Chapter 14: Crossing the Bridge
Ezra and Sabine deal with the aftermath of the Arkania mission when things seem to be falling apart for Ezra and his efforts in the Rebellion.
Things had certainly been tense after Hera chose to suspend Ezra's command. The day had already gone poorly for Ezra, and that only added to it, putting him into a more sour mood. And Hera's decision combined with Ezra's managing to bite his tongue instead of arguing was making things feel a bit awkward. No one was saying anything as they all just stood there, but Kanan eventually spoke up, coaxing Ezra into following him somewhere, just the two of them. From there, everyone began to disperse but Sabine chose to stay put and wait for Ezra to return. She was reasonably sure that he'd be looking for her once Kanan finished with whatever he had to say.
As for Hera, initially, Sabine had been taken aback by how furious she was with Ezra for disobeying orders. After all, when it came to the Rebellion, disobeying orders was hardly anything new for any of them. Plans always seemed to be more of just guidelines for any mission, and Sabine wondered if perhaps the loss of the Phantom might have had more than a little to do with Hera's fiery decision. But then Sabine thought about how Hera had brought the entire Phoenix squadron fleet with her to ensure their escape and figured that certainly had to play a part too. Still, Ezra made a judgment call, at the time seeing that the bombers were being slagged left and right.
Had they done nothing but reconnaissance as ordered, then there wouldn't have been any bombers to liberate. Sabine couldn't fault Ezra for wanting to take action even though at the time she'd given him a hard time throughout with little lapses like needing to refuel the bombers. If the roles had been reversed, she couldn't say for certain that she wouldn't have made the same decision. Regardless, the missing hyperdrives were what actually caused the mission to go awry.
If the hyperdrives hadn't been removed, they all would've escaped, save for Ezra. In her opinion, it was almost a blessing that the hyperdrives had been removed because, in essence, that very well saved Ezra's life. For Sabine at least, losing the Phantom over a handful of bombers was a small price to pay. Ezra was too important to the Rebellion, to the Ghost crew, and more recently, to her.
And the brief thought of the Ghost crew brought her back to Kanan rejoining them. It almost felt like things might be getting back to normal again. It'd been so long since they'd all been together that Sabine had been doubting they'd ever be together as a family again, but now Kanan was back and they were whole again. She just hoped that it would be permanent for all of their sakes, but Ezra's especially.
The suspended command was just the most recent thing added to what had been a difficult time for the young Jedi, and no one had come to know that better than Sabine. She'd been forced to sit back as Ezra virtually tortured himself under the guise of training, although it did pay dividends in his strength both physically and through the Force, but the loss of his mentor for such an extended length of time was what weighed on him the most. Now she wondered how much that absence had strained things between teacher and student.
Ever since his injury, Kanan had distanced himself from everyone, and Ezra had been blaming himself for that just as much if not more than costing Ahsoka her life. Sabine recalled the amount of hurt she saw in Ezra's eyes whenever he would ask where Kanan was until he eventually stopped asking to save himself from it. Kanan certainly owed everyone an apology and Ezra should be first on that list. She hoped that was what Kanan was doing with Ezra and not putting his foot in his mouth to make things worse between them. They needed to begin healing together, and Kanan needed to make the first move.
"Why don't you have a seat?" Kanan suggested as he kneeled next to Ezra.
Ezra sighed in frustration but did drop down, kneeling next to Kanan. He'd gone along with Kanan to thank him for the save, but didn't want to be around anyone aside from perhaps Sabine at the moment. He was still incredibly angry about having his command suspended and needed some time to cool off, and he was seriously questioning why he didn't just leave. While he truly did appreciate Kanan coming back, the trust between the two of them had been damaged. Kanan hadn't been there when Ezra needed him for quite some time, and the one time he was there, he took away the only true source that had actually been helping him become stronger.
He didn't care about Kanan's beliefs concerning the use of the Sith Holocron. Kanan may believe that it was a trap as he'd said, but without Kanan being there to train him, Ezra felt like he had no other recourse. And during his training with the Sith artifact, he had become stronger. It had been helpful to him, and he chose to lean on his own experience with it as evidence to refute Kanan's belief. The only thing that he regretted and would cop to was that he hid it from everyone, but he had every intention of showing them all once he was strong enough to learn how to destroy the Sith. Then, he'd have all the proof that Kanan, that the Jedi were wrong. Ahsoka had been right. In order to defeat an enemy, first, you needed to know them.
