Chapter 16

After the surgery Hinata woke up alone, confused, scared and in a lot of pain.

The Fox had been allowed to see her after a day or so and had filled her in on what was happening. She was told that the surgery took many hours and that she had barely made it out alive. They'd had a hard time reviving her due to the multiple organs that had started to shut down due to blood loss and it was a miracle that she had pulled through.

Hinata had to stay in Kirigakure for two more weeks recovering. In that time period the reason they had come to Kiri as well as their secondary mission had become common knowledge amongst the people here. Hinata was even visited by the Mizukage over that time and the Kage ensured that she received the best medical care Kiri could provide.

She was grateful that Kakashi had saved her life, she was indebted to him really. Logically she knew that he'd had to leave her behind to go finish the mission and to aid the Hokage. But it still hurt to wake up without him here.

The first few days she had irrationally shed more than a few tears missing him, but as the weeks went by she resolved herself to the fact that he had at least left the Fox behind to look after her. It wasn't like they were actually engaged or anything. He was just her Captain. Yes... the lines had started to blur for her a bit over the last few weeks. She thought the proper term for this was a crush. She had started to develop a crush on Kakashi, but... waking up here without him had been quite the wake up call.

Strangely enough Ryoko had started to visit her after the situation with the coup was under control. At first he had visited to make sure that she was okay, but over time it had translated into something a bit more, it seemed to her that he might be pursuing her romantically… as Kakashi had predicted. Over that time she had also gotten a chance to talk to him about the book she found at his grandpa's house.

FB

"Actually Hinata… I planted it there hoping that you would find it".

"What… but how did you know I would be looking for it?"

Ryoko laughed almost as if this information should be obvious. She smiled patiently waiting.

"Well Kakashi being engaged to you didn't really make any sense… and neither did the story of your engagement I heard from Ariko" Ryoko said thoughtfully, "I had a feeling it was a cover and that you were here because of the unrest that was going on. Of course I knew a coup was underway so it was easy to put two and two together. You both did a good job of pretending to care for one another but at the end of the day… you never actually went out on any dates to explore the city while you were here. I know you haven't gotten to experience it… but this is actually a fairly romantic city Hinata. Plus what kind of man in his right mind would let you travel to another village alone with a single eligible man"

She gasped in anger and seconds trickled by before she was able to bite out, "A man who trusts me!".

"Anyway… I have spies everywhere. My father was part of the coup, but I don't agree with his line of thinking, I want peace. That is the only way Kirigakure is going to prosper and advance. So I had my own agenda from the start, once I figured out you two might be up to something I planted that book for you to find. When It was gone in the morning my suspicions were confirmed".

"Why didn't you stop your father yourself?"

"The five families exert quite a lot of power, I wasn't sure how this would all play out. I was always going to ensure that the Mizukage was safe, but you and Kakashi stuck around her all day Monday anyway. So I figured you two were onto what was going on…" he looked at her with a relaxed smile.

This was not the same man she had come to know. He had pretended to be a kind yet oblivious and pampered boy… but instead he was a man who seemed to live and breathe strategy. It was a little scary. It was clear he had been watching her closely over the last few weeks… thank god his alliance hadn't been with his father. Or all the work they had put into this cover would have been blown long ago.

End of FB

Initially after that conversation she had been a bit weary of him, but he relentlessly pursued her anyway. It turns out he hadn't been feigning his interest in her. He bought her flowers and visited her every chance he got. Even Rukia came by to see her a few times. The political situation in the country was fragmented and Ryoko was busy with the rebuilding efforts of the city, so she was flattered he made time for her at all, all things considered. But at this moment in time she had too many other concerns in her mind to think too hard about what his attention could mean.

After she regained her mobility she had visited Zima a few times. The situation in the slums was dire, police had cleared out a lot of the mercenaries. But this meant that the children didn't have the support they used to depend on anymore. Hinata didn't know where Mauri was either, the best case scenario would be that she had gone deep into the mountains or perhaps left the country.

