Chapter Fourteen: Ralph Wrecks the Internet
Ralph had safely gotten Rancis, Spamley, and Himself, to the bottom of the BuzzzTube Tower. Without skipping a beat, he ran out of BuzzzTube and on to a Link Bridge, running to the closest site, with Rancis and Spamley hanging on to his back.
"Can this get any worse?" Rancis asked, rhetorically.
And then, like clockwork, a swarm of BuzzzTube Drones led by Taffyta and Candlehead, came out of the site.
"That answers that." Rancis panicked.
"You never say that, Richard." Spamley said, flicking Rancis upside the head, "It's cliché."
"Sorry." Rancis whimpered.
"Who cares?!" Ralph yelled, "Just get the Tracker working, okay!"
"Unfortunately," Spamley started, "Mrs. Rhythm has a password system on the Tracker. I'll have to run a Code Cracking Program, but it will take a while."
"Alright." Ralph sighed, as he started to run fast across the Link Bridge.
Taffyta and Candlehead were in their own mini Hovercrafts, leading the swarm of Drones, while trying to pin down Ralph's location.
"Hey Taffyta!" Candlehead called out, "These things are kinda like our Karts back home."
"Right." Taffyta replied, not really paying attention to Candlehead, "Let's just worry about finding and catching Ralph, okay?"
"Got it." Said Candlehead.
Then, Candlehead saw the group on the Link Bridge.
"OVER THERE!" Candlehead Yelled.
"Alright, let's get him!" Taffyta ordered, "Remember Candlehead, set the lazers to stun, Mrs. Rhythm wants Ralph alive."
"Alright, Candle Buds!" Candlehead cheered.
"No, we are not doing that." Replied Taffyta.
"Okay." Sighed Candlehead.
The swarm of Drones flew towards Ralph, Rancis, and Spamley.
"Guys, we got company." Rancis warned.
The Drones then started firing lazers at the group. Ralph started running faster and faster.
"Did you crack the code yet, Spamley?" Asked Ralph.
"Not yet, the program needs more time." Spamley replied.
"Alright." Ralph sighed.
Ralph soon crossed the Link Bridge and busted into eBay. An auction between some Netizens was being held.
"AND SOLD, FOR $100!" Yelled the Netizen hosting the auction.
"LOOK OUT!" Yelled Ralph, as he plowed right though the winning Netizen, interrupting the user's connection.
"Alright then, SOLD, FOR $50!" The Hosting Netizen said, pointing at the runner up.
Taffyta and Candlehead then raced by taking out the runner up Netizen, interrupting that user's connection.
"*sigh*, Sold for $10." The Hosting Netizen was annoyed.
The Drones then flew by taking out the other runner up Netizen, interrupting the last user's connection.
"Oh forget it." Said the Hosting Netizen, as he threw away his gavel.
Ralph broke out of eBay, but the Drones were gaining.
"Ralph, they're getting to close for comfort." Worried Rancis.
"Spamley," Called out Ralph, "Please tell me you've cracked the code."
"Not yet." Replied Spamley, "But, I do have some Hyperlinks to other sites, so we could try to lose them."
Spamley pulled out a random Hyperlink to a website, out of his pocket."
"HANG ON!" Spamley yelled, as he pushed the button of the Hyperlink.
A ball formed around the group and launched them to the site. The group crashed landed into YouTube and Ralph broke through the screen of a DanTDM video.
"Bet those viewers are happy that YouTube vids aren't in 3D." Chuckled Spamley.
But then, the Drones came through the screen and continued to give chase. Luckily, Rancis got an idea.
"Spamley, this is a video sharing site, yes or no?" Asked Rancis.
"What does that have to do with ANYTHING!?" Spamley was confused.
"YES OR NO!?" Rancis yelled.
"YES, WHY!?" Spamley responded.
"Alright Ralph, stop." Rancis demanded.
"WHAT!?" Ralph Questioned.
"JUST TRUST ME!" Rancis yelled.
Ralph stopped running, and Rancis jumped off of Ralph's back. Rancis ran up to the search bar and spoke into the mic and pulled up a ten-hour long video of a candle flame.
"I may not know how to read, but I do know Candlehead." Rancis stated, as he climbed back onto Ralph, "Now get us to another site, Spamley."
"A please would be nice." Spamley mumbled to himself, as he took out another Hyperlink that sent them to another site.
When the swarm of Drones passed the screen, Candlehead stopped right in front of the screen. The Drones bumped right into Candlehead's Hovercraft, and Candlehead was unfazed.
