Chapter 13
BPOV
After two days of throwing a pity party for myself, and well healing up some too I guess, I had had enough. The horse liniment stuff Maggie gave me really was helping a lot. I wasn't having any more back spasms or pains in my hip, but the bruises were looking pretty wicked. The swelling in my face had also gone down but I was still sporting a couple of shiners and a decent sized knot on my forehead. Deciding that my vision wasn't impaired and my head no longer felt like it would split in two, I packed up what I needed into my mom's car to head back over to the farm. I needed to see if Rick had decided what to do or if he'd already went to go scout out the prison since I'd been gone for a couple days. I needed to make sure they put more people on watch as well. After packing up the car, I found a few roads that would take me to the farm without getting near the highway.
Everyone was once again staring at me as I pulled up and got out of the car with my pack, bow, and my guns strapped to my thighs. Rick had spotted me as well and was already making his way over thankfully. "Where've you been? I've been wanting to talk to you. I thought you were going to come right back?" He asked as soon as he was close enough for me to hear. Well, isn't he just bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning. "Don't act like you couldn't have found me if you wanted to, even though your trackers injured he could've done it. Not to mention I bet Sofia could've found her way there as well, but I bet you didn't think of that with her being a little girl and all. If you recall my face was all fucked up last time I saw you, well even more fucked up than it is now, and I probably would've wrecked the car because I couldn't see shit and my head felt like it would burst. I'm surprised I made it back to the house without getting my ass chewed on by a dead one with how shitty my senses were that day. So let's get down to business. Have you decided what you want to do?" I asked not wanting to make any small talk. Though I was over my little bout of feeling sorry for myself, I wasn't exactly ready to play nice with the others just yet. "I have. I think.." he was cut off by shouts coming from over by the barn.
He took off running in that direction and I followed. The scene we arrived at was pretty fucked up. There was a teen boy holding what looked like a catch pole with a dead one on the other end of it, leading it to the barn. Aw, so that's how they were getting them into the barn. Of course Shane was head of this shit show and started screaming about how they were already dead. He was making some good points, I hated to admit, as he shot one in the heart and then the lung and it kept on coming. But then he just had to go all crazy and open the barn that we had no clue how many zombies were in there; half the people out here weren't even armed. Hershel looked devastated as he ran out to see what was happening right as the others began to fire. I had wanted him to decide to do this himself, not for Shane to take his choice away. I stood back not wanting to participate in this fuckery, as did Rick. Once all the zombies were down, including the one on the catch pole, everyone just stood in silence as the Greene family huddled together and sobbed.
After a few minutes, Hershel got to his feet and looked to Shane, then Rick and said "I want you people gone…" he trailed off as he looked at me, "I want you people to stay away from me for the rest of the day… Those people were my neighbors and friends. And my wife and stepson… I know that we couldn't save them now but there was a better way to do this, not in front of my daughters…" He once again trailed off as he pulled them to their feet and began making his way to the house. Rick once again took off, going up to Shane presumably to rip him a new one I bet, and I was left standing around twiddling my thumbs. Thinking of what I would want done if it was my mother, I set off to find a shovel and started to dig.
Eventually, Glenn came to help and then a few others followed. All the bodies that were known were buried and marked with makeshift crosses by the teen boy, Jimmy, and the rest were burned. The family came out and stood by the graves for a while, then eventually moved back inside. Everyone was in a morose mood as the day moved on. It wasn't helping with the depression I'd been trying to fight off for the past couple of days. My pity party was trying to return full force, as I remembered my own mother, Phil, and the Cullen's. No matter how much Edward pissed me off in the end, I still cared for him, just not in the way he wanted me to. I remember opening that bathroom door and putting my knife through his eye, the sound it made, then watching him fall to the floor. I had just stood there, staring at someone I had loved then killed, laying on the floor in the hallway, until my legs went numb and I slid down the wall. I continued to stare, thinking of what a terrible person I was, a murderer. Then I remembered what Alice and Jasper had to do… they had to kill their whole family that they had loved and been with for over 60 years on top of carrying the burden of what was to come on their shoulders for over a year. They had prepped and planned for me to survive. Then they walked into a fire to kill themselves to give the people of Forks more time. I wouldn't let them down. I had gotten to my knees and crawled over to Edward's body, taken his cuff off and set it to the side. Then put on his nicest set of clothes and buried him in my mother's back yard.
