a/n Can't believe this is the last chapter! Huge thanks to Stormkpr for betaing every last word and to every reader who's stuck with it this far! You might want to keep an eye out for my next multichapter, "The Best of Friends", which diverges from canon at 7.13 with an arranged marriage and a good dose of angst. Happy reading!
Bellamy tries very hard to be patient as he waits for the Arkadia vehicles to arrive, and Clarke and Madi to arrive with them.
He has to admit, patience has never come easily to him. And he's struggling with it even more, today, when he desperately wants to get started on his new life. He tries to keep busy, do useful tasks. He heaves around a few crates of essential equipment, helps Raven with some odd jobs, fetches and carries for Jackson. At least these things count as starting a new life, in their way. They are all part of the process of building community.
He's not worried, as such, when Clarke still hasn't arrived by mid afternoon. This is about the time she arrived when they met up here last week, but he understands that she will be later today. She has had to collect her passengers and pack the rover, presumably.
He becomes mildly concerned when Kane appears driving the truck, Abby in the passenger seat, and Clarke's rover is nowhere in sight.
"Where are they?" He asks, knowing that Abby will know exactly who he's talking about.
"We set off before them. I'm sure they'll be here soon." She says soothingly.
He nods. Obviously they'll be here soon. He's probably worrying about nothing.
"How are you doing?" He asks her, because he supposes that's a kind and appropriate thing to do, now she's more or less his mother-in-law.
"Much better, thank you." She swallows, eyes sliding away, as if deciding how much to share. "I guess it's too soon to say I'm over it. I'm sorry for putting you and Clarke through all this."
He frowns. It's interesting that she phrased it like that, he thinks. As far as he can tell, all he's suffered as a result of her addiction is a little concern about her and a lot of concern about Clarke.
But it will do both him and Abby good to get to know each other on a more personal level, he supposes, so he tries to sound encouraging when he replies.
"It's OK. I understand. You've been through a lot. And I know Clarke is really proud of how you've fought to get well again."
Abby smiles cautiously. "Thank you, Bellamy. I guess I should say welcome to the family?"
He laughs – a slightly giddy sound, while he's still half-worried about Clarke's late arrival, but a laugh nonetheless.
"Don't you think it's a bit late for that, Abby? I think Clarke decided we were moving in months ago."
…...
Clarke and Madi do not arrive soon, in the end. Bellamy tries to keep himself distracted as the afternoon lengthens, taking care of Abby and helping her set up med bay, catching up with Kane on the months they've spent apart.
But at last the light begins to fail and he can pretend no longer.
"They should be here by now." He announces to Raven and Abby.
"They'll get here soon. Or if not they'll get here tomorrow – they have the rations to stop for the night if they need to." Abby says calmly.
Bellamy gapes at her slightly. He knows she's been through a life-changing experience and all, but he can't believe Abby is being so calm about this when her daughter is missing. He's only just started to think of Madi as his foster daughter, and he's worried sick about her on top of his anxiety about Clarke's absence.
"How are you just sitting here calmly?" He comes straight out and asks her. It's hardly a subtle or polite thing to ask, but if they're now family and all, he figures a little honesty is allowed.
Abby snorts without humour. "My daughter's Clarke Griffin, Bellamy. She walks into danger on a daily basis. I'd go crazy if I worried about her every time, and I'm trying to be a bit calmer since – since my problem. I know she's safer now in that rover, wherever she is, than she has been most of the time she's been on this planet."
He considers that for a moment. It does make sense. He supposes he hadn't thought about it that way – he's been more preoccupied with the excitement of waiting for Clarke, and that has spilled over all too easily into anxiety. But he's pleasantly surprised to find that he can take in and evaluate Abby's point of view without reprimanding himself for his contrasting emotional response. It's kind of lovely not hating himself so much, these days.
"You want to help Kane with the cooking?" Raven suggests, pointing in his direction. "That might give you something to do besides worrying."
Right. Yes. A good suggestion, from a good friend who has done her best to look out for him, while they've been together in the bunker.
Bellamy spends a little time cooking, a little more time seeking odd jobs. He can't even go ahead and move his precious few belongings into a house, because he doesn't know which home Madi will choose until she arrives. So it is that he spends a while worrying about the emotional wellbeing of his foster daughter and how she will feel on arriving home, because obviously he wasn't already worried enough.
