Susan Bartlett answered the door bell. She wasn't surprised to see Erin and Mitch's neighbour on the front porch having been well and truly informed on how 'interested' she seemed to be in Erin and Mitch's life and had been waiting for it all morning. "Hi Lizzie, isn't it?" Susan smiled kindly. "Can I help you?"

"I was just dropping to organise our Manicure date on the weekend." Lizzie was a little wary of Susan this morning, she was giving off a bad vibe. "You should join us."

"Not my thing." Susan didn't open the flyscreen door or make any move to welcome Lizzie in. "Sorry Erin and Mitch aren't home." She had arrived a week ago as planned and had spent most of her time at home with Erin while Mitch was at work. They'd had a very lively BBQ on the previous weekend and Susan had held centre stage.

Susan had zero qualms about hanging her son out to dry and it had been a wild ride. Not so much for Mitch, he just had to grin and bear it. There were stories about him demanding to wear a dress for three weeks when he was three. It was the only way he would agree to get in the car to take his elder sister to school. He had found her Snow White fancy dress costume that Nancy had worn to a party and decided he liked it. He would refuse to put anything else on and also insisted on wearing a little pair of plastic slippers with butterfly's and a small heel. It took forever to go anywhere because he could barely walk in them.

"All you could hear was clip clop clip clop…then nothing as he stopped to put them back on when they came off, then clip clop. Three whole weeks it was the only thing he wore. I thought 'camp as a row of tents' and then suddenly he abandoned it and moved onto something else. Still loves to get dressed up in woman's clothing I hear." Susan laughed hysterically at Mitch's mortified look.

"Dress up parties are fun." He tried to defend himself knowing that it was a lost cause, she was having way too much fun with this.

"Sure dear." She patted her son's cheek. "How did you break that news to Erin?"

"I haven't."

It just didn't stop…all day. They heard about when he cried when a girl kissed him, he was five and came home from school in tears and it took a good hour to find out why. "Finally he spat it out….Preetha kissed me. I'm going to have a baby…. My poor little baby boy was not only scared of girls, he was completely clueless. I was worried about him for the longest time. I thought he'd still be living in my basement talking to his 'online' friends, you know the type that apparently are the greatest friends in the world until you find out they are actually 45 year old obese men living in their mother's house and sitting in a dark room in their underwear and scratching their own balls."

"Jeez Mother." Mitch muttered under his breath.

"Or buying those cameo things."

"What's that?" Harry asked. She was currently holding court with Harry, Drew and Joe while Mitch just shook his head in defeat. It was pointless trying to stop her and he should've known this was coming.

"You know those things sad lonely people do. Pay for some D Grade Celeb to record a video for you so that you can pretend you've got friends." Susan waved her hands around. "It's all the rage. I think it started off so that you could get someone to send a fan a birthday message or get well message or something meaningful, which is kinda nice and now it's been co-opted by sad stalker fans desperate for attention. I thought that was where Mitch was heading. Seems to have got his shit together now though." She turned to Mitch. "You don't do that cameo shit do you?"

"I don't even know what you are talking about."

Susan pinched one of Mitch's cheeks. "Seriously though, my baby boy is the sweetest. I'm so proud of him, I could burst. Erin is one lucky lady. As long as she treats my baby boy right I like her."

"Are you done?" Mitch muttered. "I've gotta live with these people after you have gone."

"I might stay. I like it here."

"Until it snows, then you turn into an abominable snowwoman."

Lizzie was starting to feel very uncomfortable as Susan stared at her through the door. She was so stern looking and had no qualms in showing her disdain and annoyance. "Oh. Sorry, can you just tell her to give me a call or let me know if she's still good?"

"I'll tell her." Susan's words were a little clipped, she obviously didn't appreciate the intrusion.

"Oh okay, tell her I dropped by." Lizzie didn't quite know how to respond now. "Perhaps I'll give her a call."

"I don't think Erin will feel much up to getting her nails done right now." Susan went to shut the door but Lizzie didn't move. "I'll tell Erin and Mitch you stopped by."

When she got home she sent Erin a message and got no response either and she started to worry. Lizzie knew that they had been trying for another baby and while Erin had said nothing they were both on a health kick and Mitch had been bitching about the lack of alcohol lately. He loved teasing Erin about their ridiculously healthy eating plan.

Erin had told Lizzie about the fertility diet they were on and what she had to avoid. "It's not getting pregnant that's the problem, it's staying pregnant and there is a whole heap of food that you shouldn't eat or eat very little of when pregnant so I decided to cut it out completely and Mitch is grumpier than Scrooge on Christmas. He's such a whiny little bitch." She moaned. "I mean it's the least he could do."

"Don't tell me he's refusing to help?" Lizzie was a little shocked. Every time she talked to either of them they seemed like the perfect couple, willing to do whatever it takes to make each other happy. While you never quite knew what went on behind closed doors they always seemed amused by each other and affectionate. There was never any hint of anything amiss.

"Oh no, he is, he just whinges a lot and today it's pissing me off. I'm feeling crappy and tired so having Mitch whining about his decaf pushed me over the edge." Erin ranted. "And he started some stupid fucking rant about suddenly craving pineapple because it's on the banned list. He's being a child."

"Pineapple?"

