Lexa was sitting on her throne and watched the ambassadors entering the throne room one by one. Any of them bowed lightly in front of her to show her their respect, although she knew that they weren't happy, she ordered them in spontaneously that late. But she didn't care. There was business to be done and she waited for this one long enough.
The last to enter was Titus, who was followed by two of her guards she sent to bring him. Titus was making his way up next to her throne when Lexa stood up and raised her hand to stop him.
"Stay down there! Right in the middle!" Her voice was cold and harsh, but she didn't care.
She could see Titus's confusion, although he must know what was coming next.
The ambassadors otherwise didn't and seemed even more confused. They were watching the nervous-looking Titus, standing right in front of them.
"I thank you all for coming. I know it's late but it's something that has to be done!", Lexa continued, and all eyes were on her again. She didn't think that through, her emotions let her to this moment. And they will guide her through this one too.
"There was an incident last few days ago and I didn't have time to take care of it until now!"
She looked around and tried to not look at Titus. She needed to get this done and not wait another week. He meant a lot to her. He raised her and helped her through a lot of hard times, but what he has done can't be excused. He betrayed her, he tried to kill Clarke and although he didn't succeed, he still took her from her.
"We have an intruder around us! Someone who used his position and tried to betray me and also you!", she heard the ambassadors whispering. She continued with her emotionless voice, so they won't see how much his action hurt her.
"A few days ago, Titus tried to kill Klark kom Skaikru! She didn't do anything wrong. It would have been an act of cold murderer only to make things easier for him. Besides that, he wanted to use a gun. A weapon we would never use, just to fool me, us, to believe it was someone from their kru!"
She stopped to give the ambassadors some time to process everything she just said.
Some of them were still unsure what to think about all of that, but others looked at Titus. Their disgust was evident.
"The worst is yet to come." She walked towards the steps and finally looked at Titus. His head was bowed, and he looked at the floor.
"He fired the gun multiple times and the last bullet would have hit me if Klark kom Skaikru hadn't saved me! She jumped in front of me and got hit by the bullet! Otherwise, I wouldn't be standing here right now."
The ambassadors were shocked. Knowing that Lexa would nearly have been killed, terrified them. They weren't always on the same side with her, but she was a good Heda and they liked her. She was better than the one before and at the moment there was no Natblida, that would be better than her. They knew that.
Lexa felt her emotions coming through again. She felt sorry for Titus, she knew he didn't mean to harm her. He wanted to help her not to lose her track, but his way of doing this was wrong.
"Thankfully Klark kom Skaikru survived. She is still recovering, and it will take some time until she is herself again!"
It wasn't true, she will probably never be herself again. She won't be her Clarke again. But they didn't need to know the details.
"As you know those acts were crimes, that must be punished."
This was the moment their full attention was back on her.
"It took me some time to think this through. There were multiple circumstances to consider, but I came to a conclusion I want to tell you about!"
Lexa nodded towards her guards, who went forward and stood behind Titus.
"There is no way I can ever trust him again and that I nearly lost my life showed me that I need to show everyone that those acts won't be tolerated here anymore. Not as long as I'm Heda!"
She didn't wait for any confirmation or objections.
"He will be punished with Pike and the other Skaikru trespassers. He will get his punishment by Klark's family and friends and in the end, I will end his life!"
Everyone seemed shocked, even her guards. She knew it was harsh and maybe too strict, but they didn't know what he took from her.
Lexa looked at Titus, who finally looked up. His eyes were wide opened in disbelief.
"Isn't this the way you always tried to teach me, Titus?"
She tried to maintain strong and hide her emotions. She was angry, frustrated, and also sad, all at the same time and it took all herself control not to lose it. But she couldn't hide a small smile. A smile of satisfaction of finally getting her revenge. She knew it wouldn't bring Clarke back to her, but at least it would help her to get over it.
"Lead with my head and not my heart? So now you will be the final lesson! The lesson to teach me that Jus drein jus daun will always be the only true punishment!"
She gave her guards a sign and they took Titus out of the room. She could hear Titus bagging to rethink her decision. That he didn't mean to hurt her. But she didn't care.
She listened to his voice getting quieter until the room was silent again.
One of the ambassadors interrupted the silence.
"Heda the punishment seems right for anyone committing these crimes, but Titus isn't anyone. He's the Fleimkepa. If you kill him, we won't have any."
