Note: this chapter is a lot longer than the others. I know we don't really know much about Jack and Leons past from between he saved her in Afghanistan and arrives in DC. I wanted to play with that in this chapter. Please let me know what you think of it.
Unknown place
Jack wakes up in an unfamiliar bed and when she looks down at herself, she recognizes that she is wearing army clothing – an army-green tank top and camouflage tactical pants. She looks around the room. It seems like a small bedroom decorated in a 70's style. It briefly reminds her of her grandparent's house in style, but the smell reminds her of someone else, but for the moment, she can't remember who.
"Johnny…" Jack says, shocked and sits up in the bed, when Johnny, who now seems a lot older and more mature than he did back when they served together, walks into the room.
"Good morning, Lieutenant."
"Johnny, what are you doing? Where are we?"
"don't worry, honey. We are fine. Breakfast is almost ready." He says lovingly before he walks into an adjoining room. Jack gets out of bed and looks out the window. It seems like they are in some sort of a farmhouse. Jack walks into the adjoining room where Johnny is seated at a nicely set breakfast table.
"have a cup of coffee." He offers and pours a cup of coffee for her. "you use sugar in your coffee, right?" he asks with a loving smile and moves the bowl of sugar over to where he placed the cup for her. She hesitantly nods and takes a seat at the table.
"did you sleep well?" he asks after ha has taken a sip of his coffee.
"Yeah, I think so," Jack says, hesitant, and looks around in the room. It seems to be a living room from the '70s. Once again, the interior design reminds her of her grandparents' house in San Diego.
"It is my mother's house." Johnny says. "or it was." He adds with sadness in his voice.
"what do you mean it was?" Jack asks, pretending like she doesn't know that his mother has passed away.
"My mother passed away. I'm sorry I lied to you yesterday. I just didn't want to get all emotional on our date. I saw how that waiter was checking you out."
"come on? He is so not my type." Jack says, pretending like she remembers the waiter. Her memory of last night is fuzzy. She only remembers small bits of their conversation.
"Nah, I know what your type is," Johnny says, almost sounding jealous.
"what do you mean?" Jack asks, confused.
"the handsy guy who always was in your room when you came back from Afghanistan." Jack looks confused. She didn't have a boyfriend when she got deployed to Afghanistan the second time, and Jack sure didn't have one when she came back. When Jack is honest with herself, she hasn't had a long-term relationship since she came back from Afghanistan. Jack is trying really hard to remember who it could be Johnny is referring to. The only people she remembers came to visit her was her family. Her parents, her grandparents, her brother, and a few people form the Army. She didn't really feel like people seeing her so weak and hospitalized. Jack looks over at Johnny. He is just looking at her with a look she remembers she has only seen once before. When Johnny was holding the fork in Afghanistan's mess hall while Johnny was starring at Jeremy Dunkin. His eyes are so filled with anger, hatred, and he almost looks dead in his eyes. Jack doesn't remember Jeremy Dunkin or any other guy she served with n Afghanistan ever visiting her at the hospital. She can't think of who the "handsy" guy Johnny is talking about could be. Johnny gets up and walks to the stow when some sort of clock goes off. Jack jumps when the clock goes off, and it makes Johnny chuckle.
"don't worry, honey. I made eggs." He says with a soft smile and places a loving hand on hers as he stands up. It gives Jack a nauseating feeling, but she tries her best not to flinch or show how uncomfortable she is with his behavior. Jack looks out the window where the sun is starting to rise. The sunlight is hitting her in the face, just like the sun did when she would spend hours in the hospital just staring out the window. Jack begins to remember when she was in the hospital after Leon had brought her back to the US.
