Chapter Twelve:
The last three weeks of school seemed to fly by, much to Claire's excitement.
The girls' last day was today, and Claire is trying to finish up her last bit of paperwork before she heads home. She won't be returning for the next few weeks now that she put in her time off. Jamie had made a good point all those weeks ago about waiting until the girls were out for summer break. The weeks apart had been some of the hardest of her life, but she and Jamie made sure to FaceTime every night with the girls, and usually after bedtime as well, to make sure they never felt too far apart. And now that her sabbatical has been approved, she wants to tell Joe before she up and disappears.
He comes into her office at the end of a shift, pouring them each a glass of whisky. "You got that look."
She looks up from her paperwork, the ones confirming her sabbatical. "Hmm?"
Joe smirks, sitting down in the chair across from her desk. "You have that same look you had when you came back from Spain."
"What, relaxed?" she jokes, knowing Joe had been curious about her European vacation ever since she came back with a glow that she wasn't allowed to explain.
"You ever gonna tell me what really happened over there?"
Fuck. She wishes she could.
"There's nothing to tell, Joe," she laughs, taking a sip of her drink. "You know that. I was with Frank while I was there."
"Fuck Frank," he declares with a grin, holding up his glass in a salute.
She laughs, shaking her head as she toasts with him.
Joe was never Frank's biggest fan, something he and Murtagh wholeheartedly agreed on, and now that it's over, she can't help but be amused by their dislike of the man.
"You find yourself a lover while over there or something?"
She snorts derisively, if only he knew. "Something like that," she mumbles before she can truly think about the implications of her words.
"Jesus," Joe laughs, slapping the desk, "I can't believe you held out on me. Is that who you had a date with the other week?"
Claire closes her eyes, cursing herself for the slip of the tongue.
She sets the whisky down, admitting that there was no date. She tells Joe much the same story as Geillis had unintentionally spun that morning at her house, and she feels that all too familiar twist in her gut as she lies to her best friend, the guilt gnawing away at her.
"But, I did want to tell you…" She takes a deep breath, making sure his eyes are connected with hers, truly listening, "I'm taking a sabbatical."
Joe's head tilts to the side, studying her for a moment.
"Ah, LJ," he breathes, reaching across the desk to take her hand in hers. "I've been able to tell for a while that you were struggling. Is this going to help?" he asks, "Because if so, I'm all for supporting you."
She smiles, eyes misting over as she confesses that she just needs some time. "Breaking up with Frank just brought back a lot of memories of Jamie," she admits, feeling a pit of dread in her stomach at using her not-so-dead husband's death as a reason, but what else can she say? "I just want to get away with the girls for a while since they're on summer break now."
Her friend nods, squeezing her hand. "I get it," he states, smiling broadly, "and I'm a bit jealous. What I wouldn't give to have a few weeks off from this place."
Laughing, she smacks his hand, saying he'd never leave for weeks on end. "You love it here far too much."
Joe simply shrugs, knowing she's right and she grins, finishing off her whisky before she heads home.
{*******************}
She's invited Murtagh and Jocasta over for dinner to see the girls. It's been difficult over the last month and a half, trying to avoid their godfather as much as possible.
He'd come by the other week, checking in and letting her know he knew she'd been avoiding him. She'd felt bad, tried to explain it away by saying she was busy.
She was thankful he hadn't dropped by unannounced while Jamie was still in town, so when he did, she was able to let him in without worrying too much that he might see Jamie's shoes or some other sign of her husband's existence. She'd distracted him from his inquisition by telling him that she broke up with Frank, which brought a smile to the grumpy old man's face, larger than she's seen in a while, which made her laugh.
Tonight, however, there's no getting around it.
Her godfather and Jocasta arrive, and Claire had also invited Geillis to come over. She doesn't even ask if Dougal is coming because she knows the answer will be no; he avoids anything that isn't work related at all costs, even if they are family.
"No Dougal, then?" Murtagh asks, walking into the kitchen and eyeing Geillis up.
