24 November 1962
Following the national news broadcast denoting the elder Hargreeves as a suspicious terrorist group, they had spent most of the evening trying to come up with plans to circumvent their inevitable doom—both apocalyptic and alien. Let's just say, dinner had been tense. But today was a new day—a new day, and ripe for Yugi and Theodore to slip out into the nether whilst the rest of them slept. The packed bag which Theodore had plucked from where it had sat at his feet was pretty typical for the era (more of a military-style kaki knapsack than anything he was used to) and was filled with canned goods, a change of clothes and what cash he'd managed to nick from his relatives' pockets early that morning.
This time 'round, there was no last meal with his family members (you couldn't really call leftover jello salad and eggs a meal) nor any chance of a spanner being thrown in the works that would prevent him from leaving. It was almost surreal, really. As Yugi shifted impatiently next to the front door with narrowed eyes and teeth grit in barely contained frustration at Theodore's stalling, the boy in question cast one final glance over his dozing family where they lay scattered about the old department store.
From his mother and Auntie Allison who had ended up top-and-tailing on the larger couch in which he had spent most of the day before conked out on. A small smile quirked at his lips as he watched his aunt's painted toenails twitch closer towards his mother's snoring mouth where they had tucked themselves into the small crook between the violinist and the couch cushion. Mama was practically suckling on them as she clung to Auntie Allison's legs like a teddy bear with her own legs crooked towards his aunt's armpit. Honestly if he didn't know any better, he'd have said the two had fallen asleep wrestling each other.
Moving on from the two women, his gaze then drifted over to his comically large uncle who sat squashed into one of the armchairs across from the two girls. A woollen blanket had been draped across his legs at some point, but even then Uncle Luther's legs poked out from beneath it as they hung over the arm of the chair. Uncle Luther could've easily asked for the couch in which the two women slept or used the other smaller couch, but had been either far too gentlemanly or stubborn to do so. Even so, the way in which the undercarriage of the armchair hovered a mere millimetre above the ground and the bulging seams was very amusing.
Peering into the kitchen found Uncle Diego situated at the kitchen table with his feet propped up on the table (something which both Auntie Allison and Uncle Five had berated him for countless times) and head tipped back to rest on the wallpapered window behind him. The occasional whistling snore would escape from his parted lips and brushed against the hair flopped over his eyes. The noise alone made it hard enough for Theodore to not burst out laughing whenever he heard it—it sounded like someone was abusing a squeaky dog toy, that tapered off every now and then before rearing its head in the most violent manner.
Further into the kitchen lay Uncle Klaus whose upper half had somehow become slumped inside the fridge like he'd been looking for something to eat before succumbing to sleep. A couple of empty crystalline bottles with the last dregs of their liquids lay around him, the corks battered and bruised by his feet like extra toes. Theodore wasn't sure if he should be worried about him getting frostbite (was the fridge even strong enough for that?) from falling asleep inside the cold unit, or not. Part of him recalled the drunken story from earlier in the week about meeting God and how She had hated him with a passion, all but kicking him back to life because She didn't want him in the afterlife with Her. One thing that Theodore did note was that upon returning to Elliot's place, the consistent buzzing that the young man had come to associate with said uncle was long gone leaving things eerily silent around him. It unnerved him slightly, if he was being honest. Did that mean Uncle Ben was truly gone? Or just missing? Was there even such a thing as missing ghosts?
With a heavy sigh and a silent goodbye, Theodore finally began to make his way downstairs and over to where Yugi was impatiently clenching and unclenching his fists around the straps of his own bag. "Finally!" Yugi hissed impatiently through clenched teeth as he did his best not to rouse the others. "Let's go!"
"Yeah, yeah" Theodore whispered back, waving an absent hand as he brushed off the teen's impatience, sparing one final glance at his smallest uncle who had fallen asleep in the oddest position on the foyer's floor with his face smushed into the pale linoleum and ass in the air, surrounded by mountains of muddy calculations and empty coffee mugs. Even the jug lay nestled amongst the layers of his Umbrella Academy blazer not too far away; blanketed by several sheets of paper that covered the blood-stained floor. And hadn't that been a kick to the guts? Learning that the Swedes had turned up at some point whilst they had been gone and brutally murdered the building's owner; leaving only a bloody message painted on the floor for them. It was the reason why Uncle Five had shooed both Uncles Diego and Luther off to apologise to some little old lady that they'd terrorised over the phone—something about a wrong number and mistranslation.
