Monday Still
Ty watched her walk away, making a beeline to her SUV with long strides, purposeful, confident, her almost jet black styled hair swinging just below her shoulders, side to side, in unison with each step. Lou was polished as usual, dressed in fitted pants, high heels, a silky blouse, giving off an aura of success, seriousness, determination. And, more than a little hint of feminine allure. She was not someone you'd want to cross. As she drove away in her late model vehicle, he raised the hood on Jack's 1971 Chevy truck, searching for the cause for Goldie's hesitation.
It didn't take long for Ty to pinpoint the problem.
"Jack, hey." he said, somewhat surprised that he not only had his cell phone with him but also answered it.
"Yeah. Think I found the issue. Loose wire and corroded spark plugs."
"AC Delcos R45 TS. Yeah. Might as well get a set. Want me to pick them up?"
"Okay. Thanks. Bye."
Sliding his phone into his back pocket, Ty walked to his truck, retrieved his dirty clothes and Amy's journal, then headed to the ranch house. A welcomed silence greeted him as he walked through the door. He dispensed of his boots in the mud room and the rest of his clothes in front of the washer. After starting a load, he took a long hot shower, second one of the day. Without a stitch of clean clothing, he had no choice but to cinch a towel around his waist for coverage. He padded into the kitchen, snatched an apple, an Ontario Honeycrisp, from the bowl. Lou always bought his favorites.
Gazing out the kitchen window, he mindlessly ate the apple. Normally, he would have savored each sweet bite, but Lou and everything she said in the barn weighed on him.
He considered her his older sister, sometimes nosy, pushy, bossy, opinionated, controlling but always loving, caring and protective in her own way.
No doubt, Jack was the head of Heartland, the family and household. His word was gospel. But Jack didn't run the household, Lou did. She ruled the roost. She handled most everything from finances, shopping, cooking, and laundry to the family traditions and gatherings. She made the ranch a home for everyone, Ty included.
Her operating style was that of a velvet glove over an iron fist. When Lou set her mind to something, it was her way or the highway. No sense in questioning her methods or plans, it only caused discord and angst without any tangible benefit. Even Jack eventually knuckled under. The Dude Ranch was a case in point.
Coming from a dysfunctional family, Ty deeply loved the home Lou created and felt lucky to be accepted into the fold, so he seldom rocked the boat. He looked to Lou for guidance, relied on her advice. He deferred to her, never questioned her motives or intent. And, when it came to Amy, he felt like Lou always had her best interests at heart.
Until today.
He definitely saw and heard something different in Lou. She wasn't just angry with her sister over some petty sibling disagreement. He had seen that before. This was deeper, harder hitting. This was strictly business.
He hated to think it, or believe it. Amy was no longer in Lou's good graces. Lou no longer had Amy's back, nor her best interests at heart. Lou was defending Heartland, her household, her business against a holdout, Amy. And, Amy wasn't knuckling under.
So Lou took the bully stance, pay up or else. The "or else" being to sully, diminish Amy's character. Lou's very words were harsh, disparaging but clear, Amy was entitled, selfish, secretive, and worse, a liar and a thief. Amy was lying and stealing from the family by collecting her fees and not turning them over to Lou.
He had heard the story, more than once, how Lou saved Heartland from bankruptcy after Marion died. How the bank requested that she stay in Hudson to carry out her business plan built on Amy's work, her abilities, her back.
He thought about the day Amy came home from Europe. Tim and Lou both gave her a hard time, groused on about George having to do her work when she "disappeared". But, that work directly supported their own financial interests, the Dude Ranch and their offspring.
Amy called herself an indentured servant.
He shook his head, he was still in disbelief. "15k a month. That's shit load of servitude." He said aloud. Then he did a quick calculation. "Damn! 180k a year!" Swearing again.
"Amy said to ask...so.." he trailed off.
If he were honest with himself, he was no better than Lou. He said those same things to Amy that horrible evening, after Ahmed came to dinner invited by Tim and left roughed up by his own fist. That she was entitled, selfish, secretive, and worse, a liar, that she had changed. Then again to her in the barn the next day, refusing to listen to her. And then repeatedly to himself for days and weeks that followed. He was no better than Lou, he was a bully, hurtful to the quick, unwilling to listen, more than willing to tear her down to nothing. Maybe Lou was a better person, she at least disparaged her behind her back. He said it directly to her, no filter, no pulled punch.
"Fuck!" He muttered, angrily. He threw the apple core hard across room, smashing into the wall. Bits stuck and splattered here and there. He took a deep breath, and began to clean up the mess.
Then he shuffled to the laundry room, transferred his clothes into the dryer, then settled onto the couch to read. But, no matter how he sat, the towel gaped exposing more than he cared. He texted Amy.
"Hey. Mind if I read in your room?"
"Have at it. :)" she replied almost immediately.
"Thanks." Then he added. "When you get back to the barn, will you text me?"
"Sure. Everything okay?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. Talk then."
He walked into Amy's room closing the door behind him. He saw their engagement picture no longer faced down, but upright. He noticed her engagement and promise rings. He sighed heavily.
He arranged the pillows against the headboard, climbed into bed, covering himself with her quilt, throwing the damp towel on the floor. He opened her journal, and began to read where he left off.
Amy's Journal Day 68Our flight landed in Rome at the Leonardo da Vinci International Airport not much past midnight. A limousine pick us up at the tarmac and whisked us to our hotel Hotel di Martini near the Piazza di Siena where the show is held. The hotel was named for Simone Martini, a famous 12th century Gothic painter of frescos and larger than life works of art. He was born in Siena, a walled Italian city in Tuscany known for its architecture, art, cuisine and il Palio di Siena, bareback horse race held twice a year in the city's cobblestone courtyard. The hotel had an original Martini oil painting depicting the Virgin mother holding the baby Jesus hung in its lobby. The painting's intense details and vivid colors were amazing. It's hard to fathom it's 800 years old.Adela and I shared a room again. Not because of the expense, this was a work trip so Ahmed paid for it. But because, I enjoyed her company. She and Syed are the only two that I talk with outside of work. Our room is so beautiful, right out of a magazine. Our bed is huge! It has a curtained canopy, a frilly bedspread. There is a sitting area with two small couches in front of a marble fireplace, floor to ceiling windows leading to a balcony, ornately painted ceiling. Just incredible, I'm almost afraid to touch anything. Lou called me while we were flying so I called her back from the hotel, just before we went to bed. At first, she said everything was great but she sounded stressed, tired. She finally admitted that things weren't so good a home. She and Peter were fighting, Katie and Georgie both had the flu so grandpa was doing the barn chores, the Dude Ranch had no renters. I asked about Ty. She said he was busy, never around. Sometimes she sees him at dinner. :(Ty sighed heavily.
