Stay with me, you guys. I know it's been a long time since I last posted, which I think was Monday or Tuesday. I know where the ending of my story is going, I just need to figure out how to get there. It's gonna be a long journey! And I've been trying to think of different scenarios, and different things to say, but they all end up not following the character's personalities. So, work with me! I am not Stephenie Meyer, all rights to these characters go to her.

Chapter 33: The Room.

They left the clearing together with Bella upon his back, while he ran back off into the brush of the woods. I stood there, hiding behind the tree, unmoved. Bella is riding wolves, especially the wolf that had once tried to swoon Bella away from me during prom night. And Laurent, who had apparently visited and tried killing Bella, over what? What did this have to do with anything? Laurent was a decent vampire, who had partially helped us in factoring James's lethal abilities and his drive for a hunt. Small increments in my mind featured over to Victoria when Jacob had thought of that day in the meadow with Laurent. Small flashes of Victoria running and jumping through the tops of the trees. It would not be too much of a surprise to know that Victoria had something to do with Laurent being here.

I glanced down at my phone, waiting for Alice to give me some kind of notice about her work on catching Victoria's movements, but I suppose she did ask me for a few hours of time to work on it, but I was becoming impatient with time. I needed to know my next strategy, and what I can physically do to keep Bella safe. I started straying through into the meadow where they had left not too long ago. I too walked over the decaying tree trunk that I had ripped out ground just last year to scare Bella away from me. I brushed my finger over it, tracing it as the decaying bark broke underneath my fingertips. I slowly walked over to the middle of the meadow and stood there in thought.

Had Bella moved on, as I had hoped her to? Had she found happiness with my disappearance like I intended. And if she had, why should I feel grief? I wanted her to live a full human life, never missing any experiences. For her to grow old with her family surrounding her, and her husband by her side.

I found myself falling onto my knees on top of the weeds and unbloomed flowers, and then collapsing onto the ground, on my back, staring up at the clouds as the light trickled over my bedazzling skin. I had lied there, heaving out a breath of air that was trapped into my lungs. Sighing over my predicament. I could not leave, knowing she was not safe. Well, I could leave to track Victoria down again, to keep her away and end her existence as she planned to end the life that held the meaning of my own existence. But what could I do? Leave Bella here unwatched as she kept endangering herself around wolves. If only I had not left, had not left her to find a new supernatural being to comfort her. While she must have not known in the beginning, nor had I not either known of Jacob's gene possession to these legends, she still stayed. She stayed anyways knowing that her life was in danger keeping these wolves in it, just like she had kept me in hers.

I had not hated my decision of ever leaving her here. I thought I was being selfless, and doing Bella a favor by leaving her life, but instead, it did her not a thing. I never should have left, I should have stayed and took care of her, and pushed away any danger that came towards her. It should have been me watching her house to keep away the red head. It should have been with me that she was with, instead of in that meadow to her almost untimely death with Laurent. It should have been me who lied in her bed, as she dreamt next to me.

But it was not. It was not me who had protected her over these times, it had been Jacob Black.

I lied there for longer than a brief moment before I heard my phone vibrating in the pocket. I swiftly took it out, and held it to my ear while I laid there on the meadow floor.

"Alice, tell me anything."

"It's strange, Edward. I can see you again, but I could not see you when you were walking nearer to the meadow."

"Yeah, Bella was here with the wolf."

"You saw Bella? With that pup? Edward, you're supposed to keep her away from him, they are dangerous. I already warned her."

"I know, Alice. I know. I have been keeping my eye out."

"You know, when I visited Bella after seeing her jump off the cliff, she said Jacob had saved her. And I acknowledged that maybe it's the wolves blocking my visions, but I was not quite sure. But I think that's what I am sure of now."

"Interesting theory, any reason why?"

"Maybe because I'm not familiar with them?"

"Alright, and Victoria?" I said.

