The Tatterdemalion

Chaptr. 14 – The Hurt Behind My Eyes

A/N…OK, OK! I got a wee bit carried away with this story (Hope I'm not dragging it out?!) and this is obviously not the last chapter. It's relatively short, but I think it just needed to set the scene for the last chapter which will be a long one just to finish it nicely. Stay Safe!

Sheppard and Girvan had spent the rest of their day chatting and getting to know each other a little better. Girvan had filled him in on the early struggles against the Wraith and how Bartok struggled with his responsibilities making Sheppard understand the healer a little more and feeling sorry for the residents of Cuil with the oppression they had had to face but it annoyed him how accepting the flip side of living their lives had proved to be. Sheppard had also started some gentle exercises and was heartened when it didn't hurt as much as he had thought it would so he ramped it up a bit, by running through the forest, until he felt a healthy sweat accumulate on his body and when it started to get dark, he made his way back to the cabin. He was climbing over a fallen log when his 'spidey' sense kicked in and he felt a sense of sorry that he had had to be reminded about that particular sense again. Still, he was alert, so he crouched down low whilst doing a three sixty and thought he noticed a dark shape approach the cabin. It soon became apparent that it was another human being and with the fact that the person was not trying to hide their appearance, Sheppard stood up a bit straighter, but ready to intercept the path towards possible harm to Girvan.

"Stand down soldier!" The figure called in humour.

Sheppard stopped stalking and stood up straight, his head cocked to the side and then as realisation dawned on him, he smiled. "Bartok! It is good to see you!"

"Likewise Sheppard. You have no idea how glad I am to see you alive, much less outside for a walk! How are you? Are you in any pain…" at Sheppard's upheld hand he stopped talking.

Sheppard reached him and they grasped forearms. "Come out of the cold and you can give me a once over, but I am well healer. Thanks to your very capable nephew I might add."

"You look well. What a relief, I have been so worried." To Bartok, his long trek had now been worth it. As cold as it was, he had not felt it, so wrapped up in his haste to reach the cabin by dark and he was only just beginning to realise how tense he had been awaiting the outcome of several weeks of his absence. He could hardly believe his eyes as he noticed Sheppard walk towards him in relative good health, but he would wait until he checked him out to see if he was hiding anything from him; well used to that in patients over the years.

Extra footsteps on the wooden boards surrounding the house saw Girvan fly out the door, dagger in hand as Shepard had shown him, ready to spring a surprise attack.

Bartok took a step back, but Sheppard had his broad hand on his back so kept him steady and ushered him inside, following an apologising Girvan, who had embraced him like the long lost relative he was. Now, suitably warmed up, Bartok would wait no longer to assess Sheppard and almost forced him to lie down on the couch. He dragged his bag over to where he knelt beside him and held onto his wrist whilst he raked about in it until he found all the things he was looking for. He silently watched him for signs of pain and he was either hiding it well or his withdrawal had gone better than he could have hoped. Satisfied he had covered everything he wanted to check, he stiffly stood up and Sheppard moved over on the couch until he was sitting upright and motioned for Bartok to join him.

"Well, what's the verdict?"

Bartok sat down, suddenly feeling drained. Emotions lately, he reckoned, would be the death of him.

"I am pleased to say, young man, everything points to the good. The reversal of the drugs seems to have worked. All your organs feel and sound good. You flinched slightly on your right kidney, is it bothering you?"

"I have a slight pain there." Sheppard admitted rather sheepishly.

Bartok nodded. "Your kidneys will have to be watched in case of kidney failure but all in all I think you have made a good recovery." He took out the small packets of white powder and handed them to Sheppard. "Your total recovery will only go well if you continue to look after yourself. If in pain, please use these Sheppard. Rather the pain is killed, than you! Anything else?"

"No. I'm tired, not quite myself yet but much better."

Sheppard took the packets and swirled them through his fingers, mirroring clone John's actions back at the compound and Bartok couldn't help but feel sad. Sheppard noticed and asked him what was wrong.

