Chapter 13: Change of sentiments
Sir Thomas saw a change in his family with his increase in kindness. He felt very much at fault for not seeing it earlier. For not seeing how much it was needed. The change came with seeing the world differently than he had before. His trip to the islands had been rough on him and much had happened to change his opinions. Tom's illness had scared him immensely as well. His latest blow was in his disappointment in his daughters after spending time in London with them.
Maria was happy enough in her life, but only with her society and friends. There was little love and no respect for her husband. He should have prevented the marriage when he saw her coolness toward Rushworth. He had been disappointed in Julia as well, she had no wish to remain in the family circle and wanted to stay in town. Sir Thomas did not like the example set by the Rushworths and was leery to leave her with her sister as chaperone. He finally relented when his own sister who had no daughters of her own agreed to let her come for a stay. He hoped she just needed time to stretch her wings.
He now understood his error, he had tired to correct the way Mrs. Norris spoiled, and his wife indulged by being overly firm with his children. All it had done was make them hide their nature from him, putting on a show of what he wanted to see. All he taught them was to appear moral when someone was watching. He was grieved to see Edmund taking too much after him in his mistake. Always rigid and judgmental, as if he could change people by holding them to an unreachable standard.
He had sat down with Julia and tried to have a serious conversation about the mistakes he had made, and the fears he had for Maria's happiness. To caution her. He had attempted to extend his kindness to her, by relenting on her wish for the city and some independence. Letting her know he wished for her to write to him as well as her mother. Telling her he could return for her whenever she wished and stressing that she must not stay away for too long as they would miss her presence. It was impossible to know if it helped. She was very much used to demurring to his opinions then doing as she pleased when his back was turned.
Sir Thomas tried to reach out to Edmund as well. He had tried to speak of his mistakes to him, while he listened with an academic ear, seeming to understand in theory Edmund lost none of his own rigid nature. He only seemed to unstiffen for Miss Crawford, and even that was flawed in that he seemed to excuse the parts of her he did not like as "correctable" rather than accepting their differences. Sir Thomas had talked of this with the retiring parson from Thornton Lacy. He had agreed to stay in the village until Edmund had fully taken over. Sir Thomas hoped the man would help him to see that while leading by example was fine, you must also be approachable in order to guide a community.
Fanny and Tom seemed to be reacting much better to the changes in him. Making changes of their own. Fanny was blooming like a flower in the sun. Much of the credit went to Crawford, but she had been so happy for the family support as well. Tom and her relationship was becoming much more like siblings. Her care for Tom during his illness had been so important to his recovery. Tom was becoming everything he could hope for in the next man to take over their family. Fanny had a hard time accepting his kindness at first but was doing better. She had seemed to have a wonderful time on their trip to London. Enjoying the theatre, several parties and shopping for the first time. It had given her an introduction to the society of town without throwing her in for a whole season. She had even found a good friend in the Gardiners' niece. Sir Thomas had made known to Fanny how welcome Miss Bennet was to return to Mansfield. It had taken Tom to finally convince her that it would not be an imposition. Susan was much with his wife and it would be nice for Fanny to have someone with her until her wedding. He could also see the appeal of someone like Miss Bennet for Tom. Her influence would do much to keep Tom in a clam and useful lifestyle.
This had led him to his last kindness once they were back at Mansfield. Susan. Susan had been such a help to his wife, especially in their absence. She had much of Fanny's sweetness but without the harshness of his household making her feel less, a confidence that would do her well. He was allowing all three of the ladies to see more of estate management from the male perspective. Miss Bennet, Fanny and Susan seemed to already have a good handle on a mistress's role. He did not think Fanny or Miss Bennet would need to take on the responsibilities of Master unless some tragedy befell their husbands. Susan was an unknown though. After seeing how little adept Mr. Rushworth was to manage his estate, and uninterested Maria was in it; he knew their steward would always have too much power. He wanted Susan to be able to manage no matter what type of husband she found.
Tom seemed to have a renewed interest in the minutiae of Mansfield and business dealings as he took to helping show the ladies what was done.
Jane's visit to Mansfield park had been much different than she had expected. When she agreed to return home with Fanny to her Uncle's house she expected a quieter more refined version of her own home. A time where she could enjoy the repose of it and escape the bad memories of the recent months. While the quiet refinement was present it had not been as boring as she expected. Despite Sir Thomas's strict view of propriety and wish for his nieces to be ladies, he also wished to have them begin to have a knowledge of business affairs that would not be considered part of a ladies education. She was familiar to some degree as her father had pushed much of his work off on to Lizzie. Lizzie in turn shared with her as they each worked together to do what their mother and father and pushed off on to them. Sir Thomas had made it clear that no lady SHOULD be expected to know these things, but that he had nagging worries. He also mentioned times when a mother must act for her son until he is ready. This made a lot of sense to Jane. Her own father's neglect of some duties drove home the need. How different their fortunes may have been if her mother had a better understanding of what was happening.
