Hello hello! It's another update!

I haven't had anyone preread this chapter, so if there are mistakes I apologize.

I hope you all are doing well and that you enjoy the chapter!

Light fingers moved over my spine, drawing me out of sleep. I turned my head to find skin and I hummed quietly as the fingers continued to move. I shuffled closer to the warm body beside me and hooked my leg around one of his.

"Morning."

"Mmm, morning," I mumbled as the fingers on my back moved up to my neck and then to my cheek. I cracked my eyes open and gave Dimitri a small smile before purring as his fingers worked my scalp. He chuckled to himself and shifted his body so he came face to face with me. I let my eyes wanted over his face and down his neck, but I zoned in on the faint marks there.

"Pay no mind to that, I don't feel it."

I rolled my eyes and rolled over, burying my head under the pillow. Fuck! I thought that was a nightmare. Which means everything else wasn't either.

Dimitri rolled over me and put one hand beside my waist, leaning down and pressing his lips against my shoulder. The gesture made me relax slightly and I let out a sigh. At least he didn't think I was a monster. That kiss moved to the nape of my neck and brushed over my promise mark, making me shiver.

"Dimitri," I mumbled into the sheets.

"Hmm," he said resting his hand on my lower back, rubbing it in a circle.

"Do you think I'm a bad person? For what I did?"

Dimitri pulled on my shoulder and rolled me to face him, a gentle look on his face.

"No. You defended yourself. It was an accident. Please don't beat yourself up," he said. I nodded and looked up at him with a sigh. I was glad that he didn't think that even if I did. He stroked my cheek tenderly and I leaned into his touch with a smile. I was momentarily lost in his gaze before I remembered that we were expected.

"Oh, crap," I said sitting up, "We need to meet my dad for breakfast."

Dimitri groaned quietly and got up, turning to get close out of the dresser. I leaned back on the bed and used the moment to watch the muscles in his back move. It was slightly erotic and I needed to ignore those stirring feelings or I wouldn't be able to sit through breakfast.

I got up and pulled my shorts on, dreading the idea of having to go back into my room. Dimitri seemed to understand my internal dilemma and came over, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Your room has been cleaned. You can't tell anything happened," he consoled. I sighed and picked up my things walking to the door and waited for him. We headed to my room but I drug my feet, not wanting to go in. Dimitri put a hand on my shoulder and led me in, trying to comfort me as we went in.

My eyes wandered and Dimitri was right, the room had been cleaned and everything was put back where it needed to be. But being in here put a rock in my stomach. I was still shaken up but at the same time, I was pissed. At Howes and at myself. How could I have let that happen? What possessed him to stoop to that level?

I took a few steps in and headed to the dresser, pulling out what I needed before quickly heading to the bathroom to change. I ran a brush through my hair and put it up before venturing back out to find Dimitri sitting on the edge of my bed. He gave me a small smile and stood up to meet me halfway.

"Ready to go?"

I nodded as my stomach growled, making me crack up in a chuckle. The prospect of food made me practically drag Dimitri to where we needed to meet my dad, but he followed along knowing what would happen if he tried to keep me from food.

I rounded the corner and saw Lissa and Eddie sitting at one of the canopied tables and I hurried over, slipping into a seat next to Lissa. She gave me a puzzled look but slid me a glass filled with water. I raised my brow at her as I sipped my water.

We need to talk after this!

I nodded with a furrowed brow but I didn't get a chance to say anything before Dad joined us, sitting down with Pavel and Guardian Tua.

"Good morning, darling," Dad said sitting down next to me. I said good morning as did the others and food was brought to the table. I filled my plate quickly and started eating my eggs and toast while Dad talked.

"I want to apologize for crashing your vacation, but I felt that it was necessary that I come. You need to be aware of things and I wanted to be the one to tell you," Dad started as he sipped his coffee. I looked from him to my friends before looking at the Guardians that joined us. I knew that Pavel and Guardian Tua knew about my abilities, but I wasn't sure about the rest of them. I knew for a fact Eddie and Lissa didn't know.

Dimitri shifted in his seat and put his arm across the back of my chair and drank his coffee while Lissa looked confused. Eddie on the other hand had a blank face and seemed alert, waiting for more information. Dad looked at me and I gave him a short nod for him to continue.

"As you saw yesterday, Rose has some abilities that are beyond what most would exhibit in our society. Even more than what you would see with a Moroi. Rose and I were born with abilities to move things and with enough practice, use our manipulate our abilities to do other things like emotional influence and other things. When she or I feel extreme amounts of emotions it becomes difficult to harness those abilities. Hence what you saw last night."

Lissa looked from me to Dad and then back. "You don't seem surprised," she said to Dimitri.

Dimitri shrugged, "I found out after the attack at the academy."

Lissa frowned, "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked. I could hear the hurt in her voice, and I opened my mouth to tell her why but Eddie interrupted.

