gemsofformenos: Yeah, Sokka bottling it up is never a good thing. He just wants things to be as they were, he wants people to be as they were. But in this case, how can everyone just be the same when so much time has passed. He just feels as though he has missed his last opportunity to be a kid and have fun. "Sokka ignores the emotions he has in this case much like Azula and tries to hide it by clinging to his old behavior even more." So yeah, he pretty much ends up regressing and repressing. All the while the others have their own demons to tackle. "Sokka should talk about how he has to struggle with these changes and why and Azula should talk about how she fears that Sokka cannot accept that she has changed as well like he has changed as well." Indeed, talking would definitly clear the air a little bit and they could work through things. "Azula is still hurt and feels bad about the way she has been acting with Jet and the fact that Jet remains distant from now on." Jet is kind of added stress, weather he means to be or not. "Both will need to talk about their fears cause I think they'd understand each other pretty well." Very true, usually their drama comes form misunderstanding. They both kind of feel the same way when it comes down to it. "Take care of yourself and I hooe you'll get some rest you need. Have a wonderful day and keep on having fun with your stories." And thanks again. It's been a rough week. . Basically like three people called off while I was in training and my first day was on the busiest day of the week and so it just didn't go well. But my boss was pretty adamant that it wasn't my fault.
They fight more often than not. Over the stupidest things. He invited her into his room again for some movies and story swapping. She makes the mistake of picking up one of his old, outgrown shirts and, with a laugh, asking if he really needs it still.
"Yes I need that!" He had snapped. He doesn't think that it was his words but his tone. He can still vividly see her roughly tossing it into his laundry basket with a muttered, "you really don't but fine."
She didn't leave and he didn't ask her too but she was silent until he mustered up the courage to ask if she just wanted to get to the movie. She hesitated before saying yes. And then he makes a mistake of his own. He suggested one of the few movies they always watch. It was innocent enough when she suggested a movie that he had never heard of. A movie that came out during his absence. She mentioned that it was a popular one and that it would probably help to see it so he can jump into conversations about it. She added that she would show him a few new songs too. He was already too disgruntled to appreciate that she'd mentioned that they were reggaeton specifically.
In retrospect it is a good idea. He should have taken the offer. It would have been logical and smart. Instead he complained. Complained and insisted on one of the old movies until she sighed, pinched the bridge of her nose, and left with a final comment, "let me know when you're ready to move forward."
He overheard a hasty exchange of goodbyes between she and his parents. He had asked Katara to talk to her for him when she had the opportunity.
That was the first fight, there were several more over things so mundane he can't remember what they were. The fighting grew more intense when school resumed. This is no surprise to him, the first week of school leaves her grumpy like clockwork. It always had since he could remember.
Currently they sit on the patio of the Cod Shack. Soft gusts weave around tables and chairs. They are a bit too strong for his liking and he has to set his soda on his napkins and menu to keep them from blowing away. He watches the patio lights sway and looks to the clouds. They are still white but the forecasters have called for a light but steady rain.
"So did you pick out any colleges yet?"
He knows that her senior year has only just begun, but he also knows that she is always prepared leagues ahead of everyone else.
She hums in thought. "I did…"
"But?"
"I was going to try to surf professionally and get a higher education on the side. I have something else in mind now."
"Which is?" He presses.
"A surprise." She smirks.
"Oh come on!" He throws his hands up with a laugh. "Don't I get a hint."
She ponders it. "During my high seas adventure I unlocked a hidden talent."
"Another one?"
"There will be more to come, don't worry." She pauses. "I already know where I want to go so I can help you re-apply to some of the colleges. I actually already have a few ideas for when you begin applying for scholarships. You have quite a story to tell and…"
He doesn't mean to but he tunes her out, her voice lost beneath a rushing current of unease. She has already done the hard work for him and yet he still feels horribly overwhelmed.
College? Scholarships? Letter? He just got back. He doesn't want to think about scholarships. He doesn't want to think about the future at all. And Azula keeps smacking him in the face with it. A new feeling mixes in his belly with the fear. It takes him a moment to process it as anger. No; mild agitation.
Why can't she just let him be and stop hounding him?
If he were thinking logically, he would remind himself of who he is talking to. Would remind himself that she would-that she already has treated herself the same way.
He heaves the itching irritation aside and changes the subject. "Have you made up with Jet yet?"
Azula sighs. He expects her to steer the conversation back on track. "No, he won't talk to me. Unless it's surf team related." She pauses. "But it's fine, I have you and pretty much everyone else. Helping father with AA and the lighthouse keeps me busy enough after school…"
Again he finds himself zoning out. He doesn't know how she does it; plans for further education, attends surf practice, manages the lighthouse, and helps Ozai with AA, all while attending school. His eyes wander to the scars on her arm and chin; a subtle reminder that she probably is pushing herself too far. Farther than he could ever know.
And what is he doing? Working one lax, family run job.
He rubs his hands over his face. For all he knows she has done much more. He remembers her mentioning that she helped repair and remodel La-bsters. She'd already confessed that she'd let her mother die to save Zuko instead.
He knows that he shouldn't but he does. Curiosity gets the better of him so he asks, "I guess you've had an eventful summer then?"
Azula nods. She leans in and whispers, "Jet and I snuck out and had a few drinks."
"That's your big news?"
She rolls her eyes. "I'm talking about the kid I stole from father after he told me to throw them out for him."
Sokka blinks. "Oooh, those kinds of drinks…"
She nods and in his head he checks off one more thing that she has done before him. "Did you get…"
"Drunk?" She thinks for a moment. "No, not quite." She backtracks, "maybe a little."
"Is it because you have so much going on right now?"
