I'm so sorry for the long delay. I've had a lot going on this week and been pretty down, so it's been harder to get into that writing mood. But hopefully this makes up for the absence and I'll get to write another in the next day or two. Thanks for reading – I really appreciate it :)

Chapter 32

Brennan held the phone tight to her ear and waited for Rob to elaborate. But he was talking to someone – it sounded like a doctor.

"Rob – what's going on?" she asked again.

He sighed loudly. "The baby turned. It's stuck. They may need to do a C-section."

"Which way is it turning?" she asked immediately. She looked up at Booth, who was staring off towards the wall with a very serious look on his face. The kind that made a little knot begin to form in her belly. Maybe she shouldn't be trying to help Rob and Amy just now, but… she couldn't help it. They still had time. And… they were her friends.

"The doctor said it's leaning to the right."

"Lay her on her left hip."

"The doctor isn't back yet. The nurse doesn't seem to know what to do. She seems new," Rob added, in a whisper, anger and annoyance seeping into that comment.

"Do you trust me?" Brennan asked.

After a brief pause, Rob called out, "We need to lay her on her left hip." After another long moment. "Now."

Brennan smiled, despite the situation on both ends of the line, at his innate trust in her, given their new friend status. Though they'd both acknowledged, nothing about their friendship had ever felt new. From the very beginning. "If her contractions are still a few minutes apart, she should be able to get the baby into the right position. And… if not, a caesarean section is a very routine procedure. They will both be fine."

"Can you promise me that?" he asked. And she could hear the anxiety in every word.

She said nothing. She wouldn't lie to him. She couldn't make promises. "I have a lot of trust in good doctors," she finally said. "Take a deep breath, and try to have trust in them, too. And in Amy."

"I trust Amy more than anyone. She's… she can do this," he said quietly. "And I feel like a horrible friend. Are you still standing, I can't believe I'm saying this, on a bomb?"

"Yes, actually."

"With Booth?"

She looked at Booth, who was now looking at her, a thoughtful look on his face. He was undoubtedly listening to their conversation. That couldn't be helped. "Yes. With Booth," she said, her eyes never leaving his.

"Temperance, I'm getting nervous now. I thought it would be something that could be deactivated quickly. I mean, when we talked earlier, you didn't even sound nervous. But… what's being done?"

"Our best guys are here. They're working really hard to figure out exactly what we are standing on. They have to be precise, so…" she let the potential outcome go unsaid. What was the point? But once again, her heart ached at the idea that Booth was even in this situation. He never had to be. "Anyway, it takes time."

"How much time is left?" Rob asked, his voice tight.

She looked down at the timer.

1:21:01

"An hour and twenty-one minutes."

Silence.

"Temperance…"

She squeezed the phone tight and took a deep breath, trying to keep her emotions in check. "Rob, I just want you to know… you've been a great friend. And I wish I'd known you longer. All of you. Amy, Keeley… you guys are amazing. You just welcomed me right in and… I needed that. Friendship. I was…" she stopped. She didn't want to hurt Booth and Rob knew all of this anyway. "I just really needed that," she repeated.

"Do not say goodbye," Rob said. "You're telling me to trust these people here even though I'm kind of scared. Do you trust your team that's there, that's working on this?"

"I do," she said, thinking of Benji and how he sat on his knees practically sitting on the bomb beside her since the moment he walked in, getting right to work. He was downstairs now with the others. And they were all determined and fearless.

"And do you trust Booth? You know he's there to make sure that if something can be done, it will be. Do you trust him?"

"I do," she said, even though she knew Booth wasn't there to do anything about the bomb. He wasn't saving the day. He was just… there. With her. For her. If something was going to happen to her, it would happen to him, too. She wasn't alone in this. Because he was right there. "I should go," she finally said to Rob.

"Temperance… you're an amazing friend. Don't ever doubt it. Not for a second. You are loved. You are special. You are one-of-a-kind. And when this baby is born and you are free to walk around again, you better get on a plane and come see us and meet her."

Tears filled her eyes. But her eyes never left Booth's. "I will," she said. And she hung up.

She looked down at a text that came flying in from Rob immediately.

You're going to be fine. But… tell him everything. Leave nothing out. And you don't have to ask me to do the same. I will. For you.