Jocasta smacks his chest, telling him to behave.
Waving him off, Geillis smirks as she says her Dougal is working late.
"Hm," Murtagh grumps, growling under his breath, "sure."
Rolling her eyes, Claire calls the girls up from the playroom, their little feet bounding up in excitement, their squeals filling the kitchen when they see Aunt Geillis, Uncle Murtagh and Aunt Jocasta.
"Och, I've missed ye lasses sae much," Murtagh exclaims, scooping Brianna into his arms and kissing her cheek.
Jocasta swings Faith into her arms, kissing her cheeks and burying her nose in the crook of her neck as she blows a raspberry there. "Good tae see ye, lass!" she exclaims, peppering more kisses before letting her down gently, knowing she really wants her favorite Uncle Murtagh.
"What about me?!" Faith exclaims, giggling as her godfather places Bree down to pick her up, showering her with smooches as well.
Claire smiles, watching the interaction. She'll miss this, knows the girls will miss their aunts and uncle as well, but having their father back is far more important. And being in North Carolina isn't forever, they'll be back for the trial.
Dinner goes off without a hitch, the older couple and Geillis all teaching the girls some more phrases in Gaelic.
Murtagh has spent years trying to teach Claire, much to his own dismay.
Jamie had tried, bless him, but she just couldn't seem to grasp some of the wording, and he always claimed she was a terrible student.
She wrote Jamie a love note one time during university that was so poorly translated, he'd had to show Murtagh. They got a good laugh out of it, Murtagh claiming she even misspelled the word help and swore he'd eventually teach her correctly. And he did, every chance he got, especially once Jamie died. It had become the old man's mission… and a good excuse for him to come over and make sure she was alright.
She listens now as Faith and Brianna both repeat after their aunts and uncle, little Gaelic phrases that Claire tries to memorize too.
"We can tell Daddy that one!" Brianna laughs, causing Claire's stomach to drop.
Their guests all give her equal parts sympathetic and questioning gazes as the room goes silent save for Brianna's rambling of her newly learned vocabulary. Claire looks quickly from her daughters to their family, smiling awkwardly. Faith's eyes have gone wide, but Brianna seems oblivious to her slip of the tongue.
"Yes, baby," she says, running her fingers through Brianna's straight hair. "You can tell him all the new Gaelic you're learning next time we go to the graveyard."
Brianna's little face turns to her in confusion, eyebrows knitted together, but she seems to quickly realize her mistake, face smoothing out as she nods, going back to coloring in the coloring book she'd brought from downstairs.
Shit.
The room grows silent. Faith quickly picks up a crayon, leaning in and pointing to something in Bree's coloring book to distract herself from the adults.
Claire looks around, her heart beating so rapidly, she's afraid it will leap from her chest.
After another pregnant pause, Jocasta asks solemnly, "Have ye been to see him lately?" as the air between them all grows sullen.
Claire shakes her head, saying they haven't been since a few days before Spain. "I need to take them again… before we leave."
"Leave?" Geillis asks as Faith sits in her lap, getting her hair played with. Geillis' head cocks to the side, asking, "Where're ye going?"
She takes a deep breath, sending the girls off to play now that dinner is over. "You girls head downstairs."
"Yes, ma'am," they say in unison, Faith hoping from Geillis' lap while Brianna collects her crayons. They scurry down the steps, and Claire takes another deep, steadying breath as all eyes fall back on her.
"That's why I wanted you all to come over tonight."
"What is it, lass?" Murtagh asks, his bushy eyebrows lifting in concern. "Ye canna be worryin' a old coot like me like this, ye ken."
Claire closes her eyes, willing her heart to calm down. She tells them that she took some time off from the hospital, giving them much the same excuse as she'd given Joe earlier, saying she just needed some time away.
"Things have been really hard lately," she sighs, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. "We'll leave in about a week," she says, clearing her throat, "once we get some things packed up."
"How long will ye be gone?" Jocasta asks, reaching over to take her hand, her other resting gently in Murtagh's.
