Chapter 13

Hi! So here is the new chapter, hope you'll like it!

Another sleep paralysis.

Castiel woke up with his eyes wide open however no part of him could move but his eyelids. Hell, another sleep paralysis! It was rare for him to have those so close. After his mother's death he would have those almost every morning but as he grew up, it became occasional. Well, it became occasional after he got help. He breathed and remembered he had to keep collected, it became easy with time. He just had to wait for it to pass…

"Pray, Castiel. Your mother is in Hell, and demons are now waiting to take you with them."

"Please Dad, don't say that!"

His father grabbed him by the hair and forced him to lower his head. He was kneeling before the big cross in their living room. His father had made him pray all morning.

Why was he thinking of this? Why did he have to think of his father? He was far away.

"Suicide is a sin, your mother was sinful, she defied me because of you! And now you're just letting demons come close to you!"

He cried. Did he really cause his mother to die? Was she really in Hell? Were demons after him? He prayed, sobbing all the while.

Why did he have to think of that? He hated those memories, why did I have to haunt him now? Maybe it was because of a discussion he had with Jessica yesterday. It had been their third day here and Sam and Jess had showed them around a bit. Castiel had asked her about her family and she had eventually told him that her parents were religious and they had been really upset when she admitted them she was an atheist, but they were still tolerant enough to accept it. Castiel had never been an atheist, but at a point, he was starting to question his faith. His father never knew, but if he had…Simple doubts would have turned him crazy. Maybe that was what made him think of this? Or maybe the shock he had felt after seeing his father some days ago was resurfacing.

He heard Dean moving at his side and sigh. From the corner of his eyes, Castiel saw him sit up.

"'Morning…"

Castiel blinked and felt that he could start to move again. A hand touched his shoulder and he sluggishly sat against the headboard.

"You got another one?"

"A paralysis? Yes. It's fine, though."

"If stress is the cause, 'I'd tell you to get some vacations, but we're already here."

Huffing in amusement, Castiel just rubbed his forehead. Titling his head, Dean looked at him with some worry: "Maybe you do need a doctor."

His breath was cut off, amusement disappeared and this time he was just baffled: "Are you telling me to go see a shrink?"

"That might help you."

"Yeah, the day you'll go and see one to solve your own issues, I'll consider it!"

"I don't have issues!"

"You do! Don't even try to deny it, especially not to me."

Dean sighed at this: "I was suggesting nicely. Why do you always need to be bitchy like this?"

"I'm not always bitchy, and considering the situation I could be worse. Anyway I warned you this wouldn't be an easy ride, when you 'proposed' me."

Indeed, Dean remembered that, Castiel defiantly telling him he wouldn't submit easily.

"You say you could have been worse. Why aren't you?"

"Because my daughter is in the middle. And why aren't you worse than that? Not that you've been a peach most of times, but I imagined worse."

"Well…Your daughter has to do with it, I guess. And…" He stopped here.

"What?"

"Drop it. I'm gonna get some breakfast."

Though Castiel was about to protest and insist for him to tell him more, he forgot it when he heard Claire calling for him. He went to her room, Dean was already starting to prepare breakfast when he took her to the kitchen. Was it really true? Had Claire really influenced his behavior? After all, he was rather nice with her, he remembered the dress Dean offered her, or the little things like the ice-cream on the beach. Even the room he had for her, though he was pretty sure his was also a way to pressure Castiel into letting her live in his house. Even with him, after his proposal Dean had been a jerk but not really scary or threatening. Castiel didn't consider lack of cruelty as kindness, but he had already met really dangerous and cruel people, and for now, Dean couldn't really compare.

In fact, though he still didn't know him since long, he wondered if Dean would really have carried on with his threats. What if it had been bluff all along? That was something he would probably figure out with time.