This sounds a little like a goodbye, Rob.

It's not. And you know it. This message isn't about dying. It's about living. Finally. So, what are we waiting for?

She looked up at Booth and noticed tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry that I made you doubt yourself as a friend," he said, his voice choked. "You didn't say it, but… I know. I did. For so long now, you've treated my friendship like it was special. Last year, when I… when I asked you to take a chance on us, you nearly begged me not to give the friendship or the partnership up. And I did it anyway. Eventually. I gave them up."

"Booth, we stayed partners. And it was my decision to leave. Both times. For Maluku. And the partnership."

He stared at the timer for a long moment. "Stop doing that, Bones. Stop taking the blame here. Be honest. Why did you leave for Camden after you overheard my conversation at Founding Fathers? Why did you need to face your past then – those high school bullies and that… that evil man?" he spit out, the final word seeming line acid on his tongue, like he didn't really think Clive was any kind of man at all.

She nodded, and… as much as she wanted to keep blaming herself and her walls for everything she knew that she owed herself more than that – because he played a role in completely breaking her down and making her question everything about herself.

"I went because I was sick of being someone who made people leave. I felt like my friendship, in the end, hadn't been enough to keep you. And I felt that I couldn't take a chance when you wanted to because I spent so much of my life protecting my heart. I didn't want to keep going like that. I thought if I could face that night and those people, that maybe some of my walls could come down and I could finally be enough for… I guess for everyone. I thought maybe I could start changing and be less… less like me."

Booth breathed in and out slowly, but he looked on the verge of an emotional meltdown. "I'm so sorry I made you feel that way. When I think about these past few months – hell, most of the year – I feel so ashamed because I can see it all now. I was blind. But… I wasn't. On some level, I knew exactly what I was doing, Bones, and I think that's worse. I felt rejected, so I hurt you. That is what makes me feel more ashamed than anything. You didn't do anything wrong. You never did anything wrong! Not being ready at the exact moment I was ready doesn't make you someone worth leaving, Bones. It makes me selfish. And impatient. I spent years loving you and suddenly I couldn't wait any longer and see what you needed?"

He threw a hand through his hair and looked around before finding her eyes again. "And me pulling back, little by little, from the one friendship I'd die to keep…" he trailed off, as those words hung out there ringing with truth. He was here, proving their validity. "That doesn't make you someone who can't keep her friends. That makes me a self-absorbed idiot who was putting a new girlfriend ahead of everything in my life that really mattered to me."

"But… you were in love, Booth. You moved on, just like you said you would." She couldn't look into his eyes anymore. Because this… this part hurt more than she realized. "You said you always knew it was me. But then you said, right after… you had to move on. And find someone. And you did. You found someone quickly, someone so much more perfect for you. All of those things that make me different – my walls, my reasons for building walls to protect myself, my logical brain, allegiance to science over most people, the way that I am with people… you found someone who most people would've picked out for you long before they'd suggest me as a potential partner. You deserved that. You deserved someone normal, Booth. Someone like Hannah."

"Bones…"

She still stared down. She squeezed her eyes closed.

"Bones…"

Finally she looked up and the look on his face almost crushed her heart to pieces.

"She wasn't perfect for me. Maybe on paper, some pieces fit. But she wasn't the one for me. All of that stuff that you're thinking about, this 'on paper' stuff… it's not really what matters in the end. She never knew about my dad or Jared… about Pops. All these parts of me that make me whole, she never knew them. I shared an image with her, from what you were to me to what my life was. And it was the reason that this couldn't have lasted. You can only get so far like that. Bones, while I wanted to move on… I never did. It looked like I did, but I never did."

She looked down again. "I know you loved me as a friend, Booth. That you'd protect me at all costs as your partner. And… there's an attraction between us. It's always been there." She looked up. "But—"

"Don't say it wasn't love, Bones. Because I can't handle you thinking that on top of being the worst friend in the world and mistreating you for half a year, that you think I just wanted to sleep with you and nothing more. Friendly feelings, strong partnership, strong physical attraction… that's it. Just… don't."

