Age of Smoke Part 1: The Autobot Code

Chapter 12: Penance

Optimus stopped in the doorway of his office. It had taken a good half a joor to get Ironhide, Elita, and Jazz to stop arguing with each other and blaming each other for what had happened. If Elita and Ironhide had done a better job at arresting Sideways, or if Jazz had helped, or if he'd found the mech through more conventional means in the first place or if Ironhide had trained his soldiers better…

Elita felt awful still. Optimus could sense it through the bond. She hadn't wanted this mech offline. Apparently he'd been a hard worker, always polite, a little jumpy, but not evil in any way. There was a serious possibility that he'd joined the Decepticons out of a sincere desire to help overthrow the corrupt government, and not because he agreed with all of Megatron's actions. There was even a slight possibility that he hadn't been a Decepticon after all.

He shouldn't have died, but the arguing wasn't helping matters. Optimus had hoped that giving everyone an orn to cool down would improve their ability to get along, but that meeting had gone at least as poorly as the previous one.

Also, Optimus realized that he still had to go talk to Keepsake and Cam and explain to them what had happened. He really ought to make Jazz come along too. He commed the mech.

"Yes, Prime sir?"

"Jazz do you have some time now? We must apologize to Blaster's guardians."

"Okay," Jazz said "I'm kinda busy at the moment. Do ya have some time next orn?"

For a moment, Optimus was tempted to put it off... "No, that is all right. I will speak to them now, and leave you to apologize to them on your own time."

"I… pit, okay. I can come now. I'll meet ya there."

"Thank you, Jazz," Optimus said.

He asked Red Alert for directions and then headed for Blasters guardians' quarters. Jazz caught up to him when he was nearly there, looking as cheerful as ever.

"So," he said lightly. "Ya wanna explain it ta them, or ya want me to?"

"I will explain it," Optimus said. "They may have questions for you, though."

Jazz nodded.

They rounded the last corner, and the door opened before Optimus could request entry.

"Come in," Blaster's femme caretaker said, and beckoned them forward.

"Thank you," Optimus said, entering the room with Jazz close behind him. The quarters were small, and Optimus felt uncomfortably like he was taking up the whole space.

Cam sat at the table and Blaster stood to the side of the room, swaying nervously.

"Sit down," Cam said, and Optimus walked over and took a seat. Jazz followed him.

"There is something I must inform you of," Optimus said. "And I would like to offer my most sincere apologies."

"Yes?" Cam said, watching Optimus intensely. Something in his optics made the Prime think he already knew.

"My promise has been broken. We enlisted the assistance of…"

"Hang on," Jazz said. "Don't ya start telling lies, O.P. I asked Blaster ta help with something behind your back."

"With what?" Cam said.

Jazz seemed to consider that. Then he sighed. "We were looking for a Decepticon spy."

Blaster sucked in a sharp vent, almost a gasp.

Jazz seemed to notice, but didn't say anything about it. "I also… I also have been training him a little. Optimus didn't know anything about it—it was all my doing."

Cam frowned at him, then shook his helm. "Blaster told us," he said.

Optimus made optic contact with the mech.

"After the last time he was caught outside our quarters, your security chief, Red Alert, contacted us and told us to let him know if it happened again, so we did. Blaster figured we were going to find out anyway, and confessed."

Optimus bowed his helm.

"Thanks for being honest," Cam said. "It's not like I didn't expect this. I am impressed though, that it was one of your mecha, not you."

"I should have…"

"I should have been better," Jazz said.

"You should have been harder to talk around," Cam said. "He's a pretty persuasive little mechling, but aren't you—what? Head of special operations?"

"Like I said," Jazz continued. "I should have been better. And it won't happen again."

"Won't it?" Cam said. "You're telling me that if a situation comes up like this again, you're not going to be tempted to ask for his help?"

