Well... This was an adventure. Going from severe angst to a gay virgin writing about almost straight sex... I went on a complete 360 here and I don't know what that says about me at the moment lol. Why did I cut off that moment? I kinda felt like this was taking a little too long to write. Also... It felt uncomfortable writing it where I was at the time and I just wanted it to be over with lol.
ANYWAY! I hope you guys enjoy this.
If there was one thing I knew about my boyfriend was the fact that he would rather suffer in silence than allow anyone else to bear the weight of his burdens. Especially when he thinks that the people around him are dealing with enough as it is.
I tightened my arms around him as I heard him whimper within his sleep.
And this was one of those moments I was able to help my favorite little Atlas in his time of need without him being able to fight me on it.
I rubbed gentle circles on his back as he buried his face into my neck. His sleepy voice repeating something incoherent in my collarbone, but I was more worried about trying to soothe him instead of finding out what exactly he was dreaming about.
Even though by the way he's holding onto me, I can probably tell what exactly it was.
"Don't go. You'll-." His voice suddenly silenced himself as I felt him tighten his arms on me.
And that just proved it.
I frowned as I continued to rub gentle circles on his back.
This wasn't the first time Jim has had an episode like this. Nightmares were a reoccurring thing for him and when I asked Douxie about it after the first time I ever encountered Jim having one, he just said that they would range from small nightmares to full-on night terrors mattering on how he was doing or if he was distracted.
But one thing he told me to be careful about was around the beginning of January, they would start randomly getting frantic and reoccurring. Originally, they were just sporadic. They would appear every now and again, but they weren't anything major.
I felt his fingers intertangle themselves into the simple black tank top I was wearing as he mumbled more words into my collarbone.
Now though, I know exactly what Douxie was talking about.
I combed my fingers through Jim's hair with my fingernails scratching lightly at his scalp. His grip loosened just the slightest, but it was still obvious he was in the middle of his dream.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I combed my fingers through Jim's hair as his head rested in my lap. His ocean eyes were darker than normal with red splotches due to the tears that were flowing from them only minutes before, but he still looked up toward me with the softest gaze imaginable as I watched him contemplate his options within that moment.
"Not really. But you've always been so honest with me with everything no matter how difficult it was. I can't just-."
"You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to." I smiled down at him as I scratched lightly at the top of his head. He closed his eyes for a moment before releasing a content sigh.
"Isn't that my line?" He opened his eyes slowly as a small smile danced across his lips. Despite the scars dancing across the bridge of his nose, down his cheek, and across his eye, he looked as fragile as glass within that moment.
"A relationship is a two-way street, Jim." I raked my fingers through his hair once more as his smile just widened. "You need to be taken care of too." He closed his eyes slowly once more as he leaned his head back further into my thighs. He seemed to be searching for the right words to say, so I just sat there silently as I waited for him to gather what he wanted to say.
"I told you about my godfather Vendel, right?" I hummed in reply as he opened his eyes slowly once more. "I don't think I ever told you about Draal."
"Draal?" I tilted my head a little as the very unique name fell from my boyfriend's lips. I knew his "family" had a thing for unique names, but this hit the nail on the head.
"My godbrother." My eyes widened a little as that was the first time I had ever heard of Jim having a godbrother. I knew of Vendel from stories Douxie would tell me of his, Jim's, and Toby's adventures growing up, but I never heard of the name Draal a single time. "I met him for the first time when I was seven. His dad was a really close friend of Vendel's. He died a few weeks earlier and since Draal had no other family to take him in, Vendel decided to adopt him himself."
"So he was like an adoptive cousin kind of ordeal?" Jim just nodded his head before continuing.
"He was a little standoffish at first, but we learned to get along over time. I still cared about him like a brother and we ended up training together, but we always had this tension between us. Especially when Vendel died. It was like we were fighting for his affection and I didn't even know it." He let out a soft chuckle that sounded both broken yet heavenly at the same time. "After he passed though, I think he realized rather suddenly that I never wanted that for us. We grew closer at that. He even helped me set up the original training space I had in my mom's basement."
"I feel a 'but' coming along." I smiled as he let out a soft chuckle.
"But," The happy look that took over his face as he was laughing suddenly faded as a soft frown took over his lips. "He got wrapped with the wrong people when he got into college my junior year. Specifically, this older guy named Gunmar, his son Bular, and this girl Nomura. Gunmar was the leader of this crew called the Darklanders and somehow talked Draal into joining it. Knowing the asshole, he probably used the fact he was in the same platoon Vendel was in when they were both in the army and that Vendel would have wanted him being taken care of by an old friend. I wouldn't run it past the sick fuck to do so." He growled out his words before letting out a sigh.
"I'm guessing hanging around those people changed him?"