"Little blips. When she thinks of going to Forks, she disappears from my visions, as well. Sometimes she changes her mind and goes to Seattle, or further south of America, but nothing is set."

"Hmm… so can you see her going after Bella?"

"No, because Bella is with those filthy mutts all the time. I can't see anything, Edward. And have you smelled her? She smells like a wet dog, now."

"Great, let me know then."

"Me and Jasper can visit those areas if you like?"

"Not Forks, Alice."

"No, not Forks. I know."

"Thank you," I said to her, softly.

"Anything for Bella, you know that. I want to come home, Edward, we all do. You need to go talk to her."

"I want to come home to Bella, too."

I closed the phone shut, putting it into my back pocket, sighing. My home is Bella, and so far, I am halfway there by being near her. And what am I to do? Go find her, and hold her close to me, and beg for her to be mine again? Of course not. I left her so she could live her human life and be happy. I could not push myself back into hers, not after the horrible things I had said to her. Especially not after coming back and ruining her chances of being happy. I would just have to stand close. I keep reminding myself of that, to stay close. But I want to be closer. I want to hold her, consume her warmth, to see the blood flush into her cheeks. But this was not a time to be selfish.

I went back, running through the woods again. I decided I would run for several miles to clear my head. Clear the emptiness I had felt gaping a hole through my veins and chest. I would run and continue running till I found myself to a stop to finally turn back. I ran through the brambles, not breaking a single clipping under my foot. I climbed several trees to the tip of their trunks, until they spread out in many branches that sheltered the forest floor. I leaped from each branch to the other, and then to the next tree and continued. I jumped through more till I had finally made it to the last tree that ended at the driveway to my windowed covered fortress, and I held myself on top of that last branch before jumping. I stared over the treetops, taking in the view of the long slopes that formed up to higher hills that were encased by rocky structures. The sight of Forks had its own aesthetic appeal, and I can understand why many people stay to call it home.

I left the tree, heading inside the house that beamed sunlight throughout. I decided that I wanted what Bella called, "human moments" and went to the third floor to use the master bathroom. I turned on the jacuzzi, leaving it on an appropriate temperature that was not too steamed for my skin, and lied down inside of the water with the jets on. I stared up at the ceiling, contemplating my future, if I had one with Bella.

Maybe one day my family could come back, and we could all relive our lives and go to college. We could call Alice's forager and give me the finishing grades I need to get into a good university so I could explore the new modern ideas of today's century. I could also search into new medical studies, and possibly help find new cures for illnesses. I could also search into businesses, and maybe form my own business and possibly work privately behind the desk while others run the mechanics for me to preserve my age discreetly.

But these ideas did not appeal to me without Bella in them. Could they be good distractions? Certainly, but distractions have never helped in the past. Especially at the time where I hit the low and had buried myself to keep me away from coming back to Forks to see her.

Bella is young though, and she could be exploring her life and the world, too, possibly relationships. With Jacob in her life, I certainly have to keep my distance, but maybe Jacob is possibly just one of those relationships in your teen years that come and go, whom you move on from. Vampires do not move on, we mate for life, and Bella was my mate. Wherever she goes, I will go. If she did not want me, I would respect her wishes, but never move on. When she passes, I too would pass, just to never exist in a world without her. Where she moves, I move.

I looked down at my arms, and hands. They did not become prune the way that human skin does after soaking for such a while. Our stone-like skin stays in condition, and we do not have the sebum on our skin that repels the water, or the nervous system that causes our skin to swell up. I have thought of this topic before, and how it would work with blood. As blood is our main source of energy that our body craves, I had wondered whether if we bathed in it, if our body would react differently the same way a human does when having rested in water for too long. I definitely would not experiment on the subject, but the thought had crossed my mind before when I had touched Bella's hands after she had sat in the shower for long periods of time.