"I can sense your doubt, Ezra," Kanan said, snapping the Padawan from his thoughts.
"It's just been a long day, Kanan," Ezra responded with a sigh as he stood up and dusted himself off. "Can we do this tomorrow?"
Kanan wanted to dissuade Ezra from leaving, but he also sensed how Ezra's frustration had as much to do with his absence as anything else. He needed to tread lightly for the time being. "Tomorrow then," he said and watched as Ezra didn't hesitate in walking away. That did hurt a little, knowing how close they'd been before and seeing for himself for the second time how damaged that relationship had become. That was what his self-imposed distance had done. It was his fault, and as such, his responsibility to repair. He'd splintered the relationships he had with each member of the Ghost crew in one way or another, and he needed to mend those relationships before anyone would be able to move forward positively.
For all of Kanan's abilities with being a Jedi, he still lacked greatly when it came to resolving emotional issues. It was something that most of the Jedi struggled with in attempting to maintain their inner balance, and because of this, he was going to need assistance to ensure he didn't stick his foot in his mouth. Fortunately, he knew the perfect person to help him out and it didn't take long to find her either.
After having to punish Ezra for his brash and unwise decisions, he knew that Hera would be in her ship for the rest of the evening, where she felt most comfortable in her skin. It hadn't been easy on Hera to punish Ezra, regardless of the lack of hesitating on suspending him. She took it personally when something undesirable happened to any member of the Ghost crew, but especially so with Sabine or Ezra. She'd really taken a liking to Ezra, just like she had with Sabine, and had to hate being the one to punish either of them, regardless of the justification. As such, Kanan found her, exactly where he knew she'd be, in the pilot's seat, clutching a fresh cup of caf as she stared off into the night sky through the viewport.
"That didn't take long," she commented before Kanan even got to the co-pilot's seat. "How did it go?"
"Ezra's still a little frustrated," Kanan answered. "And confused, apprehensive, the list goes on."
"Did you tell him that you don't blame him for what happened on Malachor?" Hera asked, taking her eyes off the sky to watch how Kanan would respond to the question, even though she already had a good idea about it.
At first, Kanan opened his mouth to say that Ezra didn't really give him the chance, but in reality, the topic was just never broached. "No," he eventually answered. "I didn't push the topic. Maybe I should have, but it didn't feel like it was the right time to touch on such a sensitive subject."
"After what I had to do, I think Ezra would've welcomed something a little uplifting, regardless of the topic." Hera pointed out. "If you didn't talk about Malachor, then what did you two talk about?"
"The Sith Holocron that Ezra's been using as part of his individual training," he replied.
"Ezra's been using that thing?" Hera asked in surprise.
"He was, "Kanan answered. At least, up until I took it from him before they left for that half-botched bomber mission. I caught him with it when I took your advice and went to talk to Ezra. He admitted to using it when I realized that he'd opened it. I would've told you earlier, but I knew I had to get it from him as soon as I could. and he was but he'd already been influenced by it and admitted to using what he learned from it to win several battles.
"What does that mean though, Kanan?"
"The best-case scenario would be that we're right back to where we were when Ezra accidentally tapped into the Dark side," Kanan explained. "But I wouldn't expect that to be the case. For starters, I could only guess how long Ezra's been influenced by that Holocron, and that's not even concerning compared to the fact that Ezra was knowingly using the Dark side this time. His willingness to use it is the more dangerous slope. If I were being honest, I'm afraid he's never been so close to being lost to us."
"So, what are you going to do?"
"I have to be careful here, Hera," Kanan answered. "Right now, he's filled with anger and fear, and I'm sure he's been using those feelings to tap into the Dark side. He's angry with me for pulling away and afraid of losing anyone else he holds close. If I'm not careful with how I approach this, there's a risk that he could continue slipping down that slope."
"Is there anything that I can do to help?" Hera asked, fearing any possibility of losing the young man who'd become like a son to her.