"Wait - the bottles falling in your room after I confronted you about Dimitri, wasn't my mind playing a trick on me?"

"You didn't imagine it. I started panicking so it was hard to keep myself in check," I said biting my lip.

"Wait, when did you confront Rose?" Lissa interjected and I signalled with my eyes for Eddie to keep his mouth shut, but Eddie didn't notice it.

"Just after Rose's birthday."

Lissa turned to look at me with raised brows and I cringed back into Dimitri. Ah shit. I'm in trouble now.

We will discuss that later.

Lissa's voice was stern in my head and I flinched. Eddie frowned and gave me an apologetic look, realizing that he may have shared more than he should have, but Dad clearing his throat brought all of our attention back to him. Dad gave me a look and I put a forkful of food into my mouth to prevent me from interrupting him.

"This is part of the reason why Rose was unallocated. I felt that it was unsafe for her to be a sanctioned Guardian until she learned to have full control over her abilities. It wasn't a decision I made lightly. I knew how important being your Guardian was to the two of you," Dad continued as though no interruptions had been made. I met Lissa's gaze again and I could see confliction on her face. I nudged her mind with mine, but her barriers were up like steel walls.

I retracted back and bit my lip and pushed my plate away from me, no longer hungry. Dad continued to explain to Lissa and Eddie about how our abilities worked but I zoned out. Far too much happened in the last two days and I really needed a mental breather.

"May I be excused?" I asked, interrupting Dad. He stopped midsentence and looked to me, nodding as I stood up. Lissa made a motion to follow but I put out a hand to stop her. I just needed a few moments alone.

I made my way quickly to where Dimitri and I went swimming the other day and pulled my shirt and shorts off before diving into the water. It was cool but I enjoyed the freshness of it. I pushed my hair back from my face as I broke the surface and sighed. I could feel Lissa's concern in the back of my mind but I ignored it. I needed to just shut everything off and process what happened yesterday.

I let my body float in the water and I closed my eyes, listened to the water move. I breathed deeply and focused on the water moving over my body as I played the events over. It felt like I was washing the sins of yesterday away. An emotion was trying to push through but it wasn't coming from Lissa. It was understanding and compassion.

It was coming from Dad.

I opened my eyes and started to tread water. It was a strange sensation to feel someone else's emotions, aside from Lissa's, but his positive emotions were blanketing my negative ones. I wasn't sure how long I floated there but I could hear footsteps on the wood and I sighed, turning around to find Dad leaning against the railing.

"Feeling any better?"

I snorted a laugh. "I don't know, you tell me. You seem to be able to feel what I'm feeling."

Dad shrugged and set a towel down on the planks, indicating that he wanted me to get out of the water. I rolled my eyes but obliged him anyway and pulled myself out.

"Wait, if you can feel my emotions, is it all the time?"

"No, only when they are particularly strong emotions. I could tell that you were extremely 'happy' the other night, for example," he said while raising a brow at me.

I suppressed a shudder as my eyes widened like saucers. Oh gross, my dad could feel how 'happy' I was with Dimitri the other night. Dad's laugh interrupted my thoughts.

"I see you've come to the realization. How do you think I felt?" he chuckled. I shook my head and buried it in the towel, groaning and mentally cursing him. I shook my head and wrapped the towel around my shoulders before leaning back on my hands.

"How did Lissa take it?" I asked quietly, kicking my feet in the water. Dad shifted his weight and slipped his shoes off before joining me, letting his feet dangle in the water.

"She was quiet and a little hurt. She said that she was disappointed that you hadn't told her about your abilities, and it's clear that she was upset that Castile knew about you and Belikov before she did. But to be honest, if she was paying attention she would have noticed. I did within a few weeks."

I nodded and chewed my lip, taking it in. I knew Lissa would be upset that I didn't tell her about my abilities, but I didn't want to add any more stress on her while she was dealing with learning her Spirit. Not to mention, I didn't want to worry her. And then with Dimitri, I hadn't meant for Eddie to find out before her, but Dad was right, if she really had paid attention, she would have seen it too.

"Where is she now?" I asked.

"I believe she went for a walk with Castiel. Belikov is waiting for both of us."

I nodded again and sighed. "Will you teach me how to do that? The whole emotion thing? I can do it with Lissa, but it would be cool to learn that too. Do it extend to other people?"

Dad chuckled and nodded his head. "Yes, I can teach you, and yes it extends to other people. I used to use it on your mother all the time, not that she ever knew," Dad said with a wink.

I gasped and smirked at him, bumping him with my shoulder. "Dad, you manipulated Mom?" I gasped in faux horror but started laughing halfway through.

Dad laughed. "I didn't manipulate her, I simply calmed her when she was angry. It was very helpful when she went into labour with you, by the way."

