Chapter 14 : I Can't Lose You

April 5, 2004

"Let's just… let's just sit down and I'll explain it to you." Misa said carefully when the initial shock wore off. She motioned for Naomi to leave the room as she sat down beside L on the couch. He immediately reached under the pillow and read the top of the notes she had gathered.

"'Rules for Using the Death Note…' What is a death note?" He questioned.

Misa carefully gathered the notes from him and placed them on the coffee table. "We'll get to that, okay? Let me just explain from the beginning."

L nodded his head once, turning to her and giving her his full attention. Misa took a deep breath and tried to keep her attention focused on him as she told her story and not the god of death that was standing off to the side.

"Okay, some of this really isn't gonna be believable, but I promise to tell you the whole truth. I'll start from the beginning…

.

March 12, 2004

As Misa walked down the alley, she was suddenly struck with the eerie feeling that she was being followed. When she turned around, she spotted a middle-aged man she had never seen before. She tried to give him a polite smile and turn back around, but he called out to her.

"Misa-Misa, right? I'm a huge fan! Please let me tell you something, it's important!"

Misa immediately felt on edge, but she worried that turning away from the man would only anger him. She could at least hear what he had to say and if she still felt unsafe, she had that belt that would call Watari's phone. "Of course, Misa-Misa always has time for her fans!"

"What I want to tell you is this… I've fallen in love with you. I love you more than anything in this world and I would do anything for you. Please, will you be mine? Forever?" He asked as he stepped closer to her, revealing a ring in his left hand. The man had medium-length, dark hair and wore glasses and a business casual outfit, but Misa was certain she had never seen this man before. How could he love her? Did he even know her? And he wanted to marry her? What kind of a creep was he?

"Oh, that is very kind of you to say, but Misa-Misa is already involved with somebody." She rejected as politely as possible.

The man stared at her in disbelief and then bowed his head, all his hair falling in front of his eyes. "I've come all this way to ask you to marry me, and you say no immediately? Do you even know all that I've done for you? How can you reject me like that?"

Misa began to back away slowly, reaching for her belt, but her fingers trembled too much to push down firmly enough.

"Then I'll kill you and then myself!" The man suddenly shouted as he produced a knife from his pocket with his right hand and pointed it towards her.

Misa quickly hit the belt buckle as hard as she could as many times as possible, but the fear that came over her prevented her from running away, she was glued to the spot. As he continued to walk towards her, she closed her eyes, and despite all the dread that washed over her, there was a small, almost happy feeling that said, 'At least I'll be reunited with my parents.'

Suddenly, Misa heard a thud, and the man was laying on the ground in front of her with no sign of life. Misa looked around quickly but saw no one else in the alley. Was the man really dead? Did Kira just kill him? Why would Kira save her? What should she do now?

When her phone started ringing, she jumped out of her skin before answering it. "H-hello?"

"Miss Amane? Is everything alright?" Watari's voice answered and she'd never been happier to hear from the old man.

"Watari, thank God. I think… I think Kira just killed someone in front of me! You have to get here immediately! There was a stalker and he was following me and now- And now he's dead!" Misa rushed out, somehow thinking the faster she said it the faster he could get here and take care of the situation.

"I'll send police to your location immediately. Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" The old man asked calmly.

"No, no. I'm fine, I just… I think I almost died."

.

March 13, 2004

"I'm okay, Mako-chan, really. You don't need to trouble yourself and come all the way out here. I can probably visit soon, they might be giving me some time off work." Misa rationalized. Naomi had stepped out for a quick cigarette, a bad habit she had developed since they moved out here, and Misa took the opportunity to rip off the bandaid and tell her sister what happened.

"Misa-Misa, you were attacked by a stalker! With how famous you're becoming, it might happen again! Your agency needs to give you a bodyguard or something! I want to make sure you'll be okay." Her sister replied. Misa was used to her older sister being protective, but everyone around her had become so protective of her recently that it was smothering her.

"They actually did give me a bodyguard, so I'm okay, really." A small lie, but her sister didn't need to know all the details.

"Well at least they're that competent," Mako sighed, "Can you really visit soon? Mary misses you."

"I miss her too, give her lots of kisses from me. I'll take a look at my schedule and try to make room for a visit soon, I promise."

After exchanging their goodbyes, Misa looked around her apartment, feeling uneasy. She got the sense that somebody was watching her, but no one was around. The feeling didn't exactly scare her either, it was like some force was looking out for her. Maybe it was her parents? Maybe they were trying to tell her everything would be okay.

She sighed, making her way over to the fridge for a bottle of water when Naomi returned.

"So… how was it?" Naomi asked as she leaned against the kitchen wall.

"How was what?" Misa questioned, not really paying attention to her friend as she took a gulp of water.