Kanan rubbed his bearded chin in contemplation. "Well, we could use his suspension to keep him from being on some of the more risky or incendiary missions in the near future. That will give me more opportunities to work with him and rebuilt some of the trust I've lost. Regardless, we need to take advantage of the opportunity this last mission presented for us."
"What was that?" Hera asked, beginning to wonder if she'd only helped encourage Ezra to go down the dangerous path he'd been taking without a Jedi to guide him. She'd been blinded by his overwhelming growth and success for the Rebellion and was beating herself up for not thinking he was being anything more than a hormonal teenager.
"Ezra tried to justify using the Holocron, telling me how the Holocron helped him succeed with mission after mission," Kanan explained. "And we may have caught a break with him experiencing failure this time, it could bring in some doubt about the actual effectiveness of the Dark side. If that turns out to be the case, we need to take advantage of this window of opportunity the Force has provided.
"Hey!" Sabine called out when she spotted Ezra stomping away with a thumper in hand. For whatever reason, Ezra didn't respond, so she jogged up beside him, gently bumping shoulders with him. "Where are you off to?"
"To start the beginning of my suspension," Ezra grumbled, continuing to march forward without even looking at her.
"Want some company?" Sabine offered. "We could take my speeder if you want."
At that suggestion, Ezra did pause briefly before turning to look at her. "I'm not sure I'd be good company right now, Sabine," he said.
She heard his warning but it wasn't a no, so Sabine decided that she would come along. "That's alright," she responded. "I'll grab some paint and blankets, maybe some caf, and then we can head out. You can talk until you're blue in the face or say absolutely nothing at all."
"Don't say I didn't warn you," Ezra said, knowing that Sabine would just follow him out anyway if he tried to argue with her.
Sabine smiled as she grabbed Ezra by the hand, pulling him back in the direction of the Ghost. She knew of a spot that looked brilliant in the moonlight and would be a perfect scene to capture in a piece of artwork. In Ezra's current mood, Sabine decided it would be best to have him wait outside while she grabbed the materials she would need. It only ended up taking a couple of minutes to gather everything, as her paints were always ready to go and it looked like Hera had recently made a fresh pot of caf, with only a couple of cups worth missing. Sabine placed the rest into a travel container and started another pot before she grabbed a couple of blankets and headed back out.
While Ezra did let her gather everything from inside the Ghost, he wasn't about to have her doing everything. So, as soon as Sabine exited the ship, he immediately took the supplies she'd gathered and begun stowing them away. That turned out to be a bit of a challenge though as the speeder didn't have an abundance of storage space, but he managed to pack everything away by using some ingenuity where he could. To save some space, Ezra used the blankets as extra seat cushioning as well as wrapping the thumper toward the back of the seat. That ended up being just enough for him to squeeze Sabine's canvas on board.
Throughout the entire trip, Ezra remained quiet, not even commenting on the scenery once they arrived. Sabine wasn't expecting a response, but she had hoped that he'd at least open up a little by the time they arrived. As it stood, his silence was telling her that he was more emotionally charged than she'd anticipated, causing her wonder if Kanan had done what she feared and only ended up adding to Ezra's frustration.
He still kept up his silence while Sabine set out her canvas and paints, and that was when she'd had enough of it. "So, are you going to stop sulking and tell me what happened?" She asked.
"You were there," Ezra pointed out as if she should have known.
"I meant between you and Kanan," Sabine explained as she put the first of many brush strokes to canvas.
"Not much," Ezra told her, figuring it would be best to just tell her outright. "Just some Jedi stuff that would probably bore you."
"So now you think you know what would bore me?" Sabine teasingly asked.
"No," Ezra quickly responded before beginning to pace as his thoughts returned to that short meeting with Kanan and how best to tell Sabine. "It's just… he doesn't agree with how I've been training all this time without him. He said that there's a better way, and I'm not sure I believe him. I mean, up until this last mission, I've only been getting better and better. Then just when I have this one mission go badly, he comes back and tells me that I've been doing it all wrong."
"Maybe Kanan's right and there is a better way, Ezra" Sabine offered. "I mean, sure, you've had some success in leading missions, but no mission is ever perfect. You have to know that there's always room for improvement, and you also have to admit that Kanan was there when you truly needed him this time."
