AN: Hello, lovelies. Welcome back to ff! Site was down for a while, I'm sure you noticed. I'm back though! This took me a while to write and I'm happy with how it turned out so please let me know what you think! Special thanks to Miriam for helping me with some details – you're the best! Also, for the guest who requested a feud ending for Will and Alicia, this one's for you.
5x15 never happens.
Alicia and Will were battling it out in court again. It had been seven months since Alicia left Lockhart Gardner and while the feud wasn't as fiery as when she and Cary first left, Will's passion and anger against her, in particular, was still flaming.
It was unnerving. Picking up a case only to discover he was the opposition always hurt, and yet she couldn't show it. She had to seem like she was up to the challenge, had to prove to him time and time again that he wasn't better than her, no matter how many times he tried to humiliate her. Given how many times she personally has gone against him, and not just their respective firms, told her that he did it on purpose. He chose the cases he chose to make a point against her. And she was growing so tired of it.
But as much as she wanted him to leave her alone, she wouldn't know what to do if he actually did. What, then, will she do without him? When will she be able to see him? Admire his strong jaw and expressive eyes and well-fitting suits?
It was decidedly a lose-lose.
Will was still trying his hardest to throw her off her rhythm, his hardest to beat her ruthlessly. She got used to his tactics with time and had managed to adapt, which only infuriated him more.
"Objection!" Will exclaimed for the umpteenth time that afternoon. She just rolled her eyes.
"What now, Mr. Gardner?" The judge seemed to agree with her. Will was so focused on throwing her off that he hadn't tried to stay on the judge's good side, and in that aspect, Alicia seemed like the underdog. And she was using every opportunity she could get.
"Asked and answered." Will straightened his jacket and glared at her. Alicia just eyed the judge for confirmation. "I'll allow it. Proceed, Mrs. Florrick." She smirked and saw his eye roll in her periphery. He sat back down and she continued with her argument.
Her confidence only grew as court proceeded, and when the judge adjourned the court for the following Monday, she felt smug when she walked up to Will.
"Ready to settle yet?"
Will glared at her and stuffed files in his briefcase. "In your dreams." He abruptly turned and walked towards the door. She scurried behind him.
"What do you want, Alicia?" He asked coldly when they reached the hallway. The courthouse was clearing of people due to the late hour. She saw uncharacteristic exhaustion in his eyes. She gulped.
"I just need to tell you something."
"What?" He rolled his eyes. What more could she have to say to him?
"Milton called me this morning. He wants to jump ship from LG and join us. Said it was because of your shit clientele."
His nostrils flared. She was getting to him.
"I told him I'll think about it, but I wanted to let you know so you could get your act together." It came out more bitter than she intended it to be, but nothing was too bitter at that point for them. She turned around without another word and left him standing alone in the emptying hallway.
Will was seething. He couldn't bear it. He found himself driving around restlessly, pondering his next move. Alicia always managed to get under his skin, no matter how menial her quips were. That, paired with the case he was losing, was driving him up the wall. The audacity of her lecturing me on responsibility…
It was Friday. He didn't want to go back to his office or return to his cold and empty apartment.
His thoughts never left Alicia. Maybe she was right, he did need to get over her.
Every time he felt his anger for her decimating, he's reminded of her betrayal. How she left him. How she chose Cary of all people to start her life anew with.
She left him. She was offered managerial partnership as a fourth-year associate and she still left him! Stabbed him in the back and left, and took millions of dollars with her. The more time passed the less it became about the money. LG had money, they'll be fine, but Will didn't have another Alicia. And he missed her, but he couldn't bring himself down and forgive her.
He offered her the world and she chewed it and spat it back in his face. All he ever wanted was a life in her shape, and yet.
Will's knuckles whitened against the black leather of the steering wheel. He abruptly changed his course, finally with a destination in mind.
He parked in the dingy parking and rode up the even dingier elevator. He quickly glanced at his watch. 7pm. She had to still be here.
He arrived to their floor and Florrick, Agos, and Associates greeted him. He hated to admit it, but it had a nice ring to it. He shook his head and walked around to find her. Given the lack of walls, it wasn't very difficult.