"Candlehead, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Barked Taffyta.
"So pretty." Candlehead was mesmerized by the flame on screen.
Taffyta sighed, then she shot the screen and destroyed it, snapping Candlehead out of her trance.
"Sorry." Candlehead apologised.
"Let's just go." Ordered Taffyta.
Ralph and Gang landed into Twitter and tried to hide behind some trees.
"Did you unlock the Tracker now?" Ralph desperately asked Spamley.
"No." Replied Spamley.
Ralph was becoming impatient. Then, the Drones entered Twitter and continued to give chase. Ralph ran through the forest, avoiding the lazer blasts. Ralph soon took notice of the blue birds that populated Twitter.
"KID!" Ralph called out to Rancis, "Use the birds as weapons, throw them at the Drones."
"Really?" Replied a confused Rancis.
"That would work." Spamley agreed, "Do it Ramsey, throw them Angry Birds!"
"It's Rancis, but alright." Rancis grabbed a bird from one of the trees as they pasted it and threw it at one of the Drones.
The bird soared through the air and hit a Drone. The Drone then burst into flames and exploded.
"Huh, it actually did work." Spamley said, surprisedly.
"So that's how you boys want to play it? FLAME WAR!" Declared Candlehead, as she set her guns to rapid fire.
Ralph was dodging the lazers franticly, "Please get us out of here, Spamley."
"On it." Spamley took out another Hyperlink that sent them to another site.
The gang flew across the Internet sky to the next site. Spamley then realised the site that they were about to land in.
"Hey Ralph, we are about to land into DeviantArt, you should probably cover the kid's eyes." Spamley suggested.
"Got ya." Ralph took Rancis off of his back and held him with one hand while covering his fragile, young, innocent eyes, with the other.
When Ralph uncovered Rancis's eyes, they were out of DeviantArt and on another Link Bridge. Ralph and Spamley looked horrified over what they just saw.
"See? I told ya that people are expressive." Spamley joked, nervously.
"So that's why Sonic knew about the Internet." Ralph said, blankly.
Rancis had no idea what they were on about, and that was probably for the best.
The gang then entered Pinterest, with the Drones close behind. Ralph grabbed a giant pushpin and hammer threw it at the swarm, destroying a whole bunch of Drones and disorientating Taffyta and Candlehead. The pushpin then crushed a random Netizen.
Meanwhile.
"CYAN, THE WIFI!"
"I JUST PAID IT RAYNE!"
Back with Ralph and the gang.
"You know," Spamley started, "When Mrs. Rhythm said to Wreck the Internet, I don't think she literally meant, Wreck the Internet!"
Ralph rolled his eyes.
They left Pinterest and started to cross another Link Bridge. Taffyta and Candlehead then reorientated themselves and started to close in the group. Luckily, Spamley finally cracked the code for the Tracker.
"Alright I got it, the password is…" Spamley looked annoyed, "*sigh* password."
"So what's the password?" Asked Ralph.
"password." Sighed Spamley.
"You have got to be kidding me." Said an annoyed Rancis.
Ralph made a loud audible exhale, "Alright, never mind. Just put the heart candy in and let's find Vanellope."
Rancis put Vanellope's Heart Candy into the Tracker, and like magic, the Tracker picked up Vanellope's current location.
"I GOT IT!" Yelled Spamley.
Ralph and Rancis's faces light up like a Christmas tree.
"Where is she?" Asked Rancis.
"She's in a website named OhMyDisney." Answered Spamley, "Hey I actually know where that is from here."
"Sit tight Vanellope, we're coming." Said a determined Ralph.
But then, Taffyta and Candlehead got closer to the group.
"I got you now." Said Candlehead, as she fired two missiles at the Link Bridge.
The Link Bridge was hit and the part that the group was standing on fell apart. Spamley got separated from Ralph and Rancis, as he landed on the other side of the Link Bridge. Ralph and Rancis, along with the Tracker, however, fell onto some random Netizen's connection and were taken away with it.
"RALPH, RANCIS!" Spamley called out, worried for them, "Hey I think I said the kid's name right."
Spamley then ran off.
Meanwhile.
Taffyta and Candlehead looked at the destruction.
"What the Hershey was that Candlehead!?" Scolded Taffyta.
"What do you me?" Questioned Candlehead.
"We were meant to bring Ralph back alive, not VAPORIZE HIM!" Taffyta Yelled.
"Oh, sorry."