Right after breakfast, before he could check his mails, Dean received a phone call from Charlie. The day after the mugging attempt, he had sent her a message to ask her to keep an eye on Arthur Miller's mails, he had to know who he was working with. She had installed a virus on his computer and whatever mails he received, she could read, and she also had access to his texts. He answered her calls immediately.

"Hey, Dean, how are things going?"

"Pretty well for now, and you?" He could hear she was worried.

"Yep, I got some news: nothing suspicious about Arthur Miller for now, he is in contact with some member from that homophobic church, but from what I read of their exchange, they weren't planning anything about you. Also…"

She hesitated, making Dean frown. "What?"

"Don't get mad, but you know I'm dating Jo, now?"

"Yeah, you told me." Why was she talking about that. He realized immediately why she was telling him that. "Don't tell me she figured out?!"

"Yep, she understood something was going on, so I explained her everything, I didn't want her to think we were doing something worse than spying on a guy who tried to hurt us."

Dean groaned. He didn't want too many people to know about it! On the other hand, leaving Jo in the dark could have been dangerous, she would have tried to know more, and having her asking questions around and all would have done more wrong than anything. Could he trust Jo with that kind of thing? He didn't know, they had always been friendly, but he didn't know how much he could trust her about that kind of things.

"In fact, she is here," Charlie added, "And she had an idea, I'll let you talk to her."

Dean bit his lip, trying to contain himself. "Hey, Dean! Charlie told me you and Cas' almost got mugged."

"Yeah, we're both fine, don't worry. He is taking care of his daughter right now."

"Good. I can tell you anyway that I never heard of thugs targeting rich people around the club. There are a few fights, but it's not like that."

"So either it was the first time they targeted people here, or I was right: they were sent by someone."

"Yeah, and as I Charlie said, I had an idea: I thought of trying to get close to Miller and that stupid church."

"What?!"

"Yeah, he knows Charlie, but he had never seen me before. And I can really be angel-like when I want. I could try to know more about him and them."

"No way, we don't know who we are dealing with!"

"Dean, those guys almost tried to kill you and Castiel! I might have lost contact with him for a long time, but he is still someone I hold dear, my mother took care of him. If those guys tried to hurt the two of you, I want to do something. Anyway that guy is probably nothing but a pawn, I don't take much risks."

He thought over it. "Fine, you'll go to that Church, you can talk to that guy, but you listen mostly, you don't ask suspicious questions or anything, you don't talk about me or the company, it would sound suspicious. And you're not doing that right now, you're waiting for me to come back, okay? We'll plan that together, no initiative while I'm not around!"

"Okay, I promise to wait for you and to be careful."

He was relieved, he knew she would listen to that. Charlie took the phone again: "How is it going with your brother and his wife?"

"Pretty fine for now, we're getting along pretty well."

Jo asked him to give Castiel the phone so she could talk to him. Though pretty surprised, Cas' took the phone with enthusiasm and they spoke for some minutes, exchanging news and talking about Claire and Ellen. This reminded Dean of something, and when Castiel hung up and gave him the phone back, he put it back in his pocket and stood before his future husband.

"There is something we didn't talk about: divorce."

"Yeah?"

"…That story has to be believable, so we have to stay together for some times. But if you eventually want to leave me, I won't object. And of course, the same goes for me, if I want to divorce, we will."

He raised an eyebrow, weirdly, he hadn't thought about it much, but he had pretty much thought Dean wouldn't let him leave until he would grow tired of Castiel. He hadn't told him that, but it had seemed obvious to him.

"Can you be more precise?"

"If you think I'm a bad stepfather, or if you're unhappy with me, you can leave me. But we still have to marry, and we have to stay together for some times, a year or two."

One or two years…It seemed long, but on the other hand, if he could tame Dean, life would be okay. The man had already softened, if it continued like that, it would be fine.

"Fine. As long as you treat me and Claire well, there will be no problem."

He expected Dean to tell him that he had to obey him no matter what, just like during their first date on the rooftop restaurant, but the man just nodded. "Fine with me."