"Oh, you know… the walls here are pretty thin."

Misa immediately spit out her water and started choking. She hadn't even thought about that, the fact that there was someone else in the house when they… "Oh gosh, I'm sorry Naomi!"

The older woman started laughing and Misa calmed down. "It's fine, just send me a text next time or some kind of codeword so I know to cover my ears."

Misa took another sip of water before finally answering her friend's question. "It was actually good, it didn't hurt like all my friends said it would. He was so careful with me. He cuddled me afterwards too, something a lot of my friends don't get from their boyfriends."

"It doesn't surprise me that L would be a gentleman about the whole thing," Naomi said, then added on, "Although it is kinda weird to imagine him as a sexual being. I always thought of him as asexual for some reason."

"Well I guess you didn't think about your boss's sex life that often." Misa giggled.

"No, not really. I guess that would be weird."

Misa leaned against the fridge as she opted for a change of topic, not really used to having sex talk with others, especially not about her sex life. "Are you really okay with being my bodyguard? I know you were hoping to have a more active role on the case soon, not just following me around."

"Following you around would lead to a more active role on the case, but no, I don't mind. I prefer being able to watch everyone and see that they're okay."

"Are you really going to follow me 24/7?" Misa asked with a bit of amusement.

"Maybe not 24/7, I've heard enough of you having sex, I don't think I want to see it too." Naomi joked. Misa splashed her with some water and the two women laughed.

Things almost felt normal. Almost.

.

March 20, 2004

When Misa woke up that morning, the air felt different. Everything about the atmosphere of their apartment was just a little bit off and she found herself not matching her usual rhythm in her morning routine. As she brushed her hair in the bathroom, she suddenly heard the sound of something hitting the floor. Wondering if she had accidentally knocked something over while zoning out, Misa looked around before her eyes caught a black notebook sitting by the bathtub.

When she picked it up, she noticed the cover had weird characters on it that she didn't recognize. She opened the notebook, but it was empty. Nothing inside at all. Misa didn't remember buying this notebook, but it did fit her gothic look, so maybe she'd use it as her new diary or something.

The air around her felt colder, and when she turned back to the mirror, she noticed a figure standing behind her.

"Misa Amane." The monster croaked.

Misa immediately screamed at the top of her lungs, but the monster covered her mouth with one hand and made a shushing motion with the other. Despite the fear and adrenaline coursing through her, when she looked into the monster's eyes, for some reason she felt a sense of home and belonging.

"Misa! Misa, what's happening?" Naomi yelled as she barged into Misa's room and knocked on the bathroom door.

"She cannot hear me nor see me without touching that notebook." The monster explained. "The notebook belongs to you, no one else."

Misa looked back at the monster with confusion, but it said no more. Suddenly, Naomi was kicking down the door, as apparently Misa hadn't answered her in time.

"What's happening?" Naomi questioned, looking around and not seeing anything, gun at the ready.

Not knowing what else to do, Misa threw the notebook at her, and Naomi caught it with one hand. "Wha- AHHHHH!" Naomi screamed as she was suddenly facing a tall, skeletal monster that was holding onto Misa. She immediately tried shooting at it, but the monster grabbed the gun from her hand.

"If you make too much noise, you will attract the attention of other humans who will think you have gone insane. They cannot see me without touching the notebook." The monster said.

Despite the chaos of the situation, a weird sense of calm came over Misa, and she stopped Naomi from trying to further attack the monster. "Wait, Naomi. Let's let it talk first." Naomi looked at her like she was crazy, but when the monster made no move to harm them, the former FBI agent backed down.

"Who are you?" Misa questioned.

"My name is Rem."

"Okay, Rem. What is this notebook you've given me?"

"This is the death note. The person's whose name is written in this book shall die. You must have the face of the person you are trying to kill in mind for the person to die. If you only write the name of the person with no details, they will die of a heart attack. Otherwise, you have forty seconds to specify the cause of death and six minutes and forty seconds to specify all the details." Rem explained.

There was a long pause as the two women took all the information in. Misa had just been given a murder notebook, a murder notebook that sounded like the way Kira was killing people. A monster appeared before her and gave her a murder notebook that could give people heart attacks…

"Misa, do you realize what this means?" Naomi whispered.

"This is how Kira kills." Misa gasped. "You're a Shinigami." She said as she looked at Rem and the creature nodded. "Shinigami are real and… and I have the same murder weapon that Kira uses…" Misa trailed off, walking into her room to grab another notebook and a pen.

She set the death note aside and sat down on her bed, opening the new notebook she produced and getting her pen ready. "Rem, please tell me everything you know about the death note."

.

After hours and hours of Misa and Naomi exhausting every question they could think of and taking turns writing all the rules down, the two women were worn out. They laid down on the floor of the living room surrounded by notes, randomly listing off other questions that came to mind every now and then.

