Secrets
Dove forced herself to eat as she avoided eye contact with most of the people around her. All she wanted to do was talk to Glenn, but he had sat himself at the kids table. Instead, she found herself sitting in between Rick and Carol. Her stomach turned at the mention of the dead man who had helped save Carl's life. As Carol rose from her seat, Dove cleared her throat and patted her mouth with her napkin before she rose to her feet. "I think I'm gonna turn in for the night. Thank you for allowing us into your home, Hershel," she kept her eyes down as she nodded towards the head of the table.
She didn't wait before she hurried out of the house and onto the porch. It was peaceful outside as she waited for Carol to come out and join her. Her mind was still racing from earlier. It made her nervous and, honestly, a little scared when she felt that amount of anger running through her. The cool night air hit her face and she focused on her breathing as the door opened behind her. She turned quickly to see T-Dog walk out of the front door with a hand raised. "Easy, crouching tiger," he shut the door behind him as Dove snorted.
"You wanna try that again," she raised an eyebrow at him as she reached into her pocket for a cigarette.
"Let's have a seat. You look like you need to talk," he tilted his head down towards the other end of the porch.
Dove rolled her eyes as she flicked her lighter. "I don't…"
"You need to talk," T-Dog cut her off before she could finish.
An exasperated sigh left her lips as she lit her cigarette and pushed off from the railing to follow the older man down to the rocking chair that Glenn had been sitting in previously. T-Dog motioned for her to take the chair but with a shake of her head, she boosted herself up onto the railing and took a seat. She took a drag and blew the smoke into the air as T-Dog spoke. "I think what you did today freaked some people out."
"Listen, if you're gonna really lecture me, even Rick didn't try that," Dove tapped some of the ash from her cigarette over the banister into the grass.
"This isn't a lecture," T-Dog shook his head and rubbed forehead before he continued. "But you freaking out on Andrea like that? What the hell was that about?"
"First of all, I think we've all wanted to punch Andrea in the face, okay." Dove raised a hand in defense as she pulled her jacket tighter around herself. "I'm just the first female to get tired enough of her shit to do something about it," she scoffed before she took another drag.
"We've also all wanted to shoot Dixon. In case I'm forgetting, you threatened him before too. I just wanna know what your deal is," T-Dog stated simply and it made Dove pause. It definitely wasn't anything like the lecture she'd been expecting and that threw her off. She stared at a spot on the siding above her friends head as she thought about what her friend had said. It wasn't like she still didn't feel the urge to slap the redneck silly when he decided to talk shit, but since Sophia went missing, it felt like life had went into a tailspin.
She waited quietly as a few others from their group filed out of the house before she answered. "I don't know, okay? I think…I think I just thought about how he found a sign of Sophia and how if she'd killed him," she took another deep drag of her cigarette and waited a few seconds before she exhaled. "We'd never find her because we'd never know where to go." Her voice cracked as she looked down at her feet.
"Hey," a voice broke the tension between the two friends as T-Dog turned quickly in his chair and Dove jumped slightly as she let out a small yelp. "Uh sorry, I thought you heard me come over," Julian chuckled awkwardly as he rung his hands together. "I just um…I hope I'm not interrupting anything?" He looked between the two strangers.
"Nope, we're good," T-Dog smiled softly at Dove before she turned her attention back to the curly haired man.
"What do you need?" She asked quietly and received a startled look in response. "You came out here so you must need something," she waved a hand at the younger man as she flashed him a small smile.
Julian cleared his throat, "Everyone's starting to clean up and um…I guess Patricia's a little nervous about going in to get your friends plate that your sister brought him and I couldn't find anyone else, so…"
T-Dog looked away from the young man back to his friend. "She'll do it. Seems like they've got some shit to talk about anyway."
He placed a hand on her knee as Dove narrowed her eyes at him. "Great! Follow me, I'll show you where he's at." Dove pursed her lips as she lowered her feet back to the porch.
Before she followed Julian she leaned in and whispered in T's ear. "I'm so going to get you back for this," she smiled as she patted his shoulder before she walked back through the front door of the house after Julian.
She spotted Hershel as she entered and it was clear that, in spite of all of his hospitality, the hospitality didn't exactly extend to the interior of his home. Dove raised a hand in greeting as Julian jumped to her defense. "She's just gonna get the plates from Daryl's room. She's spending the night outside, aren't you?" He turned to her.