"More than just changed him. Gunmar would manipulate him to do his bidding, Bular would let his daddy issues get the best of him and then take it out on Draal in return, and then Nomura," He stopped for a second as he took in a deep breath. "Nomura was the one trying to get him out of it. At first, she never cared for Draal. She thought he was just another kid her age they recruited to toy with and ditch before they became a reliability. But she ended up telling me several years after everything that she found herself falling for him. She tried her damnest to get him out of it, but-."
"Yeah?"
"We were too late." He looked up toward me with a broken look in his eyes. "He went missing one night and I was worried about him. I had this tracker thing set up between our phones since I was always worried about him just disappearing one day due to Gunmar's fucked up ways, so I tracked his phone to this alleyway in the heart of Arcadia just to be greeted by the sight of him laying a pool of his own blood. A bullet shell to his right as his face was swollen all to hell. There wasn't anything I could do for him. He already lost too much blood by the time I found him and his normally dark skin was this ghostly grey."
"What did you do then?"
"I held him. I held him as he kept muttering the words "I'm sorry" to me as if it was his fault that he got shot in the back by some asshole." He turned his attention up toward the ceiling as his eyes glossed over. "I remember everything from that night. The way the sirens wailed from up the street. How his voice was barely above the sound of pattering raindrops that were bouncing across the concrete. The way he went limp in my arms before the ambulance I called for even reached the street we were on. Everything."
"And that's what you keep having nightmares about?"
"Always." He gave me a weak smile before continuing. "Having someone that was the closest you had to an actual brother family-wise die in your arms half past midnight in the pouring rain can be just a little traumatizing."
"Whatever happened to the people that caused it?"
"The shooter was found. Was this young kid that was just doing as he was told, supposedly. The Darklanders got dispanded because it was the first time someone died in their crew and it actually caused a commotion. I think I even actually saw it get covered on the news unlike some of the other shit they got away with. Gunmar got caught for something two years ago. Bular's doing something with trying to get his dad out of jail."
"What about the girl? The one trying to help Draal out?"
"Nomura actually works at the museum. I check up on her every now and again. Especially around the anniversary of his death. Last I knew though, she's been doing well for herself."
I smiled as I remembered the caring tone in his voice as my mind brought its attention back to the present. I felt him jolt a little against me as I knew instantly that he woke up from the nightmare at this point.
"Claire?" His voice was soft as I just continued to toy with his hair.
"You're okay, mi amor," I whispered softly to him as I felt him bury his face deeper into my neck. "You're okay." He sniffled a little as wrapped his arms around my waist. His forearms lifting me up slightly off the bed before resting me down on top of them gently. I leaned my head up and placed a soft kiss on top of the mess that was his bed hair as he let out a soft chuckled against my skin.
"You know. I was worried for a moment there." I tilted my head a little as I leaned my head back onto to be greeted by his ocean eyes staring up at me.
"Why would you be worried?"
"The dream changed this time."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not yet." He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to my jaw before burying his face into my collarbone. "But let's just say I'm fucking ecstatic you're still here." I giggled a little at him as I laid my head against his.
"You know I won't leave until you wake up." I scratched my fingertips at the back of his head as I felt him shake his head a little.
"Not in that way. But I still rather not talk about it." I felt my eyes widen as I realized what he meant.
Oh.
He dreamt I-. No wonder why he was more clingy than normal.
"Yeah. We can ignore that one for now." He laughed a little against the skin of my neck once more as I just tightened my grip on him.
"Sorry."
"You have nothing to my sorry about, Jim. Nightmares happen. They're apart of healing." I smiled as he brought his head up once more. "At least that's what this really cute guy told me once."
"Oh yeah?" Jim smirked as his eyes met mine. "Tell me more about him." I giggled as I brought both my hands to his cheeks.
"Well," I rubbed my thumbs on his cheekbones as he pushed himself up to eye level. "He's really strong for being able to deal with so much that he does. He loves his family and friends with everything that he has within him."
"Sounds like a really cool guy." I hummed as he brought his forehead against mine.
"And I love him more than anything."
"I have a feeling that he feels the same way." I felt my heart skip a beat as our noses brushed against one another.
"Oh yeah?"
"I can prove it." One of his arms pulled itself out from underneath me so that he could tilt my head up a little before our lips met softly. I slipped both of my hands up into his hair as his hand kept itself gently caressing under my chin. Our lips would only separate themselves for a millisecond before they would meet once more. The kisses we shared were long, but just as loving and passionate as any other one we had ever had before. I felt him lower me slowly back onto the bed instead of being on top of his forearm before his left hand found itself way onto my hip.
"I love you." I was able to say the words in quick succession before our lips met once more. "So fucking much."
"I love you too." I felt his left hand slipped down to the top of my left thigh as he whispered the words against my lips. I felt a chill run down my spine.