She said that without horse clients, Heartland was having difficulties making ends meet. I felt horrible, especially thinking about the horses going hungry. So I promised I'd send funds for the last two months. I didn't tell her that I was in Italy, I didn't want to upset her more. First thing this morning, we went to the bank. Adela helped me wire my share to Heartland's account.When he turned the page, a white envelope was paperclipped to it. Inside was a copy of the wire transfer for 30k to Hudson Rancher's Bank. "Holy shit!" He still couldn't really wrap his head around it.
There were several other things in there too. A receipt for 950 from l' Amant in Paris for mutandine, scrape, and vestito (2), ownership papers for a horse named Winter's Snow, a receipt for 8k from Horse Scout.
After yummy breakfast of pastries, meats, cheeses and strong expresso at the hotel, we toured by car the Villa Borghese gardens filled with sculptures, fountains, lakes, villas and museums spanning a couple hundred acres and developed from a vineyard in the 17th century. So pretty. In its center is the Piazza di Siena, an equestrian's dream with an oval race track, jump course, and seating, built by Prince Marcantonio Borghese at the end of the 18th century. Apparently, Borghese, born in Siena, wanted to recreate Piazza del Campo of Siena in Rome. I'd really like to see Siena some day, sounds neat. Ahmed and I reviewed some 30 or 40 horses stabled or being exercised around the piazza in anticipation of next week's show. We were searching for proven, competition ready horses for the games this summer. Although most were not for sale, Ahmed had deep pockets and insisted that everyone, everything had a price. Noble Cause, a German bred Oldenburg, in gleaming black coat with red undertones caught my attention as his groom exercised him around the piazza. Oldenburg are known for their excellent jumping abilities and impeccable gait, but Noble Cause was special. He possessed a strong, muscular but lithe body was perfectly designed for jump competition. As he rounded near us, his high broad forehead, piercing, inquisitive eyes sold me. He had won the individual jumper competition at the Liverpool International Horse Show last year, but nothing since his German rider retired. I told Ahmed that he was the one. Though he was not for sale, within one hour, Ahmed had purchased the stallion and custom tack for 1.2 million. In a small area of the piazza, I was able to finally meet and establish a connection with him. Turns out he likes Canadian mints, the white peppermint ones. Imagine that! Riding him was like riding a magic flying carpet, smooth, airy, graceful. I think he's going be to be very competitive. A reporter from Il Messaggero took our picture with Noble Cause and asked a few questions. Ahmed answered in Italian, I just smiled. I sincerely hope that I didn't make a very expensive mistake. Winter's Snow, a six year old mare, a Holsteiner warmblood, was posted for sale on Horse Scout message board for 16k. She had won a few of Ireland national shows for an Ireland team, but not the country's leading team. She is a lovely gray ombré, light gray head, mane and tail but the gray darken going down to an almost midnight black at her hooves. She is a medium size horse, just 67 inches, high-set neck and powerful legs and haunches. Snow has the most beautiful blueish gray eyes, long gray eyelashes. I fell in love with with her the first time I saw her. I thought she had real potential, Ahmed disagreed, dismissed her immediately. So I bought her for a mere 8k myself so I could ride her after a long day of training in Normandy. I miss Spartan so much, hope Snow can help fill the gap. While I was busy with Winter's Snow, Ahmed bought another Dutch warmblood, a chestnut stallion named Redwood for 80k. I am not sure yet what drove the purchase but he does have excellent bloodlines, a good win record in Ireland, and nice body structure. After a successful day, Ahmed wanted to celebrate at dinner. Adela had made reservations at La Pergola, a three-Michelin star, which apparently means it's really good and really expensive. Apparently she anticipated this and had her friend, Andrie from Paris send a dress and shoes for me before we left France. Adela-Lou didn't think I had the right outfit for a fancy dinner. Figures. Twins separated by birth.Normally Ty would have laughed, but he was still foul mood.
The short ice blue dress was very pretty, though a tiny bit snug. Hope I am not gaining weight. The black pumps, with a red sole, were really high, maybe 3.5 inches. Adela made me practice so I wouldn't break my ankle! I am such a klutz on stilts. :(Okay. This part is weird. Andrie also sent panties and a bra that matched the dress perfectly. Adela said that I had bad underwear. Whatever that means! Weirder is that the panties are a thong. I thought they would feel gross, but actually they feel pretty good, like I wasn't wearing anything! But, still weird. Ty would absolutely love these so I took a selfie and sent it to him. How about that! I am now sexting. ;)"I never got that Amy! I would have remembered." He said aloud, his eyebrows knitted, concerned he rubbed his scruffy chin.
Adela gave me the receipt from l' Amant and told me she would deduct it from my pay check. dang..she buys expensive stuff. She said the Christian Louboutin's were a bargain. 500 for a pair shoes? Ridiculous. I told her she needed to consult me before spending my money."500!? For shoes. That is crazy." Ty shook his head. "Even all my textbooks this semester didn't cost that much."