Hospital in San Diego 2003
Jack was brought back from Afghanistan about a week ago by NCIS Special agent Leon Vance and a marines unit. She had been met by her parents and her brother at the military airport when the plane landed. Her parents had been crying. It was the first time she remembers ever seeing her father crying. Her brother was crying, and Jack did too. Even though she was trying to play it cool with her brother, it didn't work. Her brother had tried to play it cool by saying something like, "oh, now the peace and quiet is over." Still, his attempt to insult her, as he would always say to her when she came home on breaks from the Army, completely drowned in his tears. It ended up being more ridiculous, and both Jack and her brother had laughed at his comment while tears were falling down both their faces, and they hugged each other. The first thing Jack saw when she stepped out of the plane was her mom's red and wet face, and immediately Jack started crying. It seemed like her mom had been crying since the moment she went missing.
After the reunion with her family, she was transported to a hospital. She already had enough of doctors after every inch of her inside and outside, or at least it felt that way, had been checked at the field hospital at the base. They kept asking her questions, and she had to answer a million questions. The only thing she wanted to tell everyone concerned about her was to go and get her unit members. So, they could be brought home to their families as they deserved. The only one who seemed to be willing to listen to her concern for her unit members was this NCIS agent Vance. he had even told her she could call him by first name, Leon. Agent Vance had given her his blanket on the transport plane back to the US when she was getting cold with only her own blanket. After 9 months of sleeping in a cave with no blanket or pillow, it was a very unfamiliar feeling of a blanket.
Now Jack was hospitalized. She had stayed in this very bright white and clean hospital room for a week now. Her mom and dad had refused to leave her side for the first 2 days. They would stay with her at night. The first night she couldn't sleep. Jack would just cry and be terrified. She wasn't sure what she was afraid of, but Jack felt so scared that it would start all over again if she closed her eyes. Jack couldn't get used to the bed's soft feeling after sleeping on the ground for 9 months. Jack would mostly sit in the corner on the floor. Her mom would sit down next to her and whisper how much she loved her.
Her parents went home after 3 days to fix some things for a couple of hours, and Jack had a meeting with a psychiatrist from the Army. When Jack had stepped out from her appointment with the psychiatrist, she was meet by NCIS Special Agent Vance.
"hallo, Lieutenant. How are you?" he asks with a smile. Now he was wearing a black suit and tie—a big contrast to the tactical uniform he was wearing in Afghanistan.
"are you going to a meeting with the president?" Jack had asked a little harshly and walked by him. she wasn't really in the mood for company right now.
"no. I was in the office. Thought I would stop by and see how you are doing."
"I'm fine," Jack says and walks back into her room. She is wearing grey sweatpants and an army t-shirt and bare feet. Jack can't really adjust to wearing shoes because her feet still hurt from the torture. She walks back into her room.
"wow." He says when he steps into her room and sees all of the flowers, chocolate gift boxes, and other stuff people have sent her.
"Yeah. Do you want some chocolate? I think I have eaten enough chocolate for the next 3 years." Jack says and sits down on her bed.
"well, I remember you mentioned in Afghanistan that you miss soft chocolate chip cookies. My wife made you some," Leon says with a soft smile and hands her a small box he has been holding. Jack smiles softly at him.
"thank you." she now feels guilty about being rude to him in the hallway.
"are you adjusting?" Leon asks casually. He is the only person who hasn't asked her how she is doing or How she is feeling all the time.
"no," she says and takes a bite of a cookie. "I still wait for the monster to walk through the door, and at night when I close my eyes, I feel like I will wake up in that hell hole again. Like I did every time I passed out from the pain of the torture." Jack takes another bite of her cookie and takes a moment to enjoy it. She didn't realize how much she missed these types of cookies. Jack probably mentioned it briefly in Afghanistan when someone asked her what she would like to eat. Jack is surprised that Agent Vance remembers.