"Yes, pineapple. It contains bromelain which can soften the cervix too much. Of course he read that I need to eat seven pineapples a day to be an issue but I just don't want to risk it, you know." It just rolled off Erin's tongue, she'd done so much reading lately.

They'd also had a blazing row when he'd snuck over one Sunday afternoon, lured by the offer of a beer with Drew. One beer turned into half a dozen and Erin had been pissed beyond belief. She had torn strips off him when he hadn't come back three hours later. Apparently he had promised to cook dinner and Erin had marched across the road and dumped the raw slab of pork ribs in his lap. "Thanks for fucking nothing." She seethed. "Here's your fucking dinner."

Sheepishly he had admitted to Drew that it took her three days to calm down and actually speak to him again and he had to cook the ribs and eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Erin was not a woman to be trifled with or one who easily dropped a grudge. She was going to make him sweat a bit.

When Lizzie spied Mitch pulling up a few hours later she dashed across to catch him before he went inside. For a work day he didn't look like he in was work clothes.

"Oh hi Lizzie." He certainly didn't look pleased to see her either.

"Mitch, how's Erin? I came over to see if she was still right to get our nails done on the weekend."

"She's okay." He smiled sadly and looked at the ground, kicking at some small pebbles.. "She's in hospital at the moment." They had left just after dinner the previous evening and did it in a rush. They knew someone would see it and it would spread around the neighbourhood like wildfire.

"Oh god is she okay?"

"Not really. She had another miscarriage." He stepped back as Lizzie reached out to touch his arm. The last thing he wanted right now was to be touched, he didn't even want sympathy, he just wanted to get what he needed and get back to Erin. "Anyway, I need to go. I want to grab her some things and get back to the hospital."

"I'm so, so sorry Mitch. I didn't know she was pregnant." Lizzie gasped. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No, thank you though. It was early, ectopic, which is a new one for us." She shook his head sadly. "We just want to kinda be left alone for a bit. Erin's pretty wrecked by it." He forced himself to speak, and it was hard to miss the distinct devastation behind his words. "We both are. She'll be home tomorrow hopefully or the day after."

"I can pop in and see her if you need to go to work or something?"

"She's really not up to seeing anyone right now, but thanks. I've got a couple of days off. Sadly, we've done this before… too many times." Mitch jiggled his keys in his hand. He really wanted to get going. "Anyway, I'll let Ez know you were asking about her."

"Of course. Give her my love. And anything your need, anything at all."

He smiled painfully at Lizzie and excused himself.

Susan was waiting for him inside. "She came over today, I didn't tell her anything." She commented when Mitch told her that he'd been accosted outside.

"It's okay. I told her." He filled her in on the whole conversation. It was short and to the point and lacking details. Erin had been very specific on how much she wanted people to know.

"How is she?" Susan slid a beer in front of him and reached for her glass of wine.

"Okay." He winked. "All good."

"You sure?"

"Yes. I am sure. I'm going to head back soon." He rolled the beer bottle between his two hands and didn't look at his mother. "You know someone told me once that no one should wake up alone so I feel a little strange leaving her tonight."

"That sounds like a wise person."

"The wisest person I know." Taking a long slow drink from his beer bottle he savoured it. Although he did admit the no drinking for a few weeks wasn't that bad, and even the healthy eating, apart from the odd few things he missed, hadn't been a bad thing. He felt pretty good. "I should listen to them more."

"Yes you should." Susan sipped on her own wine. She had liked being here for the past week, it had been a nice break from her mundane life, not that she hated her life, far from it but it never hurt to mix things up a little. It also confirmed what she long thought and had imagined was going on up here. This was good for them. "I'm a proud Mom right now."

"And mother-in-law?"

Looking over the top of her glass Susan smiled. "Yes. If only."

"Dreams do come true. I'm kinda hanging onto that thought."

He went upstairs and grabbed a quick shower, threw some more clothes into a bag and left again. He had wanted to stay overnight again but Erin insisted that it wasn't necessary. They'd spent last night together and he'd been with her all day. She would be fine and just wanted a good night's sleep.

"Before you go, can I just ask?" Susan stopped him on the way out the door. "Are you okay?" She stared directly at him and didn't let him wriggle off the hook. He was very adept and brushing off people's concerns by making it all about someone else. She had figured him out a long time ago, he wanted people to believe that none of this had been about him when in reality it was very much about him as well.

While women carried the burden of a miscarriage differently and quite rightly so, the grief wasn't theirs alone. Society expected them to get on with it, get over it. 'It wasn't meant to be….you can try again….perhaps it was nature's way of telling you something was wrong…'. Cry for a while and then chin up and put on a brave face. They had certainly faced that attitude already.

For the father, those fathers who were part of it and wanted to be part of it, they carried the grief and the knowledge that they couldn't do a damn thing to stop it, to help or to ease the burden and were expected to accept the pat on the back, a passing moment of condolence and then continue on as if nothing happened.

After the initial moment had passed nobody wanted to hear that you weren't okay, that you still grieved and ached for your child. That you never got over it; you were just expected to suppress it.

"I am." Susan tilted her head and looked at him as only she could. "It's kinda bringing it all back to the surface and we are just trying to breathe through it."

"You don't need to be the tough guy."

"No?" he queried and if he tried to hide the sadness in his voice then he failed. "Maybe right now I do. Maybe it's all I can do."