It was time to get out of the bath, had it now been close to the late afternoon when Bella most likely would be home by now. I got out of the tub, draining the water, and left the house. I headed over towards the tree line that lined the opposite side of her house. Her truck was in the driveway, and I heard only one thought in the house, but as usual, it was very spotty and not open, so Charlie was home. I headed up to her window, peering into it to see if Bella was in her room, and then opened it after finding that she was not present. I shut it behind me and pulled back the chair from her desk, and sat in it, listening to the downstairs conversation. I could smell the lasagna that was put in the oven not too long ago.

"Yeah, so I won't be home right after school, but I'll still be home for dinner." Bella said.

"That's fine"

"Oh, and I think Angela wants to work on college applications this week. She mentioned it at lunch."

"Okay… when?"

"I don't know yet, I'll ask her tomorrow." I could hear Bella continuously tapping her finger on the counter, as if she felt uneasy or unnerved about something.

"That sounds good, kiddo. You're graduating in a few weeks, right?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Did you want to do something for that? I know our place is a bit small, but if you wanted to have a few friends over to celebrate, I think we could work on something."

"No, dad absolutely not."

That was an expected answer from Bella. It was clear by now that she was adamantly against any party gathering, and I remember having to practically convince her to go to her birthday party. I shuddered at that thought.

"Okay, okay. Just thought maybe you'd want to invite some friends over. Big day and all."

"Well, nope. Definitely not…"

So, Bella was working on applications to get into college. I'm glad she's keeping her life on track wherever she plans to go or do with it. I am gladder she is incorporating normalcy into her life and wanting to plan for her future. I cannot help but wonder what her plans for college were. Whether she would stay here or leave to a fine ivy league school that will give her the best education possible. I admired Bella for her brain; she was always very well read and continued to learn new things in class as well as having already known things previously to those courses. Math I knew was never her own strong suit, she struggled in it, but she proceeded to get a tutor to better educate herself for her grades. I know she would get into a great school they would be lucky to have her.

Their conversation became silent after that, and I could hear Charlie getting up to turn the television on, and then I could hear Bella getting out of her seat and walking upstairs. She must be coming into her room, so I got out of her desk chair, moved it back to its proper place and slipped myself into her closet and cracked the door as she had opened her bedroom door open.

I could hear her walking in and pacing herself around her bed until the squeaks of the mattress signaled that she was on it. I had wondered what her silence and brief discussion with her father was about, and what was on her mind. Had something happened today that unnerved her, causing her anxiousness as she seemed to be tapping her foot. I then heard the tapping stop as the squeaks lightened up again, signally that she was up, and her footsteps went near to her dresser. I could hear her opening it. I looked through the crack of the closet door, staring at her, and watched as she pulled the box of the things, I had left to her out of the drawer. I could see her standing there, her body motionless as only her fingertips glistened over the tops of the items in the box. She had laid her eyes on the photos of us and then grabbed the CD out of the box that was filled with my composers and put the box back into the drawer. She walked over to her CD player, putting it in, and hovered her finger over the play button until she decided to listen to it.

The notes played Bella's Lullaby. The first composure I had burned onto the disc. I closed my eyes, holding my hand against the closet door, in a way to feel the aura emitting off the worship I put into that song for her, to feel the warmth she was feeling. I could hear the bed squeaking again, and I had opened my eyes to see Bella lying on top of it. Her breathing was off, but full, as she held the air into her lungs and expelled it again. She held her arms across her chest, staring up at the ceiling. She looked so beautiful. Her hair was a little windblown forming tangles at the root of her hair, but she looked like my Bella. The Bella that waited on that bed each night for me to return to her window and be with her as she slept.

Here I am Bella, and I'll do so as long as you are in danger. I will keep you safe.