They were both relieved that this had been said, and Dean hoped it would take off a weight between them. The rest of the morning went well, except that Dean was still concerned about Jo's idea, it would help indeed but he didn't want to expose her. Yet he was often distracted by Claire who was taking most of their attention, and at noon, they joined Sam and Jess. They had decided to go to a Thai restaurant Dean wanted to try.

"You know sometimes I wonder how you stay so fit with everything you eat," Castiel told him while watching the huge plate he ordered. It wasn't the first time he had noticed how much Dean could eat.

"I do a lot of sports, since we announced the wedding, I didn't have the time, though."

"What do you usually do?" Jess asked.

"I work out, and I also do Krav Maga. You used to do that too," he pointed out to Sam

"I still do, especially the work-out."

As he was saying this, he realized something weird: Castiel just asked Dean how he could remain in a fit shape and his brother had to explain him he was doing sport. But, how could Castiel not know that already? They had met two years ago, according to what Dean told him, that was something one should know after two years of dating.

"Yep, he does work out and it's efficient," Jess commented with a little wink at her husband which made him giggle a bit and distracting him from his previous thoughts.

"What about you?" Sam asked Castiel.

"I learned Box," Castiel simply replied, not telling how and why. "Maybe Krav maga would be good."

"It is. I liked Box too, but it's good to try other things," Dean commented.

"I wanna box too!" Claire joyfully declared.

Dean laughed at this: "Does she even know what it is?"

"No, but she understood we both did some, so she wants to do the same. Well, why not? We'll see that when you'll be older, though," Cas' murmured to her, while ruffling her hair.

"I also practiced with Sam, but I must admit I prefer swimming," Jess declared.

"I love it too, I grew up by the ocean, but on the East Coast."

They spoke mostly about sports before leaving the restaurant and going to the beach. This time, Jess suggested to go to a small and relatively unknown beach, where they could be in peace.

"There aren't many people coming there, it's only accessible through the water of through a passage between rocks," she explained.

"And it's beautiful," Sam added.

Both Dean and Castiel agreed to that, it was true that it wouldn't be bad to have some times alone. Claire was holding her dad's hand and at Dean's surprise, she took his hand as well, walking between the two of them proudly. He couldn't help but feel a bit of warmth at this. As Sam put his arm around Jess's shoulder while they were walking, he thought of something.

"By the way, Jess will have another exam tomorrow: we should finally know whether or not the baby is a boy or a girl."

"Oh, that's great! You still have no idea for the names?"

"Well, for a boy, we thought about Jonathan, and for a girl, we thought about Malory, my mom's name was Lorelei, and yours was Mary. It's somehow a mix of the two."

"Really? That's a good idea," Dean replied genuinely.

"I'm pretty sure it's gonna be a girl, I have a feeling about it," Jess explained, "Anyway my parents are impatient to know, my mom can't hold in place!"

They descended toward the beach and then the rocks, and Sam showed the little passage. It wasn't hard to take, but it wasn't that easy to find for people who weren't familiar with the surroundings. The waves would go through the rocks and dampen their feet and ankles. The beach was small and in a moon-like shape, at the feet of the abrupt cliff. You couldn't see the city from here, it looked like a shelter facing the ocean.

The place was indeed deserted for now and that was a nice change for once. Anyway if they wanted to be with more people, they could still come back to the closest beach.

"Wow! That's perfect whenever you want to be left alone," Cas' commented.

"Oh, we aren't the only ones who knows it, sometimes there are people, but it's still better than overpopulated spots if you want some quietness," the young woman told him.

"Jess and I love to come here," Sam murmured, not wanting Claire to hear. "It's indeed very intimate."

With a smile, Castiel nodded, he could imagine what he meant.

"I noticed, you always keep a tee-shirt on, isn't it uncomfortable?" Sam asked him.

"Well, I have a few scars I don't want to show."

"Really? What happened?"