The second and final silent goodbye had barely fallen from Theodore's twitching lips (twitching at the harmonious snores that echoed about the cavernous place) when he tripped over his own feet in the rush to ease Yugi's frustrated glares in his direction. The hissed curse and subsequent jostling of furniture ripped through the silence as he quickly caught himself against the nearby TV stand he'd bumped into. Sucking in a pained breath, Theodore glanced up from his undoubtedly bruised shin to see Yugi glaring at him with murderous intent and the sounds of his relatives shifting in their sleep echoed down. "Sorry—!" Theodore hissed as he straightened up and absently rubbed at his sore knee.
"Wha—?" Snorted Uncle Five as he jerked awake at the noise, head jolting from the floor and taking several drool-stained papers with him. Theodore winced; knowing things had just got a whole lot more complicated.
Just like the time before and when he was a child, Theodore knew that remaining with his family was no longer an option; no matter how painful leaving was, it had to be done. Even if he didn't have an antsy teenager shifting in the doorway like a caged animal, he knew that he would have to leave sooner rather than later. The broadcasting of his appearance in the plaza had been troubling, of course, but was, in the end, unavoidable. Which also meant that the subsequent arrival of their enemies was also unavoidable; meaning he had to leave. He'd stayed too long in one place anyhow and it was a wonder, now that he thought about it, how he hadn't been captured already. Sure, he may have slain a fair few of the Mogadorians and time travelling assassins in the past, but that didn't mean he knew what he was doing nor how to do it. More often than not, he felt like he was flying by the seat of his pants (metaphorically of course, as he did spend a good portion of his years in Dallas running around nude or close to it).
However logical this reasoning for their departure was, he knew it would sound flimsy at best to his time travelling—schoolboy assassin of an uncle who was currently eyeing the pair of Garde expectantly and with open curiosity. Yugi, needless to say, was glaring right back at the schoolboy with eyes full of defiance and teeth grit in aggravation from his place in the doorway. His silent message was clear. Theodore on the other hand, had frozen like a deer in the headlights with wide eyes and hunched shoulders staring at his uncle as if doing so would make him invisible. It was only the smallest flicker of his scales as they shifted agitatedly that gave any indication as to whether or not he was still breathing.
Thankfully the noise seemed to have completely bypassed the others as they snored the early morning hours away. "Theodore?" Uncle Five questioned hoarsely, bed hair lain askew like he'd been dragged backwards through a hedge and rumpled shirt poking out from beneath his equally crumpled sweater vest. "What're you doing?"
"Er…" Theodore blanked, unable to think of anything to say in the face of sudden confrontation. Words had never really been his strong suit anyway. Thankfully, Yugi the ever-helpful, stepped in.
"What are you waiting for?" Yugi demanded impatiently, his tone rising slightly in his aggravation. "We need to go!"
"Go?" Uncle Five perked up as he ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to tame it somewhat "Go where?"
"Um… nowhere?" Theodore tried, trailing off sheepishly at Uncle Five's look of disbelief.
"Uh huh" His tone clearly stated that he didn't believe him. But it wasn't like Theodore was King of the Lies; just of keeping his mouth shut.
"C'me on, 2419! We have to go!" Yugi hissed again. "The Mogs could be here any second!"
"You're running away?" Uncle Five deadpanned as everything instantly clicked into place. Theodore winced at the sound of disappointment in his voice.
"What?" Yugi snapped before Theodore could reply. "You think that the Mogs didn't see that shit from yesterday? I wouldn't be surprised if they're camped outside right now!"
"The Commission's already on our asses" Uncle Five directed his retort more towards his nephew who had unfrozen somewhat and was shifting in place like he didn't know which way to go. Though the words were directed towards Theodore, Uncle Five's narrowed eyes remained glued on Yugi who defiantly returned the gesture. "Hiding's gonna do you no good now"
"Yeah right, like I'm worried about those tvnex!" Yugi laughed sarcastically.
Theodore's eyes snapped up towards the gallery where the others remained sleeping, hoping against hope that Yugi's increase in volume hadn't alerted them. Really, the only two that he was worried about was Auntie Allison & Mama and the whole biological/motherly alarm clock that went off whenever a loud noise sounded. It had certainly made sneaking out harder when he was younger. Thankfully though, he was able to breathe easier when all that emerged was muffled mumbles about brains and snorting snores as they tossed & turned in their make-shift beds.