Rem was a great source of information. They learned that Kira got his notebook for a Shinigami named Ryuk who had tricked the Shinigami King into giving him an extra death note. However, Rem did not trick the Shinigami King into giving her a death note, and had instead gotten it from watching another Shinigami die, the one named Gelus.

Gelus's story broke Misa's heart, but there was something tragically romantic about it. He watched over her every day like a guardian angel and saved her life all for the sake of love, but was punished with his own death. Misa really was supposed to die that day, but Gelus saved her, and now she had his lifespan, however long that may be. She felt grateful to the Shinigami who she never got to meet and hoped that whatever afterlife existed for gods of death treated him well.

Rem didn't know who Kira was and would be unable to tell them based on the rules of the Shinigami world, but there was the eye deal that would allow them to see the names and lifespans of everyone around them. Whoever didn't have a lifespan would be Kira. Misa immediately offered to make the deal, but Naomi turned the idea down, telling Misa she shouldn't give up half her lifespan so easily for the sake of finding Kira. They now knew how he killed, and that should be enough, the former FBI agent had reasoned.

They were also able to confirm that you could control people in multiple ways with the death note before killing them. There were limitations of course, the physical limits of the person you were controlling and the fact that you couldn't write other names down along with it or they would just die, but there was a lot you could do. You could also use just a piece of the note to kill people. Misa wondered if Kira even carried the notebook with him at all or if he just carried pieces around with him.

Misa was beginning to realize just how incredibly powerful Kira really was. He didn't have to kill everyone with heart attacks, he could choose accidents or diseases. If he chose for a disease to develop on its own, it could be years before the person he controlled died. Luckily, you couldn't kill anyone who was less than 780 days old, which meant Misa's niece was safe. You also couldn't kill people over 124 years old with it, which seemed like an odd rule.

There were limitations to the death note as well. You couldn't extend anyone's life by setting a death date beyond their original lifespan. If you wrote someone's name wrong four times, they could not be killed by the death note, but if you wrote the person's name wrong four times on purpose, you would die and the person you tried to save could still be killed by the death note. If two people wrote someone's name at the same time, within .06 seconds exactly, the person could not be killed by the death note, but once again if you did this on purpose, the same thing would happen. Misa had exhausted all the ways of potentially saving someone, hoping to find a way to ensure the safety of her loved ones, but nothing worked.

Another odd rule was the 23 day rule, you could only write deaths up to 23 days out, but if you assigned someone to die of disease, that rule no longer mattered and they would die whenever the disease took hold of them. Misa thought about writing dying of old age for everyone she cared about, but Rem and Naomi quickly pointed out that it wouldn't work, and even if she chose a disease like Alzheimer's, there was no telling what the death note might do.

Using the death note dooms the person who used it to never be able to go to heaven or hell, but Misa found she didn't care about that much. She would doom herself if it meant she could save everyone she loved. Naomi didn't want her to use the notebook at all, stating that it was morally wrong and that they should only use it to find and beat Kira, but Rem said the notebook was hers and she should use it for herself. What Misa most wanted to do was find Kira and write his name down in the death note, that way she could ensure he never killed L or Naomi or anyone else ever again.

Misa didn't have the same strong moral compass Naomi and L had. She had her own compass that told her to do whatever it took to take care of her family and friends. Misa would just have to work outside of them and not let either of them find out about it. It would be hard to do, but she had a Shinigami on her side, so it might not be impossible. Besides, there was no reason for Naomi to act as her bodyguard any longer as they now knew it was Gelus who killed the stalker and not Kira.

Misa would just have to wait for the right opportunity to speak to Rem on her own.

.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, and Misa hurriedly began gathering up all the notes they'd been writing. She could hear L's voice on the other side, but she wasn't ready for him to know about all this just yet. It would be a lot to take in anyway.

"Misa, what are you doing?" Naomi asked.

"Sh! Quickly, gather up all the notes and hide them in your room! Hide the notebook there too!" Misa whispered.

"Shouldn't we-"

"Sh! Quieter!"

"Shouldn't we tell L about all of this?" Naomi whispered back, exasperated.

"No, not yet. It would be too much. We freaked out over seeing Rem, imagine how he'd react."

"But wouldn't it be better to-"

"Sh!"

"Fine!" Naomi said, giving in and taking everything to her room.

"Rem, can you like, leave for a little bit?" Misa asked.

"I cannot go too far, but I can leave the apartment building if you wish." The creature answered.

"Yes, thank you! You're the best!" Misa tried to pat down her hair as she went to answer the door, before suddenly adding in, "Naomi, go to the store and get her some apples!" Maybe that one message from Kira had been true.