Her stay had been more physical than expected as well. A wish to see Fanny exercise back to health, to teach Susan to ride, and for the ladies to see the estate work at hand had led to near daily riding. Jane had learned to ride but never really been free to ride like this. It was amazing to do so. The Crawfords often joined them and made a merry party. Seeing all corners of the estate and surrounding areas.
Though she tried to put Mr. Bingley from her mind entirely she could not help in comparing him to the gentleman she was spending time with. Growing up with her own father's lackadaisical nature as an example she had been to forgiving of it. His lack of concern for serious matters mixed with her tendency to only wish to see the best in people had caused her to overlook Bingley's irresponsible manner. Seeing a sweetness and charm to it. It was harder now to not see that while he was still sweet and kind, the irresponsibility was not a part of that. The Bertram men and Mr. Crawford were all kind and considerate. Tom and Mr. Crawford even often laughed and teased. But they were serious when serious matters were at hand. They could put away their playful nature to deal with tenant disputes, or business issues. She had been contemplating the matter all morning, not realizing how quiet she had been. Seated on a rug in the shade with Fanny and Susan while the gentlemen were looking at a drainage ditch and the benefits of bridging it.
"You have your Bingley face on." Fanny called her from her thoughts.
Someone other than Lizzy knowing what had happened with Bingley was a relief. Fanny was less of a person to categorize things as black and white, good or bad than Lizzy. She understood that someone need not be bad to hurt you. Though the relief of someone knowing also meant Jane could not brush her upset away or hide it as she was used to when it surfaced. "Sorry, I am bad company today. I am not brooding I swear. Just...processing. That would be a good word for it. So much has happened, and it has given me a different perspective on what has happened."
"And what is this new view." Fanny asked
"I was very much an absolutist, in thinking someone had to be all or none in many ways. I oversimplified the people I met into categories that made sense based on the limited society I knew. I knew serious men who were not kind, and kind men who were not serious and mistook that these things were related, not separate characteristics that may be independent of each other. It must have been very different for you being around such people." Jane tried to explain, gesturing toward the gentlemen.
"Oh, Jane. If only. I have known these men who are serious on serious matters and kind and relaxed only as long as you have." Fanny laughed. Jane and Susan both looked rather confused.
Fanny previously had only had a chance to talk of some of the bumps in the road of her and Henry coming together. She told them of the way things had been for her and Mansfield, and the summer with the Crawford's arrival, of her refusal and his changes, and how Tom changed as well. Lastly of how her Uncle had begun to change. "So you see, I am new to seeing this side of them as well. Edmund was kind yet serious, but also more stiff than Tom or Henry. We are always taught to see maturity as a product of age. Like we reach a point, a finish line of sorts and we are then responsible adults. But it is about processing, as you said, taking things in and learning. Age is no guarantee. Some men like Henry's uncle behave their whole lives as boys with their first taste of freedom. Some men have different experiences and are steady and serious from a young age. Some take it too far, never learning to bend. Each of the men here at Mansfield have grown into better people in the last year."
"So you think Bingley will change in time." Jane seemed a little unsettled at this thought. Her old habits nagging at her to give everyone infinite chances.
"We all will. I have changed, you have changed. We will continue to do so. I mean that you should judge him in the now as he is in the now. I refused Henry the first time, because I knew I could not be happy with the man he was. He may have changed even if I said yes, but it was not a risk I was willing to take. I was not asked to honor and love the man he could someday become if everything fell into place. Me refusing him was a catalyst for change. That was not guaranteed, he may have continued as he was. The same is true of Bingley. He is young yet, he may soon grow into a wonderful man, strong in his convictions and upright in his morals. Or he may remain weak and easily led. It is not your place to decide or worry about that, it is his. You can only take him as he is today, and ask yourself if you, as you are today, would be happy with that." Fanny attempted to break down the way she saw the differences and what had changed between her and Henry.