"…The Mogs make your little clockwork cronies look like younglings playing pretend!" Yugi sneered at Uncle Five, emerging from the doorway a little as Theodore returned to the conversation at hand. "You don't stand a chance!"
"What makes you so sure?" Uncle Five retorted, looking affronted at the Garde's thinly veiled threats.
"We didn't stand a chance with the hordes of Garde back then, what makes you think we'll stand a chance now, huh? What makes you think a washed up bunch of has-been superheroes can do anything?"
"You can't run forever" Uncle Five replied in much the same manner with hands clenched in the pockets of his shorts. By this point, his uncle's attention was solely on Yugi and the pair were practically snarling at each other like circling predators. "They'll find you and if not them, then the Commission"
"Not if we're off-world" Yugi retorted smugly.
"What?" Theodore's head snapped over towards the teen so fast he felt his neck cringe with whiplash; brows furrowed in confusion. This was news to him. "You found a working shuttle?"
"Something like that…" Yugi replied vaguely, not quite meeting Theodore's eye.
"Yugi?"
"It's not important"
"Seems pretty important to me"
"Whatever—look we've got to go. Now"
"Are you even listening to me?" Uncle Five interjected once more, eyes flitting back and forth between the two Garde.
"…Do they really not know?" Yugi turned to Theodore, this time his own brows knitted in confusion as it seemed to dawn on him just how little the Hargreeves understood of the Garde's situation.
"Just the basics" Theodore shrugged, diverting his eyes to the floor as Uncle Five's gaze turned to him. "If that"
"Geez…" Yugi sighed with a roll of his eyes and hand running through ginger locks. "Y'know that'll get 'em killed, right? It's a wonder they're not dead already"
"Probably 'cause they're annoyingly stubborn" Theodore replied with a small grin pulling at his lips.
Uncle Five, who up until this point had been relatively satisfied with watching the pair of Garde like cats watching tennis with narrowed calculating eyes and lips pursed into a thin line, spoke up once more. "Are you really going to abandon Vanya, again Theodore?" Uncle Five spoke purposefully picking the words he knew would hit home. As petty as it was, the schoolboy assassin would do anything—anything—to keep his family together. Even murder; which he'd also done.
"I—I—" Theodore stuttered as his eyes flitted up towards the gallery where his mother lay sleeping, clearly conflicted about leaving. He knew that his indecision was written in his eyes, knew that his loralite scales were flittering in agitation over his indecision. It was clear to anyone who looked how he wanted nothing more than to stay, but knew he had to go for their safety just as much as his own.
"Don't you care about your own mother?"
"But she's not his real mother" Yugi intercepted, watching the expressions on his fellow Garde shift back and forth like a seesaw. "Remember? You're not even his family! You—!"
"—Stop it! Just stop it!" Theodore eventually cried when it all became too much. The television he'd bumped into earlier formed a crack down its screen at his words, making the other two snap towards the piece of furniture at the action. But Theodore ignored them as he thread anxious fingers into his hair as he shuffled over to the display armchair and plopped down. "I—I just—just stop…Just make 'em stop!"
If Theodore had glanced up at that point or even dared to flick his eyes over to the blank television in front of him, then he would've seen his uncle spare a satisfied smug smirk in Yugi's direction like the cat that got the cream, as he got the result he wanted. In turn, the Human Garde would've seen Yugi bare his teeth in a silent snarl not too dissimilar from an angered beast which had Uncle Five tensing for a fight. As it was, the only thing Theodore heard from the other two was the retort that fell from Yugi's lips as he angrily stomped across the room and into a small alcove which led into the dust-lined boarded display windows at the front of the store.
It was closer to midday when everyone had eventually roused themselves and prepped for the day ahead. At some point, Uncle Diego had commandeered the televisions once more (despite Auntie Allison's warnings to turn them off) and Theodore thanked his lucky stars that Uncle Five had been too preoccupied with his calculations to bring up this morning's attempted departure to the others or himself. Although, he had been watching his nephew like a hawk as if to make sure he didn't make a run for it whilst he wasn't looking. Honestly, Theodore was just glad that Mama didn't know about the incident; he wasn't sure how he would be able to handle the outcome of that. Would she hate him again? More? They seemed to be walking along a precarious edge ever since the events of the days previous. Whatever had happened to her had certainly stirred things up, and for him too if he'd ever admit it.