Misa finally opened the door and L stared at her, taking in what must have been a bit of a disheveled appearance and probably already forming questions she didn't want him to ask. She quickly pulled him inside before he could think of too much else.

"Is everything okay?" He finally asked.

"Of course! Of course! Let's go to my room!" She said excitedly, pushing him towards the door. He let himself be guided inside, and Misa stood back, trying to come up with some explanation for how weird she was acting. She never was that great at lying, at least not to him.

"You seem nervous, are you sure you're okay?" He asked once he was sitting on her bed in his normal position.

"Oh well, I was thinking of something, but I wasn't sure how you would react, so nevermind that. Just forget about it, okay?" Misa answered, sitting down beside him and twiddling her thumbs, trying to appear more nervous as an idea came to mind.

"What were you thinking about?"

Well, it wasn't a complete lie because she had been thinking about it, but she still blushed bright red as she asked, "Well um, I was thinking like… what if I got a strap-on one day… would that be something you'd be, um, comfortable trying?"

"I'd let you do anything to me." Misa was stunned by how quickly he answered that. L really wasn't like other guys.

She smirked as she was able to push his legs down and climbed on top of his lap to straddle him. "Anything, hm? Even right now?"

"Anything." He breathed back, sufficiently distracted.

Misa heard Naomi leave the apartment and Rem had left some time ago, so it was fine for her to do things with him now, she decided. They hadn't done anything since the last time as it had been a busy week for him and every time he came to see her at night, they just ended up falling asleep together. She decided she would make up for lost time and have some fun with him.

Misa placed a hand on his chest and lightly pushed him back onto her bed. She hovered over him, tracing his lips with hers, but not quite kissing him, and trailed her lips over to his ear. "Misa's in charge tonight." She whispered.

"Yes ma'am." He replied, and she shivered. She kind of liked being in control like this.

Misa slowly kissed down his neck and then lightly tugged his shirt down to suck on his collarbone. His hands drifted to her sides, but she gently grabbed them and brought them back to the bed. "No touching."

L sighed, but did not argue as she continued to hold his wrists down to the bed and trace her lips across his face, giving light kisses here and there. Finally, she met his lips and sucked harshly before sucking his tongue into her mouth and lightly biting down. L groaned, hands twitching just a bit, but he made no move to touch her.

She sat up lightly to remove his shirt and then began kissing down his chest. Her hands left his wrists to begin stroking down his sides and L sucked in a breath as he tried not to react so much to the touch. Misa loved how vocal and expressive he was and decided to try to provoke more reactions from him by gently grinding against his crotch as she continued to massage his sides and the skin just under his belly button. The man trembled underneath her, fingers digging into the sheets as he tried not to disobey her order.

Misa slowly moved down his body, taking his jeans and underwear down with her, and was greeted with his erection standing tall. Misa kissed his thighs and brushed his erection with her cheek, trying to tease him as much as possible until he couldn't take it anymore.

"Misa." He moaned. Misa giggled at the man's struggle, loving the affect she had on him. She began to slowly trace her tongue up his dick until she got to the slit at the top and began to suck on the head. L groaned in response, fingers still clutching the sheets in a death grip.

Misa still wasn't ready to take the whole thing into her mouth, it was too intimidating, but she took as much of him into her mouth as she could and used her hand to cover the rest. She stroked the based up and down slowly as she sucked harshly at the top. L was writhing beneath her, trying his hardest not to buck his hips up into her mouth.

Misa sped her hand up, hitting herself a few times as she did so, but L was loving the attention, moaning underneath her and begging for more. She sucked and let her the flat of her tongue press firmly against the slit at the head, making him whine even more. All of her actions were designed to only tease for now, she wouldn't let him cum just yet.

She finally pulled away from him and L whimpered at the loss. One by one, she began to slowly remove her clothes, dancing sensually as she did so. L watched her with eyes ablaze with passion and lust and she wondered if this was how he looked when he watched her as she went undercover as a stripper all those months ago. Did he even desire her back then?

"Do you like watching Misa dance?" She asked as she removed the last of her clothing.

"Yes, Misa." He said as he stared back at her, fingers still trembling.

She climbed back on top of him, rubbing her wet pussy against his dick, but not letting it go inside her just yet. "Have you always wanted Misa like this?"

"Yes."

"Did you ever touch yourself and think of Misa?" She wasn't sure what was making her so bold tonight, but she decided to ride this wave of confidence out for as long as it lasted.

"Y-yes."

Misa trailed her hand down her body to her center and gently inserted two fingers inside her, masturbating just above him. She sighed as she took her time with herself, going at a slow, lazy pace. "Misa thought of you too."

L made another whimpering noise, watching her hand and struggling not to buck up against her. "Misa… Misa please."

"Please what?" She whispered as she leaned down to suck on his earlobe.