"Alicia." He finally spotted her. She was walking out of the conference room to what he assumed was her office. She held a file in her hands and she had black frames perched on her nose. He hated how attracted to her he was at that moment. She looked up confused and raised her eyebrows when she spotted him. "What do you want, Will?" She sounded exasperated, like his being there was just so inconvenient.
Will approached her, slow but steady, and stood facing her near her desk. They were in "her office" now. He actually looked around for the first time. It was cute, quaint. He could see bits of Alicia around the place, even though, admittedly, it did smell slightly damp.
"Will?" She asked when he didn't answer. He turned to her and stared right into her hazel eyes. Her eyebrows were furrowed, whether with concern or annoyance, he didn't know. Her blazer was draped on a coat hanger and she stood before him in a thin white blouse and dark mauve pencil skirt. His mouth watered. He cleared his throat.
"You had no right to speak to me like that in the courthouse earlier." He tried to keep his voice stern and frown steady. She rolled her eyes. "Oh please, grow up."
"No, Alicia! Was it not enough that the client you were defending today was one of LG's?! This was humiliating! And it's all your fault." They were alone and Will could speak how he wanted. "And I couldn't even use any of the shit I have against him because it would break attorney-client privilege." He walked closer, "you're awful, Alicia."
Her face had reddened. She was getting mad. "That's what you came all the way here for? To tell me I'm so fucking awful and terrible? Thanks, Will. Noted." Sarcasm dripped from her speech. She ditched the glasses on her desk and some deranged part of him wished she'd kept them on.
"Stay away from Milton."
"Hey, I won't deny him if he comes crawling to me."
"Alicia." His tone was stiff, a warning. "You hate me and I hate you too," it pained him to say it, "but haven't you taken enough from me?" He wasn't just insinuating to all the clients and the business. He glared at her and contempt raged in his eyes. Alicia had taken everything and turned him to mush. And she didn't even care.
They had unknowingly inched closer together and their faces were barely apart. Will was transported back to that night over a year ago when he and Diane were battling it out against Alicia and Cary in a mock trial. That same raging passion coursed through them, except this time around, it wasn't due to some game.
Will couldn't help it, though. She had gotten wide-eyed and, taking one look at her, he was a goner. He cupped her face and smashed it against his own, immediately latching on to her lips. She responded in kind, to his relief, and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
He had missed her so much.
He ravaged her, taking in every inch of her mouth. His arms snaked around her waist and he sat her on her desk, pushing a few things out of the way. It was crazy how different this was from the last time he cleared her desk. He squeezed her hips and she moaned into their kiss.
"Fuck, I missed you so much." He whispered, almost too quietly, as if he didn't even want her to hear it. His lips trailed down her jaw to her neck. His hands played with the hem of her skirt. She sighed and wrapped her legs around him to bring him closer. Their movements were quick, frantic. He rode her skirt up her thighs and felt along the skin of her thigh. It was as smooth and creamy as he'd remembered.
His mouth settled on her collarbone and he sucked. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed harder against her. His hands traveled around her body, from her hips, down her legs, up to her ribs. Alicia had never felt so on fire. She tugged at his hair and brought his face up to hers again. She kissed him deeply, pouring in all the apologies left unsaid. She cupped his face with one hand and snaked her other down his front to settle over his erection.
Will moaned when Alicia palmed him through his pants. Having her in his arms was all he ever needed.
He pushed her skirt up and moved her panties out of his way with his fingers. She was already panting against his lips. He stroked her clit softy with his thumb and she thrust gently against him, silently begging him for more.
He made sure she was stable on the desk. He pulled away from her and looked at her for the first time that night. Her eyes were shades darker and her face was flush with lust. He could read her so well. He knew she was going to regret this the minute they finish. He also knew she would stop him if he didn't hurry so he swiftly entered two fingers into her.
She moaned out and held tightly onto him. Her lips pressed against his neck as he pushed his digits in and out, slowly. He was taking her places she hadn't been to in a while. After a moment, he couldn't take it anymore. He needed to relieve his frustration. He needed to show her just what she did to him.