"…At least I wasn't playing with myself—" Uncle Diego sneered at Uncle Five, more than happy to resume the argument from the day before about the Commission. Apparently one day at the time travelling HQ qualified Uncle Diego as an expert. Or so he said. Uncle Five disagreed. Wholeheartedly. Theodore was just happy to remain tucked away in the crook of the stairwell with one arm hooked around the railing as he watched on. Watching the argument play out also gave him a good excuse to hide away from Yugi's and Uncle Five's piercing stares which had followed him wherever he went.
"—Can you dispense with the dick-measuring for five minutes?" Auntie Allison sighed as she clung to the only cup of coffee she's managed to steal from beneath Uncle Five's nose. He'd been fiercely protecting the pot like a dragon over its golden hoard.
"Unless you can literally, 'cause Ben and I—" Uncle Klaus cheerily added his two cents before being cut off.
"—We don't have time for this" Uncle Luther interjected as he shifted in place, eyes roving over his family members save for Mama who had disappeared upstairs to make a call. "The Feds could be here any minute"
"That's what I've been saying!" Auntie replied indignantly.
"I'm agreeing!"
"Okay, calm down, Hairy—" Uncle Five sassed.
"—Hey, it's King Kong, and I'm sick of your ass, okay?"
"Yeah, okay, you win"
"Guys, we need to move, okay?" At that, Theodore noted Uncle Five's side-eye, no doubt mind returning to the earlier incident. "That is more important here, that is our only option"
"No, we need to box up those windows—" Uncle Diego fired back. "—And stay here—!"
"—I'm leaving" Mama announced, the words leaving her lips before she had even fallen from the last step.
"What?" Theodore perked up, mindless of his relations' reactions. Sure, he knew that eventually he'd have to leave, but for what reason did his mother have to go?
"Well, maybe if you shut up for once" Loren grumbled, just about as agitated in their indecision to stay or go. "She'll tell you. Listen to your mother, youngling"
I'm not that young! Theodore pouted.
"You are to me"
We're the same age.
"Age means nothing in the face of wisdom"
Quoting Pittacus to me? Really? Since when were you such a blörvig?
"You kiss your mother with that mouth?"
"…Cissy's farm. Something's wrong with Harlan—" Mama replied urgently, shifting in place.
Harlan? Theodore mouthed, trying to place the name to the face but nothing was coming up. Was this the new family that she had mentioned earlier?
"—And I need to help him"
"Vanya, we need to stick together, okay?" Uncle Luther stepped forth. "Now more than ever"
"That's why I'm telling you this. Whatever's going on with Harlan, I think I might've caused it"
"How?" Uncle Diego asked.
"…He drowned, and, uh, somehow I was able to bring him back to life. And now it's like we're connected"
"Wh—what does that mean?" Theodore stammered, a part of him—a bitter, petty part—feeling like he was being replaced. Another part of him wondered if the Mogs might think him one of the Garde and go after him. It wouldn't be the first time.
"I—I don't know" Mama implored, "I can't explain it, but I know that he needs my help…I need your help too. I'm scared and for the first time in my life, I don't wanna do it alone. I want my family by my side"
Oh, so now we're family? Theodore looked away bitterly, chewing at his lower lip as the seed of jealousy grew.
"Monkey, you still call her 'mother', so it's not like you can talk!" Loren pointed out as if they were talking to a youngling.
That's not the point!
"You're not a youngling anymore! Quit acting like it!"
But I thought—
"—You think? Ooh, dangerous past-time that!"
Oh ha ha! You come up with that yourself? How long did it take you this time?
"Better?"
…Maybe…
"Look, I'm sorry" Uncle Diego shuffled forward, breaking through the awkward silence which had descended upon the building following Mama's little speech. "We have other priorities right now"
"Diego's right, for once" Uncle Five agreed solemnly from where he had sunken back against the railing, looking about as apologetic as Theodore had ever seen him. He did look genuinely sorry. "We need to make our stand here and now"
"…Teddy?" Mama implored, her pleading eyes drifting over each of the Hargreeves in an attempt to persuaded them. Theodore felt his heat stutter when the big brown eyes turned to him.
"U-uh…I—I—um—" Theodore stuttered over his suddenly heavy tongue and dry throat. Luckily (or unlucky depending on your view) for him Yugi chose that moment to intercept once more.
"You can't be serious!" Yugi snarled, leaping from the display window at the end of the room and strode down towards the Hargreeves with a look of utter thunder. "Did you conveniently forget about the Mogadorians already on our asses, you dorvik, and you want to throw this—this youngling into the mix?! Are you insane?! We have to go. NOW!"
