Chapter 13

"This is happiness, hm?" Draco said softly, and Neville looked up from his book to see Draco coming into the bedroom. He hadn't heard the front door and hadn't realised it was nearly midnight.

"Feeling philosophical, love?" Neville asked with a smile, laying his book aside.

"Very," Draco said, shucking out of his shirt and joining Neville on the bed. He leant over and wrapped his arms around Neville's neck and insinuated himself into his lap.

"Good day?" Neville asked, settling his hands on Draco's back and holding him gently.

"Brilliant day."

Neville hadn't seen the man since they had parted after breakfast. He had gone to work his shift in the shop then had gone straight to Harry's where he'd been helping to look after Teddy and Yvie. It was the summer holidays and Teddy needed occupying, which Draco did with joy, and he helped to look after the baby while Harry caught up on some much-needed sleep.

Afterwards he'd gone straight to his shift in the pub and was now only just arriving home. His days were busy and when he had a moment of inactivity he had his nose crammed in one of his psychology textbooks, trying to get a head start on the course before he began in September.

"Is Harry ok?" Neville asked, smiling at how bright Draco's eyes were.

"He's fine. Stubborn bloody git, as usual, George and I keep having to stop him from lifting things and doing too much but he only listens to us half the time."

"And how's our goddaughter?" Neville asked, laughing at Draco's dreamy expression.

"She's so beautiful, I can't stop looking at her. I can't believe it's been two weeks since she was born. She's keeping Harry and George up all night so George is determined to get her into a sleep schedule."

"Which I'm sure you ruin by waking her up every five minutes for a cuddle."

Draco grinned and nuzzled Neville's jaw. "I can't help myself, she's adorable. Teddy's smitten too, he's so protective of her and he's got this special voice he uses when he speaks to her. Harry and George as so great; they're going out of their way to make him feel involved and special."

"I'm sure he does. I'm surprised you've deigned to come home to me tonight."

"I was missing you too much," Draco said, snuggling in close. He re-arranged himself to tuck himself into Neville' side, shifting under the bedcovers and wrapping himself around Neville's torso. "Oh I heard from Anita," he said with a yawn. "She's got me an appointment with a magical cosmetologist. Soon this faded outline will be gone completely."

"That's fantastic news," Neville said, stroking the man's hair.

"It is," Draco said sleepily, in a way that Neville found utterly adorable.

"Go to sleep," he said affectionately. "I'll just finish this chapter."

"Mm, ok," Draco muttered as Neville retrieved his book.

He smiled contentedly as he felt Draco's breathing even out, cuddled against him as he drifted off. He cherished these moments and he'd never known the kind of contentment that he felt when Draco was in his arms.

It had been a couple of weeks since they'd first made love and they'd slept together once or twice since but neither was in any rush to leap into bed at any given moment. Sex between them was special, an affirmation of the closeness they shared, and Neville had no desire to change that for the sake of a few quickies.

They had spent a long time building up intimacy and trust, and those were the important things. Neville wanted to do everything he could to maintain and strengthen them and moments like this, with Draco nestled against him, were worth more to him than anything. He'd never had a wildly active sex drive and Draco was still forging a relationship with sex; things were good between them and sex was simply a nice occasional bonus.

The following day they had breakfast in bed, Draco making his fabulous eggs benedict and spoiling them with expensive coffee that Annie ordered specifically for him. Neville wanted to capture the moment forever, to put it in a pensieve and remember just how happy he was, sitting in bed with the man he loved and basking in contentment.

They took their time and read through the newspapers together then eventually Neville stretched and said, "I'm going to hop in the shower then we can be on our way."

Draco gave him one of his endearingly shy smiles and said, "Can I join you?"

"No need to ask," Neville said with a smile. He held out his hand and led Draco to the bathroom, both of them stripping off as the water warmed up. They stepped beneath it and laughed their way through washing one another, kissing beneath the spray and letting their hands make gentle explorations of each other's bodies.

It wasn't about sex, it was about closeness, and Neville kissed Draco's neck as he held him to his chest, his hands trailing up and down the man's sides. "The hot water will run out at this rate," he murmured against Draco's skin as Draco pressed back into him.