He removed his fingers and she whimpered. He made quick work of unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants and next thing they knew he was in her, hot and deep. She gasped and wrapped her arms around his neck. They held eye contact for a moment and Will could sense the anger dissolving into raw vulnerability. He was still angry at her, but having her there, in his arms again after everything they'd been through, made a lump grow in his throat.
He captured her lips in his again and started thrusting. His palms were on the desk, holding them still, as he built momentum and started ramming into her. The little moans and groans she released reminded him of old times and he kept going, chasing that feeling of a happier them.
He never felt as satisfied as he did when he was enveloped by her. She tightened her legs' grip around him and he pounded harder into her. Her breathing was ragged, he could hear her pants as she nibbled on his earlobe. He hugged her to him and continued his harsh movements, kissing and sucking at her lovely neck that he'd so missed.
"Will," she whispered. Hearing her say his name in this tone rather than the new spiteful one turned him on so much. He tilted his head and kissed her again. He felt her walls clenching and went faster. Her fingers wrapped in his hair and pulled and the playfulness tugged at his heart. He felt himself smile as he sensed her come apart against him. A few strategic strokes later and he was gone too.
They stood there, panting loudly, still in each other's arms. Will was terrified of what would happen when he let her go. What now? Where do we go from here?
She shifted against him and he gulped. He slipped out of her and stepped away, fixing his rumpled clothes. He was suddenly embarrassed at the awkwardness following the sexual release. Judging by her awkward shuffling and clothes-straightening, she felt the same. What was he supposed to do?
In the midst of pleasure he forgot how mad at her he was supposed to be, how angry and bitter and betrayed he was supposed to feel. But after months, and after looking at her, and after touching her again after what felt like an eternity, he couldn't seem to care.
He glanced at her and held her eyes for a moment. She looked stumped too. He turned around without another word and left the firm.
She was freaking out. The sex was passionate and hard and so inexplicably Will. How she'd missed his touch. She'd had sex with Peter from time to time after they broke up but nothing and no one ever compared to Will. After thinking she was never going to experience the feeling of him again, she felt depressed, felt like she had missed out on a lot. And now, suddenly out of nowhere, she felt hope, albeit a bit dirty.
What was she thinking? In the middle of her open office? Somebody could've walked in. She shook her head and stared at the exit where Will had left moments prior. Where do they go from here?
She kept mulling over his actions. He visited her. He initiated the kiss. He wanted her. Was he planning on doing all this? When he entered he seemed so sad and angry and she gulped at the thought of being the reason for that. She'd been the reason behind his anguish for months and she couldn't take it anymore.
Alicia sat on her chair and stared at the mess in front of her. She smiled at the strewn papers and glasses. He did this. And she wanted him again. Again and again and again. She cursed under her breath. They opened that door again and she doubted she'd be able to close it soon.
Will's face was glued to the forefront of her mind. After she left Lockhart/Gardner, all she did was focus on the look of pure hatred in Will's eyes as he fired her. That fueled her to forget any feelings she might have had for him. She buried it all, dismissed his looks, told herself he wanted nothing to do with her ever again. She was convinced he was disgusted by her. Maybe he still was, but tonight, she thought differently.
She packed her bag and left the office, knowing full well she wouldn't be getting any work done.
On her drive home, she reminisced. She remembered all the times she had the chance to say something but didn't. All the times she chickened out of revealing too much. All the times she coward behind her love for him and hid it with sex and a relationship she pretended was nothing more than an affair. She never allowed herself to think otherwise, those thoughts led nowhere.
Unless…
She's ruined everything by never saying anything out loud. The daunting realization fell on her and regret washed up her throat. She could just cry. Stupid. So, so stupid. She let a few tears fall. She remained quiet and now it was too late.
Or was it?
She felt a rush of emotions wash down on her and found herself driving to his apartment instead of hers.
Her heart was stuck in her throat as she parked. She was terrified. This could either go horribly wrong or horribly right.
She went up the elevator, foot tapping furiously on the floor. The elevator doors opened, and there was Will, standing on the other side. He looked surprised to see her.