After a few chats with the Mizukage, Hinata had been able to help arrange some temporary help for these orphans. She had even donated some of her own money to do it. Mei-sama had promised as they rebuild the country, they will be looking at actively addressing the economic disparity in these lands and providing better social support for the people who needed it. Despite all that she was still feeling unsettled. After some deep reflection Hinata started to consider taking on Zima as her ward.

Zima was a kind and intelligent girl and she had made a deep impression in her heart. She couldn't imagine leaving her behind and not knowing how things were going with her or how she was progressing in life. In addition, it wasn't unheard of for clan leaders to take on wards. She wouldn't be raising Zima directly, but she would be involved in her upbringing. Fortunately once her mind was made up, she had been able to become Zima's guardian in a short time due to Konoha's budding relationship with Kirigakure.

Hinata was cleared to travel once more in a few days and she sighed in relief. This was one adventure she was quite ready to put past her. After travelling at a leisurely pace, the group (Hinata, Zima and Fox-san) made it back to the Hidden Leaf in about a week and a bit later. It was late at night when they arrived and Hinata revelled in the familiar feeling and stillness of her home country. It was good to be home. Zima was looking around the city curiously. This journey had been a lot of fun for her and the girl had started to become more and more animated once she got used to her companions.

After reaching the Hyuga compound Hinata impulsively reached for the Anbu and gave him a big hug. She was indebted to him for taking care of her these past few weeks, she would need to make sure they recognized that as a clan somehow and rewarded him.

Zima and Hinata tiptoed into the main Hyuga compound and she realized that everyone was sleeping. So she quietly had a wash with Zima and they went into Hanabi's room and crawled next to her sister's sleeping mat instantly passing out.

She woke up in the morning to the sound of her sister screaming. Neji and her father along with a few other clan members who lived in the main house barged into Hanabi's room with happy smiles on their faces, already realizing who was home. It's hard to surprise a Byakugan user, she thought in amusement as she was surrounded by her family in a giant hug.

It had taken Hinata a full day of sleep and rest to regain her energy. She'd had to have a long discussion with her family about Zima first of course, but after hearing her explanation the Hyuga family had agreed to take her on as a ward. It was unusual because Hinata was unmarried, but Hiashi was used to his daughter's kind heart and the spine of steel she wielded when necessary to do what was right. This was a promising sign that she was going to be a great leader, the older man thought with a smile.

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The same day - at the Konoha Kage Tower

Tsunade was reviewing a pile of reports on her desk when Kakashi walked in. He was looking more rough around the edges than she could ever remember seeing him. Of course she hadn't been in his life a whole lot until recently, but his recent change in personality had really started to concern her. He had looked like this since he arrived from Kirigakure weeks ago. Something was off with him but she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. Leaving a comrade behind when they were critically injured is rough of course but they had heard of Hinata's stable condition a week after the coup. So she didn't understand why he was still like this.

"Did you hear from Gaara?" she asked the man as he closed the door behind him.

"Yes, we will be dispatching a unit to help the Kazekage apprehend the Kiri spies within Suna".

Mmm Tsunade murmured in satisfaction. Konoha's alliance with the five nations were shaping up nicely. "Did you hear that Hinata got back?" she asked, reviewing the log of Shinobi that had crossed their borders today.

If she hadn't been watching with shrewd eyes she would have missed the micro-movements in his face. The way his eyebrow went up slightly and the way his eyes lit up.

"What!... when?" he asked, walking towards her urgently, "Is she okay?".

This was interesting. Tsunade glanced back down at the log. "Early this morning around 2 AM it seems like. And… I would assume she is okay if she was cleared for travel, but I will personally have a look at her to confirm. Kakashi before we move onto reviewing the status updates you brought along, can you debrief on Hinata's performance from your mission? I felt it was a bit macabre to bring it up before she was safely back within our lands. I read your mission reports of course, but I am interested in hearing about her in particular, I know you had your doubts in the start?"