"Yeah," Ezra dejectedly admitted. "You're right. Without Kanan and Hera, you all would've been captured and I would've died on that station. And I did thank him for coming back, but... It's just that… things can't go back to the way they were and I think that's what Kanan wants."
Ezra's frustration was beginning to become more and more evident as he continued to look for the right words. Sabine had hoped to be painting by now, but Ezra's dilemma was more important and there would be other sunsets to paint. "No one is saying that things have to go back to the way they were, Ezra," she explained as she got in his way to stop his pacing. "You had to grow and he wasn't here to mentor you. That's on Kanan and he's going to have to accept it. But you're not done growing yet either. None of us are, and that's where you can choose to keep learning from Kanan or continue learning on your own. Just know that whichever way you decide, I'll support it."
Ezra almost told her that Kanan also removed his way of learning, but held his tongue. He didn't want them to know that he'd been using the Dark side. At least, not without a strong enough case to support his way was the correct one. Besides, Kanan had taken the Holocron and there was no point mentioning something that wasn't even an option. Maybe if he could find out what Kanan had done with it, and retrieve it, then he would open up to Sabine about it. He figured she did deserve to know if he could continue down that path. After all, she'd been nothing but supportive of him ever since they returned from Arkania.
There was some subtle bickering that could be heard coming from the transport as soon as the ramp opened up, allowing Hera the chance to lay eyes on the younger two of her Ghost crew. They'd just returned from their undercover mission, and from the sound of things, it hadn't gone very smoothly. Hera easily made out Sabine's voice among a few others, and it sounded like whatever disagreement they were having was winding down.
It was almost enough to take the surprise away when Hera noticed Ezra being helped out of the transport. Almost. "What happened?" She asked, rushing forward to check on the young Jedi.
Sabine looked over at Hera as she continued to support Ezra. "Concussion," she answered. "We're taking Ezra to the med bay for treatment."
Hera fell in step, the mission forgotten by her for the moment, but not really for other members of command. "So, the mission was a failure?" Commander Sato questioned.
"Yes," Gavyn announced, but Sabine also responded at the same time with a differing opinion.
"The mission was successful," was her answer, and she didn't stop there. "The weapon was identified, and the plans along with all prototypes were destroyed."
"But the weapon designer isn't going to cooperate," Gavyn argued.
While Hera was occupied with Ezra's condition, she still heard what was said and knew that she needed to step in. "Sabine, I'll get Ezra to the medical wing. You should stay with the rest of Command and hash this out to ensure the mission report is accurate."
Sabine hesitated for a moment, not wanting to leave Ezra's side but knew she had a responsibility to relay accurate information to the Rebellion, and it was obvious that Gavyn was going to give his opinion of the situation instead of facts. Which meant she had to stay behind. "Fine," she relented. "But let me know as soon as you hear anything."
"You have my word," Hera said before glancing over at a friend of Ezra's for help. "Wini, help me with Ezra, would you?"
Wini was a bit surprised and hesitated at first. "Um, sure," Wini eventually responded before moving over to Ezra's side and helping to carry him off.
Sabine wasn't sure what came over her but she very nearly growled as soon as Wini went over to Ezra. It took quite a bit of effort to look away, but when she did, she saw that Sato waiting expectantly for her attention. "Miss Wren, if you would, please enlighten me as to the confusion coming from your team," he said as he pointed in the direction of the Command Center.
She followed quietly behind the commander, with Gavyn and the rest of the crew following along with her. Things had already been contentious the entire trip back from Arkania, and Gavyn seemed to be continuing with that trend. It had more to do with his insecurities and the dashed hope he had of any form of a romantic relationship with her, but she wasn't about to let his emotions get in the way of the truth.
Instead, as she ventured over to the command center, she formulated a plan of action. By the time they all arrived, she was more than prepared for whatever Gavyn or anyone else for that matter might try to say. Gavyn hadn't lied about the weapon designer having any interest in joining the Rebellion, but he left out the part about them agreeing to be hidden away from the Empire. The agreement was based on them not selling the weapon design to the Empire in exchange for transport to a planet not under complete Empirical control. The only real hanging point was them refusing to promise that the weapon would not be produced in the future, but that was something the Rebellion was just going to have to accept.