Dove nodded her head quickly, "Absolutely, sir. I'm very grateful for you allowing us onto your land, I wouldn't want to be the one that makes us overstay our welcome."
Hershel's blue eyes narrowed slightly as he appeared to be deep in thought. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, he nodded. "Alright. Don't take too long, though. We all need to be getting enough rest."
Julian nodded that he understood and touched Dove's elbow before he pointed down a dimly lit hallway. "Right down there, miss. Third door on the left." He smiled lightly before he quietly added. "Good luck.
It was dark in the room as Dove slowly pushed the door open. A few bites were taken out of the food, but it was untouched for the most part. She let out a deep sigh as she glanced from the tray of food to the man in the bed. His back was turned to her and the sheet was pulled up almost to his shoulders. She felt her breath catch in her throat as her eyes adjusted to the dark and she caught a glimpse of a scar on his back. The brunette placed a hand on the side table and she cringed as the fork clattered off of the plate and onto the tray.
"Hell you want," a voice spoke almost instantly and Dove closed her eyes in frustration. She really didn't want to have to talk to anyone else tonight. The young woman cursed herself for not just telling T-Dog to get off his ass and come in to get the damn tray himself. "Whatchu want?"
Dove's eyes opened again as Daryl turned slowly onto his back . Dove swallowed hard before she answered. "I um…Julian sent me in to get the tray that Carol brought you." She explained as she twiddled her thumbs for a moment. "Was something wrong with the food? You didn't eat much," she stated as she shifted her gaze back to the tray of food.
Daryl gritted his teeth as he tried to avoid pulling his stitches, "Nothin wrong with it. Just not real hungry."
"Hershel gave you some of Merle's pain meds, huh." Dove shifted her gaze back to the man.
He nodded in the affirmative. "Heard you punched Andrea," his voice was thick with sleep as he locked eyes with her for a moment. "Glenn told me."
"Of course he did. Jesus, that guy gossips more than a woman does," Dove rolled her eyes and drummed her fingers on the end table. "Yeah I did, she deserved it."
Daryl grunted as he sat up slightly. "Shouldn't have done that. She thought I was a walker, Rick told me. She was just tryin to protect the group."
Dove sighed. "In case you haven't noticed, it's been pretty stressful lately so I wasn't really thinking logically. Guess I've always just been very defensive of people that are kind of close to me." Her hazel eyes drifted up to Daryl's face.
There was a pause before Daryl shook his head. "We ain't close."
"You're doing the most you can to help my sister and I look for Sophia. That makes us close," she paused, "for now. Don't get too used to it. Once we find her, we can go right back to you hating everyone in the group and me threatening you." The corner of her mouth turned up into a small smile. It was quiet again. "She's lucky I just punched her. I really laid into Ed the one time."
"Yeah," Daryl questioned with a grimace.
"Yep. He was trying to beat up Carol. She was pregnant with Sophia, I walked in, and he ended up with a concussion. I ended up with court ordered anger management to get out of assault charges," she frowned. Dove cleared her throat and ran a hand through her hair. "Anyway, you should really get some sleep. You worked your ass off today; took an arrow and a bullet too. Let me help you," she took a step closer to the bed and Daryl flinched backwards. Dove pulled her hand back.
"Don't need your help," Daryl grumbled as he turned slowly onto his side. Dove stood with her hands on her hips as she watched him struggle slightly. With a roll of her eyes, she stepped forward and reached a hand out to pull the blanket up further over his shoulders. Daryl's shoulders tensed, only to relax after Dove pulled away. "Thanks."
"No problem. You need more medication or anything? I can ask Hershel on my way out," Dove stepped back as she turned to pick up the tray.
"I'm good," Daryl mumbled. Dove paused again, hands on either side of the tray. She lowered her hands to her sides before she leaned over the bed. The brunette froze; it didn't seem like either of them were breathing for a moment.
Dove leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to Daryl's cheek. "Thank you for everything," she mumbled as she turned quickly and picked up the tray.
"I got stitches," she heard Daryl say as she exited the room and closed the door behind her. Dove kept her eyes on the ground as she walked back to the kitchen. "Here you go," she said as she placed the tray on the kitchen table.
"Hell was she rushing around for," Julian said as he watched Dove quickly retreat out of the house. He shook his head as he brought the tray over to the sink for Patricia.
"Probably doesn't want to cause any more trouble for her group after today. Poor thing," Patricia mused as she continued to wash the dishes. "Now you should head off to bed. Ya'll got a busy day tomorrow if you're still gonna be looking for that little girl."