"But… if it had been what you said…" she took a quivering breath out. "You never would've given up on me. And you never would've instantly found someone to love. You were nearly ready to marry her. And you never even noticed how far we'd fallen. I couldn't have mattered the way you said I did if you were able to keep moving forward without me. I wanted to keep up. I tried. I wanted you in my life. I would bury my feelings and keep going to make it happen. Until I couldn't go anymore. I couldn't be just your partner. It wasn't enough for me. But… it had been enough for you."

"And that's why you assumed that the only thing I was upset about, when I heard about our termination, was that part? Our partnership ending? You thought I only cared about my solve rate."

"Your cosmic balance sheet exists for a good reason, Booth. Catching the bad guys like we do… it's okay to be upset about that."

He nodded. "Sure. And I am. I'm working with someone with a lot of experience, who is working right now without me because he knows where I needed to be right now. But… working without you feels a lot like torture. But I can do it. I can work without you, Bones, for the rest of my career if I have to. It's not what I want. But I can do it. What you need to know is that when I heard about that part ending, I knew we were done. And I… freaked… out. You, not in my life?" He shook his head roughly. "It's something I can't shake. It's my fault, and if I have to fight for this friendship every day for the rest of my life, I will. Your brain and everything you can do – all the things you say make you different, these things make you a gift. As long as you keep sharing that gift with the world, I'm fine with that. Even if you're working with another agent. Though, this new guy… not a fan."

She looked toward the door. Sam was nowhere to be seen. The entire warehouse was empty since nearly twenty people from the bomb division were below them. "He hasn't been the most ideal partner," she admitted. "I've missed you, Booth."

He smiled sadly. "I've missed you too. For a long time, now." He took a step closer to her. "But please know that it's not the partnership I can't live without. That's icing, Bones."

"I don't… I don't know what that means. It's icing?"

"On the cake. If our friendship is the cake, being partners is the icing. It makes it taste great – but the cake is still cake. The icing is nothing without it."

"Ah. That makes sense. It should be a saying."

He smiled and shook his head at her. "You're amazing, Bones. I'm glad you had the chance to face your past. You're stronger than anyone I've ever met. But know this… you don't need to change. If that experience was something you needed to face to truly begin healing from it, then I'm so glad you could do that. Because after… after that… you deserved closure. You deserved a lot of things. But you aren't someone who makes people leave. Your parents had no choice. Your brother was young. And they all came back. Because living without you is impossible once the people you let into your heart know you. Angela is the most fiercely loyal friend – there's nothing you could ever do or say that would make her leave your corner. Ever. And those friends in Camden… they're awesome people and they love you. Right away, they could see how absolutely amazing you are. You're standing on a bomb and still trying to help that girl have her baby safely. And you're probably coaching Rob, if I had to guess, through his relationship issues, because you're secretly a romantic."

"Because they should be together. It's upsetting that they aren't. Everyone can see it."

"Because you have an open heart, Bones. Don't you see? Angela, Rob, Amy – these people know what they have in you and they're not letting go. Bones, I never thought I'd do what I did. Never. Not in a million years. I'll regret it forever. Because you didn't deserve it. Not any of it. And… it was love, Bones. Call it fight or flight, what I did. You said you didn't feel the same way back then and instead of fighting, I ran off – in every way. But it was love. It was years of friendship and yes, attraction, and trust and partnership and honor and loyalty and it was love. I have never felt that way for anyone else. No matter how much I pretended. No matter how much someone else fit on paper. No one else ever could've meant to me anything close to what you did."

She wiped a tear she hadn't even realized had fallen. "I never turned you down that day," she said, quietly. When he said nothing, she looked up at him and he looked confused. "I said I didn't know how to change. I was trying to protect you. That's what I said. I was scared," she admitted.

He put his face in his hands, regret etched all over his expression.

"Booth," Benji said, running back into the room. "Listen. There's a second bomb that was activated. This whole thing is a trap. There's evidence here for the case you're working," he said, looking at Brennan. "And there's no way you'll be able to get it out by the time this thing is set to go. That was the plan all along. Not for this one to run down, but for us to trigger the other one, which is located next to the evidence."

"What evidence?" Brennan asked, typing this info into her phone, to Sam.

"Blood everywhere, clothing… and a body."

"How much time do we have?" Booth asked. She could see shock and anger all over his face, as he assessed her, checking to see if she was alright.

"15 minutes," Benji said.