At last, the rover appears, Clarke at the wheel, Madi napping in the passenger seat.
Bellamy waves, runs over to greet them. Clarke opens the door, half-falling from the driver's seat and into his arms. And then Madi has been awoken by the commotion, too, and is joining the family hug with enthusiasm.
Finally, this village feels like home.
…...
Clarke spends just a few seconds taking in her surroundings when she pulls back from hugging Bellamy and Madi, takes a moment to get her bearings. Clearly the others have been here some time – much of the luggage has been unpacked and Jackson waves cheerily from the steps of the old village hall which will serve as their med bay.
And the other thing she notices right away? Bellamy seems disproportionately relieved about their arrival, in a way that rather implies he was feeling quite worried, she thinks.
"I'm sorry we kept you waiting. I didn't mean to worry you." She whispers to him, in between a couple of pecks on the lips and cheeks in greeting.
He frowns. "How did you know I was worried?"
She smiles at him softly. "I know you pretty well, you know. It's OK. I know you worry about the people you love – I should have realised this would get to you."
He laughs a little, presses a kiss to her forehead. "I'm OK now. I knew you would be fine but it just – it got to me. It's been a long week and I'm used to the people I love dying. I still don't trust that this is real, I guess."
"I get that." She hugs him again for good measure, meets his eyes with a look that she hopes says everything she is thinking but does not want to put into words, here and now, in the middle of the village. She'll speak to him properly, when everyone else is fed and settled in. That's how it works between them, after all – they make time to sit down together and talk about what really matters.
He understands what she's not saying, more or less. She can tell from the way he smiles softly at her, presses one last kiss to her cheek, and then breaks away to greet the other families with children who are climbing tiredly out of the rover.
Things move quickly, after that. They all eat together – some stew Kane and Bellamy have prepared. Madi identifies the home that was hers and is to be theirs, and seems positively cheerful about moving in.
Clarke wonders how long that will last. She suspects that the initial excitement and relief of being home is winning out, tonight, but that in the days and months and years to come there will be grief to process on the subject of living in Madi's birth parents' old house. But she also knows that, as a parent, she cannot dedicate her entire life to worrying about what might go wrong. That way lies madness. She can only take care of her daughter, do her best to keep her safe and happy, and deal with whatever life throws at them.
For tonight, that means tucking Madi into her old bed in her old room, telling her a cheerful bedtime story, and believing her when she says she's happy to be home.
Clarke and Bellamy make their way straight to their bedroom, when Madi is asleep. It should probably feel more strange to think of it as their bedroom, Clarke muses, when it so recently belonged to the people who gave birth to their little girl.
Sure enough, Bellamy's mind is running along the same lines.
"I feel like I should feel weird that we're about to sleep in this bed." He says, gesturing to it.
Clarke frowns, nods heavily. "I know what you mean. I wonder if we've seen so much death now that we're immune to it."
"You know you don't mean that." He challenges gently. "You're not immune to it. I know you're still hurting about Wells and your dad and Lexa. But I guess you're right – maybe we've come to think of it as too normal."
"I guess what I'm trying to say is that we were always going to have ghosts." She doesn't mean actual white-faced spirits from old Earth media, so much as a more metaphorical interpretation. "Wherever we live, someone else has died. That's Earth."
"That was the Ark, too." He reminds her, and it's true.
"Maybe Earth doesn't have to be like that any more."
It's a hopeful note, for what ought to have been a hopeless conversation. But now the elephant in the room has been addressed, she does feel more comfortable about sleeping in this room. Or rather – she feels more comfortable with just how comfortable it is, rather than feeling guilty that she has no grief to spare.
They don't make a big event of their first night together in their new home. They don't try any bold new sexual fantasies, or attempt to screw on every available surface in the house. Clarke fully intends to have a go at such things, another day, but for now she wants something simple and sweet.
That's why she waits until they are both lying naked in bed, and then pulls Bellamy in for a gentle kiss.
He kisses her back eagerly but without any hurry, more tender than heated. He's running a hand over the curves of her butt – not to grab or grope, but in a comforting, gentle way. She responds in kind, stroking his hair back from his face then settling her hand on his cheek, rubbing lightly at the soft skin there with the tip of her thumb.
He pulls away for a moment, whispers against her lips.
"You want to get some sleep or did you have other plans?"