Claire shrugs, saying she has two months off of work, but they'll probably be back before that. "I just want the girls to enjoy their summer break without me being gone so much at the hospital, but we'll be back before school starts again."
Geillis nods, and Claire looks to Murtagh who has gone silent.
She can see him thinking, the news going through his mind. His brows furrow, and he strokes his chin, contemplating his next words as he glances over to his wife.
She's always admired that about Jamie's godfather. He's the quiet type, but always one to think heavily before speaking, an attribute she wishes she possessed more often.
Claire can feel her hand shaking inside of Jocasta's as she waits for the man to speak, everyone's eyes on him.
"Weel… as long as ye and the lasses are happy," he finally says, smiling softly in her direction, "then I canna fault ye for wantin' a wee bit of time off from th' job."
Claire beams, knowing that they will be; they'll be happier than ever getting to be with Jamie again.
Their guests stay for another hour, all cuddling the girls as if they'll never see them again.
Geillis leaves first, peppering kisses to the girls' cheeks and making Claire promise to see her again before they leave, which she agrees to.
Murtagh stands back, propping himself on the edge of the couch while Claire closes the door.
"Ye sure this is just about wantin' a vacation?"
Sighing, she joins him and the girls in the living room. Claire sits on the floor, pulling Brianna into her lap while the girls play with the dolls at the coffee table.
"We just want tae make sure everything is alright, ken?" Jocasta inquires in her sweet voice, rubbing Murtagh's shoulder.
"I told you, breaking up with Frank just made me think about a lot of things." She licks her lips, adding, "I realized I wasn't happy being with him, and I just need some time to enjoy the summer with the girls without having to be away so much with work."
"Aye, I heard ye," he grunts, looking from his wife, down to Claire. "Doesna mean I believe ye."
Taking a deep breath, she tries to control her features, knowing Murtagh could always read her almost as well as Jamie.
They talk for a bit longer, Murtagh seemingly deciding that he'd rather spend their last few moments with the girls than trying to sniff out her lie because he joins them at the table, playing with the dolls and making both girls laugh for the next two hours before Claire deems it bath time, and their godfather and godmother make their exit with big kisses and hugs to everyone.
"I'll call ye later," Murtagh says, wrapping her in a warm hug. "Ye ken I love ye, Claire."
She smiles into his shoulder, a wave of emotion swelling up inside her chest. "I love you too, Murtagh," she whispers, pulling back to kiss his cheek.
With another hug to Jocasta, she waves goodbye as they make their way to their car. Smiling, she closes the door, sad to see them go, but glad the weight of tonight is over.
{**********************}
The first weekend of the girls' summer break is spent packing up as many clothes and toys as possible and loading up the car. She's been working over the last three weeks to make sure her neighbor could water her plants and keep an eye on the house, her bills are auto pay so that wasn't a problem, and everything was set into motion.
Depending on the outcome of the trial, they'd either come back to their house here or she'd have to sell it and stay in North Carolina with Jamie, which would present a whole slew of other complications with work, and friends, and… but she'd think about all of that later. Just get through the trial, that was her mantra as of late.
"Ready girls?" she asks, tossing her suitcase into the car.
She checks the bag she has in the front seat, making sure it's loaded with snacks for all of them. Their iPads are charged and ready to go, the girls are in comfortable clothes so no one can complain of anything being itchy or tight, and they're finally ready for their seven hour drive to Wilmington.
She knows that's seven hours for a normal person, not loaded down with two kids, so she's estimating between traffic, bathroom breaks, and other random stops to let the girls run around and stretch their legs, that it'll take them about ten hours.
"Ready!" Faith and Brianna shout in unison, running out of the house, last minute dolls they'd decided were necessary to bring filling their arms.
Claire rolls her eyes, telling them they can each pick one more to bring. "We already have an entire bag full of toys in the car."
Faith decides quickly, running inside to drop off the rest, while Brianna contemplates, sighing as she tells Claire she can't decide.