The conversation ended up going how Sabine had anticipated. She was also able to counter all of the sticking points Gavyn tried to provide, and eventually, he let it go. Fortunately, only Ezra and she knew the exact reason how they'd been spotted by the Empire, and she was able to satisfy Sato with the overall success of the mission's objective.
From there, Sabine didn't waste any time heading over to the medical wing. She didn't have to look hard to find Ezra, as there was a group of people around him, still running tests. She then spotted Hera standing off to the side a bit and made her way over to the Ghost Captain. One person she didn't see, however, was Wini.
"They're still confirming how serious the concussion is," Hera said when she sensed the Mandalorian girl coming up to her side.
"It seemed pretty bad at the time," Sabine explained.
"What happened?"
And that was the big money question. Of course, had anyone else have asked it, Sabine wouldn't have given a straight answer, but this was Hera. One of the very few people who Sabine truly trusted AND respected. Hera had been the closest thing to a mother ever since she'd been forced to leave her planet and her real family. Besides, it was hard to lie to the Twi'lek. Hera always seemed to know when any member of the Ghost crew wasn't being honest with her.
"It's kind of a long story," she offered, hoping that Hera wouldn't push for details, but the look she received dashed any hope of that.
"Let's head to the Ghost and talk."
Sabine didn't answer to the suggestion/order she received, but she did follow beside Hera, the two of them walking out of the medical wing and to their portable home. They both remained silent the entire time, right up until the door to the Ghost cockpit slid shut, with Hera locking it immediately after. "Alright," she said, turning her attention squarely on Sabine. "Spill."
Sabine released a sigh, still not looking forward to such a conversation, but she did as she was asked and told Hera what happened. She did her best not to leave anything out, even including some of what Ezra had told her about that first night since she had no recollection of what transpired. Hera didn't interrupt her as she explained everything, just nodded and occasionally gestured for Sabine to continue whenever she became hung up on what to say. She managed not to say a word until when Sabine finished with the argument aboard the transport.
"Well, now it makes sense why Wini seemed like she couldn't wait to leave the medical wing," Hera said, crossing her arms. "The last time Ezra was hurt, she was rarely anywhere except by his side."
"I'll have to try and clear up any confusion she has about that," Sabine said. "It would've made things easier if Gavyn had kept his opinion to himself though."
"I agree, and I'll talk to him about that if you want," Hera offered.
"No," Sabine said. "It's my mess and I'll get it cleaned up, one way or another."
"Fair enough," Hera said. "But if you need any help, you know the door is always open."
"Thanks, Hera," Sabine replied, but as she stood to leave, the Twi'lek indicated that they weren't quite done yet.
Hera stood as well and placed a hand on Sabine's shoulder. "That includes with Ezra too, Sabine," Hera said. "He deserves to know where he stands too."
"Hera, I've.."
"No Sabine," Hera interrupted. "I know what you've said in the past, but if everything happened the way you just described to me, Ezra is a part of that mess you need to clean up. If you only think of him as a teammate or a friend, then you need to have that conversation with him. But if you do have stronger feelings for him than you've let on up until this last mission, then I think you owe it to yourself as much as you owe it to him. Just be honest with him. Whatever that might mean for the two of you."
Sabine wasn't about to confirm one way or the other how she felt, but she did want to settle Hera's mind with an honest answer. "I'll get this all straightened up, Hera. You have my word."
It took Sabine two days to finally locate Wini in a position where they could talk openly. AP-5 happened to be the only one with her when Sabine made her move, and he wouldn't care about anything they had to say unless it was about inventorying. "AP, would you mind giving Wini and me a moment?"
"Actually, I would." The droid dryly responded. "The completed inventory manifest is already well behind schedule as it is, and any further delay would…"
"Just, do it anyway," Sabine interrupted, causing the droid to grumble about how inefficiently the Rebellion was being run, but he did move away from the two of them. Sabine stood, watching Wini looking a little anxious until the droid was far enough away to give them the privacy Sabine needed, and with a deep initial breath, she dove right into the fray "I think we should talk."
"Why?" Wini snorted at her. "It seems pretty obvious to me. I got too close to your Jedi toy, and you stepped up your game to steal his attention back."
"I what!?" Sabine nearly shouted before she tried to calm herself to maintain what little composure she had left. "Look, Wini, I think you got some bad information, and you need to hear the truth about what happened."