The door slammed open again as Maggie burst into the house. "Right. Night, Pat." Julian hurried up the stairs after Maggie, leaving Patricia alone in the kitchen once again. Julian knocked on Maggie's door quietly before opening. "Mags, what's wrong? You alright?"
"He knows," Maggie whispered in a panicked voice.
"Who knows what ," Julian lowered his voice.
"Glenn. He saw the barn," Maggie shook her head.
"Son of a bitch," Julian hissed. And everything had just seemed to calm down between the two groups.
The next morning felt like groundhog day. Wake up, wash the laundry, hang the laundry, and wait around. Dove hummed to herself as she hung one of her shirts up to dry. "You seem better this morning," Carol smiled. "Noticed you came into the tent late. Didn't see you around camp either."
Dove shrugged her shoulders, "Julian asked me to help him out. They needed help cleaning things around the house so. Figured it was the least I could do for almost causing a street fight 'round here." She chuckled as her gaze flickered to the house.
Carol followed her sister's gaze, a sly look on her face. "Cleaning things?"
"Shut up," Dove hissed through gritted teeth.
"How you feeling," Carol called out as Daryl limped his way past them to his tent.
"Just peachy," he grumbled but, much to the surprise of the two sisters, he smiled just a little before he was on his way again.
There was silence for a few seconds before Carol spoke again. "He smiled. You think that shot to the head gave him brain damage," Carol asked. Dove let out a snort of laughter and shook her head.
She shoved a wet shirt into her older sister's hands. "Don't be such a brat."
"Hey guys," Glenn hurried over in their direction with a basket of fruit. Dove nodded in greeting as she kept hanging her clothes. "I brought you guys some fruit. I mean Maggie brought it to me but now I'm handing it out to everyone so…."
"I suspect this is you apologizing for telling Daryl my business yesterday," Dove raised an eyebrow at Glenn. Carol pursed her lips as she kept at her chores. "That was a pretty shitty thing you did, Glenn. You should've let me tell him about it when I got a chance instead of making me sound like some sort of…some sort of…help me out here, Care."
Carol spoke up from further down the line. "Heathen? Hooligan?"
Dove nodded. "Hooligan. I like that one. You should've let me tell him about it instead of making me sound like some sort of hooligan runnin around here raisin all types of hell."
Glenn let out a heavy sigh, "Sorry! It just."
"Slipped out," Dove and Carol stated in unison with the young man. "Listen, Glenn. You're like my best friend so I gotta tell you, you can't keep secrets for shit." Glenn's expression softened slightly at this. "So I forgive you as long as there's a nice juicy peach in there for me."
Glenn nodded his head. "Right." He began to rummage through the basket of fruit quickly as Andrea walked past them. "You gonna apologize," he asked quietly as he handed Dove a peach
"And say what? Sorry I didn't get to throw one more punch? Third times the charm?" Dove examined the peach as she spoke.
Carol accepted her own with a thanks. "Too soon, I think. But she'll do it eventually."
Dove bit into her peach and rolled her eyes, "Cool. Talk like I'm not here. Now go on, get. Before your girlfriend gets jealous that you're giving all the girls her fruit." She swatted playfully at the brim of Glenn's hat.
Carol reached into the basket as Glenn began to make his way across camp again. Dove raised an eyebrow and Carol shrugged as she set the extra piece of fruit on the table behind them. "For Daryl," she smirked slightly.
Dove rolled her eyes as she took another bite of her apple before returning to work. "Yeah, whatever."
Julian sat in the rocking chair on the porch as he tried to relax. It seemed like every time he was able to stop his mind racing, his attention flickered back towards the barn. Neither of them had told anyone else about the barn or how someone in the new group had figured it out and it was starting to gnaw at his nerves. No matter what happened, it probably wouldn't be good. If Glenn could just keep his mouth shut, maybe they'd be find. Best case scenario, they find Sophia and they leave without an incident. Worst case scenario, they all die.
A hand on his shoulder nearly made him jump out of his skin. Beth looked just as startled as he turned to face her. "Jeez, sorry! I thought you heard me ! I said your name and everything," Beth smiled. "You alright? You and Maggie both seem kind of out of it this morning."
Julian ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just…you think the barn's gonna hold forever?" He made sure that his voice was quiet. He was almost sure that it was hard for Beth to make out what he was saying.