"It's an old story," Castiel replied.

Understanding this as a sensitive spot, he dropped the subject. Sam and Jess soon went in the water and swam together, Jess sometimes letting her husband catch her in his arms. Dean and Castiel didn't go far, they had to stay around Claire, but when Jess and Sam came back, they both started playing with her and Dean looked at his future husband who had taken that occasion to swim a bit further. Bliss drawn over his face as he leaned backward in the water, letting his arms slowly roll, his face turned to the sky, he looked like he was making one with the ocean. A sort of vertigo took him by surprise all of sudden, and he couldn't help but slide toward him.

Waiting a bit, he finally took Castiel by the hand, shaking him away, from his little world.

"What…"

"Come. We have some times for each other and I like you when you're in the water."

Now, this was a strange thing to say, Castiel took his hand away, but accepted to swim with Dean who lead him toward rocks. He felt the need to pin Cas' gently against those and kiss him, in fact, maybe he could do it. It wouldn't be their first kiss and they were supposed to act as a couple before people. The water hugged their waist, the waves crashing gently against them. He gently pushed him against the closest rock, careful not to hurt him.

"What are you doing?"

"We hadn't kissed before Jess and Sam already. It could seem weird, and this is quite the setting."

Cas' had a little smile, it was true that the blue sky and ocean, the gentle warmth from the water and…He had to admit Dean was kissable, especially with this malicious little grin. He leaned closer, showing him he agreed to this. Dean's hand slid on the side of Castiel's neck, just grazing, and he kissed him softly. Maybe it was the gentleness, the care behind it, but Castiel spontaneously leaned closer and put his hands on the man's shoulders. For an instant, he almost forgot every conflicts between them.

The parted slowly, and Dean gave him that little malicious smile.

"Don't seem like kissing me is bothering you much."

"I won't deny you're attractive. You're still a douche, though."

Though it wasn't the worse he hear from Castiel, those words stung after such a moment. They heard Claire scream and they both looked at her, but she was giggling now, she and Jess were only playing 'Tag, you're it'. Castiel just smiled at the sight of his little girl having so much fun. Dean took a deep breath, and looked at him again.

"You know, what you say that morning…And two days ago about slapping me."

"If we can consider it a real slap, I put my hand in your face while we were sleeping."

"I know, but you said it reflected one of your wants. You're the second person to whom I ask that, but do you still hate me?"

Castiel thought over his answer. "I guess it's not as intense as it used to be. Now I know you didn't force Ellen to sell her bar, and I guess you're not as horrible as I first pictured you to be. You're still the one who threatened me, all of that because of some petty incident. And I'm still here because of that."

Dean was about to reply when Claire and Jessica arrived in their direction, laughing, the little girl still running with the woman behind her. She threw herself at her dad, taking refuge in his arms.

"Ah, can't catch you anymore!" Jess declared playfully.

Sam appeared, and Dean noticed he looked troubled. What was wrong with him? They stayed on the beach a bit longer, deciding what they could do for the evening.

"There is a barbecue in the house," Castiel told them. "We could always use it, the night will surely be beautiful."

"Yeah! I would love that," Jess approved enthusiastically.

"I can't refuse a barbecue! Sam?"

"Uh…Yeah, fine with me."

"You're okay?" Jess asked before Dean could.

"I'm fine, don't worry, I was just thinking about some stuff. We should do some grocery, then."

After getting what they needed, they immediately went to Dean and Cas's house. The sun was getting closer to the sea, the sky taking orange and pink shades over the darkening water. The simple view of the sunset enchanted Castiel, Claire and Jess alike, but Dean was still concerned about Sam who was barely talking and obviously upset about something. Even while they eat, he wouldn't talk much, and watched him weirdly a few times.

"Did something happen to Sam?" He asked Jess discretely as they were finishing to eat the last sausages and burgers. Castiel was inside to put Claire to bed already and Dean was looking at the view, deep in his thoughts.