"That's what magic's for, love," Draco returned, his eyes closed as he enjoyed Neville's attentions.

"You're a terrible influence."

"You love me."

"Yes I do," Neville replied, giddy with happiness. He'd often wondered what a real relationship would feel like, if he could ever have what Harry and George had, and now it was in his hands he was determined to never let it go.

They stayed far longer than Neville's water bill would thank him for, touching and kissing, skin against skin. They finally made it out and Neville watched as Draco dried his hair and tied it half up. God but that did things to him and he gazed soppily at the man.

"Stop it," Draco said with a smile, buttoning up his shirt.

"Can't. You're just too bloody gorgeous."

"Sweet talker. Come on, we'll be late."

They arrived at St Mungo's and walked hand-in-hand to Alice's room, where they found her sitting at the table, brushing her hair. "Good morning, Alice," Draco said brightly, kissing her cheek.

"Hi Mum," Neville said, mimicking the action. "I brought your favourite visitor."

Alice patted both their hands with a bright smile as Neville took a seat while Draco took the hairbrush. "What will it be today then?" he asked. "I was thinking something 40s, like a film noir film star."

Neville smiled as he watched Draco set about doing Alice's hair, chatting to her with ease. Neville chimed in occasionally, feeling so much more comfortable with these visits now that Draco accompanied him. It was yet another thing he had to be grateful for.

"You should see Yvie, she's the most beautiful baby you've ever seen," Draco said, sectioning off Alice's hair. "I can't really tell who she looks like yet but she has Harry's eyes and George's colouring."

Draco was possibly the proudest godfather to have ever existed. He spoke about Yvie roughly 100 times a day and, despite the fact that she'd only been alive for a couple of weeks, he was convinced she was the most intelligent person ever born.

"I think she smiled at me yesterday," Draco continued, "but Harry said it was impossible. I think he's wrong though."

Draco told Alice all about the little girl's daily routine, as well as recounting stories about Teddy too. Neville knew that it was important to him to maintain the relationship he had forged with his cousin, making Teddy still feel special in the wake of Yvie's arrival.

"You have such lovely hair," Draco told Alice as he began to style it. Neville had never questioned how Draco knew how to style hair, but every time he visited Alice he did something different for her. He treated her like a princess, lavishing care and attention on her in his surprisingly quiet and gentle way.

Having Draco with him made Neville feel more comfortable about speaking to Alice and he chimed in as Draco spoke. He found it easier now to make eye contact with his mother and his heart brightened every time she smiled at him. He felt guilty for not visiting more in the past but he had always floundered each time he had. Draco acted as a conduit, he just made things easier and Neville was so grateful to him for that.

"Wow, Drake. That looks amazing," he said as he watched Draco put the finishing touches on Alice's hair.

"Vivien Leigh, eat your heart out," Draco said as he presented Alice with the mirror.

Neville never had a clue who the classic film stars were that Draco always referenced but his mother did indeed look fantastic. She was a very pretty woman with delicate features and soft, kind eyes. She would be 48 next year and yet she looked years younger, her small features giving her a rather elfin look.

"You like it?" Draco asked as Alice smiled at her reflection. She nodded and Draco beamed. "You look beautiful, if I do say so myself."

"It looks wonderful, Mum, like you've stepped off a film set."

"Now then," said Draco, reaching into the bag he'd brought, "where did we get to with Wind in the Willows?"

He and Neville had gone exploring in the attic of the main house and had found boxes of Frank and Alice's possessions that Neville's gran had packed away years ago. Alice's boxes had been full of books, across all genres, and Draco had brought them down to the cottage and was working his way through them with Alice.

Neville had never thought about reading to Alice, indeed he probably would have been too self-conscious to be able to do so. Draco had no such qualms. He put on voices for all the characters and read the narrative parts with such life and enjoyment that Neville found himself enjoying it as much as Alice seemed to.

"Ah of course," Draco said, finding his place, "Badger and the others have put Toad under house arrest."

Neville reached over and took Alice's hand as Draco launched into the story. He really was excellent; Toad had a delightfully foppish, posh voice, Badger was rough and grisly, Mole was squeaky and high-pitched and Ratty was the perfect English gent. It was a pleasure to listen to and they sat contentedly for an hour until Alice began to get sleepy.