"I'll pick for you!" Faith says, rushing back to her sister's side.
"No!" Bree shouts, picking a doll quickly, claiming that is the one she wants to bring.
Smirking, Claire takes the rest, putting them back inside while she double checks that all the lights are out, electronics unplugged, and everything is secure.
Locking up the house, she climbs in the SUV, asking the girls if they're buckled and ready to go.
She knows they both just used the restroom, so she's hoping to get a least a few hours down the road before one of them claims they need to pee.
Before pulling away, she sends Jamie a text. Leaving now, see you in 859837 hours ;)
Jamie sends back the laughing emoji, assuring her it won't take quite that long.
She keeps in contact with him throughout the trip, texting him each time they stop, and answering every time he calls for an update.
She and the girls keep themselves entertained, her with the radio and audio books she'd downloaded, and them with their movies playing on the iPads. Thank god for noise cancelling headphones so she could enjoy some music, too.
After a while, Faith switches to a game on her device, while Brianna takes her headphones off, wanting to play a game with Claire.
They decide to play the license plate game, coming up with elaborate stories for each car they passed.
"I bet he's going to California!" Brianna exclaims about a car they see with a kayak attached to the top of it.
"Ye ken California's too far away!" Faith chimes in, locking her iPad and letting it rest on her lap as she joins the game. "I bet he's going to Florida."
Claire watches in the rearview mirror as Brianna rolls her eyes, but they eventually both agree he's going somewhere with water, but they like the beach best so it's officially the beach that the stranger is visiting.
They catch another car in their sight, this time a red sports car speeding down the fast lane, and Faith claims he's on his way to Daytona for the NASCAR race, which makes Brianna and Claire laugh.
After they tire of that game, they switch to car karaoke, singing along to all their Disney favorites, laughing and enjoying the car ride.
After multiple stops, more car games than she could ever imagine, and a late dinner break, they finally make it to North Carolina.
Stepping out of the car, Claire, Faith and Brianna all stretch their legs and arms, Brianna yawning as the long day hits her.
"My lasses!" Jamie calls, stepping out of the house.
The girls run into his arms, squealing happily as he scoops them both up, peppering kisses to their cheeks.
She smiles and watches them, patiently waiting her turn no matter how much she wants to run and jump into his arms as well.
"And a kiss for ye, too," he drawls as she gets closer, kissing her lips chastely. "Come on in! We'll unload the car in a bit."
{*********************}
The safe house is much nicer than what Claire had been imagining. It's a large size, which she should've known seeing as his roommate Fergus also lives there, but Jamie claims it's easy to go days without seeing one another.
Jamie lives in the main part of the house—three bedrooms, a large living room, kitchen and a nice size backyard—while Fergus lives in the mother-in-law suite downstairs with his own two bedrooms, kitchen and living room.
The girls run around and get used to the space, their little giggles filling the house and making both Claire and Jamie smile.
"How was the ride?"
She stretches her arms above her head dramatically. "Long," she laughs, then tells him of all the games they played and music they listened to. "The girls slept for a while, thankfully, and they had movies on their iPads to keep them busy, too. Especially Brianna, I think the movies made her not realize she'd been in the car for so long."
He laughs, and Claire does as well, thinking of their wild child and how restless she could get. She's just glad they made it in one piece and all in one day. "I'm glad we left so early this morning so we could get here tonight without having to stop. And I'm also thankful for energy drinks."
"Aye," he agrees with a snort, pulling her into his arms. "Me too." He kisses her then, both savoring the feel of being in each other's arms again.
"Where's Fergus?" she asks as she pulls back, looking around.
Jamie smiles, saying John sent him on a small getaway with another officer. "Give him a chance to relax, the lad's been working hard lately, especially while I was out of the country." He pecks her lips, pulling her close again. He deepens his kiss, arms tightening around her, and she giggles breathily into the embrace. Jamie's lips hover above hers as he murmurs, "Plus this gives us the whole house to ourselves."