"No, I don't," Wini fired right back, taking Sabine by surprise with her angry, aggressive stance. "The only thing that needs to be made clear here is that I'm not backing off. I really like Ezra, and if you think I'm going to just let you keep playing with his emotions like you have for so long, then you're only fooling yourself."
"I haven't been playing with his emotions!" Sabine argued, but that only caused Wini to laugh at her.
"Oh please," Wini replied. "You've had that boy wrapped around your finger for as long as he's known you. You might have told him a few times that you weren't interested, but every time someone else gets close to him, your actions say more than your words ever could. It's always a mission, or during training, and it's so obvious to everyone around the two of you. But I saw what it was doing to him and I think he deserves better."
Sabine wanted to continue arguing her case, but something Wini said struck her and took the fight out of her. "You're right," she eventually said in a somber tone. "Ezra does deserve something more than I've ever given him."
"And I want to give that to him," Wini responded with total conviction. "So, since you don't want to be the person to give him what he deserves, then why don't you do him a favor and just step out of the way?"
"I.." Sabine started to say, but she didn't know how to respond to that. She hated to admit it, but Wini was right again. If she didn't want to be that person with Ezra, then she should step out of the way and let someone else try to make Ezra happy. The only problem was, she'd begun to realize that she wanted to be that person.
Outside the base, Ezra eventually managed to calm down, mostly thanks to Sabine's friendly ear and outsider's perspective. Then she managed to get in some painting while Ezra meditated until the night air became chilly enough for the paint to dry. At that point, they huddled together, using the blanket Ezra had already laid out beforehand. Sabine added a second blanket around the two of them, forcing them to be quite close under the guise of added warmth. Neither one of them brought it up, but both knew that they weren't actually that cold.
As they quietly stared up into the night sky, Sabine was lost in her thoughts over what had been happening. She still couldn't wrap her mind around just how close they'd gotten or how natural it felt to her. There was still one thing though that she wasn't comfortable with yet even though she really shouldn't be surprised. It was her decision after all to give romance between them a chance, and times like the one they were currently in was where she struggled mightily with. They hadn't even held hands yet, let alone done anything else, and it was all because of her.
Meanwhile, Ezra eagerly accepted any conditions Sabine laid out, including that this remains strictly between the two of them. When it came to the Rebellion or in public, he had to promise that he would act like nothing had changed between them. Initially, she did feel a bit guilty buy Ezra wasn't about to push, and simply put, she just wasn't ready for that yet. A part of her struggle was the aftermath of everything that occurred on Arkania, but she knew that was more of an excuse more than anything else.
Sabine knew she couldn't just keep things as they were. It wasn't fair to Ezra and her confrontation with Wini had her thoughts on how she wanted Ezra to have everything he deserved. What he didn't deserve was an emotionally crippled girl, even though that's what he had currently. She considered herself fortunate that he was content with what he was getting from her, but that surely wouldn't last. Eventually, he would want more between them, and when that time came, she wondered and hoped that she'd be ready. And with that thought, she happened a glance over to Ezra, only to see him looking right back at her. "What is it?" She asked.
"I was just wondering what you were thinking about," Ezra answered with a playful smile.
"I was thinking about us, actually," Sabine honestly responded. "About how far we've come and how patient you've been with me."
Ezra smiled at Sabine's words. "Well, you know better than most that I've always wanted to be with you Sabine," he said. "But I have to admit, I was beginning to think that you'd never change your mind about us. I couldn't be happier that you did change your mind though. And I don't have any problems going as slow as you want, so long as you're comfortable with us."
"But I don't think I'm being fair to you, Ezra," she explained. "You deserve so much more than I've given you."
"Hey," Ezra said as he rolled over to face Sabine directly and placed his hand lovingly against her cheek. "Being with you is everything I've ever hoped to have ever since we first met."
Sabine smiled at his kind words and hesitated for a moment, but then decided to take a step forward, even if it was just a small one. She turned her head and pressed her lips against the palm of his hand, gently kissing him. Ezra nearly pulled his hand away in shock at first but he realized that Sabine had kissed his hand intentionally. Her lips were soft against his skin and he savored the feel of it, hoping for more, but afraid to do press.