As I thought of my family and friends and how much I missed them all, I remembered the letter Jasper had written. Ali had said to save it and read it on a day I felt down, and well, I was feeling pretty fucking down today. Just as I was about to go and find a private place to read it, a scream came from the house. I quickly made my way over hearing part of a conversation "Beth cut her wrist in the bathroom, and I can't find daddy to stitch her up! She keeps telling me she's sorry but I can't get the bleeding to stop. Has anyone seen my dad?!" Maggie Greene asked hysterically flapping her blood covered hands around. I stepped up to ask "Where is she? I can stitch her up before she loses more blood." Maggie immediately grabbed my hand and took me into a room where that blonde woman that yelled at me was sitting clutching a towel around the girl Beth's wrist. I went straight to the bathroom and washed my hands while asking Maggie to bring me some alcohol and gauze. When I returned to the room everyone was bitching left and right about whose fault it was and trying to place the blame on one another; well I put a stop to that shit real quick by putting my fingers to my lips and letting out a shrill whistle. Everyone fell silent just like I thought they might and I said "Everyone get the fuck out so I can get to work. All this bitching isn't doing anything. Give the fucking girl some room to breathe." Just as Maggie went to open her mouth I said "That means you too. I know she's your sister and you can come back when I get done but for now, everyone out. She can call for you if she wants to and the door can stay open but everyone better fuck off for a while." That shut them up and they filed out of the room.
I reached for Beth's wrist, slowly unwrapping the towel. The wound wasn't too deep, just long, and most of the bleeding was already stemmed, so I started to stitch her up. About half way through she asked "I bet you think I'm pretty stupid, don't you?" I stopped and looked at her mid stitch and told her truthfully "Not necessarily stupid. You have feelings like everyone else. Today was a terrible day for you and you're what 16 or so?" I asked and then continued as she slightly nodded "You emotions are strong, especially at your age. I broke down when I found out my mother and step father died. Then I had to put a knife through my ex-boyfriend's eye and I cried some more. I felt like giving up and staying where I was until I died but then I realized I am strong. That I'm still alive for a reason. My friend told me to have some faith, so I'm asking you to have a little faith." She had tears in her eyes as I continued stitching her up. "Everyone is going to look at you as a weak minded person now, you know that right?" I asked. She nodded and let some of the tears fall. "You have to decide if you want to be that person or if you want to prove them wrong. Don't do it for anyone else, not for your dad or your sister, but for you. If you don't do it because it's what you want then you'll end up right back where we are right now the first time you disappoint someone. Your already stronger than I was at 16, you realized you made a mistake after you cut yourself right?" I asked in a soft voice. "Yes" she sobbed out. "Well, let me tell you a little story, when I was 17, well I had just turned 18, I went cationic after my boyfriend left me in the woods. He had taken me out there to break up with me, telling me I wasn't good for him. I had to be rescued by a search team my dad called hours later off the forest floor soaking wet. I was cationic for months, just eating and functioning enough so that my dad didn't put me in a hospital. All this over a boy… I was weak and it wasn't until he returned months later that I realized I didn't want to be that person again. His sister sided with me on not taking him back and she got me involved in things that she knew I would like. And I did, I loved all the things I started doing for myself. I made myself better because I decided to, with some help from my friend Ali. I can be your friend and show you some things if you're willing to learn. You don't have to be the weak minded person they think you are; I'm willing to bet there's some fire in there if you just believe in yourself" I said pointing to her heart. I finished bandaging her hand and gave her a pack of antibiotics. After I packed up and stood to leave she grabbed my hand and said "Thank you.. um what's your name?" My face turned red; I had given this girl details of my past but yet failed to introduce myself… way to go Bella…"Uh I'm Bella Swan, and it wasn't an issue. Just think about what I said. I'll be around" I said shaking her hand. She nodded and I walked out of the room.
I was bombarded as soon as I turned the corner "Is she ok?! Was it bad?! Did she say anything?!" Maggie asked. "She's fine, she needed about 14 stitches. Now she needs some rest and when she gets up she needs to take a pain pill and some of the antibiotics I gave her." I stated then pulled Maggie off to the side of the room "She knows she made a mistake. Please don't crowd her like she's on suicide watch. I really don't think it's going to be an issue. She was in shock and cationic from earlier events and she's just a teenager. I'm sure you remember being emotional at that age and with the world how it is today; I can see why she thought, even just for a moment, that would be the best way to end things. The important thing now though is to not make her feel fragile and weak." I said softly, but looking at Maggie, it had gone in one ear and out the other. "She's my sister, don't tell me what she needs, you don't know her. Thank you for stitching her up but I don't need advice from someone that's barely older than her." She whispered angrily. Well, alright then, that went well. I nodded and headed to the door, but as I stepped outside, something was missing. "Where the fuck is my car?"
So I changed some things up, let me know what you think! A small flashback to Edward's death, not much, but an idea of what happened.