She knew he was right, and she already thought about this. It was something she wanted to talk to Indra about, but she wanted to wait until Octavia's return. She needed to help Indra find the next Fleimkepa.
Lexa had heard some rumors about a potential candidate for this position, but she wanted to hear Indra's opinion on this first.
"Don't worry about that. I already have a worthy replacement for him. As soon as the next Fleimkepa will be here, he will be introduced to you. Until then I should try not to die."
She smirked lightly, but her little joke didn't lighten the mood in the room.
"Well if that's all, you are allowed to leave for today." She turned her back to them and walked out on her balcony.
She listened to the footsteps leaving the room. But there was one coming closer to her. She turned around and saw Marcus Kane standing next to her.
"May I speak to you for a moment?", he asked.
She always admired his respect. It seemed he was the only Skaikru person who knew how to behave in front of her. She nodded lightly.
"Do you think this is a good idea?"
Lexa already expected this question to come from him. He didn't like their way of punishment and he tried to show her a different way. Just like Clarke did.
"I know what you are trying to do Kane, but there is no way I will rethink my decision! His actions are inexcusable. Titus served three commanders before me, and from what the commanders told me he did well, but what he did to me, to Clarke, even shocked them."
Marcus still didn't understand how this communication thing between the Heda and the other commanders worked, but it wasn't the right time to ask her about this.
"I know what he did wasn't right, but I think Clarke wouldn't want this. You know how she thinks about this!", he knew Clarke was the only option to change her mind.
Lexa shook her head. "Clarke isn't in a condition to decide what she wants or not, right now. Also, she couldn't change my decision. I have to show my people that I'm not weak and that I don't care who betrays me, everyone trying to will be punished. No matter how close he or she is to me!"
Marcus exhaled louder than he meant to.
"But Heda, I know you are hurt and worried. We will never end the cycle of violence if you continue!"
Lexa looked at him. He went too far. "Don't you dare to try to question my decisions!"
"Abby told me about Clarke and yours' relationship. I know you care for her and the loss of her memories must have been hard for you. But there is still a chance she will get her memories back. Right now, she still hates you just like after Mount Weather, but after that, you managed to change her mind. Do you think that if you kill him, she will change her opinion about you or give you another chance?"
Lexa got angry. That was too much for her. No one was allowed to talk to her like he did. Although she knew he was right. The truth hurt, especially if it was spoken out loud. But Clarke made clear she wanted to leave as soon as possible, so why should she care.
"Kane, I know you mean it well, but you shouldn't talk to me like that. I know exactly what I'm doing and when I make a decision, I stand by it. So, stop questioning me and accept it. You may leave now!"
Lexa turned around and watched the lights in the city. She had enough for today. Too much have happened, and she needed some time to sort her thoughts.
Kane struggled with himself, but decided it would be wiser to leave her, at least for now.
When she was alone, she finally allowed herself to take her guard off. She exhaled and tried to manage her emotions. Kane was right, but it wasn't his business or any others. She was the commander and it was her business to handle them.
Lexa got lost in her thoughts, she listened to the commanders in her head arguing about her decision. Although she didn't care about their opinion, it was better than handle her emotions right now.
Clarke was checked by Abby again.
"Mom I'm fine." Clarke got annoyed. It was like the tenth time in the last hour, that Abby checked her temperature.
"You lost a lot of blood, your circulation isn't stable. I just want to make sure that you won't lose consciousness again!"
Clarke watched her mom, she had some terrible bags under her eyes and she looked really tired. It seemed she didn't sleep for a while, but there was still something else.
"Mom, what is it?"
Abby checked the bandages over the bullet wound and looked up.
"What do you mean, honey?"
Her voice was full of love, but the concerns were still unmistakable.
"Mom I know you. Something is bothering you, and it's not only your concern about my health. So tell me!"
Abby finished with the bandages and sat next to her daughter. She smiled lightly.
"You are so much like your dad. I couldn't hide anything from him, because he could see right through me. Just like you."
Clarke watched her mom and lied her hand on hers and Abby continued.
"Don't you think you were a little harsh on Lexa?"
Clarke expected a lot, but not this. The last time she remembered, her mom hated Lexa.
A lot must have happened in the last few weeks that her mom changed her mind.
Clarke shook her head.
"Mom, I don't remember the last weeks. I still hate her for Mount Weather and I can't forget it."