"Well…" Jazz said. "I don't…"

"Don't make promises you aren't going to keep. Look…" Cam took in a deep vent and let it out. "I still don't agree with everything you do. I still don't think supporting the Councils and fighting the Decepticons is going to accomplish anything other than getting a lot of mecha killed, but I was wrong about you. You, Prime, and the Autobots in general. I was wrong about the Decepticons as well. Their brutality in Helex and their looting and ransacking of the outer sectors of Simfur prove that the mecha in charge… don't drive on the roads they claim to. And I understand that this youngling of mine is a valuable resource—one that you can't afford to waste. And he does want to help."

Optimus was silent. It almost sounded like Cam was about to give his permission.

"If you and your mecha are going to use him for your own purposes anyway, the least you can do is let me know."

"I can be an Autobot?" Blaster asked.

Cam took in a deep vent and shuttered his optics, and Blaster shrank a little, looking troubled.

Keepsake, who'd only observed so far, came over and put a hand on her sparkmate's shoulder. "You have to understand," she said quietly. Unlike Cam, she looked somewhat intimidated. "We want to let Blaster make his own decisions about this, but it's hard. We've already lost one creation. We're afraid to put him in danger. If you promise to keep him safe—if you promise you won't let him do anything that could get him hurt…"

The tremble in her voice hurt his spark. They were prisoners here, not because Optimus wouldn't let them leave, but because it wasn't safe for them anywhere else. And this femme was begging, not demanding, because she understood.

"We took a lot of prisoners in the last battle," Jazz said. "Some of them wanna defect, or at least they say they do. If we could set something up where we interviewed them with Blaster sitting in the next room over, listening, it'd help us determine who's sincere."

Cam looked up. "Was that what you planned on having him do next?"

"No," Jazz said. "But if ya're willing…"

"I could do that," Blaster said, but he sounded a little subdued compared to the times Optimus had talked to him before.

"That will not be necessary," Optimus said. He really didn't like the way the conversation was going. It felt wrong.

"But Prime," Jazz said.

"No," Optimus replied. "As I said to Ironhide before, it is not ethical to invade the processors of other mecha to prove their loyalty. Nor is it right to ask a youngling to do so. Keepsake and Cam, I hope you will accept our most sincere apologies about what happened. And thank you for your willingness to allow Blaster to assist us. Should the war persist that long, then we will offer him an opportunity to join us when he reaches adulthood."

Cam looked up.

"Again, thank you," Optimus stood. "I must see to other things, but let me know if you need anything." He left the room and Jazz followed him.

"Prime."

"Yes?"

"Ya can't just… they gave their permission!"

"No they did not," Optimus said. "They merely accepted the fact that their permission has no meaning. They are not here of their own free will, so it is up to us to make the right choice on the matter."

"I don't think ya understand just how much that mechling wants to help—just how much he could help. It would make everything easier…"

Optimus stopped and turned to look at his head of special operations. "Perhaps we should continue this conversation in my office."

Jazz sighed, but followed him back through the base to his office.

Optimus shut the door behind them, but didn't sit down. This would need to be brief, because talking to Blaster's caretakers had already put him behind schedule. "Are you planning to go behind my back again?"

It was hard to read the smaller mech because of his visor, but his silence wasn't very comforting.

"Not only do I feel using Blaster's abilities is wrong, you undermine the entire army by disobeying me. If we are divided, we will be defeated."

Jazz took in a deep vent and let it out. "I'm sorry," he said. "But this ain't a charity, this is an army. If we don't use our resources right, it'll also end with us being defeated. If ya want us ta listen to ya, ya have ta listen ta us. There has ta be a measure of compromise. There have ta be some exceptions ta your moral code, mech. Ya don't have ta do things ya don't feel are right, but ya can't make those choices for the rest of us. Didn't ya get the wisdom of all the Primes before ya? Didn't any of them have ta lead an army? Or is that all just slag?"

Optimus looked down.

Jazz waited.

"Some did lead armies," Optimus said. "I have their memories. I know how it is typically done." It was better to be honest. He did not know Jazz as well as he knew some of the other officers, but if he wanted this mech to trust him, he needed to be open. "The Matrix is not as I expected it to be. It is not as any of us expected. It did grant me much knowledge, but it is all knowledge of the past. I don't know how to win this war, nor do I necessarily agree with the actions and methods of the Primes before me."