"Nnnh… please fuck me."

"Hm, well since you said please…" Misa stopped fingering herself above him and lined herself up with his dick, sinking down onto it slowly. The stretch was still intense, but it felt so right. She wasn't able to make it all the way down his cock as it started to feel too deep, but enough of him was inside her for it to feel amazing.

"Misa…" L whined. She started to move up and down, riding him in an unhurried manner, and L met her with his own slow, thrusting motion. She braced a hand on each side of his head, leaning over him more as she got used to the feeling of him inside of her. The first time had felt intense, but this was a whole new level. He was even deeper than before and she was in complete control this time. As much as she liked the moments where L had his way with her, there was something so exciting about being the one in charge and making L submit to her entirely.

As she had adjusted to the feeling of him inside her and was able to take more of it, she picked up the pace and L began bucking up into her faster. She took one hand back and pushed it between their bodies to massage her clit, grinding down into the friction and clenching L's dick with her internal muscles as she did so. L whined out again, one hand reaching up to tug at his own hair because he couldn't touch her.

"L-look at you." Misa sighed as she moved her hips against his. "You look so fucked. All because of Misa."

L moaned, closing his eyes and throwing his head back. "Misa, please… I want to… I want to touch you."

"Be a good boy." Misa hushed, purposely clenching down on him to make him cry out again. She rubbed her clit faster as she continued to ride his dick. L was bucking up into her wildly, unable to control himself or have as much care and precision as he usually did now that he wasn't allowed to hold her. His hair was even more of a mess than usual and he was sweating like crazy. She realized she was sweating too, but she didn't care. It was all worth it to see L this messed up because of her, desperate to cum. He was always so careful, and as sweet as it was, she loved seeing this more animalistic side to him that was having trouble controlling himself.

Misa leaned down to kiss him fiercely on the lips and he moaned into the kiss. She stopped riding him and just kissed him and rubbed at her clit instead with him still inside of her. L made wanting little noises against her lips, clearly confused as to why she stopped, but she wanted to torture him a little longer. She wanted him to beg her again and again, to be completely lost in her and his need to orgasm.

Misa trailed her lips down to his collarbone and sucked as she pinched her clit, finally reaching her own peak and falling over the edge. She moaned against his skin and humped down onto his dick as she came, walls clenching him and making him whimper out in need. Little aftershocks continued to hit her as she slowly climbed off of him, making her legs all shaky and it harder to stand.

"Misa!" L called. He was as hard as ever with his dick wet and covered in her orgasm. He was trembling so badly and his toes were curling and uncurling. "Misa, please! Please!"

"Please what?" Misa sang back to him.

"Please let me cum."

"Hm… should I?" Misa whispered as she trailed a hand down his chest.

"Yes! Please!" He gasped.

"Well you have been a good boy." Misa laid down on the bed on her back and beckoned him over to her. L hastily climbed on top of her, hands digging into the sheets on either side of her head. He was still waiting for her to instruct him and she felt giddy with power. He wouldn't do anything until she told him to, still surrendering all of his control to her.

Misa reached up and kissed him before once again aligning their bodies and letting him thrust into her. L immediately buried his face in her neck and quickened his rhythm, thrusting into her with complete reckless abandon, desperately seeking his own end. This wasn't the same L who had been gentle with her before, but she loved this side of him just as much.

Misa cried out underneath him, the feeling so intense and building up another orgasm for her. She held onto him, digging her fingernails into his back as he desperately fucked her. Her clit grazed against his skin and she bucked up into him, seeking more of that friction despite her heightened sensitivity from her last orgasm.

"Misa, Misa…" L whimpered. He kissed her neck and sucked so hard until she was certain he would leave marks she'd have to apply makeup to in the morning. She felt his whole body begin to shake and knew he was about to reach his end. Her hands left his back to stroke his sides and then he was losing it, fucking her through his orgasm and making her cum with him.

Misa's other orgasms with him had been good, but this was the first one that made her see stars. She held onto him tightly, crying out as the wave crashed over her. He was a complete mess as well, moaning into her ear as he came deep inside her for what felt like an eternity.

When they were finally able to catch their breath again, L mumbled against her ear, "Next time, I'm in charge."

Misa giggled. "Sure you will be."

.

April 2, 2004

Misa learned from her old friends at the entrance exam that the college entrance ceremony was just in a few days. L had also told her he'd be busy over the next couple of days, so she knew he must be following another Kira suspect. Despite everything, he continued to try to keep her away from the case.

She really couldn't complain too much though because much to Naomi's exasperation, she still hadn't told him about the death note or Rem. She would often kick both Naomi and Rem out to have alone time with her boyfriend. Misa would keep the notes and the notebook hidden in Naomi's room, but didn't feel the need to cover up the growing apple pile in the kitchen. Whenever L got curious, she would just distract him with sex, which would leave him exhausted and unable to think.