"Mm," she purrs into his mouth, their teeth practically clanging together as they smile dopily into one another's space, "Perfect. Remind me to thank John for that convenient little trip." She closes the minuscule space between them, lips closing as they land on Jamie's once more.
"Knock, knock!" Hector says from the doorway, grinning as he pokes his head in the front door. "Sorry to interrupt."
Claire pulls back from Jamie's lips as he turns to face their guest. "Och, 'tis alright!" he says, walking over to the door to let him in.
Behind him comes Sophia and John, all smiles and hugs as they greet their new friends.
"Sophia!" Faith calls out, both girls running over to the toddler to take her pudgy hands, leading her off to the nook in the back of the living room that they'd already claimed as their play area.
John and Hector pull Jamie off to the side to talk, leaving Claire standing there to look around the house some more.
She sighs, figuring she might as well unload the car while everyone is occupied, so she steps out, unlocking the car and pulling all of their bags and suitcases from it.
She takes a few in, calling out to the girls to come help, and she sweeps Sophia into her arms as the little girl waddles after the older ones as if she was going to help as well.
"And where do you think you're going, miss?" she coos, kissing the girl's chubby little cheek.
Sophia pats at Claire's cheek, then reaches into her mop of curls, tugging on one. "Ouch, you little booger, that's my hair," she laughs, disentangling her tresses from Sophia's grasp.
"Mama, where does this go?" Brianna grunts, hauling her suitcase inside.
Claire chuckles, reaching down to help her set it by the doorway. "I'm not sure which room is yours, darling, we need to wait on Daddy. Let's just get the car unloaded first."
She directs her to set everything by the stairs, and Brianna nods, rushing back to the car to grab her iPad and doll she'd had in the seat with her.
Claire smiles at Faith as she carries her last bag inside, then goes to grab the bag of snacks, checking that everything else had been unloaded.
"'Nacks?" Sophia asks, eyeing the bag as they walk back inside.
"Yes," Claire chuckles, "those are our snacks."
"I can have?"
Giggling, she tells the little girl that's up to her fathers since it's so close to dinner time.
She blows a raspberry to her cheek before setting her down now that the door is closed and locked, watching as she toddles off toward Faith and Brianna.
"Ye look good with a wee one in yer arms," Jamie says, startling her.
She jumps, clasping a hand over her heart, but laughs, admitting she misses when the girls were small like that.
"I ken I saw ye with Faith, but I like to imagine that's how ye would've looked with Bree, too, with wee Faith underfoot."
Grinning softly, she pats him on the chest, knowing this is not a conversation they need to be having right now.
"Did you eat already?" she asks, motioning toward the kitchen.
He says no, leading her that way as John and Hector join them.
She watches Jamie as he fixes grilled cheeses for everyone, Hector heating up the soup Jamie had made earlier.
He's quieter than normal, looks worried after that chat with the guys, but she tells herself not to ask until the girls are asleep. She can only imagine it's nothing good, and she wants to be able to sufficiently worry or freak out without her daughters seeing her.
They call all three of the girls in, everyone enjoying a quick supper before Hector leaves with Sophia, claiming it's past bedtime for her.
"Up you two go," Claire shoos, fanning her hands up the stairs. "It's bath time for you girls as well."
She's thankful her children have never hated bathtime, smiling as both girls climb into the tub, splashing and playing as they get clean.
John stays downstairs while Jamie joins them upstairs, and he watches as Claire handles Faith's hair. She hands Jamie another brush, telling him to comb through Brianna's.
"Like this, Daddy!" Bree says, demonstrating.
He smiles, taking the brush from her little hands and moving it through her straight locks easily.
He's so gentle, even as large as he is, and she grins, listening to Briana ramble on about their car ride and all the cars they saw.
"One guy had a horse trailer attached to his truck," she tells the room, leaning her head back to look at Jamie. "There was a brown horse and a white one. I think the white one had spots, but Mama was going too fast for me to really get a good look."
