AN: I'm actually worse at remembering what day it is now I have a job somehow? I'm truly awful, so to apologise for this late chapter I'm going to post chapter 13 with it!

Thanks so much to the really, really lovely comments from mersan123 and PadrePedro, they really make my day! - hope you all like this chapter!

Dear King Arthur

I would be glad to negotiate with you.

I hope that together we can create a lasting peace

between our peoples.

- Magic's Defender

Arthur stood in front of a small audience of people ready to welcome the magic rival; the sun had returned and was beaming down on them, and the king wondered if it was a sign. He smiled with peace, but if you were to glance over the men who had gathered with him you could sense their anxieties far away. Leon was closest to him, the only one who was privy to the rival's true identity, but Arthur still felt something strange radiating from his oldest friend. As the king's hands linked in front of him, his thumb incessantly patting the skin, he had to admit he had his own reservations: the idea of meeting Morgana in this capacity sat oddly in his stomach. However, as he fixed his chin a little higher, he could not help but feel some sense of smug satisfaction. After all, Morgana had always held herself as one not to be challenged, and yet Arthur had been able to finally catch her out. Of course, they were meeting for peace, he grinned, but there was no reason he could not spend some time gloating.

His grin faded slowly into a thoughtful expression as the memory of the discovery brought many others to mind, and having found some semblance of peace with it all he wished his people would respect his decision, but more so that his mother was proud at the lengths he had gone to; as the weeks of preparation had passed learning from Gaius, Arthur realised just how much he had learnt from his time with Merlin, and was hopeful that this peace would be the start of a new era for Camelot. The sun seemed to twinkle in his eye at the thought of his mother, and he beamed with more peace than he had felt in a long time.

As the horse entered the yard, hooded figure atop still concealing their identity from the group, Arthur straightened his posture, unaware he had let it slip; Morgana had proven herself a worthy rival, and he would offer her the respect she deserved - of course, at the back of his mind he felt some glee as he imagined Morgana's own shock when he himself would not be surprised by the reveal. The reveal that was close: the visitor's horse was coming to a stop before them, and Arthur was sure he saw the familiar spark of raven hair beneath the hood. The little confirmation was a comfort, and he subdued his smile as his thumb finally brought an end to its twitching.

The hint of doubt he might have felt was nudged, though, when his rival jumped from the horse; he had never thought it would be something that would make him frown, but he had seen Morgana riding several times. He frowned, head turning a fraction as he watched the rider stand properly, the subdued smile well and truly gone from his expression when he realised the rider was no woman. A fact that became clear to the small audience as the hood was removed with a male hand, revealing the raven hair he had identified to be much shorter than he thought it to be.

Arthur let his mouth hang, staring wide eyed at the man who walked over boldly before bowing to him as king, recognisable in his features but not in stance. "It is my pleasure, King Arthur," he caught the words even as his mind trudged through the backlog of information. Once the rival was left standing for a moment, and the king's diplomatic skill set in, he became too aware of the audience surrounding them, waiting for his move. Arthur put on a façade quickly, smiling pleasantly but feeling the air trapped in his throat. With a swallow he told himself it had found a safe passage, and managed to dig deep to find a light tone to welcome his guest, hoping the warlock saw the rage boiling beneath.

After being forced to keep his composure for an immensely long time, taking his rival into the castle with few members of the court still in attendance, - something Arthur had only ever dreamed of - the king was grateful when they gave the pair a moment and he seized the opportunity to drag Merlin into a private room.

Despite having a million and one things he wanted to say, wanted to ask, he had spent most of the time pacing around the rather spacious room, walking around the table with only a few glances back to Magic's Defender who stood calmly at the door. As Arthur rattled off, "I can't believe it" and several other mumblings, his guest remained disturbingly still. The king finally took pause at that thought, recognising the smile on Merlin's face as one he had been wearing that morning, and was hit all too suddenly with another revelation.

"Why aren't you surprised?" he asked carefully.

Merlin's response was to shrug, which only stoked the fire building in Arthur's chest. "I always knew you were king, Arthur," he said almost patronisingly. "Besides the fact that it was our destiny to meet eventually, your efforts to hide your identity weren't always…" his hand twisted in a strange circular motion as he struggled with words: definitely patronising, Arthur decided.

"You could have said!"

"I wanted to, I just didn't know when - we kept meeting and every time it just got harder and harder to confess." Merlin tried, but Arthur scrunched his nose as he shook his head with a disbelieving grin. "You never said either!"

The king turned on him quickly, the fire exploding as he pinned Merlin with a dark stare, pointing a finger at the warlock with severe warning as he growled lowly, "don't you dare. Don't blame me."

Unfortunately, Merlin summoned the command Arthur always knew deep down he could wield, and argued straight back, "if you had told me, I'd have done the same! I would have told you." When the warlock quietened, he returned so quickly to his stoic stance that Arthur wondered if he had imagined the rebuttal. The king was lost for words, put off by Merlin's posture as his own had long disappeared, and he simply scoffed at the statement as he resumed his pacing of the room. This time he muttered nothing, but imagined mournfully how the day was supposed to have gone.