She started collecting more notes too, learning more about the eyes and how they worked. She was going to make the eye deal even if Rem and Naomi were against it. It was their best shot at finding Kira and from there she'd figure out what to do next. She knew she couldn't just kill Kira and leave another death note out in the world. She would need to get his notebook from him first.

Tricking Naomi wasn't too hard. Misa felt a little bad about lying, but she knew that Naomi's plan of taking Misa's death note to the task force would backfire. At best they would just laugh at the two women and at worst they would accuse Misa of being Kira. Misa knew L would know better, but what could he really do up against an opponent with supernatural powers? It was in his best interest that Misa put a stop to Kira here and now.

"Rem couldn't tell me my exact lifespan, but she told me about all the people Gelus killed, so I did the math and putting all their lifespans together and halving it, I still end up with seventy years. So, do you see why it isn't a big deal for me to do the eye trade? And this way we'll know for sure if L's suspect is Kira!" Misa said, although it was all bullshit, Misa had no idea how many years Gelus gave her.

"It doesn't seem like I can talk you out of this and I've been trying for weeks." Naomi sighed. "Fine, but if you are going to the university you're going with a wire and a camera on you and the moment you try to get in contact with the suspect, I'm telling L."

"Fine, fine. I won't try to contact the suspect. But then we can plan together once I know for sure he's Kira."

"L will be mad at me for disobeying orders, but I suppose this will work." Naomi replied, then added, "And after this you'll finally tell L, right?"

"Yes, yes. Of course!" Misa said, though she wasn't fully certain she would. After spotting Kira with the Shinigami eyes, she was hoping to ditch whatever equipment Naomi put on her and follow Kira until she saw where he kept his notebook. Then, she would try to steal the notebook and kill him with it. After that, she supposed she would burn them or something as they'd be of no more use.

"And you're sure she'll be able to spot Kira with the Shinigami eyes, Rem?" Naomi asked.

"Yes, it will be obvious. He will be the only one without a lifespan." The monster answered. Misa hoped Naomi didn't ask Rem about Misa's lifespan lie because she had a good feeling the god of death would rat her out.

"Then it's settled. Rem, give me the eyes."

.

April 5, 2004

Light Yagami. What a weird name. He looks so serious too. He looks too attractive to be a serial killer, but it has to be him. He doesn't have a lifespan. Misa thought to herself as she watched Kira ascend the stage and her boyfriend follow right behind him.

"The guy on the left is so cute! Do you think he'd go for one of us?" The girl next to Misa asked.

"Meh, I think the guy on the right is much cuter." Misa replied, looking up at L. It was just then that she noticed his name, his real name. L Lawliet… How do you even pronounce that? What an interesting name.

"What are you talking about, Kyoko? The guy on the left is way better looking!" The girl next to her argued.

Bitch. Misa thought.

After the ceremony, Misa stayed back awhile, before 'accidentally' running into a guy with a cup of water, damaging the wire and camera on her. Well, now that that's settled…

Misa waited for L to leave before she started to tail Kira. There was a large crowd, so she didn't stand out. The teenager seemed incredibly on edge though, probably because of whatever L said to him while they were leaving the stage. It didn't seem like she'd be able to find his death note on him, especially not in this crowd, and he was unlikely to lead her back towards it with how paranoid he seemed. It might be better for her to just leave and try to find him another day, now that she knew what school he went to.

Just then, he turned around and looked at her, and Misa blushed, quickly ducking her head down and hoping her disguise was good enough for him not to know who she truly was.

"Misa, you are playing a dangerous game." Rem warned. "Kira's Shinigami has noticed me, and he could say something to Kira."

Then there's no choice, I need to approach him. Misa decided. She started to follow the man again, trying to catch up to him. Once the crowd had died down around them, she tapped him on the shoulder, and when he turned to face her again with a questioning look, she fixed him with a big smile.

"Yagami Light, right? I just wanted to say that I'm a big fan." Misa said, crossing her hands behind her back and trying to look cute.

"Oh, thank you. And you are?"

"Sato Kyoko. I was thinking maybe we could share notes one day." She said with a wink. She hoped that was enough for him to understand.

The teenager stared at her for a moment before his expression changed to a slightly more serious one. His Shinigami must have said something to him. He eyed her again, as if studying her and trying to glean as much of her character as he could from this small exchange. It reminded her of L in a way. "Sharing notes could be dangerous. Others might think it's wrong." He finally said.

"You're right, I've never done it before, but I was hoping you could teach me. I'll do whatever you say, sensei."

"I'm sorry, Sato-san, but I don't think I'd be a fitting teacher. I have to watch my own back." He replied.

