I almost talk myself out of it three times on the drive to the airport. Maybe showing up like this is too cheesy and weird. What if the last thing Noah wants after getting through finals and a long flight is to be ambushed by the flaky indecisive girl who told him not to make a big deal out of nothing? And then, when the freeway slows to a crawl, I worry he'll be headed home in a taxi before I even make it to the airport. It's not too late to send him a message, to tell him I'm on my way, but... that would require admitting to myself that I'm actually doing this. So, instead, I tell myself not to overthink and I slowly weave my way through the traffic. Get to the airport, find Noah, hope for the best; that's the entirety of my planning.

I refresh the flight status once more after parking, and suddenly it's changed to landed, so now I really need to hurry. What if he didn't check a bag and he's one of the first off the plane and he heads straight to the taxi line with that annoyingly fast walk of his? But I still don't want to send him a message, to let him know I'm here, to ask him to wait for me. As stubbornly foolish a plan as this might be, I want to see Noah's reaction when he realizes I'm here. Make sure I'm not about to humiliate myself by assuming he's still interested.

That's the other question I've been torturing myself with, because Noah's not the easiest to read, especially over the phone. I know what he said at Thanksgiving, but maybe that's changed. Maybe he got sick of waiting for me to make up my mind, and now I've missed my chance. It's not like he's said anything discouraging, but I'm not sure he's said anything encouraging either. I mean, yeah, he calls a lot, but there's nothing overtly romantic about our conversations. He hasn't tried to make plans with me for when he gets back, and he hasn't said a word about Thanksgiving. So, sometimes I convince myself I blew it, that I pushed him back too convincingly and now we're just friends. Which wouldn't be so terrible if I didn't want so much more. If only I hadn't been such an idiot at Thanksgiving.

Or was I? I mean, I'm still not convinced this is a good idea, I've just accepted I want to anyway. Maybe because I've realized this isn't just the same crush I've had forever. That crush hasn't disappeared—he's still stupid hot—but I can't tell myself that's all this is. Not when my first reaction to half the funny or weird things that happen at school is to want to tell Noah about it. Not when I keep finding excuses to stay on the phone just to hear his voice a little longer. So, I'm stuck hoping that Noah still wants to give this a chance, because I know I do.

I'm relieved to find almost no one at the luggage carousel for Noah's flight and the belt not moving. That has to be a good sign—there's no way all the bags have already been retrieved, and with so few people standing around waiting, odds are that deplaning is going slowly and I haven't missed Noah. And yeah, I really should stop being ridiculous and just send him a message already. But I've made it this far with my stupid surprise plan, so I'm not giving up now. I find a spot with a clear view of the doors arriving passengers are streaming through and I give myself a last quick pep talk as I scroll through our messages from the last few weeks. I'm... eighty-percent confident I haven't blown this. Probably.

I don't have long to wait. Even in a crowd Noah's hard to miss, and as soon as he's through the doors I spot him. I freeze for a second, not sure if I should call out to get his attention. I can see him scanning the arrivals hall, and just as I'm making my mind up to wave at him his eyes lock on mine. His expression quickly transforms from surprise to a grin, and it's that smile of his that does it. My brain shuts down and with it my nerves and second-guessing; I'm acting on instinct alone as we close the remaining distance. As soon as Noah's within reach my hands clutch at his shoulders, pulling him closer, and our lips have barely met when I feel my feet leave the floor. I giggle without breaking our kiss as I realize he's picked me up, his arms wrapped tight around my back. It's not a long kiss, but it's a dizzying one, so it takes me a second after I pull back to realize neither of us has actually said anything yet.

"Hi," I finally stammer. Noah seems amused by my lack of eloquence, and I kiss him again rather than let him get out whatever smartass retort has him smirking like that. This time I don't rush, letting myself relax against him and sliding my hands into his hair.

"This is a nice surprise," Noah comments when I finally release his lips, setting me back down but not letting go of me. "Is this why Lee said he couldn't pick me up?"

"No," I admit, suddenly feeling uneasy. Lee has no idea I'm doing this, and I'd like to keep it that way. Not forever, but long enough for me to make sure there's something to tell him about. I'm feeling a lot more confident about my chances now, though.

"I thought he was going to, actually," I add, "but then I heard him on the phone with your mom and realized no one was picking you up." Which is why my show up at the airport, see what happens plan was so half-baked; I only came up with it an hour ago.

"And you felt bad about my whole family abandoning me?"

"A little," I laugh. "But mostly I was thinking this way I'd get to see you sooner. And without our parents around." I can feel myself blushing, but I'm not letting myself chicken out this time.

Noah doesn't say anything in reply, but there's a question in his eyes as he holds my gaze.

"If I were to ask if you'd go out with me tonight," he finally says, his tone carefully neutral, "would you accuse me of making too big a deal again?"

I wince at the memory, relieved that at least Noah seems more amused than mad about it. "No. Definitely not. But I'd have to turn you down. Not because I don't want to—but I have to babysit Brad."

"That's extremely unfortunate." Noah sighs with exaggerated disappointment.

"Yeah, well, telling my dad I couldn't babysit tonight because that's when you were coming home seemed like it might have required a whole lot of explanation."

"Probably true," Noah chuckles.

"I, uh, I did want to talk about that whole too big a deal thing, though."

Noah raises a quizzical eyebrow and I rush to continue before losing my nerve. "It was stupid. I mean, I was stupid, when I said that. Incredibly stupid and not particularly honest."

"Would agreeing be a terrible idea?" Noah asks with a grin.

I swat at his shoulder, but I'm grateful he's making this easier.

"Fine, instead of agreeing I'll just ask when you came to this realization."