As the composer halted at the end of the song, Bella leaned over again, clicking the back button on the CD playerto listen to the song again. She had returned to her position with her back leaned back against her pillow and continued to stare at the ceiling. The corners of her mouth twitched downwards, and the balls of her fist clenched, and continued to unclench, and return back to a ball. I could see her now roll over to her side, pulling her knees into her chest, holding her thighs close to her. I could see a small shimmer as a tear rolled down her cheek. For what reason would she be crying? Regret is something I assumed again. Regret to have ever met me, to have ever let me walk into her life, or to have ever spoken to me. She knew I brought danger to her life, causing her to lie to her parents about the accident in the ballet room with James, having vampires watch over her dad so he would not get hurt, and then having my own brother force himself at her when she got a small papercut on her finger.

A paper cut should not launch a human at anyone, unless to dramatically grab a first aid kit. No, only a vampire would launch themselves that measurable at a human over a small amount of blood, and I had put her in that position. I had helped convince her to come to that ridiculous party that Alice wanted to throw for her, and I should have been more courteous over the idea of her fragile skin and known that she should not have been the one to open wrapped presents in a room full of vampires. I should have thought about paper cuts, and I should have been the one to open it. Better idea, I should not have involved her in a life that was full of vampires in the first place, let alone one as new to the vegetarian lifestyle as Jasper was. My ignorance got the best of me and it had put Bella into harm's way. My fault, and so I had left. Left her here in Forks to live a life that no longer had my existence weighing hers down.

I could hear the notes come to an end again, where she had replayed it again. Oh, Bella. Why torture yourself this way with the thoughts of me ruining your life. I deserved it; I deserved to be thought of in that way, but she did not deserve to be reminded of it. She did not deserve to feel this guilt that I had inflicted on her and I did not know how I could help her. I want to help her. I should leave again and track down Victoria. I should not be here, but I need to be. I need to see her, to protect her. And that's what I'll do.

The repeated composures tore into me, as it continued for the twenty minutes. Luckily, she had finally skipped over the song, and the next composure began to trill through the speakers. It was the song that Esme had loved hearing me play. A song I had composed to make Esme smile when she heard it. How I missed my mother, and all the love she had for me. I missed her care, and the way she looked at me with pride. The way a mother looks at her own son. I did not deserve Esme right now either though. I did not deserve that motherly embrace she gives on my sorrowful days. The days I wrongfully pity myself, when I have no redemption to pity myself for.

The music finally stopped as she turned the CD player off. She got up out of the bed, heading downstairs as the smell of the cooked lasagna filled the first floor of the house. I could hear Bella pulling it out of the oven. I heard Charlie walk into the room, and Bella prepared another side course for the meal in a bowl, and she served the lasagna to the both of them.

"It smells, and looks great, thanks, Bells."

"Dad? I'm dating Jacob Black." Bella said to him, with no hesitation. It was an immediate response to him, that held no warning. I wondered if this was what she was thinking about this whole time, and not so much of me. Thinking about how she would tell her father that she was dating the boy who was the son of his best friend. Charlie did not speak for a brief moment, and words went through his head that were not very clear to decipher.

"He's a little young for you, isn't he?" Charlie said. I'm glad he's acknowledging the adolescence of this boy, even though he does not fully acknowledge the reason that I had found a problem with him.

"I mean, just by two years…Besides, you like Jacob."

He grumbled a little bit before speaking, "He's a good kid. Thought you two were just friends."

"We still are friends, just… more than that… I'm not sure we are actually dating, though."

Bella was not sure of her own relationship with Black's kid. Interesting.

"So, did this happen during the time he was with Malia?"

"They weren't serious. And she never called him."

"Okay, I'm just saying, you're a nice girl, Bella. And taking someone's boyfriend isn't like you."

"I didn't take someone's boyfriend. I don't think they were really together."

"Alright, Bells. So, what time will you be home tomorrow?"

"After I go to the Fork's newspaper and ask about volunteering. So, before dinner."

"Alright," Charlie replied, coldly to her.

Malia? Who is this Malia girl, and what did she have to do with Jacob? I assumed she was Jacob's girlfriend, but Bella did not seem too sure their relationship was real. Interesting of her father to acknowledge Malia.