"Don't tease me, Lake." He just gave me a smirk before placing his forehead against mine once more.
"When have I ever been a tease?" I rolled my eyes before pulling him into another kiss. My legs making their way around his abdomen so that I could keep him close against me. I felt the weight shift on the bed beside me as I knew his hands were now pressed down on both sides of me. I didn't even notice my hands traveling down both sides of his neck and down onto his shoulders until I was then clutching the cloth of his faded blue t-shirt. He pulled back from me gently before he spoke lowly. "Are you asking for something there, Nuñez?"
"What if I am?" He just gave me a gentle smile before pulling himself back a little.
"Cause I'll do what you ask from me." His voice was soft as I looked over the dilated look in his eyes.
Am I ready for this?
I tightened my grip on his shirt as I swallowed dryly. His blue orbs looking down at me intently as he patiently waited for my answer.
He sure as hell looks ready. What's the harm then?
I pulled at his shirt a little.
"Can you-?" I blushed as I felt like an embarrassed child asking him to take the article of clothing off of him.
"Whatever you want, Claire." He brought himself up to a kneeling position as my legs kept themselves loosely wrapped around him. I watched intently as he grabbed his shirt by the hem and lifted it above his head agonizingly slow. I soaked up the slight details of his anatomy like a sponge though as he brought the shirt over his head.
I knew since the moment I met him that he was a fit guy, but I didn't know the bastard had fucking absfor fucks sake.
My blush only deepened as he tossed his shirt off to the side after sliding it off his toned arms. His muscles were still developing since his abdomen had a nice four-pack that looked as if it was slowly making itself into a six-pack with a little more time in his training room of a basement. His broad shoulders had a decent amount of muscle as I found myself placing my hands upon them to feel the soft skin that covered the toned features of his body.
"You seem to like what you see." He leaned back into his original position as his hands placed themselves on both sides of me. A large smirk dancing across his face as he brought himself only a few inches above me.
"Shut up and kiss me, Lake." He just chuckled as I pulled him back down so our lips could meet once more. My legs tightening around him as I ran my hands over the freshly exposed skin.
How much muscle can a flower boy have? I get that he does boxing on the side, but Jesus Christ.
I bragged my fingertips gently across his skin as I felt him let out a soft moan against my lips.
Oh, I could get used to this.
I felt him lay the weight of him gently against my chest before his hands cupped themselves under my thighs. My eyes nearly shot open at the motion as I ding my nails into the skin of his back just a little bit.
Jesus. Fucking. Christ. I'm going to explode.
Jesus fucking Christ I'm going to fucking explode.
My heart was ragging within my chest as my lips kept meeting Claire's in a soft yet rather hungered kiss. Our tongues meeting every once in a while as her hands traveled over my skin. I had the soft skin of her thighs within my palms, but I knew I wanted to explore more than what her sleeping short allowed for me.
I'm going to fucking lose my mind.
Suddenly, she pulled back and sat up a little. Before I could even ask her anything about what she was doing, she pulled the thin tank top she was wearing up and over her head before tossing it over the side of the bed. I blushed at the sudden confidence the woman had as I glanced over her newly exposed skin.
Yep. Definitely going to lose my mind.
"Liking what you see, Lake?"I swallowed dryly as I felt all the confidence I had before fade right out of me.
And I was the tease.
I keptmy eyes on hers as I leaned back down and placed a quick kiss to her lips.
"You're beautiful." I glanced down to her exposed stomach where I placed a gentle hand across where I knew scarred skin was hiding under the vibrate displays her tattoos covered them with. "More than you'll ever believe."
"God I love you." I just smiled at her reply as she pulled me into another kiss.
How can someone's skin be so soft?
I nearly chuckled at the single thought as I brushed my hands up and down Claire's sides. My thumbs grazing the sides of her already exposed breast as I tried my best to not show the internal panic I was processing.
Like seriously? She's fucking perfect. Even her scars are beautiful. I bet they were even before she covered them. She would be able to make that possible.
I felt her hands slip off my shoulders before they reached down beside us to toy with the drawstrings of my sweats.
Fuck. This is seriously happening, huh? This isn't a dream, right? Not some fucked up simulation that I'll wake up from any moment now?
As if reading my mind, Claire pulled back and pressed her forehead against mine. Her gentle voice cutting through the night silence with ease.
"Are you sure about this? We can stop here if you're not ready."
Not ready? I think I've been ready for a few minutes now, darling.
I glanced over toward the clock resting on Claire's nightstand to see the number 3:05 glaring back at us.
"Do you think we'll wake up Douxie?"
"Is it wrong for me to not give a fuck?"
"Honestly," I brought my attention back down toward my girlfriend as a smile danced across my lips. "I'll wake up the whole neighborhood if you wanted to."
