I don't own the story or the characters of Harry Potter, this work is entirely fan-made. The rights to everything Harry Potter belong to J.K Rowling. I also have no beta or proof-reader (at least not a human one) so expect some mistakes from time to time.
"Very good Miss Bones. Can anyone else tell me what features or distinctions Red Caps have that make them stand out among their possibly related elven species? Yes, Miss Granger?" Lupin said, pointing to a diagram and making annotations of a Red Cap on the chalkboard. Hermione put her hand down and described the Red Cap's love of human blood. "It is said that a Red Cap will hide underground, as Susan said, but mainly where human blood has been spilt, such as on a battlefield. They will also dye their caps red with blood, if particularly primitive." Hermione turned her mouth up in disgust and accepted her points for Gryffindor. Lupin carried on as if she had not just described an incredibly gory habit of the Red Cap. "So, in conclusion, the Red Cap is highly dangerous to any unprepared and unaware magical or muggle person. They hide in the ground and saturate their caps and holes with available blood. They are repulsed by pure beauty, so if there is not a potion on hand, make sure you know the right spells. That will be your homework for the next lesson: to look up possible ways to repel a Red Cap if a beautification potion is not at hand, and as a treat, I have a practical session on… boggarts. You should know what one is and if you wish not to participate, which we will not make fun of people for," he glared at Seamus Finnigan and Zacharias Smith, notorious for that very thing "you need only tell me before the class starts or as and when the time arises. For this lesson, we will be using the spell we went over last week: Riddikulus. Be warned, they know your greatest fear in an instant, so choose carefully whether you wish to participate." Lupin finished his sentence by looking between Harry and Zoe, with am odd look of guilt in his eyes. "Class dismissed." Lupin strode around to the back of his desk and started to grade some work from the sixth years and did not meet Harry's gaze; he was now standing in front of the teacher's desk.
"You aren't planning on excluding me from the boggart practical, are you? You didn't seem very sure about letting me do it." The tired man looked up and met his nephew's eyes, which were attempting to look determined and intimidating. "Harry, I… I can't think that you should be allowed to do it, considering your, um… history of traumatic events." The younger boy gaped and looked incredibly insulted, though he could see where Professor Lupin was coming from. It wasn't every day that someone fought a basilisk or survived the most feared Dark Lord in nearly half a decade. "It just worries me is all. You haven't had the best experiences of school possible, and that is partly down to a Basilisk and a Dark Wizard… Tell you what, you and Zoe come and see me after dinner and we can discuss the matter of what or who your boggart is. Now, I believe you have a certain girlfriend just outside the door waiting for you. Chop chop, wouldn't want to miss your date." Remus smiled and waved a miffed Harry away. Hermione had indeed been waiting outside of the Defence classroom for him, along with Hannah and Neville. He noticed a distinct lack of sister in the group and pondered internally on it. However, Neville was able to read him like a book. "She said she had to go and find someone and tell them something. Don't know who, but she left in a hurry, so they can't be very dignified." Hermione smiled and attempted to lighten her boyfriend's mood: "Maybe she's off snogging Draco Malfoy like he so desperately wants." Harry deadpanned and frowned slightly, giving her a slight chuckle. "Nevermind, she just needs to come with me to Uncle Moo- Remus' room after dinner to discuss work." His girlfriend's eyebrows shot up and she giggled at him. "Why, you are on top of the class. I'm pretty sure you have an O*+ if that's even possible. And I am confident that it has nothing to do with family ties at all." Harry grinned and pressed a kiss to Hermione's forehead. "What would I do without you here, my love." He said, knowing the answer. "Probably get into more trouble than you already do, besides, you love me too much to leave me alone."
Dinner was strained, at best, as Zoe had come marching over and had slipped into the spot next to Neville over 25 minutes later than dinner started and, given that the Potter's had insatiable appetites, it was a rare occurrence. Harry's face said all that it needed to: 'Why are you late and where were you?' If he had said it out loud, he would have used his 'protective older brother' voice. She answered with a semi-guilty look, making sure to cover up her rapidly covering face with the scarf that nearly every student wore in October. "I was just over at the Slytherin table talking to D-," Harry started to silently snarl, "-Daphne Greengrass. Yeah, we became pretty good friends in potions and started to hang out when we aren't in class. What, did you think that I would say I agreed to go out with the ferret? Please, he doesn't have a chance unless he changes his attitude, character and entire personality very rapidly." With a sceptical look, Harry continued to eat and they all finally got to dessert, his favourite course. "Nice, treacle tart! I need to go and thank the elves in the kitchen after this." Hermione smacked him on the arm. "Don't say that unless you actually are going to thank them. They are slaves and deserve all the praise that you give them straight to their ears." The wizard-raised people around them all facepalmed and looked at her with disapproving eyes, bar Harry and Neville; Zoe had stayed quiet since the late arrival. "Hermione, if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times. The elves are not slaves, they are treated far better than any in the world here. They have all of the same rights as we do in these walls." Hermione needed to learn that the elves, especially in Hogwarts were treated well and were not there because of anyone but themselves. "I want more proof than just your word." She said stubbornly, sighing and turning her head away from the group.