OMG! La Pergola was so ritzy, pretty, formal. The high ceilings, big windows overlooking Rome and the Vatican. Simply breathtaking. Our table was so beautiful too, candles, china, so, so many forks, knives and glasses. The waiter pulled my chair out for me and put the napkin in my lap. Every time I took a sip of water, he'd refill my glass. He made me nervous. The head chef, Heinz Beck, joined Adela, Ahmed and me for dinner. He ordered for us, I had the scallops, caper leaves and caviar. Incredible. Adela had the lobster, Heinz had the venison and polenta and Ahmed had the duck foie gras which he let me taste.Heinz ordered champagne, some special stuff from France, so we could toast. Ahmed toasted to me! Said I was the world's best horse trainer with an eye for champion horses. :) We also toasted Heinz and the wonderful evening. I had some champagne. Not my favorite, I can do without. It's midnight. I am back in our hotel room. I still have not heard back from Ty. I hope I didn't embarrass him with my selfie. I tried to call him but it went to voicemail. I asked Adela if she thought I was wrong to send the picture. She said that in Saudi Arabia, women are much more reserved, that would not be acceptable. Maybe that's why Ty didn't text back. :("I did not get it Amy." But just be sure, he went through their text messages. And there it was. Amy standing sideways, not posing, apparently in front of a huge mirror, in high heels, a blue lacy thong and bra. Her golden hair curled, her eyes closed, head thrown back, she was laughing. The text only said "Miss me?"
"How in the world did I miss this? God Amy, you are... so sexy." He groaned, as he stared at her picture.
Amy's Journal Day 69An attached envelope contained a receipt for a train ticket to Siena, another for lunch at Blandis Cafe, and a polaroid of Amy, an older man maybe Jack's age, and a dark haired woman, he assumed was Adela, in front of some sort of huge courtyard.
There too was an Italian newspaper clipping with Amy and Ahmed's picture with Noble Cause was folded into the page.
Ty studied the black and white picture in the article. Amy was smiling looking into the camera, holding Noble Cause's bridle. She looked happy. He whispered. "So beautiful." Ahmed was smiling as well, but not at the camera, but directly at Amy. He frowned, continued reading.
At 6am, Adela woke me with the news that we were going to Siena by train. She was going to be my tour guide again. Apparently Ahmed knew that I wanted to visit Siena and Piazza del Campo. Of course, I was thrilled, touched by his thoughtfulness."Of course I was thrilled!" Ty sarcastically repeated Amy's words out loud, "Ahmed is just so thoughtful." then grunted.
Apparently, Ahmed, the horses and our packed suitcases were already in route back to Falsaise. We would take the train, tour Siena then fly back by commercial plane. Adela-Lou decided I would wear my outfit I got in Paris and another thong and bra...a white lacy set. I have to admit, it's nice not having a panty line!By 8, we on the train headed north through some of the most beautiful countryside, vineyards, rolling hills, farmland, villas, fields of red poppies as far as I could see. Adela really is a terrific tour guide and travel companion. Siena is a small Tuscan town, built in the 12th century and encircled by stone walls and tall gates for protection against enemy invasion. Inside, narrow, winding streets connect limestone and sandstone houses and buildings, cathedrals, piazzas, kind of like a maze. We wandered the stone passages through its beauty, simplicity, its history. Our voices and foot steps echoed off the surrounding buildings. That was kinda cool. We walked to Piazza del Campo in the center of town. The shell-shaped piazza is made of stone and surrounded by the huge Palazzo Pubblico, its tall bell tower restaurants, shops and the like. Adela arranged lunch at Blandis Cafe overlooking the piazza. The stone and wood interior was cozy. Hundreds of race pictures were hung on every inch of the restaurant's walls. For lunch, we ate incredible meats, cheeses, olives, honey, balsamic vinegar, and bread and drank red wine, all from the Tuscan region. The proprietor, Luigi, joined us. I think he had a thing for Adela! Who wouldn't, she is truly gorgeous. Anyhow, he spoke to us in English, to practice he insisted. But, I actually preferred the sound of his Italian. He told us all about Siena, the piazza and the race. He showed pictures from last year's race from his cell phone. Said that there was no more room on the walls. :)Palio is held every July and August. Ten riders representing different city wards race bareback around the piazza 3 times on packed dirt brought in for the race. The face lasts about 90 seconds. To me, the race sounded really dangerous for horses and riders. Luigi said it was more dangerous for the crowds who were often drunk and stood in the middle of the piazza cheering the horses on. I want to come for the July race."That sounds pretty cool. I'd like to see that." Ty sighed.
After lunch, Luigi suggested that we see the bella chiesa (beautiful church, he told me)..After our goodbyes, a kiss on each cheek, Adela and I walked through the piazza, filled with vendors and their carts of scarves, paintings, ceramics, and other wares for sale to the Duomo di Siena. The cathedral is beautiful, so incredibly majestic. Adela said it's mixture of architectural styles, Italian Gothic, Romanesque and Classical. To me, it looked medieval, something out of a fairy tale. Anyhow, there is a dome, a tall bell tower, lots of spires, lots of statues of gargoyles, horses and saints, and a huge carved bronze door. But the neatest thing was that outside and inside of the cathedral was built of marble, in alternating stripes of white and black marble. The marble represents the colors of Siena and the white and black horses of the city's founders. It sounds so gaudy as I write this but it just so, so beautiful, enchanting.Where Norte Dame cathedral was huge and cavernous, Duomo di Siena was smaller, intimate, very special. Sacred, embracing. But very bold, strong, happy like a choir belting out a joyous song. Everywhere I looked was filled with breathtaking, vibrant art, architecture, history, stories. The tall columns of striped marble, towering ceilings, jeweled rose window, works by Michelangelo, Simone Martini, relics of saints, golden pulpit, ornate altar. The library had amazing frescos, the ceiling and walls had incredible paintings and intricate designs. Even the floor, a marble mosaic of colorful patterns, symbols, stories with saints, sinners, animals was incredible.Ty turned the page. A postcard with the cathedral's exterior and interior had been addressed to him. Amy had started to write a message but only got as far as "Ty. This cathedral is breathtaking. Someday.." Like the others, it was not stamped or mailed. He studied it momentarily. "Pretty." He said.