When the images brought nothing but irritation to mind, he turned on Merlin with a new emotion, anger replaced by desperation that he could barely hide from his tone, "I thought…" he sighed, closing his eyes softly for a moment to try and regain something, although he had lost so much he was not sure what he wanted more. "I thought Morgana was Magic's Defender." The admittance is more to himself, but he saw something twitch in Merlin's otherwise stolid expression that he was finally able to hone in on, and he jumped closer, "is she part of this?" he asked, eyes perhaps more than a little crazy.

Merlin sighed, "yes." With the breath, Arthur rolled his head back, throwing his arms out. His rival continued, "she's part of the New Order. It's a small group, I lead them only because of destiny, and because I know safe places for those with magic. That's all we do," he tried, sounding more like the caring warlock Arthur had gotten to know, "we just help people."

Arthur lowered his head to ask, "and how did you find her?"

"She actually found me," he explained, his face still set carefully neutral. "Morgana realised she had magic while your father was still alive, and she came to my camp to find some guidance. I never asked for her help, but once she found out about our cause, she insisted she join."

"Your cause," Arthur almost spat, his anger towards Merlin once again getting the better of him. "Morgana was making alliances; if it's peace you want, why was she making alliances?" he demanded.

The king took some pleasure from Merlin's hesitation, but it was soon swallowed with disappointment when it appeared the warlock had an answer for that, too. "I admit Morgana played a large part in this, but it is for her to give you her reasons. As for the alliances, well," Merlin held his hands out, "we didn't know for sure what you would do, we had to take precautions. That's all they were."

"A precaution?" Arthur stepped back; eyes narrowed.

Merlin nodded, "if you know of them, you'll know they are only with peaceful rulers who know our terms: should we succeed in bringing peace today for those with magic in Camelot, they will stand down. This is why Morgana was our… ambassador, so to speak," he shrugged, "she's intelligent, and she understands the nobility much greater than I do. Your "sister" is a perfect and powerful diplomat."

"I know what she is!" Arthur yelled, slamming his fist down on the table. "I don't need you to tell me so." He growled again, and took some pleasure as Merlin swallowed, flinching at the sudden outburst of the king. Arthur would have taken more joy out of it, but that morning he had still been in love with the man. The clumsy idiot whose grin could brighten anyone's day, who might one day in the future be allowed into Camelot, now standing inside the castle boldly in blue robes much fancier than anything Arthur had seen him in. The king closed his eyes as his breath tried to slow down, the only thing heard in the room where the light lit up dust flowing around them while the tension choked its occupants.

When his breath was relatively calm, the rage boiling his heart simmering down to a low murmur, he opened his eyes carefully and felt his stomach flip as Merlin was still standing diplomatically, with a power that Arthur had hidden away in the back of his mind. The king rubbed a hand over his paling, weary face, wondering when everything had all become so complicated, wishing the gods might stop toying with him for one day so that he might be ready for the next.

He waved a hand towards Merlin and asked, "how?" Merlin frowned. "How are you…" waving his hand again, his head shrunk into his shoulders, "this?" he grimaced at his own inability to articulate his thoughts, especially when Merlin was proving to not be so incompetent, but did not correct himself as he waited.

Merlin blinked, but somehow stood straighter, "my father was Balinor, your father's advisor."

Arthur gulped down the still fresh guilt as eyes went wide, "but, Balinor was a Dragon Lord." Merlin nodded gently, still patronisingly? Arthur wondered. "Does that make you-"

-"yes. The last," Merlin finished for him, and the king's eyebrows rose to his hairline.

The king's body was weakening, his legs aching as if they could no longer hold him, and his body wavered; Merlin finally took his first step towards him since they had both been alone, but despite the haze clouding his mind, Arthur caught sight of the warlock's hand reaching out to him. He wanted more than anything to accept the touch, the eyes watching him with concern the same that he had fallen for, but he recoiled, knowing they had been stolen by a stranger.

Arthur grabbed out for a chair instead, his eyes neither warm nor soft as he narrowed them towards Merlin with a warning. The warlock's hand froze in the air, before he slowly recalled it, appearing for the first time since that morning like he did not belong, that he was not holding the upper hand. The king lowered himself into the chair resignedly, taking all the weight with him as he breathed carefully, while Merlin regained his noble stance, but remained closer to Arthur with caution in his eyes.

Arthur stared ahead, his eyes dropping sadly as he rested his arms on the table, hands clasping desperately just to have something to hold on to. He sighed, "everything I knew," he shook his head, "nothing is true, none of it. Everything my father told me, everything Morgana told me." He turned back to Merlin with the same sadness twinkling in his eyes that drowned his heart, "everything you told me."

Merlin was quick by his side, one hand on the chair beside him, the other held out to him as Magic's Defender hunched so Arthur was forced to stare into blue eyes he used to picture in his mind. "Arthur, you have to know," his words were no longer coated with superiority as he spoke desperately, "what we did, what we said to each other, I never once lied about that." Arthur stared back at him, sad eyes meeting desperate ones, and he wished he did not feel the hope igniting inside of him. "You have to understand, I had to keep my identity from you - or you might never have spoken to me again!"