She kissed his palm three more times before turning again and looking into Ezra's eyes, only to see that Ezra was fixated on her. He almost seemed to be mesmerized, which made her smile. It was the same look that Zeb or even Rex teased him about whenever they caught him staring for too long. Back then, it was annoying, but now it was flattering. She even thought about taking another step because of it, maybe something like sharing their first real kiss, but then her comm pinged at an incoming message. And they both knew that it was time for them to return to camp.
Going along with their usual plan of returning to base, Ezra took the speeder back after dropping Sabine off outside the Ghost. They'd been successful at not getting caught so far, but as soon as Sabine climbed the ladder to take her up to the personal quarters, Kanan was there, waiting for her outside her cabin door.
"If it's alright, I'd like to speak with you about Ezra." He said to her.
"What about him?" She asked, trying to come off as indifferent to the older Jedi.
"There are some things I need you to be aware of if you plan to continue being with him in any romantic capacity," Kanan explained. Sabine instantly started to deny anything was happening, but Kanan quickly raised his hand to stop her. "I sensed the change between you two. Ezra's good at masking his emotions, even from me, but he wasn't ready for the excitement inside when you told him about your feelings changing."
Upon hearing his explanation, Sabine's shoulders drooped in resignation. There was no argument for the Jedi's senses regarding his Padawan, so she gestured for him to lead the way, and followed Kanan back out of the Ghost. Kanan walked in silence over to an area where they could have some privacy and then turned to face the Mandalorian girl.
"I'd be a hypocrite if I told you not to continue being with Ezra," he started. "But you need to know that there's a danger that comes with dating a Force-sensitive being at all. And one like Ezra, who's been slipping down a dangerous path, you need to be extra cautious with."
"What are you talking about, Kanan?" Sabine asked.
"He's been using the Sith Holocron, which is a direct path to the Dark side," Kanan answered. "He's been slowly succumbing to it in exchange for quick results to grow stronger, and that's been destroying the boy you've come to know."
"I don't get it," Sabine said, thoroughly confused. "I mean, I know he's changed but everyone has, Kanan. And yes, he has become stronger with the Force very quickly, but I don't see how that could be a bad thing. I've seen him do some amazing things to help us succeed with mission after mission, and with everything I've seen, Ezra's remained the same good person. He's never done or said anything that would lead me to believe he could ever become something like those Inquisitors we've run into."
"It's about his fear, Sabine," Kanan explained. "You need to understand where a Jedi draws their strength from compared to a Sith. The Sith relies on emotions like anger, fear, or hatred and uses those emotions to tap into the Force. Whereas a Jedi relies on controlling themselves and their emotions, to work with the Force. When you're driven by your emotions, you're more unstable and more easily can lose control. Which means you lose who you are and who you're supposed to be. Ezra is afraid of losing anyone else he cares about, and that's what has driven him into the Dark side. So, the closer you get with Ezra, the more he could let his fear consume him. If that happens, then we could very well lose the Ezra you know completely."
This wasn't at all what Sabine wanted to hear. Not after they'd finally taken that important plunge. If Kanan was going to ask her to leave Ezra, this wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation at all.
"Are you saying that it might be best for Ezra and I to stop seeing each other?" She asked, wanting a direct answer from Kanan.
"I'm not saying that at all," Kanan answered. "All I am saying is that you need to be careful and help ensure that he doesn't give in to his fears and anger."
A/N: Can we say cliffhanger? I apologize in advance to all those who may have thought, "finally", for Ezra and Sabine becoming officially a couple, albeit an interesting couple. Of course, we still have Sabine's intimacy issues that come with being a Mandalorian warrior, but then I just couldn't help myself with throwing in a warning from Kanan because of how close Ezra was to actually succumbing to the Dark side. I really think he was a lot closer in the show than they portrayed, and I think it's one area where they dropped the ball a little bit.
Also, I know that I made mention of Wini here, and no, she is not just going to go away even though Sabine and Ezra are secretly dating. The important part though is that the Holocron is with Bendu, just as it went with the show, so no more direct influence from it (but I can't guarantee Ezra won't suffer from some withdrawal issues along the way).
Up next, Ezra and Sabine continue to traverse through everything that comes with being in a relationship while dealing with the Rebellion and Ezra's slow return from the Dark side's influence.