She giggles breathily. "Other plans. We don't have to do anything... wild. Just – I've missed you."
He doesn't answer that in words. He answers with a more demanding kiss, smirking against her lips even as he kisses her deeply.
Things escalate from there. Clarke finds herself grinding shamelessly against his thigh, but she figures that's no bad thing. Is there anything wrong with letting her life partner – her soulmate – know that she's very into him? It seems like he's very into her, too. His cock is jutting hard against her hip, and she figures it's time to give him a clue. She keeps kissing him hungrily while she reaches down to wrap her fingers carefully around his erection, tugging on it lightly.
He gasps into her mouth, then laughs at himself a little.
"Is that a hint?" He asks, teasing.
"Yeah."
He doesn't make her ask twice. He rolls fully on top of her, eases his cock inside of her and starts moving slowly.
She sighs a relieved sigh. She's missed him, OK? She's missed not just his cock but his arms and his kisses and his heart, too. There's something about the way they're holding each other tight while he moves gently inside her that's really quite beautiful.
Beautiful, but not necessarily stimulating. She'd like a little bit more urgency, thank you very much.
She bucks her hips up to meet him a couple of times, and once again gives him a wordless clue in the form of her hands gripping his butt cheeks. As ever, he understands everything she isn't saying – he starts moving a little faster, thrusts a little harder, coaxes them both closer to the edge.
"Love you." She gasps, the words slipping from her lips quite without her permission. She never had herself down as the kind of woman who would go for love confessions in bed, until these last few months growing closer and more honest with Bellamy.
He moans against her neck, whispers the words right back at her.
Huh. That's interesting. It sounds like he's getting close, there, and that maybe her words might have tipped him closer.
She tries again.
"I love you. Love how you make me feel safe."
He doesn't try to speak, this time. He just moans louder, breath coming in stuttering gasps that tickle her neck. And that tips her closer to the edge in turn – it's incredibly hot to watch and hear and feel as he comes undone over her like this.
He gets there first, by mere seconds, spilling inside of her with a loud groan. But she's not far behind, clenching around him while he's still riding through the last aftershocks of his own orgasm. She has a feeling that's no coincidence – she definitely gets off on knowing he's having a pleasurable time.
They lie there for a moment, Bellamy still on top of her, but she's not complaining about his weight. It's comforting, somehow, to know he's right here, and she loves the feel of his strong back under her fingertips.
"I love you too. Sorry I was too distracted to say it back." He says lightly.
She laughs. "It's OK. It was pretty hot seeing you that distracted, if I'm being honest."
The Bellamy she used to know would have been awkward about all this, she thinks. He'd have been awkward about finally getting together when they've been friends all this time. He'd have been apologetic about not saying much to her while she was talking to him just then, would have probably even been insecure about coming first, but then covered it with a cocky smirk.
This Bellamy's not like that. He's managed to ditch most of his self-loathing and the insecurity that used to give way to anger, and replaced it all instead with only even more love, it seems.
All in all, things between them are comfortable, as they lie here together. In fact, life itself is pretty comfortable, now she comes to think about it – certainly more comfortable than she would ever have imagined, when she first arrived on Earth.
…...
On his first morning in his new home, Bellamy gets one of his greatest wishes.
It's not just that he wakes up next to Clarke, presses a soft kiss to her cheek. It's not just that she gives a muffled humming sound and presses closer into his side when he does so.
It's the fact that she's half awake, and she stays that way. She blinks a bleary eye at him, then snuggles back down into her pillow.
He grins to himself. This is all he's ever wanted for Clarke – for her to learn how to rest and relax and take a moment for herself, for a change. To learn how to sleep in of a morning, as if the world is not ending.
He presses one last kiss to her cheek, then shuffles carefully away from her, set on getting out of bed. He plans to leave Clarke to get some rest while he checks on Madi and sees what can be done about breakfast or setting up the village.
Clarke objects, though. She clings to him as he pulls away, and when he finally eases free of her hands with another kiss to her knuckles, she blinks heavily and goes to sit up in bed.
"No. Stay where you are." He suggests – or perhaps it has more of the firmness of an order.
She shakes her head. "I should get up."
"You don't have to." He murmurs, perching on the edge of the bed and reaching out to stroke her hand. "You were driving late yesterday evening. Get some more rest – nothing urgent needs doing this morning. I can make sure Madi's OK and get her some breakfast."
