Robin felt a bead of sweat run down his face, despite the coolness of the forest air around him. He grunted out loud as he finally maneuvered the dead man into the shallow grave he had dug. He felt out of breath from dragging the man across the clearing. He was surprised at how much the man weighed, considering how the barbarian was small in stature. He turned his head away in revulsion and raised a hand to his nose as he caught a waft of the man's smell. He almost laughed as he replayed his brother's earlier remarks. Penance indeed! I should have allowed Will to help after all…he was the one to kill him!
Shame washed over him at the thought as he recalled his brother's earlier reaction. The boy had seemed traumatized over killing the man. He stared down at the dead man; his gaze focused on the mortal wound at his neck as though the answer lie in the dead Celt. He pondered the growing mystery of his younger brother…. none of it made sense. Robin knew with certainty that Will had killed several men in battle yesterday with ease.
He felt an unexpected moment of pride as he recalled glimpses of the battle and how well his brother had fought. Robin had not shied away from trusting Will in this regard. Will's skills with the blade were well known, almost equal to Robin's ability with the bow. He certainly had no trouble trying to kill me once or twice…. why does this bother him so much? Why am I burying an enemy, one that would have easily taken Will's life if he had not of acted in time? I should be spitting on his grave, not honoring his life.
Footsteps behind him startled him out of his task. Robin whirled around quickly, half fearing that his brother had followed him. He had no desire to see his brother in such a state again if Will were to encounter the body.
He felt relief at seeing Azeem standing there instead. The older man stared down at him, arms folded, a question clear in his eyes.
Ignoring the other man for the moment, Robin turned back to his gruesome task. Having no desire to linger, he quickly finished pushing dirt over the grave, covering the dead man. He made to stand up, brushing the lingering dirt off his hands in disgust. He frowned in annoyance as he remembered his promise to Will. Properly.
Muttering a curse under his breath, Robin glanced around in frustration until he caught sight of the rough wooden crosses that Friar Tuck had fashioned for the graves of their fallen comrades. Reaching over, he plucked one off the ground and plunked it down in the dirt over the Celt's grave. I am most certainly going to hell for this one. If the fat Friar finds out I will never hear the end of it…."
Forgetting Azeem's presence, he almost jumped when the man spoke up suddenly, his voice dry and not unamused.
"Would you like me to say a prayer or find flowers?"
Robin glared at the man, pointedly ignored the goad as he got to his feet. He moved a few feet away from the grave as though to distance himself from his actions.
Azeem stood quietly without moving, as though patiently waiting for answers.
"I am not in the mood for jests Azeem."
"No? I am not the one burying an enemy…is that not a jest? Blasphemy perhaps…. I am not as familiar with your religion Christian…perhaps the Friar would have better answers."
Robin glanced about cautiously as though expecting the passionate man of the cloth to appear out of the woods. His voice dropped to a frustrated whisper.
"Shhhh…. keep your voice down. That is all I need…. I have had enough to deal with today without a sermon."
"I was told that this man just tried to kill your brother…. why would you honor him which such a burial? Do you not care that he attempted to harm your family?"
Robin inwardly sighed. He knew Azeem was not going to let it go without an explanation. He felt tired from the day and all that was still ahead of them. He let out a breath of frustration as he answered his friend.
"Of course I care….," Robin gestured to the grave in disgust and anger and his words came out in a harsh whisper "…..if it were up to me I would have left his body for the crows to pick apart….he dared to touch my brother." He paused, wondering how much he should share.
"Will asked to bury him….I did not wish to refuse him considering how fragile our relationship is at the moment and considering how upset he was over events. You would need to ask him to explain his actions for I cannot. I offered to do so because I did not wish for him to be further upset."
Robin saw his friend startle, surprise evident in his eyes. "
Why would he want such a thing….he was the one to take his life….that does not make sense Christian."
Robin smiled sadly, shaking his head.
"No it does not….I am quickly learning that nothing about my little brother makes sense. I tried to make him speak to me earlier….he fell apart Azeem….in a way you and I have probably not seen since our time at war. I am concerned over his mental state….he was highly distressed after killing this man and I have no answers as to why. We do not know each other well enough for him to fully confide in me just yet."
"I see….." Azeem nodded to indicate the bruise on his chin. "…and the bruise on your face was the result of you trying to speak with him? Could you have not been gentler in your approach?"
Robin chuckled. He touched his face ruefully. "I told him I would get the blame…..No…the bruise on my face was from Will teaching me that he does not like to be hugged and that he has a mean punch when he needs it."
His amusement faded just as quickly as it came.
"I really don't think that he remembers hitting me Azeem…it was as if he was in a stupor and saw something or someone else…I cannot explain why I believe that….but you would only have had to see him to know that something or someone has hurt him badly in the past. He fell apart over slitting that man's throat."
Azeem frowned in concern. "He is unlikely to speak of it anytime soon…he is as stubborn as you are."
Robin glared at his friend.
"I am not stubborn."
Azeem gave him a mocking glance of disbelief. Robin relented.
"Fine…we are both stubborn. It is certainly a family trait…along with that hot temper of his…I had the same when I was his age until I grew out it. Father was similar….we had some fiery arguments over the years. It is not something I wish to repeat with Will. He paused and grinned ruefully….something tells me that it may be unavoidable."
Robin grew quiet. His voice was pained as he next spoke.
"He has his eyes…and his mannerisms….how did I not realize such a thing in all these months Azeem? I should have realized something was not right with us."
"Is that not a good thing that he reminds you of your father….something to be cherished that lives on in your young brother? Perhaps some day soon you can share this with him…allow him to get to know your father in the only way available to him."
Robin swallowed hard, struggling to respond.
"I am…I am not ready for that Azeem. I did not ask him anything about Father…I am not ready to know the truth about that and I can tell he is not ready to speak of it. My guess is the truth when it comes out will be painful….I do not wish to have even more bad memories of my father. I have enough of those to last a lifetime."
Robin felt his friend's hand squeeze his shoulder.
"The more we avoid things the more pain we have to keep on the inside Christian. Your brother has much of this…..he will forever fester in a world of hurt if he never speaks of it. You should not wish this for him…. however painful the answers….you cannot have a future relationship with him if you do not first speak of what has come before. He needs to be able to know that he can trust you with his pain…with whatever has harmed him in his past. He is yet young.
"You are wise my friend. You are right…it is my duty to care for and protect my father's child since he is not here to do so."
Azeem smiled, his voice amused. He glanced pointedly at the freshly dug grave with the cross. Robin followed his gaze.
"Duty Christian? You must obviously feel more than duty for the boy…. if not you would have simply thrown the body into the woods and been done with it…. he would not have been the wiser."
Robin squirmed, uncomfortable with the conversation. He was not willing yet to pick apart his growing feelings for Will. He made a weak attempt to change the topic.
"Are your preparations ready?"
Azeem rolled his eyes, but his tone was pensive as he studied his friend.
"Your brother needs love. So do you for that matter…. a different kind of love than even your lady can provide.
He clapped him on the back as he turned to head back into the forest.
"Come…the distraction is ready. I have just to test my powder…we have made progress."
Robin turned back to the grave briefly, and glancing to make sure Azeem was gone, quickly made the sign of a cross. He snatched up the articles of clothing and armour he had removed from the dead man and headed back to camp.