I was surprised how much time we spent in the church, the time seemed to fly. When we left at 5, the bells were ringing, late afternoon sun added a pretty glow to Duomo, a picturesque ending to the wonderful afternoon. On our ride to the airport, Omar called. He went to check on Fierce, to make amends, but the horse wasn't there. Not in his stall or in any of the stalls in the horse barn. He wanted to know if I knew of his whereabouts. When I said that I didn't, he became agitated. What he asked next shocked me. He asked if Fierce to been put down, if I had ordered it. I said No, that under no circumstance would I ever destroy Fierce or any other healthy animal. Then he asked me if Ahmed did. Honestly, I did not know how to respond. Instead, I asked him why he thought that. He said that it wouldn't be the first time.I tried my best to reassure him, and maybe reassure myself, that Dr. Antar was likely treating him somewhere else. But when I called the doctor, he did not answer. I left a message for him to call me. I called Ahmed as well, it went straight to voice mail. The flight home, seemed excruciatingly long, I agonized the entire three hours. When we landed, we went straight to the estate's stables. I could not find Fierce anywhere, but I did find Dr. Antar. He said to ask Ahmed. My worst fears came coming true. I found Ahmed at the Chateau. He admitted it, he ordered Fierce to be put down. I could not believe it. I was heartbroken."Oh Amy!" He felt for her, knew she always fought hard to save a horse, no matter how damaged.
I was so angry, so upset with him. I said that I could not work for someone who so callously and heartlessly would destroy a perfectly healthy animal. That he had no heart. That I quit."He's bad news Amy." Ty said to her journal. "But if you quit, why did you stay?"
He seemed very hurt. He apologized, said that he never wanted to upset me. Their long established practice was to euthanize horses that were damaged, could not perform. He said he only ordered it because I told Dr. Antar that Fierce was damaged, that there wasn't enough time to fix him. He thought he was doing what I wanted. He asked if he had misheard, if I had said something else. The thing is...I did tell to Dr. Antar that Fierce was damaged. But, I did NOT want him put down. I felt horrible. This was all my fault. Fierce could have been fixed, but instead he was dead. He didn't deserve that. He was a good horse. I just broke down and cried."Oh Amy." Ty knew her heart was broken. He had seen her risk her own life, work incredible hard, fight to save a horse.
Ahmed became very upset too. He apologized profusely. He asked me to stay, begged me really, that the team needed me, the horses needed me.Again, I said I could not work for him if that was his practice. I could not condone euthanizing any healthy horse.Ahmed promised that if I stayed, that would not happen again, that the practice would cease, that I would be in charge of the horses going forward. If I determined that a horse was no longer needed by the team, I would determine its fate, sell, rehome, whatever. And, when I sold a horse, I would keep the proceeds to compensate my time. I wanted a written addendum to our contract. That if it happened again or items outlined in the addendum were not followed,then my original contract would be null and void. (I learned that from Lou.) He agreed. His assistant wrote it up, we both signed it. We shook hands to seal our agreement. He thanked me for giving him another chance. In reality, my original contract forbid me from quitting without significant financial and other penalties to me personally and to Heartland potentially. We both knew that. The addendum gives me some assurances that the horses will be protected."Wow. Good move Amy." He was impressed with her business thinking but knew how hard she took Fierce's death.
Syed drove me home, I cried the entire trip home. I felt so bad, guilty. I called Omar. He too was upset, blamed himself. It's going to be hard to go forward. But everyone deserved a second chance."Why are you giving Omar a second chance? He caused all this mess." He challenged.
I also gave Dr. Antar an update, asked if he had told Ahmed about our conversation. He said No. I believe him. So how did Ahmed know?"Amy. Ahmed is spying on you." Ty answered her question aloud.
Amy's Journal Day 70On the next page, Ty found the addendum, just a short paragraph, both their signatures. A royal seal of some sort.
Today's team meeting was really hard. Ahmed was noticeably absent. I told the team about Fierce, about the miscommunication. I could not help myself, I was unprofessional, I started to cry and had to leave the room. Dr. Antar followed me, urged me to come back to the office. He reminded me of the upcoming competition this weekend in Rome. When I returned, Omar was off by himself, with his head in his hands. It was a tough morning meeting. We talked about the new horses, Noble Cause and Redwood. I changed up training sessions, some of the rider-horse pairs. I also banned whips. I gave each rider a handful of Canadian mints for horse rewards.Ahmed - EmirHassan - Noble CauseOmar - ZeusJamal - ReinMalik - RedwoodWith the team watching, I did a join up with Snow in an outside round pen. Then one by one, each rider tried a join up with their horse. Omar went first, he was very motivated. Malik had success but it took a while. The horses and riders both seemed to appreciate the mints and pets. Then the team went for a group ride, no more than a canter, into the open field to a small creek. Even Dr. Antar joined us. Adela arranged a picnic lunch just so we could all relax while the horses rested. Everyone talked about their weekend break...in English no less. That was really fun!After lunch, we moved on to Liberty work with Snow and I doing some very basic moves...mainly doing join up without a lunge line and in a big arena. Again, one by one, each rider practiced with the rest of the team watching. That was less successful but kinda fun as well. After Liberty, the team practiced jumping, only one round. Noble Cause was incredible. So was Snow. Omar and Zeus made a good match. Redwood was not on his game. Lastly, each rider had to groom their own horse and talk to him or her. The riders grumbled a lot. But, these things were all done to establish the relationship between rider and horse.Ahmed did not show all day. According to his assistant, Ahmed had some business, whatever that means. I am a little peeved at him. Wonder if he's afraid of what the team thinks about Fierce?After practice, I rode Winter's Snow for about 30 minutes outside. She is a wonderful horse, I feel so much better. After that I redid the training plans so I got home really late. Too tired, so short entry...Ty saw that Amy's entries for the remainder of the week, were also short, focused solely on the long day's work, no calls home.