She hesitates, frowning softly.
"Please, Clarke. Give yourself a morning off."
She nods – decisively, because she's Clarke, but not urgently or frantically, so that's progress. And then she settles back down onto her pillow, tugs the covers up around her shoulders. He smiles softly down at her, can't resist bending to press one more kiss to her forehead. But this is the last one before he goes to get on with things – really it is.
The last thing he sees before he leaves the bedroom? Clarke reaching for his pillow, hugging it close to her, inhaling a deep breath as if trying to catch the scent of him still on the soft cotton.
So, yes, he starts the morning in a good mood. And it gets only even better when he knocks on the door of Madi's room, hears her call out to enter, and goes inside to find that she has dressed herself in a rather mismatched outfit and is currently rifling through a small chest.
"Are you OK this morning?" He asks her gently. He's no idea how well she's really dealing with being back here.
"I think so." She answers in Trig, frowning hard.
Bellamy nods, as much to show her he's happy following a conversation in her childhood language as to encourage her to keep talking.
"I have some of my toys back." She gestures at the chest in front of her. "I'm happy about that but also sad. Before, when I was in Polis, it was easy to pretend that nomon and notu were just away. But now I'm here and my toys are here and they're not."
"I understand why that's sad." Bellamy says, clunky but heartfelt.
"Yeah?"
"My mum died when I was too young – older than you are now, but still not ready to say goodbye to her." He swallows, fishes for words. "I had to live in the same house. All her things were still in her room. It was hard."
Madi looks up at him, curiosity in her eyes, apparently deciding this conversation is of far more interest than her toy chest.
"I didn't know that. Clarke never said."
"Maybe she thought I should tell my own story." He suggests. He's grateful for it, really – it gives him an opportunity to bond with Madi and show her some empathy now.
"And Clarke lost her father." Madi points out.
"Yeah."
There's a beat of silence. Madi strokes her hand over a small doll, then looks back up to Bellamy again.
"Do you think we'll ever stop losing our parents?"
Bellamy swallows thickly. "I don't know. I can't tell the future – I wish I could. But I think our chances of staying safe and having our family stay safe are better now than they ever have been in my life."
Madi nods, somewhere between resigned and satisfied. That's good enough for now, Bellamy thinks. That's not a bad start, for their first morning as a new family in her old home.
"You want some breakfast?" He offers gently. "We can have fresh food instead of all that dried meat."
She perks up a little, smiles slightly. "Is there fruit?"
"There are apples."
That passes the test, apparently. That has Madi standing up, putting her precious doll away, and leading the way from the room.
She grows gradually more cheerful, over the course of breakfast, as the everyday routine distracts her from her grief and the novelty of fresh food and a new foster father seems to brighten her mood. She asks Bellamy a lot of questions about himself – some thoughtful, some impertinent, and some that his Trig is not yet quite up to answering. But they manage well enough, and sure enough it seems Clarke was right when she said that Madi would be only too glad to have Bellamy in her life.
Madi is on her third apple, and Bellamy is wondering whether it is healthy to let her eat any more, when she asks a most unexpected question.
"Do you like soccer?"
"Soccer?" Is the word the same in Trig as in English? Or is this some totally different concept?
"Yeah. Soccer. The ball game Clarke likes. She used to watch it with Wells."
"I've never played it. I didn't watch it much as a kid – my sister didn't like it."
"You have to learn how to play today. It's a family trip." Madi announces.
He nods, encouraging, even though he has very little idea what the child is talking about.
"You and me and Clarke are going to play soccer today." She insists. "Clarke said we could. Because we played it yesterday on the journey but you weren't there and we didn't want you to miss out."
He smiles, oddly touched. It seems his daughter has already decided what his schedule for the day will be – but somehow it doesn't bother him anywhere near as much as it used to bother him when his mother and sister used to make decisions on his behalf. That's because he knows this decision is born of love, not taking him for granted.
"Sure. We're playing soccer – we'll go when Clarke wakes up."
…...
Clarke feels odd, when she wakes up for real and prepares to face the day. Not odd in that she feels guilty about taking her time this morning – more like it feels odd not to feel guilty about that, after all these months bearing the weight of the human race on her shoulders.