"Where to start Sheppard?"

"My clone then? How is he?"

Bartok smiled when he realised Sheppard had understood his sudden down turn so he filled him in on what had been happening since the snows had stopped his visits. Sheppard listened carefully, not interrupting even when Bartok stopped talking here and there. He found telling Sheppard about the decline of his clone distressing and knew in his mind he had finalised his death and that there was nothing else he could do for him. "I don't know where he went to hide. I gave him pain killers to help him cope as much as I could not being with him but…" A sudden tight throat and Bartok gave up talking.

Sheppard, although struggling to have any compassion for the due death of clone John, had it in abundance for the healer and he patted his knee. "Come on, sit by the fire and just shut your eyes for a minute." Bartok struggled up to a standing position and with a slight hand on his elbow, Sheppard guided him to the cosiest chair by the fire.

After their supper, all three talked some more until Bartok called time and went to his bed, totally exhausted from the hike and talking. Girvan was next up to go to bed, leaving Sheppard alone with his thoughts by the fire.

He had been happy with his strength today whilst running in the woods, just a slight twinge every so often nagged at him but he hoped it would right itself soon. It had to, he had to be on top form. The more he thought about it, the more he decided to help out Bartok and the Cuilans, and that meant going back to Atlantis as soon as he could for physical reinforcements and the minds of Carson and Rodney. The Wraith had exploited these residents for far too long now and coupled with their plans for him and the clone for a King! Sheppard shook his head, could this galaxy get any more stressful.

What disturbed him in a big way was, how far these experiments had reached? Had they been taken off planet? With the clone dying, what would they try next? Did they have the means to make another?... Sheppard threw another log on the fire a bit too hard and he looked over to the bed to see if he had woke up the two lying on it sleeping. No-one moved so Sheppard took himself outside to get a blast of cold air to help ground him and then made himself comfortable on the couch but sleep was impossible and his thoughts kept even the slightest nod at bay. Hands clasped behind his head he thought of Teyla, his Imjai, and at last he calmed down.

Soon he hoped to be reunited with her. He just had to get to the Gate first. No problem!

SGA SGA SGA

Teyla had her eyes closed as they flew along in the Puddlejumper, thinking of John and how much she had loved him.

Imjai!

She opened them with a gasp as she thought of his final moments and suddenly felt Ronon's strong hand on her shoulder gently squeeze in silent understanding.

She put her hand up and nodded that she was ok, so Ronon let go of his hold and settled back into his chair. The movement caused Carson to turn in his co-pilot seat and smiled a tight smile at the Athosian. "All right lass?"

"I am good Carson." She looked between Carson and Ronon. "Please, do not worry about me. It is understandable that I…we, are all on edge. Let's just get to the planet and get this over with."

For the rest of the journey, nonsense conversations were started and everyone politely carried on with nods and verbal answers but each one of them was fighting sorrow in their hearts. As hurt as Teyla was for her own situation, she was also concerned for each of her friends in the jumper with her; Rodney the most, as she had never known him to be so quiet. She knew he missed the banter he had so enjoyed with John, it was plain for everyone to see. His sentences were curt, almost competing with Ronon few words, but he also seemed to walk slowly, like he was wading in mud and his mumblings about leaving Atlantis and heading back to Earth, hurt her more than she had thought possible. Their team was down to three and if he left, it would be just her and Ronon and she knew they would be put into a different team and she didn't know if Ronon could accept another leader like he had been able to do so easily and readily with Sheppard.

Still, one thing at a time, and just now she could only concentrate on their mission ahead. After that, she would speak to each one of them in turn and see what she could do about keeping them together.

Time passed and a chime on the console alerted everyone on board with the telling alert that they had reached the planet. Knowing there was an obvious Wraith presence, Woolsey had asked them not to use the gate but to travel there and then set down many miles away from the City and trek back until such time as they were ready to retrieve the remains or body, if it had been left where he fell and was frozen, as the frequent checks they had done on the planet, had shown it to be in deep winter for weeks after they had left.

