Note: This is definitely the most heavy chapter I've written for this fic. And I'm just assuming that Season 9's Cac tu Khan and Goodbye Vietnam take place on the 13th and 14th of January 2018. (the 13th is when the 1st part aired).

'Today is January 14. We're tracking down another connection link right now. Well, the tech guys are.'

'Do I have anything to say? Yes. I figure it's time to explain why I really took this mission.'

'Exactly 1 year ago today, I was rescued in the nick of time from a human trafficker/ animal poacher in Vietnam.'

'How did it happen? Well, in late September of 2017, I faked retirement and snuck into Vietnam to find a friend that I knew in the Vietnam War who was presumed dead for years.'

'The person I went to (who later betrayed me) said he knew where he was. Took some convincing and some gold bars to convince him to take me to him.'

'Anyways, My friend was very surprised to see me. Blamed me for leaving him behind a long time ago.'

'To explain this: A long time ago, He and I were involved in a helicopter crash. I thought for the longest time that I was the only 1 who survived.'

'A few weeks later, when that bitch showed up where I was staying (I was staying with some nice monks) and had a gun pointed at me, and he was taken down and I smacked him (that's nothing compared to what I later wished I could do to him), I went to see my friend again.'

'I kept trying to explain to him that I had no way of knowing if he was still alive, at one point, he even showed me what his back looked like after months of torture. It was a truly awful sight. He then told me what his life was like after he was left behind. I felt really bad for him.'

'I then asked how much money that bitch wanted for him, that's when it was revealed that he didn't want him at all, he wanted ME!'

'I had walked into a trap, and never knew about it until it was too late. I still wonder today at just how I didn't even suspect there was something wrong.'

'It was 3 months before my people found me. In those 3 months, I was humiliated (like literally kicked out of a barrel into mud), half starved and slightly malnurished, threatened with a beyond grusome death that I will not say here! And beaten (I was in quite a terrible position when my team got to me), and stuck with truth serum.'

'It took 2 months before I went back to work. In the days between, I had terrible nightmares, struggled to open up with what had happened to me with a therapist (I eventually did open up but it took a while.).'

'And to add to this, the woman who replaced my now dead partner, turned on my team by forcing them to do a suicide mission that almost got them killed! I saw them get blown up.'

'I took this mission, because I knew what it was like to suffer like the victims I have seen throughout these past 7 months, and to maybe help myself. Because the truth is, even if I managed to get through being questioned in Washington without getting violent, I wasn't sure if I could immediately go back to work as if nothing had happened.'

'The truth is, I needed a mental break for a bit. But it's been 7 months, and I wish I could be with my team right now.'

'Opening up like this, even with myself, is hard for me. I figured today was right.'

'Oh, have to go now, just got a text saying I have to be in the squad/tech room. Good night.'

End recording 12

Endnote: Most of this is canon from Season 9. Some of it (like the nightmares and the therapy, which I've brought up in a few of my fics like The Color of Rain, Her Safe Space, and a few of my one shots in my new soon to start publishing one shot collection, and the assuming she'd take time off if Season 10 didn't have to be changed because of… Not gonna mention it.) was my handy work.