A few weeks later, a knock came on Poison Ivy's door. She opened it to reveal the Joker and Harley Quinn, still looking strangely normal.
"Hi, Harley, I see the regular couple deception is still going strong," said Ivy, hugging her.
"It sure is, Red!" exclaimed Harley. "Jervis managed to fix Mrs. Brewster and her son's mind into forgetting everything that happened with us, so they don't suspect a thing. And Bruce Wayne promised he wouldn't say anything, and Harvey says we can trust him, so that's good enough for me."
"Yeah, he's…" began Ivy, but she trailed off as she noticed what Joker was wearing. Even when he attempted to dress normally, it was usually in various suits, but this time he was wearing jeans and a T-shirt with the words This is What a Feminist Looks Like written on it. Ivy stared at the shirt, and then at him.
"Is that meant to be a joke?" she demanded.
"No, it's the truth," he retorted. "I'm as feminist as they come – treating men and women exactly as equals. I beat and murder them both indiscriminately, and that's true gender equality."
"I told him not to wear it, Red – I knew it would only rile you," sighed Harley. "But nobody ever listens to me."
"I sure hope you don't have one of these, sweetheart," continued Joker, smiling at Ivy. "After your little patriarchal display of kidnapping Harley to show her who's boss, you need to hand in your feminist membership card at once."
"Ok, first off, there aren't membership cards!" snapped Ivy. "And second off, you're giving feminism a bad name, so you need to take the shirt off right now!"
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" chuckled Joker. "I know Harley always likes it when I take my shirt off. Anyway, judging by you, feminism don't need me to give it a bad name. I think its supporters do a good enough job on their own, don't you, Ms. Harley-Doesn't-Deserve-to-Make-Her-Own-Choices?"
"Just take it off!" snapped Ivy.
"No, I'm going to see a strong, empowered woman while you two ladies are hanging out, and I'm hoping this will impress her into giving me a discount," retorted Joker. "Show her I'm a member of the club so she can give me fraternity rates. Or I guess sisterhood rates, in this case."
"Mr. J finally gave up on trying to assemble the crib," explained Harley. "It was annoying him, so he chopped it up into little pieces like he does with everything that annoys him, and now he's commissioning a new one from the Carpenter, so it can be clown-themed and all."
"Well, that won't terrify the child," said Ivy, sarcastically.
"It'd better get used to not being afraid of clowns with me as its Daddy!" chuckled Joker.
"Or alternatively, it had better get used to it," retorted Ivy.
"Oh, there's no need to be afraid of Daddy J," said Joker, grinning at her. "He takes good care of his property," he added, kissing Harley's cheek.
"Yeah, you're in no way a feminist if you think women are property," snapped Ivy.
"She's right, puddin'," purred Harley. "You better take that shirt off, nice and slowly."
"Later, my little barefoot and pregnant housewife," he murmured, kissing her. "You have fun with your gal pal now, and I'll be back to oppress you later tonight."
Harley sighed dreamily as Joker smiled and left. "He's so hot!" she sighed.
"Oppression isn't hot, Harley!" snapped Ivy. Then she sighed heavily. "Never mind – I give up. Let's just have a drink. Alcohol free for you, of course, but I'm having plenty of it."
"Sounds great, Red!" said Harley, beaming as Ivy headed into the kitchen. Harley pulled out her phone and quickly sent Joker a text: It worked – she's given up on trying to change me. You've broken another one, Mr. J!
She received a text back. Course I have, Harley girl! I'm the best there is at breaking people! Just stick with me, kiddo - hang around me long enough and watch and learn, and you might just achieve my level of greatness at manipulating people someday.
"Already there, puddin'," agreed Harley, smiling to herself as she put the phone away and followed Ivy into the kitchen.
The End