Amy's Journal Day 74The day started early, the riders exercised their horse in the indoor arena, then ventured outside to do basic Liberty work. The pairs have gelled nicely, in just five days. Except Ahmed. He has been preoccupied all week, when he did show up for training, he was not focused at all. I saw him leaving the estate this morning with at least 3 suited men. He looked very upset.We flew to Rome for the International Horse Show which starts tomorrow. This time with the team, five horses, Emir, Noble Cause, Zeus, Redwood and Rein, five grooms, Dr. Antar, Adela and I traveled. Each of the riders will only compete in the individual event, we opted to skip the team event. As usual, the horses were transported via Equiline, Dr. Antar and I assisted the grooms in the preflight checks and loading. We traveled by private jet into Rome. Ahmed was not aboard. No one knew where he was. I called him, but no answer. After checking on the horses in their stable, we checked into the Roma Hassler, a 5-star hotel at the top of the Spanish Stairs. Adela and I shared a spacious room on the top floor overlooking Rome, the gardens and the Spanish Stairs...really pretty views especially at night. Adela arranged for the twelve of us to meet at the oldest pub in Rome, Antico Caffè Greco. 260 years old. The pub was more like an art gallery, high ceiling, polish dark moldings, elaborate wallpapered walls, antique chairs and tables, artwork galore. It was packed with tourists, but somehow Adela secured a back room, much quieter, and personalized service. We ate pizza, talked and laughed. We all had on our SA Equestrian Team uniforms, so our waiter took our picture for their wall. Everyone was in good spirits, but a bit anxious for the competition. Ahmed called right after I got in bed. He apologized for missing the flight and the competition. He sounded distant, sad, upset. He told me that his oldest friend was in a car wreck Sunday night, succumbed to his injuries this morning. He was the in Spain for the funeral. He sounded so very sad. I wish that I could somehow relieve his pain. Even princes are not immune to loss.Ty frowned.
Amy's Journal Day 75It's been very good day!!In the first rounds, Hassan and Noble Cause placed first and Omar and Zeus placed fourth in their individual event. Because the scores between the top four riders were just a fraction of a point apart, the officials called for a jump off. I was nervous for certain. I didn't want Hassan to slip from first but I did want Omar to move up. I was on pins and needles. Hassan and Noble Cause prevailed, they won!! Omar and Zeus inched up to third by the skins of their teeth. But a win is a win! We were ecstatic!"Way to go Amy!! That's my girl!" Ty was truly pleased for her.
Jamal and Rein placed seventh and Malik and Redwood were near last. Naturally, they were frustrated for themselves. They seemed happy for their team mates. As a team, we called Ahmed to let him know our good news. He sounded happy but exhausted. He congratulated the team and told them he was proud of them. Everyone was pleased, especially Hassan and Omar. Malik and I talked briefly, he was disappointed with his performance and wanted to switch out horses. Together we talked about how to improve things with Redwood over the next couple of weeks. Together we decided this before we made any change in his horse pairing. After the winners bowls and ribbons were presented, the team and I attended a press conference. With Ahmed absent, I had to speak first for the team, our training methods, our philosophy for buying quality, competition ready horses. And, big one question, why wasn't the prince there? I was nervous, but I think I did okay. Most of the questions were directed to Hassan. He actually said my unusual training methods enabled him to establish his bond with Noble Cause in just 5 days which led to their win. Several Saudi Arabian men wearing white thobes were at the press conference. They congratulated Omar and Hassan but did not approach me. It might be their culture, I tried not to take it personally. Throughout the competition, I kept my eye out for other promising horses. The Italian team had a horse in reserve named Solstice, that caught my eye. He reminded me of Spartan, dark, tall, muscular, proud. After the press conference, Alessandro Picolini, the Italian team's new trainer, congratulated me, then introduced himself, we chatted briefly. I love his accent!"Another guy Amy? You are killing me." Ty huffed.
When I mentioned that I had to exercise Emir, he said that he had to exercise Solstice, suggested that we ride together. I jumped at the chance to see the horse in action. Regardless, it was really nice to talk with another trainer, about techniques, horses, upcoming competitions, and such. I invited Alessandro and his team to dinner with us. Adela had arranged dinner at Ristorante Pierluigi, a restaurant on the beautiful Piazza di Navona. Of course Adela-Lou selected my outfit, a pretty butter colored wrap dress that l' Amant sent with my old sandals...which of course she mentioned needed replacement. Ha. What would I do without her!The evening was clear, warm and lovely, so we ate outside, aria fresca, on the restaurant's patio in the midst of the16th century square, it's beautiful fountains and palace. Violinists played soft, romantic music as people walked by laughing and talking in all sorts of languages. Between the two teams, we had a group of 18. Everyone got along well as we mostly talked about the day's competition and others coming up. After dinner a few of us walked around the square and threw coins into the piazza's famous foundations, one called Fontana dei Quattro Fiumi (Fountain of the Four Rivers).Alessandro promised to give us a tour of Colosseum in the morning and the Vatican in the afternoon tomorrow before we flew home. I am excited to see those. With our first real wins, I feel for the first time I can breath. I bet I will sleep well tonight. Amy's Journal Day 76Folded in the page was a newspaper article on Saudi Arabia team's win at the International Horse shown in Rome. The article was accompanied by a photo of Amy beaming sitting between Hassan and Omar after their big win.
He was elated for her.
And, two postcards, one of the Colosseum and one of the Sistine Capel ceiling, both unaddressed. Another white envelope. This one contained tickets to the Colosseum and Vatican. A receipt for Leathers di Luigi for 125 for sandalo.
Ahmed surprised us when he showed up at his breakfast in the hotel. He had gotten in late the night before. He seemed very tired, sad and quiet, his eyes were bloodshot. I can't imagine losing Soraya, my oldest and best friend. Understandably, his mood affected the entire group. Alessandro met us (Ahmed, Adela, Dr. Antar, Hassan, Omar, Jamal, Malik and me) at the Colosseum with tickets in hand. The line was long but given his celebrity in Italy, we went into a different entrance. The Colosseum was impressive, not just in size and structure, but in design. It was still standing after 2000 years. The structure could hold 50k spectators and held gladiators contents, animal hunts and reenactment of battles. They would even flood the bottom level to have ship battle reenactments. Crazy. Afterward we had lunch at a small outside cafe, I had something called gnocchi, small pasta balls made of potato and cheese with a basil sauce. Love Italian food. Ahmed was pretty subdued the entire morning except when Alessandro and I discussed Solstice. I had inquired about whether he was for sale, that I was really interested in him. Alessandro said No. Ahmed asked Adela and me to give him time alone with Alessandro. So Adela and I checked out a couple of shops across the street. I bought a pair of sandals that met Adela-Lou's approval. Ha. Crazy. We were gone no more than 30 minutes. When we returned Ahmed had purchased Solstice for 380k. Both men seemed pleased. Soon after, Ahmed took a car back to the hotel to "refresh".Only Adela, Alessandro and I went to the Vatican. We started with a tour of the massive Papal gardens, full of beautiful plants and flowers, huge trees, fountains, statues, an olive tree that was 1000s of years old. There were even parrots that flying around. We walked through the Sistine Chapel whose magnificent ceiling is painted by Michelangelo. Incredible. We also toured St. Peter's Basilica which is huge, filled works of art, huge displays of wealth and influence. Even the Swiss Guard in their orange, blue and red striped uniforms stand guard. Little known fact, the Vatican is actual a country! The pope is the ruler. After that we flew home on a private jet. Ahmed Adela and I sat together in the lounge area. He told us of his best friend, Khalil, how they met at boarding school when they were very young. Being very homesick and shy, they gravitated to each other and became inseparable. He told funny stories of the two of them playing soccer, riding horses and even, riding camels. He said Khalil was really his only friend, was always honest, and would tell him when he was a fool. He also said I reminded him of Kahlil. I felt so very sad for him.Ty grumbled. "He's playing you Amy."