"Thank you Fanny, it does make it all seem much simpler. By always wanting to see the good only I was often giving people credit for potential as if it was character. When that is not always the case. I have also changed much from the person I was a year ago, I fear you are right. The woman I am in this moment would not suit who he is right now. Like two roads that met at a point and then headed in different directions. There may come a point when the paths would meet and run smoothly together again, but I am not going to wait on it. On hope alone." The cloud seemed to lift from Jane with this thought. She may tend agonize over decisions but once they were made she did not worry on them anymore. What would be, would be and she could not control the path Bingley had taken, only her own.
Fredrick was leaving Barton in the morning for Kellynch, leaving with a much lighter heart than his first night there. Everything about the place seemed to exude happiness. He could not be around such kind people, so much enjoying their life and not be lifted by it as well. The finality of Anne being lost to him was something he grieved, but as it was out of his control he was at least able to begin moving on. He had climbed up the hill leading to the wilderness behind the house this evening to enjoy the quiet and solitude, watching the sunset across the surreal place. He must have passed longer than he thought in reflection as Benwick was making making his way toward him.
Settling down on the hill beside him, Benwick was quiet for a moment, then looking at Fredrick. "Do I need to worry about you once you leave here."
Fredrick considered this for a moment. "Truly I do not know. Being here with you all has been like some strange fairy land where I could not help but be happy despite what has happened. But I believe I will be okay. I go to Sophie, then possibly to see Harville again. To be with them is also to be at home. That will have to keep me." Pausing again there seemed a small shift in Fredrick before he asked "How did you do it? How did you move past your love for Fanny, and the pain of her loss in a way that let you love Marianne the same?"
"I did not." Benwick sighed heavily "I did not move past my love for Fanny, or even her death. I will always love her, and always feel her loss. I do not love Marianne the same as I loved Fanny. I do not love her less, just differently. I love you and Harville both as my brothers, but you are not the same and my care for you is not the same. I can love Marianne without reserve despite their differences because I am a different man than the one who loved Fanny. We all change as time passes and things happen. Her loss shaped me as the crashing waves shift the cliffs. Pieces were torn away and a different man remains. I am not less, just different."
"A lot has changed since we first met." Fredrick admitted "I know the man I was then would not recognize us now. I think the same every time new midshipmen set foot on board. It is hard to believe were ever that young and foolish."
"Quit talking as if we are old men, Fredrick." Benwick laughed at him.
"We are far from it, but on days like today it does not feel so. I imagine in another decade we will sit and laugh at what hopeless fools we were at this age." Fredrick laughed with him.
"Probably, Wentworth. Let us return before Sir John sends out the dogs for us."
Edward was surprised to receive a note from his mother demanding his presence again. He had not spoken to her since he had lost his temper with her. He regretted the harshness of his speech but not that he had said his piece. He never wished for a breach of peace with his family, but he would not be led around like a ladies dog either. Edward had returned her note agreeing to meet with her this afternoon.
As he was shown in he steeled his posture to stand before his mother. Greeting her "Mother, I hope you are well."
She sniffed as if to disbelieve his concern. "Edward, it has come to my attention that your circumstances have been noticed by those of our social sphere, and is much commented on. It has reached a point were you must either be severed publicly from the family or something must change to elevate you to a standard expected of our connection with you."
"Mother, while I regret the harshness of my manner in speaking to you, it was not my intent to hurt you, I do stand by the content of the message. I will not marry with a mercenary intent in mind. Nor will abandon my choice to join the church." Edward exhaled waiting for the hammer to drop as it always did when he disagreed with her.
Mrs. Ferrars eyes narrowed with anger but she remained calm. "Fanny and Robert said I could expect as much from you. However, I do not wish the harm of such a scandal, as disowning you would cause, to fall upon them. So I have reached a compromise. Your brother through his friendship with the Rushworths has negotiated on my behalf to purchase the newly vacant living at Southerton. It has an income of around £500 per annum. I will also be bestowing the same £10,000 I gave to Fanny upon her marriage, as well as a small advance to move you back to more respectable conditions. If you wish to act like a younger son you shall be endowed as one."
Edward considered this for a moment. He was upset that his father's wishes were still being disregarded, but in terms of his own happiness this was actually for the best. All he wanted was a quiet country parish and a family of his own. He responded in the tone he knew his mother wished to hear for once. "If that is what you think the right choice mother, I believe it will be best for everyone."
"While I will not prevent you from marrying as you wish, know that you will never be considered what is proper in society without a wife of some standing to ease the difficulties you seem to cause socially." Mrs. Ferrars, finally feeling she had gained her point, called for her lawyer who had been waiting to enter. "Then we need only make the settlements and you can remove yourself from those embarrassing lodgings and back to somewhere respectable."