"I know it sounds strange, but… the sun… is actually the most comforting thing here," Jack says and stands up and walks over to the window. She looks outthought the window at the afternoon sun coming in and hitting her in the face. The sun here in California feels different than down there. Doing captivity, the sunrise and sunsets were the only way she could tell how many days she spent in captivity in Afghanistan. In Afghanistan, the "cell" she was held in only had a small window near the ceiling, so she couldn't see the streets or people but only the sun rays coming in. At night she would find some sort of comfort looking up at the moon and thinking that maybe her mom was looking at the moon too and thinking about her. When Jack was a little girl and scared of the darkness, her mom would tell her that the moon is like a lamp that never goes out. Her mom had said to her that if she ever woke up and was scared, she could always look up at the moon and find the light. Little Jack had asked her mom what to do if she looks up and couldn't see the moon. Her mom had told her that the moon was always there. Maybe it was just hiding behind a cloud, so she would just have to look a little more for it, but it would still be there. Her mom had always said to her as a way of saying good night, "no matter where you find yourself in the world, if you are scared, just look up at the moon and remember it will always light the way back to me." Jack has been so lost in her thoughts. She hasn't even noticed Leon is standing next to her. She looks over at him for a moment.
"how am I going to get my life back after this?" she asks with tears in her eyes while looking into his dark brown eyes.
"you have a lot of people who love you and who is going to help you, every step of the way."
"look at me. I look like a freak show." She starts crying again when she looks over his shoulder and into the mirror behind him. She hasn't gotten used to all the bruises and scars on her face. Some of them are slowly healing, but the ones on her hands and arms are still wide open. She also knows the once on her back will probably never go away completely.
"come here." He says and takes her into a hug. She leans into his chest and just let herself cry. She hasn't known this guy for more than a week, but she feels very comfortable around him and safe. She hasn't felt so safe since the moment he kneels down in front of her and says, "you are safe now." When he saw the American flag on the shoulder of his uniform, it was like she could relax for the first time in 9 months. She feels that this guy will have a very special influence on her life forever. She owes this guy everything but right now, she just needs a hug. Leon is gently rubbing his hand over her scared back. The wounds are still open, and some are severely infected.
They break the hug when a nurse comes into the room. She politely knocks on the door.
"Jacqueline…"
"it's Jack, please," Jack says and wipes a tear away from her bruised face.
"sorry. Jack. It is time for me to put the cream on your back." the nurse says.
"Yeah," Jack says and steps away from Leon and begins to take off her t-shirt. Leon immediately turns his back to her as a gentleman not to look at her.
"It is okay, Leon." Jack chuckles. "don't do you have a daughter and a wife?"
"yes," Leon says while looking down at the floor and stands with his back to her.
"so, I guess you have seen a girl in a sports bra before." Jack chuckles.
"my daughter Kayla is 2 years old," Leon says.
"well, she will need to wear a bra in about 8 years. You can turn around."
Leon hesitantly turns around but continues to look down on the ground.
"Jack, could you remove your hair a little bit." The nurse asks.
"I already have," Jack answers almost as an annoyed little kid. With just the tip of his index finger, Leon steps over and removes the strain of hair in the way of the nurse's work, but the touch of his finger makes her flinch. The flinch makes Leon step away immediately and apologize to Jack.
"It is okay." Jack quickly says. "it is just me. I am still not quite used to other people touching me. Yesterday when my mom moved a strain of hair from my face like she has done since I was 4 years old, I flinched."
"It is natural," Leon says reassuringly.
"natural?" Jack asks a little harshly. "there is nothing natural about me, and this and everything that has happened over the past 9 months." Jack says, and tears start falling down her face again.
"I know. I didn't mean it like that, Jack." Leon says and takes her hand.
"could you please wait outside, sir?" The nurse suddenly says. Jack and Leon look up at her to see who she is talking to. She is looking at the door, and they follow her eyes to the door. In the door is a young man standing.
"Who are you?" Leon asks and starts to walk towards the door. The man is wearing a black hoodie with the hood over his head. He is also holding a bouquet of flowers. The moment Leon starts walking towards the door, the man walks away.
"did you recognize him?" Leon asks once he comes back. Leon followed the man to the elevator to try and see who it was.
"no. Jack says. "I barely recognize my own mirror image," Jack says.