Georgie called tonight. She had been watching the web about our win in Rome and was so excited to talk. It was fun relaying yesterday's events. Ty called tonight too, we talked just briefly. Seems like we say the same thing. We're both busy, we miss each other, we love each other. He didn't seem that interested in the Rome competition so...I didn't say much. But it feels...off. Like there is something that needs to be said but it's not. I miss him like crazy. Maybe he doesn't feel the same? Maybe I am just tired. It is almost midnight after all. Sent him a text.He found the text. "Ty. I miss you like crazy. It's really hard to be so far away from you. Love you. Xoxoxo" he noticed that he didn't respond for almost a day.
"I missed you like crazy too Ames." He sighed, thinking back.
Amy's Journal Day 77White envelop contained two receipts, one from l' Amant in Paris for 750 for mutandine (4) and vestito (10) and one for 250 in beauty services from Elle B.
This morning when Syed picked me up, there was a white envelope on the back seat addressed to me. Inside was pin with a green palm tree above two crossed swords, Saudi Arabia's official crest. He said it was to congratulate me on our Roman wins. I asked him what symbolized. He said it represents that prosperity (the palm) can only be had through Justice (swords). Very Sweet. The ride to the Chateau was really long because of road work. So we talked about this and that but we ended up talking about our Misser Club. He asked me if my heart had grown fonder. I told him that my heart ached terribly all the time. He said his ached too. We were silent for the rest of the trip. Sigh. Checked on the horses first thing to ensure that they made the flight home from Rome in good condition. Solstice was already making friends with Snow! We started again with join-up, Liberty, jumping then and afternoon ride then grooming. Ahmed was out last week so I worked one in one with him today and probably will the entire week. He missed so much due to the death of his friend. He seems lost, very sad, quiet. My heart goes out to him. I suggested that we have a celebration tonight at the Chateau for the success at Rome. Thought it may help him get his mind off Kahlil, for a moment. He agreed. Adela and I met with Saad, the residence manager. We decided because the weather would be nice, we have a buffet on the terrace. They decided on the food thankfully - Kabsa, Tamees, Lamb Mande, Umm Ali and some type of cardamon cookies. And, other food. I just deferred to Adela and Saad. I decided on other things. White table cloth, white hydrangeas with greenery for the flower arrangements (SA flag colors), white lights and candles, sparklers and Chinese lanterns. Think that it will be great. Adela-Lou had a stylist come to do my hair and make-up and another to do my nails and toes. She said that this a celebration of me too. That I had done well and I should be proud of me! She almost made me cry. That Adela-Lou!! I really miss my Lou. She would have loved all this pampering. Per usual, Andrie sent me four dresses to chose from for the event. I decided, with Adela-Lou's blessing, a pretty white sundress with green accents like on the straps because it matched the color theme for the celebration. I wore my new Italian sandals and the pin that Syed gave me. The celebration tonight was way better than I expected. The outside terrace was lit with little white lights and candles, flowers everywhere. The really long table with a white table cloth was set beautifully with china and pretty flowers. The buffet was abundant and the food was really good. Saad had arranged to have lamb roasted underground for several hours as a highlight of the dinner. Tasty. Five musicians played tradition Arabic music with instruments that I had never seen before Oud (looked like a pregnant short guitar), Nay (looked a bit like a recorder), Qanun (looked like a flat harp), Rik (looked like a tambourine) and violin (I know what that is!). The music was new and different to my ear, a little haunting. The team love it though. At dinner, Ahmed sat at the head and me to his right. He made a speech. The he asked me to say some words too. Then he toasted the team. Then he toasted me. :) At the end of the evening, everyone enjoyed the sparklers and Chinese lanterns. It was a very fun evening. Ahmed seemed to have brightened a bit during the celebration. But, a couple of times, I found him by himself, deep in thought. I sat with him until others joined. I keep thinking about Soraya, how devastated I would be. Tried to call Ty. No answer. I did get a text from him though. "Hey Ames. I am missing you so much. Xoxo" That's something.Ty grimaced.
Then I called Soraya, we talked and laughed for an hour. Gosh, I really needed that!He breezed through two weeks of her journal, most of which focused on work, each horse and each rider. He noticed that she had several work sessions one-on-one with Ahmed.
Amy's Journal Day 89Ty opened the white envelope which contained a wiring to Hudson Ranch Bank for 15k, pay stub for 30k with 20k for regular pay, 10k for bonus.
Payday is always a good day. But today when I opened my paycheck, there was a huge surprise, a bonus for our first and third place wins in Rome a couple of weeks ago. :)When I arrived at the barn at 6am., both Jamal and Omar were waiting for me, unusual for them in a Saturday. Jamal wanted schedule to extra Liberty sessions with Solstice for the competition in Barcelona next weekend. He and Solstice had made excellent progress. So we actually switched out the afternoon ride for Liberty work. Omar on the other hand wanted to switch out Zeus for Winter's Snow. I hadn't intended for her to be in competition, but she had proven to be an excellent jumper, with solid, consistent form and graceful style. So we made the switch. Redwood has been somewhat of a disappointment so Malik will now be paired with Zeus. I had been working with Juliet for preparation for sale. I may need to add Redwood to that list.He had just turned the page, His phone vibrated, it was a text from Amy.
"Hey. I am in the barn."
"I will be there shortly." He texted back.