Kakashi sat in the chairs across from her desk and drummed his fingers on the arm rests. After a few seconds of contemplation he replied in a serious tone. "She performed very well on all accounts. Actually... I would be hard pressed to think of any suggestions for improvements other than she is simply lacking the confidence that comes from experience. For someone who had never gone on a mission of this nature, I would say that her performance exceeded expectations".

"Ah...well that's good to hear, I'll make sure to note that in her file. Not that she's going to stay in active duty for too long… she will become the Hyuga clan head sooner rather than later I have a feeling" Tsunade said as she marked the new notes into Hinata's personnel folder before sliding it into her desk drawer.

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The next morning Hinata left Zima with Hanabi and headed over to the Kage tower. Neji was walking her over and it seemed like he had missed her quite a bit she thought with a fond smile at the taller man next to her. Hanabi had told her, after they received news of her injury Neji had been furious and they had both tried to sneak off to Kirikage to get to her, before being stopped by Hiashi. It had been too high of a risk to have them leave the leaf village as well so Neji and Hanabi had been put under lockdown until news of her safety reached the village. After they got to the tower Neji nodded at her fondly and ruffled her hair before heading off to the Anbu division with his Hawk mask secured on his face.

Hinata walked over to the Hokage's reception area thinking back to the day where she had been assigned this mission. That seemed like a lifetime ago. Within a few minutes Shizune came into the reception area and jumped when she saw her before running over to hug her.

"Oh my… we have been so worried" she said looking her over. "How are you feeling Hinata?". The two fell into a slow walk heading to the Hokage's office while catching up with each other. When they reached the office Shizune nodded telling her to walk in and patted her on the back reassuringly before walking off.

Taking a deep breath, Hinata knocked and walked in promptly freezing when she spotted a familiar tall man with spiky ash blonde hair inside.

Kakashi looked up in surprise at the intrusion. He had been bent examining various documents laid out on the Hokage's desk but froze when he saw her. His face was expressionless but she saw his eyes flicker with some kind of emotion she didn't understand. Apart from that, he looked tired and ragged. He had bloodshot eyes with bags underneath and It looked like he hadn't slept properly in weeks. Before she could even open her mouth her hair ruffled from the speed at which he was in front of her pulling her into his arms.

Her heart melted as he pulled her head into his chest tightly while he hugged her. His warmth and familiar scent seeped into her senses as she wrapped her arms around his torso tight suddenly wanting to cry.

"Thank you… for saving my life," she sniffled as she drew away from his arms looking into his face.

He looked a lot older than 29 years at the moment and the strain of the last few weeks was evident in his face. "Are you okay?" she whispered, reaching out to cup his cheek. It was odd not to be able to see his whole face, but his eyes expressed so much emotion… if you looked closely. She was lost in those grey orbs when he rested his hand over hers gently. A sudden clicking noise of heels in the hallway distracted them and he cleared his throat almost snapping out of a trance. Kakashi was reluctant to move away from Hinata but he took a step back needing some distance to clear his head.

Soon Tsunade-sama walked into the room and stopped in surprise looking speculatively between them.

"I'm sorry I left you behind," Kakashi muttered.

Hinata had to smile at that. She had been mad at first… but she understood he was the second in command for the village. Nothing should stand in the way of a Shinobi's responsibilities.

Before she could replay Tsunade reanimated herself and walked over to give Hinata a hug, bringing her brief interlude with Kakashi to an end.

"We were worried about you Hinata, I'm glad to see you doing so well. Kakashi why don't you go follow up on what we discussed while Hinata here gives me her report?" With that Tsunade briskly walked over to her desk and Kakashi nodded and left giving Hinata one last look. She swallowed her disappointment.