Abby smiled lightly. "But you forgave her once, maybe you will try to do it again."
Clarke didn't understand why her mom was on Lexa's side.
"Why do you care so much about it. About her? I thought you would be happy to have me back at the Ark?"
This conversation didn't make any sense to her. Her mom would have done anything to keep her at her side. She wasn't happy about her leaving the Ark and staying here in Polis. And now she tried to convince her to stay. It was just confusing.
"Honey, I know it's hard not to remember anything, but it's also hard to remember. You are important to her. She didn't tell me what happened between you two, but she risked a lot to get me here. She was terrified to lose you. I saw a side of her, a side full of love and compassion. You told me about this side of her, but I didn't believe it until I saw it myself."
"She was terrified? Terrified to lose me?", Clarke didn't intend to ask this loudly. She got angry, but this time not at Lexa, rather on herself. It was hard not to remember. She wanted to but when she was trying, she only got headaches.
"Clarke, I know you are angry, but maybe you will give her a chance? Ask her to tell you some things that happen why you were here. Maybe let her tell you how you returned. Let her tell you about every single day you spent here and maybe you will remember some of it again."
Clarke thought about it. Although she didn't want to talk to Lexa, maybe it wouldn't be that bad to remember some things again. Not only what has happened between Lexa and her, although the other memories that might be useful someday.
She nodded lightly.
"I'll think about it, mom. But I'm tired now. It was a long day."
Abby nodded understanding and kissed her on the forehead.
"If something is wrong, I'm in the room next to yours. Sleep well!"
Clarke watched her mom left.
She knew her mom was right, at least she had to try. But it was already dark outside, and Lexa would sleep by now. It wouldn't be a good idea to bother her right now, with all the problems she had to handle right now.
Clarke closed her eyes and tried to get some rest. Her body still hurt a lot, but her brain was working like it was before. There were so many thoughts, so many questions, that kept her from getting some rest.
Slowly she stood up and took her time. She was a bit dizzy, but that was normally, considering for how long she was lying in bed.
Some of her clothes were still in the wardrobe next to the bed and she put a jeans and a wide sweatshirt on, that wouldn't irritate her wound.
Clarke took one step after another, taking her time not to lose her balance. There were guards in front of her room, who were really surprised seeing her on her feet.
"Wanheda is everything alright? Your mother told us you should stay in bed!", one of them asked.
Clarke just nodded. "Yeah, yeah. I was just thinking about something. May you tell me where I can find the commander's room?"
The guards exchanged looks, but the other one pointed at the end of the hell.
"The last door! Should we bring you there?"
Clarke just shook her head lightly, not to cause another headache again. She walked slowly and focused on her steps until she was standing in front of the door.
What the hell was she doing? That was a really dumb idea. Clarke exhaled and knocked.
It was silent and she knocked again.
She guessed Lexa wasn't in her room. Otherwise her guards would be standing in front of her room.
Clarke looked back to the guards in front of her doors, who were whispering with each other and she slipped into Lexa's room.
It was dark, just a few candles were burning around the room. She looked around, but Lexa wasn't there. Maybe it was a good opportunity to try to remember by herself.
She looked around and tried to remember anything, but every bit of this room seemed new to her. Maybe she wasn't in this room before. It's Lexa's bedroom. I private place. What should she have done here anyway?
Suddenly Clarke felt weak. Her legs started to tremble again, and she managed to get herself to the couch, before her legs gave up on her.
It was so typical. Couldn't she fall on the corridor, where the guards would help her back. Maybe they would hear her if she would scream.
Clarke was thinking about her options when she noticed a familiar drawing on the small table in front of the couch. She took it and recognized her style of drawing, but she didn't remember drawing it.
The drawing showed a peaceful sleeping Lexa. It wasn't finished, like if she got interrupted while drawing it and it also had some dried drops on it.
She was sure it was her drawing, she must made it in the past few weeks. So, she was in this room and they were close. Otherwise Lexa wouldn't have sleep while she was with her.
The anger raised in her again. "Damn it, damn it, damn it. Just remember again." Clarke hit herself against her forehead and regretted it immediately, when the pain in her head returned. Her vision got blurry again and she hated herself for coming to this room. She knew she would need to explain why she came here. But for now, she needed to rest.
It got dark in front of her eyes and Clarke fall asleep on Lexa's couch.