"I don't see why not. No one's gotten out yet," Beth shrugged her thin shoulders. "'Sides, it only has to hold until they find a cure or somethin. Daddy said it probably shouldn't last too long now."
"How does he know that," Julian furrowed his brow. He trusted Hershel and guilt immediately washed over him for mentioning any doubt in the old man. He'd taken him in after everything went down. The only reason he'd come here is because of his sister but she didn't even make it there.
Beth wrinkled her nose in concentration. "Well…how do you know that Mara's still out there?"
Julian leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. "I guess…I can't explain it. Just a feeling, I guess."
"I think it's the same for my daddy then. Just a feeling about it," Beth stared out at the barn for a moment before she looked down at her shoes. "I'm sorry. I know you miss her. This whole thing sucks." Julian let out a quiet laugh. Beth was such a good kid that even hearing her say the word 'suck' just didn't sound right.
"That it does, Beth. But it's all gonna be okay," He turned his head to look back at the blonde girl before he forced a smile.
An excited smile crossed Beth's face, "Oh! I almost forgot what I came to tell you! Daddy said I can do gun training today! He was real angry about it at first, but he said I could." She looked so proud of herself that Julian couldn't help but smile back, genuinely this time.
"Well now! That's great, Bethy. Pretty soon, you'll be like Rambo, huh," he joked and Beth let out a little laugh. Julian decided that he was going to gun training. He hadn't gone hunting in a few years and it couldn't really hurt.
Dove knocked her knuckles on the tree next to the tent. "Did you really just do that," Daryl's voice rung out from inside the tent.
"I'm gonna take that question as a greeting and yes I did. Figured it was the polite thing to do," Dove answered as she stepped into view. A hand was held behind her back as she wiped her other hand on the front of the black tank top she wore.
"What," Daryl raised an eyebrow at her and stifled a laugh quickly as she moved her hand out from behind her back.
"Still feelin peachy," Dove raised an eyebrow at him as he leaned forward and swiped the fruit from her.
Daryl examined the fruit for a moment. "The hell'd you get this from?"
"Glenn gave it to me. Well, Maggie gave it to Glenn who gave one to me and Carol who took one for you and it's just not even worth explaining," Dove waved a hand in the air.
"Nervous talker," Daryl mumbled as he bit into the peach.
Dove stared with pursed lips as the man seemed to enjoy the fruit. "Yeah, real funny. Glad to see you're feeling better," she smiled a little as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.
Daryl shrugged his shoulders. "Good as I can be after taking an arrow and a bullet." He wiped his mouth.
"Well, I just wanted to let you know. Shane's holding up on his deal and givin everyone gun training today. " She quirked an eyebrow. "Not that you need it, but I just figured you might need to watch out. If I can convince Carol to do it, she might be a force to be reckoned with."
Daryl chuckled quietly, "I'll believe it when I see it. If it still existed, I'd say take a picture for me."
Dove laughed. "I'll see what I can do for you," she extended her arms to either side as she turned to head out.
Dove furrowed her brow as she focused on the target and pulled the trigger. She'd been at it for a half hour and she let out an excited yell before she turned her head. "Did you see that? I hit that!" She called back at Carol.
Carol nodded quickly and gave her a thumbs up. Dove peeked down the line, only to roll her eyes at the younger boy from Hershel's camp. She couldn't blame T-Dog for telling him off about the way he was holding his gun either. She rolled her hazel eyes as she heard Andrea say something about hitting her target. "Good job," the person next to her spoke.
Dove turned her head as she watched Julian shoot yet another bottle. "Remind me again why you're doing gun training with us? You don't seem to need it."
Julian shrugged his shoulders as he lowered his gun slightly. "I just needed a refresher, really. I used to hunt with my dad when we lived up north. Figured it couldn't hurt."
Dove shrugged her shoulders and raised her gun again, "Couldn't hurt anyone unless you want it too I guess." She pulled the trigger again and hit her target.
Julian heard Carl laughing and he looked over in that direction, "Nice shooting, buddy! I don't think I could hit that from that far when I was your age."
Rick laughed as he rustled his son's hair.
Rick motioned for Carol to step forward and Dove stepped back to allow her sister to take her spot. Dove flashed her a big smile and a thumbs up as Carol cautiously took the gun from Rick's hand. "I might not be very good at this," Carol explained as she looked from the gun to the targets.
Dove smiled at the curly-haired man, "Ever think of being a motivational speaker," she joked as she turned back to the targets.
Julian chuckled, "Just bein nice is all. You guys got a good group. That kids been through enough shit that he doesn't need someone tellin him he can't do something."