A few hours after her meeting with the Hokage, Hinata was exhausted. Neji was busy for the rest of the day so she went looking for Kiba and Shino to spend the afternoon with. That night there was a celebration between the main and branch families for her return and it was well past midnight when Hinata was all washed up and ready for bed.

Finally having this moment to herself Hinata sat in front of her vanity and started brushing her hair reflecting on the events of the day. Zima has been placed with a foster family in the branch house. This particular couple had been struggling to have children so they had been extremely grateful for the opportunity to have an adopted daughter and Hinata knew that the girl was in good hands.

After finishing up her nightly beauty routine Hinata had just tucked herself under the covers of her bed when the curtains to her room fluttered bringing in some corporeal form with it. She gasped and turned, sitting up with a kunai at hand. The ambush she received in Kirigakure had left a few scars emotionally. She exhaled shakily, calming down as she realized that the person crouched on her bedroom floor was Kakashi.

"What are you doing here?" she asked in a high voice.

He had his mask on so she couldn't read his face but as the seconds trickled with no answer, she realized that he was no longer looking at her face. In fact... his eyes were focused much lower… She took a sudden inhalation of air as she stood up trying to cover herself. She was wearing a long silk ivory slip, but it's thin straps barely supported the cups holding her breasts up and the rest of the gown flowed down to her ankles. Hinata walked over to her closet grabbing a silk robe to cover up before turning around with a frown on her face.

"How did you get past the security?".

Kakashi raised his eyebrow smugly. Without any words he pulled down his mask and was beside her in a flash picking her up around the thighs, lifting her against his chest.

"What are you doing here?!" she asked again, this time in a slightly panicked tone.

"I wanted to welcome you home," he smiled. "Did you bring this nightgown with you to Kiri?" he looked down in interest.

She shook her head shyly as he wrapped his arms around her burying his face into her neck inhaling her scent. She couldn't help the goosebumps that broke out all over her body just from being next to him. She felt herself flush and melt in an entirely inappropriate way, so she removed herself from his arms and walked over to the open window needing some fresh air.

"How are you really?" he asked in a serious tone now sitting on her bed.

"I'm… I'm okay… how are you? You don't look like you are doing okay, have you been sleeping?"

"How could I sleep when I left you like that? I've been counting the days until you got back safely. I felt like the worst Captain in the world".

She nodded understanding what he was feeling "I… I didn't check the suite before walking in… it was my fault" she whispered. "They ambushed me".

His jaw clenched hearing that, "I shouldn't have let you go back alone Hinata, it was my fault".

She laughed out loud at that. "I'm a Shinobi, I shouldn't need a babysitter".

He didn't bother replying back to that, instead he gave her a dark look as if to say he wasn't anyone's babysitter.

"So how has everything been here? Have we been able to find any of the spies?"

"There is an internal investigation launched in all of the shinobi nations, all the Kage's have been briefed and we are making good progress. I'm leading the squad here and we have some solid leads already. If you aren't sick of this mission yet, feel free to join any of the mission teams" he joked.

"Well...I guess that's that. I can't believe we pulled this off".

"Yes, we did, so good work…I'm sorry I didn't have enough confidence in you from the start, that was my mistake. Anyway… I wasn't sure when I would see you next so I came by to welcome you home. I shouldn't linger" he said standing up from the bed dusting his hands. "Good night Hinata" he gave a wave walking over to the window pulling the mask back over his face.

"W-wait" she cried out in a panic now that he was about to leave.

Kakashi paused on his way out and looked back at her. She had wanted to talk to him but… she hadn't really ironed out her thoughts.

"Um" she stammered and he looked at her curiously. "I...wanted to talk to you".

"About what?"

"I know… I know that you told me to keep my feelings separate from this mission. But I just ...I wanted to know… if... um... if at any point in the last few weeks did you feel anything for me at all beyond the feelings for a comrade?" There it was out there. She wanted to crawl into a hole, but... it was out there.

It was almost a bit funny after that watching a haunted look come over Kakashi's face. Wonderful... well that answered that.