She's looking forward to seeing how things could be different, in this new village. She and Indra and Kane and Bellamy and Octavia and Layla and so many others will work together to run things, rather than bearing it all alone. And hopefully that will leave her time for a sleepy morning hugging Bellamy's pillow – or Bellamy himself – rather more often.
She's still Clarke Griffin, so when she does decide to get up, she does it quickly. She tugs her clothes on, strides down the hallway in search of her partner and child. She finds them in the kitchen, eating apples and laughing about something she has missed.
That's fine. Let them have their in-jokes. It warms her heart, to see her two favourite people in the world getting on so well.
She greets Madi with a hug, greets Bellamy with a brief but heartfelt kiss on the lips. She takes an apple for herself and chooses a seat at the table. She's not allowed to sit down and enjoy the morning for long, though.
"You have to eat quickly, Clarke. We're going to play soccer." Madi announces.
"Give Clarke a minute to catch up with us, Madi." Bellamy chastises her softly.
"Why are we playing soccer? I should go help my mum and Jackson with the med bay." Clarke hedges. She does want to have fun with her daughter, of course she does. But she cannot neglect her duty all day.
"Jackson's pretty much done." Bellamy says with a shrug. "He's a very competent guy. I think in some ways taking the lead in the Polis med bay without your mum around gave him a new burst of confidence."
Clarke nods. She's half-noticed that herself, honestly. She's not really surprised to hear that med bay is almost ready. But she still feels instinctively uncomfortable at the thought of going off on an outing rather than playing her part here.
"How about this? We go out and play soccer this morning while the weather's good. Then we can see what needs doing here later this afternoon. Raven says it'll rain. How about that?" He suggests.
She purses her lips, somewhere between a smile and a frown. He knows her too well, this wonderful man. Of course he's appealing to her sense of logic, pointing out that it's very rational to make the most of the good weather now, and perform indoor tasks when it rains.
Ugh. She can't decide whether she's more amused or exasperated that he's started using her own personality against her.
"OK. Looks like we're playing soccer." She concedes cheerfully.
They move quickly, after that. Apples are eaten swiftly, bootlaces are tied, and Madi returns from her bedroom hugging an object that will pass as a soccer ball. It's not the real thing – a little on the small side, and too soft – but it'll do the job. Clarke knows full well that this morning is more about having fun than high-quality gameplay, and that's just fine with her.
She's got a lot better at having fun, since she met Bellamy.
They tell Kane where they're going before they set out into the woods, and he waves them away without concern, ignoring their promises to help out around the village later with a tenacity that Clarke thinks is admirable. He's a good stepfather, she has to admit it.
She's happy, as she makes her way through the forest with Madi and Bellamy – purely happy in a way she cannot remember being for years. It's not that she's forgotten the people she has loved and lost. She knows she will never do that. It's more that she is healing, now, and able to find joy in the sunny moments with the people she loves who are still alive.
Madi swears she knows a clearing where they can play. So she's leading the way, cutting a path through the woods with a determined stride.
"We're nearly there!" She cries now, breaking into a run.
"Madi -"
"Race you!" The child calls, sprinting off down the path.
Clarke looks to Bellamy. He looks right back at her, brow raised, a challenge in his eyes.
So that's how it is that the two of them end up racing through the trees in pursuit of their daughter, running side by side. Clarke has a feeling that Bellamy could run faster, if he really chose to. She gets the impression that he's sticking by her side deliberately.
It's exhilarating, to run through the woods like this. To run not through fear or pursuit or urgency, but for the fun of feeling the wind in her hair and playing a childish game with her daughter. It's moments like this that she used to dream of, when she drew her dreams of Earth.
Madi stops running first, stumbling on her short legs, panting and laughing, all at once. Clarke draws to a sudden halt right behind her, keen not to bump into her.
Bellamy falls straight into Clarke, steadies himself with a hand on her waist which somehow lingers long after he's regained his balance.
Maybe that's what makes her laugh. Or maybe she's joining in with Madi's giggle, or maybe she's just laughing for the sheer joy of being alive in this valley of green. Either way, she's laughing. And then Bellamy's laughing, too, even as he squeezes her waist in a half-hug, and Madi is turning to beckon them onwards with a smile.
Clarke gets it, now. She gets it as she looks between Bellamy and Madi and the dappled sunlight beyond.
This is what family means, now the world has ended. This is what family means, as life on Earth begins again.
a/n Thanks for reading!