"If you think you can make me scream like that, I'm all fucking for it." I felt a blush take over my cheeks. "You're too innocent for your own good sometimes."
"Not a bad thing, right?"
"Not at all." She wrapped her hands around my neck before pulling me down to kiss my lips once more. "Even then," She spoke softly in between soft kisses. "This is all about just feeling." I felt her right hand press itself firmly on my chest as a wicked smile took over her face. "Just don't think too much and you'll be fine."
"You sure?" Her legs adjusted so that her knees were holding me in place before suddenly flipping us over so my back was now firmly pressed against her bedsheets. I looked up to her with wide eyes as her hands placed themselves firmly on my chest. A wicked smile was taking over her face which I couldn't pull my attention away from even though there was a certain sight not too far away that any other guy would be gawking at.
"Most definitely." Before I could even think, her lips caught mine once more. She laid herself gently on top of my chest as our bare skin pressed together.
I can't get over how soft she is.
The thought entered my mind as my hands trailed up and down her skin as if this would be my first and last time doing so. I even found this little dip at the bottom of her spine that was adorable as fucking hell. Especially when she shivered as I traced my fingertips along it. One of her hands suddenly left my chest before I heard her rummage around with something within the draw of her nightstand. I didn't give it much thought as I decided to take the opportunity to kiss along her jaw and neck. I pulled her as close to me as possible as I heard the crumpling of plastic close to my head. Her other hand going into my hair.
I wonder if I-?
I decided to nip at her skin as I heard her take in a sharp breath. Her fingers now tugging at the roots of my hair as a smile just took over my face.
Well, that answered that question.
I nipped a couple of times at her skin as well as placing several small kisses along her neck and collarbone until I was on the other side of her neck once more.
What if I do this?
I sucked a little at the skin this time as it caused a soft moan to escape her mouth.
"Christ, Lake." I just smiled against her skin before biting at her skin once more. I felt a shiver run down her spine before I decided to slip my hands from her lower back to her hips. I felt her rock against me suddenly as it made me like out a gasp against her skin. I wasn't sure exactly why this caused a sudden warm pool to settle within my stomach until I realized what exactly she was using against me at this moment.
Fucking hormones. Fucking body going against me. I want to enjoy this a little longer, you prick.
I pulled her down into a heated kiss as my brain nearly went numb.
I don't want this moment to end. Not for the rest of eternity. I can get lost in her forever.
But fate always seems to have other plans for us.
"Hey guys, I heard weird noises and I wanted to- SWEET FUCKING JESUS!" Claire let out a sharp scream as I grabbed her covers to help cover her up before her brother saw anything.
"DO YOU KNOW HOW TO FUCKING KNOCK?!"
"DO YOU KNOW IT'S FUCKING THREE IN THE MORNING!?" I stayed quiet as I was more worried about covering my bare chest instead of joining Claire in yelling at Douxie. "Isn't my fault you two decide to get freaky on a fucking Tuesday night! Don't you both have work tomorrow? Damn you two have terrible timing."
"STILL! Fucking knock next time!"
"Oh I will, that's for sure." Douxie gave a disgusted look as he glanced between both of us. "But you two horny fucks should go the fuck to sleep. By the way, these walls are thin as hell. Next time the two of you decide to go all out like that, do it when I'm not sleeping right next door."
"Douxie!" I chuckled a little as I saw Claire grab one of the few pillows from behind her and threw it at Douxie's head as the punk just retreated with a hearty laugh. She pouted as the pillow just thumped against the back of the bedroom door as he escaped from her wrath for the time being. "Fucking prick." I laughed a little at her anger as I just reached out and wrapped my arms around the fuming woman.
"Maybe he's right, Claire." I placed a kiss on her neck as I pulled her down onto the bed with me. "We've got early mornings for the both of us anyway."
"Doesn't mean I'm still not fucking livid."
"We'll get our chance." I placed my lips against her cheek this time before she ended up laying her head onto my chest. "We just gotta have better timing next time."
"As long as there's still a next time," She nuzzled against the bare skin of my chest as her hair tickled my skin just the slightest. "Then I guess it's alright." I just chuckled at her as I laid my head against the now single pillow resting on her bed.
"There's always a next time." I rested my arms around her waist as a smile appeared on my lips. "Goodnight, Claire."
"Goodnight, Jim. Love you."
"Love you too." I closed my eyes gently at this point as felt the excitement of the moment leave me suddenly.
Well. Hopefully, next time won't be as unexpected.
I laughed a little to myself before sleep took me slowly within its grasp as another single thought took over my mind.
And hopefully the excitement my body still feels right now will just go away.
Probably not though, but that'll be something Jim of tomorrow can deal with.