"How do you do it?" I asked, wanting to know more.

"Relax your mind. The first few times you do it will feel…strange. Relax your mind and your body and let yourself connect to your power, but not let it break through the barrier we keep it behind. It's a form of meditation. Breathe deeply and feel the power stretch through your whole body."

I closed my eyes and did what he said. If anyone thought I looked weird, I didn't care. I searched until it felt like there was a golden rush through my body, moving from my chest to my fingers and toes. I reached out and it was similar to pulling the darkness from Lissa, but I didn't want to pull anything from anyone. I wanted to project. It was like I had a 360 view around me. My energy looked gold like Dad and Lissa's. I could see Dad's energy glow next to me and I gently stretched further, finding another.

The energy there was calm and still, and if I had to put a colour to it, it would be turquoise. I focused on that person and projected happiness, given that it was an emotion that readily available inside me. But as quickly as I made contact, all the projected energy snapped back to me and my eyes opened. A small gasp escaped my lips as I opened my eyes. I looked at Dad and he had a small smile on his face.

"Did I do it right?" I asked

"You did," Dad said softly, "You did very well. Do you know who you reached out to?"

I shook my head. "No, I couldn't see anyone per se, but I could feel 'see' their energy if that makes sense."

Dad stood up and offered me a hand which I took and stood up. I quickly put my clothes on and linked arms with him.

"Eventually you will learn how to see people when you reach out. I poked around your mind while you were reaching out; it doesn't surprise me that the first person you found beside me and Lissa was Belikov. You're familiar with him. The more familiar you are with someone, the easier it is for you to find them. Eventually, you'll be able to reach the people you are most familiar with farther away. If I try hard enough now, I might be able to give your mother a flicker of emotional change, but it wouldn't be strong."

"How long would it take for me to learn how to do it better?"

Dad grimaced and shrugged, which was funny to see him do. "It wouldn't take long, but you're still unstable. Nowhere near as you were when we meet again a few months ago, but still unstable. When your vacation is over, I'd like to spend some time teaching you."

I smiled and wrapped both arms around his bicep and leaned my head against his shoulder.

"That would be amazing, but I still need to find a job. I can't support myself without money," I said with a frown.

Dad patted my head with a laugh, "Don't worry about that darling, there has been a bank account in your name since you were a child. It's yours to use."

I frowned and nodded my head. As great as that was, I didn't want to use his money, I wanted to work for it. Maybe it was my upbringing, but it felt like taking his money was the easy way out. Plus, where did that money come from?

I rolled onto my back when a knock on the door disrupted me. So much for having a decent nap. I had taken one after seeing Dad because of the amount of practicing I did. It felt like some days I could go for longer but it depended on what I was practicing.

"Come in," I called out through a yawn.

The door cracked open and Lissa poked her head in, her eyes finding me quickly before coming in and sitting down on the edge of the bed. Lissa played with the edge of the blanket before opening her mouth and then closing it again. She looked down in her lap before tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear.

"We're you ever going to tell me?" she asked quietly, still looking at the blanket.

I sat up and reached out to her, placing my hand on top of hers.

"Of course, Lissa. I just didn't know how or when. I guess I just wanted a better handle on it before I told you. I thought I could control it until the attack at the academy. After that I found out about Dad and then he told me that I had so much to learn," I explained, trying to give her comfort in the fact that I didn't do it to hurt her.

"What do you mean you thought you had control?"

I sighed and laid back down. "I practiced a lot when we were on the run, which explains why I was so moody. I could move small objects and I had a better handle when I get upset, but if I get really emotional, it's hard to control. Dad and Dimitri have been teaching me how to do things while fighting, and Dad is starting to teach me how to use my abilities with emotions. It's all mental."

Lissa knitted her brows together and laid down next to me, curling up on her side. I poked into her mind to find that she was calmer now, but that was all that I could get from her. She had her mental barriers up, but small bits and pieces flitted through. I waited patiently as she mulled everything over, but I was still sleepy, so I let my eyes drift close. I was almost asleep again when she poked my shoulder and I snapped my eyes open.

"Why did you tell Eddie about you and Dimitri before me?"

"I didn't tell him willingly. He found out of his own. Hell, I thought he was going to turn us in, but he eventually came around. I always planned on telling you when we graduated. I didn't tell you first not because I didn't trust you, but the fewer people that knew the safer it was."

Lissa nodded and gave me a tight-lipped smile before changing the subject.

"Are you ok? I mean with what happened last night?"

I shrugged and bit my lip. "I guess. I'm still not a fan of being in here right now, but I can't let that hold me back, right? I just wish I knew why."

Lissa reached out and grabbed my hand. "I did a little investigating on that. Apparently, Guardian Howes was relieved from his previous charge because he was being inappropriate with his charge's daughter. I don't know how he managed to get that swept under the rub, but there were multiple complaints."

