the water. She leaned against the cold tile and sunk down to the shower floor and sat there watching the red mix with the water swirling down the drain.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there. The water grew colder as time passed and she was now shivering at the ice cold water crashing over her head. She leaned her head back and let the water hit her face. She heard the door bang open downstairs and she froze, she heard her name being called but couldn't quite make out the voice. She heard loud footsteps on the stairs and could instantly tell it was Naruto.

Naruto hurried his way through the packed streets and made his way to the hospital. He had one hell of a day and his mind was going a mind a minute. He just wanted to see Sakura. With the news of the mission to go after Sasuke and Hinata cornering him asking if he wanted to go to lunch he just wanted to be with his girl. He reluctantly agreed to go and get ramen. He owed her at least that, he treated her unfairly when he found out Sakura was gone. She deserved an explanation.

It was a nice conversation, she talked mostly which surprised Naruto. She didn't even stutter once, she was calm and sure of herself. He apologized for the way he handled things. He let her know how sorry he was that he couldn't return the feelings she had for him. She let him know that she forgave him and had come to peace with it all and was moving on, which made Naruto happy to hear. Naruto really did care for her, he just wasn't in love with her. He tried to force it and it wasn't fair to either of them. Maybe if he didn't find Sakura crying on the playground when they were children things would have been different. He fell in love with her then and he was never going to fall out. He hugged her goodbye and kissed the top of her head in a brotherly way before wishing her all the best.

He neared the hospital and couldn't help the guilt that crept up his chest. Today was supposed to be her sixth full month at home and he was going to have to tell her he was leaving to go after Sasuke. He hoped she would understand. He walked up the steps and saw shizune walking out talking to Shikamaru.

"Oh Naruto, what are you doing here," Shizune asked when she looked up and saw him about to enter the hospital.

"Here to pick up Sakura-chan? Is she not finished yet," he asked turning around.

"No she actually left a while ago, she might have gone to Tsunade's to wait," Shizune offered, smiling lightly.

Naruto was about to thank her when Shikamaru chimed in, "I actually saw her not that long ago she was heading to your apartment I believe."

"By herself," Naruto asked in disbelief. Shikamaru nodded his head and with that Naruto was off running down the road. He ran quickly dodging everyone until he rounded the corner that his apartment was on. He threw open the door calling her name. He didn't get any response. He looked in the kitchen and living room and didn't see her anywhere.

He ran up the stairs and saw the bathroom door was shut. He walked over and could hear the shower running. "Sakura-chan," he called out. He didn't get any response so he quickly opened the door. He saw her huddled form through the blurry shower door and he walked in a bit further and felt crunching under his feet. He looked down and saw bloody glass all over the floor. He looked over and saw a small dent in this medicine cabinet where the mirror used to be. "Sakura-chan what happened," he asked shocked. "Why didn't you wait for me or go to Baa-chan's?" Sakura didn't answer or acknowledge his presence. "Sakura-chan," he asked again, stepping further in so he was standing right next to the shower door.

"Leave me alone," her voice sounded small and fragile.

"Sak-"

"I said leave me alone," Sakura's voice rang out coldly. Naruto didn't know what to say she hadn't pushed him away since that first night at the hospital. Sakura sighed shakily, "I'm fine. Please I just need a minute."

Naruto nodded even though she couldn't see him and left the room to go down stairs and grab a dustpan. He went back into the bathroom and quietly swept up the glass throwing into the small garbage can. He looked over and saw Sakura was now standing in the shower. He left and went to sit out on the bed until she was done. He heard the water turn off a few minutes later and could hear the shower door slide open. She walked out wrapped in a white towel several minutes later. Naruto's eyes were immediately analyzing her trying to see if she was okay but she refused to look in his direction.

She walked over to the wardrobe grabbing some clothes before walking back to the bathroom. Naruto raised his eyebrow confused she never got dressed in the bathroom he would always just avert his eyes until she was done. Before walking back in the bathroom she turned around but her eyes were casted down at the floor. "Sorry about the mirror," she apologized softly before shutting the door.

Naruto stood up and started pacing something was wrong and she wasn't letting him in on what. His mind was racing, had a villager said something to her, did she hear about the mission to get Sasuke. He was still pacing when she came back out of the bathroom. He stopped and looked over at her, she looked run down. Maybe she just had a rough day at the hospital. Naruto was at a loss for words he didn't want to risk asking her what was wrong again and having her completely shut him out.

"You eat anything yet today," he asked quietly. She shook her head and he frowned. He didn't like her skipping meals. "Okay then we should get started on dinner and get you something to eat," Naruto tried to say cheerfully. Sakura nodded in response and quickly walked past him heading down the stairs. Naruto let out a frustrated sigh before following behind her.

Naruto prepared their meal in silence as Sakura busied herself reading some scrolls Tsunade had given her. They had been training on the days she wasn't with Kakashi and she was amazing. Her chakra control was astonishing and her chakra seemed unlimited she could go for hours without break. Naruto knew that one day soon she would pass Tsunade herself.