"it is not uncommented for you not to remember people you haven't seen for over a year and especially after a traumatic event." The nurse explains. "I'm sure your boyfriend doesn't take it personally." She adds.
"my boyfriend?" Jack asks and looks confused at the nurse.
"yes. Your boyfriend. The man who was just here. He has been here at least 4 times. He usually just stands outside the room and looks at you. he is usually only here when you sleep and leaves before you wake up. he always brings you flowers or a teddy bear." The nurse explains.
"I don't have a boyfriend," Jack says, confused and looks terrified over at Leon.
Leon walks out of the room with a very determined look. "he always mumbles to himself as if he is talking to you." the nurse explains and continues her treatment of Jack's scared back.
"what does he say?" Jack asks. she is trying hard to recognize the guy, but for some reason, it feels like her brain is blocking any possible memory of who it could be.
"he says he loves you, he mumbles something about a date that you are going to go on, and how you are going to do all of the things you have talked about together." the nurse explains.
"I don't know who he is, or I don't remember. I am pretty sure I don't have a boyfriend."
Leon comes back into the room. "he signed in as Forest Gump." Leon explains.
"are you serious?" Jack asks and can't help but laugh. "as in the Tom Hanks movie?" she asks. Leon nods and shows her the board with the visitor's log.
"you are sure you are not dating Forest Gump?" the nurse asks with a smile.
"yeah, I am fairly certain." Jack laughs.
Present time
"It was you," Jack says and looks over at Johnny, who is still standing at the stove. He looks bewildered at her. "it was you who brought me flowers at the hospital and who signed in as Forest Gump."
Johnny smiles a little shyly. "yeah." He admits with a boyish shyness as if he was a high school boy who has just spoken to the pretty girl for the first time.
"But why?" Jack asks, confused. "why did you run away and only come when I was asleep?"
"that guy." Johnny says with anger. "he was always there." the way he is looking at Jack when he speaks about Leon scares Jack. It is like his eyes are so filled with anger.
"he is my friend. We work together now. He was the guy who rescued me in Afghanistan after the Army give up the search."
"I never did." Johnny quickly says with a cold, emotionless voice. He takes a seat next to her and places the pot with the boiled eggs on the table. Johnny then reaches over and takes her hand in his. Jack mostly wants to take her hand away, but he is holding on to her hand, so tight her fingers turn white.
"We can finally do all of the things we planned to do. We can finally have the future we want." Johnny says with a loving smile. It is like he suddenly has forgotten about Leon or didn't hear what she just said about that Leon saved her and that she now works with him. Jack decides to take a different approach to the situation.
"We could." Jack says coldly. "we could have done that 13 years ago if you hadn't left me." Jack says accusingly and receives a shocking look from Johnny.
"you came to visit me at the hospital, but you left without a word and never came back. you abandoned me when I needed you the most." Jack says and feels her eyes begin to tear up.
"no. no, no, I didn't." Johnny says, almost sounding like a 7-year-old kid being accused of not eating his vegetables. "that wasn't you in the hospital." Johnny gets up and begins to walk frustrated around in the room.
"That was me." Jack yells, angry, and stands up. "that was the real me. I was broken. I had been tortured for 9 months, and I needed my friends and family, and you just abandoned me." Jack is shocked when Johnny suddenly slaps her hard in the face, and it makes her lose her balance, so she hits her face on the table, and blood starts floating from the new headwound. Jack just looks up at him with shock but also with anger.
"I'm sorry, Jack." He says and kneels next to her. He sounds regrettable as he is trying to put his hands on her face to get her to look at him so he can examine the wound.
"don't touch me," she says, angry, and slaps his hands away.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that." He sounds like a sad little kid who apologizes for spilling on his shirt. Jack is angry at him but also can't help but feel a bit sorry for the guy. She now remembers how she used to think he was sweet but way too immature for her likes. She also remembers how she was concerned about him and how she thought there was always a side to him that terrified her.