"What?" he asked a minute later.

"Never mind, forget I said anything" she rushed forward trying to push him out the window in her urgency to get away from the situation.

"Wait… Hinata" he said, laughing at her attempts to move him bodily away. Kakashi captured her wrists in his hands stopping her efforts at pushing him.

"Don't laugh at me" she cried out.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to laugh" he said with his laughter subsiding but his eyes were still twinkling wickedly. "I...I just wasn't expecting that question" he sighed. "Hinata you don't like me… you are confused about your feelings because of the intimacy we shared. We have good chemistry, it's true… but believe me there is an entirely age appropriate man out there waiting to sweep you off your feet. It… it's just not me".

"That's not what I asked" she said after a few seconds of silence feeling strangely brave for once in her life when it came to these kinds of situations. "I asked if you have any feelings for me?"

He turned somber at that question staring into her face with a dismayed look. He still had her wrists in his hands so she tried to jerk them away but he held them firmer. The emotional upheaval was too much for her and her breath was coming quick and hard with all of these emotions she couldn't name. It was a cross between grief, frustration and anger.

"So do you?" she repeated.

"No… Hinata, I don't have feelings for you. Not like that".

She blinked slowly at him, in shock now that he had voiced it out loud. The pain was sharp of course, sharper than the iron club to the head had been and the humiliation she felt was acute. They stood there staring at each other for a long period of time in silence before he eventually left. Afterwards she crawled into her bed like a wounded animal too upset to even cry.

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Kakashi was exhausted the next day. He had been sleep deprived prior to Hinata's return and now that she was safely here he could relax enough to actually feel the exhaustion settling in. Even though events of last night hadn't been ideal she was home and she was safe. She'll forget about this infatuation soon enough, he was sure of that.

After his work for the day was wrapped up Kakashi made his way over to the war memorial. He wasn't really sure why he ended up here of all places but inevitably as always the gravestone he visited first was Rin's.

The stone was etched with his comrade's name and he swiftly ran his thumb over it feeling the familiar dull pang of loss hit his heart. What a waste of a life.

His relationship with Rin had been complicated. Rin had loved him since they were young and Obito, their comrade, had loved Rin. When Obito died unexpectedly his last wish had been for Kakashi to take care of Rin. As a result of that and the guilt he felt over Obito's death, Kakashi had devoted his life trying to take care of Rin.

They'd never had a chance to get into an actual relationship of course, but he had come to love her in his own way. He was certain if she was still alive they would be married by now. He swallowed thickly running his thumb again over her name. Since her death (and the deaths of many of his loved ones) he hadn't really felt the need to explore other relationships. Caring about people hurt too much. He slid bonelessly into the ground as memories of horrible losses flashed through his head.

He hadn't been entirely honest with Hinata last night. Upon returning to Konoha he'd anticipated staying away from her like he always had. But within her second day back, he had gone to see her like a moth drawn to a flame.

Hinata was young and impressionable. But she was also kind, considerate and an incredibly talented woman. Any man who got to know her would come to care for her, he was sure of it. That must be why he was experiencing these confusing emotions. It didn't make any sense why he was drawn to her like this. I mean he was painfully attracted to her of course, but physical attractions tended to wane and when that was gone what would they have left?

Hinata wanted marriage and children. And even though Kakashi had come to like her, he couldn't see himself turning into a domesticated man. Married life was not for him… so he had told her the only reasonable thing he could last night, which was that he didn't have feelings for her.

What he felt for her was the need to scratch an itch, nothing more. And he respected her enough not to compromise her like that. Shit. He thought to himself running a hand through his hair.

He continued to sit at the memorial site for another hour or so. He knew that Hinata had been strung on by men before and sheepishly he felt that he owed it to her to do better. If he was rejecting her feelings for him, he needed to be straight up with her about the reasons. He needed to talk to her and be honest about all this.