"C'me on, Yugi" Theodore sighed as he rose to his feet and all eyes flittered between the two Garde. "If what Mama says is true, then the Mogs'll think that he's one of us and you know what that means"
"Fuck that!" Yugi threw his arms about as if to punctuate his displeasure at the situation. It seemed the Garde were due for a renewal of their alleyway argument. "WHAT HAVE THESE FLÖRFS EVER DONE FOR US?! HUH?! THEY HANDED US OVER FOR COIN AND GLORY WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT! THAT'S WHAT! I REFUSE TO GO BACK IN THAT FUCKING CAGE! YOU HEAR ME?!"
"You and I both know where we'll go, Yugi" Theodore sighed, slightly irritated at the assault thrown at his face as he came to stand in front of the teen with hands lying limply at his sides. Almost subconsciously, the young man placed himself between the Loric and the humans, knowing full-well what kind of damage—accidental or otherwise—could come from an upset Garde. "And it's not back into that cage"
Theodore could feel the inquisitive gazes of the elder Hargreeves burning into his back and he tried his best not to shift beneath them, no matter how uncomfortable he felt. He knew that his scales were forever click-clacking against each other as they moved about. The worst one was Mama's stare that was more concerned than anything else and somehow that was the one that bothered him the most. But he did his best to keep his eyes resolutely locked on the snarling ginger before him.
"WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT HISE KELTOR PLANET SO MUCH?!" Yugi shouted into his face—quite literally—as he moved in close enough that the two were almost nose-to-nose. Theodore cringed at the spittle that flew from the teen's mouth and hit him on the cheek—he could feel the sludge sliding down over his scales like thick slime—and he felt the vein on his neck twitch as his own irritation was kicked up a notch.
"BECAUSE I'M ONE OF THE KLETOS WHO LIVES ON IT—!" Theodore shouted back, pettily vindictive when his own spit landed on Yugi's chin.
"—Alright, that's enough!" Uncle Luther stepped in, physically pulling the two apart as animalistic growls fell from the Gardes' lips like strays in the street. It was only as Theodore was picked up like a sack of flour and moved back upstairs that he heard his mother's quiet resignation.
"Okay, I guess…I'll see you when I see you"
In the end, it didn't take long for the remaining Hargreeves to come to a decision. Something, in hindsight, which was easily helped along by Yugi's declaration that Theodore was a lost cause and had decided to high-tail it out of there as soon as Mama had slammed the door closed on them. Not that Theodore really expected any different; Yugi had been chomping at the bit for some time and whatever grief (however well-founded) he was still holding onto from Kiran's death had caused him to go (a little) off the rails. A new environment with new people and new circumstances; well, it would drive anyone insane and if he compared it to how well he'd first acclimated to family-life with Mama…well, Yugi was faring much better than he had in the beginning.
Uncle Klaus had been the first to leave—after having changed into what he deemed as 'mission gear'—soon followed by Uncle Diego and Auntie Allison (each dressed in black clothes). Uncle Five went next, dragging Theodore along by the collar of the peacoat that Grandfather had gotten for him as he shoved a pair of borrowed sunglasses over his scale-peppered face. Honestly, the only reason he'd worn the coat and sunnies was in a poor attempt to hide his scales so as to not frighten the Cooper family…and to hide from any watching Mogs.
"Five, you—you don't have to—" Mama protested as Uncle Five pulled open the passenger's door and leaned down to speak to her.
"—I know. You owe me one, sis" Uncle Five smiled sweetly before turning to Uncle Klaus, "Children sit in the back"
"Teddy?" Mama peered around Uncle Klaus's ass as he scrambled over the back of the seat and wedged himself between Auntie Allison and Uncle Diego much to their chagrin.
"Road trip!" Theodore cheered weakly as Uncle Five slid in to take Uncle Klaus' place and the young man slipped into the window seat. "Nobody better fart!"
"Guys, I don't know what to say…" Mama smiled as Uncle Luther popped the trunk and slunk inside with a shrieking squeak of hinges and metal as the lower half of the car sank to the ground.
"If anyone makes a fat joke, I'm outta here" Uncle Luther forewarned and then they were off, tail pipe sparking down the street and leaving a trail of fireworks in their wake. Subtly really wasn't in the Hargreeves' dictionary.