"I think it had spots," interjects Faith, "looked like black ones. Like your horse, Bree!"
"Yeah!" the younger girl agrees, diving into a story about the horse she rides at lessons, Mickey, and how he has spots, too.
Her eyes catch Jamie's as he listens to his daughters prattle on about this and that, and a sense of warmth comes over her. She realizes that she's not fearful here, isn't looking over her shoulder, nor does she have that looming sense that someone is watching them, even in her own home, like she sometimes does back in Georgia.
This is comfortable, working together to ready their girls for bed, the smell of their kid shampoo wafting through the air.
They both kiss the girls goodnight, turning out the light as Brianna climbs into bed with Faith, her arms wrapping around her older sister.
{*********************}
When they get downstairs, John is on the couch, still waiting for them and that sense of dread from earlier begins to fill her.
She remembers Jamie's face before dinner, after his talk with John and Hector, and she wonders if they are related.
"What's wrong?" she asks bluntly, joining John on the couch.
Jamie sits in the armchair beside her, taking her hand in his.
Claire looks from Jamie back to John, irritation growing as no one speaks.
"Damn it, someone tell me what's going on."
John sighs, looking to Jamie, then back to Claire as he inhales sharply. "There's been a new development in the case, Claire," he says, sighing, "an issue."
"Issue? What kind of issue?" she asks, grasping Jamie's hand tighter. Just then, a roar of thunder rolls through, and if this weren't such a serious moment, Claire would laugh at how the weather outside so perfectly mirrors the emotions in her mind right now.
With a heavy exhale, Jamie and John explain to her that someone has leaked that Jamie might be alive.
"What?" she asks worriedly, Jamie squeezing her hand in comfort.
John takes over, informing her that they've been working hard over the last few weeks to squash that rumor. "Jamie's been staying inside more, hasn't even been working on the farm except when it was strictly necessary," John says, telling her it was important for him to stay hidden so close to the trial date so that it didn't all get shot to hell and all their meticulous work didn't go down the drain.
She shakes her head, almost involuntarily, images of all their hard work over the last six years swirling down the drain. "No," she mumbles, "Who would know that? We've been so safe…"
"I ken, I ken, we have," Jamie says, trying to calm her. "We dinna ken, Sassenach, that's why we have tae be so careful leading up to trial."
She feels the tears leak from her eyes, a lump forming in her throat. "Is everything… going to be okay?"
John stands, motioning for Jamie to take his place on the couch, and when he does, Jamie takes both her hands in his, bringing them up to kiss her knuckles. His mouth stays planted there, and she can feel him trembling as well. "I think so," he says, pulling away to look into her golden eyes. "We just have to be extra cautious."
She nods, looking over her shoulder at John and back to Jamie, suddenly worried as she thinks of their daughters. "The girls?"
"They're safe, mo nighean donn," he says sincerely, pulling her closer to him. "John has assured me they'll be fine. We'll stay in the house as much as possible, too." He says Hector or John will run errands for them, only sending Claire out if and when necessary, and suddenly this time away from home sounds so much harder than she naively planned originally.
Part of her wants to be angry that John didn't tell them sooner what was happening, feels like they should've discussed this right when John found out, but logically she knows he didn't want them to worry, especially with her home with the girls. She's irritated, but at the same time, she's glad he didn't inform her earlier because she would've been a useless ball of anxiety all this time. She closes her eyes, trying to work everything out. They will just have to be careful, but at least they're together.
She nods, worried, but attempting to be brave. She goes through every interaction she's had since finding Jamie, seeing if there was some way, time or place she could have let it slip without knowing, if she could be the cause of all of this…
"This is not yer fault, Claire, ye hear me?"
Biting her lip, she nods again, softly asking if he's sure.
John chimes in, saying the leak was in no way related to her and for her not to worry. "I'm going to place a patrol car outside for extra security, okay? That way you guys can sleep knowing there's nothing to worry about."