"So, what exactly is your problem with us having a shot at a boggart? Don't you think we could do this spell?" Zoe asked, sipping on her tea that Remus had brought them. "No, in fact, I think the opposite of you in that regard. Together, I reckon you could teach practical defence to the year if I wasn't here." The twins smiled in gratitude. "Now, I'm going to ask you a question and you need to answer it without a second thought. What do you fear most, above all else?" He asked the two kids, who were in thought for a moment. "The Basilisk," Zoe admitted, looking down from her Uncle's eyes, feeling as if she would be judged. Harry opened his mouth and a whisper came out. "Pardon, Harry?" Lupin asked. The young boy sighed "The Dementor from the train. But that isn't the only thing. It just makes me feel helpless. The other one is, I guess... more simple to understand, but it isn't a fear, per se. It's more of a dream that won't go away and I know that its not real. It's my family. You two, Mum, Dad, Sirius, Neville… Hermione: dead at my feet by Voldemort's hand." The room was eerily silent for a moment, the loudest thing being the rustling of the curtains on the windows. "I can now see why you didn't want us to participate. You thought, correctly in my case, that it could be Voldemort. But rest assured, that isn't what would show up. I could show the dementor in class, right?" He sounded pained, struggling to get words out. "It is up to you two. If you wish to face the boggart, you may do so. I will step in if you need assistance… Now, I think you should both be off to bed. Goodnight." As they trudged back to Gryffindor tower, Harry broke the strained silence. "I'm not crazy for fearing a dementor, am I?" Zoe shook her head, still baffled at his deepest fears. Not his death, not a responsibility, but the death of his whole family. "No. No, I don't think that. If anything, it makes you somewhat wise. I guess since a dementor is the embodiment of fear, sadness and trauma, that is what you fear. Fear itself. That can't be any worse than Draco Malfoy's worst nightmare, can it? Maybe it's Hermione as the Minister for Magic, or worse, the Headmistress, that would freak him out." They laughed along the hallways, seeing fewer people as they edged closer to curfew.
The next morning was a cold one, both in temperature and in the atmosphere. No one smiled at breakfast, but somehow the Headmaster managed to retain the signature twinkle in his eye. Glum was the prevailing emotion that swept across the castle as the Dementors worked their magic again, turning the students and faculty of Hogwarts into depressing shells. Some teachers even lost their edges, such as Snape not even the capacity to deal with a blown-up cauldron and a lost fingernail. Professor Trelawney even stopped predicting death for one moment while she regained some complexion in her face. Harry's final lesson of the day was the boggart practical in Defence. Every student in that class had signed up to do it: none had opted out. Questions about other people's fears were thrown about in the hallway outside of the classroom before Lupin let them in and bade them be quiet. "Today, you shall face a boggart. Can anyone tell me what one is to recap with? Yes, Mr, Macmillan?" He gave him the definition and earned five points for Hufflepuff, wearing a smirk too large for the simple answer. They had all noticed the large wardrobe in the middle of the room, waiting and occasionally shaking. The handle would rattle, but wouldn't budge. A locking charm, most assumed to keep the boggart in for now. "Everyone, form an orderly line behind Mr Longbottom. And don't push or shove, please." Lupin decided to lighten the mood and put some music on to ease the nerves. He walked up to Neville, whose normally stoic face showed only quivering and pale features. "Right, Neville. Do you know what your boggart will turn into?" He nodded and whispered it to the Professor, eliciting a chuckle from him. "And I understand that you live with your Grandmother?" He nodded and whispered something to Lupin again, who said something back, giving Neville a new sense of spirit. "1, 2, 3." Lupin opened the wardrobe door.
Out of the dark shadows of the wardrobe came a figure draped in black, whose cloak billowed behind him. Professor Snape's beady eyes stared right back at Neville's, who was shakily pulling out his wand. Some of the class gave half-hearted laughs at Neville's boggart, though they were cut off with a raised eye from Professor Lupin. "Remember the incantation everyone, Riddikulus. Neville, go on." Neville pointed his wand and gave it a small wave, crying "Riddikulus!" and suddenly the potions master was wearing a long, green dress and a hat adorned with a stuffed vulture, carrying a red handbag. The class laughed uproariously and Lupin started a round of applause as the boggart started to look around confusedly. "Alright, next!" Some music was in full swing as the class took turns with the boggart. "Riddikulus!" A mummy to an unwrapped skeleton which fell to the floor. "Riddikulus!" A banshee whose vocal cords played opera instead of a wail. "Riddikulus!" A basilisk to a balloon animal that resembled a worm. "Hermione. You're up next." Hermione shakily pointed her wand at the boggart which had transformed into Professor McGonagall holding up a failed test, exclaiming "Expulsion!" Hermione used the charm and turned it into McGonagall the white, clearly an imitation of what Hermione imagined Gandalf the White to look like. Harry smiled from behind her. "Brilliant, Hermione. Utterly brilliant." She blushed and went to the back of the room with everyone else who had taken on the boggart already. Everyone but Harry stood in that group, nervously awaiting his boggart. The deputy Headmistress disappeared and in its place, a Dementor. Some students gasped and Lupin held onto his wand with a tight grip, ready to intervene. Harry exhaled through his nose. "Riddikulus." He said calmly, watching the figure come closer. Suddenly, as if playing a practical joke, the boggart ripped its hood down and his Uncle Sirius' head was there and he said: "Boo!" Harry, Lupin and the class all howled in laughter, making the boggart explode into wisps of smoke. "A boggart has its own personal kryptonite: laughter," Lupin said, clapping loudly for the class.
I can't honestly remember if Harry has ever correctly performed Riddikulus, so I couldn't remember if he had a specific type of funny opposite to the Dementor. As such, I thought that this was quite frankly hilarious and fitting. Also, don't me for using the term 'kryptonite' as, full disclosure, I don't remember when it was first used and don't know if Lupin would know what it is.