Bella also had mentioned going to the Fork's newspaper for volunteering. How extraordinary she was to be working on her college applications, to liven them up with volunteer work. I wish I could talk to her, to ask her what she was interested in studying. Possibly something to do with writing, maybe being an author, an editor, or a publisher. Maybe journalism was something that went through her mind. And she had these choices, because I had left her. She had these options to go to school, meet new people, work on these options and go to school because I was no longer around. Her life kept going on, without me, and that is all I wanted for her. To live her life as if I never interfered with it in the first place.

I could hear the television going on downstairs as Bella watched with him, and then had gone to the kitchen to clean up. She then headed upstairs back to her room and sat over to her desk to work on a paper she was writing for a class. She kept scuffing her hands through her hair, scratching her scalp as she typed on the keys with her right hand. She repeatedly hit the backspace key in frustration. Oh, how I wished I could exit this closet and come over there, just to help her. Give her some possible ideas and let her use them if she found them fitting. Just to hold her and wrap her back into my arms. But, alas. I could not. I could only stand here and hide.

After quite some time, she had turned the monitor off. She grabbed a small and sort of tight tank top from her dresser. She began to undress, and I turned my gaze away. I could not look at a woman who was taken, not in that way at least. Taken by a wolf pup; how I wished this would be one of those high school crushes that would end blissfully, but then again, heartbreak was not something I would enjoy seeing on her face. Maybe I did wish for them to have a happy life together, as long as she was happy, and safe. She got fully dressed and brushed the knots out of her scalp and slipped under the covers in her bed. She went to turn the light off on the nightstand, but first she had clicked the play button on the stereo, listening to the composure.

She laid her head back on her pillow, looking up at the ceiling. I longed to be there, next to her on the mattress cover, facing towards her as she looked at me. I longed to run my fingers through her brunette hair, to run my fingers over her skin causing the small swells to peak over. She then turned herself over, facing the window, looking out at it. Her eyebrows furrowed for a small increment causing her lips to pucker out. She pushed the blanket off of her, getting herself out of the bed, and headed towards the window, opening it.

Was this an invitation? And for whom? Had the music in a way forced a sense of nostalgia from her and had her leave her window open in interpretation for me to climb through it. I am here Bella. I am here along as you need me to be, I will always keep you safe from now on. I am so sorry I was not there, and I am so sorry for leaving you unattended. But again, what if this invitation was not for me?

I had waited there, motionless as she walked back to her bed. I had hoped this invitation was not for Jacob Black, for I was in a tricky area to flee from the scene. My scent no doubt was now lingering in this closet. For what was I supposed to do now? Wait, was all I could do at this moment. She had climbed into the comfort of her bed and covered herself back up as the music drifted throughout the room, staring out the window, until her eyes closed.

I waited and waited. I waited for hours to have passed, and for Charlie to drag himself up the stairs to his own room for me to make my escape from this closet. I opened the door, holding on to the wooden boards securely to keep it from screeching on the hinges. I removed myself and looked upon her. Her beauty as her back was flat against the mattress and one of her arms curved behind her head and her fingers intertwined in her hair. Her other arm halfway extended over the other side of the bed as she clutched onto the pillow. I left a small smile, looking at her.

I continued to stare, marveling in her beauty as her lips puckered and opened from the mumbles escaping. My Bella, so extraordinarily human. She was perfect, in every way.

"Edward, I'm sorry…" she exhaled through her lips as she squeezed her eyes, following a tear running down the crease of her nose.

The pain emitted from my chest, as she spoke my name through her lips. For what was she sorry for? There was absolutely nothing she would have to apologize for, at least not to me. She has been perfect in every possible way. I walked over to her side of the bed, kneeling down. I traced my finger over her cheek, and she scrunched her face; pulling the blanket over her cheek. I half smiled at her, how warm she was under those covers, just to be inconvenienced by a small cold touch.