"Oh, I'm sorry, were you leaving?" She asked, suddenly feeling small and insignificant. "Yeah. I was coming to see you." He offered a tiny smile and she returned it. He ushered her into his apartment and shut the door behind them.
She looked around the place. She hadn't been there since they ended their affair. She glanced at the doorway and blushed, remembering the time they fucked against the door.
"Am I going too hard?" She shivered at the memory.
They stared at each other for a while, neither knowing what to say. She didn't think this through. His glassy puppy dog eyes stared at her and she was a mess. The pout on his lip reminded her of the look he gave her the night Ashbaugh died, and the memories that flooded her that evening. She was so overwhelmed she could start bawling in front of him.
Having him once more wasn't enough; she wanted him every day, for the rest of her days. Alicia felt as if her brainpower was slowly vacating her skull, leaving behind a mush of desperate wanting and affection towards the hurting man in front of her. She sighed. She had to say something.
"What have we done to each other?" She asked, her voice barely above a whisper. The anger on Will's face from earlier in the day dissolved into the hurt she saw in front of her, and she didn't know which one was worse. He sighed. "I have no idea."
"Will, I need you to know that I never meant to hurt you. This wasn't a long con where I pretended to work for you just to stab you in the back. I hadn't planned this. This wasn't about the clients and the money. You have to believe me." They were still standing in the front room.
"Then why did you leave? If the clients and the money were so insignificant, why did you leave?" His voice was hard but not angry.
"To… to get away from you."
She stared at him to gauge his reaction but he was unreadable. "I couldn't take it anymore, Will. After Peter's win and our kiss on election night, I realized something. I was hopelessly, desperately in love with you. So much so I thought I saw you at Peter's celebration party and was ready to run away with you." His eyes widened at that.
"I was going to call you but… I couldn't. I was officially the first lady of Illinois. This was big. The thought terrified me. I was going to be on the radar more than ever before and I couldn't. I just couldn't give in, Will. You have to understand." She practically begged. He remained silent.
"So I called Cary instead, and we made a plan. I was iffy about it the whole time, all I could think about was you. I felt so awful, but Cary kept me grounded. He was somewhat of a bad influence, morally speaking. And he and the other fourth years convinced me. I thought being away from you would solve all of this. I thought my feelings will diminish. But the more you hated me the more I longed for you. And that's that." She sighed.
It was then she realized she had told him she was in love with him.
"Will. Say something, please." Her voice shrank and her confidence wavered.
"Owen told me about this."
"What?" What did her brother have to do with this?
"When I was working on a case, I visited his university campus and ran into him. He invited me to his office and offered me yogurt and some…information."
Alicia was shocked. Owen never told her this. She was gonna kill him.
"He told me you left because of me. I didn't believe him, I didn't want to. I was done with you by that point, I never wanted to see your face again."
She shifted awkwardly on her feet. He smiled.
"But a tiny part me wished it was true. I loved you, Alicia. I tried so hard not to. I tried so hard to convince myself that you were awful and were never the person I thought you were. But even when I hated you, I loved you."
She couldn't believe they were being so open with each other. That was a first.
"I love you, Leesh. You know that, right? You have to know that by now." He approached her and held her gaze. His eyes bored into hers and she felt them welling up again. She shook her head. "Maybe. I don't know. I tried to push that idea away and I just made everything worse." She sniffed. He used the nickname reserved for him. Her tears were actually falling. She wiped them away, embarrassed.
Will's hand reached up and cupped her face. He wiped a tear away with his thumb and she shivered at his touch.
"I guess we're both to blame." She leaned into his touch and kissed his palm.
"I missed you." She whispered. She couldn't take it. He looked down at her as if she had offered him the whole world on a silver platter. He leaned down and kissed her nose and she blushed. Being engulfed by his smell again was like coming home. "I missed you too."
"What do we do now?"
He placed a chaste kiss on her lips and took her hand to lead her further into the apartment.
"Fresh start?" He asked. She hugged his arm and nodded against it.
"Fresh start."
The prompt: Desk sex + Feud ending.