"Well luckily, you didn't do that, but now we've lost him."
"I think I got a bit carried away." Candlehead was embarrassed.
Taffyta then got a text message from Mrs. Rhythm.
Taffyta sighed, "Mrs. Rhythm wants us back to talk to us."
"I have a bad feeling about this." Worried Candlehead, as the two, along with the swarm of Drones, flew back to BuzzzTube.
Later, at BuzzzTube.
Taffyta and Candlehead were Mrs. Rhythm's office. Mrs. Rhythm was now wearing a business suit and tie. Mrs. Rhythm and Poly, were non-to-pleased with them.
Mrs. Rhythm spoke, "Alright you two, remind me what your job was. Actually, scratch that, remind me what your task was, your simple easy to complete task, your simple easy to complete task, that I gave you two a whole army of Drones to do. Remind me, what that task was again?"
"To get Ralph back here in BuzzzTube, Ma'am." Taffyta replied.
"So, do tell me User T.M.F. and User C.H. why don't you have him back here in BuzzzTube?" Mrs. Rhythm asked.
"Because, you told us to come back here, Ma'am." Whimpered Candlehead.
"And why did I ask you two to do that?" Mrs. Rhythm asked.
"Because we lost hi-." Mrs. Rhythm cut off Candlehead.
"BECAUSE YOU LOST HIM!" Mrs. Rhythm yelled.
"We're sorry, Ma'am." Said Taffyta and Candlehead.
"Now because of your carelessness, he probably fell into the Dark Web!" Poly stated.
"No he's not there Mr." Mrs. Rhythm stated, "We'd be able to find him if he was in the Dark Web. No, he and Jr had to have been taken out of the Internet."
"Ma'am." Taffyta interrupted, "If you don't mind me asking, but why don't we just get a new star that's willing to work for you?"
Mrs. Rhythm smiled, "Simple User T.M.F., it would be impossible to make lighting strike twice and have someone become as popular as Ralph in such a short time."
"Remember, BuzzzTube needs more money soon." Added Poly.
"Well that makes sense." Said Candlehead.
"Plus," Mrs. Rhythm added, "I can tell that Ralph has a good soul, and like the fifteenth rule of the internet says, the more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it."
"Oh." Taffyta was surprised.
"Now," Mrs. Rhythm got everyone's attention, "My dude, Ralph, will have to re-enter the web if he wants to find his friend. When he does, you two WILL get him back."
"Yes Mrs. Rhythm." Said Taffyta and Candlehead.
Mrs. Rhythm looked down at them, smiling maliciously, "But, if you don't, not only will our deal be off, I will personally make sure that you two are reduced to nothing more than a pile of sugar-coated pixels."
"Heh heh heh, you're just joking about that last part right?" Candlehead hoped.
"Oh honey, do you really wanna find out?" Mrs. Rhythm threatened.
"Nope!" Taffyta shouted, while pulling on Candlehead's arm, "Candlehead didn't mean it. We will get Ralph back ASAP!"
"Good girls." Mrs. Rhythm smiled, "Remember, to PG rule twenty-eight of the internet, there will always be more messed up sugar than what you just saw. Now go, and DON'T fail me again! Dismissed."
Taffyta and Candlehead left Mrs. Rhythm's office and stopped just outside the now closed door to think about what they did. Candlehead was covering her heart and Taffyta was wiping tears, that was ruining her mascara, from her eyes.
"Taffyta," Cried Candlehead, "What did we sign up for?"
"I... I don't know Candlehead. Replied Taffyta, "I, don't, know."
NOTES: There you go Disney; you get to have a scene that has a bunch advertisements in it that actually adds to the plot and allows for some visual gags. Like I said before, what movie is complete a chase sequence? So not much to say about this chapter. ALSO, and this has nothing to do with this chapter, but I want to mention it now, after recently re-watching the first, (and only), Wreck-It Ralph, I found out how players control Vanellope's 'glitching'. Remember back in chapter four how I headcannoned how she did it? Well forget what I said, as it turns out that by pressing the button on the center of the steering wheel when it glows. his still means that Vanellope's 'glitching' is just her ability and NOT random, (at least when being controlled by a player). This just makes RBTI even more inconstant and infuriating. Also, for those of you wondering, Rayne and Cyan are inside jokes of my sister (who's Instagram name is Raynkrystal and she is doing some art for this story), and I, Rayne and Cyan are two of our human OCs. Anyways, next chapter we'll see how our 'happy little' family is getting along. Stay Tuned.