He paused, but Jazz didn't say anything so he continued.

"There is strength and knowledge and peace that it gives me—and a measure of control that I lacked before. But though my memories have been replaced, I am not so different than I was—not as different as most of you seem to believe."

Jazz looked up. Optimus let the silence stretch out, waiting.

"Ya know," Jazz said. "Sometimes I forget we're still a bunch of mechlings pretending we know what we're doing… while we get other mecha offlined." He sighed. "I'm sorry, Prime, that sounds rough."

Optimus blinked. Had he come off sounding sorry for himself? That hadn't been his intent—he'd just wanted to explain.

"Ya don't have ta make all the decisions on your own, though," Jazz said. "I mean, don't ask me. I wouldn't know right from wrong if Primus himself tried ta teach me. But I do think Ironhide and Prowl can be trusted."

Optimus nodded.

"Prowl at the very least, though he's got plenty of work ta do and doesn't need more… I mean, we're between battles right now, so it's probably a little less crazy in the tactical department. Maybe ya should talk ta him, see what he thinks. He'll know what's best for the cause if anymech does."

"Thank you," Optimus said. Maybe he should talk to the Praxian. "And… I will consider conditions under which we can allow Blaster to help us. We will want to set up some ground rules and parameters to make sure he remains safe and unharmed, both physically and emotionally."

Jazz nodded.

"Perhaps you could consider that and make a proposal in next decaorn's overview meeting."

Jazz nodded again. "Will do… though I might have ta have Mainspring do it for me, cuz I might be gone on a mission."

Optimus nodded.

Jazz took in a deep vent and let it out slowly. "Anything else ya need, mech?"

"One more thing," Optimus said, suddenly remembering. "I believe we will be sending some soldiers to Torus Heights to assist them in building up their defenses against the Decepticons. But I don't trust them. Could you send someone to find out what the conditions are in the city?"

"Yeah," Jazz said. "I can do that."

"Thank you, that is all."

Jazz dipped his helm in acknowledgement and made to leave, but paused in the doorway. "Hey, ya want I should talk ta 'Hide for ya?"

Optimus was surprised again. "No," he said at length. "I should speak with him myself."

Jazz nodded once, and left.

Optimus sat down at his desk. He had a lot of things to do this orn, and time was running short.

"Soundwave."

I didn't look up as Shockwave approached me. He knew I was listening.

"You are joining Megatron in the beginning stages of the Nuon City campaign, correct?"

I nodded once.

"If you would permit me, I have a suggestion."

I already knew what his suggestion was, and I wasn't too keen on it.

"If your symbionts were formatted for battle, you would be able to bring them with you."

"I am not bringing them into battle."

"According to Lord Megatron's directions, all able-bodied mecha are to participate in the Decepticon cause in whatever way is most beneficial. What other function do they serve that is more essential?"

"They are not mecha," I replied. They were an exception. I was essential, and because of that I was afforded certain privileges such as keeping my symbionts and keeping them out of harm's way. He could take it up with Megatron if he had a problem with it.

"I have been considering upgrades that would allow them to attach themselves to you. It would allow you to bring them with you at less risk to them. I could even make it so they could transform with you…"

"That will be unnecessary," I monotoned.

Shockwave studied me with his one, unblinking optic. He does not seem to understand the value of my offer. This is problematic. Perhaps I could speak with Megatron about it.

I doubted very much that that would help him get what he wanted, but I didn't care to try and dissuade him. I would take some precautions, though, to make sure he didn't try anything while I was gone.

"Very well," Shockwave said. "If you ever reconsider, I would be willing to assist you."

I nodded and he left. We had a few joors before we were going to attack Nuon City, but I had plenty to do in the meantime. Feedback had reported that our operative in Iacon had sent a distress message and had subsequently stopped responding, which I could only take to mean he was in Autobot custody. Hopefully, he wouldn't be able to tell them much.

I finished up what I was doing, and headed toward my quarters. The door opened for me, and I had to catch Ratbat as he almost flew into me.