"Maybe he is just nervous about tomorrow. He is always a bit nervous before that," she replied, but not looking very convinced by that.

"Oh! Yeah, maybe."

But he still wanted to be sure, he knew his little brother, something was going on through his head, and it had been all of sudden. Well, the best was to ask him directly. Sam returned toward the table.

"Hey, Dean, you help me with the dishes?"

"Sure."

Jess was about to stand to help them but Sam held her back by the shoulders. "Come on, rest, we can do it."

"As you wish."

She was pretty aware this was an excuse to be alone with his brother. She knew Sam and Dean would eventually need to have a private discussion, but there was something weird going on. Whatever, she would talk to him later.

Inside, Sam just leaned against the kitchen counter after they put the dishes in the sink.

"What is it with you? You hardly said anything this evening."

Looking straight at him, his brother asked: "Dean, is there something you should tell me?"

"What?"

"About your future husband. I heard what you were talking about earlier, I'm not sure I understood everything, but there is something weird going on. I noticed you two don't seem to know each other that well, and the way you act…I didn't notice right away but you two have a weird chemistry."

Oh Lord…Dean had absolutely no idea what to say, and he knew, he perfectly knew Sam wouldn't let go. Maybe he would play nice and be like 'Okay, tell me when you're ready', but in the end, he would come back to it, with his gentle way of asking which no one could refuse. He could still lie…But it was useless, his brother would know this time. He took a deep breath. Sam was the only person, along with Castiel who could actually take him out of balance. If he had to do this, he might do it now. This time, Sam would truly hate him.

"I have feelings for him, but it's one-sided."

He explained everything, and in the end he saw Sam gape and look like he was going to hyperventilate.

"Are you seriously telling me that you…Blackmailed him into marrying you?"

"…Yeah. Listen, it's…"

"Okay…Okay, I need to breath here! I…" He took a deep breath indeed and rubbed his face. "Dean, you realize how fucked up this is?! It's something the mafia will usually do, not normal people!"

"I'm not normal…"

"Stop joking! You have to let that guy go! You realize what you did?! And you dragged a kid along, a three year old little girl!"

"I didn't know about her back then! I didn't know he had a child."

Oh Hell, Sam and he already had arguments, bad ones at times, but his little brother never looked at him like that. Maybe he would never look at him the same. He could have given all his money to be able to disappear, to go back through time and stop himself from doing all those stupid mistakes.

"You should have known, you should have tried to know who you were attacking! And seriously, Dean, even if he had been a bit douchy, you overreacted, big time!"

"Okay, but it was…The fact he used you against me."

Sam huffed: "It hurt you, I got it, but you didn't need to insult his friends either!"

"I know, it's just…What truly hurt was that his words sounded so true. As I told you, I thought you had left because of me too. Hearing a stranger say it was…Too much. I was out of my mind."

Sam sighed. He knew Dean could be ruthless, yes, and somehow this was something he admired about his big brother, but being ruthless wasn't the same as being unnecessarily cruel, and Dean had been cruel.

"You really think that can be an excuse? You were wrong, point! Would you have done it, for real? Would you have ruined his entire life just over some defiance?!"

"No, I just wanted to scare him. I thought he would leave, not record everything! I had to delete it all, I couldn't let that thing in other people's hands."

"You should have left him in peace once it was deleted! Don't give me the 'I had to play tough' speech, you played way tougher than necessary, you could have left him in peace, he had asked for nothing else! Someone really confident and important wouldn't have cared that much about it! You thought you were showing power, you just showed weakness! And you went way too far!"

He stopped there and just walked away from his brother who was unable to speak or do anything. He came here to bond again with Sam, but it seemed like his brother would despise him more than ever.

And now Dean will have a lot more to worry about! If you wonder, no, Cas' isn't in love (yet?) with Dean, but he is starting to feel attracted to him. Don't hesitate to review!