"That's too bad, I've had my eye on you." She said, slowly walking away, "If you ever change your mind, find me sometime. I won't make a move until you do."

Kira said nothing in response, so Misa left, walking over to a nearby café to get a quick drink. She didn't want to go to her apartment right away in case the young man decided to follow her. She could have Rem be lookout in the meantime.

"Misa, I don't think that was a good idea. Ryuk was snickering the whole time, and that's never a good sign." Rem said.

You worry too much, Rem. Misa thought as she drank her coffee, looking out at the students around them. I have the eyes, so I'm more powerful than him.

After finishing her drink and having Rem check around for Kira, Misa finally made her way back towards her apartment. She couldn't wait to tell Naomi her plan worked, even if the older woman yelled at her for getting her wire and camera ruined. She knew exactly who Kira was now and they were one step closer to beating him.

.

"This is a death note… and this is how Kira kills people?" L asked. Misa nodded in response. "And you were given this death note by Rem after she witnessed another Shinigami die by saving you from the stalker?" Misa nodded again.

"Do you want to see Rem?" She asked. She made the Shinigami hide in her room when she handed L the death note. She had also let him read over all the notes she and Naomi had written, except for the ones about the eyes. She didn't really want to show him all of this stuff, but it was too late now. The notes were supposed to be in Naomi's room, but the woman must have purposely left them out to force Misa into having this conversation with him. It had to be done, she was no good at lying to him, and she couldn't distract him with sex this time.

"Okay." L said. He braced himself as the creature slowly exited her room. Amazingly, he did not scream, but just sat there with his jaw hung open for quite some time before saying, "Apologies, Rem-san, I have never seen a god of death before."

"That's alright." The Shinigami replied.

Misa had spent the last hour telling L everything, well everything except the finer details of the eye deal and the part where she just approached Kira and essentially offered to help him to trick him into trusting her. That part didn't need to be said.

Or so she thought.

"And you were able to tell that Yagami Light is Kira with the Shinigami eyes Rem traded to you because he has no lifespan, but you can see everyone else's lifespan?" L asked. Uh oh.

"Y-yeah."

"These eyes let you see everyone's names? Why are they left out of your notes? They seem like a useful tool, so why hasn't Kira made this trade?" L questioned.

"Well, the eyes are a lot to handle. I see everyone's names and lifespans all the time. I don't know how to calculate the numbers, but it's still a lot. It makes me sad when it looks like people have shorter lifespans." She replied. This was true after all, she saw a kid the other day with a three digit lifespan, she didn't know what that meant, but it didn't seem good.

"I think there is something else you are not telling me." L finally said as he put the notes to the side.

"I can see your name too, but I don't know how to pronounce it. It looks pretty." She said. "I won't tell anyone what it is though, of course."

"That's not it. There's something more. Why hasn't Kira made the eye deal? What do you trade for the eyes?" L asked, leaning in closer to Misa. She started fidgeting, not wanting to answer his question, but she knew he'd keep hounding her until she did.

"Well you see, when Gelus died I got his lifespan, and he was a Shinigami, so he must have had a really long lifespan, and so it was okay for me to make the trade, but someone like Kira probably wouldn't want to because he has a normal lifespan." Misa rushed out.

"What did you trade?" L asked again, his eyes wider.

"It's not a big deal, okay? You can't freak out." She took in a deep breath before saying as fast as possible, "I traded half my lifespan."

L's eyes widened impossibly more, but he still said nothing. He did nothing. Just stared at her, which somehow made it worse. Then, he got to his feet and started pacing around her living room.

"Like I said, I have my lifespan plus Gelus's lifespan, so that's a lot of years!"

"No, you have Gelus's lifespan. Your lifespan ended when the stalker attacked you." L corrected, still pacing around. She could see that he was biting down on his thumb.

She got to her feet as well and defended, "Well that's still a lot of years!"

"You don't know that. You don't know how many years you got." He picked up the notes again. "In the notes about the Shinigami world, it says that the Shinigami aren't active about killing people and only kill when they are about to die, otherwise they are seen as working too hard. Gelus has been watching you for the last nineteen years, so how hard has he been working?"

"Well he killed the stalker, so I at least got his lifespan! That's gotta be like thirty years at least!"

"Or it could be two weeks, and now you have one." L argued.

"Well it's done now, there's no reason to discuss it further." Misa said as she approached him, trying to get him to calm down, she had never seen him this worked up before.

L backed away from her, not letting her touch him as he continued, "It was a bad idea. You should have discussed this with me. You should have told me about the death note sooner and we could have made a plan of action together. You shouldn't have left me out of this."

"I was going to tell you after! I just didn't want to worry you! And now look at you, worried!"

"I'm not worried, I'm-" L shook his head. He resumed his pacing once again.