Carson looked over to Rodney and noticed his tight lipped stare out of the window. Reality was about to kick them in their proverbial butts and he felt it too.

"Right Rodney, let's set down where Woolsey said and take it from there?"

Wordlessly, Rodney nodded and thought about where they were going and felt the jumper respond to his request but it was like he was listening to the others in a dense fog and no matter how many times he would shake his head, his whole being felt compressed and impenetrable. He had never been so lost in his life. Now he was facing a huge mission that would pull at his heart strings and once they got closure…if they got closure, he would seriously consider whether to stay on Atlantis or go back to Earth. It would not be an easy decision to make. So for now, cloaked and flying low he set in the co-ordinates to where they would set down and let that be enough for his over-worked brain to think about just now.

SGA SGA SGA

The Wraith stood just back from the log cabin at first light, the trees affording him the slightest of cover, just waiting patiently for the first sign of stirrings inside. He had followed Bartok at a distance as the healer took no precautions to hide his footprints and when he heard the reunion between Bartok and Sheppard in the open air, he hung back, inwardly growling that Bartok had managed to deceive his Queen for so long. Sheppard looked well, too well and that meant Bartok had managed to supress or reverse the drugs they had worked on for so long to make Sheppard's organs stronger for implant into the clone of Michael/John. His Queen may still be following that path but the Wraith was an intelligent one and he knew that plan was over. The clone had vanished yesterday and no-one knew where he was. A fact that had not gone down well with other Wraiths and most importantly to him, his own Queen. She had struck out at him, in what she saw was his fault in failing to see what was happening in their own compound. Eager to prove his worth to her, he had returned to bring back with him two drones as he knew not to underestimate the Atlantean's fighting spirit; he had noticed it in his eyes on their first meeting. When he had plunged that first syringe into his neck and the man's eyes had held his with a promise for revenge, the Wraith licked his lips in anticipation. Long he had wanted a one on one with the human. The drones could take Bartok but Sheppard was his.

SGA SGA SGA

Sheppard woke up from his sleep and noticed immediately how quiet it was outside. The crows that normally voiced the start of morning were vacant this morning and Sheppard went into full alert. Scrambling up and dressing quickly, he was pulling on his boots when he noticed Uncle and Nephew on the bed stir and Sheppard was quick to place a hand on each of their mouths to muffle any words. Getting their attention and looks of surprise, Sheppard held up his finger to his mouth for them to be quiet. Nodding, they both got dressed and Sheppard pulled on Girvan's sleeve and pointed up to the hatch that was the entrance to the small attic where their vegetables were stored for the winter months but Sheppard reckoned it was enough to also hold the weight of the young lad. Sheppard had spent many hours looking up at it, glad now he had a hiding place for Girvan. He watched as he quietly pulled himself into the small space and handed him a couple of knives and then patted his shoulder in support. "You wait until it has been quiet for the longest time and then, and only then, you make your way down quietly and carefully and run to your Aunts and stay there until I can get to you. Do you understand?" At Girvan's wide eyed nod, Sheppard smiled softly and closed the hatch, walking back down the few steps to look at Bartok.

He was about to motion for him to go to the far side of the room whilst he would go outside to have a look around when the two drones dived through the door with no finesse or thought, just a straight mission to grab the old healer, avoiding hurting Sheppard too much, if at all possible. Sheppard sprang into action, leaping over the couch, he used his momentum to slam into the first drone's chest, as he cleared the door frame. He fell back into the other drone, who pushed him aside and grabbed Sheppard's shoulder in a tight grip as he landed but Sheppard was using all the adrenalin he had flooding his system and pent up anger and immediately he broke free and grabbed the fireside poker in his right hand and turned and using all his strength, slid it deep into the abdomen of the drone who fell to the floor, dead. One down. Sheppard didn't want the other drone near Bartok. "Run, get out of here Bartok, go!" he commanded.