He grabbed a couple glasses and set them on the table. Sakura set her scroll to the side and moved over to the fridge to grab some tea. She filled both their glasses and Naruto sat their plates down on the table. Sakura went to move past him but he grabbed her upper arm spinning her around to look at him.

"Sakura-chan.. What's going on? You left the hospital by yourself today and now you're acting distant," Naruto sighed tracing this thumb down her cheek.

"I can walk on my own," was all she offered, her eyes trained on his chest. "Nothing happened. I just thought it would be nice to walk on my own." She spun around and walked over to have a seat at the table. Naruto sat down as well studying her profile. He had no idea how to bring up him leaving on a mission now. He was wondering if he even should go at all, she clearly needed him here. As much as he wanted to go after Sasuke, Sakura came before everyone.

He watched her bring a dumpling to her mouth, chewing on it slowly while she pushed her veggies around her plate with her chopsticks. "You know you can tell me anything right," Naruto said sincerely, grabbing her hand. Sakura looked at their connected hands before finally looking him in the eyes.

"I could say the same thing to you," she said cooly.

Naruto looked at her a bit shocked he should have known Sakura would find out about the mission. He sighed squeezing her hand a bit, "You're right. I should have discussed it with you first but I need to go to Sakura-chan. I need to make sure they don't kill Sasuke."

"What," Sakura asked confused. "You're going after Sasuke," her voice raised a bit with panic. Naruto looked a bit confused before nodding slowly. Sakura shook her head, ripping her hand away. "No," she spat out.

"No? Sakura-chan he's our teammate and friend. He deserves to come home too," Naruto tried to say calmly.

"No. They can do it, you're not going," Sakura insisted, standing up from her seat abruptly and sending the chair back to the floor.

"Sakura-chan," Naruto sighed in frustration. "I'm going. I've already decided he is my best friend and I can't turn my back on him."

"What like he turned his back on you? The village? He isn't the same person he once was," She laughed bitterly.

"And you're the same," Naruto bit back defensively. Sakura stared at him like a deer in headlights. "Sakura-chan look, you'll be okay here. I'll be back before you know it and everything will be okay, you'll see," Naruto sighed putting his head in his hands.

She laughed again, "You think I'm worried about you not being here?"

"No offense Sakura-chan but you fall apart when I'm not around. Take today for example! I can't always be there as much as you need me to be," he let out another frustrated sigh.

"'I need you.' is that really what you think," Sakura asked incredulously.

"Yes! You need me around or you crumple to pieces, its fucking exhausted being needed all the time by everyone," Naruto felt his temper getting away from him.

Sakura looked at him for a moment, her mouth slightly open. She walked towards the kitchen door. Naruto felt sick to his stomach. He didn't mean any of it the way it came out. He was just frustrated and his anger got the better of him. He stood up from his seat and was about to call her name when she whipped back around.

"I don't need you. I. DON'T. FUCKING. NEED. YOU," Sakura yelled at him with tears pooling in her eyes. Naruto took a step towards her and Sakura took two steps back. "Get out," She whispered.

Naruto looked stunned for a moment . "I mean this is my apartment," He laughed awkwardly. Sakura opened her mouth and closed it quickly before spinning and stomping up the stairs. Naruto sighed, sinking back into his seat. He had been looking forward to tonight all week. He planned on making her favorite dinner, he was going to give her this necklace he had been saving up for and ask her to be his girlfriend before heading out for his mission. Now she probably wouldn't even say a word to him.

He looked over at the clock he had to meet the team at the gate in 30 minutes. There was no way he could smooth things over and give her her gift before then. He sighed and looked over at Sakura's plate, she barely touched her food. He frowned before pushing himself up from the table. He emptied both their plates in the trash when he heard Sakura's footsteps coming back down the stairs. He wasn't expecting her to come back down. He turned to face her and saw she had a bag. She didn't even look in his direction; she just kept walking towards the front door.

"Sakura-chan what are you doing?"

"Leaving. This is your apartment," she said coldly. Naruto put the empty plates on the table and ran after her.

She was slipping her boots on when Naruto grabbed her arm. "You know I didn't mean it like that Sakura-chan. Where are you going," he pleaded.

"I don't see how that's your concern, but to see Tsunade about that apartment. You leave soon anyway right," Sakura asked, yanking her arm away. She picked up her bag and went to open the door. Naruto's arm shot out slamming the door closed.

"Sakura-chan please don't do this," she heard him beg. She turned around and could see the chaos of emotions in his eyes.

"You may be right. I do need you. I refuse to just sit around while you get yourself killed. You think that Sasuke and you have some connection," She laughed bitterly. "The reality is in that moment where you need to take him out, you'll hesitate because that's just the kind of person you are," she reached out and caressed his cheek. He leaned into her hand grabbing it tightly with his own. "In that moment, just that split second Sasuke will not hesitate and he will kill you," Sakura said evenly before pulling her hand away. She quickly opened the door.

"I won't go, Sakura-chan. Please don't leave," he tried pleading with her some more.

"You already made the decision for us," she whispered tears falling down her cheeks. She spun around and walked out the door slamming it shut behind her.