Arthur laughed bitterly as his eyebrows brewed a storm, "and I had to, didn't I?" he spat as Merlin blinked, innocently confused, "because you needed me. I was just a pawn for you, so you could convince me to trust magic!"

Merlin's eyes widened as he pulled back, shaking his hands quickly as he repeated "no!" Arthur saw only fury, though, and shook his head, turning away from the liar. He heard the warlock asking him to face him again, but on refusal Merlin tried to explain anyway. "I admit, Arthur, that at first, peace was my only aim, of course it was! My people are fleeing for their lives just when they think they have settled somewhere safe, and none of it's their fault! Someone has guided hate against them, and they have nowhere to go."

The king turned swiftly then, his side cramping but his soul ablaze as he readied a defence, tightening his fist. Merlin stopped him immediately, though, continuing before Arthur had the chance, "but I know you were lied to, and I know you thought it was for the greater good; neither of us knew the whole truth, either." The warlock was trying hard to calm the king with the gentle expression and soft tone that Arthur knew, edging closer once more. "Arthur," he looked at him with a sweet, slanted sort of helpless smile as he grabbed his hand, "we grew with each other and I came to understand you. Before - before you were just King Arthur, someone I created in my mind. Then I saw that the real you was kind, and you…" he struggled, but Arthur did not seize the moment to interrupt, unable to take his eyes away as he was caught by the passion Merlin spoke with. "You were willing to learn, you questioned what you were told, and you found the truth on your own. I never thought of you as King Arthur, just Arthur, and everything I felt for you was true." He stared at Arthur deeply, "I love you," he whispered.

Time dragged so slowly around the king that it almost felt like it was not passing at all, his brain so overloaded that it felt stuck in mud as it tried to process secret after secret, lie after lie, to distinguish any truth in it all. His empty eyes focused on his hand cradled in Merlin's, and without thought he removed it without much effort; he heard Merlin's hurt before he saw it, but he was too lost to feel anything for it.

Merlin tried once more, "I don't know how I can prove it, but-"

-"someone I grew with," Arthur whispered, cutting off the hopeless pleas from the side, and Merlin remained quiet. "My mother told me someone I grew with could destroy my kingdom, if I didn't act justly and with an open mind." He leaned back in his chair as everything fell into place, hands resting unclenched on the table as his neck stretched, and he stared at the distance ahead. "That's why I believed it was Morgana; as my father's ward we grew together, and she has always been outspoken on her views of those with magic." The sound of robes shifting was the only noise to come from beside him as he voiced his final realisation, taking advantage of the moment of peace. "It was you she meant," he spoke with faint acceptance, "it was never Morgana."

Finally, the storm ended, calm returning in a wave over him, a strange sort of tranquillity encompassing his entire being even as he knew the tension was only growing for Merlin, who still had yet to say a word. He briefly wondered if Merlin had become too anxious to speak, but only cared that there was quiet as he made silent decisions. He took a few soothing breaths, surprised by the way they did not get caught in his throat as he believed he would have to get used to. Then he dared a glance at Merlin, a man he thought he knew, but a man he might never know. He found concern in the sea of the irises staring back, and his mind settled on something.

Taking a deep breath, he decreed, "people have been lying to me my whole life, and I'm only just beginning to see it." Merlin opened his mouth to interject, presumably to defend himself, but Arthur held up a hand, "but, I rule with my heart, as always. I've been betrayed by a dead man, whose greed and hatred has not only caused the deaths of my mother and many other innocents, but my blindness to their cause." He faced Merlin directly, eyes locking but lacking their usual warmth, "you will have your peace, Merlin," he bowed his head gently, "it will take time, but attitudes have already been changing; I hope to be able to bring the nobility and the people around soon. We will bring in a new era of peace and prosperity," he smiled weakly, but he still felt a little empty.

Merlin offered the same sort of smile, before asking tentatively, "and what about us?"

Arthur sighed, both prepared and unprepared at the same time, only able to offer little, "I hid my own position from you, not knowing you saw through it." He raised his eyebrows briefly, "therefore it would be hypocritical of me to judge too harshly." Merlin did not appear reassured, and Arthur swallowed as he leaned towards the man, feeling almost cruel as he spoke, "but I need time to think; I've learned too much in too little time, and I need to figure out the right path for myself. Alone." The king stared at Merlin with more sadness than anger, only imploring the warlock not to hate him, either.

It was a few moments before Merlin reacted, long, drawn out ones where one of them might have been tempted to reach out for the other, but he drew back with a reserved nod. "I understand completely. I'm grateful for the promise of peace and look forward to what it should bring." His smile was earnest, but it fell quickly, "I hope at least, if you can't find it in yourself to continue what we genuinely had, that you can forgive me." Arthur offered a respectful nod of his own, filled with a genuine promise that he would think of nothing else.

Their private meeting drew to a close in silence, and Merlin made his way to the door first, his feet silently shuffling away as Arthur watched, aching to call him back. Maybe the warlock had heard his silent pleas because he turned back, and Arthur sat up, but he looked solemn as he said only, "I'm still the same man, Arthur. My destiny and my position don't change that; they don't change who you fell in love with, as yours hasn't changed you."