"I'm not my father, Sokka, I have more control than that." She picks up an onion ring. "It was a one time thrill. I just wanted to see what it was like."
Just a simple life experience…
Simple and yet suddenly it feels like she is much older than he. His stomach turns again.
.oOo.
Things are forced more often than not. He always seems so uncomfortable around her when she isn't faking. He watches the same movies over and over again and the more she pushes for him to give a new release a try, the more furiously he pushes back.
Everything is 'remember this, remember that?' Everything is a nostalgia trip and she wants to leave the vehicle. She wants to move away from the remember's but she doesn't want to move away from Sokka.
She doesn't think that he will leave her a choice if she doesn't play along with his childish antics. He gets moody and frustrated and she is probably one more, 'Sokka, let's try something new' away from a breakup.
So she forces a smile and bares another trip to the Cod Shack while Zuko and Katara meet Aang and Toph at the new arcade. He is blabbering on and on about how good it is to be home; she doesn't mind this, this is actually rather adorable. But then the 'I'm happy to be home' spiel spirals into how great it is that she is willing to stick to 'the good stuff' and not that 'stupid new arcade.'
She doesn't have the heart to tell him that she goes to the arcade with Zuko and Katara when he takes up his shifts at La-bsters.
He pushes in their chairs, "let's walk along the beach, I was thinking that we could build sand castles like old times!" He holds up a pail and a blue plastic shovel.
"Sure, Sokka."
"Are you okay?" He asks. "You seem unhappy."
"I'm fine."
"In other words, something's bothering you. Is it your dad?"
"No, father has been great. He's getting his life together and moving forward." She is too slow to keep the emphasis on 'moving forward' out of her voice. "I'm fine Sokka, let's go to the beach."
Sokka's expression brightens so much that she almost doesn't mind the prospect of building sandcastles like children. But that charm only lasts until they are on the beach and she spies Chan, Ruon, and most of the surf team.
Chan gives her a wave that she returns with a fluttering stomach. She takes the shovel that Sokka extends to her.
"What brings the two of you to the beach?" Chan greets.
Azula's phone buzzes and Zuko's name flashes across the screen; he is bragging about finally beating Toph at one of several of her favorite arcade games.
"We were just going to build sand castles!" Sokka declares proudly.
"Like kiddie sand castles?" Ruon asks.
"That's right." He is much bolder than he ought to be and her cheeks grow gently pink on his behalf.
"Actually, Sokka, father just texted. I have to go home and help him make a repair to the lighthouse." The look of disappointment on his face leaves her feeling rather horrible. And the drive home seeps with an atmosphere of letdown. It only grows as they get closer to the lighthouse. "Maybe tomorrow, Sokka? Would that be fine."
"Yeah, tomorrow." His smile is as forced as her enjoyment of their dates.
"Alright, I'll see you after surf practice." She leans in for a kiss.
She feels no spark.
She hates to think it, much less say it, but it feels like kissing a kid or a little brother.
.oOo.
Sokka flops down upon his head and puts the heels to his eyes. He is potently aware that he is blowing it! He knows his options; he can cling to the way things used to be and lose Azula or he can embrace the changes with her.
Still, he isn't ready to leave his childhood behind. Not when it was so bright and so happy. He isn't ready to take on the world and leave the shores that he loved. Not so soon after he has gotten back. Not ever.
He picks up one of several pictures of he and Azula. They are kids, they are looking at the camera and smiling. She holds a fishing pole with the smallest fish he has ever seen. He is holding a tackle box.
He swallows.
Fishing had been a new experience at one point. La-bsters had been new at one point. Going from swimming at the eastern beach to the western beach had been a change…
He swallows once more. He supposes that he wouldn't have met Azula at all if not for one simple and subtle change.
One simple and subtle change that made him feel so much happier for years to follow. He rubs his hands over his face. Tomorrow is going to be an awful day.
.oOo.
Azula takes a seat on the lighthouse patio and watches for Sokka's car. She tries to prep herself for a night of silly activities and pretending to enjoy them.
She wonders if she should skip the faking and feeling sparing and break things off. She has already broken Jet's sensitive heart, she may as well continue her streak.
She spies his headlights and hears the pops and snaps of the gravel. Hears the car door slam and the sound of Sokka's sneakers shuffling up the driveway. He gives a sheepish wave and a, "hey." Maybe he knows what is coming.
"Hello, Sokka." She pauses and opens her mouth to speak.
"Uh...so I left the pails and shovels at home."
Her chest floods with relief. Though it quickly fades as she processes what that likely means. She guess that she will let him rip the bandaid. "Then what are we supposed to do?"
"I was hoping to maybe just go to the boardwalk or something. Or we can stay here. I just want to talk."
She hears the door creak slightly ajar. "We can stay here and talk if father will give us some privacy." She hears the door shut once more. "He has been a little board without the bar."
Sokka laughs. "He knows that he can go to the bar and order a soda or something, right?"
"He isn't ready to be that close to the bar yet." She shrugs. "Anyways, let's get this talk over with."
He gnaws on his lip. "I've been gone for kind of a long time."
"Yes. What of it."
"So I missed a lot."
"We've established this, yes."
"And I was wondering, are you still willing to help catch me up?"
She thinks for a moment. "No." She replies. His world seems to fall apart. "I'll help you get ahead."
He still tears up but she is certain that it is with relief and joy. "I looked up some of those movies that you mentioned. Or maybe you can show me some of the new restaurants on the boardwalk."
"How about the arcade."
"I don't like arcade games."
She rolls her eyes. "Let's go see a movie. If you would like, we can rent one and watch it in your room like we usually do."