Dove shrugged her shoulders. "Guess you're right. Telling kids they can't do something usually leads to them doing it."
Something was wrong with Lori, that was pretty clear from the second they got back to camp. She was distant, she was sick, and Dove was worried. "You think she's alright," Dove frowned as she looked over towards Lori and Dale.
Carol shrugged her shoulders, "Not sure. She's definitely been a little off the past few days; not that any of us have really been ourselves since Sophia went missing." Carol picked at her food and Dove responded with a quiet grunt. "How are you doing with everything? Everyone keeps askin me, but I don't see a lot of them checkin on you." Carol observed with concern.
Dove cleared her throat and stood as she wiped her hands on the front of her pants. "I'm fine," she mumbled as she stood to collect her laundry. It wasn't the healthy thing to do, she knew that. Still, she felt terrible that anything happened in the first place. People didn't need to worry about her, she could handle herself. Most things in life, she felt like she could expect now.
One thing she didn't expect was the wrath of Maggie Greene when she and Glenn returned from their run. Dove liked Lori. Lori didn't pry or ask too many questions, she just let people talk to her. Dove wasn't ready to talk, so she tried to best to keep herself occupied with folding laundry when they returned. She raised a hand in greeting and almost immediately lowered it when Maggie came stomping over.
Hazel eyes locked on Glenn as he stood back, a look of shock on his face as he tried to stop the young woman. "We got your stuff," Maggie shouted as she kept walking towards them in spite of Glenn's attempts to stop her. Dove raised her eyebrows as she noticed Lori start to look around, suddenly very on edge.
"Come on in here," Lori motioned for the two to follow her and Dove's grip on the shirt she was folding tightened.
"Why? Nothing to hide, we got your special delivery right here," Maggie shouted. "We got your lotion, got your conditioner, your soap opera digest." Maggie continued to yell as she threw things on the ground. Dove just wanted to ground to open up and swallow her. "Next time you want something, get it your damn self."
Dove's eyes widened as Maggie bent down and scooped something up before she shoved it in Lori's hands. "Here's your damn abortion pills." Suddenly, it made sense, How off Lori seemed. How she suddenly got sick at the smell of the cooking meat earlier. Lori was pregnant. Dove's jaw dropped as she exchanged a worried look with Glenn before he ran off after Maggie.
It was silent for a few moments between the two women before Dove spoke up. "Lori. I…."
Lori shook her head and walked off into her tent with tears in her eyes. Dove waited a moment before she sighed, threw the shirt she was holding back in the pile, and went after the other woman. "Rick doesn't know," Lori ran a hand through her hair as Dove entered the tent after her. "I couldn't tell him. Not yet. I don't think I can do this. What kind of life is a baby gonna have in this world? "
Dove looked down at her boots before she took a few steps into the tent and knelt in front of Lori. She took a moment before she reached out and placed a hand on Lori's knee. "Hey, it's alright. I'm not gonna tell anyone." She shook her head. "It's your business to tell him." Her gaze fell to the pills set on the table near Lori's shaking hand. "I just wanted to tell you that…if you wanna talk about it, you know. I'm actually good at keeping secrets. It was kind of a big part of my job before." She gave Lori's arm a squeeze and Lori had a shaky smile on her face as she spoke again.
"Tell me the truth, do you think I'm terrible for even thinking about this?" Lori's voice cracked,
Dove shook her head slowly, "No. I mean I don't know if I'd ever be able to do it, but I understand where you're coming from. I do. I won't be the one to try to talk you out of or into doing anything. Just know that whatever you choose to do, you can talk to me. Carol too, if you want to. I'll leave that part up to you." The brunette froze for a moment, just a little bit shocked as Lori embraced her.
"Thank you. I feel so bad about Glenn and Maggie too," she sniffled.
"Hey," Dove pulled back and placed a hand on Lori's shoulder. "You can talk to Glenn about that but I don't see him as much of a grudge holder. Me, however, I'd probably lay you out like I did with Andrea." Lori rolled her eyes at the poor excuse of a joke as Dove stood. "But I really think you should talk to Glenn. For someone young, he actually gives really good advice." She shrugged her shoulders before she exited the tent.
Dove Sawyer did not envy Lori Grimes in the slightest bit in that moment. She would never want to be in the position that Lori was in at that moment, and maybe that was why she held back the question that gnawed at the back of her mind. Who exactly was that baby's father.