The battle between human and drone continued as Bartok tried to make his way to the only exit, fear made his movements slow and he was desperate to help Sheppard but he was now witnessing Sheppard in action and after receiving a few blows, he slit the throat of the second drone from behind. He watched as Sheppard allowed the dead body to fall to the ground and wipe his knife free of the blood on the drones own clothes. He looked up at him and Bartok witnessed the warrior face of the man come to life. The past few weeks of him fighting for his life, were almost a distant memory.

Sheppard knew that the healer was in shock but he needed him to focus so grabbed his forearms.

"Bartok, there could be more out there. I need you to go now and make your way to a safe place. Do you have one?"

When Bartok slowly nodded, he spun round and ushered for him to get behind him as he started to walk towards the open door.

"No matter what happens next, you do not stop to look back but just go."

"Sheppard?"

"Bartok I don't have time to argue with you. Your people…they need you…more than I do. You have to save them from this dominance. I cannot wait any longer, I'm going now to the gate to get my people here to help you. The time has come Bartok." Sheppard looked at him, hoping he was up to his task. "Courage Bartok…and thank you for everything you have done for me."

"Shep…"

Bartok never got to finish his speech as the next thing he knew Sheppard was being dragged out backwards through the door and thrown a distance into the deep snow outside. He didn't immediately get up and for a second he hesitated but there was a greater task ahead that was bigger than the two of them so with a heavy heart he used the moment to run outside just as the Wraith that had grabbed Sheppard took a leap to land beside Sheppard in the snow, who was trying to stand up.

Bartok took one look of horror and ran away from the cabin, his breath puffing out in front of him as he ran.

Behind him, Sheppard noticed the Wraith he had named Salty, reaching down to grab him. With a sudden surge of energy, Sheppard forced his body up and slammed into the broad chest with everything he had. Salty growled a personal insult that he had underestimated the human's strength. His head connected with some wood when he fell back and he was momentarily dazed. Sheppard took the opportunity to run in the opposite direction from Bartok so he would have a clear path to safety. The heavy thuds of Salty's boots were getting closer and Sheppard could only hope that he could reach the hidden dip he had found yesterday before Salty did. He dodged and jumped over trees and branches, feeling his heart hammer in his chest. The ever present pain in his side was blossoming into a screaming pain almost like being stabbed again and again. A thud to his back and he fell to the ground, winded by whatever Salty had hit him with. For a moment, he could not get a breath but when he saw the Wraith's face loom towards him he willed his body into motion and managed to get his legs up and under Salty's chest and using a move both Teyla and Ronon would be proud of, he hooked his legs into his chest and lifted him up and over his shoulder and head, throwing him down the dip and heard him scream as he bounced his way down the deep ravine that was strewn with broken branches and stubs of trees, long broke off in the storms.

Sheppard lay on his stomach, for now all he could so was try to breath. The fights having sapped him of energy. He knew that with the shaking he was now feeling, the adrenalin that had been his friend was now leaving him at a fast pace, but this was a test of endurance so he forced himself up and dared to look over the edge, cautious in case Salty had somehow broke his fall early on in the descent.

Through the trees and snow, Sheppard could make out a grey clad and contorted Wraith that looked very dead and broken. Not hanging about, Sheppard felt the need to run ahead, west of where Bartok was going, ringing around him, just in case there were more surprises awaiting in the forest and hope the element of surprise was in his favour.

He hadn't gone far when a noise startled him into looking upwards. His heart quickened again but it was nothing to do with running for his life. He broke out into a run, trying to get to a clearing to see if he was right. He tripped, fell flat on his face, jumped up again and continued on in his haste to prove himself right. The noise was above him but so were trees and with him being hidden by the forest, the familiar hum of a puddlejumper as it flew past him, cloaked as it was, flew on its journey, unaware that the very man they had come to retrieve was running directly below them, very much alive.

SGA SGA SGA

TBC

Sorry, I do so love cliffhangers!