Naked as a jay bird, he ambled over to the dryer, threw his damp towel in the basket, pulled his clean clothes out of the dryer, dressed and folded the rest. Stiff from sitting and reading, he did some quick stretches before jogging to the barn.
There, he found Parsnip in her stall but no Amy. He called for her.
"Upstairs!" She yelled back.
Taking the loft steps two at a time, he found her sitting on the bed, back against the headboard, knees pulled up close to her. Her long golden hair falling around her shoulders, drawing a curtain around her puppy nestled to her bosom, as she leaned forward to feed her puppy with a bottle. Ruth sucked on the nipple with great gusto, making audible sighs and gulps. He stopped at the door, her journal in hand, smiled at the sight.
"Feeding time. She's hungry." She looked up from her mom duties.
"I see...mind if I sit next to you?" he asked hopefully.
"Please. I'll scoot over." She moved over to one side. Bottle empty, she set it on the nightstand, then pulled her sleepy puppy closer.
Ty crossed the room, stood by the bed, until Amy patted the bed next to her, inviting him.
"Come, sit."
He sat down, next to her, close. Like her, his back against headboard, but his legs outstretched, ankles crossed. "How was your ride?" He started off.
"Good. Well, at least it ended good." She continued. "We ended up at the old jumping course."
"Really?"
"Yeah." She smiled. "You know, riding there, just being there, makes everything better somehow. It always has."
"Yeah." He reached in, petted the puppy's head. Ruth sighed, yawned, making them both smile.
She leaned up a little to catch his eye. "Hey. Thanks." She said quietly.
"For what?" His green eyes looked into hers.
"The jumping course. It's been a special place with wonderful memories...it's helped me get through some really tough times...over the years. Thank you." Her eyes started to get misty so she quickly looked down at her pup and kissed her pink nose.
"Hey." He lean down so he could catch her eye. "Amy. What is it?"
"Nothing." She said quietly, not meeting his eyes.
"Hey now. Did you already forget our pinkie swear just this morning? Come on. Fess up." He gently chided her.
She didn't responded.
"Amy?" He reached over, touched her chin, gently turned her head back towards his direction. "Tell me."
She nodded, sighed. "Okay...Fine. I think I have to move out of loft." Her voice a little wobbly.
"Oh? Back to the house?" He tried to tamp down his glee. He was sick of living in the trailer, no water, no electricity. He would move back into the loft in a heartbeat. And no rent.
She shook her head No.
"Wait. You mean, leave Heartland?" He was incredulous. "Are you serious?"
She nodded, exhaled heavily. "Ty. I can't stay here. I just can't afford it. I will never be able to stand on my own two feet, to be my own person...if I stay here." She said it out loud for the first time.
"Why? Wait. Does this have anything to do with Lou?" He ventured.
"Guess you heard that?" She frowned.
"I only heard part of your conversation." He admitted.
"Conversation? You mean shakedown?" She said sarcastically. She paused, pushed her hair behind her ear, then corrected herself. "No. No. That's not fair. I made the decision along time ago to run mom's business instead of going to college. It was my choice."
"How long have you been paying for all the ranch horses upkeep?" He pushed.
"Oh. So, you know?"
He nodded. "I do now. I had no idea until this morning. Then your wire receipts to Heartland's account in your journal confirmed it. So, how long?"
"Pretty much since mom..." She sighed, hesitated. "Died." Even after all this time, it was hard to say. A twinge shot through her chest, like the tiniest shock. It still hurt.
"Oh Amy." He placed his hand on her bent knee, his thumb involuntarily stroking it. A habit from way back, his hand on her knee under the dining room table, supporting her, encouraging her.
She loved his touch, she felt reassured. "At first it was okay. There were only four horses. Remember?"
"Yeah. Spartan, Paint, Copper and Pegasus."
"Exactly. Supplies, feed, meds were cheaper...plus, grandpa grew the hay. Back then, no one thought I could do it..so expectations were so low...I was so proud to do my part. To continue mom's legacy. You know...but now..."
"But now there are 15 ranch horses."
"Ah huh. And. Everything's is more expensive. With all the cows now, there is a whole lot less hay to go around..." she groaned.
"Yeah. I remember when Jack had to start buying hay from Tim. Then that whole panic about Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy from Stumpy's hay."
"Oh Yeah." She shrugged her shoulders.
"Regardless. That's a ton of money to bring in every month. 15k." Then he asked "Why did you agree to take on so much...especially the Dude Ranch horses?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "I know this will come as a surprise to you...but I am stubborn." She said it seriously.
He threw his head back and laughed. "Tell me something I don't know." He pinched her side.
"Ouch!" She jumped back, feigned pain, then giggled.
"Continue Ms. Stubborn."
"Right. It was a point of pride. Lou said I couldn't do it, I said could."
"But 15?"
"I know. Believe me. I know. They weren't added all at once."
"Even while you were in Europe? Even though only one of the horses is yours?" He still had a hard time understanding.
She leaned her head back against the wall, closed her eyes for just a moment. She seemed to shrink back into herself, then she continued. "Here's the thing. To me each horse, every horse has purpose, potential, brings joy. Think about Pal for Shane or Pogey for Katie or Phoenix for Georgie."
"Harley for me." He added.
"Yeah. Him too. I just told myself that if I just worked a bit harder, a bit smarter, earned a bit more, it would be okay. I really love what I do... It's who I am. I didn't want to fail...any horse, or anyone."
"I get that. As long as I have known you, you put the horses first. Before anything. Including yourself."
She just listened.
"I wish you would have told me." He added.
"Would it have changed anything?"
"You've been paying for Harley for years. You should have told me. You had all this on you. All that pressure. I could have helped."
"I love Harley." She said seriously, trying to get away from the money part.
"I know you do. But, you shoulda told me."
"You love him too." She suggested.
"I do but still." He conceded.
"What would you have done if I did told you? Would you have felt guilty? Would you have taken on more than you already had? Would you have sold him? That would have broken my heart."
"I don't know. But I may have bought less beer." He teased, grinned.
"Wow. That would be a lot of beer." She teased him, she patted his stomach. "And no beer gut."
"Well, what can I say? I have an amazing metabolism." He bragged just to make her laugh.