I shrug awkwardly, because I'm not actually sure. I think I knew it all along, but for a while I was pretty determined to deny it. "Every time I missed you," I finally answer.

Noah stares back at me, his expression suspiciously tender. Not that I've ever bought his tough-guy act, but I could do his reputation real damage if I felt inclined to share this moment with anyone at school. Which I absolutely don't, because I want this Noah all to myself.

"I missed you too, Shelly," Noah replies after a long pause, his eyes still fixed on mine.

I hate how good that cursed nickname sounds when he says it. "I was kinda hoping that," I admit, my blush returning.

"So just so we're clear... you're not going to get mad if I ask you to dinner? And you might even say yes?"

"Well, not tonight. But in general—yeah."

"Ah yes, the babysitting. But Brad likes me, right? He can tag along."

"You're inviting Brad on our date?" I ask, amused.

"Did you think dinner was code for something else?" Noah teases, then laughs at my reaction. "I really do just want to get to see you, you know, and if that means entertaining Brad, too, I can deal with that."

"As much as I'd enjoy watching Brad talk your ear off about Minecraft for two hours, that kid tells everyone everything. Which brings us back to the need for a lot of explanations once Brad tells my dad about it."

"So, no dinner."

"No, but... Dad's not expecting me home until six. And your parents are at that reception, and Lee is out with Rachel." I pause, waiting for Noah to do the math.

Noah returns my raised eyebrow.

"So what you're saying is, we could still get dinner, it just needs to be early?" There's a gleam to his eye that tells me he knows that's not at all what I meant.

"Is dinner still not a euphemism? Because what I was saying is that your house is unoccupied."

"That is an excellent point."

Sneaking around turns out surprisingly easy. Maybe it's just everyone being distracted by the holidays, but no one questions how often Noah disappears to meet up with "Harvard friends" or how much time I'm spending with "debate friends." Neither of which are technically lies—this did all start at Harvard and Noah did show up at the tournament, so I'd say I count as a Harvard friend and Noah as a member of the debate gang. More importantly, no one notices how often Noah and I have plans at the same times. And why would they, when around our families we go out of our way to keep each other at the same distance as before?

I know at some point we're going to have to tell everyone, but... not yet. Maybe in January, so we can enjoy the holidays before Lee inevitably freaks out. Better yet, maybe right before Noah goes back to campus, so if my dad grounds me for life I'll have time to talk him out of it before seeing Noah again is even a possibility. But right now I don't want to deal with our families or anyone else, not when we're just figuring this thing out ourselves. Besides—secrets are fun.

So we go to the movies a lot, only some of which we actually watch, we talk for hours at out-of-the-way coffee shops, and we discover hiking is an excellent way to disappear for a while. The actual sneaking around is also fun—Noah's hand on my knee below the Sunday lunch table, the stolen kisses when we find ourselves alone in a room, and the feigned squabbling to keep up appearances.

Of course, there are a few close calls, including an uncomfortable half hour spent hiding in Noah's closet while Lee drones on about college applications. Of all the times for him to decide to spend time with his brother... But at least I heard Lee coming down the hall in time to hide, and at least Lee doesn't mention my college applications. Is it weird that I've started avoiding that topic with Noah? It's not like any of the Boston schools I applied to weren't on my list before all of this happened, but still, it just feels awkward. We can talk about it later, once I've actually heard back from schools—and once we've been dating for more than a week.

A few days after Christmas, Noah finally convinces me to let him take me on a motorcycle ride. It's exactly as terrifying as I'd expected, at least at first, but it's also thrilling. If I close my eyes, the roar of the engine and the rush of the wind make it easy to ignore everything but the feeling of being wrapped around Noah. He's so warm, so solid, and I'm reminded of how this all started. Not our first kiss, when I'd run away in a panic, but the second one, when his arms had tightened around me and I'd stopped caring how terrible an idea this was. Even after that kiss ended I'd stayed wrapped in his arms as long as I could, and it was that feeling I couldn't stop thinking about in the weeks afterward.

We ride as far as Palisades Park, walking along the beach with ice creams before I realize I need to get home soon. Ollie's throwing a party tonight and I promised to help him get ready, and now that Noah's tossed me into the ocean for stealing the last of his ice cream I also need a shower first.

Noah walks me to the door when we get to my house. "You're sure you don't want me to come help with set-up?" he asks as I open the door.

"Lee's going to be there, too."

"I see. And you don't think you'd be able to keep your hands off me if I'm around?" Noah leans lazily against the door frame, smirking.

"That definitely won't be a problem if you keep acting this obnoxious. But I just think it'd be weird for you to show up early. It's not like you and Ollie are close friends."

"Fine," Noah says with an exaggerated sigh. "Do I have to ignore you during the party, too?"

"Ignore, no. But maybe a little less of this," I giggle as he plays with my hair.

"How about this?" Noah leans in to kiss me, the hand that had been playing with my hair sliding down my back to pull me closer. I indulge the kiss briefly before playfully pushing him away.

"Absolutely none of that."

"Well, in that case..." Noah pulls me back in for another, much longer, kiss.

"Taking advantage while you can?" I tease him.

"No, trying to convince you to ditch the party early. Extremely early. Did it work?"

My exasperated eyeroll doesn't dim his grin at all, and I finally push him out the door, laughing at the half-salute he gives me.

I drop my bag and hang up my jacket, then make it two steps into the living room before freezing. June is sitting on the couch, fixing me with a Sphinxian smile.

A/N: the original plan was to write this whole story from Noah's point of view, and then this chapter refused to work until I let Elle tell the story. She might hold on to the narrator job for a bit... we will see.