A/N: Hello all and welcome to the next chapter of Paradox Effect. So, I am now in my new home in Georgia and I have to say, I like it here better already. Better place for me mentally and physically.

Paradox Effect

Summary: Dying sucked. Dying and being killed by the same teammate again? That sucked even more. Dying and being thrown back into Blood Gulch as a girl? That REALLY sucked. Now, Leona Church will have to deal with Tucker's perverted looks, Caboose's stupidity, and worst of all, Tex's laughter…

*Chapter 31*

When Leona finally woke up after God knows how many hours of sleep, she let out yawn and stretched up. The bright sun was streaming in through the windows of Blue Base and she wasn't afraid to admit she forgot what it was like to actually feel well rested. Lately she had been pushing herself to her limit and she was grateful that she listened to Tucker for once. He was actually right about her needing some sleep.

'One thing I will never admit. Tucker actually being right.' She threw on a casual pair of pants and shirt, poking her head out of her room only to pinch her nose and slap herself to make sure she was still awake. There, in front of her with no shame in the world, was York standing completely naked with a cigar in his mouth and a beer in hand.

"Oh, morning Leona." He waved as if nothing unusual about the situation was going on. "What's up?"

"Uh…nothing…" She tried hard to prevent her eyes from roaming over his toned body. She never saw him bare before so it was certainly a sight to behold. "Um…I'm not still dreaming, right?"

"Sadly, nope," he answered, taking a swig from his bottle and puffing on his cigar. "You have been out for about six or seven hours though, so I'm sure you're still in that state where you're not fully awake."

"That's not what I'm talking about." Leona rolled her eyes and tried her damnedest to look him in the eye instead of eyeing his nude form. "There's, you know, a pretty big problem here." She gestured to him with a blush.

"Oh, this?" York looked down and shrugged. "Meh. The air conditioning makes it a little cold. I promise you it's much more majestic. Stupid hard nipples."

Leona sighed and facepalmed. "York. Why the hell are you naked?"

"I may have lost a bet with Tucker," he admitted. "I never go back on my word, so this is my punishment."

"Do I want to know?"

"We made a bet to see if Church was going to try to kill Caboose when he failed to answer a simple math problem. I said he would and Tucker bet me that he wouldn't. I was actually surprised when Church calmly explained where Caboose messed up."

Leona groaned and pinched her brow, looking away. "Dude, your ass is tanner than my face. Put some fucking clothes on before I make you run laps around Blue Base."

"When did you become a dictator? Come on, aren't we the more free spirited team?" York smirked.

"I'm the captain of this motherfucking team and I don't need Caboose asking me twenty thousand questions later when he asks why there's a strange naked guy in base or why you're suddenly dead because your armor is in a pile," Leona deadpanned. "For the love of God, get dressed. NOW."

"Last I checked, you were a private with a dead captain. That makes you a private. With a dead captain."

"YORK!"

"Fine, fine…" York put his hands up in mock surrender and walked out with a grumble to put his clothes back on. Once again Leona got a fantastic look at his bare ass.

'No, no, no! Bad brain!' She scolded herself for even thinking about that. Tex would kill her. Or encourage it, depending on her mood.

…

"I wish I could go back to sleep," Leona muttered with a sigh. "Fucking hell this team sucks sometimes."

"Well too fucking bad." There was Church. What a fucking ray of sunshine he was.

"Hi Church." Leona yawned. "Is there any coffee left?"

"The fuck do I look like, the goddamn maid?"

"It would certainly explain a lot of things. You were completely fucking whipped. A ball gag, really?"

"Oh fuck you. You let yourself get tied up." Church let out an irritated grumble and looked away. "Anyway are you done napping? Because if I have to listen to Caboose fail to count to ten one more fucking time, I'm actually gonna fucking kill him."

"The fuck are you going to do, shoot him with ghost bullets?" Leona scoffed. "Hi, I'm Casper the Friendly Bullet."

"…okay, yeah, I see your point," Church admitted. "Would you want to assist me in that? Since you know, I'm kind of incapable of doing it myself."

"Sorry, but no. I'm saving him in case we need food." Leona shook her head. "You know, in the unlikely event that we are starving to death. It's good to have options."

"Ugh, I'm in the head of a sociopath." Church groaned and held his head in despair. "Just my luck."

"Oh please. If we didn't somehow split bodies you'd be bitching about your body reeking and not being able to move." Leona rolled her eyes and went to the armory, Church following her behind. "By the way, I heard from York that you were asking Caboose math problems. How did that go?"

"Dude, between the two of us, I never wanted to kill myself more than I did having to explain that ten minus two is eight," Church said with a groan.

"That sounds about right," the blue haired woman agreed, fitting her armor on and grabbing a sniper rifle.

"By the way, you want to explain to me why York is walking around naked?"

…

"Holy shit, are you seriously having a nosebleed? Ha! Get fucked!"

"Fuck off, Church…" Leona grumbled, trying not to blush heavily at the thought of seeing York's ass again.

She wouldn't deny it. He did have a great ass.

Wyoming grumbled as he nearly tripped on a rock, tempted for a moment to shoot at the damn thing. Curse this blasted canyon. He had only landed here twenty minutes ago and already he hated it. The Director was an asshole. So was South for suggesting he come here. Bitch probably wanted him to go insane.

He was near one of the bases in Blood Gulch and it appeared to be the Red Team's. A good place to start looking for his prey.

He began to approach it and was immediately stopped by an armor clad person in pink armor. He assumed they were female and approached them with a friendly attitude. "Excuse me madam, but by any chance have you seen a fellow around here called York?"

"Oh hey, I didn't know there was a new addition to Red Team!" the man exclaimed. "I would have had some cheese and wine set out for you!"

…

"Fuck my life," Wyoming groaned. He regretted his decision to come here already. Shaking his head and refusing to believe that any self respecting man would willingly wear pink armor, he extended his hand. "Let me introduce myself. I am Agent—"

"Donut! What in the blazes are you doing out there!?" an angry Texan accent demanded. "You better not be standing around chitchatting!"

"No, Sarge! I'm just greeting our new addition!" the pink armored man said. "He's from Command, I think!"

Yeah…he was going to go with that. It was much easier to lie and agree with it then actually tell the truth.

"New recruit? I didn't place an order for Grif's replacement yet!" Another of the simulation troopers, this one thankfully clad in regular red armor, jumped down from the top of the base with his shotgun in hand.

When he saw Wyoming, he froze. "Wait a minute…who the hell are you?"

"I'm from Command. I'm here to help your squad and locate someone named Agent York," the British Freelancer answered. "Could you assist me in that endeavor?"

"York? You mean the guy who constantly beat the tar out of me and my men?" The sergeant laughed heartily. "You must have a deathwish, son. I like it. Welcome to Red Team!"

"Wait, I—"

"Grif, Simmons! Show our new addition around!" The sergeant yelled.

Wyoming let out a sigh and checked his pouch for whiskey. He was going to need it.

"Fuck this canyon, and fuck York."

A/N: And so endeth another chapter. Hope you enjoyed and I'll see you later!

-A Lovestruck A2#5371