"You know," said Draco as they walked arm-in-arm through the hospital corridors, "we should talk to the doctors about taking her out for the day or maybe spending the night with us."

"Really?" Neville said, taken aback.

"I don't see why not. It isn't as though she's violent or dangerous, she just needs extra care. It would be good to get her out of here once in a while, give her a change of scenery."

"Yeah…yeah I guess so."

Neville had never really considered it before; he would have been too overwhelmed to attempt it on his own but with Draco by his side perhaps they could try. He'd love to take his mother for a spot of afternoon tea or show her around the greenhouses and show off all his work. Draco was right, there was no reason why they couldn't do it and Neville began to consider the possibilities.

"Draco? Draco is that you?" came a voice as they walked past reception. Neville felt Draco tense and he placed his hand over the man's as they turned around. "My goodness, I thought it was."

"Hello Blaise," Draco said, straightening his shoulders.

"Gosh, it's been an age. And…Longbottom? My, haven't you changed?"

"Hi Blaise," Neville said, shaking the man's hand. "Good to see you."

"Blimey, it's been a long time. Drake, I thought you'd fallen off the face of the planet!"

"I um…I went away for a while," Draco said, pressing closer to Neville. "I needed to take some time out but I'm…I'm back now."

"What are you doing with yourself, Blaise?" Neville asked, wanting to deflect the attention from Draco.

"I'm working in the hospital as a research associate. I got my potions mastery a couple of years ago and specialised in healing. I head up a team here."

"Very impressive."

"You too," Blaise said with a warm smile. "I keep tabs on all your research, you've made a real name for yourself."

"I enjoy it," said Neville with a bashful shrug of his shoulders.

"And you, Draco? What have you been doing with yourself?"

Draco paused then said, "I…I've recently decided to get back into education…muggle education."

"Fantastic," said Blaise with genuine enthusiasm. "I wish you luck with it." He checked his watch and said, "I'm due back in the lab, I only popped out for a coffee. Draco, drop me an owl, it would be great to have a proper catch-up."

Draco nodded and Neville wondered if he would actually take the make up on it. "Nice to see you both," Blaise said. "Oh and you make a very cute couple by the way," he added with a wink before he disappeared down the corridor.

Neville felt Draco exhale and he said gently, "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," Draco said with a tentative smile. "That was…surprisingly pleasant. It's a relief to know that I can see people from the past without the world imploding."

"Blaise was always a pretty decent bloke. You should meet up with him."

"Maybe. One step at a time. Come on, let's get a takeaway. My treat."

Neville gave himself the following week off from work and he and Draco took Teddy on a couple of day trips. They spent a happy day at the beach, building sandcastles and playing in the sea, and they also took him to a nearby donkey sanctuary where he was allowed to feed and tend to the donkeys. It was a job getting him to leave and they had to promise that they would bring him back as soon as possible.

"I don't know where he gets his energy from," Neville said with a groan as he sprawled on the sofa. They had just dropped Teddy back home, making swift exits as Yvie was in the middle of a screaming fit.

"Oh to be 9 years old again," Draco said with a smile as he perched on the sofa.

Neville was, by now, an expert at reading Draco's body language and, although he could see that the man was happy after a busy day, there was something else. There was a slight hum of tension running through his body and Neville knew that something was bothering him.

"Something you want to talk about?" he asked gently.

"Hm?" Draco said, looking up from chewing his thumbnail, a habit he employed only when agitated.

"Is there something you want to talk about?" Neville repeated, reaching out and taking Draco's hand.

Draco took a deep breath and placed his other hand over Neville's, rubbing the rough knuckles. "I…um…I have something I want to ask you."

"Ask away."

Draco nodded and patted Neville's hand. "I feel…I feel like I'm starting a new chapter in my life. I've put a lot of stuff behind me, I've got rid of that hideous Mark and I'm about to take a new path with my education. I just feel that there's something else I need to lay to rest."

Draco paused and Neville held his silence. Whatever Draco wanted to say it was obviously difficult and Neville knew he needed to give the man time and space to get it out.

"When I found my mother after she…after she hanged herself, I cut her down and I buried her in the woods near the manor. I was…panicked and shocked, to be honest I was acting a kind of haze. I didn't really…say goodbye and I feel I need to do that to move on."