"Sorry!" he said. "Laserbeak was trying to teach me how to fly better."

I carried him into the room and set him on the desk.

"I'm getting better, Soundwave," he said. "Pretty soon I'll be the best at flying, just like I'm the best at reading."

"No you aren't," Ravage snapped.

"Ratbat, it's not good to boast about being better than other mecha."

Ratbat tilted his helm to the side as he accessed his language package and checked the meaning of the word. "Boast," he said. "But… but what if it's true?"

"It's still not good," I said.

He looked down. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay."

"He thinks he's better than us," Ravage said from my berth.

Why does Ravage hate me so much? He won't tell me when I ask him. He just glares at me like he wants to eat me.

I pulled out several cubes of energon and set them in a desk drawer. "I'm go-oing to be gone for a few orns," I said. "Ravage, you're in charge of making sure everyone gets enough energon while I'm away."

Ravage nodded.

"And be nice to Ratbat. It's no-ot his fault."

"Where are you going?" Frenzy asked.

"On a trip."

"Can we come? Please? You're always gone, all the time, even more than when you were in school."

"No," I said.

"Why?" Frenzy demanded.

He's going to fight, isn't he? And he's just going to leave us here. Laserbeak flew down from the ceiling to crash into me. You shouldn't lie to us.

I let her latch onto my helm as I tried to think of an answer to Frenzy's question.

"You aren't going to be in another battle, are you?" Ravage asked.

Ratbat gasped.

I could lie to them.

"You are!" Ravage glared. "Well, I'm going with you."

"No."

"But…" Frenzy said.

"I want to scrap some Autobots," Rumble said. "Take me too."

"No."

"What if you get hurt?" Ratbat asked.

"I won't."

You can't say that for sure, Laserbeak thought. Let us come. We can help keep you safe.

"No, Laserbeak," I said.

"I'm coming," Ravage growled.

"I need you here."

"No," Ravage said. "Soundwave, you're our mech. You have to let us protect you."

"This isn't…" I sighed and tried to pry Laserbeak off of my helm. "Let go."

No, Laserbeak thought. Not unless you'll take us with you.

I sat down at my desk, trying to think. Ratbat stared at me with his wide, innocent optics, thinking more deeply about the situation than the others. He, like them, did not truly comprehend war, but at least he understood enough to be afraid of it, because he could tell I was afraid of it.

"I-If one of you go-ot hurt, I would not be a-a-able to forgive my-yself," I said at length. "This isn't y-your battle."

"Then why do you need to go?" Frenzy asked.

"Couldn't you stay here?" Ratbat put in.

"If it's your battle, then it's my battle," Ravage said, pinning me with his intelligent optics.

"I need all of you to stay here."

I needed them to stay safe. I needed them to be here when I got back. "I-I will be fine, but If I lo-ose one of you… Y-you'll help me more if you stay here." I raised my arm and Laserbeak reluctantly let go of my helm to cling to it instead.

"Just take me then," Ravage said. "I can handle myself."

"Are you saying I can't?" Rumble growled.

"I need you to be in charge here."

"Laserbeak can be in charge," Ravage said.

"She-e can't communicate well e-enough. I need you here." It might be a couple of orns before I got back, and the twins listened to Ravage better than they listened to the flying symbiont.

You could take me, though.

"No, Laserbeak," I said again.

Fine! Go out there and die for all I care. She dug her claws painfully into me before taking off and flying up toward the ceiling.

"Please," I said. "Ple-ease, Ravage."

"Fine," Ravage growled. "But only if you promise to take me next time." And I will hold you to that promise.

I hesitated.

"And don't lie to me."

"No," I got up from my desk. "And I do-on't have any more time to argue." I left the room and shut the door and locked it. I made sure the lock was fully-functioning in case Shockwave tried to get in. I was fairly certain he wouldn't, but I couldn't shake the image of him breaking into my room and taking my symbionts.

Then I went to talk to Megatron before the army left for Nuon City.