"Plus John and Hector live right next door, ken?" Jamie grins, trying to lighten the mood. "If something were tae go wrong, they're right there to help." Her eyes must widen in fear at that, because his expand, too, shaking his head and hands as if in surrender. "Not that anything will go wrong, Sassenach."
Taking a deep breath, she nods, unsure of what else to do.
With that, John stands, peeking out the window to double check that the undercover car is set up in place. "Morton's here, that's good," he says, turning to look at the couple. "Everything will be alright, Claire."
He gives them each a hug, holding Claire a little longer in reassurance before he slips on his rain jacket and leaves, walking next door to his house for the night.
Once he's gone, Jamie and Claire make their way upstairs, completely exhausted.
It's been a long day, especially for her, but once they're alone, they're hands begin to wander, finding each other again after so many weeks apart.
Their clothes get tossed to the floor, Jamie's lips on her skin, drawing soft pants and muffled moans from her as she clamps a hand over her mouth, coming around her husband for the first time in weeks.
As they lay there, naked and satiated, their bodies curled together, Jamie trails his fingertip along her shoulder blade.
"I was sae scared tonight when John told me," he admits quietly, almost as if he's ashamed of feeling that way. "For so long, I felt as if I were hiding under a blade of grass, always worried someone would see me, recognize me, and really kill me wi' out ye ever knowing I was actually alive."
He sniffles, and her head tilts, reaching up to wipe at his damp cheeks.
"Everything is going to be alright," she tells him, though she doesn't quite believe her own words.
She's worried, terrified that something could go wrong to screw this all up. There's a fear swarming inside her, making her gut twist with anxiety, that all their hard work will be in vain and Jamie will have to stay in witness protection forever. But she won't voice those concerns now, she'll let Jamie get out his fears, let him be vulnerable for now, and be there for him like he has always done for her.
Claire listens carefully to the silence surrounding them, trying to hear something, anything. She wonders if the girls are alright, and she thinks about the patrol car outside. She'd looked at it from their bedroom window earlier, which eased her nerves, but she has the desire to look again.
Slipping from Jamie's grasp, she slips her thin robe on, padding over to the window.
It's still raining outside, and she listens as the drops hit the window in a quickly increasing pitter-patter. Her eyes find the car whose sole purpose tonight is to watch over her family, to keep them protected, and her shoulders relax, knowing they're surrounded by people who can help if something were to go wrong.
"Sassenach, come back to bed," Jamie mumbles, his naked form calling out to her.
With a small smile, she draws the curtain, letting her robe fall to the ground as she slinks back to bed where her husband awaits.
She crawls in, his strong arms wrapping vigilantly around her, and as she settles back into his embrace, he asks, "How do you feel?"
After a silent pause, she whispers, "Safe," because it's all she can think to say, knowing that here, in this house, is the safest they can be.
"Good," he sighs, his hand pulsing against her arm, "No matter what happens, I'll make sure ye're safe, always."
She smiles into his chest, never doubting him for a second.
As they lay there, arms wrapped around each other, slowly tracing the other's skin, she listens to the rain hit the roof some more, letting it soothe her soul.
She knows her words are true; she does feel safe. Things may be up in the air with the case, but she fully trusts John Grey to work it out for the best, and laying here right now—in Jamie's arms, their children peacefully asleep down the hall with security secretly posted outside and Jamie's rescuer right next door—she knows they really are protected, and she wills her mind to believe her heart.
"Remember I once told ye," Jamie says, kissing her forehead, "that ye have the protection of my body, if ye need it. And I still mean it."
She rolls her eyes, thinking back to their wedding day twelve years ago, when he vowed to love and protect her through everything as the blood of his blood and bone of his bone. And he has… he's given up his life and his freedom to keep her and their children safe from all of this, and she couldn't love him any more.
"Goodnight, Jamie," she murmurs into his embrace, kissing his chest.
"Goodnight, Sassenach."
And with that, the storm outside continues to rage, but as she lays peacefully wrapped in her husband's arms, the storm in her mind finally quiets down enough for her to fall asleep.
{************************}
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