And she did. "Of course you do." Ruth clutched to her chest with one hand, she got out of bed, crossed the room. Pulling two cold water bottles from the mini refrigerator, she handed him one as she climbed back in bed next to him.
"Thanks. Want me to open yours?" She nodded. They both took a long swig, then settled back into conversation.
"Tell me Amy. Do you have to leave? Stay. Why can't you stay? Work it out with Lou?" He suggested, asked, edged on pleading.
"No. I can't stay." She whispered, but her words were firm. Unmovable.
"But. You'll stay in Hudson, right? Maybe you can stay with..." he tried to think of options.
"Funny isn't it. I really don't have any friends in Hudson to stay with. Kinda sad, huh?" She said with deep regret.
"That's not true."
"It is Ty." She shrugged again, trying it to brush off like it was nothing.
"I'm your friend. You could stay with me. In the trailer." He knew that made no sense, he can't even stay there.
"You're sweet, but no." She shook her head, No, for certainty.
"So. Where would you go?"
"I don't know yet, but I doubt I'll stay in Hudson. But. Wherever I go, I will take Spartan." She held her sleeping puppy up to her face, plunged her nose into her furry neck. Inhaled deeply.
"You'd take him with you?" He seemed surprised, worried. "But Ames. That seems so final."
"Yeah." She paused. "And Ruthie. Of course." She smiled, offered a consolation prize. "You can have the loft back."
"That's not the point." He protested. "I don't want you to leave. It won't be the same without you." Sounding somewhat desperate, somewhat hesitant at the same time.
She laughed callously. "Don't worry. You'll survive. It wasn't that long ago that you could not stand to look at me, not alone speak to me." Needlessly, she stabbed back.
He sighed.
"Ty. I am sorry. That wasn't fair." Her tone conciliatory, softened.
He shook his head. "No. You are right. I was an asshole. I deserve that and more."
She leaned her head against the wall, closed her eyes. Then she looked at him. "Ty. That was a lousy thing to say. Sorry." She confessed. "Guess I'm trying to make it easier. For you. And for me. No expectations."
"Easy? Speak for yourself Amy Fleming. I am not going to let you go that easily."
She shrugged her shoulders. "It's okay, Ty. You don't have say that. I don't expect.."
"Hush. Look. I understand why you want to leave. Maybe even need to leave. I wish you wouldn't. But I won't stand in your way."
She smirked at his comment.
He saw her expression quickly added, "Not that I have any say so." He continued on. "I do plan on keeping up with you. I plan to talk to you every day. See you as much as I can. If you let me."
"Oh that's your plan, huh?" She laughed. "Really?"
"Yes. That's my plan." Then he shook his head. "I know it sounds like a rerun of every time we have been apart. Maybe I'll, rather we'll, get it right. This time."
"Why would this be any different? Like you said, we've been down this road before. It's a rerun." Amy said flatly, resigned to their separate lives.
"Reading your journal makes me realize a lot of things."
"Okay..? Like what?" She was curious.
"For one. I did a lousy job of staying in touch with the woman I loved and planned to marry. We should have talked more, I mean really talk, every day."
"Yeah. We shoulda both tried harder." His words stabbed her heart, her eyes grew misty again. His words in past tense rolling around in her head.
"Yeah." They sat there silently, side by side, each lamenting all that had been lost, not sure if there was anything left to say.
After several minutes, he smiled. "You know what I will miss most?"
"No, what?"
"This. Talking. Not talking. Being with you. Laughing. Morning coffee with you has been really nice too."
"Yeah. It has been. But, all good things must come to an end. Or so they say." She added. "I will leave you the coffee maker and cups."
"What if I don't want it to end?" He asked earnestly.
"Guess that's up to you." Then she added. "But. If you really want. You can come visit me for coffee at my new digs. Wherever they are."
"I will. Maybe not morning coffee. But afternoon coffee? Every day."
She rolled her eyes, "I am not going to hold you to it."
"Okay. A bit unrealistic." He nodded. "How about as much as I can?"
"I'd like that."
"So. What are your options?"
"Well. I have an opportunity in Okotoks. At the Polo Club. If I train at least one class a day, I can have housing for me and Spartan. Plus, I can stable other horses and run a small business there."
"That sounds promising."
"Yeah. There's a lot of upside. I will make lots of contacts too."
"And, selfishly, not too far away. So I could potentially see you every day."
She gave him a doubtful look.
"Yeah, probably not." He paused. "Um. Will you come to see me?"
She laughed. "Of course."
"So other options?"
"That's it so far." She scrunched up her nose. "But, I am talking with a few folks today."
"Nick, Summer and Walter?"
"Yeah." She fell silent, pensive.
"Will you tell them?"
"Who? Grandpa, Lou, Dad, you mean?"
"Yeah."
"Yes, of course! I am not running away like a petulant two year old! Can you imagine the stories people would fabricate!" She laughed. "So. Yes. I will absolutely tell them. No matter what's happened, they are my family, I love them. I am not leaving to punish them. I am leaving as an adult to pursue my dreams, my life."
"Good."
"Please. Let me be the one to tell them. I need to figure out my plan first. But I will tell them before I move."
"Promise. I won't say a thing. After all, it's your story to tell. Not mine."
"You know. I hope that they will come visit me." She sighed, "And. I hope that they will welcome me to Heartland to visit too."
"They will." He put his arm around her shoulder and hugged her to him. "I am proud of you."
"Are you?" She doubt that.
"Amy. Listen to me." He hugged her a little closer. "You are an amazing, strong, modern woman. Yes. I am very proud of you."
"Thanks." She smiled.
"And, you know what?"
"What?"
"I love you very much." He kissed her forehead.
"I love you too." She smiled, leaned her head to his shoulder.
"It will be alright."
"Promise?"
Happy New Year. Hope 2021 holds only the best for you and yours.
Siena Italy is one of my favorite places in the world. The Duomo is absolutely breathtaking. It's like no other cathedral I have seen across Europe, Canada and the US. There is just something quite intimate, personal, sacred inside its walls. In my mind, no words can do it justice, certainly not mine.
Take care. Let me know what you think.
SBR
Ps. The Heartland world has changed drastically this week. Good thing we can make up our own stories.