Ironhide stopped outside of Optimus's office. He was almost relieved that the Prime had asked to meet with him, because it meant Ironhide didn't have to initiate this conversation. On the other hand, he was still angry about the way Optimus had reacted the past few times Ironhide had tried to talk to him. And if he thought he could guilt trip Ironhide into submission, he was wrong.

He took a deep vent and hit the entry request button. The door slid silently open, and Optimus beckoned him in.

Ironhide entered the office, but didn't feel like sitting.

"Thank you for coming," Optimus said.

"What can I help you with, Prime?" Ironhide asked.

"A situation has arisen that I would appreciate your advice and assistance with."

"Oh, really?" Ironhide said. "Are you sure about that?"

Optimus didn't even look hurt. "Of course," he said calmly.

His cool gaze made Ironhide uncomfortable. "Well, what is it?"

"We have been communicating with Torus Heights over the past orn," Optimus said. "They have requested the aid of our forces."

Ironhide frowned. "Yeah, you mentioned that in the meeting."

"They claim they want our protection from the Decepticons," Optimus said. "But upon further discussion, we have discovered that they have been having difficulties with uprisings and factions within the city."

"So…" Ironhide said. "They actually just want us to solidify their power."

"We fear that to be the case," Optimus said.

"And you want my advice?" Ironhide said. So Optimus hadn't called him in to talk things out. That was disappointing.

"It would be appreciated," the Prime said.

"Well, we're not here to protect the Council system," Ironhide said. "I'd say tell them if the 'Cons attack them, we'll show up, but that we aren't going to protect them from their own mecha."

Optimus looked down thoughtfully.

"Don't tell me you're considering helping them."

"I do not wish to ignore a plea for help," Optimus said. "Nor do I feel that turning a blind optic to the trouble in Torus Heights is an appropriate course of action."

"Why did you even ask for my advice if you'd already made up your processor?" Ironhide demanded. "You're wasting both of our time."

"You assume your input means nothing to me?"

"Well, you haven't given me any evidence to the contrary."

"Ironhide," Optimus said, still infuriatingly calm. "I assure you we will not be sending Autobot soldiers to serve the Torus Heights Council."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"I would like to send a contingent of soldiers, and a representative who would be able to meet with their Council and work out some sort of agreement."

Ironhide frowned, still not quite certain where this was going.

"I would like you to be prepared to depart by this off-cycle at thirty-five joors."

He stared. "I… wait, you want me to go?"

"Yes," Optimus said.

"You want me to go play politics with the Torus Heights Council?"

Optimus just looked at him.

"Are you out of your processor? I can't do that! Besides, we're expecting a Decepticon attack any orn and Ultra Magnus is still recovering."

"If the Decepticons attack while you are on this assignment we will make do. You and Ultra Magnus are not the only two of us qualified as field commanders."

"No," Ironhide said. "You know, you have to know that I can't play the games the Councils play. There's no way I'll be able to work out an agreement with them. I won't go!"

"You will go," Optimus said. "I will make it an official order if I must."

"You just want me out of the way because I've been speaking out against you."

"Is that truly what you believe?"

"Is it true?" Ironhide demanded. "Look me in the optic and tell me that's not what you're doing."

Optimus sighed. "Please be calm."

"So it is true."

Optimus looked up and Ironhide was surprised to see something deep and foreign and ancient looking out of his former friend's faceplate.

"Even if some of my policies weaken us, dissention among us will not reverse that—in fact it will do the opposite. I have many reasons for sending you to Torus Heights and yes, one of them is to put some distance between you and your recent choices, in the hopes that you will be able to see them more clearly."

The intensity of the Prime's gaze lessened and Ironhide looked away.

"But I also want to show you that I trust you." His voice was softer now. "I am giving you full command of the mecha I will send with you, and while you are there, you may do as you feel is best and act in my place."

"And what if I 'act' in a way that you don't like?"

"That depends on what you do," Optimus said. "But I trust you to be wise and to do what you believe is best."

Ironhide sighed. Optimus was exiling him. This was exile and a test and if he failed, he would most likely be removed from his place. "Understood, Prime sir."

He turned to leave the room, knowing he ought to stay until he was dismissed, but not caring.