When Castle heard the news he was dumbstruck on the couch. He watched all the loops of journalists reporting every nuance about the broken ceramic figurine. It was a remarkable twist that absolutely no one saw coming. To think that the answer to all her angst was right on her desk.

His first instinct was to reach out to Kate. The question was how. Calling seemed abrupt, and knocking on her door felt arrogantly insensitive. Although he knew about her life, he wasn't in her life. His mother was mildly encouraging saying, "All you're doing is showing concern. Do it and leave."

Alexis took the opposite view entirely. "She knew how you felt and tossed your feelings aside for her obsession. I purposely didn't object to her being around because you were doing so well. Seeing her in a social setting was perhaps your way of knowing your therapy sessions were working. Now you would jump right back exposing yourself to all that heartache like a moth to a flame. She chose; it wasn't you. Does she need to wear a sign?"

Castle was predisposed to Martha's viewpoint, but deeply vexed by Alexis's vehemence. His therapist was more in the Martha camp. "See her once, console as best you can, and leave. Nothing further can come of it. You are not the same people you were on that fateful night when you walked out. She has been humbled professionally, and you have been humbled emotionally. Great as it might have been, the foundation of what you had has been destroyed. There is no going back."

What finally made the decision was seeing her at the press conference. He knew her tells, and there was no doubt in his mind that she was numb and very uncomfortable in the public spotlight. Now, without any warning, her whole life had been upended. Sometimes even good things can be cruel. She needed a friend who understood, and he filled the bill probably better than anyone else except her dad who was obviously dealing with his own renewed grief.

The problem was not letting things escalate. Alexis and his therapist had been right about that. Going back would be so tempting. The problem was his love for her was not enough. He would always wonder when the next obsession would drive them apart. No real relationship could be sustained on that rickety foundation. Instead, it would be a one time thing. Express your profound empathy and leave. He chose to use Kevin as a intermediary. Kevin reported Kate was receptive, and they could meet at her place on her day off late the following week.

When she opened the door, she melted into his awkward embrace like their ugly parting never happened. Castle was surprised by the intimacy. She started the coffee perking when she went to answer the door and finally peeled herself away long enough to bring two steamy mugs over to the couch where they had slowly transitioned from the doorway. His first words were, "Kate how are you holding up. This is great news, but so sudden and unexpected. It must be a tremendous shock."

"You have no idea. I feel like a castle where the siege has suddenly ended. I don't know how to do normal. Dr. Burke is helping, but it is slow going. You once told me I was extraordinary because I didn't give up. Now the reason for that is gone in a flash. What am I going to be without it? Put the cassette in the player, hit play, and your life goes into a tailspin in less than ten minutes."

"Are you keeping up with the case?"

"No, Dr. Burke has recommended I stay away now that the awful press conference is over. The details would just be additional triggers for my obsession." Castle was surprised by this revelation. The old Kate didn't readily share personal things like that. "I am asking for a month leave of absence. Kevin thinks he can cover my team well enough although Gates may be a hard sell."

"What will you do?" Castle queried.

"Probably take a trip and hope the change of scenery will help me sort this out. Dr. Burke had agreed to a bunch of telephone appointments. My dad is planning on doing the same thing up at the cabin. We need to make our separate peace with this, so we are told."

Unsure about prying into her therapy sessions, Castle chose to change the subject to the precinct. Kate replied, "I am fully back as a lead. Gates has a new hybrid role as Captain and a 1PP advisor. Kevin is my supervisor. The precinct is lucky to have him. He was a good detective, but an even better leader."

"He still watches over my team more than anyone else. I have weekly meetings with him that can be brutal. He makes sure I know who the real lead is for me and my team. I think trust will come, but I have to earn that everyday just like any other recovering addict."

"I am sure that will come in time." She offered no reply. Unsure about what other topics would not be upsetting to her, he knew it was time to leave. There was no going back; events had overtaken their always.

As he turned to leave, Kate said, "I'm sorry, Rick, Sorry, for how things turned out."

He pivoted back to her and said, "I am sorry too. It would have been great." With that final surmise, he took his leave for the final time. Later, Kate remembered she had used that same exact phrase at the end of their first case together. Before it was just a bit of harmless flirting; now, it was a loaded subtext assessment of how far they had come and what had been lost.

A week later she found herself in sunny, warm, and busy Los Angles with slightly less than four weeks to explore the west coast and get her head right. On the third day she decided to revisit her old haunts around Stanford. She ducked into a coffee shop for her third refill for the day, and that's when it happened. There sitting at a table with a textbook in front of her was Alexis, and their eyes immediately locked.

Kate retrieved her drink order and sat at the same table while offering a fairly inane greeting. Alex closed her book, and said, "Hello Kate. I have seen the news about the Senator. It must have come as quite a shock after all these years."

"It was; it is. That's why I'm here. Need a change of scenery to decide how to process and proceed."

"My dad told me about all that after he came to see you. Something I told him not to do. You are like catnip to him. He has made good progress since finally saying no more to your drama, and don't you dare drag him into whatever your plans turn out to be."

Kate took a moment to absorb the full extent of this direct rebuke. It would be the last words she would even hear from any Castle. As she stood to take her leave, she replied, "Alexis, I am very sorry for what I did to your father. I know exactly what I lost that night."

At the end of her leave she had made two big decisions. Getting justice for others, like Roy said, was her calling, and working under Kevin was the best place to keep her obsessions at bay. Although never friends, Kevin remained her supervisor even when he became her Captain. During that time, many green investigators learned their craft under her watchful eye. From the outset she defined their relationship as strictly professional and made a point of working through any precinct celebrations even for her own team.

In the bullpen, time and turnover certainly toned down what she told Javi was the blue cold shoulder. What her peers came to understand was that any case assigned to her would be handled competently. That consistency placated most of the blatant animosity, but it was replaced by an awkwardness particularly for newer staff who were not around for the terrible IA investigation.

In fact most of her peers were unaware that her closure rate was in the top five citywide for the last five years of her tenure. When 1PP inquired about some sort of recognition, she always refused. Her place to shine was in the box getting justice not celebrating murder with a bunch of gold leaf. When she retired, she left without any fanfare. In her last hour, she put her few personal items in a small box, returned her gun and badge to Kevin, and left by the backstairs where few would notice her final exit.

On the home front, she cajoled her dad into allowing her to start a major remodel and weatherization project at the cabin. That's when she met Randy who was to become her general contractor for what she would later describe as the project that changed everything. He brought a trailer on the property and basically never left. Meetings, calls, buying trips, lunches, and dinners led to dates and finally bed.

While he understood the drama about her mother, her work, and Castle, he refused to let her dwell on it. Instead he wrapped her in a caring blanket of mundane happy activities that made her considerable baggage less burdensome. When a reminder cropped up, he waited her out until she took the initiative to discuss it. No guy had ever accepted her brooding without calling her out, and she found it very appealing. Perhaps her many failed relationships boiled down to this underlying flaw. This was an inescapable part of who she had become, and Randy had provided her a way to confide this brooding on her own terms.

Most days off and vacations were spent at the cabin. It was about ninety minutes from the precinct to the train station where Randy's rather battered pickup would be waiting. Once at the cabin, her gun, badge, and cop attitude were all immediately shed. When she emerged in jeans, fuzzy socks, and a tattered sweatshirt, she was just Kate.

THE END