He squeezed Neville's hand and said, "I want to go back…back to her grave and say the things I never got to say. Will you come with me?"

Neville shifted closer and tucked Draco into his side, resting his chin on the blond head. "Of course I will, darling."

He couldn't imagine how painful it must have been for Draco to have to go through that at the time and how it must have played on his mind ever since. He could see why the man wanted to confront the issue, to try and find some peace and lay those ghosts to rest.

A couple of days later, on a sunny and warm Saturday, they apparated to the edge of the woods that surrounded the manor. Draco had no idea who now owned the old estate, nor was he interested, but Neville just hoped that they weren't chased out of someone's private woodland.

"Do you know where…where she is?" Neville asked gently.

Draco smiled sadly. "I know these woods like the back of my hand. I remember where I put her."

They walked for about fifteen minutes, Draco's nerves palpable, the only sound the birdsong through the trees. Neville wanted to provide more tangible support for Draco but he knew all he could do was be there, to provide comfort and strength when Draco needed it.

Draco led them to a little clearing and Neville's eyes widened as he saw the entire place was covered in daffodils. The season had long passed for the pretty flower and the faint crackle of magic in the air told him a charm was at work.

"Narcissus," Neville murmured, and Draco smiled at him.

"It seemed fitting," he said quietly. He looked around the pretty clearing, his face pale. "Now I'm here I don't know what to say," he said in a whisper.

"Take your time."

"I'm still so angry," Draco said, shaking his head. "It's been years and I'm still as furious with her as the day I found her. She just…left me. She was my mother and she was supposed to protect me but she left me to face everything on my own. I hate her for that."

"I think you're justified in feeling that way. It was a terrible betrayal."

"If she'd stayed, if she'd seen it through, I wouldn't have ended up where I did, my life wouldn't have gone in such an epic downward spiral. I can't…I can't get past that."

"I don't think I'd be able to either, but I've heard it said that forgiveness isn't for the person being forgiven it's for the one who was wronged. Perhaps…one day you will be able to get past it, but you shouldn't put any pressure on yourself to."

"I just wish I understood why she did it, why she didn't love me enough to stay and fight."

Neville had no response. He couldn't understand how Narcissa could have left her only child to fend for himself, how, after risking Voldemort's wrath to save him, she had abandoned him so cruelly. He knew suicide was never simple, that a suicidal person's mind could never be fully understood, but no one could blame Draco for his anger.

"Let's sit down for a bit," he said, taking a seat beneath a large beech tree. He held out his hand and Draco took it, sitting beside him and resting his head on Neville's shoulder.

The woods were peaceful, the summer sun shining gently through the canopy of trees and a soft breeze rustling the leaves occasionally. It was a beautiful spot for Narcissa's final resting place and Neville could see why Draco had chosen it. He couldn't begin to imagine what it must have been like all those years ago to find Narcissa and then to have to bury her.

"You've been through so much," Neville said quietly. "You should be proud of yourself for all the things you've overcome."

"I wouldn't have overcome anything if it hadn't been for you. I'd have sunk deeper and deeper and eventually either the drugs would have killed me or one dodgy customer too many would. I couldn't find a way out, Neville and I'd still be there now without you."

"Thank God I did find you. I hate the thought of living the rest of my life without you."

"You're planning on being saddled with me for that long?" Draco asked, a smile in his voice.

"I don't think I have a say in the matter. It's destiny."

"I never realised you were a fatalist."

"Just resigned to my fate when it comes to you," Neville said, resting his head on Draco's. I can't imagine my future without you in it."

"That works out well then. I have no intention of going anywhere."

Draco cuddled in closer and Neville held him tightly to his side, wishing he could erase all the hurt the man had ever suffered. "Can we stay for a while?" Draco asked softly.

"We can stay as long as you need. I'll be here for you."

"Of all the things in my life, that's the one thing I can rely on."

AN: I'm really sorry if I haven't replied to any reviews in the last week or so. I've started my new job and I'm rushed off my feet, I just don't have too much time at the moment. I appreciate every single review so much though and I promise I'll get around to replying when I have more time! Much love.