I was stunned but I was enraged at the same. If he had a prior record it could easily have been Lissa that he attacked. How could the allocation committee not notice the pattern? Tatiana herself assigned him to Lissa for Christ's sake! Although a part of me was glad that it was me and not her, at least I could defend myself.

"When we get back, I'm teaching you some self-defence," I stated firmly. Lissa nodded with a slight chuckle.

"Do you want me to heal the bruise on your shoulder? I know I healed your shoulder but there is still a bruised."

"No but thank you. I'm used to having bruises."

I scrubbed my head while trying to practice visualizing peoples' energy, and I was glad that I was starting to learn this because it was easier to tell if anyone came in. I watched the turquoise energy move towards the shower, stopping to strip off their clothing before stepping in behind me.

"Hi Comrade," I said without opening my eyes. Dimitri didn't say anything but chuckled, wrapping his arm around my waist and kissing my shoulder.

"How did you know it was me? I could have been an axe murderer," he asked and I hummed, leaning back into him.

"Dad and I were practicing earlier, I tried sending you happy emotions, but I wasn't sure if you felt them. You have a certain colour about you, and I could see your colour moving towards me."

I turned to rinse the suds out of my hair, giving Dimitri room to step under the stream too. With my head tipped back, it gave him ample opportunity to press his lips against my forehead.

"I felt. It was small, but it felt it. Like a flicker of a feeling. You're getting better," he replied. I hummed and reached for the conditioner and coated my curls with it before giving him my attention again. I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his chest while he washed his hair. I felt funny feeling his muscles move under my cheek, but I didn't want to move.

"Lissa said she found out some more information about Guardian Howes."

"I know. I was there when she found out. I spoke to his previous charge too. I hate to say it, but he's better off dead. I would have killed him if you hadn't," Dimitri said bluntly, making me look up at him. His face softened when the realization of his words hit him and he cupped my face, brushing his thumbs over my cheekbones.

"I would do anything to protect you, Roza. Don't ever forget that."

I nodded and pressed my lips to his chest before stretching up to kiss him on the mouth. He met me halfway and pulled me closer to him while simultaneously moving us back into the glass wall, his free hand coming to rest beside my head. His mouth was firm against mine and it distracted me from his hand moving from the small of my back to my waist. A laugh bubbled from my lips as he started to tickle my side and he joined in with my laughter.

"I've got to make you laugh at least once a day," he said through his laughter, kissing my nose and pulling us both back under the stream of water. I chuckled and poked his nose, unable to remove the smile from my lips.

"I love you, Comrade."

Dimitri smiled and kissed my forehead again. "I love you too."

I hummed and pressed myself against him as we moved back under the spray, breathing in time with his. While his embrace was loving around me I could feel slight tension in his body. I lifted my head and looked at him, raising my brows in silent question.

He wasn't looking at me. He was looking at empty air instead. I slid my hands up his chest and it seemed to startle him from his train of thought, his hands moving up and down my back gently.

"What's on your mind, Comrade?"

His lips quirked before he bit his lip as he took a moment to think.

"How are you feeling? Really feeling?"

I shrugged and resed my cheek back on his chest.

"A bit of me feels fine, but the rest of me is more upset with myself."

"Why are you upset with yourself?" he asked, his tone filled with surprise. I sighed and looked back up at him, worrying my lip between my teeth.

"Because I feel like I failed. I'm a Guardian and Howes still got the upper hand on me. I mean, what if Lissa was there?! I would have failed at protecting her! I should have known better, and I should have been able to defend myself better," I said, the words spilling from my mouth faster and faster.

I watched something dark creep into Dimitri's graze as his grip around me tightened. I looked down at his chest, feeling like I had let him down too. One arm unwrapped from my body and the shower turned off before I was gently pulled out of the shower. I wrapped a towel around myself and sighed deeply.

"Rose."

I looked up timidly at Dimitri, flinching at the heavy look in his eyes. He had every right to be disappointed in me. He trained me better than this. He put so much time into building me into a Guardian and I failed to protect myself.

"Rose," he said softer, cupping my cheeks in his hand. "I don't ever want to hear you say what happened was in any way your fault again. Do you understand me?"

My brows scrunched together and he sighed, kissing my forehead.

"If this was anyone's fault, it was his! You were assaulted, not the other way around. He preyed on you in the privacy of your own bedroom. He took advantage of your guard being down somewhere where you felt safe. Regardless of what you think, you did not fail. Don't ever think that you were at fault for this," he pleaded against my skin, his hands holding me tenderly as his thumbs stroked my wet skin.

I bit my lip and closed my eyes. But I did feel like I failed.

Dimitri pulled back enough to look down at me. "Say it."

"It wasn't my fault," I said quietly. He nodded his head and gave me a small kiss before heading into the bedroom. Maybe I'd believe it one day.

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