"Misa wanted to inform you after she approached Kira." Rem suddenly added in.

"Rem!" Misa gawked. She knew the Shinigami would sell her out.

"You approached Kira?" L froze.

"No! Well, yes! But I gave him a fake name and told him I was a fan, nothing more!"

"Was there more?" L asked, turning to Rem.

"His Shinigami saw me and most likely told him that Misa had a Shinigami with her. Misa also indicated to him that she had the eyes and would be willing to work with him." Rem answered.

"As a trick! I was manipulating him!" Misa justified.

L started walking around once again, this time with his head in his hands, mumbling, "Why? Why would you do that?"

"I'm trying to help you! Why are you so upset about this?"

"BECAUSE I CAN'T LOSE YOU!" L shouted. They paused, both equally shocked by L's outburst. He had never shouted before. He never even raised his voice before. And now he was… trembling.

"L…" Misa whispered, "I'm sorry…" When she took a step forward, he immediately took a step back.

"I have to go." He said in a voice much quieter than before. Before she could say anything else, he was already out the door.

.

In Wammy's seventy years of life, he had learned many things. He had learned about the scars of war as a young man and how they never quite heal. He had learned how to invent things in his time after the war, a hobby to help cope that led to an abundance of wealth. He had learned how to care for others, how to help children in situations much less fortunate than his own. And when he found that eight-year-old child who was scared out of his mind of what was to come next, he learned to love.

Raising L hadn't been easy, he had a penchant for trouble and he was far more intelligent than any other kid Wammy had ever met before. When he decided on detective work at a young age, Wammy had agreed to it, hoping that he could still raise the young lad into a fine gentleman.

Over the years, as L became more distanced from his peers, the old man would wonder if he had messed up, if he should have guided L's genius towards some over avenue. He often worried that he would never see his son settle down and have a family. Wammy knew that he wasn't long for this world, and if L didn't settle down soon, he might never get a chance to see it. He was beginning to worry that L would never have someone in his life who he cared for with his whole being. Sure, L cared for people in general in the grand scheme of things, but he didn't make those individual connections, didn't have anyone truly special to him.

And then Miss Amane walked into their lives and everything changed. For the first time, Wammy got to watch his son fall in love, and with a kind woman who was so devoted to him. It was the best thing Wammy could have hoped for. Maybe he tried a little too hard to push L in the right direction, but he wanted to make sure his son didn't miss out on a good thing. He could see that the woman was special to L right away and he didn't want L to push her away out of fear. He had raised L to be more of a gentleman than to ghost her as he tried to do.

Wammy taught L many things. He taught him how to command police forces to do his bidding. He taught him how to defend himself with various fighting styles and weapons. He taught him how to drive, and even how to pilot a helicopter. He taught him many things, but the one thing he forgot to teach him turned out to be much more important than he thought it would be. He forgot to teach him about heartbreak.

There were times when Wammy wanted to tell his son that it was okay for him to abandon the Kira case and run off with the woman he loved. He wanted to tell his son that this didn't have to be his burden, that the world may have called on him to save them, but there were others still up to the task as well. He knew L wouldn't listen to any of that though, but maybe he still should have said it.

That was what Wammy was thinking about when L stepped into his office at midnight after having just walked all the way back to the hotel through the rain.

"L, what is it? What's wrong?" Wammy asked as he turned around in his chair to face his son. L's hair covered his eyes, and he was looking down at the ground, the water soaking through to the floor. As he stood before him, Wammy did not see the twenty-four-year-old seasoned detective, but instead saw that scared eight-year-old once again.

And when L finally raised his head up, the old man saw something he hadn't seen since that night. Tears. And so he did what he had before, he grabbed a blanket, some cookies, and some tea and told his son that everything was going to be alright. Wammy stayed up with him all night as he cried his heart out, and then helped put him to bed in the early morning.

He would need to make a call to one Miss Amane in the morning to learn about what happened as L would likely never tell him. And then they would learn how to handle it together, just like they did before.

Wammy had learned many things in his life, and he was about to learn a whole lot more about a world he never even knew existed.

.

.

.

Author's Note: I should be doing work not writing fanfiction but oh wellllllllllll.

An early update, as a holiday gift, because I might not update next week. Gotta take some time to prep for finals and reorganize my life. Also I might be doing another oneshot soon or multiple oneshots soon, who knows with how my brain works.

I hope you all see Misa as believably smart in this fic, but still incredibly impulsive. I also still wanted to keep that aspect of her moral ambiguity in the fic.

The exchange with [insert random student] also comes from the manga, as does the line about her being more powerful than Light. I actually initially thought Misa would be a villain that would kill Light when she was first introduced in the manga because that line was so sus.

Anyways, until next time! Thanks as always for reading!