B*B*B*B*B*B*B*B*B*B*B

Booth's heart fell to his stomach. He wasn't expecting that. That…. Wasn't a long time. "Is there any way to get this deactivated – both of them?" he asked.

"No. Not both. Not with so little time. We weren't expecting the one down there. And we were making progress with this one."

"Booth… you have to leave," Brennan said, her eyes wide with the weight of this reality.

"No," he said resolutely.

"You will be killed here. You have a little boy who needs you. You can't… you have to go!"

"Never." The moment he saw her tonight, he knew exactly what he was doing. The moment he stepped onto this, he knew he was willing to die tonight. And he sure as hell knew that there was no way he was walking out of here alive, without her.

They were running out of time. And they'd said so much but he still burned with shame, guilt and the pang of knowing that he'd undone so much of them this past year. His actions had caused her to doubt herself – to the point of placing herself in danger to try to change – to doubt his love and his friendship. It was breaking him and yet all he could do now was stay here and not leave. He'd already done enough leaving. And before him, others had done it to her, over and over. She wouldn't be alone now. And not ever again. Not if he could help it.

"Well, hopefully our last ditch effort pays off. The cellutube should be here any minute."

"Cellutube?" Booth asked.

"It basically looks like a phone booth made from a bathtub."

"And this crazy tube is arriving here… in minutes? How?"

"We've been on with Agent Blake, and two hours ago, he asked what could be done in the event that deactivation didn't work, and I mentioned it as a possibility… it's a longshot. It's in a lab north of here and it needs a whole team and a lot of equipment just to move it. So he talked to Hacker and they made that happen."

"What do we do?" Booth asked.

"You're basically going to have 1.2 seconds to jump in. Both of you. And it was only built for one."

"Then Booth, leave. I can do it. I can jump. Only I need to stay on the mat – we don't both need to be on this."

"Actually, you do both need to be on it. That's the other reason I came up quickly."

"I wasn't leaving regardless," Booth said. "I would've had you leave, Bones."

"And I wouldn't have left," she said stubbornly.

"What changed?" Booth asked Benji. "With the mat?"

"The weight limit rose just now – it must know that two people are on it and it wants to keep you both on it. It's now set for 240 pounds. I don't think either of you can hit that weight alone, so…"

"I'm so sorry, Booth. You're here because of me."

"Got that right, Bones."

At that she looked up, hurt flickering in her expression at his words. So he clarified. "I'm here because of you."

Because I choose to be. Because it was love. Because it is love. Because you're you and you're everything to me. And because no matter what happened, I'm here now. And I'm not going anywhere.

She nodded as a tear slipped from her eye. He wanted to hold her, but it was not the time. Maybe… maybe another time.

A noise alerted Booth to the door, where Sam ran in and downstairs, as another team walked in with a large black contraption, being wheeled in on what looked like a giant gurney.

Team members ran over to them, and began putting protective gear on Booth. A vest and protection around his head. And Benji kept talking.

"Sam is leading the guys in removing whatever evidence they can pull from this warehouse before we clear out. We have a few minutes. I'm here with you. You need to hold onto Dr. Brennan, Booth, but you need to jump in first. After 1.2 seconds, the door on the cell will close so you need to pull her to you hard."

"No way. She goes first. I'll hold her and jump, but her first."

"It has to be you."

"Why?"

"If you put her first, there's no way you can both make it in. We're using laws of physics here, Booth. We have 1.2 seconds! Inertia – you go first, you're heavier and stronger. You are pulling her, but your weight will land you in the back – it's the only way to make room for both of you."

Booth took a deep breath. "This doesn't sound safe. It sounds like a plan with a lot of room for error." And based on these instructions, 'error' was either both of their deaths – or just hers. And that was not an option.

"Don't get tricky and push her in, either, sacrificing yourself. If she's confused, she will not get through – it's a tiny door and she needs to be pulled through by you. It's not worth you both dying because you're trying to be a hero."

Booth swallowed hard and looked at the cellutube, being set up inches from where he stood. It was narrow and the description of it as a phone booth was accurate – it was a lean standing booth with a door – but also outfitted like a bath tub – strong, thick barriers of protection on all sides. It was heavy and bomb-proof. And he needed to get this right.

He looked at Bones. Protective layers were being placed around her torso and her head.

He needed to get this right. Because he'd never live with himself if he didn't.